A new year is a prime opportunity for self-discovery - and one Australian author has written a book designed to get that process started.
Start with Values: How to Build a Life with Meaning and Purpose encourages readers to identify their core values and utilise them to build a fulfilling life.
Bradley Hook says identifying - and being clear - about your values is the first step towards reducing anxiety and stress about life's challenges.
"When we're clear about our values, we can weave a web of habits and we can align our behaviours with what matters most to us. And in my experience and in my research, that brings us a sense of fulfilment."
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
You're listening to the Sunday Session podcast with Francesca Rudkin
from News talks'b Sava.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I was going to ask you right now, what are
your core values? Could you tell me how confident are
you that you could clearly articulate what it is and
what isn't important in your life. I reckon it might
be a slightly harder task than we all think, but
my next guest is here to tell us just how
important those values are. In fact, they might just be
the starting point some of us are looking for. Bradley
(00:35):
Hook is a speaker, writer, and entrepreneur. He's the founder
of the Values Institution and a global partner of the
Resilience Institute. His new book is Start with Values, How
to Build a Life with Meaning and Purpose. And Bradley
Hook is with me now.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Good morning Bradley, Good morning Francesca Hey.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I was wondering if we could start by talking about
what the difference is between a value, moral belief, and purpose.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Well. Absolutely, this is a big topic and it has
been people have looked into this for centuries. From my perspective,
a value is what's most important to us, and that
often gets confused with things like ideals. You see many
companies putting a list of ideals on their website, on
the about us page, soon to be forgotten. A value
(01:20):
really drives behavior. A moral is a sense of what
is right and wrong. A belief is it's almost how
we perceive a situation, and that can be based on
values and can be based on morals. So it's a
complex field. Sociologists, psychologists, philosophers have contemplated these areas for
many years. But I zoomed in on values as being
(01:42):
at the core of what drives our actions.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
And that's why they're important obviously.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Exactly. You know, when we're clear about our values, we
can weave a web of habits and we can align
our behaviors with what matters most to us. And in
my experience and in my research, that brings us a
sense of fulfillment. It gives us the sense that our
actions are meaningful, that there is something deeper driving our behaviors,
(02:12):
and we're in alignment with what matters most. If we're
not clear about our values, the chances are that we're
finding ourselves feeling distress, or feeling high levels of anxiety,
or even just meaninglessness.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I'm sure that people probably think they know what their
values are, but if you ask them to sit down
and write them out articulately, it's not that easy.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Is it not at all? And many of us have
a vague sense, and this is where we get confused
with ideals. We say we want peace, love and joy,
for example, but are those really the values driving your behavior?
How important is for example, financial security or growth, personal
growth and development, or a sense of gratitude. When we
(02:54):
deep dive into the science and the practice of values
and we really discover what's most important to each one
of us, we can then start to use these values
as lenses through which we are observe both challenges and opportunities,
as tools that enable us to navigate life more effectively.
But the first step, as you said, is to clearly
discover our values.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Bradley, What impacts our individual values.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
On many things, So there's always the nature versus nurture debate.
Many of our values are shaped by what has happened
over the course of our life, based on our life
experience and also stage of life. So for example, when
I was younger, it was all about freedom and rebellion
and adventure. But then when my daughter was born eleven
(03:42):
years ago it became about patience and kindness and stability.
And then as she progresses a little bit on her
own journey, my values become again oriented around personal growth
and about exploration and so forth. So values are not static.
They change over the course of our lives. And this
(04:02):
same principle applies to organizations, which is really interesting.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
So how do we discover our values?
Speaker 3 (04:10):
So in my book Start with Values, I have collated
what I believe to be the most comprehensive guide to
discovering your values and of course bringing them to life,
so that many ways, One is to ask yourself what
has brought me fulfillment? Because fulfillment turns out to be
the number one skill practiced by the most resilient people.
That's through research at the Resilience Institute. So what has
(04:33):
brought you fulfillment? When you look back, which moments, experiences,
events really have made you feel like life is worthwhile?
And there's usually some clues hidden in there around your
core values. Also, when something is taken away, what brings
you the most distress? What can you not live without?
That's another good clue. But then as part of the book,
(04:55):
in addition to those types of tools, we ask the
question what kind of legacy would you like to leave?
And core values are often hidden in there as well
as those lists. Many people will try and discover their
core values online and they'll discover a list of five
hundred words, and that can be quite overwhelming in itself.
So we really try and help people to go from
(05:16):
a list of ten to a list of five, and
ultimately to three core values, because three is the most
memorable number. In terms of these types of tools, mirrorble all.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
The easiest to sort of put into the least values
you have, Obviously, the simpler it is to be able
to put them into practice, right because you can have them,
but you've got to actually kind of action them as well,
don't you for them to be useful?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Absolutely, And that's the thing. Sometimes people come up with
a list of ten values and I've asked them, okay,
so which value would you leverage right now? Or which
value are you acting in alignment with right now? And
they don't know. There's too many there. There's a reason
why most kids' stories and books are all about three witches,
three wishes, three bears, The ABC's the one two threes.
(06:02):
It's just much easier to remember now, Brene Brown, in
her work on vulnerability, suggests two core values. But I
think that could be a little rigid because to say, okay,
can I practice integrity or fitness right now? Well, they're
not as adaptable and relevant as if I had, for example, integrity,
fitness and kindness. Could I be kind right now?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
That's an interesting one, so it gives you a little
bit more flexibility in everyday practical use.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
You talk about intrinsic and extrinsic values, which I thought
was really interesting. Can you explain this and why it's
important to lead to lean towards the intrinsic.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Yes, absolutely so. Intrinsic values are things that we can control. Now. Ever,
since ancient Stoic times, people have talked about focusing on
things that you can control. This is especially important in
times of challenge, uncertainty, rapid change, which is pretty much
where we are right now in the world. Things that
you can control are how you act, how you think,
(07:05):
how you behave the words that you speak, what's important
to you, and that you can actually take actious action
on where you can build a new habit. For example,
if fitness is really important to me, can I build
a new habit around this value of fitness and getting
really specific, although fitness can have an extrinsic lens to
(07:25):
it as well. If the reason I want to get
fit is to have a six pack so I can
go to a festival looking my best. But if that's
the only reason that fitness is important to you, or
you're suddenly placing the control in other people's hands, because
extrinsic values are, for example, fame and recognition and reward,
and you know, having a certain number of followers on
(07:46):
social media, I'm giving away my control because I need
to be validated in order for that value to be satisfied.
So I suggest leaning towards values that you can control
and weaving a web of habits around those.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Often we feel great, don't we. But this is something
to do with, you know, having what you call junk values.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Many of us have a few junk values that we've
collected along the way, whether as a result of being
prescribed them by consumer culture, and we think, oh, you
know what, if I just have that new car, everything's
going to be great. Or if I have sacrificed my
diet for some comfort food, well, you know that's okay.
(08:27):
In his book Lost Connections, author Johann Hari says, one
of the main reasons for our mental health epidemic, you know,
people really suffering is a lack of meaningful values. We've
gravitated towards junk values, and often these are in extrinsic
you know, we're looking for that recognition or fame or
(08:49):
whatever it might be, or just seeking comfort rather than
pushing ourselves deliberately into a little bit of discomfort, which
is where growth happens. So in the book, I outline
a process for auditing junk values. And remember this is
a lifelong process. It's not something that you do once
and your perfect for life. We're always going to slip
in our habits and that's completely normal, and I say,
(09:11):
don't put pressure on yourself, be curious and just keep
moving in the right direction.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
So, Brady, we've got our three core values. How do
we put them into action? How do we live by them?
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Well, many people will have read the book Atomic Habits
by James Clear. I think it's the best selling book
of all time pretty much in the self development space.
But what I suggest is formulating micro habits around your
core values. So I'll give you a practical example if
my core values, and they are creativity, kindness, and fitness.
(09:40):
Now if I say I'm going to write a book
because I'm a creative person, suddenly I feel additional stress.
I feel overwhelmed. How can I write a book? It's
too big? But what if I say every day, at
a certain time, I will write one paragraph and that
becomes a habit. And when that habit is non negotiable,
I can gradually upscale it so that I'm writing for
(10:01):
half an hour, an hour, two hours, and eventually I
am a writer. A really important aspect of this is
to shift from values to identity. So instead of saying
I value creativity, I am a creative person, or instead
of I value fitness, I am a fit person. Now
what does a fit person do? And start ridiculously small?
This bypasses the resistance we often feel to habit formation.
(10:24):
Even positive change can be really challenging, and eighty percent
of years resolutions fail by February. So if anyone struggling.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Or not alone, little bite sized steps right exactly. It's
really interesting. You know, I started off by asking you
the values and beliefs, and we live in a world
in which people struggle. It seems to me at the
moment to accept other people's beliefs. And I think, you know,
especially when you look at politics, and yet we may
actually all have the same value. We just believe that
(10:56):
there is a different way of achieving something. It wouldn't
it be nice to see people disagree agreeably, you know,
I mean, do we need to actually be more focused
on communicating our value not our beliefs?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Absolutely? And I think this is really the message I
was trying to convey in this book, is it's good
to have a wide range of values, and it's good
to have a wide range of beliefs. But if we
can express the why behind our belief we can find
some common ground. Because a lot of the time, one
team is saying, you know, we value freedom and the
(11:29):
other team is saying, well, we value safety or tradition
or whatever it might be. But if you dig a
little bit deeper, you find that both are coming from
a place of self protection, or of compassion, or of
you know, just wanting to flourish in a busy, busy
changing world. Now, if we can find what that underlying
value is, we open up a space for saying, ah, look,
(11:50):
either we're very different, and that's important from a survival perspective.
In a tribe on the savannah, you want people to
have different values. You want someone to be conservative and
stay close to the fire and look after the family,
and you want someone to be an adventurer out there
in the world, hunting prey or whatever it might be.
But often we'll find that there are some universal core values,
(12:10):
such as we all want to flourish, such as we
all like integrity or honesty and truth, and we all
mostly want to look after our planet.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Brettany Hook, thank you so much for you the time
this morning, lovely to have you with us. Start with
Values is in store now.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
For more from the Sunday session with Francesca Rudkin, listen
live to News Talks it B from nine am Sunday,
or follow the podcast on iHeartRadio.
You're listening to the Sunday Session podcast with Francesca Rudkin
from News talks'b Sava.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I was going to ask you right now, what are
your core values? Could you tell me how confident are
you that you could clearly articulate what it is and
what isn't important in your life. I reckon it might
be a slightly harder task than we all think, but
my next guest is here to tell us just how
important those values are. In fact, they might just be
the starting point some of us are looking for. Bradley
(00:35):
Hook is a speaker, writer, and entrepreneur. He's the founder
of the Values Institution and a global partner of the
Resilience Institute. His new book is Start with Values, How
to Build a Life with Meaning and Purpose. And Bradley
Hook is with me now.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Good morning Bradley, Good morning Francesca Hey.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I was wondering if we could start by talking about
what the difference is between a value, moral belief, and purpose.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Well. Absolutely, this is a big topic and it has
been people have looked into this for centuries. From my perspective,
a value is what's most important to us, and that
often gets confused with things like ideals. You see many
companies putting a list of ideals on their website, on
the about us page, soon to be forgotten. A value
(01:20):
really drives behavior. A moral is a sense of what
is right and wrong. A belief is it's almost how
we perceive a situation, and that can be based on
values and can be based on morals. So it's a
complex field. Sociologists, psychologists, philosophers have contemplated these areas for
many years. But I zoomed in on values as being
(01:42):
at the core of what drives our actions.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
And that's why they're important obviously.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Exactly. You know, when we're clear about our values, we
can weave a web of habits and we can align
our behaviors with what matters most to us. And in
my experience and in my research, that brings us a
sense of fulfillment. It gives us the sense that our
actions are meaningful, that there is something deeper driving our behaviors,
(02:12):
and we're in alignment with what matters most. If we're
not clear about our values, the chances are that we're
finding ourselves feeling distress, or feeling high levels of anxiety,
or even just meaninglessness.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I'm sure that people probably think they know what their
values are, but if you ask them to sit down
and write them out articulately, it's not that easy.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Is it not at all? And many of us have
a vague sense, and this is where we get confused
with ideals. We say we want peace, love and joy,
for example, but are those really the values driving your behavior?
How important is for example, financial security or growth, personal
growth and development, or a sense of gratitude. When we
(02:54):
deep dive into the science and the practice of values
and we really discover what's most important to each one
of us, we can then start to use these values
as lenses through which we are observe both challenges and opportunities,
as tools that enable us to navigate life more effectively.
But the first step, as you said, is to clearly
discover our values.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Bradley, What impacts our individual values.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
On many things, So there's always the nature versus nurture debate.
Many of our values are shaped by what has happened
over the course of our life, based on our life
experience and also stage of life. So for example, when
I was younger, it was all about freedom and rebellion
and adventure. But then when my daughter was born eleven
(03:42):
years ago it became about patience and kindness and stability.
And then as she progresses a little bit on her
own journey, my values become again oriented around personal growth
and about exploration and so forth. So values are not static.
They change over the course of our lives. And this
(04:02):
same principle applies to organizations, which is really interesting.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
So how do we discover our values?
Speaker 3 (04:10):
So in my book Start with Values, I have collated
what I believe to be the most comprehensive guide to
discovering your values and of course bringing them to life,
so that many ways, One is to ask yourself what
has brought me fulfillment? Because fulfillment turns out to be
the number one skill practiced by the most resilient people.
That's through research at the Resilience Institute. So what has
(04:33):
brought you fulfillment? When you look back, which moments, experiences,
events really have made you feel like life is worthwhile?
And there's usually some clues hidden in there around your
core values. Also, when something is taken away, what brings
you the most distress? What can you not live without?
That's another good clue. But then as part of the book,
(04:55):
in addition to those types of tools, we ask the
question what kind of legacy would you like to leave?
And core values are often hidden in there as well
as those lists. Many people will try and discover their
core values online and they'll discover a list of five
hundred words, and that can be quite overwhelming in itself.
So we really try and help people to go from
(05:16):
a list of ten to a list of five, and
ultimately to three core values, because three is the most
memorable number. In terms of these types of tools, mirrorble all.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
The easiest to sort of put into the least values
you have, Obviously, the simpler it is to be able
to put them into practice, right because you can have them,
but you've got to actually kind of action them as well,
don't you for them to be useful?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Absolutely, And that's the thing. Sometimes people come up with
a list of ten values and I've asked them, okay,
so which value would you leverage right now? Or which
value are you acting in alignment with right now? And
they don't know. There's too many there. There's a reason
why most kids' stories and books are all about three witches,
three wishes, three bears, The ABC's the one two threes.
(06:02):
It's just much easier to remember now, Brene Brown, in
her work on vulnerability, suggests two core values. But I
think that could be a little rigid because to say, okay,
can I practice integrity or fitness right now? Well, they're
not as adaptable and relevant as if I had, for example, integrity,
fitness and kindness. Could I be kind right now?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
That's an interesting one, so it gives you a little
bit more flexibility in everyday practical use.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
You talk about intrinsic and extrinsic values, which I thought
was really interesting. Can you explain this and why it's
important to lead to lean towards the intrinsic.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Yes, absolutely so. Intrinsic values are things that we can control. Now. Ever,
since ancient Stoic times, people have talked about focusing on
things that you can control. This is especially important in
times of challenge, uncertainty, rapid change, which is pretty much
where we are right now in the world. Things that
you can control are how you act, how you think,
(07:05):
how you behave the words that you speak, what's important
to you, and that you can actually take actious action
on where you can build a new habit. For example,
if fitness is really important to me, can I build
a new habit around this value of fitness and getting
really specific, although fitness can have an extrinsic lens to
(07:25):
it as well. If the reason I want to get
fit is to have a six pack so I can
go to a festival looking my best. But if that's
the only reason that fitness is important to you, or
you're suddenly placing the control in other people's hands, because
extrinsic values are, for example, fame and recognition and reward,
and you know, having a certain number of followers on
(07:46):
social media, I'm giving away my control because I need
to be validated in order for that value to be satisfied.
So I suggest leaning towards values that you can control
and weaving a web of habits around those.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Often we feel great, don't we. But this is something
to do with, you know, having what you call junk values.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Many of us have a few junk values that we've
collected along the way, whether as a result of being
prescribed them by consumer culture, and we think, oh, you
know what, if I just have that new car, everything's
going to be great. Or if I have sacrificed my
diet for some comfort food, well, you know that's okay.
(08:27):
In his book Lost Connections, author Johann Hari says, one
of the main reasons for our mental health epidemic, you know,
people really suffering is a lack of meaningful values. We've
gravitated towards junk values, and often these are in extrinsic
you know, we're looking for that recognition or fame or
(08:49):
whatever it might be, or just seeking comfort rather than
pushing ourselves deliberately into a little bit of discomfort, which
is where growth happens. So in the book, I outline
a process for auditing junk values. And remember this is
a lifelong process. It's not something that you do once
and your perfect for life. We're always going to slip
in our habits and that's completely normal, and I say,
(09:11):
don't put pressure on yourself, be curious and just keep
moving in the right direction.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
So, Brady, we've got our three core values. How do
we put them into action? How do we live by them?
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Well, many people will have read the book Atomic Habits
by James Clear. I think it's the best selling book
of all time pretty much in the self development space.
But what I suggest is formulating micro habits around your
core values. So I'll give you a practical example if
my core values, and they are creativity, kindness, and fitness.
(09:40):
Now if I say I'm going to write a book
because I'm a creative person, suddenly I feel additional stress.
I feel overwhelmed. How can I write a book? It's
too big? But what if I say every day, at
a certain time, I will write one paragraph and that
becomes a habit. And when that habit is non negotiable,
I can gradually upscale it so that I'm writing for
(10:01):
half an hour, an hour, two hours, and eventually I
am a writer. A really important aspect of this is
to shift from values to identity. So instead of saying
I value creativity, I am a creative person, or instead
of I value fitness, I am a fit person. Now
what does a fit person do? And start ridiculously small?
This bypasses the resistance we often feel to habit formation.
(10:24):
Even positive change can be really challenging, and eighty percent
of years resolutions fail by February. So if anyone struggling.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Or not alone, little bite sized steps right exactly. It's
really interesting. You know, I started off by asking you
the values and beliefs, and we live in a world
in which people struggle. It seems to me at the
moment to accept other people's beliefs. And I think, you know,
especially when you look at politics, and yet we may
actually all have the same value. We just believe that
(10:56):
there is a different way of achieving something. It wouldn't
it be nice to see people disagree agreeably, you know,
I mean, do we need to actually be more focused
on communicating our value not our beliefs?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Absolutely? And I think this is really the message I
was trying to convey in this book, is it's good
to have a wide range of values, and it's good
to have a wide range of beliefs. But if we
can express the why behind our belief we can find
some common ground. Because a lot of the time, one
team is saying, you know, we value freedom and the
(11:29):
other team is saying, well, we value safety or tradition
or whatever it might be. But if you dig a
little bit deeper, you find that both are coming from
a place of self protection, or of compassion, or of
you know, just wanting to flourish in a busy, busy
changing world. Now, if we can find what that underlying
value is, we open up a space for saying, ah, look,
(11:50):
either we're very different, and that's important from a survival perspective.
In a tribe on the savannah, you want people to
have different values. You want someone to be conservative and
stay close to the fire and look after the family,
and you want someone to be an adventurer out there
in the world, hunting prey or whatever it might be.
But often we'll find that there are some universal core values,
(12:10):
such as we all want to flourish, such as we
all like integrity or honesty and truth, and we all
mostly want to look after our planet.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Brettany Hook, thank you so much for you the time
this morning, lovely to have you with us. Start with
Values is in store now.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
For more from the Sunday session with Francesca Rudkin, listen
live to News Talks it B from nine am Sunday,
or follow the podcast on iHeartRadio.
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