January 31, 2019 • 44 mins
Garrett and Greg T recap the week of Super Bowl commercials, Cardi B turns Greg T on with some ASMR and we have some DUMB news stories!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh, we are gonna do the laboratory show. Got that audio?
Gonna play it, You're gonna listen to it? We got it?
How wow? What is with you? Why is so loud?
It's blasting? Look where the levels arts? Yes? Levels levels um?
(00:23):
Audio laboratory, audio laboratory. Get ready audio No? I hate this,
I hate this one. Maybe he could be could be
audio laboratory audio like this audio laboratory, audio laboratory. One
(00:47):
at all. Welcome, welcome to the show. We are the
laboratory show. Audio Laboratory, Audio laboratory. Are you going with
this one? Oh? Yeah, like we got Garrett Audio laboratory,
audio laboratory. All right, well, welcome to the audio lab.
(01:12):
My name is Garrett. That's how we start show. Wants
the freestyle yet again? That is Greg t himself Audio
lab or audio laboratory. You could go either or but
how do you want to coin it? Well, it's it's
tomato tomato at the end of the day. Labish Labish
short for laboratory. So you could you could go either way. Well,
(01:33):
if you say you got to go to the laboratory,
sometimes that means you have to go to the restroom.
Well that's if you're like a pampas a whole. Well,
you know, I could see people trying to make fun
of our podcast and saying, oh, yeah, that's that's the
audio restroom that they do. It's fine, So maybe we
should just call audio lamb. I'm okay with it. What
do you like? I like the laboratory. See, but be
careful because I'm telling you they're gonna say it's the
audio bathroom. It's fine, you know if they think that,
(01:55):
they think that that's what that everybody opinions are like,
are like, everyone has a bathroom? Or do we want
to be associated with podcasts with that name already? Uh,
there's another one out there. Get out of here, and
we're audio laboratory. Well we're better, of course, obviously. But
they were smarter to not be the laboratory saying news
to the bathroom, right, or they were smart to get
(02:18):
it done before we did. Go on here. They hit
that be the intro game. That was a good time.
A bitepetie beat, wasn't this one? Beatie Beats? That's another
one round Brown? I like this. See what we got here.
(02:45):
We've got a computer system, and in our computer system
we have all these different what we call beds because
you lay it down on a bed, on a bed.
You lay it down on a bed, lay it down
on a bed. Audio laboratory. Paudio laboratory, gonna mix and
show you laboratory. Alright, alright, so it is a new week.
(03:10):
We got a lot to cover. We got a lot
of stuff coming up. Now, somebody, all right, we super
Bowl week. We got a lot of commercials we can
preview that have come out already, which we can that
we can get into why they're coming out now, which
(03:32):
I get because uh, and some stories that we've we've
caught over the weekend as well. The problem I have
with some of the commercials is that we live in
a society where everything has to be what's called up
here's the word transparency. I am so tired of the
transparency word and that everything has to be so transparent
(03:53):
and then everybody has to know everything. I don't like it.
Why can't we just wait until Super Bowl Sunday and
then see the ads? Why do we have to preview them? Well?
Why I could start to think why they started releasing
Super Bowl ads earlier? And I think a lot of
people can understand and agree to it is the fact
that when you're watching Super Bowl, more likely than none,
(04:16):
you're watching it with a group of people, and those
group of people aren't like shutting up for every commercial,
So you're more likely to miss said super Bowl commercial
that cost a company a hell of a lot of
money that you and I will probably never see in
our lifetime, whatever I understand. So why not get ahead
(04:38):
of it as opposed to just get lost in the shuffle. Okay,
there's so many ways to spin things. That is spin
number one on why we get them early. Spin number
two on why we get them early is because people
feel that they are entitled to see these commercials before
they go on. They preview them. We are entitled, we're
an entitlement of a society. We are We want everything
(05:00):
to be transparent. We want to know ahead of time.
That's the other other way to say things. Then the
other one is that I think that we also prove
you another a third way to spend it. Companies leak
it because they want to get the one leg up
because you're right, they did spend a lot of money
on it, so they don't want to wait until Super
Bowl Sunday. They want to get it out like a
couple of days ahead of what's wrong with that? You
(05:22):
work hard on something and if so, it doesn't get
lost in the shuffle of all the different commercials and
and the thing that's going on on the field, and
then the Grouper goal halftime show and then what Cindy
is bringing over to UH to eat for dinner. The
pizza didn't come, you would get lost. So you would lose.
You lose many things like the new Dorito's commercial where
(05:46):
we go down nostalgia Lane with the Backstreet Boys. I
remember their song I Want It that Way where you
have music video they're all in their white suits and
they're dancing in the airplane hangar. So they Dorrito's obviously
put two and two together. They took the old Doritos
and they spiced up the old ranch Doritos to make
them hot, which you would probably hate. Could you hate spines?
(06:06):
So it's buffalo, not Buffalo, just hot just I think
more like hot sauce as opposed to buffalo. So people
are getting are you think people are getting away from
the name Buffalo and they're just tired of you using
it like it kind of like no, not really, I
mean buff Buffalo is still a type of sauce there,
but there's also hot sauce. There's you know what I mean,
(06:26):
there's it's night and day. It's not the same thing,
you know, speaking of meats and buffalo. This gets us
off track just a little bit, but did you know
that there is no such thing as Angus. Angus is
just a company you order you Sometimes you go to
restaurants and you go all have the Angus beef. But
there's no there's no real beef called angus. There's no
part of an animal called anger. It's almost deja I'm
(06:47):
having deja vu with you because this is almost the
time where you learned about talapa from from my father
in law. But that's true, right, there's no such thing
as talapia either their farm grown, they live in the
kind of thing. Yeah, so Angus is the same thing.
There's really no real ang this beef. It's the Angus
is a is a beef that's been mixed with other
beefs and then they mix it together and then they
(07:08):
called it Angus. It's a company called Angus that puts
it out. But people don't know that it's a company,
so they automatically go, oh, Angus beef. I want that,
But they don't realize that it's a company that So
it's a company. Just like when I say, go make
me a Xerox, it's not Xerox is the company and
the machine itself. There is no part of a cow
or a bull that is an angus part. You get
(07:31):
the angus beef. But nobody's thinking about that, and we're like, oh,
I want angers beef? How did that come up in conversation? Though?
Like who I found out from? But I know an
owner of a deli, a very good, distinguished, very popular,
big name deli. Uh that is a it's it's a
monster business that they deal with a lot of these meats.
(07:52):
And I got to know the owner very well. And
last week I was talking with the owner and the
owner had said, and we were laughing about all these
things that society goes and tries to buy. So he
was telling me that they are now selling x amount
of or no um there, they're selling a type of
of a meat that is supplied at some of these
burger places. Right, So did you go and going, hey, Tom,
(08:14):
can I get some angus? And then he goes, let
me tell you about angus? Well, I said, I said,
oh my god, I didn't even know you have. Oh
my god, look at this angers people were here, and
he starts laughing, and he goes, but if you buy
this one over here, it's the same thing. I go, no,
but I wouldn't say angus. And he goes. He goes,
it's not there's no angus. There's no such thing as
angus beef. He goes, it's made up, and I said, no,
(08:35):
it's not. I said, if I go to restaurants, I ordered,
but there would be more. But there would be more.
I don't know. Nobody asked these questions. But if there was,
if it was a company, he would think there was
other companies just like it, so there would be more
options than just angus. It's not like angus is cornered
the market and meat, well, which which part of the
(08:55):
cow and the bull is angus? I don't know. There
is none. There is none, there's no angers. Nobody's eating
the angus. But the things you learn here on audio
laboratory right see, there's no angus is a Scottish breed
of small beef cattle breed right there breeding it. They're
(09:18):
breeding it. There's it doesn't exist really it's like Telapia again,
but there's no angus, no real it's a mixture. But
again it's it's not a company, it's an actual animal. Yeah,
but no, but it is also a company though Angus
is also a company. But the animal they're making, the animal,
they breathe the animal to be this angus. Whatever it is,
that's all it is. And it's it's it's not it's
(09:39):
not real. I'm gonna I'll put a little question mark
next to that one. And I'm telling you, so, what
did he suck? Are you into buying that? He told
me the truth behind it? What did he well? Why
do you have signs angus beef? And he goes, well,
I'm not an idiot. He goes the whole he goes
everybody wants to buy things that said angus. So I
(09:59):
have here's this angus all right? Back to the super Bowl.
So super Bowl Sunday, as Great Tea has his non
angus beef. Uh So, Dorito's teaming up with the Backstreet Boys,
Chance the Rapper to bring their new spicy derritos to
the table by going down memory Lane with Backstreet Boys.
I want it that way and a little remix from
chance the rapper like this, you're still upset about the hangus.
(10:26):
I'm so upset. Here we go, I stopped following my nachos,
waking like a tacbo. I'm roast because I'm a hot
(10:47):
ships man. And then come on, and I'm gonna need
some toasts. I'm gonna need another outfit fly and I'm
a crime. I never wanted. Now it's hot, wow, very good,
(11:19):
so hot doritos. I know you would not eat hot
doritos because you're not a fan of spice. No, I
would not. Where do you think the fan of? Like,
why aren't you a fan of something hot? Well, my
taste buds are telling you. I'm not a fan of
any they burned. But but I have sensitive taste. But
does it go back to like you just never liked it? Well, no,
it doesn't all circle back to my fraternity. I didn't.
(11:39):
I wasn't circling back, you know, I was just saying back, Well, no,
I mean I do. I do agree that it is
the foundation of a lot of messed up things in
your life. But uh, where I didn't know. Maybe you
were a kid and like you had someone poured hot
sauce all over something and then you're you started vomiting.
And my I do like a little bit a spice.
(12:00):
I just don't need hot, hot hot. It really just depends.
I mean, maybe I might try a dorrito like that.
I might. I might give it a world and say,
all right, maybe it's pretty good. I mean I like
some of the spices. Well, let's move over to Pepsi.
Pepsi obviously they're in charge of the halftime super Bowl show.
They have their own commercial. Now, when you go to
a restaurant and you or if you ever heard someone
(12:21):
go hey, can I have a coke? Yes? And what
is the waiter normally say Pepsi is Pepsi? Okay? Okay.
So the brilliant minds of Pepsi played off that using
Steve Carell, Cardi Bi and Little John because they're kept
phrases are okay. So you tie that in and you
get this, take a coke Pepsi Oka is Pepsi? Okay?
Is Pepsi okay? Are puppies okay? Is a shooting star okay?
(12:46):
Is the laughter a small child? Okay? Pepsi's more than okay,
it's okay. What have we learned today? Pepsi PEPSI. There
you go. I gotta come up with my own catch friends,
what would you um? That's the bottom line? Stone Cold
(13:12):
from the w W E has that. He doesn't. You're
telling me that somebody's already has that the bottom line.
That's the bottom line because stone Cold said so. Yeah,
but I don't say a stone Cold said because you
take away that's that's like it's like submitting the same
the same book. The bottom line has always been my thing.
That's never I've never heard you say that in my life.
(13:32):
And that's the bottom line. When did you say when?
Outside of you just saying it, when was the last
time you said what I used to do my my podcast,
I'm sorry, not my podcast, my my fantasy football video.
I would pretend people and he would I would say,
and the character would say, and that's the bottom line,
your character. Listen, are you joking me? That's the bottom line?
Is not a greg like no, no, no, no, all right.
(13:58):
I have to come up with something else, another catch phrase.
The catch phrase would be all right, think of it
for said so the same thing. Alright. So last week,
last week you asked me about we're talking about a
SMR those the whispering. You said, yeah, I'll I can
play back the audio. We'll sit through the podcast. Your
(14:18):
exact words? Where Why don't you get some for next week?
So I, being true to this podcast, pulled something up.
We're just talking about Cardi B. Alright, let people know
that what you're about to play is going It's an
auto sensory device technique where you pretty much whisper into
a microphone and using the left and right ear is
(14:40):
supposed to stimulate different things for you. Half our audience
is gonna like this, and half our audience is not
gonna like this. All right, So you asked for it,
Greg T. Alright, So somebody just coming to the laboratory,
didn't they see the sign, the sign that sets stay
out of laboratory. It happens, you know, people just come
through the keep s thing. But shouldn't come with our
(15:01):
safety goggles on her? No, no, no hard hat either.
All right? So this is this is Cardi B, explores
SMR from w magazine. Great t. You have to sit
here and listen to this for a few seconds. Let's
see how long you can take it. Oh, right here,
it's in the right here. I feel like I'm taking
an audio test. Oh, who's kind of sexy? Actually? Oh
(15:34):
I like that about myself. M hmmmr style. Oh open
your eyes, it's weird. No, I like it now. Oh
(15:56):
oh my god, I want her now. Oh my god,
I'm so turned on. I totally want all right, we're
gonna stop that before you asked for it and deliver it.
But I didn't think that turn around. I want to
start kissing it right now. Oh my god, I gotta
start kissing it right now. Wow wowty B. So you'll
you'll look at Cardi B and a SMR in a
different way. Yeah, Now, I like that's why some adults
(16:17):
like it more than others. That hey, you know, speaking
of angus beef and when somebody when it says that
it's a grass fed yes, uh what what? What possibly
do you tell me? One? Tell me a state in
the United States of America where there is grass seven
every single day of the year. Tell me it's it
(16:39):
doesn't it's not grass from the ground. Oh no, yes, yes, yes,
the grass gets burned out, the grass gets You cannot
have things that are grass fed all year round. It
doesn't exist. It doesn't exist. The only word place to
get grass all year rounds like in Ireland, there's no grass.
You can't have grass all your I don't know, man,
(17:01):
I don't know. Uh So we're talking about commercials, but
there's nothing to do with the super Bowl. So when
I say, Matthew McConaughey, what commercial comes to mind? Cadillac Link? Yeah, Lincoln.
Uh so, so he was on Watch What Happens Live
late last week. And how many Lincoln's do you say?
(17:21):
Would you say he has and doesn't drive truck? How
many he has one big gigantic truck, he's got one? Um,
I guess sedan, like a really cool sleek sNaN. Maybe
he's got one is a sports car. I don't say three,
you'll say three. Let's go to the answer, Matthew, Randy
S wants to know if you really drive a Lincoln. Absolutely,
(17:42):
there's three in both of my driveways. Right. And by
the way, we did pay attention you arrived. Yes, I
would to. You've getten that much money? I like, all
you have to do is driving Lincoln and get paid
buttloads of money. God bring it on every day of
the week. So how many does he have? Three? Wow? Yeah,
(18:03):
we go, let's see. Let's go to Pensacola, Florida for
a little stupid news of the name is Pensacola, Florida, Right,
I could live there. We go to a parking lot
of a waffle house on Monday, woman took off her pants,
started dancing naked, and licked an employees face. See, now,
here's the thing. Police arrested the woman for lewd and
(18:23):
indecent exposure of sexual organs. Obviously now, but here's the
thing though, when you tell me that story, yes, people
that are listening are like, oh yeah, a naked person dancing.
Oh yeah, but you don't even know what this person
looks like. We have no clue what the person's name is. Well,
let's go to the story. This person, eight year old
Freedom Zobrist, was asked to leave the property for trespassing.
(18:46):
Employees say. That's when Zobris became verbally abusive and threatening.
Zobrist then walked to the middle of the parking lot
and pulled her pants down, exposing herself. Dobris then attempted
to grab an employees and when he tried to stop her,
she licked both sides of his face. Versus facing multiple
charges including lewd and indecent exposure battery and assault. Let
(19:07):
me tell you, I don't want to know what this
person looks like. I would outside of that that that
I was in high school, I was in a fight. Yeah,
and to get out of the fight as a good fight.
It was over. I forget what it was over. I
just knew I was in one point, just like I
was pinned to the ground. Oh man, you know how
I got out of it. I licked the kid. Seriously,
(19:28):
it is the best technique to get out of a situation.
But but think about it. You're you're you're fighting, and
then all of a sudden you lick someone. Yeah right,
I would like you would you? It would be such
a mental mind if to you that you would be like,
what the hell just happened to me? You're right, I
would not. I like, yeah, like if you were fighting
right now, and and we were just like going back
and forth and then right and you're looking to punch
(19:52):
me and I come in and I licked the side
of your face. Yeah right, No, I don't want that. Yeah.
Uh well, let's stick on the crazy news story. So
a group of friends, uh I wouldn't say bachelor party,
but they decided to go skiing in Utah because it
is it is this season, uh in Park Park City, Utah.
So they're all hanging out having some drinks. So it's
(20:14):
starting to escalate a little, thinking I'm gonna have some
drinks before I play it. Where do you think a
group of guys just sitting in the hot tub having
some drinks? Where do you what do you think happens? All? Right? Well,
I remember one time going on a ski trip myself
with a bunch of dudes, and uh, we had a
lot of liquor there, and one thing went to another
and before you knew it, somebody was getting into a fight.
(20:35):
Somebody's pushing somebody down. So I'm saying that it escalated
into a royal rumble inside the hot inside the hot tub.
Let's go to the audio tape from ABC four in
Utah and see what happens. An argument and North Salt
Lake turns violent after one man bites off a chunk
of another man's ear. Oh my god, boy was arrested
Tuesday and several charges, including mayhem and criminal mischief. According
(20:58):
to police, Boack and the victim and O, there's weren't
a hot tub having a good time talking about things
involving conspiracy theories and big corporations. The victim said Boyak,
who had been drinking, took issue with something at the
conversation turned physical. Police say boy been a part of
the victim's ear off. Boy I took off later turned
himself into police. The victim told police that the piece
of ear cannot be reattached and he will need to
(21:20):
have reconstructive surgery. The guy at the reporter at the
end goes out, he's wrong with people. I mean your friends,
you're all hanging out here here, you're biting somebody's ear off.
I've never been a police officer. I have a few
friends that are police officers and uh and on the force.
And when you have to categorize something as as crazy,
(21:45):
you know, it's you know, it's one of those like
how do we write this down in the book? No Year?
And then the guy he's in a hot tub with
his friends, he runs in Utah in the snow. At
what point do you go, Okay, I up, I have
to I have to return. Now, give me clothes. You
know what I always wanted I was speaking of cold.
(22:05):
I always wanted one of those like full body like
undergarments where the back end of my butt unbuttons and
then it drops down where I could take a poop
right out of my butt, like one of those like
like little house from the Prairie, old fashioned um, you
know pajama sets. You ever seen them before? The butt flap? Yeah,
I always wanted one of those. I kind of just
(22:26):
seems it just seems very hot. Yeah. Maybe I just
I always wanted to be able to, like, you know,
get up and get up from bed, go to the bathroom,
undo the butt flap, and then just like drop it
and then drop it like and then and then reattached
my buttons and go back to bed. Always wanted it
would just seem like it would take too much time,
(22:48):
you know what I mean, to to unbutton the buttons,
and then I don't want one of those man just
under the buttons in the back on the button and
then just drop it. So great. Tea wakes up up
with his flannel pajamazon. He walks off to the walks
over the bathroom, unbuttons, everything sits down and drop it.
(23:13):
Very nice. That's good. Alright, let's h let's let's talk
about some studies. So if I was to ask you,
Greg T, the average American laughs. How many times a day? Laughs? Yes,
Oh my god, it's gotta be gotta be really a
good mood. Uh laughs. The average the laughter. I don't
think over happy, don't think too sad, just the average overall.
(23:36):
I don't think we laugh that much. I really don't.
I can't remember which we really do laugh. I don't know.
Twenty times, seven times of the day, seven times, seven
times a day on average. What's the thing that makes
people laugh the most? Um farting jokes, the things kids say?
So it falls down there, So okay, okay, so we
(23:57):
got some some how many times do you sneeze during
(24:25):
a normal sneezing fit? So you sneeze how many times?
Three times? Three times? According to a new survey of
US sneeze three to four times of US sneeze one
to two times, which are weird. Here's the here are
the people we started have to take a close look at. Uh.
Seven percent sneeze at least five times. My daughter doesn't
(24:45):
seven times in a row every day the morning. Four percent.
She falls in the four percent because there's four percent
of the people that were surveyed seven times and five
percent of us sneeze at least ten times in a
sneezing fit. Yeah, it's really unbelievable. We we had first
thought it was like weird that she was doing it,
but now it's become just a regular part of her life.
I wonder, I wonder what that that like? Why? I
(25:07):
don't know, Jada wakes up in the morning, she'll and
we don't know when it happens, but it always occurs
in the morning, whether it's before breakfast or after breast.
Imagine waking up in this Yeah, yeah, that's what your
daughter sounds like. No, it's cute. That sounds like it.
(25:29):
I don't think her packing dust. I'm sorry, Tom Hanks.
Uh but yeah, so set imagine that that's just that. Yeah,
it seems a little bit too much. And then she'll wait,
so you you, and then she'll wait again. I think
it's got uh uh. Let's see. Let's move on throughout
(25:55):
the week and see what else we can cover. Oh.
So we see these on a true is all the
time where they call someone. It happens from time to time,
not all the time where they is like, hey, now
the winner, Greg te Greg teas in order to be
found why because he's he's he's at the bathroom. Drop
it like, so that actually happened at The Price is Right? Yeah?
(26:20):
Oh I saw this on The Price is Right. Tara Armstrong,
come on down? Where is she? She? He she's in
(26:43):
the bathroom. He's in the or Tara, Tara, now, nice
to see you. That is very funny. Do you never
get here? That's funny? Now funny? It hasn't. This has
happened on the show before, almost nineteen years ago with
(27:05):
Bob Barkers. Right, come on, where are you Daniel? We're
taking a show, Daniel. He is in the men's Oh no,
(27:35):
you know. Everybody's like, pull another name, pull another name.
Why can't they just edit that? If they're not doing
the show live, why can't they just edit it? I
don't know. That's a great question. But that wasn't the
only time it happened on The Prices, right, let's go,
let's go back to the first time it ever happened. Goodness,
but pressure, calm down the Prices just a moment, an emergency,
(28:12):
has an emergency? What do you mean this moment? Hard?
Did it not? Patricia has gone to the little girl's room.
A gentleman whom I assume is her husband, has rushed
out together her a page has gone after the gentleman.
(28:34):
Everyone in America is wondering how long can they wait
for Patricia Cotton, Patricia, that is so cool to play
by play alone of what was happening was worth the
clip itself. You know, the music in the background, It
really does put you in a good mood. I think
I'm gonna talk to Elvis about every time he eat
every time I walk into the studio, I would like
(28:54):
the prices right music just to play for myself, all right,
and like, here's great tea now? And then it did?
Did you there? From TV shows? You ever watch Friends?
Of course? I was a huge Friends Friends, So I
mean and now when when Friends, uh, the Friends cast
is on TV shows promoting other shows, you know, they
get asked questions. But I never heard this one before,
(29:15):
So what do you think? Matt LeBlanc, who played Joey
on Friends, took from the Friends set on his last
day shooting at on Friends the foods ball table something
to do with the foosball table. I was asked, do
you ever take anything from the show as like a souvenir?
Just like you know what, I'm just gonna take this
because it means something I took from the show's funny.
(29:36):
I took a time of cash. It's true, know you
know what I have? That was really cool, you know
how And Joey and Channel was a partably at the
foodsball table. Now has the actual ball from the table,
the foosball. I mean, it's happened in my toolbox somewhere.
(29:59):
Why it's on my to the box. I ended up
with the foodsball. And the other thing I took was,
you know the magna doodle that was on the back
of the apartment door. It always had things right now,
well it was so I clipped that at the end
and I couldn't hit the couch in the car. But
but the magna dood. It was cool because it was
one guy Paul on the on the crew that he
was the one that always drew whatever was on there.
(30:20):
That he wasn't one of the writers, he was one
of the electricians on the show. He just was happy
to be the artists that that kind of drew always
something relevant to the story that week on the thing.
So I stole it and gave it to him. So
he's got it. That's that's great. So you're partially right,
he took the foods ball. Ball. He took the foods ball.
(30:42):
That's very smart, and I brought it home. So question
is so great, Tea, last day of the Elvis Durrant Show.
What are you stealing from the show? Uh? Great question?
That's a great did you tell Elvis about that question?
That's a great question. When she asked the whole the
whole morning show, Um, last day of the show, never
returning here ever again, what one thing of nostalgia would
(31:04):
you bring home with you to keep and then eventually
putting your toolbox? Um? Wow, that's a great question. What
do we have in that room that I like? I
think you would take your stool? I do you know
I love sitting on stools. I do, But this is
(31:25):
my second stool. Now that's not even like the original stool.
It's the second stool. Um, let's see, maybe a microphone.
I mean, I guess it would still a very expensive microphone.
I mean, I I think I would. I think I
would just take the whole, the whole. Mile Blanc took
a foosball, which was probably value it at two bucks.
(31:48):
Like I want the microphone that I've used. Yeah, for sure,
you would use that so that would be what you
would see that would probably cause someone to stop you
at security on the way out. But I'm definitely walking
out here with a microph, all right. And then another
big thing that happened to out in Las Vegas, Stars
Born is uh is up for many OSCAR nominations, and uh,
(32:09):
we both agree, Like, what what's your take again? I
want to finalize. I like, I like, I liked it. Yeah, okay,
was it one of your favorite movies this year it
was up, I would I would put it in top five. Okay.
For myself, I enjoyed a Stars Born. I felt it
was too long of a movie. I thought Lady Gaga
was incredible, and I thought that it was pretty neat
(32:32):
to see how Bradley Cooper was able to teach himself
to sing and how we sung that. Well, that's so,
that's what happened In Vegas. Lady Gaga has her residency
and she invited one Bradley Cooper up on stage, unbeknownst
to the audience, to sing the popular song from A
Star Is Born, Shallow and Bradley Cooper. If you listen
at the beginning of this, I I have certain feels
(32:54):
for the way he just talks to the crowd because
he got into characters. So listen, Hello Vegas, Hell, Vegas.
(33:23):
This photo something and they went on to sing it.
And but here's the thing, here's my my, my conspiracy.
I know you you're the conspiracy guy, but give me
some conspiracy music. If you got a conspiracy on it,
well my conspiracy on this. Don't go down that road game.
(33:45):
That's how effects help I get it. I'm on one
man show. Hence laboratory. You know, audio laboratory. We need
audio for conspiracies. We need you know, you're right, you're wrong.
We need like those things, we need fartning noises, we
need those things. Well anyway we need So the oscars
(34:07):
are happening before the end of February. End of February.
Lady Gaga has been in residency for about two months now.
Uh it feels like two months, about a month and
a half. If Bradley Cooper came out at the beginning
of her her stint in Vegas, nobody would be talking,
no one would be thinking about voting. They're in the
midst of voting right now for the Oscars. So what
(34:29):
became one of the most viral clips of the week,
the him coming out on stage, him coming out and
doing you know, you know everybody's talking about it because
you want to see them do it like top top
of mind. So credit to Bradley Cooper's and Lady Gaga's
managers and agents going and publicists going, do do it
(34:52):
as much as you can everywhere. You can't do it now, right?
Do it now to go everywhere? Yeah? For sure? But
but how could it not? I mean, you're it's you
like them together. If you saw like them together, you
want to see them perform live as often as possible. Uh,
all right, so let's see if we need that right there? Uh,
(35:13):
you just did it? You say you have it? Alright?
Have you have you ever been the sound effect is born?
Have you ever been scared? First off, you hear about
the news story where a woman in Australia went to
was going to the bathroom and then she got bit
by a snake and the butt to the bathroom. Oh
did it come up through the drain? Came up through
the drain. I've heard those stories. That is true. I've heard.
I've heard these stories, but I also equate them to
(35:35):
you know, myth sometimes because it is true. But but
everybody the news jumps on it, like you must check
underneath the toilet every time. I'm not checking every time
I go to the bathroom. Problem. The thing is that
people if people don't know or when you go to
the bathroom, was this snake? Was the snake outside of
(35:57):
the toilet floor? It comes out of the came out
of the trail, just like a bad dream. The thing
is people can't realize that snakes can actually slither their
way up the dream. Let's go to the local news.
Local news in Australia, they interviewed the woman who was bit.
I felt this really sharp tap on my bottom along
with some pain. I thought, hardy, who was that? But
(36:20):
when you put your nickers and your long pants around
your ankles, it's pretty hard to go far. And to
be honest, it was like running a three legged race
without a rent. This was a mid stream a bit sure.
So if you waited for me to start going, you know.
He didn't appreciate that shower under the full moon making
all the puns there. But does imagine sitting there and
(36:41):
then Norm's going right? Would you have ever thought I
would freak out too? I mean, seeing something slither up
through the through the pipe and then you open up
the lid of the toilet and then there's this thing
there which wants to come out, and then it pops out.
I would freak out. Hey, have you ever come close
to boiling a perfect game? Me? Either ten year old
(37:01):
in New Jersey did became the second youngest player evitable
a perfect game. He's from New Jersey, Kai Struthers. He's
hoping to go pro one day. You got you gotta
love bowling to be that young and go, I'm going
to be a pro bowler. You know this is we
should get kind to go up against me in a
human bowling, so like we both have to like run
(37:23):
down the lane and throw ourselves into the pins and
see who gets he let him use a ball, Well,
let him use the ball, and then I have to
run down. But here's one of his final strikes. And
then his parents and UH and coach of course very
proud of mr guy. We brought him to the league
(37:50):
when he was four almost five years old and he's
been bowled ever since. It's just like this guy given talent, calm, cool, collective,
land back reserve him. So because of that, he doesn't
apply questions to himself the most superior attitude of old
the same Wow, four year old. Imagine if our parents
(38:13):
brought us to you know, bowling at four years old,
what we could be doing today. Oh my god, there's
so many things we could have been doing how we started.
I'm convinced if I didn't give up piano at the
age of five, yeah, I could probably could have been
very good at playing piano, and I probably could have
been doing the Super Bowl bit murder of five this
this coming weekend. Alright, give me, give me how many
give me two more piece of audio? You got it? Sir? Yes, sir?
(38:35):
Uh did we keep talking about how many pieces of
audio we should do on a podcasts? It's a it's
a it's a we comment about. Here's the thing. People
are commenting, people are listening. People are enjoying it because
they're in there in their cars. They're working out for
a couple anywhere from forty five minutes to two hours,
so they enjoy the fact that there's something that could
(38:56):
go from start to finish for their entire rocket. You
can find a good play list for people to work out.
If they're working out, what would they be listening to? Well,
you're you're you're you know, you're getting. You're the main
guy that works out. Man, We're getting. We're getting. Work it,
work it, work it. We've got we got that. H
Tracy Tracy Morgan's all over the place still making fun
(39:18):
of getting hit by a truck. I guess after you
go through what you did, Uh, you're you're allowed to.
I mean he really almost, I mean he's Uh. You
see the stuttering comedian on America's Got Talent? You watched
America's Got Talent? I do, and I didn't see this
one at all. I do. I do think that the
one group that I really liked, Uh, they didn't make
it to the finals, and I think they are ripped off. Yeah,
(39:39):
so this is this is uh Drew Lynch. He's a
stuttering comedian. So he stutters because he actually a softball
hit him in the throat a couple of years ago
and he woke up with a stutter. So he uses
that in his comedy routine. So he was back on
America's Got Talent the Champions the other night, and this
is what's his set about in VISI line. I love
(40:00):
Berberg performing. Um, you know, some people sometimes they find
my stand up to be a little a little, a
little jarring because because because I stutter, but I prefer
to think that you're you're getting the joke and and
and also the remakes. So even if you hear a joke,
that's that's that's not for you. You can be like
(40:21):
white didn't. I didn't. I didn't like the lyrics to
that one, but it had a good beat. Because if
there's not enough wrong with with with with my mouth.
I also wear um um um invisible line, the the
the invisible braces or as I like to call it,
a grill for for for white people, just wrapping on
(40:47):
on on the hood of my Prius avocado toast um.
I don't know. Uh, what I realize is is when
you lose your as a line at at at at say,
like a restaurant, and you go back, you sound like
a crazy person. Like I went back to the restaurant,
(41:09):
uh and and and and in a frenzy, I said
to the waitress. I was like, Hi, Hi, I just
ate here and I think I lost my invisive line.
She's like, I didn't see you wearing a retainer. And
I was like, well, you can't say it, it's invisible.
(41:29):
Have you have you seen it? That's great? All right? Uh,
last one I'll give I'll give you two more. No,
I said two more before, not to see this is
what a little kid does. I said, you stay for
five more minutes, and then all of a sudden it's like,
can you have five more minutes? You become the parent
here and then it becomes ten. May I introduce you
(41:50):
to great t Snoring is the worst than it's horrible.
It's so bad what you been dreaming about it that
Trish wants me to tell money about this. I am
not going to wear a stick or on my nose.
You know, well you might have to wear, so I'm
(42:11):
not doing it. I'm not doing it. Well, that's because
this is this is your problem. When the doctor says
you should do it, you go. But I found a
different way. I was reading mask on my face, hooked
up to like some kind of breather. I'm not doing
that either. So what I do now is I sprayed
my nose last night, yep, exactly, and it opened up
my sinuses. Won't right to sleep, all right, So we'll
(42:32):
we'll we'll let you go. So you can't deal with
your nose. I gotta go to the bathroom. To be honest,
that's so say so, I gotta go to the clause
button for no, I have to go to the laboratory.
There's a bucket right here. No. Could you imagine if
I did in the bucket, you would not All right,
let's let's go out on this so lego movie to
coming out. Yes it is. It's just so excited for Yes,
this is the catchy song and the song everything is awesome.
(42:55):
That was the first one. This one is, this one
gets stuck in your head. And once it's stuck in
your head, I do apologize more than that one. So
Dylan Francis T Paine and uh that girl Ta ta ta,
And again I apologize for what it is about tiping.
That's me by saying, hey day, no, let me hear,
let's work on. Thank you for listening to radio. Don't
(43:17):
blow it out. Yeah, let's here's let's come back. It
will say, get stuck. Wait, Joe, this song is gonna
get stuck inside Joe, Get stuck inside Joe, stuck in
sect inside. Oh I love it. I'm so good to
get stuck in soun get stuck inside. Put your hands on,
(43:41):
put your hands on, hands up, hands up, lest go.
Here we go, Here we go. One Time Audio Laboratory,
Audio Audio Laboratory, Carry tray, Love It, Love It Audio Laboratory,
(44:04):
Audio Labatory, Gary Craty is thanks for listening. Yes, I
love it. Now you can say goodbye. Now you can
go to the bathroom. I can't wait. I'm gotta go
HI til next week we leave you goodbye. Thank you
for listening. I heard radio. My name is Garrett, running
out the door to head to the bathroom right now.
(44:24):
Great tea, and thank you for listening. As always,
Oh, we are gonna do the laboratory show. Got that audio?
Gonna play it, You're gonna listen to it? We got it?
How wow? What is with you? Why is so loud?
It's blasting? Look where the levels arts? Yes? Levels levels um?
(00:23):
Audio laboratory, audio laboratory. Get ready audio No? I hate this,
I hate this one. Maybe he could be could be
audio laboratory audio like this audio laboratory, audio laboratory. One
(00:47):
at all. Welcome, welcome to the show. We are the
laboratory show. Audio Laboratory, Audio laboratory. Are you going with
this one? Oh? Yeah, like we got Garrett Audio laboratory,
audio laboratory. All right, well, welcome to the audio lab.
(01:12):
My name is Garrett. That's how we start show. Wants
the freestyle yet again? That is Greg t himself Audio
lab or audio laboratory. You could go either or but
how do you want to coin it? Well, it's it's
tomato tomato at the end of the day. Labish Labish
short for laboratory. So you could you could go either way. Well,
(01:33):
if you say you got to go to the laboratory,
sometimes that means you have to go to the restroom.
Well that's if you're like a pampas a whole. Well,
you know, I could see people trying to make fun
of our podcast and saying, oh, yeah, that's that's the
audio restroom that they do. It's fine, So maybe we
should just call audio lamb. I'm okay with it. What
do you like? I like the laboratory. See, but be
careful because I'm telling you they're gonna say it's the
audio bathroom. It's fine, you know if they think that,
(01:55):
they think that that's what that everybody opinions are like,
are like, everyone has a bathroom? Or do we want
to be associated with podcasts with that name already? Uh,
there's another one out there. Get out of here, and
we're audio laboratory. Well we're better, of course, obviously. But
they were smarter to not be the laboratory saying news
to the bathroom, right, or they were smart to get
(02:18):
it done before we did. Go on here. They hit
that be the intro game. That was a good time.
A bitepetie beat, wasn't this one? Beatie Beats? That's another
one round Brown? I like this. See what we got here.
(02:45):
We've got a computer system, and in our computer system
we have all these different what we call beds because
you lay it down on a bed, on a bed.
You lay it down on a bed, lay it down
on a bed. Audio laboratory. Paudio laboratory, gonna mix and
show you laboratory. Alright, alright, so it is a new week.
(03:10):
We got a lot to cover. We got a lot
of stuff coming up. Now, somebody, all right, we super
Bowl week. We got a lot of commercials we can
preview that have come out already, which we can that
we can get into why they're coming out now, which
(03:32):
I get because uh, and some stories that we've we've
caught over the weekend as well. The problem I have
with some of the commercials is that we live in
a society where everything has to be what's called up
here's the word transparency. I am so tired of the
transparency word and that everything has to be so transparent
(03:53):
and then everybody has to know everything. I don't like it.
Why can't we just wait until Super Bowl Sunday and
then see the ads? Why do we have to preview them? Well?
Why I could start to think why they started releasing
Super Bowl ads earlier? And I think a lot of
people can understand and agree to it is the fact
that when you're watching Super Bowl, more likely than none,
(04:16):
you're watching it with a group of people, and those
group of people aren't like shutting up for every commercial,
So you're more likely to miss said super Bowl commercial
that cost a company a hell of a lot of
money that you and I will probably never see in
our lifetime, whatever I understand. So why not get ahead
(04:38):
of it as opposed to just get lost in the shuffle. Okay,
there's so many ways to spin things. That is spin
number one on why we get them early. Spin number
two on why we get them early is because people
feel that they are entitled to see these commercials before
they go on. They preview them. We are entitled, we're
an entitlement of a society. We are We want everything
(05:00):
to be transparent. We want to know ahead of time.
That's the other other way to say things. Then the
other one is that I think that we also prove
you another a third way to spend it. Companies leak
it because they want to get the one leg up
because you're right, they did spend a lot of money
on it, so they don't want to wait until Super
Bowl Sunday. They want to get it out like a
couple of days ahead of what's wrong with that? You
(05:22):
work hard on something and if so, it doesn't get
lost in the shuffle of all the different commercials and
and the thing that's going on on the field, and
then the Grouper goal halftime show and then what Cindy
is bringing over to UH to eat for dinner. The
pizza didn't come, you would get lost. So you would lose.
You lose many things like the new Dorito's commercial where
(05:46):
we go down nostalgia Lane with the Backstreet Boys. I
remember their song I Want It that Way where you
have music video they're all in their white suits and
they're dancing in the airplane hangar. So they Dorrito's obviously
put two and two together. They took the old Doritos
and they spiced up the old ranch Doritos to make
them hot, which you would probably hate. Could you hate spines?
(06:06):
So it's buffalo, not Buffalo, just hot just I think
more like hot sauce as opposed to buffalo. So people
are getting are you think people are getting away from
the name Buffalo and they're just tired of you using
it like it kind of like no, not really, I
mean buff Buffalo is still a type of sauce there,
but there's also hot sauce. There's you know what I mean,
(06:26):
there's it's night and day. It's not the same thing,
you know, speaking of meats and buffalo. This gets us
off track just a little bit, but did you know
that there is no such thing as Angus. Angus is
just a company you order you Sometimes you go to
restaurants and you go all have the Angus beef. But
there's no there's no real beef called angus. There's no
part of an animal called anger. It's almost deja I'm
(06:47):
having deja vu with you because this is almost the
time where you learned about talapa from from my father
in law. But that's true, right, there's no such thing
as talapia either their farm grown, they live in the
kind of thing. Yeah, so Angus is the same thing.
There's really no real ang this beef. It's the Angus
is a is a beef that's been mixed with other
beefs and then they mix it together and then they
(07:08):
called it Angus. It's a company called Angus that puts
it out. But people don't know that it's a company,
so they automatically go, oh, Angus beef. I want that,
But they don't realize that it's a company that So
it's a company. Just like when I say, go make
me a Xerox, it's not Xerox is the company and
the machine itself. There is no part of a cow
or a bull that is an angus part. You get
(07:31):
the angus beef. But nobody's thinking about that, and we're like, oh,
I want angers beef? How did that come up in conversation? Though?
Like who I found out from? But I know an
owner of a deli, a very good, distinguished, very popular,
big name deli. Uh that is a it's it's a
monster business that they deal with a lot of these meats.
(07:52):
And I got to know the owner very well. And
last week I was talking with the owner and the
owner had said, and we were laughing about all these
things that society goes and tries to buy. So he
was telling me that they are now selling x amount
of or no um there, they're selling a type of
of a meat that is supplied at some of these
burger places. Right, So did you go and going, hey, Tom,
(08:14):
can I get some angus? And then he goes, let
me tell you about angus? Well, I said, I said,
oh my god, I didn't even know you have. Oh
my god, look at this angers people were here, and
he starts laughing, and he goes, but if you buy
this one over here, it's the same thing. I go, no,
but I wouldn't say angus. And he goes. He goes,
it's not there's no angus. There's no such thing as
angus beef. He goes, it's made up, and I said, no,
(08:35):
it's not. I said, if I go to restaurants, I ordered,
but there would be more. But there would be more.
I don't know. Nobody asked these questions. But if there was,
if it was a company, he would think there was
other companies just like it, so there would be more
options than just angus. It's not like angus is cornered
the market and meat, well, which which part of the
(08:55):
cow and the bull is angus? I don't know. There
is none. There is none, there's no angers. Nobody's eating
the angus. But the things you learn here on audio
laboratory right see, there's no angus is a Scottish breed
of small beef cattle breed right there breeding it. They're
(09:18):
breeding it. There's it doesn't exist really it's like Telapia again,
but there's no angus, no real it's a mixture. But
again it's it's not a company, it's an actual animal. Yeah,
but no, but it is also a company though Angus
is also a company. But the animal they're making, the animal,
they breathe the animal to be this angus. Whatever it is,
that's all it is. And it's it's it's not it's
(09:39):
not real. I'm gonna I'll put a little question mark
next to that one. And I'm telling you, so, what
did he suck? Are you into buying that? He told
me the truth behind it? What did he well? Why
do you have signs angus beef? And he goes, well,
I'm not an idiot. He goes the whole he goes
everybody wants to buy things that said angus. So I
(09:59):
have here's this angus all right? Back to the super Bowl.
So super Bowl Sunday, as Great Tea has his non
angus beef. Uh So, Dorito's teaming up with the Backstreet Boys,
Chance the Rapper to bring their new spicy derritos to
the table by going down memory Lane with Backstreet Boys.
I want it that way and a little remix from
chance the rapper like this, you're still upset about the hangus.
(10:26):
I'm so upset. Here we go, I stopped following my nachos,
waking like a tacbo. I'm roast because I'm a hot
(10:47):
ships man. And then come on, and I'm gonna need
some toasts. I'm gonna need another outfit fly and I'm
a crime. I never wanted. Now it's hot, wow, very good,
(11:19):
so hot doritos. I know you would not eat hot
doritos because you're not a fan of spice. No, I
would not. Where do you think the fan of? Like,
why aren't you a fan of something hot? Well, my
taste buds are telling you. I'm not a fan of
any they burned. But but I have sensitive taste. But
does it go back to like you just never liked it? Well, no,
it doesn't all circle back to my fraternity. I didn't.
(11:39):
I wasn't circling back, you know, I was just saying back, Well, no,
I mean I do. I do agree that it is
the foundation of a lot of messed up things in
your life. But uh, where I didn't know. Maybe you
were a kid and like you had someone poured hot
sauce all over something and then you're you started vomiting.
And my I do like a little bit a spice.
(12:00):
I just don't need hot, hot hot. It really just depends.
I mean, maybe I might try a dorrito like that.
I might. I might give it a world and say,
all right, maybe it's pretty good. I mean I like
some of the spices. Well, let's move over to Pepsi.
Pepsi obviously they're in charge of the halftime super Bowl show.
They have their own commercial. Now, when you go to
a restaurant and you or if you ever heard someone
(12:21):
go hey, can I have a coke? Yes? And what
is the waiter normally say Pepsi is Pepsi? Okay? Okay.
So the brilliant minds of Pepsi played off that using
Steve Carell, Cardi Bi and Little John because they're kept
phrases are okay. So you tie that in and you
get this, take a coke Pepsi Oka is Pepsi? Okay?
Is Pepsi okay? Are puppies okay? Is a shooting star okay?
(12:46):
Is the laughter a small child? Okay? Pepsi's more than okay,
it's okay. What have we learned today? Pepsi PEPSI. There
you go. I gotta come up with my own catch friends,
what would you um? That's the bottom line? Stone Cold
(13:12):
from the w W E has that. He doesn't. You're
telling me that somebody's already has that the bottom line.
That's the bottom line because stone Cold said so. Yeah,
but I don't say a stone Cold said because you
take away that's that's like it's like submitting the same
the same book. The bottom line has always been my thing.
That's never I've never heard you say that in my life.
(13:32):
And that's the bottom line. When did you say when?
Outside of you just saying it, when was the last
time you said what I used to do my my podcast,
I'm sorry, not my podcast, my my fantasy football video.
I would pretend people and he would I would say,
and the character would say, and that's the bottom line,
your character. Listen, are you joking me? That's the bottom line?
Is not a greg like no, no, no, no, all right.
(13:58):
I have to come up with something else, another catch phrase.
The catch phrase would be all right, think of it
for said so the same thing. Alright. So last week,
last week you asked me about we're talking about a
SMR those the whispering. You said, yeah, I'll I can
play back the audio. We'll sit through the podcast. Your
(14:18):
exact words? Where Why don't you get some for next week?
So I, being true to this podcast, pulled something up.
We're just talking about Cardi B. Alright, let people know
that what you're about to play is going It's an
auto sensory device technique where you pretty much whisper into
a microphone and using the left and right ear is
(14:40):
supposed to stimulate different things for you. Half our audience
is gonna like this, and half our audience is not
gonna like this. All right, So you asked for it,
Greg T. Alright, So somebody just coming to the laboratory,
didn't they see the sign, the sign that sets stay
out of laboratory. It happens, you know, people just come
through the keep s thing. But shouldn't come with our
(15:01):
safety goggles on her? No, no, no hard hat either.
All right? So this is this is Cardi B, explores
SMR from w magazine. Great t. You have to sit
here and listen to this for a few seconds. Let's
see how long you can take it. Oh, right here,
it's in the right here. I feel like I'm taking
an audio test. Oh, who's kind of sexy? Actually? Oh
(15:34):
I like that about myself. M hmmmr style. Oh open
your eyes, it's weird. No, I like it now. Oh
(15:56):
oh my god, I want her now. Oh my god,
I'm so turned on. I totally want all right, we're
gonna stop that before you asked for it and deliver it.
But I didn't think that turn around. I want to
start kissing it right now. Oh my god, I gotta
start kissing it right now. Wow wowty B. So you'll
you'll look at Cardi B and a SMR in a
different way. Yeah, Now, I like that's why some adults
(16:17):
like it more than others. That hey, you know, speaking
of angus beef and when somebody when it says that
it's a grass fed yes, uh what what? What possibly
do you tell me? One? Tell me a state in
the United States of America where there is grass seven
every single day of the year. Tell me it's it
(16:39):
doesn't it's not grass from the ground. Oh no, yes, yes, yes,
the grass gets burned out, the grass gets You cannot
have things that are grass fed all year round. It
doesn't exist. It doesn't exist. The only word place to
get grass all year rounds like in Ireland, there's no grass.
You can't have grass all your I don't know, man,
(17:01):
I don't know. Uh So we're talking about commercials, but
there's nothing to do with the super Bowl. So when
I say, Matthew McConaughey, what commercial comes to mind? Cadillac Link? Yeah, Lincoln.
Uh so, so he was on Watch What Happens Live
late last week. And how many Lincoln's do you say?
(17:21):
Would you say he has and doesn't drive truck? How
many he has one big gigantic truck, he's got one? Um,
I guess sedan, like a really cool sleek sNaN. Maybe
he's got one is a sports car. I don't say three,
you'll say three. Let's go to the answer, Matthew, Randy
S wants to know if you really drive a Lincoln. Absolutely,
(17:42):
there's three in both of my driveways. Right. And by
the way, we did pay attention you arrived. Yes, I
would to. You've getten that much money? I like, all
you have to do is driving Lincoln and get paid
buttloads of money. God bring it on every day of
the week. So how many does he have? Three? Wow? Yeah,
(18:03):
we go, let's see. Let's go to Pensacola, Florida for
a little stupid news of the name is Pensacola, Florida, Right,
I could live there. We go to a parking lot
of a waffle house on Monday, woman took off her pants,
started dancing naked, and licked an employees face. See, now,
here's the thing. Police arrested the woman for lewd and
(18:23):
indecent exposure of sexual organs. Obviously now, but here's the
thing though, when you tell me that story, yes, people
that are listening are like, oh yeah, a naked person dancing.
Oh yeah, but you don't even know what this person
looks like. We have no clue what the person's name is. Well,
let's go to the story. This person, eight year old
Freedom Zobrist, was asked to leave the property for trespassing.
(18:46):
Employees say. That's when Zobris became verbally abusive and threatening.
Zobrist then walked to the middle of the parking lot
and pulled her pants down, exposing herself. Dobris then attempted
to grab an employees and when he tried to stop her,
she licked both sides of his face. Versus facing multiple
charges including lewd and indecent exposure battery and assault. Let
(19:07):
me tell you, I don't want to know what this
person looks like. I would outside of that that that
I was in high school, I was in a fight. Yeah,
and to get out of the fight as a good fight.
It was over. I forget what it was over. I
just knew I was in one point, just like I
was pinned to the ground. Oh man, you know how
I got out of it. I licked the kid. Seriously,
(19:28):
it is the best technique to get out of a situation.
But but think about it. You're you're you're fighting, and
then all of a sudden you lick someone. Yeah right,
I would like you would you? It would be such
a mental mind if to you that you would be like,
what the hell just happened to me? You're right, I
would not. I like, yeah, like if you were fighting
right now, and and we were just like going back
and forth and then right and you're looking to punch
(19:52):
me and I come in and I licked the side
of your face. Yeah right, No, I don't want that. Yeah.
Uh well, let's stick on the crazy news story. So
a group of friends, uh I wouldn't say bachelor party,
but they decided to go skiing in Utah because it
is it is this season, uh in Park Park City, Utah.
So they're all hanging out having some drinks. So it's
(20:14):
starting to escalate a little, thinking I'm gonna have some
drinks before I play it. Where do you think a
group of guys just sitting in the hot tub having
some drinks? Where do you what do you think happens? All? Right? Well,
I remember one time going on a ski trip myself
with a bunch of dudes, and uh, we had a
lot of liquor there, and one thing went to another
and before you knew it, somebody was getting into a fight.
(20:35):
Somebody's pushing somebody down. So I'm saying that it escalated
into a royal rumble inside the hot inside the hot tub.
Let's go to the audio tape from ABC four in
Utah and see what happens. An argument and North Salt
Lake turns violent after one man bites off a chunk
of another man's ear. Oh my god, boy was arrested
Tuesday and several charges, including mayhem and criminal mischief. According
(20:58):
to police, Boack and the victim and O, there's weren't
a hot tub having a good time talking about things
involving conspiracy theories and big corporations. The victim said Boyak,
who had been drinking, took issue with something at the
conversation turned physical. Police say boy been a part of
the victim's ear off. Boy I took off later turned
himself into police. The victim told police that the piece
of ear cannot be reattached and he will need to
(21:20):
have reconstructive surgery. The guy at the reporter at the
end goes out, he's wrong with people. I mean your friends,
you're all hanging out here here, you're biting somebody's ear off.
I've never been a police officer. I have a few
friends that are police officers and uh and on the force.
And when you have to categorize something as as crazy,
(21:45):
you know, it's you know, it's one of those like
how do we write this down in the book? No Year?
And then the guy he's in a hot tub with
his friends, he runs in Utah in the snow. At
what point do you go, Okay, I up, I have
to I have to return. Now, give me clothes. You
know what I always wanted I was speaking of cold.
(22:05):
I always wanted one of those like full body like
undergarments where the back end of my butt unbuttons and
then it drops down where I could take a poop
right out of my butt, like one of those like
like little house from the Prairie, old fashioned um, you
know pajama sets. You ever seen them before? The butt flap? Yeah,
I always wanted one of those. I kind of just
(22:26):
seems it just seems very hot. Yeah. Maybe I just
I always wanted to be able to, like, you know,
get up and get up from bed, go to the bathroom,
undo the butt flap, and then just like drop it
and then drop it like and then and then reattached
my buttons and go back to bed. Always wanted it
would just seem like it would take too much time,
(22:48):
you know what I mean, to to unbutton the buttons,
and then I don't want one of those man just
under the buttons in the back on the button and
then just drop it. So great. Tea wakes up up
with his flannel pajamazon. He walks off to the walks
over the bathroom, unbuttons, everything sits down and drop it.
(23:13):
Very nice. That's good. Alright, let's h let's let's talk
about some studies. So if I was to ask you,
Greg T, the average American laughs. How many times a day? Laughs? Yes,
Oh my god, it's gotta be gotta be really a
good mood. Uh laughs. The average the laughter. I don't
think over happy, don't think too sad, just the average overall.
(23:36):
I don't think we laugh that much. I really don't.
I can't remember which we really do laugh. I don't know.
Twenty times, seven times of the day, seven times, seven
times a day on average. What's the thing that makes
people laugh the most? Um farting jokes, the things kids say?
So it falls down there, So okay, okay, so we
(23:57):
got some some how many times do you sneeze during
(24:25):
a normal sneezing fit? So you sneeze how many times?
Three times? Three times? According to a new survey of
US sneeze three to four times of US sneeze one
to two times, which are weird. Here's the here are
the people we started have to take a close look at. Uh.
Seven percent sneeze at least five times. My daughter doesn't
(24:45):
seven times in a row every day the morning. Four percent.
She falls in the four percent because there's four percent
of the people that were surveyed seven times and five
percent of us sneeze at least ten times in a
sneezing fit. Yeah, it's really unbelievable. We we had first
thought it was like weird that she was doing it,
but now it's become just a regular part of her life.
I wonder, I wonder what that that like? Why? I
(25:07):
don't know, Jada wakes up in the morning, she'll and
we don't know when it happens, but it always occurs
in the morning, whether it's before breakfast or after breast.
Imagine waking up in this Yeah, yeah, that's what your
daughter sounds like. No, it's cute. That sounds like it.
(25:29):
I don't think her packing dust. I'm sorry, Tom Hanks.
Uh but yeah, so set imagine that that's just that. Yeah,
it seems a little bit too much. And then she'll wait,
so you you, and then she'll wait again. I think
it's got uh uh. Let's see. Let's move on throughout
(25:55):
the week and see what else we can cover. Oh.
So we see these on a true is all the
time where they call someone. It happens from time to time,
not all the time where they is like, hey, now
the winner, Greg te Greg teas in order to be
found why because he's he's he's at the bathroom. Drop
it like, so that actually happened at The Price is Right? Yeah?
(26:20):
Oh I saw this on The Price is Right. Tara Armstrong,
come on down? Where is she? She? He she's in
(26:43):
the bathroom. He's in the or Tara, Tara, now, nice
to see you. That is very funny. Do you never
get here? That's funny? Now funny? It hasn't. This has
happened on the show before, almost nineteen years ago with
(27:05):
Bob Barkers. Right, come on, where are you Daniel? We're
taking a show, Daniel. He is in the men's Oh no,
(27:35):
you know. Everybody's like, pull another name, pull another name.
Why can't they just edit that? If they're not doing
the show live, why can't they just edit it? I
don't know. That's a great question. But that wasn't the
only time it happened on The Prices, right, let's go,
let's go back to the first time it ever happened. Goodness,
but pressure, calm down the Prices just a moment, an emergency,
(28:12):
has an emergency? What do you mean this moment? Hard?
Did it not? Patricia has gone to the little girl's room.
A gentleman whom I assume is her husband, has rushed
out together her a page has gone after the gentleman.
(28:34):
Everyone in America is wondering how long can they wait
for Patricia Cotton, Patricia, that is so cool to play
by play alone of what was happening was worth the
clip itself. You know, the music in the background, It
really does put you in a good mood. I think
I'm gonna talk to Elvis about every time he eat
every time I walk into the studio, I would like
(28:54):
the prices right music just to play for myself, all right,
and like, here's great tea now? And then it did?
Did you there? From TV shows? You ever watch Friends?
Of course? I was a huge Friends Friends, So I
mean and now when when Friends, uh, the Friends cast
is on TV shows promoting other shows, you know, they
get asked questions. But I never heard this one before,
(29:15):
So what do you think? Matt LeBlanc, who played Joey
on Friends, took from the Friends set on his last
day shooting at on Friends the foods ball table something
to do with the foosball table. I was asked, do
you ever take anything from the show as like a souvenir?
Just like you know what, I'm just gonna take this
because it means something I took from the show's funny.
(29:36):
I took a time of cash. It's true, know you
know what I have? That was really cool, you know
how And Joey and Channel was a partably at the
foodsball table. Now has the actual ball from the table,
the foosball. I mean, it's happened in my toolbox somewhere.
(29:59):
Why it's on my to the box. I ended up
with the foodsball. And the other thing I took was,
you know the magna doodle that was on the back
of the apartment door. It always had things right now,
well it was so I clipped that at the end
and I couldn't hit the couch in the car. But
but the magna dood. It was cool because it was
one guy Paul on the on the crew that he
was the one that always drew whatever was on there.
(30:20):
That he wasn't one of the writers, he was one
of the electricians on the show. He just was happy
to be the artists that that kind of drew always
something relevant to the story that week on the thing.
So I stole it and gave it to him. So
he's got it. That's that's great. So you're partially right,
he took the foods ball. Ball. He took the foods ball.
(30:42):
That's very smart, and I brought it home. So question
is so great, Tea, last day of the Elvis Durrant Show.
What are you stealing from the show? Uh? Great question?
That's a great did you tell Elvis about that question?
That's a great question. When she asked the whole the
whole morning show, Um, last day of the show, never
returning here ever again, what one thing of nostalgia would
(31:04):
you bring home with you to keep and then eventually
putting your toolbox? Um? Wow, that's a great question. What
do we have in that room that I like? I
think you would take your stool? I do you know
I love sitting on stools. I do, But this is
(31:25):
my second stool. Now that's not even like the original stool.
It's the second stool. Um, let's see, maybe a microphone.
I mean, I guess it would still a very expensive microphone.
I mean, I I think I would. I think I
would just take the whole, the whole. Mile Blanc took
a foosball, which was probably value it at two bucks.
(31:48):
Like I want the microphone that I've used. Yeah, for sure,
you would use that so that would be what you
would see that would probably cause someone to stop you
at security on the way out. But I'm definitely walking
out here with a microph, all right. And then another
big thing that happened to out in Las Vegas, Stars
Born is uh is up for many OSCAR nominations, and uh,
(32:09):
we both agree, Like, what what's your take again? I
want to finalize. I like, I like, I liked it. Yeah, okay,
was it one of your favorite movies this year it
was up, I would I would put it in top five. Okay.
For myself, I enjoyed a Stars Born. I felt it
was too long of a movie. I thought Lady Gaga
was incredible, and I thought that it was pretty neat
(32:32):
to see how Bradley Cooper was able to teach himself
to sing and how we sung that. Well, that's so,
that's what happened In Vegas. Lady Gaga has her residency
and she invited one Bradley Cooper up on stage, unbeknownst
to the audience, to sing the popular song from A
Star Is Born, Shallow and Bradley Cooper. If you listen
at the beginning of this, I I have certain feels
(32:54):
for the way he just talks to the crowd because
he got into characters. So listen, Hello Vegas, Hell, Vegas.
(33:23):
This photo something and they went on to sing it.
And but here's the thing, here's my my, my conspiracy.
I know you you're the conspiracy guy, but give me
some conspiracy music. If you got a conspiracy on it,
well my conspiracy on this. Don't go down that road game.
(33:45):
That's how effects help I get it. I'm on one
man show. Hence laboratory. You know, audio laboratory. We need
audio for conspiracies. We need you know, you're right, you're wrong.
We need like those things, we need fartning noises, we
need those things. Well anyway we need So the oscars
(34:07):
are happening before the end of February. End of February.
Lady Gaga has been in residency for about two months now.
Uh it feels like two months, about a month and
a half. If Bradley Cooper came out at the beginning
of her her stint in Vegas, nobody would be talking,
no one would be thinking about voting. They're in the
midst of voting right now for the Oscars. So what
(34:29):
became one of the most viral clips of the week,
the him coming out on stage, him coming out and
doing you know, you know everybody's talking about it because
you want to see them do it like top top
of mind. So credit to Bradley Cooper's and Lady Gaga's
managers and agents going and publicists going, do do it
(34:52):
as much as you can everywhere. You can't do it now, right?
Do it now to go everywhere? Yeah? For sure? But
but how could it not? I mean, you're it's you
like them together. If you saw like them together, you
want to see them perform live as often as possible. Uh,
all right, so let's see if we need that right there? Uh,
(35:13):
you just did it? You say you have it? Alright?
Have you have you ever been the sound effect is born?
Have you ever been scared? First off, you hear about
the news story where a woman in Australia went to
was going to the bathroom and then she got bit
by a snake and the butt to the bathroom. Oh
did it come up through the drain? Came up through
the drain. I've heard those stories. That is true. I've heard.
I've heard these stories, but I also equate them to
(35:35):
you know, myth sometimes because it is true. But but
everybody the news jumps on it, like you must check
underneath the toilet every time. I'm not checking every time
I go to the bathroom. Problem. The thing is that
people if people don't know or when you go to
the bathroom, was this snake? Was the snake outside of
(35:57):
the toilet floor? It comes out of the came out
of the trail, just like a bad dream. The thing
is people can't realize that snakes can actually slither their
way up the dream. Let's go to the local news.
Local news in Australia, they interviewed the woman who was bit.
I felt this really sharp tap on my bottom along
with some pain. I thought, hardy, who was that? But
(36:20):
when you put your nickers and your long pants around
your ankles, it's pretty hard to go far. And to
be honest, it was like running a three legged race
without a rent. This was a mid stream a bit sure.
So if you waited for me to start going, you know.
He didn't appreciate that shower under the full moon making
all the puns there. But does imagine sitting there and
(36:41):
then Norm's going right? Would you have ever thought I
would freak out too? I mean, seeing something slither up
through the through the pipe and then you open up
the lid of the toilet and then there's this thing
there which wants to come out, and then it pops out.
I would freak out. Hey, have you ever come close
to boiling a perfect game? Me? Either ten year old
(37:01):
in New Jersey did became the second youngest player evitable
a perfect game. He's from New Jersey, Kai Struthers. He's
hoping to go pro one day. You got you gotta
love bowling to be that young and go, I'm going
to be a pro bowler. You know this is we
should get kind to go up against me in a
human bowling, so like we both have to like run
(37:23):
down the lane and throw ourselves into the pins and
see who gets he let him use a ball, Well,
let him use the ball, and then I have to
run down. But here's one of his final strikes. And
then his parents and UH and coach of course very
proud of mr guy. We brought him to the league
(37:50):
when he was four almost five years old and he's
been bowled ever since. It's just like this guy given talent, calm, cool, collective,
land back reserve him. So because of that, he doesn't
apply questions to himself the most superior attitude of old
the same Wow, four year old. Imagine if our parents
(38:13):
brought us to you know, bowling at four years old,
what we could be doing today. Oh my god, there's
so many things we could have been doing how we started.
I'm convinced if I didn't give up piano at the
age of five, yeah, I could probably could have been
very good at playing piano, and I probably could have
been doing the Super Bowl bit murder of five this
this coming weekend. Alright, give me, give me how many
give me two more piece of audio? You got it? Sir? Yes, sir?
(38:35):
Uh did we keep talking about how many pieces of
audio we should do on a podcasts? It's a it's
a it's a we comment about. Here's the thing. People
are commenting, people are listening. People are enjoying it because
they're in there in their cars. They're working out for
a couple anywhere from forty five minutes to two hours,
so they enjoy the fact that there's something that could
(38:56):
go from start to finish for their entire rocket. You
can find a good play list for people to work out.
If they're working out, what would they be listening to? Well,
you're you're you're you know, you're getting. You're the main
guy that works out. Man, We're getting. We're getting. Work it,
work it, work it. We've got we got that. H
Tracy Tracy Morgan's all over the place still making fun
(39:18):
of getting hit by a truck. I guess after you
go through what you did, Uh, you're you're allowed to.
I mean he really almost, I mean he's Uh. You
see the stuttering comedian on America's Got Talent? You watched
America's Got Talent? I do, and I didn't see this
one at all. I do. I do think that the
one group that I really liked, Uh, they didn't make
it to the finals, and I think they are ripped off. Yeah,
(39:39):
so this is this is uh Drew Lynch. He's a
stuttering comedian. So he stutters because he actually a softball
hit him in the throat a couple of years ago
and he woke up with a stutter. So he uses
that in his comedy routine. So he was back on
America's Got Talent the Champions the other night, and this
is what's his set about in VISI line. I love
(40:00):
Berberg performing. Um, you know, some people sometimes they find
my stand up to be a little a little, a
little jarring because because because I stutter, but I prefer
to think that you're you're getting the joke and and
and also the remakes. So even if you hear a joke,
that's that's that's not for you. You can be like
(40:21):
white didn't. I didn't. I didn't like the lyrics to
that one, but it had a good beat. Because if
there's not enough wrong with with with with my mouth.
I also wear um um um invisible line, the the
the invisible braces or as I like to call it,
a grill for for for white people, just wrapping on
(40:47):
on on the hood of my Prius avocado toast um.
I don't know. Uh, what I realize is is when
you lose your as a line at at at at say,
like a restaurant, and you go back, you sound like
a crazy person. Like I went back to the restaurant,
(41:09):
uh and and and and in a frenzy, I said
to the waitress. I was like, Hi, Hi, I just
ate here and I think I lost my invisive line.
She's like, I didn't see you wearing a retainer. And
I was like, well, you can't say it, it's invisible.
(41:29):
Have you have you seen it? That's great? All right? Uh,
last one I'll give I'll give you two more. No,
I said two more before, not to see this is
what a little kid does. I said, you stay for
five more minutes, and then all of a sudden it's like,
can you have five more minutes? You become the parent
here and then it becomes ten. May I introduce you
(41:50):
to great t Snoring is the worst than it's horrible.
It's so bad what you been dreaming about it that
Trish wants me to tell money about this. I am
not going to wear a stick or on my nose.
You know, well you might have to wear, so I'm
(42:11):
not doing it. I'm not doing it. Well, that's because
this is this is your problem. When the doctor says
you should do it, you go. But I found a
different way. I was reading mask on my face, hooked
up to like some kind of breather. I'm not doing
that either. So what I do now is I sprayed
my nose last night, yep, exactly, and it opened up
my sinuses. Won't right to sleep, all right, So we'll
(42:32):
we'll we'll let you go. So you can't deal with
your nose. I gotta go to the bathroom. To be honest,
that's so say so, I gotta go to the clause
button for no, I have to go to the laboratory.
There's a bucket right here. No. Could you imagine if
I did in the bucket, you would not All right,
let's let's go out on this so lego movie to
coming out. Yes it is. It's just so excited for Yes,
this is the catchy song and the song everything is awesome.
(42:55):
That was the first one. This one is, this one
gets stuck in your head. And once it's stuck in
your head, I do apologize more than that one. So
Dylan Francis T Paine and uh that girl Ta ta ta,
And again I apologize for what it is about tiping.
That's me by saying, hey day, no, let me hear,
let's work on. Thank you for listening to radio. Don't
(43:17):
blow it out. Yeah, let's here's let's come back. It
will say, get stuck. Wait, Joe, this song is gonna
get stuck inside Joe, Get stuck inside Joe, stuck in
sect inside. Oh I love it. I'm so good to
get stuck in soun get stuck inside. Put your hands on,
(43:41):
put your hands on, hands up, hands up, lest go.
Here we go, Here we go. One Time Audio Laboratory,
Audio Audio Laboratory, Carry tray, Love It, Love It Audio Laboratory,
(44:04):
Audio Labatory, Gary Craty is thanks for listening. Yes, I
love it. Now you can say goodbye. Now you can
go to the bathroom. I can't wait. I'm gotta go
HI til next week we leave you goodbye. Thank you
for listening. I heard radio. My name is Garrett, running
out the door to head to the bathroom right now.
(44:24):
Great tea, and thank you for listening. As always,
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