October 6, 2020 • 59 mins
A squirrel in the garage.
Shower thoughts go public.
Medieval road trip/spring break.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome. I'm back to another episode of Alcis. I'm your host,
Kevin po to fine sinking feeling? Will you? I mean
I let myself. I let my guard down. For example,
there's a cloud, Yeah, but I digress. Let's mean they're
not going to shout. We in no particular order. Say
(00:23):
hey to Jackie Gonzellas do RUTHI Hey, guys, Uh, what's
your favorite meal you make for yourself? Okay? Well, I
don't make money because my husband's a great chef and
he loves to cook, Thank the Lord. But I am
really good at making piccardio, and I make it with
(00:45):
turkey instead of beef. It's a ground usually beef stew
in a tomato est sauce to delicious Cuban dish served
over white rice. And I make a very good one
of those. Look out. I would love the recipe of that. Please. Hey,
there's Christol Varado, my friend who serves. First time you
(01:05):
made out in a car speaking of bruise, rip um?
I remember it, okay um, but it was it was
in the my my buddy had one of those big
black trucks from like Back to the Future. It was
like like a Toyota four by four clean and had
a camper. I was in the back of the camper
(01:28):
with a girl and he was with another girl and
they went for a walk in the park and this
girl and I were back there. I was very awkward
and very nervous um and then she reached lean over
and kissed me. It was very sweet. And you were
thirty one years old? Hey what he hated the dancing machine?
A memory from a school dance, if you please, Oh
(01:51):
my god, I remember a school dance. I guess it
was probably the November one. I took mushrooms and it
was not a good idea. It was not a good idea.
You you don't even enjoy yourself if you're trying to
act normal. Yeah, the whole time, because the more normal
(02:11):
you try to act, especially at school and a dance,
it's just unenjoyable. In fact, every time I took psychone
thirty two, two years old. No, it's just like any
time you do that at school, you're not gonna enjoy it.
You get your money's worth after school, that's right. This
is the best anti drug school ps A thing. A
(02:34):
few times. Never once did I like going to school, like,
never once did I like it and hes Greig Kakowsky
that time you impressed a teacher by saying this, Um,
you're not making enough money. I support you. I want
(02:55):
to be on the lines with you. Guys. She said,
get back in your seat, nice and last, but put
the lotion on or get the hose. If you think
of lates, it's Joey Greer best in Fleece. Any horrible
first date, you can share horrible first dates. Yeah, I'm
(03:16):
trying to think of one. Um. Uh. I went on
a date and it was it was in Chicago and
I met up with the woman I was gonna go
to nowhere, and I'm sitting at the table and I
think it was just like a diet coke whatever cocoach
(03:36):
drinking and I sipped the coke and then I don't remember,
and I wake up and I'm chained to the bathroom
stall to and there's a bathtub and it's filled with
water and there's a body in it. And then there's
this other person that's the guy from them Yeah, and
(03:58):
the dude from Princess Bride as with me and he's
carry out. There's like a he's like, I don't know
what he's a he's a lead from from Princess Bride.
He's the captain or what pirate? Pirate? What's his name?
Actor's name is Carriell was? Yeah, yeah, I don't I
don't know. And uh, but so we're there and then
(04:20):
I'm like, oh my god, what do we do? What
do we do? And and then like this, there's a
there's a TV and a ton It's like they's play
a little game with me. Let's play a little game
or something that's like that. I don't remember that. They
are parts of this that you don't remember. The only
part I don't believe is that he was. I just
(04:42):
don't believe that. This doesn't make any sense here. You
never left it. That was the early hint. All right,
let's do it on the show Horseship. All of our
scene suggestions to they are gathered from listener emails or
from our Patreon supporters. To become a Patreon supporter of
(05:02):
the show and enjoy exclusive content another perchase, head on
over to patreon dot com slash alchemy this. If you'd
like to submit a scene suggestion by email, please write
to the podcast at your name here at alchemy this
dot com. That's your name here, Alchemy this dot com
you've seen one comes from mister John who wrote, Hello
Kevin two years ago at Big Slick in Kansas City.
(05:25):
That's the fundraiser to raise money for children's hospital, Mercy
Childrens Hospital that spends no parent or family spends any
money for a child suffering from cancer leukemia. It's pretty
amazing charity there, Big Slick. Check that out in Kansas City. Uh.
You speaking of charitable donations, you locked me in the
(05:47):
not locked. You looked me in the eye, thrust out
your crotch towards me, and gave me two enthusiastic thumbs up.
And all of my fifty two years, that was the
best thing that ever happened to me. And I have kids,
kid whoa, I've got to remember that move. Uh. This
(06:12):
event was surpassed a few weeks ago when I heard
the sweet voice of James Heeney singing, I want my
baby back, baby back, baby back. Now this sounded familiar,
so stopped me. A squirrel has decided to quarantine in
my garage and the son of a bitch won't leave.
I cannot figure out how he got in there. My
(06:34):
suggestion is a squirrel in the garage. Now some of
these sound familiar to me because, of course I copy
and paste them from the emails into a dock, so
they're just in my memory. You all seem to get
better and better. Thank you. John Tremper squirreling in the garage.
I look, I just what do you need? Okay, I'm
(06:56):
gonna go in there. I'm just gonna grab some milk. Milk, yes, okay,
please get some milk. Do you get it? You get it?
All right? Look? Uh and for the last time, please
please do not call John after I go over to
his house and get something from his garage. Okay, it's
just he reminds him that I have some of his
tools still, and he doesn't want to let let me
(07:17):
borrow anything. All right, What I'm going to John Tom?
I don't know my neighbor's name, right, Just look all right? Yeah,
see what he is? Oh? What are you going next door?
What the hell is this? But this isn't a god
damn grocery. RUnni here. Okay, I'm going to get some
tools and John Tom's god damn you over there. You're
(07:40):
over there. If you could get the hose, we'd like
an extension so I could bring it further in the backyard.
Let me tell you some right out. Clark. All right,
I didn't watch you out of my house. Okay, you're
my wife's all right husband, Dad, all right, I don't
want you. I'm trying to explain, good why my father
first and then you? Okay, does better if you don't care? Yeah, don't. No,
(08:09):
not your mom, Dad, I forget you tell your grandfather, don't. Yeah,
just list off the things that you're going to bring back. Now, Yes,
that's a good idea, milk, let him do it? Wait, grandpa,
hold on hoes. Yes, somebody go get some tools. No, no,
(08:32):
that chocolate syrup? Hey, Tank, what what can I do
for you? Hey? Yeah? Yeah, just what Papa beautiful? I
don't know if you paid to the house there. We're
getting some work done on the garage right now. We
gotta get a squirrel squirrel infestation, so yeah, oh let's go.
(08:56):
Well you said the groags. Right now, we have got
squirrel exterminators are in there. Who's here, Well it's it's Tank, Honey,
Oh my god, Tank? Hi? That was fast up? Yes, um,
just flew down that banister Mary Poppins style. Isn't that impressive? Tank? Yeah,
(09:21):
it's fine. Yeah, I can put all my weight on it,
which isn't much, right, Tank, I'm tiny. You can just
throw me up in the air. Yeah, I'm kidding. Well
that's that is that they can say that ankle so swollen.
I don't think I should be tossed up in the area.
That's how you have to catch me soon, I guess.
(09:43):
I guess I'll throw you up. I don't know ready
catch me? Maybe you could for once. Maybe I should
just I told you I've got a bad elbow. God,
gonna have to take me to the hospital. You're gonna
have to take me the hospital. Now, I'm supposed to
(10:03):
be here to meet the squirrel exterminators. I don't know
what to tell. Maybe I should just get you excuse me?
Is this y exterminators. I've got a couple of guys
in the van. We want to make sure this is
the right this is the right address. Wonderful? Have him
(10:25):
come and Tank? Can you watch these guys? And you
gotta take me to the hospital. I have to have
somebody here to show me around. This guy doesn't live.
He's been taking my milk from my garage, so who
knows that the garage better? Baby? I mean come on,
do you want me to bleed out? Okay? Uh? Thank you?
Got this? All right? Listen, Charlie, today's your first day
(10:49):
in the job. Okay. As soon as we get the
okay for Roger, we're gonna jump out of this van
and kill these fucking squirrels. You got it? Okay, good,
keep it quiet, keep it quiet. No, I like this.
I like this. You're a thinker. You're a thinker because,
let me tell you something. When you go into that garage,
you think it's gonna be simple, but it won't be.
(11:09):
Have you ever taken a life before? That's right, that's right.
You think about that. Okay, you think about whether or
not you take it a life before because it changes
the man. Roger, Roger, Yeah, I'm all right. You guys,
are you kiding me? Yeah? Okay? Are we going? You guys? Roger,
(11:35):
Charlie and I'm nuts. Are you guys gonna kill them
fucking squirrels today? To send somebody else out? Oh god,
it's the big Boss. You talked to him. You talked
to him. Listen, all right, all right, hello, I'm sorry,
it's there's bad reception here. We're gonna kill some squirrels
(11:57):
you've given me that. It's bad reception bullshit. It almost
sounds yeah, it sounds pretty bad. I mean, I hear you,
but if we talk at the same time, I don't stand.
Let's just clear some things up before we go in
there and take some lives. I'm talking to this guy. Okay,
he's not saying much. I called him Charlie earlier. Okay,
I told Charlie Roger. I said, well, Roger gives us
(12:18):
the signal. That's good. Oh my god, it's okay. Let
me let me tell you you secret. I know your secrets.
I know your secret we know do I know? Mushroom?
I know you're fine. I want to like the vikings there,
my berserkers. I'm going in. Okay, I just fill out
this form right here, and then we'll be able to
(12:39):
get you in. Like, I don't need a wheelchair. My
husband can just carry me. I've got a bad elbow.
Do you have any wheelchairs? My ankle is? We do? Actually,
this is gonna be another form you're gonna have to
fill out if you want a wheelchair. Yeah. Sorry, your
six ft five boyfriend isn't here to hold you, honey.
Oh please, he's just a naper. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend.
(13:01):
That's crazy. Oh yeah, you freak out. Whatever take comes
by and you've been giving him crazy milk that the
whole time. He thinks he can take all the milk
from our garage. Okay, you two, all right, you two.
So I just looked at the X ray. I'm your doctor.
How's my elbow? Um? So I'll get there, I'll get there. Okay.
(13:22):
There's a couple of things really quick. So you said,
uh no, no history of blood of high high blood pressure.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Just I mean, I've been waiting
for a while here on the are I filled out
my form and then these two just getting X ray immediately.
I just, sir, sir, I mean, we know who you are.
We know who you are. Okay, you were here yesterday
(13:43):
and the day before. There's no such thing as surfers ribs. Okay,
just don't go back in the water. Ah, I mean,
you tell that to right exactly, if you excuse me, now,
if you excuse me, Okay, a couple of things. Here's
what's that guy's story. Okay, So first of all, you
(14:03):
you live on street? Is that correct? Okay? Yeah, Well,
there's no streets. Oh, I have an O. S. T. Period. No,
it's not the end of the street. We don't live
on the street. We just live in Okay, it's just okay, depending,
it's just the name is pending pending. Should I just
(14:23):
wait up and there's way outside? Or first of all, sir,
we can't see you if you're still wearing a wet suit. Okay,
you refuse to take that kneopren off. It doesn't read
in the X ray machine. Yeah, get back in land,
silver server. I broke my dick take a number. Oh god, yeah,
all I'm gonna get right to it. So the X
ray show, uh fractures and on Who's because honestly, I
(14:46):
thought of both of your hearts? What what? Your bones
are weakened because they're not getting enough blood because the
heart isn't pumping enough blood, because you're falling out of
love with each other. Now that's just what the X
ray show. I guess it has been seven years. Mm
hmmm mm hmmm. H yes, I think I just can
(15:10):
have to go get my host myself. Maybe maybe I
could pick up your things said, no good husband, and
yours doesn't seem to be very good at anything. Dad
if you want the hus go get it about going on?
Do you want me to get you milk? And I'll
get you chocolate syrup and then you'll be the hero. Yes,
let's do that. All right, I'll go over there. I
just got a quick sneak into that garage. All right, guys,
(15:34):
what do you say? Let go take some lives? Charlie,
look at me, Look at me. He's crying, Roger, he's crying.
And that makes sense because you're about to do something
the first day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, Roger on
your signal? All right? And did you hear that? That
is that the big Boss? Yeah? Again, this is Roger
(15:56):
the Boss, Charlie and face to go in there and
kill that squirrel. Okay, Charlie, I know he's I know
he's talking to you. And this is your first day. Okay,
don't worry about it. And yes, your media boss's name Roger,
and so is the big Boss. Don't get that. Don't
let that get in your head. Okay, you are a murderer.
You're about to take a life of a squirrel or
any other road it we come across, Roger, shall we?
(16:19):
I think we see that makes sense? That happens because
you're both named Roger, Roger Roger right right? It gets crazy,
all right, So I'm sweating right now, but I think
that maybe I think maybe Charlie should have one of
these caps. He usually gives me courage when I have
to go into a fight when he's already eating it.
(16:40):
My guy that was here supposed to take one cap,
he just eat half a bagh shit. Oh, it's really cool.
Are you two want to like kind of rekindle our
relationship and all that? And I honestly think that, like
you know, like wall climbing and just like you know,
scaling ship, it's like such a great way to connect
because it's just like you the mountain face, and like
(17:02):
we support each other mentally and emotionally. Right baby, now,
is it safe to climb this wall? Wouldn't even answer
my question with with broken hearts? Uh? You know, uh,
this guy followed us from Yeah, all right, it's been
(17:24):
a crazy we'll tell me about it. Honestly, I have
whether there was a guy in a wet suit who
had been there for three days in row and he died.
He ended up dying, He had a lacerated liver that
they just wouldn't wouldn't see got him. Yeah, it's nuts
all right. So we're gonna have uh you young lady?
(17:44):
Oh my boys, by the way, you're going to climb.
Can I just say if you could guess my age
right now? I asked him to guess. Sorry I missed that.
I think he would have probably even gone to twenty
if he wouldn't have had your voice in his ear.
Oh my gosh. Uh so you you don't own this house.
(18:09):
You're just you're overseeing the master. Yeah. Look, man, I
just need to get some some Maybe you let us
in there first. How about I going first, because you
don't know what you're going up again, so you were
taking the life before oka human life. You can go
(18:33):
in first. Okay, Holy shop, you're bringing back a lot
of memories. So I think Charlie went in. I don't
want to interrupt, but I don't know where Charlie said.
I think he went in there. I think he's killing
stuff in there right now. Oh shit, I think that.
Alvin Simon, he squirrel. You're not squirrels. You're not squirrels
(19:03):
at all. We are the chickmunks. Step out of step,
out of it. You're tripping balls, man, are you talking
to me. You're talking, you're talking. You're talking to a
goddamn tire iron. You might not realize it, but I
think there's an old man. And I hear a voice
(19:25):
in the garage. Alright, listen, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not.
I don't know. Maybe I've gone off the rails here.
I'll understand that we've been authorized to kill every thing
in this garage. Now, I doubt there's an old man
in there. But if you're tripping so hard you see
an old man, go ahead take him out. Okay, are
you sure? Yeah? Of course, I'm sure. I'm the only
(19:45):
one who's not. Charlie did VOI don't kill me, Please,
don't kill me. I mean, I'm not gonna say what
I think I hear tank, Thanks for holding down the fort,
how and everything? Go? Yeah, I gotta be honest. There's
a there's guys in the garage. Were strong hands? Come
(20:12):
on mon? Yeah, I did I trying. This is what
gets me there? Then, this is what gets me there.
I just went wall climbing with you, Yeah, and you
dropped me. I have a bad holbow now ankles. And
this guy I told you to lose him. I think
he's just part of the family. Now, Well, if that's
(20:35):
what's going to bring us together, all right. So I
got a screwdriver, I got some milk in a ball,
some chunk with syrup. Yeah, I'll I'll fill up the
junk out of your tank. Hi, Mrs built More. Um,
it's about Charlie. I know you don't know me, and
I know you know today was his first day on
(20:57):
the job as an exterminator. Um, Charlie was a good man.
I don't want to tell you that. I can tell
by your look. You know he was a good man.
Of course, he was the best. He was the best.
I'm glad you're using the word was, because I'm glad
you're speaking about him in the past tense. They didn't.
(21:19):
Charlie died doing what he loved to do, surfing. And
that's the one who see two comes to us to
patron al Camaniac. Well, brace yourself because he's just upgraded
(21:44):
from v I p Alcmaniac. You know him, you love him.
David Roger, who wrote to us, I'm not sure if
I should keep pitching ideas that don't work or go
back to speed drawing. Pick years of you reminiscent of
a fever dream. Anyway, here goes, shower thoughts go public.
(22:08):
Thanks gang, love you all. Okay, let me just go
over the chart with you again real quick. As you know,
we've been studying dream state here at the Institute for
six weeks, and um, you've been with us from the beginning,
so thank you for that. Uh, but we've seen an
(22:29):
increase over these six weeks in your chart alone when
it comes to your dreams that you've shared with us
versus what's happening in your real life. So in week one,
you said you dreamt about a squirrel in a garage
who took three lives, one of which was your father,
(22:54):
and then in real life, your father passed away in
his garage. In week two you said, oh, you dreamt
that while surfing. Okay, can I just ask really quick
before you even go further to I have superpowers? Are
you saying I have superpowers? Am I making these things
(23:16):
come true? I'm not allowed to take the anticipation any longer.
I'm not allowed to give you a diagnosis. You have
to figure this out for yourself. Is that what you're
feeling you may have super You guys, were the scientists.
I didn't even draw the conclusion. You're right, I did
dream about that, and then my death did die. Yes,
but in week two, you dreamt that you were surfing
(23:36):
and your balls came out of your wet suit, and
in real life they didn't. I exposed myself in front
of a group of people. Yeah, oh my god. I
think my dreams have the power to make things come true. Right,
Oh my god. So let's talk about what you dreamt
this week. Week six? Okay, well it was pretty simple.
(23:57):
I dreamt that I became the boss of this laboratory
and everyone had to start answering to me because I
became the expert part of my boss. Um. So we
have two more patients in. Yeah, did you want them
to fill out the paperwork or do you wanted to
speak to them right away? Oh my god, it's happening now.
(24:20):
I would like to just speak to him right away.
Thank you. This is happening fast. This is happening fast.
I'm already boss around here. Okay, hi, you two come
on in. Uh, we just referred to him as boss.
He's the boss. Um. Now, this is Philip, and and
and what was your name again? This is Sandra, This
(24:43):
is Philip and Sandra. I'm so sorry, m Philip and Sandra.
This is the boss. Now. These two um say that
they would like to have their dreams worked on. You
know what really institute? Yeah? Really? Wherein? All right? All right,
(25:03):
we'll leave me privately with them and close the door.
You got it? Okay? I'm sorry you need something? No, No,
I didn't need anything. Close the door behind you and
make sure you're far the way. You can't hear in,
got you? Because I just did that and then you
and I heard you speak, so I wanted to make sure. Well,
then you weren't far enough away from the door. I'm sorry.
(25:24):
I just shut the door again, did you I just go,
go go. Can we ask you something? Yes? Please? Is
this a dream? Oh my fucking god. I didn't even
anticipate that could be the thing you dream? Is it
my dream? Is it his dream? His dream? Is it? Okay?
(25:48):
This is getting serious. I signed up for an experiment
where they were going to study my dreams and we
were told you're the boss of dreams. So that dream?
Is it the boss or the non boss? Who's the boss?
I mean, I think it's me, but it's also possible
that I'm dreaming right now. I was going to tell
(26:11):
you guys that you should get out of this whole
experiment because I've gathered powers that are supernatural. Die. Did
we die together? Did we die? Did we get impaled
by one thing that impaled us? Both? Got a great idea. Uh, doctor,
(26:31):
you'll see here that the three patients seem to be
communicating while asleep. Um, now this is as far as
since that you can go. We brought you in because
you're the specialist. Now you'll see that this has to
go problem. Sorry, this information has to go public. With
all due respect, we're still in the phase where we're experimenting.
(26:54):
We don't know what it means just yet, the experimental dreams.
That's right, we're in the experiment I always yet which
so you can see right now they seem to be
communicating because their brains are lighting. Obviously that it's like
a like a simon. Can can we eat those lights?
Or no? I'm sorry? Is there are those lights? They
(27:17):
look very I don't want to question your expertise, sir.
I've read all of your journals. This has to go public.
In what capacity are you you're saying we need to
start publishing our findings so early on. Sorry interrupt sir,
there's a giraffe in your corolla. Mhm am, I are
(27:41):
you the boss of dreams? Am I the boss of dreams?
I'm just really, I'm just relaying a messy. Are you
in a dream right now? Not as far as I know,
although I don't remember where I came from and I
don't know where I'm supposed to go right now. M
Now look at the lower out of my body is
now squid. If anybody's gonna know how to get to
(28:03):
the center of the get to the center of what
say it? And if you look to the left, that's
the reception area of the center of the canch. Now
we're going to proceed with our tour, and if anyone
(28:23):
has any questions is short for consciousness. That's actually an
acronym can overcome nothing? Surely hero, I had no idea.
(28:44):
I had no idea. So um, that's just one of
the fun facts that you'll learn here on this very
tour as we proceed going for I have a question
about the reception right there to our last uh so
that looks like a maple oak blend. If I'm not
(29:05):
mistaken on the on the front facing the end of
that reception desk. Is that yes, yes, that's fantastic, really nice.
Viner too, just shines, pops. I have a question as well.
All of the other people on this tour are people
I went to high school with, including one one guy
who died in a car accident. Is this is this
your dream? Is this a dream? Isn't that funny? Um?
(29:30):
What is a dream? And what is it? Then? I
guess well, if conch means can overcome nothing, surely hero,
then absolutely this is a dream. But if conch means perhaps,
thank you everybody thanking for gathering here today. All right,
keep it down, keep it down, please, please keep it down,
(29:53):
Please keep it down. As you know, it is approaching
six o'clock in the morning Pacific standard time. In two minutes,
the Great Awakening will occur. Everybody who has been asleep
in this institute will be woken up simultaneously. Now, we
don't know what this might happen. Now I don't know. Yeah,
(30:19):
we don't know what this might We don't know what
this might happen. Can I court you on that, sir? Please? Please? Do? Um?
I want to I want to take one moment here
before the great awakening occurs to thank each and every
one of you for your work. Honey, who are you
talking to? I mean I can barely hear you over
the shower water, but you just said something about a
(30:41):
great awakening. What's happening in there? Uh? Just singing a song? Okay,
because I don't know it, but it sounds deep. This is?
This is what I mean? Uh, Sam, we need a
little private time, so this is don't want to have
to explain myself in my private time. Oh okay, So
(31:05):
shower thoughts are all yours and I should stay the
funk out that. I mean, they don't have to be babe,
if you want by sir, sir, are you gonna use
conditioner or just shampoo? I'm gonna please. You should answer
from your own everybody you can see what's happening my
with you? Okay, all right, everybody, Well we have lessons.
(31:28):
Do you use the same bar of soap for your
faces with less than sixty? All right, you two have
a great idea. Since it's dream, all I have to
do is kill you with these your shorts and there
will be no consequences because oh I'm I am my dad.
(31:51):
We're dead. Roger Um, I've talked to the judge and
it seems like you are. You are serving those twelve
back to back back back to back to back to
back to back to back to back life and uh well,
sure sure, Roger. You stabbed two people with I mean
(32:13):
Claymore's that's there's a huge swords and uh look, I
get it you're high on all right, but I mean
if we look at your history, you were in that
garage with your two co workers who were just charred up,
cut up, and then now we've got another double homicide
in their in their garage. You I don't to Nolan.
(32:37):
Um gosh, I've been here a while. I feel like
I can call you Chris. Is this all you have
for us today on your Inception sequel ideas? Or because
I don't want to jump in before you get to
the end of what happens. I mean, we're building, we're
building towards something, you know that that I think is
(32:57):
pretty clear whether this is heading right. Uh so it's
not clear, So I guess that's what I'm saying. I
don't want to jump in anymore. Please continue, Oh really,
because the the the midway point is the right time
to assess a Christopher Nolan joint. Okay, yes, that's what
I remembered, and that's what I was trying to accomplish.
(33:18):
So I have a couple of questions. Yes, yes, by
all means, I'm sure the film will answer them. But
but but while we've stopped the film, like, let's let's
go ahead and just address what are your concerns at
this point. The swords they seem too big. Well, they're
claim as they're they're known to be large swords. Nolan,
(33:38):
Mr Nolan, Sorry, there's a voice in my head talking,
please to wake up. It's time to wake up from
your nap. It's time to feed the kittie cats. All right.
I think I think this is a dream right now,
So I think you're not an actual executive, and I
think somebody is trying to accept me and tell me
(33:59):
that my sequels a terrible idea. Uh now, I'm going
to wake up, feed my kiddy cats, and get back
to reality. Alright, Good luck, God, damn man, where the
hell may you? Damn you got, Christopher, no awakening. You
(34:20):
can overcome nothing, surely, hero, Amen, turn that goddamn brading off. Man. Listen, man,
let me do someone. Look man, I'm dom sick and
tired of you. Goddamn Christopher Nolan. So many movie ideas
from these dreams, but they're all just sequels of Christopher. Prisoners, Prisoners,
keep the Down, prisoners, new fish coming through, double homicide,
(34:45):
new fish coming through. Get in there. I Uh, I'm Roger. Everybody,
welcome him to the prison, first time, the first time.
Here come hey, Roder, turnaround formula. Okay, there's a troll
(35:12):
BHD you. Oh yeah, thanks, Okay, holy sh it, all right, listen, baby,
I don't. I just want to stop you real real quick.
I don't. I don't think this person went okay, but
I don't want to hear about your dreams again. This
(35:33):
has become like an every morning thing, and I love you.
There's a vivid I just want to share with you.
I just want to share up that piece of me
with you. It doesn't resonate with me nothing lands Do
you know what I mean? I mean, it's it's my
deepest thoughts, from my most inner subconscious and you're saying
(35:56):
that doesn't resonate with you. Do you see how that
hurt hurts me? Because that's like, that's who I am,
but who I didn't even know I was. Look, I
don't now I hear you when you were sleeping. Last night.
I went on web MD. What I look at some
of these simples peopleth been having. I think maybe, Um,
(36:17):
I'm not a doctor, but I think maybe we're both
suffering from a broken from our hearts. Our hearts aren't pumping. Well,
wait a second, I am a doctor. Let me take
us to my office and I'll run some tests. I mean,
if you think people, it looks here are e kg
(36:39):
s are pretty clear? Actually, okay, we're having no problems there.
It's really steady rhythm. Okay, then I guess maybe maybe
it's just me. I'll run more tests. If that's what
makes you happy, that's what I'll do. But what makes
me happy is what makes you happy? Except the dream park? Well,
(37:01):
what makes me happy to sharing my dreams. Okay, this
is a bit of a h I think I wanted
to wait. Just wait one second. Sometimes they revive, don't
(37:24):
start CPR, do not start CPR, do not resuscitate. Right
now we have to wait. Do you think that he's
just gonna wake up? Do you think he's just gonna
let me? Sometimes sometimes they don't know. I wow, I
thought you had my back and then you completely flipped
on me. Guys, Relax, I'm a doctor, Okay, I swear
(37:47):
I'm a doctor. And these hands look like fish fins
for no reason. It's fine, right, But doing no harm
means we should get in there and try to reastout him.
Do you know how much harm actual resussity Asian does make?
I mean, you crack ribs worse than I ever could. Well,
let's stay away from the ridge, Tommy, Yeah, why don't
(38:10):
you guys start some pulses, some compressions on his abdomen.
I heard asshole. Did you hear that, Tommy? I heard abdomen.
But I'm down for the asshole. Let's let's uh, let's
just flip him over and get to it all right.
(38:31):
Oh my god, I'm telling you right now, I am
just not sleeping. Well, I don't know what it is. Uh,
it's crazy. I haven't slept in the past like three weeks,
not a wink. I have not slept at How do
you want your eggs done? Um? I'm talking with a
little bit of hot dog pieces. Don't We don't do bacon.
(38:53):
We could do sausage. We can do chicken sausage. Or tomatoes. Well,
you have a sausage, we do a sausage. I mean,
it's so just make a hot dog. We don't have
hot we don't have hot dogs on the menu. What
do you mean why don't we have chicken sausage? I admittedly,
it's pretty close. It's pretty that's not a chicken. What
(39:17):
kind of toast? But you have h um let's see,
I guess to do a wrap a rap? No, I
mean we have wrapped, but you ordered, you ordered the
two egg pladder mm hmm, yes, I did. I know
what I ordered. Okay, just give me some eggs with
(39:38):
sausage and let me have toast rap toast wrap and
what kind of potato? Oh kind of potato? I guess
I'll do this right. Home fries or again, you can
do a sided tomatoes. Oh, let's do regular fries. Let's staut.
(40:06):
Do you have yes, I said, and you have home fries.
Seemed like, okay, I want a hot dog, but you
have sauceage, so there's no hot dogs. I'm saying, give
me steak cut fries and you can't do that. But
you have hash runs and you have home fries. Do
you see the problem? The problem is that I'm a
giant hot dog and you're talking to me trying to
(40:27):
order you know what. I think you've finally fallen asleep,
and that's the end of the bloody movie. Any fucking questions,
I don't have any? Do you have any, Steve? I
don't have any? Okay, we love it all right, So
next time, can I play the whole fucking movie before
(40:49):
you interrupt me? I think you're right about that one
question though, if I may, Yes, at any point during
this where we see pieces of hot Dog, Yes, yes,
there's going to be there's going to be a whole
marketing tie in, okay with Johnsonville Brats. Yes. Oh, I
(41:11):
actually had a question. Now I know that you didn't
ask me if I had a question. Do you have
a question? I have? I actually have a question, Mr Nolan.
At the beginning of this presentation, you spun a top
on the desk and it actually hasn't stopped spinning. And
this presentation has been about four hours long, and it
doesn't seem to be slowing down. You dress is a
(41:32):
bloody dream. This is a bloody dream, isn't it? Oh no, no,
it's it Is this a dream? It's still spinning. Okay, okay,
you too, you're gonna have to get out of the right,
(41:54):
you too, are gonna have all of US's gonna have
to get out with any hot dogs chopped up inside dog?
What what the hell are you talking about? Dogs? Where's
the pop over the hot dog? I don't know, I
don't know, I don't I don't know. Bring me a
(42:15):
slushy with hot on top. I'm not gonna bring you
with slushy with you. It's gonna melt. Haven't had, I
haven't had, Senior. It's marketing. What is the marketing people
in the seats? Where is everybody? It's just over and
(42:37):
over over again, and a bunch of rons. There's like
twenty five ron's here. Now listen. Okay, I'm a snake. Okay, yeah,
snake and baby do you think that's a pro head
that's on you? Snake, your cobra head, snake python body.
(43:01):
I'm out of here. I'm out of here. I'm agin
and that scene too, uh. Hot dog pieces broke Chris
so much that he froze onto Zoom was just laughing.
I thought he was laughing in that position, trying to
enter again for seven minutes. No that's not trying to
(43:23):
read it. I don't know what's actually he really is frozen?
What if he isn't frozen? What if he's still laughing?
From Hot Dog Pizza. See three comes to us from
Emmanuel from Sweden, who wrote, dear Alchemist, first of all,
from the bottom of my heart, and then all caps,
thank you, thank you regular caps for all the laughter
(43:46):
you bring us. You're all great and I love you all.
Doesn't that sound like more like Swiss than Sweeten Switzerland.
My scene suggestion a medieval road trips slash spring break,
Thank you you, kindly, Alchemist, Manuel Gonzalez from Sweden. By
the way, is Joey Band from Instagram? Couldn't find him?
That seems right? Yeah, the answer is yeah, I gotta
(44:10):
I gotta got a problem with this. Zach oh, the
zach sweet, the Zack suck Um. Yeah, here we go,
medieval road trip springbray. It's just going to be wild.
I can't believe it. We've all got to give up.
We're gonna go and have just pails and pails of ale.
(44:34):
It gonna be wiled. This is going to Why do
we need to travel for the ale? Don't be such
a party but we're going to have goblets and goblets
of ale. And I brought these two maces just for fun.
(44:57):
Jesus Ale, phone around, see what happens, shake it up?
And besides, all the women are in Canterbury a good
points can can' bris it's just funtistic. Look and now
(45:22):
this is a big borrowed my dad's horse, and we
can't funk up my dad's horse or your dad? Is that?
Is that happening? I take away because we're sucking your dad. No, no, no, no,
holy sh it, what the hell? No, no, make your mind?
(45:45):
What the fog was? Are my a dream? Did I know?
The whop? Again? Yeah? A little bit? Are we still
bringing this guy on the road trip? Seems like a
bit of a of course, wheel looks like a bit
of a wet blanket. I got the blankets. They're not wet. Okay, well,
(46:09):
all right, you guys are gonna be taking my horse.
You guys are gonna be taking my horse off, screwing briad.
All four of us are going to jump on that horse,
says your dad. We're talking. Excuse me, No, bastard Topkins
will take good care yours? All right? All right? I
(46:30):
think maybe you should put the carriage on. You should, Oh,
we could take the kid. Normally I wouldn't the carriage
cage six? You would seek six. You would if it's
six people, think about how much ale it would see
barrels and barrels. Of there's there's one four of you.
(46:57):
Take one spot forward would be for ale and I.
There's enough room for one more person. Your dad's not
coming right getting shut up? Shut up? I didn't ask
to combat. Are you awful? Do you mind if we
just who? I think wish you get? Going twelve years
(47:18):
older than I feel bad for him and his wife died.
He's really lonely, But you're not going to try to
find new mom for yourself. He's gonna try to find
new mom for you with your daddy from her death.
(47:40):
Or is he that's really fucked up to bring up
my I mean he was rather suspicious my first you
want to my dad. Don't want to know if he's
been exhonerating My mom was a witch? Well, but the
(48:01):
boozers were on the back of her head. Yeah, so
that's stuff. What funk? Is this a forensic side? She
wasn't a witch because she burned up, right, that's exactly right. Now,
get this horse attached to the carriage, and I want
a better attitude. Want to come back with it? Okay,
(48:23):
you take it there to go find a new mom
or we could just cut and run right now, he's
trying to hook up the carriage. Is all four jump
on the horse forget Well, he just took the horse
to the carriage. You want us a dead sprint? Another
option as we then go, okay, what is that with you?
And now we're going to have an influx of young,
(48:50):
disgusting people into cancer as they celebrate. Was just spitting
at the disgusting show. Yes, it's it's spring break, Archbishop.
Spring breaks as surprising not that many people are excited
about East Star as they are about spring. I believe
(49:14):
it corresponds to the to the vernal equinox is heresy,
you've you've you've burned me many times and I haven't
do You haven't burn so that's your I guess the
(49:36):
only way they test is to burn me again. Let's
check him. Wait, why don't that You want to check
his Alright, we've done that too often. Nothing is up there.
Now let's get back onto this docket before we burn you.
We have to decide what you're going to do about
all these disgusting children running around. Soyer lean the holy
(50:00):
line that can prepare? Well it does? It does? Out
of business to the town. Oh business, yes, if we
put a closed sign, but we do count on the business.
Oh my god, how many boils do you have? Done?
(50:21):
They just it's it's their boils, the boys boys, I mean,
what are they giving you an opportunity? Boils? What is this? Oh? No, what?
Obviously maybe we should have it so that we put
(50:41):
a closed for business sign at the entrance to contemary. Okay,
don't use pus first of all. So no, do they
I mean those things? Yes, that should that should be
a telltale sign right away. I'm sweating. I'm a witch.
I mean, I'm not aware he's a burman seem Look,
(51:02):
here's a witch that boil. Some of these boils came
from a bad sun burning. Please please, I don't want
to be known as the man poils on his face.
I've just got some blisters from the sun. Well, then
get them lapsed. I don't know what to tell you. Well,
(51:25):
I suppose the only thing to do, since we have
such a long trip to Canterbury is to tell each
other tales to pass the time. All right, Brent, don't
want don't you go first? All right? All right? This
is the this is the Night's tale highlight. This one
(51:50):
play said night a no night? We the k other?
It does it does? It does t place at night?
So maybe there's a double evening in the title. I
guess I never thought about it. That could you start
in the middle. That's my favorite part. Start in the middle.
I haven't I haven't heard it. I haven't heard it.
(52:12):
Start in the middle. You're I'm gonna start in the middle,
get to the end, and they're up around the beginning.
It would be like a Crystal Nolan movie. It's the
best part. Right. The dragon attacked. The dragon burned them
with his flames, and the night seemed to have perished.
(52:33):
But a witch, a witch came out of nowhere brought
the night back to life, and the dragon turned out
to be merely a town dog. Didn't the witch come
from the dragon? Zanies? You just you're just adle obsessed,
all right? Hold hold, hold, Carrizy doors is a souling side.
(52:59):
It's gotta be a little tax. No way you're using
my row without paying how much is the bloody tax?
What much you got? Know? How much is the bloo? No,
don't answer that, it is the bloody text. The blow
taxes two barrels of ales. It's all like you, well,
(53:22):
we can't give him. We're going to get drunk in Canterbury.
If we don't negotiate you going the caps, I'll give
you one aisle blood right, Yeah, do you want to
go with us? We got room for You can just
(53:43):
invite him too, if the girls would not paying a
fucking tax to get him and fucking see, we don't
even a room. We're gonna have to kick my dad out. Yeah.
Lets you killed your mom. Gee, you're the one whose
wanted You're the one you wanted to and now you
say kick him out, So he's gonna be so again?
(54:05):
Why are we bringing me so we could kill somebody
else's mom stopped moving the ride stuff? Oh but decisions soon.
Cho claim not have my carriage and horse? Who the
(54:27):
hell are you boy? My name is Tank Fake. I'm
just gonna let you pass without our tax on our road.
Dummy was one of the barrels of ail. He wants
a better veil. Yeah, yeah, but we might not have
enough room. For him in the carriage. But we could
have him just ride the horse, or somebody else rides
(54:49):
a horse. Then we have room. We keep it ale,
we keep everybody on. It's all good. Yeah, but pops,
do you want to get on the horse, then make
room for the X men? Mm hm be good, all right,
it would be good for your bum. If you're gonna
(55:09):
be good for my bomb. You're a bomb of cessed
to humid b it's gonna probably really hurt my mvoids.
Nah My, push them back in, my push him back in.
All right, I'll try it. I'll try you. I mean,
they're so big, they got hand puppets. Now, just be
careful when you're traveling, and be careful when you get
(55:31):
to Contubury, and please send the goat back home with
a little note that I knew that you got first. Okay, Mom,
just give me keys and let me go. Man, I
don't want you to come. I'm and'll be so sad. Fine,
I'll just take a kiss from our current goat thing.
(55:54):
They're going to go ill. So safe. I'll take these
two Mason's to stay safe. In fact, don't don't know
how to use, but they'll keep me safe. Showing them.
(56:16):
Come please, she's already cold. He's a lot of time ago.
He's not right. Time to slot to you and eat
you show oha. Man. Oh, what a traveling road it's
(56:37):
been down. James's anal canal. All right, let's thank almost
all of the alchemists. Jackie, thank you so much. We
love having you all the way from that closet. You're
thank you. I love being here. Thanks for having me again.
Uh if you're joining Jankie's videos, are there anymore coming
(56:58):
for the folks, Yes, I'm editing one. Oh goodye. So
go to the Instagram account, which is just your name.
It's just my name, but it's shorter. It's just at
Jackie d Ruthie. I'll say well, thank you again, jack
thank you. Craig accoun I'm not sure from your background
if that's a menu board at a new restaurant. Yeah,
(57:23):
Unfortunately I have to close down due to COVID, so
nothing on the slate right now, but we will have eggs,
hash browns and hot dog pieces available once the governor
says we can open back. Go. Oh fantastic, And you
have the uh that show coming up that Chris was
so excited about I'll take his place. And oh yeah,
(57:44):
I think there's still a little time to promote this.
Uh my improv group Das Risky, which is a three
man improv group we've had for about twenty years. We're
doing a online lecture and uh a read through of
one of our classic improvised shows from a number of
years ago. It's fifteen dollars and you can reserve your
space at info at Bronze Metal Entertainment dot com. That's Sunday,
(58:05):
October eleven, one pm Pacific time. Excellent, can't wait. Dr
James Heeney, thank you so very much. Pal, thank you,
And I'm sure that if you go to Chris Alvarado
dot com there will be a link to the very
many things that you've heard about the Alchemist talking about today.
(58:27):
It maybe even links to me. Excellent, and um, I'm
gonna hold off on letting the folks know what happened
to Chris as a way to provoke more emails and
your questions. Let's thank our engineer of the Stars and producer,
Mr Doug Bainem. I'm your host, Kevin bog reminding you
(58:50):
to please be kind to each other where I'm asked
when you go outside and let's get through the shower.
Until next time, Alchemy, Blue and I and a football
Welcome. I'm back to another episode of Alcis. I'm your host,
Kevin po to fine sinking feeling? Will you? I mean
I let myself. I let my guard down. For example,
there's a cloud, Yeah, but I digress. Let's mean they're
not going to shout. We in no particular order. Say
(00:23):
hey to Jackie Gonzellas do RUTHI Hey, guys, Uh, what's
your favorite meal you make for yourself? Okay? Well, I
don't make money because my husband's a great chef and
he loves to cook, Thank the Lord. But I am
really good at making piccardio, and I make it with
(00:45):
turkey instead of beef. It's a ground usually beef stew
in a tomato est sauce to delicious Cuban dish served
over white rice. And I make a very good one
of those. Look out. I would love the recipe of that. Please. Hey,
there's Christol Varado, my friend who serves. First time you
(01:05):
made out in a car speaking of bruise, rip um?
I remember it, okay um, but it was it was
in the my my buddy had one of those big
black trucks from like Back to the Future. It was
like like a Toyota four by four clean and had
a camper. I was in the back of the camper
(01:28):
with a girl and he was with another girl and
they went for a walk in the park and this
girl and I were back there. I was very awkward
and very nervous um and then she reached lean over
and kissed me. It was very sweet. And you were
thirty one years old? Hey what he hated the dancing machine?
A memory from a school dance, if you please, Oh
(01:51):
my god, I remember a school dance. I guess it
was probably the November one. I took mushrooms and it
was not a good idea. It was not a good idea.
You you don't even enjoy yourself if you're trying to
act normal. Yeah, the whole time, because the more normal
(02:11):
you try to act, especially at school and a dance,
it's just unenjoyable. In fact, every time I took psychone
thirty two, two years old. No, it's just like any
time you do that at school, you're not gonna enjoy it.
You get your money's worth after school, that's right. This
is the best anti drug school ps A thing. A
(02:34):
few times. Never once did I like going to school, like,
never once did I like it and hes Greig Kakowsky
that time you impressed a teacher by saying this, Um,
you're not making enough money. I support you. I want
(02:55):
to be on the lines with you. Guys. She said,
get back in your seat, nice and last, but put
the lotion on or get the hose. If you think
of lates, it's Joey Greer best in Fleece. Any horrible
first date, you can share horrible first dates. Yeah, I'm
(03:16):
trying to think of one. Um. Uh. I went on
a date and it was it was in Chicago and
I met up with the woman I was gonna go
to nowhere, and I'm sitting at the table and I
think it was just like a diet coke whatever cocoach
(03:36):
drinking and I sipped the coke and then I don't remember,
and I wake up and I'm chained to the bathroom
stall to and there's a bathtub and it's filled with
water and there's a body in it. And then there's
this other person that's the guy from them Yeah, and
(03:58):
the dude from Princess Bride as with me and he's
carry out. There's like a he's like, I don't know
what he's a he's a lead from from Princess Bride.
He's the captain or what pirate? Pirate? What's his name?
Actor's name is Carriell was? Yeah, yeah, I don't I
don't know. And uh, but so we're there and then
(04:20):
I'm like, oh my god, what do we do? What
do we do? And and then like this, there's a
there's a TV and a ton It's like they's play
a little game with me. Let's play a little game
or something that's like that. I don't remember that. They
are parts of this that you don't remember. The only
part I don't believe is that he was. I just
(04:42):
don't believe that. This doesn't make any sense here. You
never left it. That was the early hint. All right,
let's do it on the show Horseship. All of our
scene suggestions to they are gathered from listener emails or
from our Patreon supporters. To become a Patreon supporter of
(05:02):
the show and enjoy exclusive content another perchase, head on
over to patreon dot com slash alchemy this. If you'd
like to submit a scene suggestion by email, please write
to the podcast at your name here at alchemy this
dot com. That's your name here, Alchemy this dot com
you've seen one comes from mister John who wrote, Hello
Kevin two years ago at Big Slick in Kansas City.
(05:25):
That's the fundraiser to raise money for children's hospital, Mercy
Childrens Hospital that spends no parent or family spends any
money for a child suffering from cancer leukemia. It's pretty
amazing charity there, Big Slick. Check that out in Kansas City. Uh.
You speaking of charitable donations, you locked me in the
(05:47):
not locked. You looked me in the eye, thrust out
your crotch towards me, and gave me two enthusiastic thumbs up.
And all of my fifty two years, that was the
best thing that ever happened to me. And I have kids,
kid whoa, I've got to remember that move. Uh. This
(06:12):
event was surpassed a few weeks ago when I heard
the sweet voice of James Heeney singing, I want my
baby back, baby back, baby back. Now this sounded familiar,
so stopped me. A squirrel has decided to quarantine in
my garage and the son of a bitch won't leave.
I cannot figure out how he got in there. My
(06:34):
suggestion is a squirrel in the garage. Now some of
these sound familiar to me because, of course I copy
and paste them from the emails into a dock, so
they're just in my memory. You all seem to get
better and better. Thank you. John Tremper squirreling in the garage.
I look, I just what do you need? Okay, I'm
(06:56):
gonna go in there. I'm just gonna grab some milk. Milk, yes, okay,
please get some milk. Do you get it? You get it?
All right? Look? Uh and for the last time, please
please do not call John after I go over to
his house and get something from his garage. Okay, it's
just he reminds him that I have some of his
tools still, and he doesn't want to let let me
(07:17):
borrow anything. All right, What I'm going to John Tom?
I don't know my neighbor's name, right, Just look all right? Yeah,
see what he is? Oh? What are you going next door?
What the hell is this? But this isn't a god
damn grocery. RUnni here. Okay, I'm going to get some
tools and John Tom's god damn you over there. You're
(07:40):
over there. If you could get the hose, we'd like
an extension so I could bring it further in the backyard.
Let me tell you some right out. Clark. All right,
I didn't watch you out of my house. Okay, you're
my wife's all right husband, Dad, all right, I don't
want you. I'm trying to explain, good why my father
first and then you? Okay, does better if you don't care? Yeah, don't. No,
(08:09):
not your mom, Dad, I forget you tell your grandfather, don't. Yeah,
just list off the things that you're going to bring back. Now, Yes,
that's a good idea, milk, let him do it? Wait, grandpa,
hold on hoes. Yes, somebody go get some tools. No, no,
(08:32):
that chocolate syrup? Hey, Tank, what what can I do
for you? Hey? Yeah? Yeah, just what Papa beautiful? I
don't know if you paid to the house there. We're
getting some work done on the garage right now. We
gotta get a squirrel squirrel infestation, so yeah, oh let's go.
(08:56):
Well you said the groags. Right now, we have got
squirrel exterminators are in there. Who's here, Well it's it's Tank, Honey,
Oh my god, Tank? Hi? That was fast up? Yes, um,
just flew down that banister Mary Poppins style. Isn't that impressive? Tank? Yeah,
(09:21):
it's fine. Yeah, I can put all my weight on it,
which isn't much, right, Tank, I'm tiny. You can just
throw me up in the air. Yeah, I'm kidding. Well
that's that is that they can say that ankle so swollen.
I don't think I should be tossed up in the area.
That's how you have to catch me soon, I guess.
(09:43):
I guess I'll throw you up. I don't know ready
catch me? Maybe you could for once. Maybe I should
just I told you I've got a bad elbow. God,
gonna have to take me to the hospital. You're gonna
have to take me the hospital. Now, I'm supposed to
(10:03):
be here to meet the squirrel exterminators. I don't know
what to tell. Maybe I should just get you excuse me?
Is this y exterminators. I've got a couple of guys
in the van. We want to make sure this is
the right this is the right address. Wonderful? Have him
(10:25):
come and Tank? Can you watch these guys? And you
gotta take me to the hospital. I have to have
somebody here to show me around. This guy doesn't live.
He's been taking my milk from my garage, so who
knows that the garage better? Baby? I mean come on,
do you want me to bleed out? Okay? Uh? Thank you?
Got this? All right? Listen, Charlie, today's your first day
(10:49):
in the job. Okay. As soon as we get the
okay for Roger, we're gonna jump out of this van
and kill these fucking squirrels. You got it? Okay, good,
keep it quiet, keep it quiet. No, I like this.
I like this. You're a thinker. You're a thinker because,
let me tell you something. When you go into that garage,
you think it's gonna be simple, but it won't be.
(11:09):
Have you ever taken a life before? That's right, that's right.
You think about that. Okay, you think about whether or
not you take it a life before because it changes
the man. Roger, Roger, Yeah, I'm all right. You guys,
are you kiding me? Yeah? Okay? Are we going? You guys? Roger,
(11:35):
Charlie and I'm nuts. Are you guys gonna kill them
fucking squirrels today? To send somebody else out? Oh god,
it's the big Boss. You talked to him. You talked
to him. Listen, all right, all right, hello, I'm sorry,
it's there's bad reception here. We're gonna kill some squirrels
(11:57):
you've given me that. It's bad reception bullshit. It almost
sounds yeah, it sounds pretty bad. I mean, I hear you,
but if we talk at the same time, I don't stand.
Let's just clear some things up before we go in
there and take some lives. I'm talking to this guy. Okay,
he's not saying much. I called him Charlie earlier. Okay,
I told Charlie Roger. I said, well, Roger gives us
(12:18):
the signal. That's good. Oh my god, it's okay. Let
me let me tell you you secret. I know your secrets.
I know your secret we know do I know? Mushroom?
I know you're fine. I want to like the vikings there,
my berserkers. I'm going in. Okay, I just fill out
this form right here, and then we'll be able to
(12:39):
get you in. Like, I don't need a wheelchair. My
husband can just carry me. I've got a bad elbow.
Do you have any wheelchairs? My ankle is? We do? Actually,
this is gonna be another form you're gonna have to
fill out if you want a wheelchair. Yeah. Sorry, your
six ft five boyfriend isn't here to hold you, honey.
Oh please, he's just a naper. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend.
(13:01):
That's crazy. Oh yeah, you freak out. Whatever take comes
by and you've been giving him crazy milk that the
whole time. He thinks he can take all the milk
from our garage. Okay, you two, all right, you two.
So I just looked at the X ray. I'm your doctor.
How's my elbow? Um? So I'll get there, I'll get there. Okay.
(13:22):
There's a couple of things really quick. So you said,
uh no, no history of blood of high high blood pressure.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Just I mean, I've been waiting
for a while here on the are I filled out
my form and then these two just getting X ray immediately.
I just, sir, sir, I mean, we know who you are.
We know who you are. Okay, you were here yesterday
(13:43):
and the day before. There's no such thing as surfers ribs. Okay,
just don't go back in the water. Ah, I mean,
you tell that to right exactly, if you excuse me, now,
if you excuse me, Okay, a couple of things. Here's
what's that guy's story. Okay, So first of all, you
(14:03):
you live on street? Is that correct? Okay? Yeah, Well,
there's no streets. Oh, I have an O. S. T. Period. No,
it's not the end of the street. We don't live
on the street. We just live in Okay, it's just okay, depending,
it's just the name is pending pending. Should I just
(14:23):
wait up and there's way outside? Or first of all, sir,
we can't see you if you're still wearing a wet suit. Okay,
you refuse to take that kneopren off. It doesn't read
in the X ray machine. Yeah, get back in land,
silver server. I broke my dick take a number. Oh god, yeah,
all I'm gonna get right to it. So the X
ray show, uh fractures and on Who's because honestly, I
(14:46):
thought of both of your hearts? What what? Your bones
are weakened because they're not getting enough blood because the
heart isn't pumping enough blood, because you're falling out of
love with each other. Now that's just what the X
ray show. I guess it has been seven years. Mm
hmmm mm hmmm. H yes, I think I just can
(15:10):
have to go get my host myself. Maybe maybe I
could pick up your things said, no good husband, and
yours doesn't seem to be very good at anything. Dad
if you want the hus go get it about going on?
Do you want me to get you milk? And I'll
get you chocolate syrup and then you'll be the hero. Yes,
let's do that. All right, I'll go over there. I
just got a quick sneak into that garage. All right, guys,
(15:34):
what do you say? Let go take some lives? Charlie,
look at me, Look at me. He's crying, Roger, he's crying.
And that makes sense because you're about to do something
the first day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, Roger on
your signal? All right? And did you hear that? That
is that the big Boss? Yeah? Again, this is Roger
(15:56):
the Boss, Charlie and face to go in there and
kill that squirrel. Okay, Charlie, I know he's I know
he's talking to you. And this is your first day. Okay,
don't worry about it. And yes, your media boss's name Roger,
and so is the big Boss. Don't get that. Don't
let that get in your head. Okay, you are a murderer.
You're about to take a life of a squirrel or
any other road it we come across, Roger, shall we?
(16:19):
I think we see that makes sense? That happens because
you're both named Roger, Roger Roger right right? It gets crazy,
all right, So I'm sweating right now, but I think
that maybe I think maybe Charlie should have one of
these caps. He usually gives me courage when I have
to go into a fight when he's already eating it.
(16:40):
My guy that was here supposed to take one cap,
he just eat half a bagh shit. Oh, it's really cool.
Are you two want to like kind of rekindle our
relationship and all that? And I honestly think that, like
you know, like wall climbing and just like you know,
scaling ship, it's like such a great way to connect
because it's just like you the mountain face, and like
(17:02):
we support each other mentally and emotionally. Right baby, now,
is it safe to climb this wall? Wouldn't even answer
my question with with broken hearts? Uh? You know, uh,
this guy followed us from Yeah, all right, it's been
(17:24):
a crazy we'll tell me about it. Honestly, I have
whether there was a guy in a wet suit who
had been there for three days in row and he died.
He ended up dying, He had a lacerated liver that
they just wouldn't wouldn't see got him. Yeah, it's nuts
all right. So we're gonna have uh you young lady?
(17:44):
Oh my boys, by the way, you're going to climb.
Can I just say if you could guess my age
right now? I asked him to guess. Sorry I missed that.
I think he would have probably even gone to twenty
if he wouldn't have had your voice in his ear.
Oh my gosh. Uh so you you don't own this house.
(18:09):
You're just you're overseeing the master. Yeah. Look, man, I
just need to get some some Maybe you let us
in there first. How about I going first, because you
don't know what you're going up again, so you were
taking the life before oka human life. You can go
(18:33):
in first. Okay, Holy shop, you're bringing back a lot
of memories. So I think Charlie went in. I don't
want to interrupt, but I don't know where Charlie said.
I think he went in there. I think he's killing
stuff in there right now. Oh shit, I think that.
Alvin Simon, he squirrel. You're not squirrels. You're not squirrels
(19:03):
at all. We are the chickmunks. Step out of step,
out of it. You're tripping balls, man, are you talking
to me. You're talking, you're talking. You're talking to a
goddamn tire iron. You might not realize it, but I
think there's an old man. And I hear a voice
(19:25):
in the garage. Alright, listen, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not.
I don't know. Maybe I've gone off the rails here.
I'll understand that we've been authorized to kill every thing
in this garage. Now, I doubt there's an old man
in there. But if you're tripping so hard you see
an old man, go ahead take him out. Okay, are
you sure? Yeah? Of course, I'm sure. I'm the only
(19:45):
one who's not. Charlie did VOI don't kill me, Please,
don't kill me. I mean, I'm not gonna say what
I think I hear tank, Thanks for holding down the fort,
how and everything? Go? Yeah, I gotta be honest. There's
a there's guys in the garage. Were strong hands? Come
(20:12):
on mon? Yeah, I did I trying. This is what
gets me there? Then, this is what gets me there.
I just went wall climbing with you, Yeah, and you
dropped me. I have a bad holbow now ankles. And
this guy I told you to lose him. I think
he's just part of the family. Now, Well, if that's
(20:35):
what's going to bring us together, all right. So I
got a screwdriver, I got some milk in a ball,
some chunk with syrup. Yeah, I'll I'll fill up the
junk out of your tank. Hi, Mrs built More. Um,
it's about Charlie. I know you don't know me, and
I know you know today was his first day on
(20:57):
the job as an exterminator. Um, Charlie was a good man.
I don't want to tell you that. I can tell
by your look. You know he was a good man.
Of course, he was the best. He was the best.
I'm glad you're using the word was, because I'm glad
you're speaking about him in the past tense. They didn't.
(21:19):
Charlie died doing what he loved to do, surfing. And
that's the one who see two comes to us to
patron al Camaniac. Well, brace yourself because he's just upgraded
(21:44):
from v I p Alcmaniac. You know him, you love him.
David Roger, who wrote to us, I'm not sure if
I should keep pitching ideas that don't work or go
back to speed drawing. Pick years of you reminiscent of
a fever dream. Anyway, here goes, shower thoughts go public.
(22:08):
Thanks gang, love you all. Okay, let me just go
over the chart with you again real quick. As you know,
we've been studying dream state here at the Institute for
six weeks, and um, you've been with us from the beginning,
so thank you for that. Uh, but we've seen an
(22:29):
increase over these six weeks in your chart alone when
it comes to your dreams that you've shared with us
versus what's happening in your real life. So in week one,
you said you dreamt about a squirrel in a garage
who took three lives, one of which was your father,
(22:54):
and then in real life, your father passed away in
his garage. In week two you said, oh, you dreamt
that while surfing. Okay, can I just ask really quick
before you even go further to I have superpowers? Are
you saying I have superpowers? Am I making these things
(23:16):
come true? I'm not allowed to take the anticipation any longer.
I'm not allowed to give you a diagnosis. You have
to figure this out for yourself. Is that what you're
feeling you may have super You guys, were the scientists.
I didn't even draw the conclusion. You're right, I did
dream about that, and then my death did die. Yes,
but in week two, you dreamt that you were surfing
(23:36):
and your balls came out of your wet suit, and
in real life they didn't. I exposed myself in front
of a group of people. Yeah, oh my god. I
think my dreams have the power to make things come true. Right,
Oh my god. So let's talk about what you dreamt
this week. Week six? Okay, well it was pretty simple.
(23:57):
I dreamt that I became the boss of this laboratory
and everyone had to start answering to me because I
became the expert part of my boss. Um. So we
have two more patients in. Yeah, did you want them
to fill out the paperwork or do you wanted to
speak to them right away? Oh my god, it's happening now.
(24:20):
I would like to just speak to him right away.
Thank you. This is happening fast. This is happening fast.
I'm already boss around here. Okay, hi, you two come
on in. Uh, we just referred to him as boss.
He's the boss. Um. Now, this is Philip, and and
and what was your name again? This is Sandra, This
(24:43):
is Philip and Sandra. I'm so sorry, m Philip and Sandra.
This is the boss. Now. These two um say that
they would like to have their dreams worked on. You
know what really institute? Yeah? Really? Wherein? All right? All right,
(25:03):
we'll leave me privately with them and close the door.
You got it? Okay? I'm sorry you need something? No, No,
I didn't need anything. Close the door behind you and
make sure you're far the way. You can't hear in,
got you? Because I just did that and then you
and I heard you speak, so I wanted to make sure. Well,
then you weren't far enough away from the door. I'm sorry.
(25:24):
I just shut the door again, did you I just go,
go go. Can we ask you something? Yes? Please? Is
this a dream? Oh my fucking god. I didn't even
anticipate that could be the thing you dream? Is it
my dream? Is it his dream? His dream? Is it? Okay?
(25:48):
This is getting serious. I signed up for an experiment
where they were going to study my dreams and we
were told you're the boss of dreams. So that dream?
Is it the boss or the non boss? Who's the boss?
I mean, I think it's me, but it's also possible
that I'm dreaming right now. I was going to tell
(26:11):
you guys that you should get out of this whole
experiment because I've gathered powers that are supernatural. Die. Did
we die together? Did we die? Did we get impaled
by one thing that impaled us? Both? Got a great idea. Uh, doctor,
(26:31):
you'll see here that the three patients seem to be
communicating while asleep. Um, now this is as far as
since that you can go. We brought you in because
you're the specialist. Now you'll see that this has to
go problem. Sorry, this information has to go public. With
all due respect, we're still in the phase where we're experimenting.
(26:54):
We don't know what it means just yet, the experimental dreams.
That's right, we're in the experiment I always yet which
so you can see right now they seem to be
communicating because their brains are lighting. Obviously that it's like
a like a simon. Can can we eat those lights?
Or no? I'm sorry? Is there are those lights? They
(27:17):
look very I don't want to question your expertise, sir.
I've read all of your journals. This has to go public.
In what capacity are you you're saying we need to
start publishing our findings so early on. Sorry interrupt sir,
there's a giraffe in your corolla. Mhm am, I are
(27:41):
you the boss of dreams? Am I the boss of dreams?
I'm just really, I'm just relaying a messy. Are you
in a dream right now? Not as far as I know,
although I don't remember where I came from and I
don't know where I'm supposed to go right now. M
Now look at the lower out of my body is
now squid. If anybody's gonna know how to get to
(28:03):
the center of the get to the center of what
say it? And if you look to the left, that's
the reception area of the center of the canch. Now
we're going to proceed with our tour, and if anyone
(28:23):
has any questions is short for consciousness. That's actually an
acronym can overcome nothing? Surely hero, I had no idea.
(28:44):
I had no idea. So um, that's just one of
the fun facts that you'll learn here on this very
tour as we proceed going for I have a question
about the reception right there to our last uh so
that looks like a maple oak blend. If I'm not
(29:05):
mistaken on the on the front facing the end of
that reception desk. Is that yes, yes, that's fantastic, really nice.
Viner too, just shines, pops. I have a question as well.
All of the other people on this tour are people
I went to high school with, including one one guy
who died in a car accident. Is this is this
your dream? Is this a dream? Isn't that funny? Um?
(29:30):
What is a dream? And what is it? Then? I
guess well, if conch means can overcome nothing, surely hero,
then absolutely this is a dream. But if conch means perhaps,
thank you everybody thanking for gathering here today. All right,
keep it down, keep it down, please, please keep it down,
(29:53):
Please keep it down. As you know, it is approaching
six o'clock in the morning Pacific standard time. In two minutes,
the Great Awakening will occur. Everybody who has been asleep
in this institute will be woken up simultaneously. Now, we
don't know what this might happen. Now I don't know. Yeah,
(30:19):
we don't know what this might We don't know what
this might happen. Can I court you on that, sir? Please? Please? Do? Um?
I want to I want to take one moment here
before the great awakening occurs to thank each and every
one of you for your work. Honey, who are you
talking to? I mean I can barely hear you over
the shower water, but you just said something about a
(30:41):
great awakening. What's happening in there? Uh? Just singing a song? Okay,
because I don't know it, but it sounds deep. This is?
This is what I mean? Uh, Sam, we need a
little private time, so this is don't want to have
to explain myself in my private time. Oh okay, So
(31:05):
shower thoughts are all yours and I should stay the
funk out that. I mean, they don't have to be babe,
if you want by sir, sir, are you gonna use
conditioner or just shampoo? I'm gonna please. You should answer
from your own everybody you can see what's happening my
with you? Okay, all right, everybody, Well we have lessons.
(31:28):
Do you use the same bar of soap for your
faces with less than sixty? All right, you two have
a great idea. Since it's dream, all I have to
do is kill you with these your shorts and there
will be no consequences because oh I'm I am my dad.
(31:51):
We're dead. Roger Um, I've talked to the judge and
it seems like you are. You are serving those twelve
back to back back back to back to back to
back to back to back to back life and uh well,
sure sure, Roger. You stabbed two people with I mean
(32:13):
Claymore's that's there's a huge swords and uh look, I
get it you're high on all right, but I mean
if we look at your history, you were in that
garage with your two co workers who were just charred up,
cut up, and then now we've got another double homicide
in their in their garage. You I don't to Nolan.
(32:37):
Um gosh, I've been here a while. I feel like
I can call you Chris. Is this all you have
for us today on your Inception sequel ideas? Or because
I don't want to jump in before you get to
the end of what happens. I mean, we're building, we're
building towards something, you know that that I think is
(32:57):
pretty clear whether this is heading right. Uh so it's
not clear, So I guess that's what I'm saying. I
don't want to jump in anymore. Please continue, Oh really,
because the the the midway point is the right time
to assess a Christopher Nolan joint. Okay, yes, that's what
I remembered, and that's what I was trying to accomplish.
(33:18):
So I have a couple of questions. Yes, yes, by
all means, I'm sure the film will answer them. But
but but while we've stopped the film, like, let's let's
go ahead and just address what are your concerns at
this point. The swords they seem too big. Well, they're
claim as they're they're known to be large swords. Nolan,
(33:38):
Mr Nolan, Sorry, there's a voice in my head talking,
please to wake up. It's time to wake up from
your nap. It's time to feed the kittie cats. All right.
I think I think this is a dream right now,
So I think you're not an actual executive, and I
think somebody is trying to accept me and tell me
(33:59):
that my sequels a terrible idea. Uh now, I'm going
to wake up, feed my kiddy cats, and get back
to reality. Alright, Good luck, God, damn man, where the
hell may you? Damn you got, Christopher, no awakening. You
(34:20):
can overcome nothing, surely, hero, Amen, turn that goddamn brading off. Man. Listen, man,
let me do someone. Look man, I'm dom sick and
tired of you. Goddamn Christopher Nolan. So many movie ideas
from these dreams, but they're all just sequels of Christopher. Prisoners, Prisoners,
keep the Down, prisoners, new fish coming through, double homicide,
(34:45):
new fish coming through. Get in there. I Uh, I'm Roger. Everybody,
welcome him to the prison, first time, the first time.
Here come hey, Roder, turnaround formula. Okay, there's a troll
(35:12):
BHD you. Oh yeah, thanks, Okay, holy sh it, all right, listen, baby,
I don't. I just want to stop you real real quick.
I don't. I don't think this person went okay, but
I don't want to hear about your dreams again. This
(35:33):
has become like an every morning thing, and I love you.
There's a vivid I just want to share with you.
I just want to share up that piece of me
with you. It doesn't resonate with me nothing lands Do
you know what I mean? I mean, it's it's my
deepest thoughts, from my most inner subconscious and you're saying
(35:56):
that doesn't resonate with you. Do you see how that
hurt hurts me? Because that's like, that's who I am,
but who I didn't even know I was. Look, I
don't now I hear you when you were sleeping. Last night.
I went on web MD. What I look at some
of these simples peopleth been having. I think maybe, Um,
(36:17):
I'm not a doctor, but I think maybe we're both
suffering from a broken from our hearts. Our hearts aren't pumping. Well,
wait a second, I am a doctor. Let me take
us to my office and I'll run some tests. I mean,
if you think people, it looks here are e kg
(36:39):
s are pretty clear? Actually, okay, we're having no problems there.
It's really steady rhythm. Okay, then I guess maybe maybe
it's just me. I'll run more tests. If that's what
makes you happy, that's what I'll do. But what makes
me happy is what makes you happy? Except the dream park? Well,
(37:01):
what makes me happy to sharing my dreams. Okay, this
is a bit of a h I think I wanted
to wait. Just wait one second. Sometimes they revive, don't
(37:24):
start CPR, do not start CPR, do not resuscitate. Right
now we have to wait. Do you think that he's
just gonna wake up? Do you think he's just gonna
let me? Sometimes sometimes they don't know. I wow, I
thought you had my back and then you completely flipped
on me. Guys, Relax, I'm a doctor, Okay, I swear
(37:47):
I'm a doctor. And these hands look like fish fins
for no reason. It's fine, right, But doing no harm
means we should get in there and try to reastout him.
Do you know how much harm actual resussity Asian does make?
I mean, you crack ribs worse than I ever could. Well,
let's stay away from the ridge, Tommy, Yeah, why don't
(38:10):
you guys start some pulses, some compressions on his abdomen.
I heard asshole. Did you hear that, Tommy? I heard abdomen.
But I'm down for the asshole. Let's let's uh, let's
just flip him over and get to it all right.
(38:31):
Oh my god, I'm telling you right now, I am
just not sleeping. Well, I don't know what it is. Uh,
it's crazy. I haven't slept in the past like three weeks,
not a wink. I have not slept at How do
you want your eggs done? Um? I'm talking with a
little bit of hot dog pieces. Don't We don't do bacon.
(38:53):
We could do sausage. We can do chicken sausage. Or tomatoes. Well,
you have a sausage, we do a sausage. I mean,
it's so just make a hot dog. We don't have
hot we don't have hot dogs on the menu. What
do you mean why don't we have chicken sausage? I admittedly,
it's pretty close. It's pretty that's not a chicken. What
(39:17):
kind of toast? But you have h um let's see,
I guess to do a wrap a rap? No, I
mean we have wrapped, but you ordered, you ordered the
two egg pladder mm hmm, yes, I did. I know
what I ordered. Okay, just give me some eggs with
(39:38):
sausage and let me have toast rap toast wrap and
what kind of potato? Oh kind of potato? I guess
I'll do this right. Home fries or again, you can
do a sided tomatoes. Oh, let's do regular fries. Let's staut.
(40:06):
Do you have yes, I said, and you have home fries.
Seemed like, okay, I want a hot dog, but you
have sauceage, so there's no hot dogs. I'm saying, give
me steak cut fries and you can't do that. But
you have hash runs and you have home fries. Do
you see the problem? The problem is that I'm a
giant hot dog and you're talking to me trying to
(40:27):
order you know what. I think you've finally fallen asleep,
and that's the end of the bloody movie. Any fucking questions,
I don't have any? Do you have any, Steve? I
don't have any? Okay, we love it all right, So
next time, can I play the whole fucking movie before
(40:49):
you interrupt me? I think you're right about that one
question though, if I may, Yes, at any point during
this where we see pieces of hot Dog, Yes, yes,
there's going to be there's going to be a whole
marketing tie in, okay with Johnsonville Brats. Yes. Oh, I
(41:11):
actually had a question. Now I know that you didn't
ask me if I had a question. Do you have
a question? I have? I actually have a question, Mr Nolan.
At the beginning of this presentation, you spun a top
on the desk and it actually hasn't stopped spinning. And
this presentation has been about four hours long, and it
doesn't seem to be slowing down. You dress is a
(41:32):
bloody dream. This is a bloody dream, isn't it? Oh no, no,
it's it Is this a dream? It's still spinning. Okay, okay,
you too, you're gonna have to get out of the right,
(41:54):
you too, are gonna have all of US's gonna have
to get out with any hot dogs chopped up inside dog?
What what the hell are you talking about? Dogs? Where's
the pop over the hot dog? I don't know, I
don't know, I don't I don't know. Bring me a
(42:15):
slushy with hot on top. I'm not gonna bring you
with slushy with you. It's gonna melt. Haven't had, I
haven't had, Senior. It's marketing. What is the marketing people
in the seats? Where is everybody? It's just over and
(42:37):
over over again, and a bunch of rons. There's like
twenty five ron's here. Now listen. Okay, I'm a snake. Okay, yeah,
snake and baby do you think that's a pro head
that's on you? Snake, your cobra head, snake python body.
(43:01):
I'm out of here. I'm out of here. I'm agin
and that scene too, uh. Hot dog pieces broke Chris
so much that he froze onto Zoom was just laughing.
I thought he was laughing in that position, trying to
enter again for seven minutes. No that's not trying to
(43:23):
read it. I don't know what's actually he really is frozen?
What if he isn't frozen? What if he's still laughing?
From Hot Dog Pizza. See three comes to us from
Emmanuel from Sweden, who wrote, dear Alchemist, first of all,
from the bottom of my heart, and then all caps,
thank you, thank you regular caps for all the laughter
(43:46):
you bring us. You're all great and I love you all.
Doesn't that sound like more like Swiss than Sweeten Switzerland.
My scene suggestion a medieval road trips slash spring break,
Thank you you, kindly, Alchemist, Manuel Gonzalez from Sweden. By
the way, is Joey Band from Instagram? Couldn't find him?
That seems right? Yeah, the answer is yeah, I gotta
(44:10):
I gotta got a problem with this. Zach oh, the
zach sweet, the Zack suck Um. Yeah, here we go,
medieval road trip springbray. It's just going to be wild.
I can't believe it. We've all got to give up.
We're gonna go and have just pails and pails of ale.
(44:34):
It gonna be wiled. This is going to Why do
we need to travel for the ale? Don't be such
a party but we're going to have goblets and goblets
of ale. And I brought these two maces just for fun.
(44:57):
Jesus Ale, phone around, see what happens, shake it up?
And besides, all the women are in Canterbury a good
points can can' bris it's just funtistic. Look and now
(45:22):
this is a big borrowed my dad's horse, and we
can't funk up my dad's horse or your dad? Is that?
Is that happening? I take away because we're sucking your dad. No, no, no, no,
holy sh it, what the hell? No, no, make your mind?
(45:45):
What the fog was? Are my a dream? Did I know?
The whop? Again? Yeah? A little bit? Are we still
bringing this guy on the road trip? Seems like a
bit of a of course, wheel looks like a bit
of a wet blanket. I got the blankets. They're not wet. Okay, well,
(46:09):
all right, you guys are gonna be taking my horse.
You guys are gonna be taking my horse off, screwing briad.
All four of us are going to jump on that horse,
says your dad. We're talking. Excuse me, No, bastard Topkins
will take good care yours? All right? All right? I
(46:30):
think maybe you should put the carriage on. You should, Oh,
we could take the kid. Normally I wouldn't the carriage
cage six? You would seek six. You would if it's
six people, think about how much ale it would see
barrels and barrels. Of there's there's one four of you.
(46:57):
Take one spot forward would be for ale and I.
There's enough room for one more person. Your dad's not
coming right getting shut up? Shut up? I didn't ask
to combat. Are you awful? Do you mind if we
just who? I think wish you get? Going twelve years
(47:18):
older than I feel bad for him and his wife died.
He's really lonely, But you're not going to try to
find new mom for yourself. He's gonna try to find
new mom for you with your daddy from her death.
(47:40):
Or is he that's really fucked up to bring up
my I mean he was rather suspicious my first you
want to my dad. Don't want to know if he's
been exhonerating My mom was a witch? Well, but the
(48:01):
boozers were on the back of her head. Yeah, so
that's stuff. What funk? Is this a forensic side? She
wasn't a witch because she burned up, right, that's exactly right. Now,
get this horse attached to the carriage, and I want
a better attitude. Want to come back with it? Okay,
(48:23):
you take it there to go find a new mom
or we could just cut and run right now, he's
trying to hook up the carriage. Is all four jump
on the horse forget Well, he just took the horse
to the carriage. You want us a dead sprint? Another
option as we then go, okay, what is that with you?
And now we're going to have an influx of young,
(48:50):
disgusting people into cancer as they celebrate. Was just spitting
at the disgusting show. Yes, it's it's spring break, Archbishop.
Spring breaks as surprising not that many people are excited
about East Star as they are about spring. I believe
(49:14):
it corresponds to the to the vernal equinox is heresy,
you've you've you've burned me many times and I haven't
do You haven't burn so that's your I guess the
(49:36):
only way they test is to burn me again. Let's
check him. Wait, why don't that You want to check
his Alright, we've done that too often. Nothing is up there.
Now let's get back onto this docket before we burn you.
We have to decide what you're going to do about
all these disgusting children running around. Soyer lean the holy
(50:00):
line that can prepare? Well it does? It does? Out
of business to the town. Oh business, yes, if we
put a closed sign, but we do count on the business.
Oh my god, how many boils do you have? Done?
(50:21):
They just it's it's their boils, the boys boys, I mean,
what are they giving you an opportunity? Boils? What is this? Oh? No, what?
Obviously maybe we should have it so that we put
(50:41):
a closed for business sign at the entrance to contemary. Okay,
don't use pus first of all. So no, do they
I mean those things? Yes, that should that should be
a telltale sign right away. I'm sweating. I'm a witch.
I mean, I'm not aware he's a burman seem Look,
(51:02):
here's a witch that boil. Some of these boils came
from a bad sun burning. Please please, I don't want
to be known as the man poils on his face.
I've just got some blisters from the sun. Well, then
get them lapsed. I don't know what to tell you. Well,
(51:25):
I suppose the only thing to do, since we have
such a long trip to Canterbury is to tell each
other tales to pass the time. All right, Brent, don't
want don't you go first? All right? All right? This
is the this is the Night's tale highlight. This one
(51:50):
play said night a no night? We the k other?
It does it does? It does t place at night?
So maybe there's a double evening in the title. I
guess I never thought about it. That could you start
in the middle. That's my favorite part. Start in the middle.
I haven't I haven't heard it. I haven't heard it.
(52:12):
Start in the middle. You're I'm gonna start in the middle,
get to the end, and they're up around the beginning.
It would be like a Crystal Nolan movie. It's the
best part. Right. The dragon attacked. The dragon burned them
with his flames, and the night seemed to have perished.
(52:33):
But a witch, a witch came out of nowhere brought
the night back to life, and the dragon turned out
to be merely a town dog. Didn't the witch come
from the dragon? Zanies? You just you're just adle obsessed,
all right? Hold hold, hold, Carrizy doors is a souling side.
(52:59):
It's gotta be a little tax. No way you're using
my row without paying how much is the bloody tax?
What much you got? Know? How much is the bloo? No,
don't answer that, it is the bloody text. The blow
taxes two barrels of ales. It's all like you, well,
(53:22):
we can't give him. We're going to get drunk in Canterbury.
If we don't negotiate you going the caps, I'll give
you one aisle blood right, Yeah, do you want to
go with us? We got room for You can just
(53:43):
invite him too, if the girls would not paying a
fucking tax to get him and fucking see, we don't
even a room. We're gonna have to kick my dad out. Yeah.
Lets you killed your mom. Gee, you're the one whose
wanted You're the one you wanted to and now you
say kick him out, So he's gonna be so again?
(54:05):
Why are we bringing me so we could kill somebody
else's mom stopped moving the ride stuff? Oh but decisions soon.
Cho claim not have my carriage and horse? Who the
(54:27):
hell are you boy? My name is Tank Fake. I'm
just gonna let you pass without our tax on our road.
Dummy was one of the barrels of ail. He wants
a better veil. Yeah, yeah, but we might not have
enough room. For him in the carriage. But we could
have him just ride the horse, or somebody else rides
(54:49):
a horse. Then we have room. We keep it ale,
we keep everybody on. It's all good. Yeah, but pops,
do you want to get on the horse, then make
room for the X men? Mm hm be good, all right,
it would be good for your bum. If you're gonna
(55:09):
be good for my bomb. You're a bomb of cessed
to humid b it's gonna probably really hurt my mvoids.
Nah My, push them back in, my push him back in.
All right, I'll try it. I'll try you. I mean,
they're so big, they got hand puppets. Now, just be
careful when you're traveling, and be careful when you get
(55:31):
to Contubury, and please send the goat back home with
a little note that I knew that you got first. Okay, Mom,
just give me keys and let me go. Man, I
don't want you to come. I'm and'll be so sad. Fine,
I'll just take a kiss from our current goat thing.
(55:54):
They're going to go ill. So safe. I'll take these
two Mason's to stay safe. In fact, don't don't know
how to use, but they'll keep me safe. Showing them.
(56:16):
Come please, she's already cold. He's a lot of time ago.
He's not right. Time to slot to you and eat
you show oha. Man. Oh, what a traveling road it's
(56:37):
been down. James's anal canal. All right, let's thank almost
all of the alchemists. Jackie, thank you so much. We
love having you all the way from that closet. You're
thank you. I love being here. Thanks for having me again.
Uh if you're joining Jankie's videos, are there anymore coming
(56:58):
for the folks, Yes, I'm editing one. Oh goodye. So
go to the Instagram account, which is just your name.
It's just my name, but it's shorter. It's just at
Jackie d Ruthie. I'll say well, thank you again, jack
thank you. Craig accoun I'm not sure from your background
if that's a menu board at a new restaurant. Yeah,
(57:23):
Unfortunately I have to close down due to COVID, so
nothing on the slate right now, but we will have eggs,
hash browns and hot dog pieces available once the governor
says we can open back. Go. Oh fantastic, And you
have the uh that show coming up that Chris was
so excited about I'll take his place. And oh yeah,
(57:44):
I think there's still a little time to promote this.
Uh my improv group Das Risky, which is a three
man improv group we've had for about twenty years. We're
doing a online lecture and uh a read through of
one of our classic improvised shows from a number of
years ago. It's fifteen dollars and you can reserve your
space at info at Bronze Metal Entertainment dot com. That's Sunday,
(58:05):
October eleven, one pm Pacific time. Excellent, can't wait. Dr
James Heeney, thank you so very much. Pal, thank you,
And I'm sure that if you go to Chris Alvarado
dot com there will be a link to the very
many things that you've heard about the Alchemist talking about today.
(58:27):
It maybe even links to me. Excellent, and um, I'm
gonna hold off on letting the folks know what happened
to Chris as a way to provoke more emails and
your questions. Let's thank our engineer of the Stars and producer,
Mr Doug Bainem. I'm your host, Kevin bog reminding you
(58:50):
to please be kind to each other where I'm asked
when you go outside and let's get through the shower.
Until next time, Alchemy, Blue and I and a football
Alchemy This News
Host
Kevin Pollak
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