November 8, 2018 • 50 mins
A new Public Defender interviews her new potential clients; In the courtroom, a Judge attempts to make heads and/or tails out one of those client’s alleged crimes; On board a flight, we spend several surprising minutes with the passengers, a flight attendant and two pilots, as well as the passengers in all classes, which then leads us to a couple of FAA hearings, and then a quick trip to Heaven for the sentencing; An NRA lobbyist meets with several key members of congress, which leads to a gun shop, and ultimately to the forest for a peek at the life of the hunted animals….annnnnnnnd a quick return to Heaven.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to alchemy. I'm your host, Kevin Paula. Yes that
Kevin paul was that. Yes it's true. Ain't no loving
like the one I got, But get a load of this.
Over the years, I've been annoyingly lucky, you see my
fair share of true alchemy. By definition, alchemy, of course,
is when a person creates something through a seemingly magical process. Well,
(00:23):
my sweet South and North Koreans, like I said, I've
been witnessed to the stuff on several occasions. An example,
you ask sure you're gonna get greedy? Let's see. Ah,
here's one. Before those jackasses at Reese's reinvented candy and
a cup, peanut butter and chocolate had already shown tons
of folks the magic of their union. But I digress.
(00:43):
Not too long ago the idea hit me. What have
I brought together the right creative people and asked them
to make shut up based on my own twisted, demented ideas.
Then perhaps I could offer this as a podcast, a
podcast of seemingly magical process. I'd call it alchemy. Did
you steal that money from a real bank? Well, after
(01:04):
months of tinkering, I'm so very proud to welcome you,
dear friends to alchemy. This let's met a group of alchemist.
Shall we, in no particular order, say hello to James.
He need James? Can I call you Chicken? But you can't?
You know you can't. You proved that you couldn't do it.
Try it again, Try it again, Chicken, but okay, working
(01:29):
on it, and then hold the door. It's Craig Atkowski,
Craig if not now? When? Never? Never? Why It's Chris Alvarado,
Chris House Tricks, mind your own business. That's fair, look
out now it's but that's a ragling ms mss R.
Do you ever stop? Yes? Often, but last, but rarely
(01:51):
the least. There's Joseph Greer, Hey Greer dot com. When
was the last time? Uh? Great question? And you know
I think it was probably like a couple of months ago.
And let's get to our first scene. Shall we? Okay,
open up your secret envelopes? Uh? Today's theme all in
(02:13):
a day's work, as he does, Many a Morning a
public Defender. She Many a Morning a Public Defender played
by Vanessa meets with several newly indicted in County lock
up one at a time. They said I made an
arson oh, I wanted to introduce myself first. They said,
(02:34):
I made an arson. Okay, okay, I'm Jenna McCabe and
Jenna McKay here to change the world, one interaction at
a time. And I've been looking at your file, and
you know what, I don't think people are thinking about
where you're coming from and what you've been up against,
and I intend to remind them. So let's do this.
(02:54):
My name's Scoot. Okay, Scoot. I set things on fire.
They said, I did an arson, I and you did
do an arson. I sat a building on fire. If
that's an arson, I don't know what world I live in, scooped.
I don't love breaking the news to you, but that
is exactly an arson. Um. I still think that where
(03:18):
you go to school, Janna McCabe, you see l a
u ce l A University of California. Yea, and Andrew's okay,
where did you go to school? Scoot? I went to
McKellan Elementary. That's a great one. Um. I dropped out
(03:40):
to help my mama. Oh, I'm going to bring that up.
What did you help your mother with? I don't want
to go off on a tangent, but it's a faceless system.
There's no heart anymore. We're gonna bring the heart back
in it. Let's tell your stories. Setting fires, I helped
my mama set fires. Why was your mama setting fires?
Because she liked to wash it? Amazed McKay, We got
(04:01):
a new one, Thank you, Scoot. This was super fun.
Oh no, Hi, Hi, my name is Felix. Hi. How's
you gonna meet you? Miss mckabe. The first thing you
should know about me is that I just get your file.
Felix Anderson, Felix Anderson's let's get into this. Okay, it
(04:25):
looks like you did a little um money laundring. Are
accused of that? Yes, that's that's correct, that's correct. Yeah,
they say I cooked the books. Uh, you can see this,
tax evasion accused and other things that don't hurt people.
Frankly right, Um laws tricky, but it all, it all matters.
(04:47):
So when we go in there tomorrow, are you pleading
not guilty? I mean I could say I wasn't doing
I didn't do the things I did. I can tell
you this, I wouldn't last a day in jail. I
wouldn't last a goddamn Dale day, Dale, Dale, Dale, Nothing,
Dale Dale is not my partner, No nothing, nothing, Dale
Crunch Dale crench Shaw m cabe the head of white
(05:10):
color crime here in California, Jale Crenshaw. Yes, but I
didn't just that is who that is. I just happen
to say, Dale, did you just admit to working with
Dale Crenshaw. What I'm saying is if you can get
me Dale, I can maybe work with you. You scratch
my back off, scratch here, no problem? Really? Yeah? What's up? Man? Hey?
(05:33):
Hey Dale? That scrazy let you out a person so quit?
Well you know I said, I said, screw off and
then they let me walk out there? How you do it? So?
What's up? But just trying to do some white color
crime in here? Yes, sir, Yes, yes, you are the
white color godfather. Are you recording? Yes? Yes, Jenna in
the earpiece. You know what I know that you are
(05:56):
a busy man. Dale. I don't want to take up
and every time you can't take up my time because
I'm taking these people's money. That was good? Are you
share your request? Um? Dale, I'm in your ear We
gotta get this guy, get him to talking about it. Okay,
So here's what I'm thinking. All right, follow me here
you and I commit another crime. Don't go there. What
(06:19):
you and Felix go farther. You and I break the
law together and commit another crime, you know, like the
good old days, you know, like the first time we
uh we added a couple of zeros to that lady's
check that we stole. You're saying a little too much
to talk, you know at that time I single handily Felix, Felix, Um,
(06:43):
we're friends. We know each other a long time, very
very very long time. That's good positive and we've done
good work together. If I do say someone self, some
of the best you've done, You've done the best work,
you've done, the best word credit you should Dan give
him a takeof sure, I insist Felix, get him to
take off his pain? What say? We we do what
(07:08):
we do best. I don't know why we make love Dale?
Do you or do you not break laws constantly? I mean,
I guess I turned left when I'm not supposed to.
Is that enough? What is that enough of of a
of a of a traffic violation thing to say to me?
(07:30):
After all the love we made? What Felix, what remember
that time you broke all those laws? You've got to
be more specific. Is that good? You be more specific? Feeling?
You have to be more specific? What do you mean? Okay? Okay,
(07:52):
this is scooting your ear again to start a fire. Well,
take you now in the courtroom. Order order, right, Calm down.
Everyone is bullshit. Okay, no more outburst from you, Mr
Crenshaw White, call it criminal or not. You're gonna remain
quiet in my courtroom? Fine? Okay, even to say fine,
(08:13):
But how can I agree? Okay? Well he could nod? Yes.
When I look at you, you nod or give me
a give me an okay sign? Okay, what are we
looking at here? Mr Prescott? Listen, he didn't do any
of the things. It's circumstantial evidence. It's the very best look.
It's enough evidence to bring him in here today. Okay,
(08:33):
he says you, judge, Yes, says I. This is my courtroom,
and and are we here? We are here, So it's
called cooperating. Okay. Let's hear from the just as a reminder,
as your pailiff, whenever you want me to step in.
Just kind of anatomy. Okay, thanks, Tricia, welcome. Okay, Tricia
will fuck you up? Is that a threat? No more
(08:55):
outbursts from you deale, please stop stop getting off of me. Okay,
let's hear from the state. How do you do? Uh?
Jenna McCabe couldn't be here today. She was in a
fire this morning. Oh that's terrible. So I'm here in replace.
I'm new to the case here, but I've looked over
(09:19):
some stuff this morning, and here's the deal. We've got
this man on tape admitting two crimes that he committed.
Case closed, Thank you very much. Not me, not me,
not me? Okay, no, no more you um look, this
is this is an arraignment, so where we're just here
to to set a trial days. What does the arraignment
(09:41):
mean exactly? You are a lawyer, right, that's correct, you're
a public defender. I don't object to that. Okay. Can
we play a little bit of the tape? Yes, yes, please?
Here we go and and so what huh? Yeah, okay,
maybe one time we kissed it and I liked it.
Who gives a ship about that? Hold on a weird
(10:01):
place to start. I'm gonna fast forward. I'm gonna fast forward,
and here we go. It's just a rash. Okay, it's
just a rash. Who gives a crap about what I think,
look if the one thing that that sound in the background,
I think that this is this was when he and
and and Alex were in the restroom together, and it's
a toilet flashing Alex who was Alex? Alex is a man.
(10:23):
He said, nobody, don't worry about the name judge. I'm
not fat of you. Oh. I think he means feeling feelings, feelix.
This is my first day. I was reading the papers before.
I might want to go into law, I don't know,
but justating. I love having a gun. Um. Okay, thank you, Trisia,
Thank you, Trisha, take out that gun waving around a
(10:44):
little bit. Hotel, Yes, thank you, hotel, Thank you, hotel.
Get this, thank you. How they're hot? That's hot. That's hot,
very hot. Okay, ladies and gentlemen. We are now at
(11:07):
cruising altitude, which means I will begin the drink service soon.
Obviously you know that all um drinks are Are you
okay our complimentary excuse me? Are you okay? I'm fine?
Thank you very much, Because in case of emergency, we
need to be able to rely on this man, and
(11:28):
he can't even finish the sentences right. You're here for
our safety. I'm just going through um, something personal, but
that will not get in the way of my taking
care of you all this afternoon, So just sit back,
relax and enjoy the fly. Excuse me, could you come
over here? Yes, I can help you. That tow burned
my hand. Look at how red by wrist is. Okay,
I's hand is. He's very badly. Band. Please give you
(11:52):
some sort of like cream. I'll give you some sort
of like cream. Part of me, m okay, sir, I'm
just want to I'm sorry about that. I know who
you are. I'm a huge fan. I want to say anything,
but I'm a big, big, big, big big fan. What's
your favorite song of mine? I think it's um last
Friday's Friday for my debut album. Yeah, Christmas always comes Christmas.
(12:14):
I gotta tell you. I don't know if this is
too much, but I just right before the takeoff, I
got a text for my girlfriend and she don't too
much too much? Okay, I discuss too much, too much?
Too much? Can I get you a cocktail? You can't,
and you know what, for the rest of the flight,
I want you talking to me, all right, thank you
very much. What would you like to drink? Tarlet I
(12:36):
can use up here. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You cannot
come back here? You cannot, okay, okay, everybody I will
take care of. This is a person. I'm not a problem.
May I have your name? Please? I can't. I can
(12:56):
tell exactly what I'm looking at, Sharante, that's correct. Okay,
how in fifty six b all the way to the
backrod by the bathroom. But guess that's what's the bathrooms?
A lot in it back there. But I have to
go like night stand in front of the cockpit. There's
(13:17):
regulations that say wherever. I won't because I'm an American. Honey,
look at the US did you the flags? Listen to me.
There is a man on this flight who does have
a weapon. And if you get out of control to
think I'm gonna need to get a fly without a weapon,
that's a fly swatter. That's not what is it? That's okay? Security?
(13:41):
Why don't for rich rich Man with your not shirt
resolveds buttons? Okay, why don't you my shirt? Go ahead
and use the restroom. Everybody else I will be will
bring you apologize in advance. What I'll bring you. I'll
bring you some cream. Did you need that restroom. That's
the first class restaurants for love making? Did you ask me?
(14:05):
What did you tell me that I'm telling you of
a hot fudge Sunday. I guess we'll just have to
do it here, babe, I guess. I guess we'll just
have to do it right here in our seats. Whatever
you want your first class I'll right back. Did you
need that hot fudge Sunday before I Climbax? Okay, everybody,
listen up. Look at me, all of you. He's taking
over the plane. Where's the air Marshall? O? God, God, overreacting,
(14:30):
You're overreacting. I just wanted your attention, motherfucker. Come out
your hands in the air, motherfucker here. That's the quickest
way for somebody to get into this guy was just
trying to get their attention. Terry Bastard. Put your hands,
Terry Bastard, Wait, who are you? I'm just a fan
of the Marshalls. Okay, okay, okay, okay, my hands are
(14:51):
my hands are up. My hands are up. Can ask
everybody here? I was just trying to take care of them, right, God?
What does that smell? All right? I'll ask I'll ask sir,
you are they Is he trying to help you or
is he a terrorist? He led some vagabonds the love
making bathrooms. And I asked two times now for a
hot fudge Sunday. And I actually have the ice cream
(15:14):
scoop that can show you right now, make me fucking
just follow me and I'll show you. Keep it. Somebody
about to get their asks you now inside the cockpit
(15:39):
as the two pilots are having one hell of a flight.
I'm gonna press this button right here. Let's see what
it does. All right, Let's see what it does. And
then why don't you turn that knob over there, turning
the other way the other way? This a little button
(16:00):
over here, a little girl from me name. They haven't
called me that in yours tower to flight two four two.
Tired of taken you here? This is out. This is
flight two four two. Show you're planning to do a
little tissue turns. Want to make sure everything is all right,
(16:22):
copy tower. We're just doing doing a couple of tishy
turns for fun. And uh, we're gonna roll it over
and heading on out to the left. That's right, thank you.
I'm going to do a press and a wiggle and Rick,
I gotta say, I love being on your team. Oops,
(16:43):
that's good to be on your team, Marger. You know
that's fine, that's fun. You're wiggled, then that you wiggle
the wrong one. There all these buttons. I just think,
there's nowhere like the sky. Well, it's beautiful, there's nowhere
like this guy. People love the ocean. I love the
ocean of the sky, which is the sky. It's like
swimming in cloud. Twist that one. How are things at
(17:07):
home not good? Get divorced? It's stuff, it's stuff. They
don't understand. They don't understand SkyLife here, no SkyLife, skylfe.
You've been through Dallas for it worth lately, it's been
through me. Let's go up for a second. Let's start
it up. Let's pull that. Meanwhile, back in the back
(17:31):
of coach, another flight attendants is handling the passengers. There.
We've only been compliant. We we've only done what you've asked.
I'm asking you now to hand me that baby. Please
give me the god damn baby. No, rich he's attached
to my breast. Gross, give me the baby squirts in
(17:52):
my eyes. I'll go up, I'll take the baby's place.
You're going to take the baby's place in the overhead compartment. No,
he's started, OK, he's should I do here? Chelsea? I
love you, I love you so much part of me, sir.
What's a? I see you were sleeping on I mean
to wake you. What's a? I'm doing the cross word here?
(18:13):
A three letter word for bird down under. Excuse me,
You're gonna have to give me that pen. You're not
qualified to have a pen on this plane. What does
that mean? It means you can't have a pen? To me,
this could be used as a weapon. Poor people are
(18:34):
making do with weapons, makeshift weapons all the time. Poor people.
Do you mean you're not poor? You can afford to fly?
I get some water? No, no water. There's a bathroom
in the back. You can use the sink. Are you
calming down? Yel you just tell me where you're calming down,
and then I'll calm down. Get your mouth off my neck. Hey, y'all,
(18:57):
y'all Sunday eating mother suckers. Hey, welcome to your new
first class. What the hell? What do you mean? What
the hell? Well? I took down the bed, guys, so
you're welcome. That's a very good job here. Now you
gotta give him back my gun. I don't think i'll do, sir. Listen,
patriotax in your eyes. You read my gun? Hey? Have
(19:18):
you ever read this mack an Amendment? I mean, I
get the gist of it. It's just a right for
you to give me back that gun. That's the wrong interpretation.
I'm going to do the secret knock to let let
the pilots were st and just just flip that one
over there. Oh, you will not believe what Damon said
(19:41):
to me? What did Damon say? He said, Oh, are
you going back to Are you going back to the air?
That sounds just like I mean, I've never met him,
but you've met him. I feel like I have you
here a knock? Oh, I know a good one. Knock knock?
Who's there? Listen, everyone back from thirty two to fifty six.
Listen up. We're taking for this play this ship, all right, Listen,
(20:04):
is our play, goddamnit. We make up the majority of it.
We should have the rights. Listen. You don't seem to understand.
You shut the hell out, light attendant. If you guys
all rush to the back. We've got water. We're gonna
get water, and we're gonna get water. First out of
your body. Yeah, wait, wait, wait, wait, what's going I'm sorry? Um? Um,
so it's point of contention. Point of contention? How many letters? Um,
(20:27):
it's six and there's an R in there. I have
no idea. Okay, but that was for sure email because
it's messed at my other one. It's got to be email.
These are simple crossmo mean no smarty? Is that a clue?
All right? Every suck all the water out, Suck all
(20:48):
that water out. Get a hold yourself. If you guys
take all my water? Who's help us? Stay? What do
you what are you doing? Help us? I'm checking him? Sure,
say you are a leader? Tell us well, y'all to
I'll just getting all the water around. I'll now so
pretty dry. So there's your captain speaking. We're cruising up
(21:11):
the feet and this is your coat captain, just coming
on to say, enjoy the ride. I wish you guys
could see the view that we're seeing from up here. God.
It's beautiful, clear and beautiful, and it's the handiwork of
We believe in a magical, powerful God who created everything
for us and the word of solace. Everything's going to
(21:32):
be okay. We know we're supposed to get you into
Oakland around six, so five and the PM. But it's
so beautiful up here. What made you stay up? We
got a strong head wind and we're not in the
mood divide it, are we right? I'm not bleeding for
my head every Okay, I guess I'll laid his harror. Sorry,
(21:55):
I didn't mean to wake you again. One last one. Um,
it says fence sword. It's always ape. That's that's that's
a class word word. That's so weird. Thank you. We
take you now to the f A a hearing for
the two pilots. So from the black box we hear
(22:15):
that the knock was delivered four times. Okay, well it wasn't.
It wasn't the secret knock that that I was familiar with.
Let's play the tape again. Comes the knock? Oh yeah,
that Damon said that. Yeah that sounds like yeah. I
never met him really, so that was the secret knock?
That was it. I was still listening to us talking.
(22:38):
We were talking. We're pretty sure that's what happened. Is
you weren't listening to the knock? Correct? Absolutely, I understand
the secret knock is too quick reps to get our
attention and then four longer reps. I also thought there
was a graphic accompanying the knocks. I understood that our
screen would show a graphic when we got the emergence
(23:00):
see knock, and I screen was just clear. Skys uh,
And we saved two minutes off that arrival times three
in the PM. Right, cloud, guys, and the baby and
the luggage rack survives. Everybody one? Everybody? You ready for
your first witness? Yeah? All right, come on, this is nice.
(23:22):
All these benches. I've never seen so many benches in
the box. In the box. Please, that's gonna make me
feel weird. I do not like boxes. Okay, I'll sit
on the floor, perfectly safe to sit in the box.
They're not to sit in the box. Please put your hand,
(23:43):
you're right hand upon this Bible please, And it's missing
some of the fun girls about it. There does the
job's hand up? Please? Which morning? Anyone episode? I'll put
both my poles on the book. Nothing not and nothing
to laugh. Great, that's what we're gonna say. So read
to me please, I swear to and then ing about
(24:03):
the church, So help me God or else stick a
tiger or not. That's not that's not the O. I
think it'll work, will it? I don't know. I'm not
gonna lie. I'm gonna lie. Are we okay? Did she
say stick a needle in her eyes? I don't know
if she's tick a tiger in her Is that a
woman that's the same? I don't know if rough? Are
(24:24):
we good? Because before we can continue? Why do you
care what I don't? Why are you all even caring
about what I am wrong? Now? Okay, let's get to this.
Let's get something. I'll say, yeah, everything, okay, okay, Um,
we're so you were you? It says here, I'm sorry,
(24:46):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's my phone. I was probably
my boyfriend and yes I have one. It is also cute.
Let her answer her phone? Sure, yeah, fine, Hi, derease?
What then are you doing? I'm in court room? Their
spinches everywhere? Baby be by noon? I think where's am
(25:06):
I going to be home? Um? It could take probably
it's probably about forty five minutes. Can you just give
me a time? Noon? It's looking good because your kids
already crying? Well, you have some son a look up
in the cupboards under the hi and some brands give
(25:27):
them all and put it all to mix it together,
put a hot dog on top of it, and my
mama loves them. Okay, and yes I'm a mama. Excuse me, pilots,
where are you two going? You're not through. We're just
gonna take a quick break in the Admiral's lounge. She's
take a look out the window with the beautiful blue sky.
We will be back. Are you gonna let them go?
I want rough. I feel like you and I aren't
good to We're not good together. My daughter is nearly
(25:48):
half your ah, and you've been dating. Okay, all right,
we're coming back for this. Wait, no, you guys are
on break. I thought public knowledge she's dating my daughter. Okay,
she's legal age and loves you. No age, so well,
she's twenty one years old. You have a different and
I mean she's twenty one, you know what I mean?
(26:08):
She's like you know, and I was the only one
ahead all m ty and the world was mandaloose. So
we've all been there hunting. Just give her time. It's
just to me. It distracts me from work. And every
time I hear him open his mouth, I just think
about punching him in the mouth. Well, punch him in
the Yeah, I think that. I think everybody here wants
(26:31):
to move on with our day. Absolutely got okay, so
go ahead and give me one all right, can you
open your mouth? That seems extreme? I don't know. Okay, fine,
better art just if we're going to get to that.
(26:57):
But I was told to about the other guy in
ford to be he ulminates the heart that's only readson
I ever even night it. Can we take a look
at the flight similarity, because that's always so cool when
they show I'm sorry I've really hurt him. I'm so
sorry you're bleeding. That's reminded me of the flat right now,
last time I think that much blood? Okay, so how
(27:22):
does my bloody mouth remind you of the flight? Because
the way we're all eating that one guy. We take
you now to another f a interrogation where those two
officers of the court are being interviewed by two more. Okay,
so let me get this story. You punched him in
the mouth. Uh, he gave me permission. Every time you
(27:46):
two are involved in any kind of deposition or prosecution
or any kind of disinformation gathering, you suck it up.
Several hundred cases have fell through the fucking cracks because
you two can't stop a bicker and jawed each other. Well,
I feel better now. I feel like that's an exaggeration
of how many losses, But I feel like we really
(28:08):
ironed out the kinks. You're keeping good pilots on the
ground and you're putting bad pilots in the air. That's
what you're doing. I'm sorry, You're sorry. How how many
stewards need to get eaten alive before this is taken seriously?
Speaking of which, are those kisses for everybody? No, they're
not for everybody? Okay, Dunkin brings them in and they're
(28:28):
bringing them in. No, you got punched in the face?
Are gone? All right? You can take just one of
the basic Hershey kisses? Okay? Who none of the Who
is this young girl that keeps passing by the window?
Who does anyone know who this little girl is? That's
my girlfriend, girlfriend, the little girl. She's twenty one. She one,
(28:51):
She does not look for the record snack. Oh what
the oh my god? I guess a little girl. You
can don't call her a little girl. She has a name.
That's my daughter, that's his daughter. My name is Becca,
(29:12):
beccare baby Becca. How old you. She showed me with
her hands. She showed me with her hands and then
to baky. She keeps me young. I'm sure it's me young.
You know when she sleeps at night sucking some of
her breath. Okay, I can do. That's a favorite. Once
you hang out outside, we have some toys up. I
(29:33):
saw little puzzles. Puzzles. That's great. Look seventeen human beings.
And also a flight attendant died on on on this plane,
and you weren't able to successfully come to any conclusion
about what happened. That's embarrassing. Have you interviewed the pilots.
They are fantastic people. Fantastic people, beautiful people, beautiful, beautiful.
(29:58):
Imagine yourself waiting for a secret knock. That's pretty, let's
be honest, similar to a regular knock. At the same time,
that was the point, yeah, because otherwise if it was
super secret everybody but no, I mean, but maybe that's okay,
You're clearly contradicting your own point, right, I'm just saying
that that's the secret knock. And these guys were looking
(30:19):
at God's magic in the sky, God's magic. What you
laughing and scoffing a Gut's match. I'm laughing and scoffing
at the fact that you're bringing up God's magic. Okay,
let's not pick her too much. I have some in
flight recording I like to play. Sure why was this
brought up earlier? You were talking to Becca? My mouth hurts.
(30:40):
We take you now into the heavens where God is
getting his first magic lesson from the great Larry. Okay,
so how do I make clouds? Larry? Uh? Well, I
can kind of show you how to do. I can
do a card thing if you want a card thing. Yeah,
I don't know making making clouds just I'm I'm a magician.
(31:06):
I'm you know what my kid told me. You could
teach me to make magic. And what I want to
do is make fluffy clouds that look like animals. Right,
So which fucking button do I push? The fluffy animal?
But that? Wow, I could have fun with this. God
(31:29):
the cosmos? You say, God too. Oh yeah, we're more
like than you would think, Larry. You made me in
your image exactly, you get it? Yeah? Would you like
to see that cardon trick um? You know I've sort
of seen it all, But if you want to do it,
(31:50):
I'm a tough crowd. I'm just mourning you. You know
I made life. I thought of platypus. I was just
for fun. So let's see you a little trick. Pick
a card. Mhm h two oclos No, don't. I can
(32:10):
see through them. You don't want me to No, don't?
Ok Dad of the car? Ah please? Okay, thank you? Teenagers? Huh?
How old is? He keeps me on my toes? But
(32:31):
my cows are in this guy? Pick a card? That one?
How's your day? It's okay? Yeah? Do you um have
any plans later on? Oh yeah, okay, nope, too much. Yeah,
(32:53):
they've just it was beautiful, but um mortal style? Can
I get a oh you made it back again? Okay? Uh,
I don't know. I gotta reshuffle. I don't know where
it is. It's right there, yes it is. Okay, that's
the trick. So um oh, Larry, it's kind of less impressive. God,
(33:16):
that's so good. Um uh oh what's uh? Okay? Uh great?
Kausamo seems to have had a heart attack. I think
we can get him back to life quick. CPR. Clear,
(33:37):
what are you doing? I'm trying to do CPR? I
don't know, are off You're hoping his face. I think
it's staying alive. Staying alive. Okay, somebody else get this
position alive. The children are crying, by the way, they're screaming.
I'm just gonna go back to the party. I'll hand
ok kids, hope is okay? Thank you? Well, take you
(34:05):
now to a downtown bar as an n r A
lobbyists meets individually with several congressmen and a senator about
backing their individual campaigns the gin Tonic. Oh yeah, that's
me right here. Thank you. At least nuts are free,
(34:26):
right right, Look, you need something, I got this something.
We go over this every freaking year. We'll take care
of you. I just want to serve my constituents, and
they're all gone owners, so I just want them to
(34:48):
feel taken care Well. I take care of you. That's
what I do. I always take care of you. Well,
Now about is talking about these kids that data out
there are protesting and there's raising a big stink. Fake news.
It's fake I always fake news. But all right, but
(35:09):
then pretty soon won't be talking about it, and then
we're fine. We're supposed to be talking about the amount
of money that's going into your pockets. My pocket that
should be coming back into our pockets. Okay, So passing
legislation and laws, I'll make your job very coustious. I
do believe the parameters have been made clear. So will
you explain to me one more time. I'm giving you money,
(35:30):
You give us money. You line our pockets so we
can pass legislation to make your pockets big on my
pockets supposed to help you If you haven't help my pockets,
I am happy to help you pocket. Everybody's scratching each
other's bags. Okay, so specifically with my organization, say it
the n R A thank you, thank you so one
of my So if I line in your pockets, what
do I get? That's a great question, okay, Senator, I
(35:52):
believe I can pass it on to my friends here.
All right, I was ready to put in a drink order.
I will put in a drink or I would like
a glass of tequila, and then i'd like your ass deported. Sir.
I'm gonna piggyback on that, but add an honored palmer
to the bill, of course, and you, sir, I want
a big bowl of nuts going right up. Now, let's
(36:13):
get to you line our pockets with that green back
so we can then pass the legislation that makes your
job and your lobby easy. Okay, okay, okay, are we
explaining this is? I'm I'm new frankly, but I'm hungry.
But I'm hungry except for you, you and I. We haven't.
We have. We've established that this history here, we have animosity. Betways,
(36:37):
that's right, that's right. I'm here. If you're hungry, that
whilen't you're in yours? You I'm a senator. God damn it,
you're gorgeous. Thank you so much. It's moisturizing. Is that
what that is? And it's also a peace I'm on
the right slide with God the Father. Alley, how can
I help you? I'm gonna need a lot of money, honey, Okay,
(36:59):
I get my check book and go, h three million dollars.
You know what I'm gonna doesn't like that's your personal check.
I'm gonna add. I'm gonna add one exces zero. What
do you say that's going to make that out million
millions dollars? I'm not you got that much money in
your personal one extra zero million. I'm trying to get
(37:21):
to a Bokay, you're riding a fake novelty check as well.
You're trying to get to a billion, you're gonna have
to add another zero on it. Okay, when if you
hand the tequila? I did so strange you are still
in this country and the bowl of nuts was for you.
I outrank all these farmers. Thank you so much. Anything
else here is your check? Did you know that lemon
(37:41):
wedgers have more joms than anything else in the restaurant?
I have a void that Now, what's it gonna take?
Thank you for the check? By the way, three billion
dollars on to make you happy? What's it gonna take
to make me well? So? I think a lot more
than that fancy pin and that piece of paper with
numbers on it. Okay, you tell me what to do
and I'll do it. Now I've asked you or lobby. Yeah,
your organization, the National Rifle Associations an association to come
(38:07):
to my house and hang out, and no one from
that association has a grace their presence on my doorstep.
That's downright disrespect. Looks like I was a problem the
hospitality situation. I represent four hundred thousand Americans, all voters,
all of them going on us Now, how would you
feel if all of them decided to say something, you
(38:30):
know that they weren't going to vote, and they weren't
gonna get there something I understand we wouldn't like that.
It's so hard to imagine what they might say exactly.
That the congressman is having problems. You don't have to
I don't even have a problem expressing his lack of expression.
That's how different, Senator. I've seen this sort of thing
(38:51):
time and again, and I just have to say that, um, well,
I actually have a check for three billion dollars I
am doing. Okay, thank you so much for your time, Congressman.
Nobody are you leaving? All right? I'll take you now
across town to Larry's House of Guns, where the owner
(39:15):
is trying to explain some new purchase rules to several customers,
one at a time. All Right, I can't just sell
you this gun because this god damn bummer pass some
laws through and I'm gonna have to ask for some
additional things for from you. Okay, First, I D you
know me, Larry, I know I know you made It's
(39:37):
part of the law, So ask for your I D
show me your ready. Well, didn't bring my idea with me.
I came to get a gun. Well, I'm sorry, I'm sure, Josh,
you can't have one. Y'all got any nightcrawlers today? Not
cross round? Thank you. You have to show ida again,
not crawling. Not crawlers. Aren't guns, Josh, Not crawlers. You
can't be the same thing. It's close hunting and fishing. Yeah,
(40:00):
they're bait. Al right, Fine, Josh, I'm gonna sneak you
a gun, but next time I want you to bring
your inn I D and you gotta follow the loss
like this is how D work for me, Gary, This
is how i D work for me. You gotta get
your own I D. In fact, I'm not gonna be
able to give you this gun to you now, Josh,
because now Gary's a little guy. Damn snitch. Thanks a lout, Gary, Hey,
(40:20):
you had that my bad get Now I'm a shooting man.
But what about a rifle? Can I get a rifle? No,
you need to get Listen. I hate to say it,
but you gotta have an I D for any of
these things. So bring me in. All right. Well, let's
make it simple and just give me three assault rifles
(40:41):
from all of the day. I can't sell anything without
an I D josh part of me, part of me,
part of me. I would like a gun. Please, you
look pretty fancy. Let me see your I D there.
Who you're from Illinois? Yes, I'll take um a clock? Please?
(41:01):
Fuck you? Is the problem? I can tell you know?
You know what you don't Some of these worms are
dead there. I mean you're gonna put him into waters?
Dead worm? My money back? Can you do a re fun?
Can you do a refund? No? I can't do no
ref fancy guy, some of my worms are dead. How
(41:21):
can I help you with that? I made a refunda.
This caused me three fifty What you need that rock
for narc I'm a n oh yeah, so you just
failed the second part of the test. First is the
I D seconds. I'm supposed to annoy you. See how
angry you get night to you. I'm not giving you
(41:42):
no gun. It's my job, gentlemen. How can I help you? Well,
my car don't have much gas in it, and uh,
my roof all tinted. I mean within the store. Give
me five dollars for three fifty words of worms? You
need a gun? I like a I'm looking to get
a gun as well, all right, let me pull up
(42:04):
my app here, I will take a picture of you,
and I will print you up an I d right
now as I sound voice excellently that that kind of
solves a lot of my problems. I thought you were
a narc I am, well narc app is that I
tell him. I tell him, I tell him people bad
guys at nark all the time. I'm an arcoto office.
(42:25):
I say, stuff, All right, there you go cool. What
do you say, cheese jails? He said, chills? There you are,
Sarah say cheese chills? Are? I don't need one because
I already just got warms. I don't even in my
ida for that. Let me see your um. I ate
it all right here, look at me there you are. Good. Listen, Bert,
(42:52):
you're coming in here giving everybody these damn I D
s who you can narc on? You get a nark
on me for taking these. At least I'm gonna knock
on people who aren't giving guns to people. Oh yeah, well,
I thought you were some sort of damn snowflake from Illinois.
We take you now only two yards away, but out
into the woods as pairs of deers, bears, and rabbits
(43:14):
are on the lookout for hunters. Oh no, no, I
hope they don't catch just oh no, it's so cold
out here. They're gonna catch you. They could definitely. Just
don't understand it. Don't have any meat of my bones anyway?
Is why do they want to kill me here? They
(43:35):
just want to killing their monsters before we're dead. I
want to tell you, the last two weeks have been
really special. Really. Yeah. I have a lot of one too.
We had so many babies, So many babies. How they
grow up so fair? Yeah, there come two bears. Well,
(43:59):
I'm just so goddamn hungry all the time. Man, I'm
really hungry, man, really tired. Yeah, I'm tired of looking
for food. It's exhausting. Maybe you know what I say,
funk it? Let him take us out? What I mean,
I'm done, man, Rob, What the hell are you talking about? Done? Running? Man?
I'm done? Man? Eating sleep? And what the hell? One
(44:22):
of my kids is always gonna die, you know, I
know that. It's just like, it's just how it goes. Look,
traditionally we work alone, but the two of us, I've
been inseparable. It's been a fun ride. It's been a
fun ride. And would you. I mean, look, would you
get a salmon like when when one of them like
(44:43):
jumps up against the stream, like right in your paws.
You know there's nothing like it. Yeah, God's magic. You
know it's God's magic. Guys, guys, you know I don't
usually talk to you guys. What Oh, this is it?
This is it Marshal's mind. I can all take this.
Get on a run. I got it, I got one
of my sides. Take the shot. I'll do this for God.
(45:08):
Take the goddamn shot. I do it for Marshall and
all the little lun bun. I'm not having a hard
time getting some momentum going, Marshall Rod, he's not trying
to run. This one's right in my face. It shot figger,
You shooting pink, son of a bed? Shot d No,
you got it? Looking for the rabbits, the ones coming back. Wait, wait,
(45:31):
the other bears get away from you. Leave him alone.
They're doing a lot of growling, a lot of a
lot of go for one of the rabbits, you son
of a bed. I'm gonna go in this Holly now
you missed you? Oh no, so please nice shot? Feeling good? Okay, Okay,
(45:57):
we got two more. Come back to base a you
sure you absolutely so? We're you and I are good?
Then yeah, we're wrong because when I left, you were like,
they don't come back. That's why I ask come back. Now,
do I bring I dragged this bear. Just bring the rabbit.
Just the rabbit, this one, this one clarified. Just just
the rabbit. Okay, Marshall, Marshall, Oh Rob, they're gonna collect
(46:20):
me soon. I know what. They're gonna put me in
some walls. They're gonna make you a trophy. You were
so much more than that. So cool. Oh I'm here,
I'm here. I'm keeping you warm. Promist me. You're gonna
love this forest. I will always love this forest. I
forgot my keys. I gotta go back first. You're sort
(46:41):
of a bench. Oh ship malling you. I'm going down.
I'm going take him with you. Good idea. Oh I'm
getting thump him, thump him, sump the shirt out of him.
(47:05):
I got this little rabbit, give me this cute little
fuzzy pants on my neck. All the forest animals descend
upon him, and we go back to heaven for God's
conversation with the hunter. Oh, not looking great here that
you're killing some of my creatures. Creatures and eye huh
(47:30):
doesn't apply to the creatures. They didn't take your eye. No,
but one of the bears killed my son when I
don't have that in I don't have that. You didn't
you didn't see that. I totally missed that. I don't
even have you as having a son at all. Oh.
You know a lot of our stuff got wet last week,
so maybe we missed that. I mean, if the bear
(47:51):
indeed kills your kid, then you have a case. But
what about this adorable bunny. Um? Well, you know, I was,
I was, I was. I Okay, buddy, you're going to hell.
I'm just just the money. Nope, just down to hell.
I'm seen just because of the money. God, you four
o'clocks here. Okay, I'm sorry. I don't have time to
get into why. I just kind of go with my gut.
Sometimes I hate you. Bye, excuse me. I just want
(48:16):
to say, I don't know if you're responsible for all this,
honey here, but this is fantasy. You're welcome. I want
to say, good great mauling. Thank you. I love it
when you fight back. I mean, I was just defending
my territory, and that's why you're here? All right? Yeah,
your friend is not here because he didn't value life enough.
Welcome to hell Man. You hell man? Are you doing arson?
(48:40):
Whenever I want you down here? Your heart looks delicious?
Manifest what hell is? Man? Lot of this? More this?
Feel free to get me a hand job and I'll
hot fudge Sunday whenever you want. That goes for too,
Oh man, this is hell Man. He's Sunday is melting.
(49:06):
I can think of no better way to conclude this
episode of Alchemy. This. Let's go around the table real
quick to say thank you. Uh James Heeney, yep, that's
me on YouTube at the real James Seney, thank you
so much, buddy boy. But Essia Ragling, what are you guys?
Thank you? Dot Com always a pleasure, Hey, Joey Gregama.
(49:30):
You can check us out Bear Supply every second and
fourth Wednesday at nine o'clock. Can I Westid Comedy Theater
Crocus at C A C K O W S K
I thank you, Christopher Rods. Yeah, I'll give a shout
out to west Side Comedy, Westid Comedy dot Com. A
lot of us here on this program, do a lot
of shows there and we're watch shows and we just
(49:52):
love that theater so much. One of my favorites, Rafael
Britt to, what's the name of that side project? Aside
the side? Which side are you on? Project? No, no
D side, like a side B side like I'm gonna
I will decide this decision. No, not the decision. Who
(50:15):
gives a ship man? You don't have a mic? Okay,
it's just dope and everybody and how stuff works network
right to us at your name here at Alchemy this
we'd love to hear from you, right to us, as
many suggestions as you'd like us to perform and mix up. Ah. Yeah,
that's it. That's it for this episode. I want to
(50:37):
thank all the participants and until next time, Alchemy that
Welcome to alchemy. I'm your host, Kevin Paula. Yes that
Kevin paul was that. Yes it's true. Ain't no loving
like the one I got, But get a load of this.
Over the years, I've been annoyingly lucky, you see my
fair share of true alchemy. By definition, alchemy, of course,
is when a person creates something through a seemingly magical process. Well,
(00:23):
my sweet South and North Koreans, like I said, I've
been witnessed to the stuff on several occasions. An example,
you ask sure you're gonna get greedy? Let's see. Ah,
here's one. Before those jackasses at Reese's reinvented candy and
a cup, peanut butter and chocolate had already shown tons
of folks the magic of their union. But I digress.
(00:43):
Not too long ago the idea hit me. What have
I brought together the right creative people and asked them
to make shut up based on my own twisted, demented ideas.
Then perhaps I could offer this as a podcast, a
podcast of seemingly magical process. I'd call it alchemy. Did
you steal that money from a real bank? Well, after
(01:04):
months of tinkering, I'm so very proud to welcome you,
dear friends to alchemy. This let's met a group of alchemist.
Shall we, in no particular order, say hello to James.
He need James? Can I call you Chicken? But you can't?
You know you can't. You proved that you couldn't do it.
Try it again, Try it again, Chicken, but okay, working
(01:29):
on it, and then hold the door. It's Craig Atkowski,
Craig if not now? When? Never? Never? Why It's Chris Alvarado,
Chris House Tricks, mind your own business. That's fair, look
out now it's but that's a ragling ms mss R.
Do you ever stop? Yes? Often, but last, but rarely
(01:51):
the least. There's Joseph Greer, Hey Greer dot com. When
was the last time? Uh? Great question? And you know
I think it was probably like a couple of months ago.
And let's get to our first scene. Shall we? Okay,
open up your secret envelopes? Uh? Today's theme all in
(02:13):
a day's work, as he does, Many a Morning a
public Defender. She Many a Morning a Public Defender played
by Vanessa meets with several newly indicted in County lock
up one at a time. They said I made an
arson oh, I wanted to introduce myself first. They said,
(02:34):
I made an arson. Okay, okay, I'm Jenna McCabe and
Jenna McKay here to change the world, one interaction at
a time. And I've been looking at your file, and
you know what, I don't think people are thinking about
where you're coming from and what you've been up against,
and I intend to remind them. So let's do this.
(02:54):
My name's Scoot. Okay, Scoot. I set things on fire.
They said, I did an arson, I and you did
do an arson. I sat a building on fire. If
that's an arson, I don't know what world I live in, scooped.
I don't love breaking the news to you, but that
is exactly an arson. Um. I still think that where
(03:18):
you go to school, Janna McCabe, you see l a
u ce l A University of California. Yea, and Andrew's okay,
where did you go to school? Scoot? I went to
McKellan Elementary. That's a great one. Um. I dropped out
(03:40):
to help my mama. Oh, I'm going to bring that up.
What did you help your mother with? I don't want
to go off on a tangent, but it's a faceless system.
There's no heart anymore. We're gonna bring the heart back
in it. Let's tell your stories. Setting fires, I helped
my mama set fires. Why was your mama setting fires?
Because she liked to wash it? Amazed McKay, We got
(04:01):
a new one, Thank you, Scoot. This was super fun.
Oh no, Hi, Hi, my name is Felix. Hi. How's
you gonna meet you? Miss mckabe. The first thing you
should know about me is that I just get your file.
Felix Anderson, Felix Anderson's let's get into this. Okay, it
(04:25):
looks like you did a little um money laundring. Are
accused of that? Yes, that's that's correct, that's correct. Yeah,
they say I cooked the books. Uh, you can see this,
tax evasion accused and other things that don't hurt people.
Frankly right, Um laws tricky, but it all, it all matters.
(04:47):
So when we go in there tomorrow, are you pleading
not guilty? I mean I could say I wasn't doing
I didn't do the things I did. I can tell
you this, I wouldn't last a day in jail. I
wouldn't last a goddamn Dale day, Dale, Dale, Dale, Nothing,
Dale Dale is not my partner, No nothing, nothing, Dale
Crunch Dale crench Shaw m cabe the head of white
(05:10):
color crime here in California, Jale Crenshaw. Yes, but I
didn't just that is who that is. I just happen
to say, Dale, did you just admit to working with
Dale Crenshaw. What I'm saying is if you can get
me Dale, I can maybe work with you. You scratch
my back off, scratch here, no problem? Really? Yeah? What's up? Man? Hey?
(05:33):
Hey Dale? That scrazy let you out a person so quit?
Well you know I said, I said, screw off and
then they let me walk out there? How you do it? So?
What's up? But just trying to do some white color
crime in here? Yes, sir, Yes, yes, you are the
white color godfather. Are you recording? Yes? Yes, Jenna in
the earpiece. You know what I know that you are
(05:56):
a busy man. Dale. I don't want to take up
and every time you can't take up my time because
I'm taking these people's money. That was good? Are you
share your request? Um? Dale, I'm in your ear We
gotta get this guy, get him to talking about it. Okay,
So here's what I'm thinking. All right, follow me here
you and I commit another crime. Don't go there. What
(06:19):
you and Felix go farther. You and I break the
law together and commit another crime, you know, like the
good old days, you know, like the first time we
uh we added a couple of zeros to that lady's
check that we stole. You're saying a little too much
to talk, you know at that time I single handily Felix, Felix, Um,
(06:43):
we're friends. We know each other a long time, very
very very long time. That's good positive and we've done
good work together. If I do say someone self, some
of the best you've done, You've done the best work,
you've done, the best word credit you should Dan give
him a takeof sure, I insist Felix, get him to
take off his pain? What say? We we do what
(07:08):
we do best. I don't know why we make love Dale?
Do you or do you not break laws constantly? I mean,
I guess I turned left when I'm not supposed to.
Is that enough? What is that enough of of a
of a of a traffic violation thing to say to me?
(07:30):
After all the love we made? What Felix, what remember
that time you broke all those laws? You've got to
be more specific. Is that good? You be more specific? Feeling?
You have to be more specific? What do you mean? Okay? Okay,
(07:52):
this is scooting your ear again to start a fire. Well,
take you now in the courtroom. Order order, right, Calm down.
Everyone is bullshit. Okay, no more outburst from you, Mr
Crenshaw White, call it criminal or not. You're gonna remain
quiet in my courtroom? Fine? Okay, even to say fine,
(08:13):
But how can I agree? Okay? Well he could nod? Yes.
When I look at you, you nod or give me
a give me an okay sign? Okay, what are we
looking at here? Mr Prescott? Listen, he didn't do any
of the things. It's circumstantial evidence. It's the very best look.
It's enough evidence to bring him in here today. Okay,
(08:33):
he says you, judge, Yes, says I. This is my courtroom,
and and are we here? We are here, So it's
called cooperating. Okay. Let's hear from the just as a reminder,
as your pailiff, whenever you want me to step in.
Just kind of anatomy. Okay, thanks, Tricia, welcome. Okay, Tricia
will fuck you up? Is that a threat? No more
(08:55):
outbursts from you deale, please stop stop getting off of me. Okay,
let's hear from the state. How do you do? Uh?
Jenna McCabe couldn't be here today. She was in a
fire this morning. Oh that's terrible. So I'm here in replace.
I'm new to the case here, but I've looked over
(09:19):
some stuff this morning, and here's the deal. We've got
this man on tape admitting two crimes that he committed.
Case closed, Thank you very much. Not me, not me,
not me? Okay, no, no more you um look, this
is this is an arraignment, so where we're just here
to to set a trial days. What does the arraignment
(09:41):
mean exactly? You are a lawyer, right, that's correct, you're
a public defender. I don't object to that. Okay. Can
we play a little bit of the tape? Yes, yes, please?
Here we go and and so what huh? Yeah, okay,
maybe one time we kissed it and I liked it.
Who gives a ship about that? Hold on a weird
(10:01):
place to start. I'm gonna fast forward. I'm gonna fast forward,
and here we go. It's just a rash. Okay, it's
just a rash. Who gives a crap about what I think,
look if the one thing that that sound in the background,
I think that this is this was when he and
and and Alex were in the restroom together, and it's
a toilet flashing Alex who was Alex? Alex is a man.
(10:23):
He said, nobody, don't worry about the name judge. I'm
not fat of you. Oh. I think he means feeling feelings, feelix.
This is my first day. I was reading the papers before.
I might want to go into law, I don't know,
but justating. I love having a gun. Um. Okay, thank you, Trisia,
Thank you, Trisha, take out that gun waving around a
(10:44):
little bit. Hotel, Yes, thank you, hotel, Thank you, hotel.
Get this, thank you. How they're hot? That's hot. That's hot,
very hot. Okay, ladies and gentlemen. We are now at
(11:07):
cruising altitude, which means I will begin the drink service soon.
Obviously you know that all um drinks are Are you
okay our complimentary excuse me? Are you okay? I'm fine?
Thank you very much, Because in case of emergency, we
need to be able to rely on this man, and
(11:28):
he can't even finish the sentences right. You're here for
our safety. I'm just going through um, something personal, but
that will not get in the way of my taking
care of you all this afternoon, So just sit back,
relax and enjoy the fly. Excuse me, could you come
over here? Yes, I can help you. That tow burned
my hand. Look at how red by wrist is. Okay,
I's hand is. He's very badly. Band. Please give you
(11:52):
some sort of like cream. I'll give you some sort
of like cream. Part of me, m okay, sir, I'm
just want to I'm sorry about that. I know who
you are. I'm a huge fan. I want to say anything,
but I'm a big, big, big, big big fan. What's
your favorite song of mine? I think it's um last
Friday's Friday for my debut album. Yeah, Christmas always comes Christmas.
(12:14):
I gotta tell you. I don't know if this is
too much, but I just right before the takeoff, I
got a text for my girlfriend and she don't too
much too much? Okay, I discuss too much, too much?
Too much? Can I get you a cocktail? You can't,
and you know what, for the rest of the flight,
I want you talking to me, all right, thank you
very much. What would you like to drink? Tarlet I
(12:36):
can use up here. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You cannot
come back here? You cannot, okay, okay, everybody I will
take care of. This is a person. I'm not a problem.
May I have your name? Please? I can't. I can
(12:56):
tell exactly what I'm looking at, Sharante, that's correct. Okay,
how in fifty six b all the way to the
backrod by the bathroom. But guess that's what's the bathrooms?
A lot in it back there. But I have to
go like night stand in front of the cockpit. There's
(13:17):
regulations that say wherever. I won't because I'm an American. Honey,
look at the US did you the flags? Listen to me.
There is a man on this flight who does have
a weapon. And if you get out of control to
think I'm gonna need to get a fly without a weapon,
that's a fly swatter. That's not what is it? That's okay? Security?
(13:41):
Why don't for rich rich Man with your not shirt
resolveds buttons? Okay, why don't you my shirt? Go ahead
and use the restroom. Everybody else I will be will
bring you apologize in advance. What I'll bring you. I'll
bring you some cream. Did you need that restroom. That's
the first class restaurants for love making? Did you ask me?
(14:05):
What did you tell me that I'm telling you of
a hot fudge Sunday. I guess we'll just have to
do it here, babe, I guess. I guess we'll just
have to do it right here in our seats. Whatever
you want your first class I'll right back. Did you
need that hot fudge Sunday before I Climbax? Okay, everybody,
listen up. Look at me, all of you. He's taking
over the plane. Where's the air Marshall? O? God, God, overreacting,
(14:30):
You're overreacting. I just wanted your attention, motherfucker. Come out
your hands in the air, motherfucker here. That's the quickest
way for somebody to get into this guy was just
trying to get their attention. Terry Bastard. Put your hands,
Terry Bastard, Wait, who are you? I'm just a fan
of the Marshalls. Okay, okay, okay, okay, my hands are
(14:51):
my hands are up. My hands are up. Can ask
everybody here? I was just trying to take care of them, right, God?
What does that smell? All right? I'll ask I'll ask sir,
you are they Is he trying to help you or
is he a terrorist? He led some vagabonds the love
making bathrooms. And I asked two times now for a
hot fudge Sunday. And I actually have the ice cream
(15:14):
scoop that can show you right now, make me fucking
just follow me and I'll show you. Keep it. Somebody
about to get their asks you now inside the cockpit
(15:39):
as the two pilots are having one hell of a flight.
I'm gonna press this button right here. Let's see what
it does. All right, Let's see what it does. And
then why don't you turn that knob over there, turning
the other way the other way? This a little button
(16:00):
over here, a little girl from me name. They haven't
called me that in yours tower to flight two four two.
Tired of taken you here? This is out. This is
flight two four two. Show you're planning to do a
little tissue turns. Want to make sure everything is all right,
(16:22):
copy tower. We're just doing doing a couple of tishy
turns for fun. And uh, we're gonna roll it over
and heading on out to the left. That's right, thank you.
I'm going to do a press and a wiggle and Rick,
I gotta say, I love being on your team. Oops,
(16:43):
that's good to be on your team, Marger. You know
that's fine, that's fun. You're wiggled, then that you wiggle
the wrong one. There all these buttons. I just think,
there's nowhere like the sky. Well, it's beautiful, there's nowhere
like this guy. People love the ocean. I love the
ocean of the sky, which is the sky. It's like
swimming in cloud. Twist that one. How are things at
(17:07):
home not good? Get divorced? It's stuff, it's stuff. They
don't understand. They don't understand SkyLife here, no SkyLife, skylfe.
You've been through Dallas for it worth lately, it's been
through me. Let's go up for a second. Let's start
it up. Let's pull that. Meanwhile, back in the back
(17:31):
of coach, another flight attendants is handling the passengers. There.
We've only been compliant. We we've only done what you've asked.
I'm asking you now to hand me that baby. Please
give me the god damn baby. No, rich he's attached
to my breast. Gross, give me the baby squirts in
(17:52):
my eyes. I'll go up, I'll take the baby's place.
You're going to take the baby's place in the overhead compartment. No,
he's started, OK, he's should I do here? Chelsea? I
love you, I love you so much part of me, sir.
What's a? I see you were sleeping on I mean
to wake you. What's a? I'm doing the cross word here?
(18:13):
A three letter word for bird down under. Excuse me,
You're gonna have to give me that pen. You're not
qualified to have a pen on this plane. What does
that mean? It means you can't have a pen? To me,
this could be used as a weapon. Poor people are
(18:34):
making do with weapons, makeshift weapons all the time. Poor people.
Do you mean you're not poor? You can afford to fly?
I get some water? No, no water. There's a bathroom
in the back. You can use the sink. Are you
calming down? Yel you just tell me where you're calming down,
and then I'll calm down. Get your mouth off my neck. Hey, y'all,
(18:57):
y'all Sunday eating mother suckers. Hey, welcome to your new
first class. What the hell? What do you mean? What
the hell? Well? I took down the bed, guys, so
you're welcome. That's a very good job here. Now you
gotta give him back my gun. I don't think i'll do, sir. Listen,
patriotax in your eyes. You read my gun? Hey? Have
(19:18):
you ever read this mack an Amendment? I mean, I
get the gist of it. It's just a right for
you to give me back that gun. That's the wrong interpretation.
I'm going to do the secret knock to let let
the pilots were st and just just flip that one
over there. Oh, you will not believe what Damon said
(19:41):
to me? What did Damon say? He said, Oh, are
you going back to Are you going back to the air?
That sounds just like I mean, I've never met him,
but you've met him. I feel like I have you
here a knock? Oh, I know a good one. Knock knock?
Who's there? Listen, everyone back from thirty two to fifty six.
Listen up. We're taking for this play this ship, all right, Listen,
(20:04):
is our play, goddamnit. We make up the majority of it.
We should have the rights. Listen. You don't seem to understand.
You shut the hell out, light attendant. If you guys
all rush to the back. We've got water. We're gonna
get water, and we're gonna get water. First out of
your body. Yeah, wait, wait, wait, wait, what's going I'm sorry? Um? Um,
so it's point of contention. Point of contention? How many letters? Um,
(20:27):
it's six and there's an R in there. I have
no idea. Okay, but that was for sure email because
it's messed at my other one. It's got to be email.
These are simple crossmo mean no smarty? Is that a clue?
All right? Every suck all the water out, Suck all
(20:48):
that water out. Get a hold yourself. If you guys
take all my water? Who's help us? Stay? What do
you what are you doing? Help us? I'm checking him? Sure,
say you are a leader? Tell us well, y'all to
I'll just getting all the water around. I'll now so
pretty dry. So there's your captain speaking. We're cruising up
(21:11):
the feet and this is your coat captain, just coming
on to say, enjoy the ride. I wish you guys
could see the view that we're seeing from up here. God.
It's beautiful, clear and beautiful, and it's the handiwork of
We believe in a magical, powerful God who created everything
for us and the word of solace. Everything's going to
(21:32):
be okay. We know we're supposed to get you into
Oakland around six, so five and the PM. But it's
so beautiful up here. What made you stay up? We
got a strong head wind and we're not in the
mood divide it, are we right? I'm not bleeding for
my head every Okay, I guess I'll laid his harror. Sorry,
(21:55):
I didn't mean to wake you again. One last one. Um,
it says fence sword. It's always ape. That's that's that's
a class word word. That's so weird. Thank you. We
take you now to the f A a hearing for
the two pilots. So from the black box we hear
(22:15):
that the knock was delivered four times. Okay, well it wasn't.
It wasn't the secret knock that that I was familiar with.
Let's play the tape again. Comes the knock? Oh yeah,
that Damon said that. Yeah that sounds like yeah. I
never met him really, so that was the secret knock?
That was it. I was still listening to us talking.
(22:38):
We were talking. We're pretty sure that's what happened. Is
you weren't listening to the knock? Correct? Absolutely, I understand
the secret knock is too quick reps to get our
attention and then four longer reps. I also thought there
was a graphic accompanying the knocks. I understood that our
screen would show a graphic when we got the emergence
(23:00):
see knock, and I screen was just clear. Skys uh,
And we saved two minutes off that arrival times three
in the PM. Right, cloud, guys, and the baby and
the luggage rack survives. Everybody one? Everybody? You ready for
your first witness? Yeah? All right, come on, this is nice.
(23:22):
All these benches. I've never seen so many benches in
the box. In the box. Please, that's gonna make me
feel weird. I do not like boxes. Okay, I'll sit
on the floor, perfectly safe to sit in the box.
They're not to sit in the box. Please put your hand,
(23:43):
you're right hand upon this Bible please, And it's missing
some of the fun girls about it. There does the
job's hand up? Please? Which morning? Anyone episode? I'll put
both my poles on the book. Nothing not and nothing
to laugh. Great, that's what we're gonna say. So read
to me please, I swear to and then ing about
(24:03):
the church, So help me God or else stick a
tiger or not. That's not that's not the O. I
think it'll work, will it? I don't know. I'm not
gonna lie. I'm gonna lie. Are we okay? Did she
say stick a needle in her eyes? I don't know
if she's tick a tiger in her Is that a
woman that's the same? I don't know if rough? Are
(24:24):
we good? Because before we can continue? Why do you
care what I don't? Why are you all even caring
about what I am wrong? Now? Okay, let's get to this.
Let's get something. I'll say, yeah, everything, okay, okay, Um,
we're so you were you? It says here, I'm sorry,
(24:46):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's my phone. I was probably
my boyfriend and yes I have one. It is also cute.
Let her answer her phone? Sure, yeah, fine, Hi, derease?
What then are you doing? I'm in court room? Their
spinches everywhere? Baby be by noon? I think where's am
(25:06):
I going to be home? Um? It could take probably
it's probably about forty five minutes. Can you just give
me a time? Noon? It's looking good because your kids
already crying? Well, you have some son a look up
in the cupboards under the hi and some brands give
(25:27):
them all and put it all to mix it together,
put a hot dog on top of it, and my
mama loves them. Okay, and yes I'm a mama. Excuse me, pilots,
where are you two going? You're not through. We're just
gonna take a quick break in the Admiral's lounge. She's
take a look out the window with the beautiful blue sky.
We will be back. Are you gonna let them go?
I want rough. I feel like you and I aren't
good to We're not good together. My daughter is nearly
(25:48):
half your ah, and you've been dating. Okay, all right,
we're coming back for this. Wait, no, you guys are
on break. I thought public knowledge she's dating my daughter. Okay,
she's legal age and loves you. No age, so well,
she's twenty one years old. You have a different and
I mean she's twenty one, you know what I mean?
(26:08):
She's like you know, and I was the only one
ahead all m ty and the world was mandaloose. So
we've all been there hunting. Just give her time. It's
just to me. It distracts me from work. And every
time I hear him open his mouth, I just think
about punching him in the mouth. Well, punch him in
the Yeah, I think that. I think everybody here wants
(26:31):
to move on with our day. Absolutely got okay, so
go ahead and give me one all right, can you
open your mouth? That seems extreme? I don't know. Okay, fine,
better art just if we're going to get to that.
(26:57):
But I was told to about the other guy in
ford to be he ulminates the heart that's only readson
I ever even night it. Can we take a look
at the flight similarity, because that's always so cool when
they show I'm sorry I've really hurt him. I'm so
sorry you're bleeding. That's reminded me of the flat right now,
last time I think that much blood? Okay, so how
(27:22):
does my bloody mouth remind you of the flight? Because
the way we're all eating that one guy. We take
you now to another f a interrogation where those two
officers of the court are being interviewed by two more. Okay,
so let me get this story. You punched him in
the mouth. Uh, he gave me permission. Every time you
(27:46):
two are involved in any kind of deposition or prosecution
or any kind of disinformation gathering, you suck it up.
Several hundred cases have fell through the fucking cracks because
you two can't stop a bicker and jawed each other. Well,
I feel better now. I feel like that's an exaggeration
of how many losses, But I feel like we really
(28:08):
ironed out the kinks. You're keeping good pilots on the
ground and you're putting bad pilots in the air. That's
what you're doing. I'm sorry, You're sorry. How how many
stewards need to get eaten alive before this is taken seriously?
Speaking of which, are those kisses for everybody? No, they're
not for everybody? Okay, Dunkin brings them in and they're
(28:28):
bringing them in. No, you got punched in the face?
Are gone? All right? You can take just one of
the basic Hershey kisses? Okay? Who none of the Who
is this young girl that keeps passing by the window?
Who does anyone know who this little girl is? That's
my girlfriend, girlfriend, the little girl. She's twenty one. She one,
(28:51):
She does not look for the record snack. Oh what
the oh my god? I guess a little girl. You
can don't call her a little girl. She has a name.
That's my daughter, that's his daughter. My name is Becca,
(29:12):
beccare baby Becca. How old you. She showed me with
her hands. She showed me with her hands and then
to baky. She keeps me young. I'm sure it's me young.
You know when she sleeps at night sucking some of
her breath. Okay, I can do. That's a favorite. Once
you hang out outside, we have some toys up. I
(29:33):
saw little puzzles. Puzzles. That's great. Look seventeen human beings.
And also a flight attendant died on on on this plane,
and you weren't able to successfully come to any conclusion
about what happened. That's embarrassing. Have you interviewed the pilots.
They are fantastic people. Fantastic people, beautiful people, beautiful, beautiful.
(29:58):
Imagine yourself waiting for a secret knock. That's pretty, let's
be honest, similar to a regular knock. At the same time,
that was the point, yeah, because otherwise if it was
super secret everybody but no, I mean, but maybe that's okay,
You're clearly contradicting your own point, right, I'm just saying
that that's the secret knock. And these guys were looking
(30:19):
at God's magic in the sky, God's magic. What you
laughing and scoffing a Gut's match. I'm laughing and scoffing
at the fact that you're bringing up God's magic. Okay,
let's not pick her too much. I have some in
flight recording I like to play. Sure why was this
brought up earlier? You were talking to Becca? My mouth hurts.
(30:40):
We take you now into the heavens where God is
getting his first magic lesson from the great Larry. Okay,
so how do I make clouds? Larry? Uh? Well, I
can kind of show you how to do. I can
do a card thing if you want a card thing. Yeah,
I don't know making making clouds just I'm I'm a magician.
(31:06):
I'm you know what my kid told me. You could
teach me to make magic. And what I want to
do is make fluffy clouds that look like animals. Right,
So which fucking button do I push? The fluffy animal?
But that? Wow, I could have fun with this. God
(31:29):
the cosmos? You say, God too. Oh yeah, we're more
like than you would think, Larry. You made me in
your image exactly, you get it? Yeah? Would you like
to see that cardon trick um? You know I've sort
of seen it all, But if you want to do it,
(31:50):
I'm a tough crowd. I'm just mourning you. You know
I made life. I thought of platypus. I was just
for fun. So let's see you a little trick. Pick
a card. Mhm h two oclos No, don't. I can
(32:10):
see through them. You don't want me to No, don't?
Ok Dad of the car? Ah please? Okay, thank you? Teenagers? Huh?
How old is? He keeps me on my toes? But
(32:31):
my cows are in this guy? Pick a card? That one?
How's your day? It's okay? Yeah? Do you um have
any plans later on? Oh yeah, okay, nope, too much. Yeah,
(32:53):
they've just it was beautiful, but um mortal style? Can
I get a oh you made it back again? Okay? Uh,
I don't know. I gotta reshuffle. I don't know where
it is. It's right there, yes it is. Okay, that's
the trick. So um oh, Larry, it's kind of less impressive. God,
(33:16):
that's so good. Um uh oh what's uh? Okay? Uh great?
Kausamo seems to have had a heart attack. I think
we can get him back to life quick. CPR. Clear,
(33:37):
what are you doing? I'm trying to do CPR? I
don't know, are off You're hoping his face. I think
it's staying alive. Staying alive. Okay, somebody else get this
position alive. The children are crying, by the way, they're screaming.
I'm just gonna go back to the party. I'll hand
ok kids, hope is okay? Thank you? Well, take you
(34:05):
now to a downtown bar as an n r A
lobbyists meets individually with several congressmen and a senator about
backing their individual campaigns the gin Tonic. Oh yeah, that's
me right here. Thank you. At least nuts are free,
(34:26):
right right, Look, you need something, I got this something.
We go over this every freaking year. We'll take care
of you. I just want to serve my constituents, and
they're all gone owners, so I just want them to
(34:48):
feel taken care Well. I take care of you. That's
what I do. I always take care of you. Well,
Now about is talking about these kids that data out
there are protesting and there's raising a big stink. Fake news.
It's fake I always fake news. But all right, but
(35:09):
then pretty soon won't be talking about it, and then
we're fine. We're supposed to be talking about the amount
of money that's going into your pockets. My pocket that
should be coming back into our pockets. Okay, So passing
legislation and laws, I'll make your job very coustious. I
do believe the parameters have been made clear. So will
you explain to me one more time. I'm giving you money,
(35:30):
You give us money. You line our pockets so we
can pass legislation to make your pockets big on my
pockets supposed to help you If you haven't help my pockets,
I am happy to help you pocket. Everybody's scratching each
other's bags. Okay, so specifically with my organization, say it
the n R A thank you, thank you so one
of my So if I line in your pockets, what
do I get? That's a great question, okay, Senator, I
(35:52):
believe I can pass it on to my friends here.
All right, I was ready to put in a drink order.
I will put in a drink or I would like
a glass of tequila, and then i'd like your ass deported. Sir.
I'm gonna piggyback on that, but add an honored palmer
to the bill, of course, and you, sir, I want
a big bowl of nuts going right up. Now, let's
(36:13):
get to you line our pockets with that green back
so we can then pass the legislation that makes your
job and your lobby easy. Okay, okay, okay, are we
explaining this is? I'm I'm new frankly, but I'm hungry.
But I'm hungry except for you, you and I. We haven't.
We have. We've established that this history here, we have animosity. Betways,
(36:37):
that's right, that's right. I'm here. If you're hungry, that
whilen't you're in yours? You I'm a senator. God damn it,
you're gorgeous. Thank you so much. It's moisturizing. Is that
what that is? And it's also a peace I'm on
the right slide with God the Father. Alley, how can
I help you? I'm gonna need a lot of money, honey, Okay,
(36:59):
I get my check book and go, h three million dollars.
You know what I'm gonna doesn't like that's your personal check.
I'm gonna add. I'm gonna add one exces zero. What
do you say that's going to make that out million
millions dollars? I'm not you got that much money in
your personal one extra zero million. I'm trying to get
(37:21):
to a Bokay, you're riding a fake novelty check as well.
You're trying to get to a billion, you're gonna have
to add another zero on it. Okay, when if you
hand the tequila? I did so strange you are still
in this country and the bowl of nuts was for you.
I outrank all these farmers. Thank you so much. Anything
else here is your check? Did you know that lemon
(37:41):
wedgers have more joms than anything else in the restaurant?
I have a void that Now, what's it gonna take?
Thank you for the check? By the way, three billion
dollars on to make you happy? What's it gonna take
to make me well? So? I think a lot more
than that fancy pin and that piece of paper with
numbers on it. Okay, you tell me what to do
and I'll do it. Now I've asked you or lobby. Yeah,
your organization, the National Rifle Associations an association to come
(38:07):
to my house and hang out, and no one from
that association has a grace their presence on my doorstep.
That's downright disrespect. Looks like I was a problem the
hospitality situation. I represent four hundred thousand Americans, all voters,
all of them going on us Now, how would you
feel if all of them decided to say something, you
(38:30):
know that they weren't going to vote, and they weren't
gonna get there something I understand we wouldn't like that.
It's so hard to imagine what they might say exactly.
That the congressman is having problems. You don't have to
I don't even have a problem expressing his lack of expression.
That's how different, Senator. I've seen this sort of thing
(38:51):
time and again, and I just have to say that, um, well,
I actually have a check for three billion dollars I
am doing. Okay, thank you so much for your time, Congressman.
Nobody are you leaving? All right? I'll take you now
across town to Larry's House of Guns, where the owner
(39:15):
is trying to explain some new purchase rules to several customers,
one at a time. All Right, I can't just sell
you this gun because this god damn bummer pass some
laws through and I'm gonna have to ask for some
additional things for from you. Okay, First, I D you
know me, Larry, I know I know you made It's
(39:37):
part of the law, So ask for your I D
show me your ready. Well, didn't bring my idea with me.
I came to get a gun. Well, I'm sorry, I'm sure, Josh,
you can't have one. Y'all got any nightcrawlers today? Not
cross round? Thank you. You have to show ida again,
not crawling. Not crawlers. Aren't guns, Josh, Not crawlers. You
can't be the same thing. It's close hunting and fishing. Yeah,
(40:00):
they're bait. Al right, Fine, Josh, I'm gonna sneak you
a gun, but next time I want you to bring
your inn I D and you gotta follow the loss
like this is how D work for me, Gary, This
is how i D work for me. You gotta get
your own I D. In fact, I'm not gonna be
able to give you this gun to you now, Josh,
because now Gary's a little guy. Damn snitch. Thanks a lout, Gary, Hey,
(40:20):
you had that my bad get Now I'm a shooting man.
But what about a rifle? Can I get a rifle? No,
you need to get Listen. I hate to say it,
but you gotta have an I D for any of
these things. So bring me in. All right. Well, let's
make it simple and just give me three assault rifles
(40:41):
from all of the day. I can't sell anything without
an I D josh part of me, part of me,
part of me. I would like a gun. Please, you
look pretty fancy. Let me see your I D there.
Who you're from Illinois? Yes, I'll take um a clock? Please?
(41:01):
Fuck you? Is the problem? I can tell you know?
You know what you don't Some of these worms are
dead there. I mean you're gonna put him into waters?
Dead worm? My money back? Can you do a re fun?
Can you do a refund? No? I can't do no
ref fancy guy, some of my worms are dead. How
(41:21):
can I help you with that? I made a refunda.
This caused me three fifty What you need that rock
for narc I'm a n oh yeah, so you just
failed the second part of the test. First is the
I D seconds. I'm supposed to annoy you. See how
angry you get night to you. I'm not giving you
(41:42):
no gun. It's my job, gentlemen. How can I help you? Well,
my car don't have much gas in it, and uh,
my roof all tinted. I mean within the store. Give
me five dollars for three fifty words of worms? You
need a gun? I like a I'm looking to get
a gun as well, all right, let me pull up
(42:04):
my app here, I will take a picture of you,
and I will print you up an I d right
now as I sound voice excellently that that kind of
solves a lot of my problems. I thought you were
a narc I am, well narc app is that I
tell him. I tell him, I tell him people bad
guys at nark all the time. I'm an arcoto office.
(42:25):
I say, stuff, All right, there you go cool. What
do you say, cheese jails? He said, chills? There you are,
Sarah say cheese chills? Are? I don't need one because
I already just got warms. I don't even in my
ida for that. Let me see your um. I ate
it all right here, look at me there you are. Good. Listen, Bert,
(42:52):
you're coming in here giving everybody these damn I D
s who you can narc on? You get a nark
on me for taking these. At least I'm gonna knock
on people who aren't giving guns to people. Oh yeah, well,
I thought you were some sort of damn snowflake from Illinois.
We take you now only two yards away, but out
into the woods as pairs of deers, bears, and rabbits
(43:14):
are on the lookout for hunters. Oh no, no, I
hope they don't catch just oh no, it's so cold
out here. They're gonna catch you. They could definitely. Just
don't understand it. Don't have any meat of my bones anyway?
Is why do they want to kill me here? They
(43:35):
just want to killing their monsters before we're dead. I
want to tell you, the last two weeks have been
really special. Really. Yeah. I have a lot of one too.
We had so many babies, So many babies. How they
grow up so fair? Yeah, there come two bears. Well,
(43:59):
I'm just so goddamn hungry all the time. Man, I'm
really hungry, man, really tired. Yeah, I'm tired of looking
for food. It's exhausting. Maybe you know what I say,
funk it? Let him take us out? What I mean,
I'm done, man, Rob, What the hell are you talking about? Done? Running? Man?
I'm done? Man? Eating sleep? And what the hell? One
(44:22):
of my kids is always gonna die, you know, I
know that. It's just like, it's just how it goes. Look,
traditionally we work alone, but the two of us, I've
been inseparable. It's been a fun ride. It's been a
fun ride. And would you. I mean, look, would you
get a salmon like when when one of them like
(44:43):
jumps up against the stream, like right in your paws.
You know there's nothing like it. Yeah, God's magic. You
know it's God's magic. Guys, guys, you know I don't
usually talk to you guys. What Oh, this is it?
This is it Marshal's mind. I can all take this.
Get on a run. I got it, I got one
of my sides. Take the shot. I'll do this for God.
(45:08):
Take the goddamn shot. I do it for Marshall and
all the little lun bun. I'm not having a hard
time getting some momentum going, Marshall Rod, he's not trying
to run. This one's right in my face. It shot figger,
You shooting pink, son of a bed? Shot d No,
you got it? Looking for the rabbits, the ones coming back. Wait, wait,
(45:31):
the other bears get away from you. Leave him alone.
They're doing a lot of growling, a lot of a
lot of go for one of the rabbits, you son
of a bed. I'm gonna go in this Holly now
you missed you? Oh no, so please nice shot? Feeling good? Okay, Okay,
(45:57):
we got two more. Come back to base a you
sure you absolutely so? We're you and I are good?
Then yeah, we're wrong because when I left, you were like,
they don't come back. That's why I ask come back. Now,
do I bring I dragged this bear. Just bring the rabbit.
Just the rabbit, this one, this one clarified. Just just
the rabbit. Okay, Marshall, Marshall, Oh Rob, they're gonna collect
(46:20):
me soon. I know what. They're gonna put me in
some walls. They're gonna make you a trophy. You were
so much more than that. So cool. Oh I'm here,
I'm here. I'm keeping you warm. Promist me. You're gonna
love this forest. I will always love this forest. I
forgot my keys. I gotta go back first. You're sort
(46:41):
of a bench. Oh ship malling you. I'm going down.
I'm going take him with you. Good idea. Oh I'm
getting thump him, thump him, sump the shirt out of him.
(47:05):
I got this little rabbit, give me this cute little
fuzzy pants on my neck. All the forest animals descend
upon him, and we go back to heaven for God's
conversation with the hunter. Oh, not looking great here that
you're killing some of my creatures. Creatures and eye huh
(47:30):
doesn't apply to the creatures. They didn't take your eye. No,
but one of the bears killed my son when I
don't have that in I don't have that. You didn't
you didn't see that. I totally missed that. I don't
even have you as having a son at all. Oh.
You know a lot of our stuff got wet last week,
so maybe we missed that. I mean, if the bear
(47:51):
indeed kills your kid, then you have a case. But
what about this adorable bunny. Um? Well, you know, I was,
I was, I was. I Okay, buddy, you're going to hell.
I'm just just the money. Nope, just down to hell.
I'm seen just because of the money. God, you four
o'clocks here. Okay, I'm sorry. I don't have time to
get into why. I just kind of go with my gut.
Sometimes I hate you. Bye, excuse me. I just want
(48:16):
to say, I don't know if you're responsible for all this,
honey here, but this is fantasy. You're welcome. I want
to say, good great mauling. Thank you. I love it
when you fight back. I mean, I was just defending
my territory, and that's why you're here? All right? Yeah,
your friend is not here because he didn't value life enough.
Welcome to hell Man. You hell man? Are you doing arson?
(48:40):
Whenever I want you down here? Your heart looks delicious?
Manifest what hell is? Man? Lot of this? More this?
Feel free to get me a hand job and I'll
hot fudge Sunday whenever you want. That goes for too,
Oh man, this is hell Man. He's Sunday is melting.
(49:06):
I can think of no better way to conclude this
episode of Alchemy. This. Let's go around the table real
quick to say thank you. Uh James Heeney, yep, that's
me on YouTube at the real James Seney, thank you
so much, buddy boy. But Essia Ragling, what are you guys?
Thank you? Dot Com always a pleasure, Hey, Joey Gregama.
(49:30):
You can check us out Bear Supply every second and
fourth Wednesday at nine o'clock. Can I Westid Comedy Theater
Crocus at C A C K O W S K
I thank you, Christopher Rods. Yeah, I'll give a shout
out to west Side Comedy, Westid Comedy dot Com. A
lot of us here on this program, do a lot
of shows there and we're watch shows and we just
(49:52):
love that theater so much. One of my favorites, Rafael
Britt to, what's the name of that side project? Aside
the side? Which side are you on? Project? No, no
D side, like a side B side like I'm gonna
I will decide this decision. No, not the decision. Who
(50:15):
gives a ship man? You don't have a mic? Okay,
it's just dope and everybody and how stuff works network
right to us at your name here at Alchemy this
we'd love to hear from you, right to us, as
many suggestions as you'd like us to perform and mix up. Ah. Yeah,
that's it. That's it for this episode. I want to
(50:37):
thank all the participants and until next time, Alchemy that
Alchemy This News
Host
Kevin Pollak
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