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October 18, 2018 48 mins

There’s been a murder at Turlah’s Diner, and two detectives try to solve this backwater mystery. Next it’s Live TV News from Peoria covering the murder, featuring Bobby Fly in the Sky,” followed by A Kidnapping at the Diner, and lastly A Jury decides the fate of the accused…

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to alchemy this. I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. What's that?
He has that? Kevin Pollock? But hey, listen, what's that? Yes?
A few good men is on too often I can't
help you, please, though, try to stay with me here.
Throughout my career, I've been fortunate enough to see my
fair share of true alchemy. By definition, alchemy is quote

(00:22):
when a person transforms or creates something through a seemingless
or seemingly magical process. And my dear ladies and Latin lovers,
like I said, I've been witnessed to the stuff on
several occasions. An example, Sure, if you're going to be
like that, let's see. Okay, the film The Whole nine
Yard works because of a tremendous ensemble, even though one
night Big Mike Clark Duncan proved himself to be crazier

(00:45):
than white pants after Labor Day. But I digress. The point, folks,
is that it wasn't until the start of this glorious
new year that an idea hit me square in the
old Boxer rocks. What if I brought together the right
creative people forced them to make shut up based on
my own twisted, demented ideas, then damn it, I would
offer a podcast of the seemingly magical process, and I'd

(01:06):
call it alchemy over there, and I'll show you who's
running things well. After a bit of title tinkering, I'm
so very proud to welcome you, dear friends, to another episode,
I'll alchemy this. So let's meet our alchemists in no
particular order. To say hello to James Heeney, can I
call you old Doggy? I'm sorry, I just really prefer

(01:27):
my first name, because otherwise it's confusing. I'm up and
coming star, Just James. He sure, so glad I could
get through that question without laughing. Next up, it's Joey
Cannell out best known I suppose is Joey Greer Joe
what day's best view? What day's best view? For a
check up with old Doc Keeney? Oh jesus, Uh, probably
like a Wednesday, some mid week. Okay, we'll make that happen. Hey,

(01:51):
how about a gal join in the fray today? That's right,
it's Vanessa Ragling everybody, But I said, what did your
darling son surprise you with over the weekend this time? Oh?
Great question. I think it was a sassy attitude still
surprising you. Look out, it's Chris Alvarado. Chris, why so cheery?

(02:11):
Things are going well? Yeah? Yeah, last but mudd in
your eye if you think them leaves. Mr craig Kowski, Craig,
tell the folks what you do for kicks soccer? That's correct.
I don't play it, but if I wanted to kick something,
that would be all right. Let's get to our first scene. Yeah,

(02:34):
we got a theme today that them is crime. See
number one murder has taken place in the parking lot
of a late night diner an hour after closing. Two
small town homicide detectives, craig Kowski and myself, a waitress Vanessa,
who discovered the body, and some patrons Joey, Chris, James.

(02:57):
We take you there. Now, take a photo. I'm i
gonna photo of this, hey, get away from get back away?
Please you see the tape photos? No photos? Okay? What
do you what do you see? What do you like?
What do you don't like about this? I don't like
anything about it? All right, Well, I'll tell you what
I noticed right away. Cigarettes still lit. Yeah, that's strange. Peterson.

(03:19):
You've got you've got a holmesy and I for detail. Well,
I studied under the grade Holmes. No you that was
my cigarette that I misunderstood. I thought it was in
Oh no, I left it there, Yeah, like a holder.
You thought the dead guy's two fingers would help hold

(03:40):
your I was taken aback by the whole thing. I
wasn't thinking clearly. Tell us your name again. You're the waitress. Well,
I'm also the floor manager. But yes, Turla, how do
you how do you spell it tu r L A
H the traditional? Yes? Correct, I'm very shaken. And do
you remember this particular patron from inside at dinner earlier?

(04:05):
You know, I do remember that because I as a
floor manager, I'm very adapted. I remembering people's faces, remembering
my interactions. He wanted his eggs over easy. I said,
that's not gonna be a problem. Unfortunately he was the problem.
He was having eggs late at night. That's correct. We
start breakfast all day. It's a great manu um, protein
is good for you. You know. Uh you said it

(04:28):
ended up being a problem the eggs. Well, yes, not
on my problem. But Frank in the kitchen he doesn't
fucking understand things. So I said over easy, and he
fuked it up. Frankie want to answer to that. You
know it's oh my god, I speaking for myself. Okay,
you know you can speak for yourself. I just want
to warn them they have made the biggest mistake of

(04:49):
their lives. Do not get your notepads out for this
attack you're gonna want to take all right. First off,
if you guys have a hungry late night, come over
to my house. Went to your house, come over my house.
I have a house. Alright, alright, alright, alright, statement, do
you rent kind of kind of move like move around?
You know what I mean? Between situations? Right, A little

(05:10):
bit between a lot of situations, you know what I mean.
I don't feel we're getting a straight answer from me,
frank Come on, man, let me just tell you what
are you the cook here? Yeah? Okay? And so when
the eggs ordered? What was the problem? Well, remember one
is very interested to hear this, Thank you, detective. I've
been asking him that as well. My question is always like,
over what you know what I'm saying? It's like over easy,
He's like, all right, but over what you know what?

(05:31):
I mean? You're easy? Is the answer? Can I talk
to you by the dumpster? For sure? I like Frank
for this? Do you like Frank for this? So far? Okay,
I feel so little early. I know it's early, but
I get hunches. You know me and my hunches. You

(05:51):
you learned under me, my friend, you're trained done to me.
There's a couple of other fellas out there that I'd
like to ask, a couple of how many times my
hunches probably write down it's Frank? Or how many times
have we at least framed someone based on a hunch
that I had no want to say that? So excuse me,
excuse me, officers detective. We're both detective. My name is Bobby.

(06:13):
This is my twin brother, Robbie. Um, we saw some things,
but we're not supposed to not here. We can't be here.
Bobby and Robbie, though, so are both derivative of the
name Roberts. So we're both named Robert. Well I was,
I was. They weren't expecting twins, they only had one
name preparative. But saw things, but we can't, um really

(06:35):
tell you because we're not supposed to be outso late. No,
this is way pastor or curfew. Yeah, I got the
time of death at four am. So my first question
would be what were you two kids doing? Eating eating, eating, eating,
only eating, just eating food in our round in the
diner outside, well outside the diner. But it was which

(06:56):
one is Bobby? I'm Robbie. Okay, I'm Bobby. Sure giving
your problems? Excuse me? Are they giving you problems? These kids?
Do you remember these two? Oh? Yes, I remember them, Hello, Robert.
Uh yeah, they've been outside scrounging. They're always scrounding. Might
of course you mean scround you know there's ground and

(07:20):
groues wet. A good home life? Oh well, I'm very
very sad to hear that none of us have a
good home life. Can we all agree, Peterson? Can I
talk to you about excuse excuse us? Absolutely, I like
Robbie for this. I like Robbie for this. What do

(07:43):
you think I'm writing it down? Okay, write it down.
I'm not sure which one is Robbie to be like
Robbie for this, it's definitely not Bobby. We can rule
him out. The officers. Officers, Yeah, frank Um, that's detective.
Detective Plus So I was thinking, like, why why don't

(08:04):
we all just get together and live in a in
a house together? You know what I mean? Frank, can
you give us a moment, Yeah, sure, before we do. Um,
what do you mean, Huh, We're gonna try to sell
you a condo will not it will not amount to
any day money, and it will disappear. Excuse us just

(08:25):
for a second, Robby, Bobby, Yeah, I was told you
were scrounging. Is this something that happens on a regular basis?
I mean not during the day. We don't try to
come here get free meal during the day when lots
of people here, but nobody shops here at night it's empty. Okay,
So I think between Detective Thompson and myself, you're free

(08:46):
to say whatever you want. This will not get back
to whatever parental characters are in your lives at this point.
All right, then there's no one for us to talk to,
so really talk openly and freely. Well, we feel like
we have some leverage here, and you don't have a
ring on. Do you have a wife? I don't see
how that's pertinent. You're very observing kid. We need to

(09:07):
make a good detective someday. Oh I see, Peter, let
me talk to you for a second by the dumpster.
I get a different hunch. I like Bobby for this, Robbie.
I think it's going to be a great detective someday.
So that's why you're rulling that whole no wedding ring thing.

(09:27):
I mean, that was very You keep on talking over
by my beard. I live in this dumpster and you
keep on coming over. Sorry, what's your name, sir? You
got yourself a dog? Little dog? That that's the dog's name,
A little dog, Peterson. Let me talk to you for
a second. I like a little dog for this. Look.

(09:49):
I haven't examined the body enough to know if there's
a dog bite, but I feel strongly that we need
to get away from your hunches at this point and
just hear these people loud. Okay, just a couple of
minutes with Robbie and Bobby. First of all, how many
times in my hunch just paid off every time? Thank you, Robbie, Robbie,
we can't see Hey, you guys, uh, you may have

(10:13):
been the only witnesses as far as I could see.
Turla and Frank were inside the diner, and you were
saying you were not inside the dinner. So if we
saw it happen, if you want it, you saw exactly
what I mean. It was clear at night. It was
pretty simple. There's a street light right above here. If
you had to describe it, how would you do that?
I won't do it. I won't think. I'm not gonna

(10:34):
do that now without promise of a home. Okay, there
are laws that govern society. I don't know if you
noticed that. There's no laws it it's anarchy for us. Yes, hello,
is this going to affect our health rating? Yeah? No, No,
we're not health inspectors. Man, who this changes things? I

(10:56):
feel like your B plus is gonna hold? Oh god,
I hope so. I don't see a lot of pluses.
That's good. I know. I asked for it. I actually
drew it on with the highlight. I assumed. Yeah, it's fine.
They don't mind. What's the problem with the dead body? Well,
no problem with dead body. We're just trying to get
to what people may or may not have seen. And
Robbie and Bobbie are suggesting that they did see exactly

(11:18):
what happened. They probably did. Robert's out there all night,
and by Robert you mean both of them. And they're
out there every night. I'm starting to feel yeah, most nights,
most nights, right, And what is the deal honestly with
Frank that he doesn't even understand over easy. Well, Frank,
his father started the restaurant, so that's hence Frank is here.

(11:39):
You know. It's one of those sort of nepotistics of
situations of the family, like Alfredo. No, it's a Godfather term. Oh,
I've never watched that. I don't like scary stuff I like.
I mean, it's based in the mob, but a lot
of it is very grounded. There are a lot of
characters story because I like things with good a lot
of good character. And I would three, but one and

(12:01):
two or you know, I'll tell you what. Maybe I'll
bend it. Start skipping three. Can I suggest you just
watch one and two and then when you get the
three doesn't stop. I would start by skipping three. Start
by skipping three, then watch one, then watch Robby Bobby.
Can I guess you guys another question? Yeah, I mean,

(12:23):
if in fact we could find you at home before
the sun comes up. We're listening. Mhm. I'm looking at you, Thompson,
can we live with you? You're looking at me? Do
you like me for this? You think I did this?
Son of a bit? Share the one with the Hunters relax,
get away from the old man's dumpster. Officers found this knife.

(12:51):
I mean, we have the knife. Bobby held the knife
as it plunged it into the man's chest. Thompson, Can
I see you sixteen feet away from the dumpster? Yeah,
a lot a lot of dogs over here. Looks like
a candle. It's a very old one. Listen, Why would

(13:11):
they have the night, why would they have the murder weapon?
Their witnesses of their own murdering. He's a great questions,
you know who would probably give us answers. Excuse me, Frank.
Uh the kids up front, Bobby and Robbie. Yeah, first
of all, Uh would you say they're here most nights? Huh?

(13:32):
And uh if you found them with a murder weapon
and a dead body nearby, what would your hunch tell you? Uh?
Do they got a place to live? You know, if
they got spotted to live them? Like? That's nice, you know,
And I'm thinking, like, man, it would be nice to
go home and Turler. You're saying, don't trust with Frank sis.

(13:54):
I don't even under stand of Frank sas so, Yes,
I am saying that, but I mean there's a caveat
that I'm like I have no idea what he's saying,
so maybe he's an empty human. Come on, oh, come on,
I want my money back. I can talk to you
over here by the dumpster. Okay, I think I'm tired

(14:14):
of living this lie. What you've killed? A lot of
people don't know the half of it, but I am
the half of it. Come over here behind the dumpster
you want to talk to There's a little more Dad. Here,

(14:36):
there's a little look what happened? Rightly? A little boy dead.
Tune in next time to see the further adventure of
a small town murder by the dumpster. We take you

(14:58):
now across town here in Peory, Illinois for the on
air local daytime newscast following the last night's murder. Co
anchors Chris and Vanessa together, we'll read this news story
on air about the murder at the diner, which now
includes the fact that hostages were taken at some point.

(15:21):
They throw it to a field reporter, James Heeney, who
sheds further light. Eventually, they break for commercial, joined by
the voice of the slightly tipsy news director played by Craig.
From his booth, we hear a little more from the
field reporter, and then we'll add the gossipy makeup person
played by Joey. But first let's go to that daytime newscast.

(15:43):
Is it a Monday? Even worse, it's a murder day,
Happy murder Day, Peory, Illinois. All was well in our
small town until blood was shed, and then it got
worse when more blood was shed. The murder happened at
the diner, Turla Zone diner. Darlene and I frequent that

(16:05):
dinner from kind of time after our news coverage. We
don't need to tell anyone what we do after our
news coverage. I just feel like it makes it a
little more personal and therefore we're a little more invested
in the story. All right, Well, sink your teeth in.
Sometimes we go out for dinner late at night. Back
to the facts. They're in a hostage situation. That's right.
We have a helicopter that the station bought last year

(16:28):
thanks to a very generous donor. Oh gosh, the helicopter
is fluttering about above the hostage situation and we are
being kept abreast of the issue. That's why don't want
you shoot that over to our man in the sky,
Bobby Fly. I'm looking down and there's a lot of
there's a lot of commotion. I can't seem to find

(16:49):
a place to land my helicopter down there. They keep
waving me away. I'm a goddamn newsman. I need to
get in there. Well, Bobby, good luck with that parking.
Am I right? Monday's darling, and you are as funny
as you are pretty Oh well, hank you Jim, and
you are as smug as you are smug and married

(17:13):
mun fun fun. Speaking of things that aren't fun, there
was a dead man dog the child's body, and there's
a dog that is eating the child. Oh, Peoria, we
weep with you today. Okay, Bobby fly all right. I
got a place to lend the helicopter. I had to
shoot them off because it's it's a damn ship storm
down here. Nobody seems to get away from me. Await, Bobby,

(17:37):
just go down. I'm going down. I'm climbing down the
water gutter. I'm almost to the front door of the
Holy There's there's a child with a knife and he's
got three grown at doults and they're scared of him.
Is there a dog currently eating that boy? He's on
the side. I don't think that matters. Right now, there
are three living people. There's a dead boy. Yeah. Not
every day you hear about a dog eating a little boy,

(18:00):
but there are three hostages inside this diner. I think
I can I think I could do something. Don't no, No,
I think I could do something. Bobby, this is Tamith
the news desk. Do not intervene you're you're also supposed
to stay in your helicopter. Don't stop landing. The helicopter
doors unlock. I can get in there right now. Didn't

(18:21):
let him do it? Okay, okay, And and gentlemen, and
there's time for us to take a quick little break
here as we send it to our advertisers. Okay, guys,
what what are you doing? Please refrain from editorializing. We
weren't editorializing because we're giving our opinion, just gut facts.

(18:42):
Bobby couldn't find a place to land. What are we
supposed to do? Stop throwing it to Bobby if he's
not ready? Okay, why won't you give me an award show?
I want to do awards show? This is Peoria. What
awards show? Are you gonna make one? Make an award
show for her? I've got to get out of this job. Okay,
that's that's enough. That's enough powder, thank you, am I

(19:03):
sure that's enough powder. I've got a cat. I it's
very nice. I want to shape it up. You don't
want to shape up the eyes whatever it's. This is
not Your job isn't to make us into some kind
of project that you want to see. Your job is
to make us camera ready. There are hostages out there.

(19:23):
People look at you, guys, for focus. They look at
you for guidance, and if you don't look right, if
you don't look camera ready, then they're not gonna trust
you to take the scarf off of me. Okay, well,
a lot of people are talking about your neck, soever
my chest. The scarf is something that we're we're working on,
you know, keep the scarf on for now. I'm just
saying people are talking about your neck. We are getting it.

(19:46):
We're getting a lot of bad Yelp reviews for about
my neck. About the next early I'm not going to
say anything about the neck. The scarf looks great. The
scarf looks great. Okay, we're back on in five four three,
Happy death Day, Peoria. That's right. Our situation is still
develop it. Tim, just let us have fun. Our situation

(20:09):
is still developing. But this reporter knows that things are
going to work out because I believe in Jesus Christ.
If everyone in Peoria will join me for a moment,
he's no proselytizing, Darlene. I wasn't proselytizing Jesus Christ. Okay,
I believe is that? Are we still on the Yes,
I'm just in your ear. I think you're the public

(20:30):
can't hear me? Wait, the public can't. Ladies and gentlemen,
you know news programs work, right, Yeah, we're the number
three news show and god willing will get to number one.
Ladies and gentlemen, you should know this. Tim in the
booth talks it w bring me into this. Tim in
the booth talks to us in her ear, and he
says things and you can't hear him. So we seem crazy,

(20:54):
but we're not crazy, Tim record, Tim's the crazy one. Okay,
let's go out. Let's check on Bobby. Let's throw it
to Bobby. Bobby at the din. I've been taking hostach,
I've been taking the cook seems to be helping the
small child. I think that he's looking at me, telling

(21:17):
me to stop talking. I feel like I don't have
much of a choice but to stop covering this. No, no, no, no,
keep the story. He's marching in front of me with
some sort of some sort of stick with Okay, the
only way to beat the bully is to be a
bigger bully. He has a stick. I don't know. It's
a metal stick. It's got like a handle at the

(21:38):
bottom of it. It's a gun. Is it a gun? Got?
It's a gun. It's a goddamn gun. Oh my god.
He's marching back and forth. This is good TV. This
is good. Unfortunately, we need to take a quick break
to let you know that if there's a creak in
your neck, well, we got the best pillows. That is,
leave the scarf on. Don't take the scarf off, pillows, pillows. Okay.

(22:02):
I I don't know how many times I can come
up here, run up to the booth, and run back down.
It is tiring. Number one. Okay, We'll try to tie
the scarf on a little bit, doing the best I can. Okay,
I come to you first with this, Yes, what do
you want? One? Yes? Okay? That was implied for the best.

(22:23):
I never know when we're on TV and when we're
not on TV. When the light is on your on
the air, it's been on the whole time. The lights always,
there's always a light on the specific the red light
that says on air, that's the one you should God,
why didn't you ever have you been looking at I've
been looking at my reflection and that's screen. Okay, no, no, no,
that's it's a great thank you reflection. Well, yours is

(22:48):
not bad for noting to him. She's looking straight down
the barreley camera. Just show you when she says, I
see my reflection, it's the cam. Okay, do we have
a problem with that? Thank you for piping up. I
don't even know your name. What is it that the cameraman.
That's George, he's been the camera called him for years.
We call him overalls because he looks like he's wearing
overalls just the shape of his body has the name.

(23:09):
It's George. He has a family. Oh you guys, Bobby,
what is up with that? The thing is, I'm not
supposed to be talking clearly. The detective Peterson. We have
the place around them. It's not hopeful. Always know you

(23:29):
were crazy, Okay, I always know what I think I'm
gonna you know what, I think I might be able
to get an interview. I'm really close. Hey Peterson, are
you two detectives? Yeah, we all thank you, thank you
recognizing that well, you've got your detective outfit on. Are
not quieter? Talk quieter? Sorry, we're just hiding you. Bobby

(23:53):
flying this guy. It's not a big deal. But yeah,
I'm from the Theory local News. We know you love
your work. I'd like to get you always in the chopper. No,
am I in the chopper right now? I'm not always clearly,
he's not always in the chopp at Peterson's rookie level stuff.
But I'm glad that you're here because, as far as
I know, you've been on the force a long time. Yeah,

(24:13):
it's all relative. I'm remembering this. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back.
I have bad news and I have worse news, but
the scarf the bad. Start with the bad news. Start
with the bad news. Okay, the bad news is hostages
are still being held hostage. The worst news is this

(24:34):
is my last broadcast. Oh my god, where is this
coming from. I don't feel comfortable up here. I don't
feel good about myself, and I now early and I
feel like until I can be a better man for
myself than I can't be a good man for the people. Okay,
taking the scarf off, Trevor, get back in there. Well,
this newscaster thinks that newscaster has a lot more to

(24:58):
offer than you know. Jim, this car one weird flappy
neck shouldn't hold you back from you know, telling it
like it is. And listen, you and I we both
believe in the same powerful God, and together we can
get through anything Jesus cares about us. Okay, enough with
the Jesus get out of my head. There's only one

(25:21):
guy in this guy I listened to Jesus. Okay, by everybody,
shut up, shut up, get those dogs in here, bring
him out. Okay, Okay, I got a stick. It's a gun.

(25:46):
You're okay, You're okay, buddy, You're okay. But look at me,
Look at me, Look at me, Look at me, look
at me. You're okay. Man, Hey, hey, hey, we had
one mission tonight. We re accomplished that. A right, We've
hurt people, right, okay, so we're doing good. We're doing good.
All right. You want to hurt some more people, use
that looking stick? Guns, use the stick gun. Oh you're
looking at me and you're giving me orders. Now, Okay, yeah, no,

(26:09):
I'm not gonna get up. Okay, okay, shoot me. Go ahead,
go ahead, do do it, do it, do it? What
happened here? Don't don't droll the gun man, don't don't don't.
Oh yeah, I was a drill squad. I can twirl it,
I can throw what, I can catch it. Yeah, I
can whack people with it too. Frank, you dumbuck? Come on?

(26:35):
Oh no, no, you come on. That was so rude.
You're trying to kill us. Come on, it's incredibly rude.
Who else is very piste off the helicopter. Honestly, this
is the best thing that has ever happened to my career.
And I would just like, I'm not gonna be able
to say this publicly, but I'd like to thank you guys.
It was looking really bad for me. Can I just say,

(26:58):
just not not as a kidnapper, as a regular person,
please do? I love to work me. Yeah, I thought
I was unnoticed. Come on, man voicing the sky Bobby,
It's like it's so hard to hear me. It's like
they don't care that there's a helicopter always over my voice. Alright, alright, alright,
let's get back to business here. Okay, okay, nope, nope,
this is how it works that let's send up The

(27:19):
reason why we have kidnapped all of you is because
we need money. A sad understand. So you need to
reach out to your parents, to your loved ones, whoever
it is, ask them for money, and then send that
money to us via Venmo. That's at Venmo. We haven't
said that. You know where it is? Where is it

(27:40):
on the internet? Oh? Smart ass? Huh oh, a smart
amount of smart ass shit bull ship. Look, if you
need money, why don't you gotta kick starter? Go? All right,
everybody just take a moment. Do you all have cell phones? Yeah?
Everybody has? All right, smarty pants. All right, we're gonna
wait while you individually call your loved ones ask him
for as much money as possible. You go first, You

(28:00):
go first? All right? I had my phone on airplane mode?
Good luck? Is that the phone in the restaurant? Yeah,
that's the restaurant phone. Okay, go i'm ma yeah, it's uh,

(28:25):
it's Spencer. Oh. I'm being held hostage at the diner.
I'm being held high hostage at the diner. MA, how'll
we say hill? We say hi, I got cholesterol. You
know that the kidnappers say hi hello, and uh they
want me to get as much money as possible. Ah,

(28:46):
what did hans into the vent? Should I just flush it?
I don't know. No, don't flush it, MA, No, you
flush it down the toilet. It's gonna grow huge and
live in the sewers. Very scary. Stuff would be scary.
I need how much you did? You guys need? Sixtus
eight bucks? Really? Yeah? I got that on me? Give

(29:09):
it up, give it up, go go, go go. I
got I just took out some cash at the A
t M. I got, yeah, I get well dollar, I
got a tip turtler. But uh, yes, thank you. I
can give you. Okay, regardless of service. Let me let
him make that choice. Let him make that service. I

(29:30):
get sixty bucks, sixty two bucks? All right, we'll take it.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Man. Welcome.
Can I go now? Hello, let's hang out, let's have
you hang out. Don't flush the hamster? Whatever you do? Okay,
I just put him in you know, why would you
do that? Don't put him in the exhaust? Pipe that's

(29:51):
going to charge me a lot of dollars. Hey, I'm
hang up, hang up, okay, my I'll talk to you
later that Yeah, we're gonna focus on another another hostage. Now,
you don't you don't determine how this host situation works, Okay,
I just think it should be moved around a little bit. Okay,
all right, fine you Hey, you're a famous guy. You
probably got tons of dough, don't you tons of Don't

(30:13):
you get the helicopter? Okay, give us the helicopter. I
don't know what kind of amateurs you are. I'm a newsman.
I'm immuned in this situation. I'm covering this. You can't
rob me. Sounds legit, and I think that's right. He's
got media community, Yeah, I got media. Otherwise, what would
happen when people went overseas and like covered wars the

(30:33):
good shot and kill you can't take mine? It never
happened because they're just taking pictures and stuff. Why would
I have thanked you guys for this great career opportunity
if I was going to pay you. That's a great point.
Media stop pointing out at me, so stick, how much
more do you got? You get me? In a lot

(30:54):
of tips. What do you think none of the food
came out good? I guess that they blame for that.
Do they know it was Frank, dumbass Frank in the
back now they blake Turla you guys, do you mind
if fight just come right back in my camera? Guys outside,
and I'd have way better coverage if I got him.
He's got media immunity. Guys, I'll do back in just
a minute. Try to get those detectives to intervene too.

(31:16):
By the dumpster petting all those dogs doing. I don't know, Spencer,
you think you're running the show. I don't know. I
just thought I was trying to throw the focus back
on me for a little bit. That's a detective Peterson outside.
Then Hi, Hey, listen, if we could have a spokesperson

(31:37):
answer the phone when we call next time, we can
begin the negotiation. That's who was calling. A spokesperson could
do it on the phone. He could do it. He
was good on the phone, was pretty good, Spencer. I
don't know. I get nervous if I'm not talking to
my mom. I'll try it. I'll try it, all right,
all right, all right, all right, Now we just have
to wait for the phone to ring, and we know

(31:58):
how it works. Hey, I believe all right, lots of money,
lots of money, go go go go. Well, I just
let them ring, let him sweat it out. Answer the phone.
This is what it's like to work with this guy. Hello,
Frank's I thought the place was called Turless? What who

(32:24):
am I talking to? This is Detective Peterson talking to Frank,
the cook, Frank Armoni, Eddie Christ. Who else is there?
My buddy Stuts you know what his name is. Put
them on place because I've talked to you earlier and
it's just a complete and other waste of time. They
didn't want to talk to me. They already talked to me.
I'm nervous. Just talk to him. Talk to him what
I'm talking about, Like how you love cars? Okay, Peterson?

(32:47):
Who do you? Who do you like? For the kidnapping?
I like Frank and Stuts? No ship mu hi uh yeah? Hey, hey, hello,
I got too many calls? Exist student, Yeah, student speaking
stud This is Detective Peterson. I'm outside with the Detective Thompson.
They've got a couple of questions for you. Yeah, you

(33:08):
guys want what do you want? What's it gonna take
one second. What do we want that money? Money? Money, money?
Could you be more? In general? Jesus? How about a number?
A number? Give me a number. What are we talking about?
That's my number. You can call me whenever. Uh, A

(33:30):
thousand dollars that's all you want? I mean, you want
a thousand dollars? One thousand dollars. I don't know. If
we don't get that thousand dollars, I'm gonna start off
in hostages. It doesn't add up. It doesn't add up.
It's only just one number. It's a federal crime. Could
they be this stupid? Yeah, it's feds. Oh man, we

(33:54):
better solve this before the feds get in here. Whenever
they encroach on a Peoria detective term and an actual
negotiated with Yeah, all right, Scoots? Is that what it was? Okay? Stoops?
What I heard? Stoots? With two teas? What's up? That
sounds like three? Why is everyone calling me? What? Talk

(34:16):
to me? You got the money? You got the money? Yeah,
we got about nine hundred. Hang up, hang up up,
holt of what nine dollars dollars? Oh baby, it's pretty good.
It's a how's it off? What we wanted? Okay, I
mean we we we shot high? Right? Hold up? See
if they'll go lower? Okay, can you do seven? Let

(34:37):
me chan I never seen nothing money? Can we go
that high? Well? Can we go that move? We were?
We were as hi. I'm with the FBI. Oh you
fans coming in here? Who do you Who do you

(34:57):
like for? Who do you like for the Thompson shooting?
Who do you like for the Thompson shooting? Well, I
have a hunch that I'm gonna get this whole thing settled.
They want seven dollars. You talked to him. I talked
to them. My hands are in the air. We're supposed
to shoot them in the head. Don't know what. Yes,
I'm from the FBI. All right, the branch giving the phone?

(35:21):
Are they on the phone? Okay, guys, I'm Venmo and
you is seven hundred bucks right now? Oh, we don't
have a set up yet, we don't. What do you
said it to? I said it Stutes at venmo dot com? Okay,
do you already have a Venmo up? You already set up?
I found a Stutes on there, but there was three
teas that's how you spell it. But I mean it's

(35:43):
my picture on it. It's just an egg. That's you.
I don't know. Then, I don't know who come on
rows egging around stuts. Frank, I killed my brother sod
never really feel like I still need a place to live.
This is my this is my heist, and you guys
are helpful for Did I kill my brotherther my twin brother?

(36:03):
That was so messed up? Where do you even come from?
Good question? Come on? You want to know where I
come from? Yeah? See dudes, hello, Yeah, tell them where

(36:27):
you come from? You just started up that PC. I
come from a block. Oh my god, all the roughest
part of Peoria. Wow, born and raised. I ain't seen
nothing good. I've seen all things better. It's been a
tough time. And when my boyfriend here, he pitched this

(36:48):
idea to me to murder people in his own dining
two to try to get as much money as possible
and get off that. Wait, are you in cahoots with
Bobby or no? This is I think that's Robbie really.
Frank said that we would be able to get a
home if we just fell along. I did say that

(37:10):
with the record. I did, and I in a way,
I feel like we're a family, you know, what I mean. No,
I do know what you mean. I do know what
you mean. Give me Robbie, Okay, give me hook I
gotta have never been. It's like, we now take you

(37:30):
inside of the jury. It se question an attempt to
render a decision. Okay, guys, we're still we're still locked
up here. We're gonna have to to reach some sort
of conclusion. I mean, I think it's fairly cut and dry.
You know, Robbie killed his brother m hm uh Frank

(37:55):
and Stuts held hostages at the diner. I mean, I
don't know what are those of you who are still
holding out against conviction, Like, what more proof do you need?
Everything we're hearing is from the news. Stuff is fake
fake news. There was footage, There was footage. They were Mike.
If you played modern day video games, you can get

(38:17):
footage of anything. You can get. I got footage with
me and going into March. It's not a big deal.
I just don't feel like it's fair that we're deciding this.
I just don't feel like that's fair. I'm with your team,
thank you. I just feel like this is really unfair. Well,
that's what a jury is. How could we know, Well,
we're supposed to to the best of our ability. I
really think the defense attorney proved beyond a shadow of

(38:38):
doubt that all three guys, which one was that the
defense attorney, I mean the prosecuting attorney. Well, you've got
me all topsy turvy, now, okay, Well, you just really
seem to want to put these people away. I don't
know what's wrong with you. You get vendetta. Look, if

(39:00):
you think you beyond a reasonable doubt that these people
are innocent, then vote that way. But right now we're locked.
We're locked inn We haven't discussed the why. I haven't
said much speaking. He's been braiding my hair. I know
a lot of young kids in here don't understand the law.

(39:20):
Maybe never been on the other shot, But as someone
who spent twenty two years behind bars, I can tell
a guilty face when I smell it. Is that allowed
to happen? Did you get on this jury? It turned
out he was innocent. He turned two years though. I
know the story. You guys don't follow the news. Yeah,
the hurricane right, exactly like the hurricane, high pressure, low

(39:45):
pressure cold fronts from all So what do you think
we should do? I say, we make our own laws
right now. I like that. This feels good. This we
make our own law. A lot of pitch did I
thought it was fun? Dan, aren't the people guilty? What? Yeah?

(40:09):
The people, all of them. You can make that argument that, yes,
generally there there's there's problems in society, but specifically for
this specific crime, the murders and the kidnapping that these
three men are clearly guilty of. But generally speaking, aren't
people guilty? I don't know that that's true. I think,
but most people try to try to be a good person. Um,

(40:33):
I want to go on the record and say I'm
not going to pick a side in this. I just can't.
You got to pick a side one way or the other. No,
I can't. I'm just not gonna pick. I'm gonna pass
this this piece of paper. You write guilty, you're not guilty.
Tear it up, cowboy man? Can we use your same paper?
We played Hangman on? We need more paper. It's okay.
We can use this and then Dan, maybe you'll read

(40:55):
the guilty and not guilties. Let's all do curse him. Not.
Print is better. Print is better because I can't read
your cursive out, so it should clearly say guilty or
not guilty, or thumbs up or thumbs down right, or
just whenever we're guilty or not guilty. Okay, this is crazy.

(41:18):
I'm not doing this. This is insane. You've been drunk
all afternoon. Oh my god, now it's about that. Maybe
I think better when I'm drunk. Oh maybe, Why don't
we start going around saying, well, crimes we committed before
we start passing judgment. I'll start when I was fifteen

(41:38):
years old, I was in accessory to arson. Did I
start the fire? No? But did I stop it no? Next, well,
I'll go on record to say I have fudged a
few things and statements. Um, I signed some paperwork I
didn't understand and it worked in my favor of a

(42:00):
aways felt guilty about that. And I did take a
you know, an animal ones from the fair. But it
seems so sad. What kind of animal? Was a large one?
And it seemed so sad, And I just made it happen.
And I'm proud and ashamed at the same time. I
know what animal, I know what it was an Why

(42:21):
do you care? I could like, Oh, just because I drink,
all right? I have everyone slips, Oh not mine? Um,
I got one for you. Don't worry. I'll write down
there you go. Here, here's mine. I took it, mixed
them up before you reach. Why doesn't mad I don't
need to shake the hat. We're not playing celebrity. We

(42:42):
could do that. Okay. Not guilty? Mm hmmm, not guilty guilty?
This is crazy. I'm not doing this. Let's make our
own laws. Okay, I just said, right, guilty or not guilty?

(43:05):
I know who wrote that? We don't know. We don't know,
all right, it is anonymous, I wrote it. Okay, Okay,
this is a this is a game of hangman. Oh
that was just our scratch paper. That's not at Okay,
can you read this cursive? You son of a bitch?
Who did that? Razor sharp pit? Okay? What's our total?

(43:31):
I don't I don't even know right now? All right,
how many do we need to win? Well, it's not
winning one way or the other. We we need a
unanimous decision, either guilty or not guilty by all twelve
of us. Oh you ask him in hello who we're
still thinking? Oh? Well, time's up. Don't we have like

(43:59):
unlimited figuring this out? Guys? This is an open and
shut case, we have footage of these guys holding people
hostage news man, fake news man, fake news. It's Bobby
flying the sky. If people can agree, I'll go with
the group. I have an idea. We need twelve people

(44:20):
to agree thirty seconds. What if instead of voting, we'll
use hand gestures. We all clapped together, making some kind
of rhythmic music, and then once that rhythm is set,
each one of us will single vocal tune evoking some
kind of emotion, resonating each one of us. Oh, this

(44:42):
is an improv game. Okay, cowboy man, if that is
your name against my better judgment, I'm just curious to
see how this is going to play. All right, who stops?
Let's vote on it, everyone right down on a piece
of who starts? Do we need more paper? Obvious? Can

(45:04):
we get more paper in here? I got the pa
we we need about it's tough. Let me just make
this easier, Dan, What say the jury? Look, we're about
to take a vote of who's going to start this
rhythmic clapping? Dan? Dan, let me just cut this straight

(45:27):
with you. This is the closest I've been to a
group of people in a long time. And when we
give them a verdict. They're going to break this party off.
It was a dancing bear. You stole a dancing bear.
This is great. We're getting to know each other so much,
and we're about to all disperse, And where don't we
ever go to see each other? I will say, I've

(45:47):
been enjoying the time at the hotel I have. It's
been really nice, curious, great. I didn't even mind that
the pool was out of order. I'm not guilty, Matt guilty.

(46:07):
Well that wraps things up for Priori, Illinois on this
particular alchemy this I want to thank our alchemists in
no particular order. James Heeney, what do you got? It was?
That was really riveting. I was afraid of getting murdered.
I don't know what I got? I got? Where can
the fox find you know? It's the real teen Heeny
on YouTube? You can find me on twitch. I stream

(46:29):
live Sundays attending am alright, settle down, Vanessa plans for
the week. Oh none's been a great place. Thank you. Next,
come by Dynasty type it's still Dynasty typewriter at the Hayward.
Are we dropping that part? It can be either, but
the website is just dynasty type right now. I love

(46:50):
every square inch. Thank you, honey, Joey. You can find
me at Jebby Grieber on Instagram. That's right. And uh,
I don't know what my twitters. I think it's not
Eric Trump, and uh, come check out the West Side
pretty pretty pony bear supply check it out. Not a
great show, alright, Craig at cask At on Twitter, you

(47:17):
might ahead and added an eye. I did add the
eye just for clarity. And listen to the Craigslist podcast
where I make my wife listen to my one We'll
listen and watch my one favorite movies. I love every
bit of it. Chris Avarado send us up. I want
to echo what Joys said. Letting gentlemen out there if
you can and are available, to check out the West

(47:39):
Side Comedy Theater in Santa Monica. A lot of us
performed there, do a lot of great stuff there. I
love myself the West Side Comedy Theater, west Side Comedy
dot com. That's where I'm sending you. All right, that's
our show for this week. I want to thank once again,
sweet sweet Raphael. Somebody cough up this kid's last name
for free. There you go, breathe, b r I T you.

(48:04):
Where can they find you? Where can they find him? Anybody,
somebody decide project. You know what, Never mind, Doug our
engineer with every year, let's give it up until next time.
Alchemy there

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