December 31, 2020 • 52 mins
A Star Wars fan finds out William Shatner is his real father
Wall street guys buy out the government
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to another episode about any edition. I'm your host.
I got a kiss. Yes, I'm not sure that's your business.
What do you what do you see? I A but
I digress. Let's meet a show no particular order. They
(00:23):
say good morning to Caroline cut Ter, not even nice
win or how did you discover there may not in
fact be a Santa clause? Um? I saw a picture
from like an earlier Christmas with all the presents wrapped
(00:43):
under the tree at night, and I was like, damn,
you know what I mean? That chess doesn't check out.
So I figured out myself, like I do everything, I
do it all on my own. I'm good, I'm fine,
all right, fair enough? Yeah, Hey, it's James Enny, Jimmy
Jingles Hinman. How does Santa bring toys to all the
(01:07):
children in the world? Uh? He outsources. Uh is what
I imagined he must do a long time ago. Population
it grows exponentially, so in like the nineteen twenties or thirties,
there's probably like a hundred thousand people on the planet.
But then each one that has two or more kids,
it starts doubling the population. So that's why now he
(01:30):
doesn't have a choice he has to use factories all
over the world. That makes sense, um, Other than the
there were only hundreds of thousands of people in the thirties,
it may have been it's the numbers. I mean they're growing,
they're growing fast. Yes, yes they are. Hey, and now
here's Craig Atkowski with traffic. I'm on the four oh
(01:53):
five right now. Wildfires on either so there are charms overhead.
There is no action on God's green Earth for what
is happening right now. A quarantine, Uh, this and occur
for you that should not be happening. It's three am
(02:15):
and I've been bumping up upper traffic on the four
oh five. Back to you, al, thank you. Hey, there's
Chris Alvarado. Mr Chris comments on the latest episode of
Below Deck. Please. I didn't watch. We google calling. They
(02:36):
talked earlier. I worked on an audition last night. When
I came down, Jessica said we still have to watch
Below Deck tonight, and I said, I can't do it tonight. Okay.
I will not say a word other than can't wait
to talk to you afterwards. It's it's a show stopper.
I'll say that. Joe, don't don't Okay, dude, don't seriously
wait for your turn. But don't ruin this, dude. I
(02:58):
love that show. Fuck do they kick off one a week? Okay, yeah,
it's not a joke to everybody. There's a there's a
leak in the bottom of the yacht, and in the
bottom of the yacht. That's where the leak is. In
the bottom. Yeah, that's on top. Christmas spam for you
(03:19):
if you think it leaves. It's Joey Greer bfalo Joe
what should people know about it? Befalo Is is a
fantastic company. They're they're going public soon and I really
think you should invest. I think you're gonna be able
to get so much of your money back. Uh, not
only immediately, but over time. You know. It's just like
when air Boil went public, where people were like this,
(03:40):
this can't believe this is you know, I mean the
saluity royal families worth trillions of dollars and most of
the money is obviously, if not all of it is
in their wild same thing with b Flow. If you
look at the royal family Tennessee, they're all their money
comes from b Flow and now they want to go
public and this is an opportunity to get those stocks
to get on the ground floor and make your I'm
(04:01):
telling you right now, you're not only gonna make five times,
You're not gonna make ten times, and you're gonna make
somewhere between eleven to twelve times your money back. And
I can guarantee that on a single eighteen nine O
I P O four four uh D backs. And if
we run a double two and we're for fourth down
and six yards, we're gonna be able to make a
(04:22):
handle a gelatinous jelly meat. Let's do a damn show.
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(04:44):
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That's your name here dot com. Crimon comes from patroon
v I P. Nicholas Mark Howard or Nicholas mock Our,
who wrote Hi, Kevin. By chance, I stumbled on an
old clip of you doing Colombo impressions in the eighties
(05:06):
or so. Why didn't anyone ever tell me you were
funny before alchemy? This blamo? Come on, man, you're great.
I'm just messing with you. I just never knew you
could do accents anyway. A Star Wars fan finds out
that William Shatter is his real father. H tickets, Please,
(05:32):
you guys have badges or tickets or something. Oh yeah,
we have the badge acts. We're gonna be able to go.
We're gonna be able to go backstage. Okay, just put
it under the light there. I need to examine it.
Oh wow, you you have v I P. Pas Cheryl
you okay, what you say? Just a light burn. I
(05:54):
looked right into the light. I thought you said and that.
He said, look all right, my head on through. You
know where you're going, right? Thank you? Thank you? Yeah? Yeah,
we're v I P. Correct. Let me just see here. Okay, um,
close your eyes. This is a laser. It will okay
if you look into it. Okay, scanning, scanning, scanning. Sure,
(06:18):
are you all right? No, I'm sorry, he said, close
your eyes. I thought he might open your eyes, and
he misspoke, so I opened them and look into the laser.
I look into the laser. Oh that's okay, all right, Well, wow,
you guys have some real good passes here. I'll tell
you what. Thanks. Yeah, actually we actually had to go
into her. Okay, Oh man, this is gonna be amazing.
This is so crazy. I can't believe you have p
(06:40):
I mean know, iye bleeding a little bit. Oh my gosh, exciting,
Oh my god. Okay, from now on, you have to
refer to me as Mandough and I'm only going to
refer to you as grow Goo. Yes, I know, grow
goo and your man do. Let's go and okay up, no,
(07:05):
it got me. I think it pointed right in the
back of my skull and then kind of from there
like made fractals inside of my brain. Before you enter
the theater, we gotta do a cheek swab. We're gonna
do it a complimentary twenty three and me um when
you come out, well see if your relatives in the theater.
You're just gonna take our DNA complimentary. That's great, It's
(07:27):
gonna work for you. Man. Do you know you're an
orphan and you can just close your eyes please and open.
I I th inside of my eye. Okay, I'm sorry,
grogre Are you okay? Grog? Are you are right? I'm fine? Man,
(07:47):
don sorry, Okay, on your way out, you can go
ahead and go to the desk and we'll tell you
you know what. You're twenty three and said, thank you
so much. Hey, we actually got these badges in that.
Oh he's gone, yeah, this is so I eat you there. Um,
(08:08):
you said you are my my handler, and I'm I'm
just uh. Do you have a name that I might
forget soon? Yeah? Yeah, Mr Shatner, I'm I'm Tyler. Tyler
is that a first name or a lot? It's my
last name actually, but but everyone calls me Tyler. What
(08:29):
you guys have tickets or badges today? No, I'm I'm
accompanying Mr William Shatner. Wow. Um, I just want to
let you know we're offering free Tyler ask him, did
not look at me? Okay, don't make eye contact. Mr
Shatner please. Okay, if either of you want a free
twenty three and me skin, we could do that for you. Dude, Dude,
(08:50):
William Shatner, I'm I'm I'm people are starting together you
can't have to deal with this. You can't. Okay, I'm
trying to get Mr Shantner to his signing. So this
is a Star Wars convention. We're not letting him in here.
What the funk are you doing? Oh? I don't I
thought he was. I don't know. Oh, I see because
(09:11):
the Star situation. What do you mean a Star situation?
Star Trek fans are mortal enemies with Star Wars fans,
That's what I mean. But I think he's coming in
here to start. Oh okay, well, thank I'm sorry. Let
them in here. Look I'm new here man. Well are
you new to the Star series? Which one? Which one?
(09:34):
So Dylan has come to my attention that you borrowed Williams.
Schattner from entering and based on some kind of nerd beef?
Is that her? Oh my god? Are you really? Is
that why you brought me in here? I thought you
were gonna fucking promote me. I'm the only reason there
wasn't all a blood bath here, Okay. Hat Shatner come in,
there would have been a brutal riot, Dylan, do you
(09:54):
really believe that people would have killed each other from
seeing Schattner at a Star Wars convention? Does this something
you read it? You don't think Shatner came in here
to just enjoy a Star Wars convention? Did you coming
in here for a gang war? Uh? Maria? Can you
close the door? Close the door? You just closing the door?
(10:14):
Stumbled something? Really? I know you guys are have an
a meeting. I don't like it when um your employees
tell me what to do. I'll listen to you. You're
my boss. But when you reiterated closing the door to
I found that to be disrespectful. Okay, Marie, Look, your
mom said you wanted an internship, right, you got an internship. Okay,
So just for the look, can we talk about this
(10:35):
at home? Please? Yes, we can talk about at home.
But I'm saying I don't think part of my internship
should be disrespected by my dad. Okay, I'm shutting the thing.
I'm shutting thing. I'll go back to the front and
I won't be so difficult be on your phone. God,
damn it. When you have a kid, Dylan, I swear
to God, listen, you have stumbled onto something that is
has been going that that is so deep. It's you
(10:57):
know about this? Okay, good. I was a star community up.
The Star Wars community has been trying to take out
William Shatner for over two decades. I hope you guys
enjoyed your movie today. Here you go. Here's your print
out of twenty three and prontouts. Here a complimentary thank you,
Thank you, ma'am. Don't put the paper so close to
(11:19):
your eye. Don't put this wow, how oh where you're right?
I'm okay, I'm okay. I accidentally misheard him and I
scrumbled up the paper and put it in my eye
(11:39):
instead of my eye, so I can't see my results.
But you read yours. You read yours and leave me.
Leave me and read your results. Please. I am sixty
North Europe. I am twenty Russian. Okay. Uh last is
(12:05):
uh seems Ecuadorian? Uh South African? Uh it says I'm here.
Uh it says I'm East Asian. Says so, Mr Shadder,
looks like we're gonna wind up the autograph session just
a little early. The line was not as long as
as we hope for. Okay, I get paid out of
(12:28):
the way. That's that's true. That's true. And also you
know your twenty three and me results. Came back. You
have three DNA matches, Uh, within two hundred yards of you.
I'm sorry, what what kind of test? You have three
DNA matches within two hundred yards of you? Do you
have any did you bring any relatives here? Or no? No,
there's nobody here. I know. How do you even know?
(12:51):
Listen to me. Well, it's the technology they have. Now,
who's they they? Dylan? We have information based on twenty
three and that there are three blood relatives William Shatner
somewhere on the grounds. You need to find bring them back.
We're going to be using them as leverage Agast Shatner,
(13:12):
and we're gonna be using them to get him out
of the picture, if you know what I mean. I
know what you mean, but I'm just thinking, if there's
three matches, one of those matches is William Shatner, right,
and then there's two other people? Or is there a
total of four Shatterer DNA matches? How the questions? My
question is not bear with me, because this is serious. Dylan,
(13:33):
What do you want? I'm just telling everybody to have
a good night. They're just leaving, Dylan, Why are you
looking at me so weird? I'm just can I know
you're new, but can we Let's let's just step away
a little quick. If you noticed anybody here that has
like kind of a Shatner esque like brow to their
(13:53):
eyes or like any I don't know, similarities to you
see that? You see that girl over there who's bleeding
from old of her eyes? Yeah? You see? Well see
you see the guy next to him? Oh my god? Yeah,
I mean is there a they? Yes? Yes, yes, yes,
you see it next to I see. I mean it's
(14:16):
a person. That person does look like well, he's holding
his report. Maybe you could check that report out. Okay, well,
I'm gonna need you to distract him, So why don't
you go over there, get his attention, and then I'll
do my magic. Okay, excuse me. I used to play
linebacker for Alabama. Okay, give me that paper. Uh So,
(14:46):
Mr Shantner and somebody working on that poutine I think
it's on its way to you. I don't think they
have a poutine stand specifically, but they do have fries.
And what is the matter with this country that they
don't have a poutine stand? Yeah? I I know exactly,
and it doesn't make any sense. It was in your writer.
It was in your writer that, well, I have a
writer unless it's matched, unless it's met with respect, that
(15:08):
it doesn't. Also, I got a ransom note that somebody
has kidnapped your son and is holding him hostage somewhere
on the convention floor. But well, that's got to be
a joke of some cut and I don't think it's funny.
It could be, but we should take it seriously. I think,
what's this we business? The gravies here, the gravyes here,
(15:31):
still waiting on those fries. Um, well I'll look into it. Bill.
Uh sorry, Mr Chatterer, dear god Tyler, please don't forget
your place. Also his five dollars, get other pair of
shoes like those who bring me the change. Okay, you're
gonna have to use the force to open the locks. Okay,
(15:54):
you're gonna I'm not actually I'm not actually like a
baby yona or anything. I can actually do this, okay.
I in fact, I'm probably in the worst shape I've
ever been. I can't see. I think I'm giving my
brain a paper gut. So what do you want me
to do? All try but I don't have What do
you want me to do? Just asking me? Just calm down,
(16:16):
calm down. Oh my god, are you trying to escape?
You're trying to escape? Please please, please don't kill us, please?
Were you trying to use the force. It's not real.
It's not real. It's not Oh my god. So I so,
(16:37):
I guess we'll just u I guess we'll just assume
that ransom note was a joke, and uh so that
there is an uber coming to take you back to
your hotel. I'm sorry, do you still want We didn't
have fries, but I could I have wedges if that works.
I know this is late and that work. Mr Shatner,
potato wedges with gravy, room temperature, gravy. I don't acknowledge
(16:57):
the question, Uh what with this? What's that I was talking?
I was just testing a part of me. Um Hi,
Mr Shanner, I work here. I talked to you earlier.
Ship looking at me? God, damn you do a gubacker.
(17:17):
You played linebacker brad Lebanta, didn't you? Holy ship? All right, yeah,
you can feel the bicet there my army. I need
to get Mr Shanders. I don't know if you if
you read your report, Brian, Brian hailback right, Yeah, Brian
Heil back to linebacker. Yeah that's right, fifty four right, yeah, yeah,
(17:42):
you you were a tough Yeah. Hurt my knee. Um,
so if you want to injury, man, that was one
an injury. If ever, I don't even remember it because
I blacked out. So if you you going straight to
the NF failed man, that was the trajectory and then
(18:04):
they just got stopped man, notre dame at this point. Well,
it's just that, you know, I'm running a pop Warner league,
I'm teaching kids and whatnot. But you know i'd always
the second fell the pop Warna. Can I ask you
a question real quick? When you get a moment, could
you please sit down to a steamy boto fu? Could not?
(18:26):
I don't mean right now, when it's convenient. I won't
kick your ass. Man, he likes. That's the nicest thing
anybody today. I'm gonna punch this wall and then a
little bit of you. All right, listen, everybody, okay, Mr Shatner,
or I'll talk to you. The handler. She has three
relatives within fifty yards of him right now? Why does
(18:50):
everyone concerned with my family reunion? I don't understand. Well,
bring these people forward and I'll tell you if they're
related to me, we could bring you Right now, they're
being detained. Are you gonna bring me to them? What
you gotta bring them to? Mr Chef, it's in my riding.
Don't don't tell them how to do it. At seconds
(19:11):
say hey, you'll tackle me? Dude? Oh come on, I'm sorry.
That is just seen one by the way one so
much more. Show seem too. Comes from David, who wrote
(19:33):
High Alchemist. Here's my suggestion, Wall Street guys, uh, buy
out the government to God bless us all this might
come true. XO XO David from Australia. Oh it looks
like the Hong Kong deal just went through. Come come on,
step everybody the chimpanzee. Let's go nine. Hey Sean, what
(20:02):
the hell are you barking at me when I was celebrating.
Uh yeah, I just I saw your numbers in there. Impressive.
I just wanted to say, way to go. Oh yeah,
we're trying to tuck me off. What ain't gonna happen, buddy?
All right, this is a tug free zone. Sean. Yeah,
it wasn't a gay thing. I just um a gay
thing either. I'm just trying to get off. Who gives
a ship? Oh? I see all right. If there's a
(20:23):
heterosexual way to do this, just tell me, Sean. God. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
I got a tip. I got a tip. What is it?
Are you ready? Okay? I know I've been I haven't
been great with my tips lately. I know I've I've
lost some money here there. I understand, I understand. I
thought the future was gonna be in medals and I
(20:44):
was mistaken. It was electronics, and you were right. But
I got a tip. It's from my uncle. Are you
sure this isn't insider trading? But that's exactly what it is, Sean.
Come on, man, relax, grow up, just wand on the record. Alright, alright,
so nobody knows this yet, but tomorrow morning, China time, um,
(21:10):
the government, the United States government. It's good. What's the
government's going public? Yeah? By now? By now, how do
First of all, what's china? Pick up a chimp? And
(21:31):
see pick up? Well? I think I got him off
in one shut. I took the shot. I had one shot,
and I took it. You need a Lawsons or something.
You sound a little Gregley. No, no, this is this
is my trying one of my hall's eucalyptus. Just pop it,
(21:54):
swirl it around to feel the eucalyptus work out. Oh yeah, okay,
so you were saying you got a shot off ditch you.
I killed him. Oh excellent, right in front of everybody.
But he was spilling the beans. I work is done here.
I'm sorry. Hi, I'm sorry. I live in the apartment
(22:15):
below this roof here. I have a baby. I have
a baby that has not thank you very much. It's
not mine. Yeah, I don't know who you are. You too,
with your raspy, dumb little voices and your clumping little feet,
have kept my child up all day. He has not
(22:38):
been able to take a nap, so it's one of
you wanting to him until he falls asleep. The diapers
are in the diaper closet. Sorry, my husband just asked.
The job is trying to help what they're not there? Yes,
I look behind the diapers. You're seeing diapers are behind them. Well,
I can't find the diapers. They're in the bathroom. Maybe
(22:59):
you want to get your house right before you come
rattling around our nutsack. Huh, you're nut sack. Happens to
be on top of my apartment. We got that part,
so you guys need to leave. I don't know what
you're doing here with the snipers. I'm sorry, looking behind
the diapers and there's no diapers here, So what do
you want with diapers? What you look behind is the
(23:19):
thing you're looking for? Stake your shot or am I
just gonna stand here with me? I don't know if
I should kill these cities right here, right, well, don't
tell them, just do it. That's the fifth good trader
we've lost with sniper shot this year. Ye yes, um,
(23:40):
do you do you have anything to add, Todd or
you just muttering an agreement? Yes? Yes, yes, yeah, am mama, mommy, mama. Okay,
well let's go to our first sidem of business today,
which the recommendation of this board purchase the US government. Goodness. Yeah, well,
(24:07):
I know, I know it's a big ask. Yeah, let's
do that. It's a lot of debt. It is a
lot of debt to take on. But if if you
look at these charts that I've prepared, a beautiful my daughter,
my daughter who's artistically inclined, going to yu right, yes, yes, congratulations,
(24:30):
she's starting as a third year. Can I ask a
question about the column listed as upside the upside terence, Yes,
thank you. The upside appears to be rather healthy in
terms of why we might want to buy the American government. Um,
can you speak more to that? Perhaps, Well, I think
(24:51):
it's it's it's clear right there in the charts. I mean,
you see how healthy it's getting. I mean, we're gonna
take a lost first year, second year, third year for
the end of the two year, but your two hundred
and one, I think right after the bison tendio, if
you will, all right, you fucking maggots. You're not brokers yet,
(25:11):
you're fucking babies. Okay, So in thirty seconds when the
market opens, you better start making some fucking calls, and
you better start buying this fucking government and selling this
fucking government and buying this fucking government. You understand, I understand,
your fucking babies. Now, none of you can take your
diapers off until you start making some fucking calls, you understand, okay,
(25:34):
And we can't wait to go to the bathroom. No, no, no,
that's what the diapers are four. And if one of
you fucking babies makes a sell, then you can ring
your rattle and go peepe. I'm just a little concerned
because I think I already filled my diaper up. Damn it, God,
damn it. I mean it's sleeping like fifteen minutes. You
(25:56):
could what nervous. It's when I get nervous. I don't
control The market opens in ten, okay, nine, stop that
it's nine am, China times by here, bye bye. So alright,
(26:23):
so now we got this gut damn baby to deal with.
I wish we hadn't snapped both their necks. When you
say we, I think you know who you're talking about, right,
I mean, you snap their necks, and I got to watch.
It was a great ship. You're so much more nurturing
than I am. I'm much more of a So I'll
take the baby. I'm sure I can get top dollar.
And then alright, everyone, let's just take our seats for
(26:45):
a second here. Just remember to createle the neck. Um.
So we're all new parents, and that's like a really
important and powerful thing to be in a position of
being being a parent. And you know, before we get
into like actually we're gonna be doing the class, I
think it's important to well we all just go around,
say her name, say our child's name, and then talk
a little bit about maybe maybe some of the heart
(27:07):
stuff and some of the beautiful stuff that being apparent
has been for you all. So why don't we start
with um? Well, why don't we start with you two? Hi? Carla,
Jane and Um? My question right out of the shoot
is how do we know when someone's got a little
dump gown? Is it just a smell? Okay, so you
didn't hear what I said? Oh God, do you mind
(27:35):
if I do you mind if I take this? His
name is Carl, my name is Gene, and this is
our little baby. We call it a sport tiger. Uh,
a little guy, a little girl. Uh. Lots of hard stuff.
Big one is is it smells bad? And we wonder
if it's time to change it? Does that answer the questions?
(27:58):
I just want to say, first of all, I think
it's so it's so brave of the two of you
to be raising a child together. I really the black
form fitting outfits you're you're wearing. I would love it
if you took off those masks, though, look your face,
let's your faces. You might not like the outcome if
we have to take the black masks off. Let's just
(28:19):
leave that there. And also but in ski. Thanks, So
back to my question the dumper roof. Alright, guys, alright,
you fucking maggots. It's closed, markets closed. Let's see what
we did here? Can the taker paper? All right? I'm
(28:39):
looking at the reports here. Uh, you've done good. You've
done really good. Everybody for everyone, everyone really good. Johnson,
Get closer to him, Johnson, get closer to him. I
need to see what's on that paper. Just get closer
to Can we take off the dipe? Uh? Yep, take
(29:00):
got the dipe the dip to do it? What do
you mean underneath it's my privates totally exposed. Okay, there's
no privates here. Okay, everything's out in the open most
and if you sold more than three shares, you got
to share your three bears, all right, settle down board.
(29:21):
We weren't able China, China beat us to the punch
because they were on China time, China time, and we do.
We were able to sell broker Babies as a as
a cartoon to Nick Jr. Though, Yeah, we're getting into
(29:43):
intellectual property now and broker Babies. I think it's going
to be a breakout hit. Do we have any um
any leads on who might be voicing these babies? Oh?
Do you want to sounds like someone you want to
get into it. No, I was thinking maybe we can
get or something. Don't mean I don't know. He's wonderful.
(30:04):
He's wonderful. Yeah, I love his um you should just
well you look, I don't have enough chimpanzees, all right,
this guy, Damn Wall Street guys keep on buying him,
and I don't got enough. So I'm sorry. Your kid's
(30:25):
not gonna be able to have a chimpanzee this year.
That's just how it is. But but but it's it's
two days before christ Us. Hey, I know that, all right?
And look, if you want something, then maybe go up
to Wall Street tell him this job to promise my
boy a chimpanzee. Look, man, I don't know what the
fucking tell you. All right, I don't got any guy
damned chimpanzee's and you gotta stop coming by here. Okay,
(30:50):
we got one more. It's a he's broken as fuck,
most of most of his bones are shattered, but hey,
he's breathing. We got that outbreak at Chimpanzee, The outbreak
one what do you say. I'll take you anything, anything. Yeah,
you know what, Let's do it all right, let's do
it all right. Doesn't have to be a baby. No,
(31:11):
this seems old as hell. Alright, this is old chimpanzee. Alright,
space eater chimpanzee. Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, it's that
it's got the outbreak disease inside of it. Uh, I
mean old bunch of ship. Anyway, listen, don't let your
kid near it. Don't let your kid near it. Did
did they ever cure that virus from outbreak? I don't know. Look,
(31:34):
I like what I need you to know. What I
need you to know right now is that he's gonna
flake off some skin, alright, and I can't have your
kids eating that chimpanzee skin. Alright. Oh my kid is
very tactile. Whatever, man, watch my hands, I'm watching my alright.
Does does he do tricks? If you go dogg into
(31:57):
the board meeting? I figured this is maybe it's a
d organ The meeting would be, um, well, I've seen
people bring babies. I've seen people people buying up. Are
you going to nurse the dog on your nipple? Is
that what you're telling us? I'd like me see that
given Nancy can do it during the board meetings, so
(32:19):
I can't. I put a dog upon my nipple. I
don't mean to interrupt here, but more more puzzling than
the puppy on the lap is Stan. Are you drinking comber? Why? Yes,
I am. We have a development deal with Kimbucha. I
just got word. By the way, the pat Oswald has passed.
(32:41):
You don't say you don't say that is seen to
a hard passed and passed on. See three yet patron.
If you be Thomas Getsy who wrote Hello alchemist, James,
look away because this is for Kevin. I love what
(33:03):
you all did with my previous suggestion Burger, so I
thought that I would write in again with another one
word suggestion. This time Possum can't wait to hear it.
Stay safe, stay funny, Sincerely, Thomas from Virginia. PS. Just
listen to the most recent episode, James, it may be
a good idea to cut down to one and a
(33:24):
half jugs of coffee per day. At least he's got
the measurement correct. H. I don't think she's actually dead.
I think I think she's pretending to be dead. The
head is on the other side of the road. Your
what was that You hit the possum with your car
(33:46):
and you don't think it's Oh I I don't. I
think it's faking it, honestly, kids, let's all get back
in the car. And the head is on the other side.
The head is attached from the body. Well, it's don't
pick it up, don't touch it. I have to look
it's it's I think it's fair. You're gonna put it
(34:06):
back together. Father, I'll let me just see if it
pops on. Let's just see if it well, look, it's
pretty much connected. Dad. This isn't like one of your legos.
What do you mean? Of course, the spirit, the spirit
of the forest curses this what's happening? Can no one
(34:28):
hear me? You could no one hear me before I
was in the spirit of the force. I can hear
you can. If you can hear me, give me like
a give me a thumbs up, or sometimes we can here.
You are you being so timid? Oh my bad, I
was supposed to. I was just coming in as a
gust of window cursed uh, that guy for killing the possum.
(34:51):
But oh I didn't kill the possum. I'm I'm pretty
sure it's alive. I mean its head is over there.
Well look at this, Okay, you just popped it on.
You didn't have to lick the vertebrate to stick it
back in. It just moved. Look it's I'm putting it
(35:12):
back down. It's it's slow, sure, but it's moving. Dad.
Can you stop being a word out for one second
and let me ask the spirit of wind you've come
from the forest, good spirit. Well, I mean I'm actually
the spirit of the forest. I was just embodying window
to whisper. You're the You're the spirit of the forest.
There aren't several, it's just you all four. Yeah, and
(35:38):
how did you get this position? Uh? This is gonna
blow your mind. This is really gonna gonna But um
many many many many, many many many many years ago
before time with this, By the way, you know what
I'm done. You know what, honestly I do every time
(35:58):
I talked to a person about just to try to
bring in Hey, Bobby, I see you playing with your
ball over there. Huh, come on with here a second.
Talk to your uncle for a moment. Come here, Buck,
what's up? Bunk? Listen? You know um m, you know,
being a possum is the best thing in the world, right,
(36:19):
I mean, we get to play whenever we want, We
eat trash, we eat you know, whatever we want. It's
a good time. We only go out at night. Yeah,
that's right, that's right. You know, you know, every possum
comes to a point in their lives where they got
to be a big boy, big boy. Yeah, and I
think that time has come for you. You do, I do.
(36:42):
It's tonight, tonight. Listen. Chuck's dead. Your dad's dead. What's
happening your dad? Chuck? Yeah, he's dead. Okay, this is
a test of some kind, so not a test. Okay,
if you want to take a peek, it's a human
right now, trying to put his head back on his body.
(37:02):
Of course, the spirit of the forest is there, because
he's always got to be everyone. I want to take
a peek. Where where am I peeking? All right? Right
over there at the highway. Can you hear the trucks
going by, Yeng Hong? Where's his head? I think it's
on his body. I think that that human puffed it
(37:22):
back up. But listen once you see you can't Jesus man,
you showed him his dead dad's body. These behind you. Man,
just give me another beer, asshole. You know my therapist
you work at the in this fucking tree bar. Yeah,
I do. Man, Maybe you've had enough, all right? You know,
maybe maybe you're a son of a bitch. Did you
ever think about that that? Maybe did you ever think
(37:44):
that maybe your mom loved more than one? Man? What
the fuck is your deal? Man? Okay? Can I get
this shot? And nuts? Stilled up? Yeah? Hey? What's your name? Yeah? Pissy?
Oh that's pretty, that's really pretty. You like kissing, You're
like kissing, You're like kissing possum noses. I'm a worm,
(38:08):
I'm an earthworm. I could kind of slither and you
could kiss her. Iver you want? Both sides are good?
Who saw my brother died today? All right, everybody, let's
(38:28):
get back in the car and let's just this didn't happen.
It completely happened, Dad, and you tried to pop the
possum's head onto its ass, and nobody thought it was real.
The real thing that we don't think is real, asshole,
pretended to be the spirit of the forest. I mean,
I'm a legitally spirit of the port. I don't think
(38:49):
he is. That doesn't exist. We don't believe in that larchy.
I can tell you that he is legitimately the spirit
of the forest, but he is a little out of
his jurisdiction. I'm this period of the road, just rich.
I don't believe in these kinds of things. Excuse me,
we're gonna hit the road. Okay, ah, you're gonna hit me,
(39:13):
Mr Spirit, Mr Spirit, Will you guide us on our journey?
Already happened these strangers, so you you guided us into
my dad driving over the possible face. Remember that bathroom
break you asked for about two hours ago. Yeah, yeah,
that was me. Nice work. Yeah, and I was the
(39:35):
one who made that convenience store have mancho's. Yeah, any
more animals you paid to me? Okay, Sally and carl Um,
(39:56):
thank you for sharing what you did on your winter break. Whatever. Now,
I would like to encourage the other students who get
up to talk to tell a real story what actually
happened to them? Whoa over the holiday season? That pictures? Yeah,
there's no spirited yes, yes, oh h Charlie the whole
(40:20):
time he's got gifted a chimpan. Then I ate some
of its skin and you can't even talk. I got
so sick. I I got gifted a chimpanzee and then
I ate some of its skin and I got I
got sick. I guess you believe that more than what
(40:43):
we told you. Look, if you want to bring in
one of these spirits, spirit of the road, spirit of
the forest, you want to bring in passa, then then
maybe I'll believe it. Okay, but this is not make
believe time. This is what really happened time. Well, we
can't bring them in because it's a different spirit that
has a jurisdiction in the classroom. Is everything okay at home? No? No.
(41:04):
Our father is a freak. Our father is a total freak,
a zoid. Haven't you met him at the parent teacher meetings?
Do you want to be a broker? It looks like
your past work experience. You were teaching for a while. Yeah, yeah,
I taught uh and uh and I sold education, you know,
out of premium. So so why do you want to
(41:25):
become a broke I just thought I can make a
little more money. I thought maybe I could move and
shake you know, I, um, you know, the dividends on
the education we're paying out so high. I thought i'd
move the portfolio. I'm gonna cut the buzzwords off real quick,
and I'm gonna ask the real questions. Do you mind
pissing and shifting on yourself? What do you mind going
(41:51):
poop poo and peepe on your body? No? No, I
could do that. Yeah, you're gonna have to do that
because here we're selling and buying things on Wall Street.
Can open the store and pee can see what you got.
You got the cajonas. Check it out. Sign me up,
(42:19):
Sign me up? All right, send you on. I'm gonna
send you up for three months. How much? How much
you want to I want to work here forever, so yeah,
you want to sign you Let's get a membership going here?
All right? Stark, Star Wars and Star Trek. No, thank you? What,
(42:40):
I'm sorry? You gotta pick one Star Wars and Star Trek.
And there is a wrong answer that Star Star Wars
and Star Trek. Yes, yes, I'm in. There is a
wrong answer. Which one? Yeah, I'll take the right one.
Which one? Okay, Star Wars. You gotta pay b A
(43:04):
B A B up to up down, select start, let's
get going. There is a wrong answer. Um, sorry, principle. Um,
we we're just kind of curious. Because our teacher just
walked out of the classroom and we haven't had a
replacement for the week. So we kind of made an
agreement as a class that after the week we will
(43:24):
come in and tell you. So that's kind of what's
going on. So, uh, you've just been sitting there, no
no to be kind of like have formed like our
own society, you know what I mean? It kind of
we find it was like a fairal thing and now
we have like our own kind of self sustaining government
(43:46):
and economy. But um, I guess what's the problem. So
what's the problem? Just what my brother maybe come in
here and tell you. I guess, I guess I made
a mistake. I don't know. I'm sorry. Now, I don't cry.
Don't cry. I have to report this if you cry,
I know, but I can't help it. If an adult
ask me a question, I just started to cry. Okay,
(44:09):
look it's gonna be okay. We lose a lot of
teachers to Wall Streets every year. You know, you know
what Wall Street is? Right, You've seen broker Babies, a
favorite comics and podcast guests. Honey, honey, have you seen
the kids? Um, I mean they go to school right. Yeah,
(44:34):
I feel like it's been like a business week long
that I haven't seen them. There's been like eight days.
I think I need to bring him back to where
we found him. Maybe we should find the kids before
(44:55):
we deal with the spirit of the road. Well, they've
been gone since Monday. I think they might be avoiding
the spirit of the road. Would you come back home
if you had the spirit of the road waiting for you? Wow,
now that you put it like that, I guess that
philosophical look. Yes, cheto dust on his fingers. I say,
(45:16):
we slid his throat. Yes, that's not his throat. Dumb
dumb principle. Now, I went into some of your classrooms
doing it not as I did, and I found that
one classroom in particular, there was a lot of red flags.
(45:38):
It seems like the students have formed some kind of
primitive that their their national flag is just solid red,
so that's they're all waving it. Yet, well, some of
the kids in there, they seem to be mutilated in
the strung up. How much money are they make? Look,
(46:00):
you know it's their their own, you know, self perpetuating economy.
Like I don't ask too many questions, all right, open up.
You killed my brother, you son of a bitch. Uh,
it's hello, Hello, look down here. They're a little guy.
(46:22):
Don't you can hand away with your hand with my face?
Oh my god, no, I like you shouldn't be out here.
I'm breaking all the rules. I'm breaking all the rules.
You got on your mouth. Let me just actually, if
you're gonna be nasty, that you can get off my porch.
My brother was the only one that loved me. You
(46:44):
understand that. Oh my god, I understand that. Oh my god.
I'm so sorry. I didn't kill your brother. He was
playing plus um, so you fucking see that to me.
I know where your kids are, and I'm headed to
your kids right what now? Hey, honey, honey, Yeah, that
(47:08):
was awkward. Man, that was awkward. Listen, you're awkward. You
could have done something too. You just sat here and
looked at him. I'm not the spirit of the whole man, Jesus.
I guess I gotta should I follow after him? You
gotta get in your car for me to do any
good to you. Oh cool, I probably need to take
my car to follow that possible possibly only North American marsupio.
(47:31):
By the way, that's kind of cool. Well, that's that
is pretty cool. I got a lot of you know,
that's what makes you. That's our show for today. My
oh my, everybody, Let's give great thanks to each and
every damn one of these alchemists, starting with Caroline Cup Caroline,
(47:54):
is there any sort of project or online shenanigans you'd
like to point people towards. Wow, that's a really good question,
and it really home in a way that I wasn't expecting.
I'm not doing anything. You can find me on Instagram
at cotter Poop, but I have I deleted it from
my phone now, so I'm not going to be checking that. Okay.
(48:14):
Good heads up though, appreciate that very much and appreciate
you back in the fold even though. Yeah, and not
be holidays and happy hanukah m. Thank you. Yeah? Yeah,
you know you remember which night it is? Right? Yeah? Okay,
James Cenney, Hi, do you remember which night of hank
(48:37):
it is? It's the third night of Hanukkah. I just
wanted to say I was trying not to tear up,
but we just got a really short but sweet review
from Yoga Monster via Apple Podcasts in Canada, and it
says that this podcast makes life bearable during quarantine five
(49:00):
star review. It's not the third day of Hanakah. Let's
focus on the review. That's great, that's beautiful and appreciated. Yeah,
it was I I honestly I opened up and started
looking at the views, and it jarred me. I did
not expect to see another five star review. Uh, just
(49:21):
tearing at my heart strings. All right, well, set set
those expectations a little lower and you'll be fine. I
thank Chris Alvarado, thank you so much for getting off
the surfboard and coming back into our hearts. No problem, bra,
and listen, everyone knows five star reviews means it's the
fifth day of hanakah, saying there's another try and not
(49:42):
a correct answer. But okay, cool, Loving you, uh huh, well,
I love you. I love everyone who listens. And hey,
the anniversary Chris, Wait, how did you know that? I
read it in the calendar? Oh, very nice, thank you,
thank you. The anniversary of what No, no, no, of
course not all the all the important events are in
(50:03):
my calendar. So shout out to Alchemy that yes, the
podcast that talks about our podcast. Um, that's really fun,
kind of scary, but also fun and informative and informative.
Craig Kikowski, thank you so damn much. Is tonight the
(50:23):
seventh died of Hanako close? So I have a hard
time believing Craig didn't know the answer to that that
that is the correct answer, of course. Yeah, it's so close.
It's correct. Yeah, it's right on the money. Yeah, I
ripped my uh my sister's kids have been Jewish for
a couple of years now, and uh I really miss
(50:45):
uh not being able to go over for latcause, which
is a tradition that we've done for three years. Yeah.
Did the kids just decide on their own to become
Jews or pretty much? Awesome? Yeah, that's pretty great. You
don't see that happening anymore. No, they I don't think
they fully know what they're in for, at least not
in the last four years when it was a little
(51:06):
dangerous to Jewish descent. Yeah. Uh. Joey Grier one of
my favorite Jews from from the Old Country. That's it good.
I'm actually thinking about making lock this tonight. I got
some Russi potatoes. I'm gonna try to do do my thing.
I got some vegetable oil. Oh boy, I'm in deep
(51:26):
frill these mothers. Al right, well, can't wait to see
the video of that on your new Instagram account. Just
what again, garbage face? Who what is it? No, No,
it's it's not garbage face. It's God bless chim chump,
garbage face, God bless garbage. No garbage face. Oh, God's
blessed childie chim chim chim chum chump. Okay, God bless
(51:51):
chim chump. Got it. Show respect, garbage face. Let's thank
our engineering producer the Stars, Mr Doug B. Find folks
that I heart media and each and every damn one
of you for giving us a listen however you might
be doing that, write a review, or just write to
us at your name here me this dot com. Thanks
(52:12):
for all the fabulous patron supporters. More special content coming
your way. There might be a cast tank coming up
around the corner. We'll see James will send you a reminder.
Uh yeah, and be kind to each other and happy holidays.
Let those go together until next time.
Welcome back to another episode about any edition. I'm your host.
I got a kiss. Yes, I'm not sure that's your business.
What do you what do you see? I A but
I digress. Let's meet a show no particular order. They
(00:23):
say good morning to Caroline cut Ter, not even nice
win or how did you discover there may not in
fact be a Santa clause? Um? I saw a picture
from like an earlier Christmas with all the presents wrapped
(00:43):
under the tree at night, and I was like, damn,
you know what I mean? That chess doesn't check out.
So I figured out myself, like I do everything, I
do it all on my own. I'm good, I'm fine,
all right, fair enough? Yeah, Hey, it's James Enny, Jimmy
Jingles Hinman. How does Santa bring toys to all the
(01:07):
children in the world? Uh? He outsources. Uh is what
I imagined he must do a long time ago. Population
it grows exponentially, so in like the nineteen twenties or thirties,
there's probably like a hundred thousand people on the planet.
But then each one that has two or more kids,
it starts doubling the population. So that's why now he
(01:30):
doesn't have a choice he has to use factories all
over the world. That makes sense, um, Other than the
there were only hundreds of thousands of people in the thirties,
it may have been it's the numbers. I mean they're growing,
they're growing fast. Yes, yes they are. Hey, and now
here's Craig Atkowski with traffic. I'm on the four oh
(01:53):
five right now. Wildfires on either so there are charms overhead.
There is no action on God's green Earth for what
is happening right now. A quarantine, Uh, this and occur
for you that should not be happening. It's three am
(02:15):
and I've been bumping up upper traffic on the four
oh five. Back to you, al, thank you. Hey, there's
Chris Alvarado. Mr Chris comments on the latest episode of
Below Deck. Please. I didn't watch. We google calling. They
(02:36):
talked earlier. I worked on an audition last night. When
I came down, Jessica said we still have to watch
Below Deck tonight, and I said, I can't do it tonight. Okay.
I will not say a word other than can't wait
to talk to you afterwards. It's it's a show stopper.
I'll say that. Joe, don't don't Okay, dude, don't seriously
wait for your turn. But don't ruin this, dude. I
(02:58):
love that show. Fuck do they kick off one a week? Okay, yeah,
it's not a joke to everybody. There's a there's a
leak in the bottom of the yacht, and in the
bottom of the yacht. That's where the leak is. In
the bottom. Yeah, that's on top. Christmas spam for you
(03:19):
if you think it leaves. It's Joey Greer bfalo Joe
what should people know about it? Befalo Is is a
fantastic company. They're they're going public soon and I really
think you should invest. I think you're gonna be able
to get so much of your money back. Uh, not
only immediately, but over time. You know. It's just like
when air Boil went public, where people were like this,
(03:40):
this can't believe this is you know, I mean the
saluity royal families worth trillions of dollars and most of
the money is obviously, if not all of it is
in their wild same thing with b Flow. If you
look at the royal family Tennessee, they're all their money
comes from b Flow and now they want to go
public and this is an opportunity to get those stocks
to get on the ground floor and make your I'm
(04:01):
telling you right now, you're not only gonna make five times,
You're not gonna make ten times, and you're gonna make
somewhere between eleven to twelve times your money back. And
I can guarantee that on a single eighteen nine O
I P O four four uh D backs. And if
we run a double two and we're for fourth down
and six yards, we're gonna be able to make a
(04:22):
handle a gelatinous jelly meat. Let's do a damn show.
All of our scene suggestions are gathered from gelatinous meat.
Wait what from your listener emails that's what it says,
or from our patron v i P. S To come
of Patron's report of the show and enjoy exclusive content
like video of gelatinous meat, just head on over to
patreon dot com slash alchemy this. If you'd like to
(04:44):
submit a scene suggestion via email, please right to the
podcast at your name here and alchemy this dot com.
That's your name here dot com. Crimon comes from patroon
v I P. Nicholas Mark Howard or Nicholas mock Our,
who wrote Hi, Kevin. By chance, I stumbled on an
old clip of you doing Colombo impressions in the eighties
(05:06):
or so. Why didn't anyone ever tell me you were
funny before alchemy? This blamo? Come on, man, you're great.
I'm just messing with you. I just never knew you
could do accents anyway. A Star Wars fan finds out
that William Shatter is his real father. H tickets, Please,
(05:32):
you guys have badges or tickets or something. Oh yeah,
we have the badge acts. We're gonna be able to go.
We're gonna be able to go backstage. Okay, just put
it under the light there. I need to examine it.
Oh wow, you you have v I P. Pas Cheryl
you okay, what you say? Just a light burn. I
(05:54):
looked right into the light. I thought you said and that.
He said, look all right, my head on through. You
know where you're going, right? Thank you? Thank you? Yeah? Yeah,
we're v I P. Correct. Let me just see here. Okay, um,
close your eyes. This is a laser. It will okay
if you look into it. Okay, scanning, scanning, scanning. Sure,
(06:18):
are you all right? No, I'm sorry, he said, close
your eyes. I thought he might open your eyes, and
he misspoke, so I opened them and look into the laser.
I look into the laser. Oh that's okay, all right, Well, wow,
you guys have some real good passes here. I'll tell
you what. Thanks. Yeah, actually we actually had to go
into her. Okay, Oh man, this is gonna be amazing.
This is so crazy. I can't believe you have p
(06:40):
I mean know, iye bleeding a little bit. Oh my gosh, exciting,
Oh my god. Okay, from now on, you have to
refer to me as Mandough and I'm only going to
refer to you as grow Goo. Yes, I know, grow
goo and your man do. Let's go and okay up, no,
(07:05):
it got me. I think it pointed right in the
back of my skull and then kind of from there
like made fractals inside of my brain. Before you enter
the theater, we gotta do a cheek swab. We're gonna
do it a complimentary twenty three and me um when
you come out, well see if your relatives in the theater.
You're just gonna take our DNA complimentary. That's great, It's
(07:27):
gonna work for you. Man. Do you know you're an
orphan and you can just close your eyes please and open.
I I th inside of my eye. Okay, I'm sorry,
grogre Are you okay? Grog? Are you are right? I'm fine? Man,
(07:47):
don sorry, Okay, on your way out, you can go
ahead and go to the desk and we'll tell you
you know what. You're twenty three and said, thank you
so much. Hey, we actually got these badges in that.
Oh he's gone, yeah, this is so I eat you there. Um,
(08:08):
you said you are my my handler, and I'm I'm
just uh. Do you have a name that I might
forget soon? Yeah? Yeah, Mr Shatner, I'm I'm Tyler. Tyler
is that a first name or a lot? It's my
last name actually, but but everyone calls me Tyler. What
(08:29):
you guys have tickets or badges today? No, I'm I'm
accompanying Mr William Shatner. Wow. Um, I just want to
let you know we're offering free Tyler ask him, did
not look at me? Okay, don't make eye contact. Mr
Shatner please. Okay, if either of you want a free
twenty three and me skin, we could do that for you. Dude, Dude,
(08:50):
William Shatner, I'm I'm I'm people are starting together you
can't have to deal with this. You can't. Okay, I'm
trying to get Mr Shantner to his signing. So this
is a Star Wars convention. We're not letting him in here.
What the funk are you doing? Oh? I don't I
thought he was. I don't know. Oh, I see because
(09:11):
the Star situation. What do you mean a Star situation?
Star Trek fans are mortal enemies with Star Wars fans,
That's what I mean. But I think he's coming in
here to start. Oh okay, well, thank I'm sorry. Let
them in here. Look I'm new here man. Well are
you new to the Star series? Which one? Which one?
(09:34):
So Dylan has come to my attention that you borrowed Williams.
Schattner from entering and based on some kind of nerd beef?
Is that her? Oh my god? Are you really? Is
that why you brought me in here? I thought you
were gonna fucking promote me. I'm the only reason there
wasn't all a blood bath here, Okay. Hat Shatner come in,
there would have been a brutal riot, Dylan, do you
(09:54):
really believe that people would have killed each other from
seeing Schattner at a Star Wars convention? Does this something
you read it? You don't think Shatner came in here
to just enjoy a Star Wars convention? Did you coming
in here for a gang war? Uh? Maria? Can you
close the door? Close the door? You just closing the door?
(10:14):
Stumbled something? Really? I know you guys are have an
a meeting. I don't like it when um your employees
tell me what to do. I'll listen to you. You're
my boss. But when you reiterated closing the door to
I found that to be disrespectful. Okay, Marie, Look, your
mom said you wanted an internship, right, you got an internship. Okay,
So just for the look, can we talk about this
(10:35):
at home? Please? Yes, we can talk about at home.
But I'm saying I don't think part of my internship
should be disrespected by my dad. Okay, I'm shutting the thing.
I'm shutting thing. I'll go back to the front and
I won't be so difficult be on your phone. God,
damn it. When you have a kid, Dylan, I swear
to God, listen, you have stumbled onto something that is
has been going that that is so deep. It's you
(10:57):
know about this? Okay, good. I was a star community up.
The Star Wars community has been trying to take out
William Shatner for over two decades. I hope you guys
enjoyed your movie today. Here you go. Here's your print
out of twenty three and prontouts. Here a complimentary thank you,
Thank you, ma'am. Don't put the paper so close to
(11:19):
your eye. Don't put this wow, how oh where you're right?
I'm okay, I'm okay. I accidentally misheard him and I
scrumbled up the paper and put it in my eye
(11:39):
instead of my eye, so I can't see my results.
But you read yours. You read yours and leave me.
Leave me and read your results. Please. I am sixty
North Europe. I am twenty Russian. Okay. Uh last is
(12:05):
uh seems Ecuadorian? Uh South African? Uh it says I'm here.
Uh it says I'm East Asian. Says so, Mr Shadder,
looks like we're gonna wind up the autograph session just
a little early. The line was not as long as
as we hope for. Okay, I get paid out of
(12:28):
the way. That's that's true. That's true. And also you
know your twenty three and me results. Came back. You
have three DNA matches, Uh, within two hundred yards of you.
I'm sorry, what what kind of test? You have three
DNA matches within two hundred yards of you? Do you
have any did you bring any relatives here? Or no? No,
there's nobody here. I know. How do you even know?
(12:51):
Listen to me. Well, it's the technology they have. Now,
who's they they? Dylan? We have information based on twenty
three and that there are three blood relatives William Shatner
somewhere on the grounds. You need to find bring them back.
We're going to be using them as leverage Agast Shatner,
(13:12):
and we're gonna be using them to get him out
of the picture, if you know what I mean. I
know what you mean, but I'm just thinking, if there's
three matches, one of those matches is William Shatner, right,
and then there's two other people? Or is there a
total of four Shatterer DNA matches? How the questions? My
question is not bear with me, because this is serious. Dylan,
(13:33):
What do you want? I'm just telling everybody to have
a good night. They're just leaving, Dylan, Why are you
looking at me so weird? I'm just can I know
you're new, but can we Let's let's just step away
a little quick. If you noticed anybody here that has
like kind of a Shatner esque like brow to their
(13:53):
eyes or like any I don't know, similarities to you
see that? You see that girl over there who's bleeding
from old of her eyes? Yeah? You see? Well see
you see the guy next to him? Oh my god? Yeah,
I mean is there a they? Yes? Yes, yes, yes,
you see it next to I see. I mean it's
(14:16):
a person. That person does look like well, he's holding
his report. Maybe you could check that report out. Okay, well,
I'm gonna need you to distract him, So why don't
you go over there, get his attention, and then I'll
do my magic. Okay, excuse me. I used to play
linebacker for Alabama. Okay, give me that paper. Uh So,
(14:46):
Mr Shantner and somebody working on that poutine I think
it's on its way to you. I don't think they
have a poutine stand specifically, but they do have fries.
And what is the matter with this country that they
don't have a poutine stand? Yeah? I I know exactly,
and it doesn't make any sense. It was in your writer.
It was in your writer that, well, I have a
writer unless it's matched, unless it's met with respect, that
(15:08):
it doesn't. Also, I got a ransom note that somebody
has kidnapped your son and is holding him hostage somewhere
on the convention floor. But well, that's got to be
a joke of some cut and I don't think it's funny.
It could be, but we should take it seriously. I think,
what's this we business? The gravies here, the gravyes here,
(15:31):
still waiting on those fries. Um, well I'll look into it. Bill.
Uh sorry, Mr Chatterer, dear god Tyler, please don't forget
your place. Also his five dollars, get other pair of
shoes like those who bring me the change. Okay, you're
gonna have to use the force to open the locks. Okay,
(15:54):
you're gonna I'm not actually I'm not actually like a
baby yona or anything. I can actually do this, okay.
I in fact, I'm probably in the worst shape I've
ever been. I can't see. I think I'm giving my
brain a paper gut. So what do you want me
to do? All try but I don't have What do
you want me to do? Just asking me? Just calm down,
(16:16):
calm down. Oh my god, are you trying to escape?
You're trying to escape? Please please, please don't kill us, please?
Were you trying to use the force. It's not real.
It's not real. It's not Oh my god. So I so,
(16:37):
I guess we'll just u I guess we'll just assume
that ransom note was a joke, and uh so that
there is an uber coming to take you back to
your hotel. I'm sorry, do you still want We didn't
have fries, but I could I have wedges if that works.
I know this is late and that work. Mr Shatner,
potato wedges with gravy, room temperature, gravy. I don't acknowledge
(16:57):
the question, Uh what with this? What's that I was talking?
I was just testing a part of me. Um Hi,
Mr Shanner, I work here. I talked to you earlier.
Ship looking at me? God, damn you do a gubacker.
(17:17):
You played linebacker brad Lebanta, didn't you? Holy ship? All right, yeah,
you can feel the bicet there my army. I need
to get Mr Shanders. I don't know if you if
you read your report, Brian, Brian hailback right, Yeah, Brian
Heil back to linebacker. Yeah that's right, fifty four right, yeah, yeah,
(17:42):
you you were a tough Yeah. Hurt my knee. Um,
so if you want to injury, man, that was one
an injury. If ever, I don't even remember it because
I blacked out. So if you you going straight to
the NF failed man, that was the trajectory and then
(18:04):
they just got stopped man, notre dame at this point. Well,
it's just that, you know, I'm running a pop Warner league,
I'm teaching kids and whatnot. But you know i'd always
the second fell the pop Warna. Can I ask you
a question real quick? When you get a moment, could
you please sit down to a steamy boto fu? Could not?
(18:26):
I don't mean right now, when it's convenient. I won't
kick your ass. Man, he likes. That's the nicest thing
anybody today. I'm gonna punch this wall and then a
little bit of you. All right, listen, everybody, okay, Mr Shatner,
or I'll talk to you. The handler. She has three
relatives within fifty yards of him right now? Why does
(18:50):
everyone concerned with my family reunion? I don't understand. Well,
bring these people forward and I'll tell you if they're
related to me, we could bring you Right now, they're
being detained. Are you gonna bring me to them? What
you gotta bring them to? Mr Chef, it's in my riding.
Don't don't tell them how to do it. At seconds
(19:11):
say hey, you'll tackle me? Dude? Oh come on, I'm sorry.
That is just seen one by the way one so
much more. Show seem too. Comes from David, who wrote
(19:33):
High Alchemist. Here's my suggestion, Wall Street guys, uh, buy
out the government to God bless us all this might
come true. XO XO David from Australia. Oh it looks
like the Hong Kong deal just went through. Come come on,
step everybody the chimpanzee. Let's go nine. Hey Sean, what
(20:02):
the hell are you barking at me when I was celebrating.
Uh yeah, I just I saw your numbers in there. Impressive.
I just wanted to say, way to go. Oh yeah,
we're trying to tuck me off. What ain't gonna happen, buddy?
All right, this is a tug free zone. Sean. Yeah,
it wasn't a gay thing. I just um a gay
thing either. I'm just trying to get off. Who gives
a ship? Oh? I see all right. If there's a
(20:23):
heterosexual way to do this, just tell me, Sean. God. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
I got a tip. I got a tip. What is it?
Are you ready? Okay? I know I've been I haven't
been great with my tips lately. I know I've I've
lost some money here there. I understand, I understand. I
thought the future was gonna be in medals and I
(20:44):
was mistaken. It was electronics, and you were right. But
I got a tip. It's from my uncle. Are you
sure this isn't insider trading? But that's exactly what it is, Sean.
Come on, man, relax, grow up, just wand on the record. Alright, alright,
so nobody knows this yet, but tomorrow morning, China time, um,
(21:10):
the government, the United States government. It's good. What's the
government's going public? Yeah? By now? By now, how do
First of all, what's china? Pick up a chimp? And
(21:31):
see pick up? Well? I think I got him off
in one shut. I took the shot. I had one shot,
and I took it. You need a Lawsons or something.
You sound a little Gregley. No, no, this is this
is my trying one of my hall's eucalyptus. Just pop it,
(21:54):
swirl it around to feel the eucalyptus work out. Oh yeah, okay,
so you were saying you got a shot off ditch you.
I killed him. Oh excellent, right in front of everybody.
But he was spilling the beans. I work is done here.
I'm sorry. Hi, I'm sorry. I live in the apartment
(22:15):
below this roof here. I have a baby. I have
a baby that has not thank you very much. It's
not mine. Yeah, I don't know who you are. You too,
with your raspy, dumb little voices and your clumping little feet,
have kept my child up all day. He has not
(22:38):
been able to take a nap, so it's one of
you wanting to him until he falls asleep. The diapers
are in the diaper closet. Sorry, my husband just asked.
The job is trying to help what they're not there? Yes,
I look behind the diapers. You're seeing diapers are behind them. Well,
I can't find the diapers. They're in the bathroom. Maybe
(22:59):
you want to get your house right before you come
rattling around our nutsack. Huh, you're nut sack. Happens to
be on top of my apartment. We got that part,
so you guys need to leave. I don't know what
you're doing here with the snipers. I'm sorry, looking behind
the diapers and there's no diapers here, So what do
you want with diapers? What you look behind is the
(23:19):
thing you're looking for? Stake your shot or am I
just gonna stand here with me? I don't know if
I should kill these cities right here, right, well, don't
tell them, just do it. That's the fifth good trader
we've lost with sniper shot this year. Ye yes, um,
(23:40):
do you do you have anything to add, Todd or
you just muttering an agreement? Yes? Yes, yes, yeah, am mama, mommy, mama. Okay,
well let's go to our first sidem of business today,
which the recommendation of this board purchase the US government. Goodness. Yeah, well,
(24:07):
I know, I know it's a big ask. Yeah, let's
do that. It's a lot of debt. It is a
lot of debt to take on. But if if you
look at these charts that I've prepared, a beautiful my daughter,
my daughter who's artistically inclined, going to yu right, yes, yes, congratulations,
(24:30):
she's starting as a third year. Can I ask a
question about the column listed as upside the upside terence, Yes,
thank you. The upside appears to be rather healthy in
terms of why we might want to buy the American government. Um,
can you speak more to that? Perhaps, Well, I think
(24:51):
it's it's it's clear right there in the charts. I mean,
you see how healthy it's getting. I mean, we're gonna
take a lost first year, second year, third year for
the end of the two year, but your two hundred
and one, I think right after the bison tendio, if
you will, all right, you fucking maggots. You're not brokers yet,
(25:11):
you're fucking babies. Okay, So in thirty seconds when the
market opens, you better start making some fucking calls, and
you better start buying this fucking government and selling this
fucking government and buying this fucking government. You understand, I understand,
your fucking babies. Now, none of you can take your
diapers off until you start making some fucking calls, you understand, okay,
(25:34):
And we can't wait to go to the bathroom. No, no, no,
that's what the diapers are four. And if one of
you fucking babies makes a sell, then you can ring
your rattle and go peepe. I'm just a little concerned
because I think I already filled my diaper up. Damn it, God,
damn it. I mean it's sleeping like fifteen minutes. You
(25:56):
could what nervous. It's when I get nervous. I don't
control The market opens in ten, okay, nine, stop that
it's nine am, China times by here, bye bye. So alright,
(26:23):
so now we got this gut damn baby to deal with.
I wish we hadn't snapped both their necks. When you
say we, I think you know who you're talking about, right,
I mean, you snap their necks, and I got to watch.
It was a great ship. You're so much more nurturing
than I am. I'm much more of a So I'll
take the baby. I'm sure I can get top dollar.
And then alright, everyone, let's just take our seats for
(26:45):
a second here. Just remember to createle the neck. Um.
So we're all new parents, and that's like a really
important and powerful thing to be in a position of
being being a parent. And you know, before we get
into like actually we're gonna be doing the class, I
think it's important to well we all just go around,
say her name, say our child's name, and then talk
a little bit about maybe maybe some of the heart
(27:07):
stuff and some of the beautiful stuff that being apparent
has been for you all. So why don't we start
with um? Well, why don't we start with you two? Hi? Carla,
Jane and Um? My question right out of the shoot
is how do we know when someone's got a little
dump gown? Is it just a smell? Okay, so you
didn't hear what I said? Oh God, do you mind
(27:35):
if I do you mind if I take this? His
name is Carl, my name is Gene, and this is
our little baby. We call it a sport tiger. Uh,
a little guy, a little girl. Uh. Lots of hard stuff.
Big one is is it smells bad? And we wonder
if it's time to change it? Does that answer the questions?
(27:58):
I just want to say, first of all, I think
it's so it's so brave of the two of you
to be raising a child together. I really the black
form fitting outfits you're you're wearing. I would love it
if you took off those masks, though, look your face,
let's your faces. You might not like the outcome if
we have to take the black masks off. Let's just
(28:19):
leave that there. And also but in ski. Thanks, So
back to my question the dumper roof. Alright, guys, alright,
you fucking maggots. It's closed, markets closed. Let's see what
we did here? Can the taker paper? All right? I'm
(28:39):
looking at the reports here. Uh, you've done good. You've
done really good. Everybody for everyone, everyone really good. Johnson,
Get closer to him, Johnson, get closer to him. I
need to see what's on that paper. Just get closer
to Can we take off the dipe? Uh? Yep, take
(29:00):
got the dipe the dip to do it? What do
you mean underneath it's my privates totally exposed. Okay, there's
no privates here. Okay, everything's out in the open most
and if you sold more than three shares, you got
to share your three bears, all right, settle down board.
(29:21):
We weren't able China, China beat us to the punch
because they were on China time, China time, and we do.
We were able to sell broker Babies as a as
a cartoon to Nick Jr. Though, Yeah, we're getting into
(29:43):
intellectual property now and broker Babies. I think it's going
to be a breakout hit. Do we have any um
any leads on who might be voicing these babies? Oh?
Do you want to sounds like someone you want to
get into it. No, I was thinking maybe we can
get or something. Don't mean I don't know. He's wonderful.
(30:04):
He's wonderful. Yeah, I love his um you should just
well you look, I don't have enough chimpanzees, all right,
this guy, Damn Wall Street guys keep on buying him,
and I don't got enough. So I'm sorry. Your kid's
(30:25):
not gonna be able to have a chimpanzee this year.
That's just how it is. But but but it's it's
two days before christ Us. Hey, I know that, all right?
And look, if you want something, then maybe go up
to Wall Street tell him this job to promise my
boy a chimpanzee. Look, man, I don't know what the
fucking tell you. All right, I don't got any guy
damned chimpanzee's and you gotta stop coming by here. Okay,
(30:50):
we got one more. It's a he's broken as fuck,
most of most of his bones are shattered, but hey,
he's breathing. We got that outbreak at Chimpanzee, The outbreak
one what do you say. I'll take you anything, anything. Yeah,
you know what, Let's do it all right, let's do
it all right. Doesn't have to be a baby. No,
(31:11):
this seems old as hell. Alright, this is old chimpanzee. Alright,
space eater chimpanzee. Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, it's that
it's got the outbreak disease inside of it. Uh, I
mean old bunch of ship. Anyway, listen, don't let your
kid near it. Don't let your kid near it. Did
did they ever cure that virus from outbreak? I don't know. Look,
(31:34):
I like what I need you to know. What I
need you to know right now is that he's gonna
flake off some skin, alright, and I can't have your
kids eating that chimpanzee skin. Alright. Oh my kid is
very tactile. Whatever, man, watch my hands, I'm watching my alright.
Does does he do tricks? If you go dogg into
(31:57):
the board meeting? I figured this is maybe it's a
d organ The meeting would be, um, well, I've seen
people bring babies. I've seen people people buying up. Are
you going to nurse the dog on your nipple? Is
that what you're telling us? I'd like me see that
given Nancy can do it during the board meetings, so
(32:19):
I can't. I put a dog upon my nipple. I
don't mean to interrupt here, but more more puzzling than
the puppy on the lap is Stan. Are you drinking comber? Why? Yes,
I am. We have a development deal with Kimbucha. I
just got word. By the way, the pat Oswald has passed.
(32:41):
You don't say you don't say that is seen to
a hard passed and passed on. See three yet patron.
If you be Thomas Getsy who wrote Hello alchemist, James,
look away because this is for Kevin. I love what
(33:03):
you all did with my previous suggestion Burger, so I
thought that I would write in again with another one
word suggestion. This time Possum can't wait to hear it.
Stay safe, stay funny, Sincerely, Thomas from Virginia. PS. Just
listen to the most recent episode, James, it may be
a good idea to cut down to one and a
(33:24):
half jugs of coffee per day. At least he's got
the measurement correct. H. I don't think she's actually dead.
I think I think she's pretending to be dead. The
head is on the other side of the road. Your
what was that You hit the possum with your car
(33:46):
and you don't think it's Oh I I don't. I
think it's faking it, honestly, kids, let's all get back
in the car. And the head is on the other side.
The head is attached from the body. Well, it's don't
pick it up, don't touch it. I have to look
it's it's I think it's fair. You're gonna put it
(34:06):
back together. Father, I'll let me just see if it
pops on. Let's just see if it well, look, it's
pretty much connected. Dad. This isn't like one of your legos.
What do you mean? Of course, the spirit, the spirit
of the forest curses this what's happening? Can no one
(34:28):
hear me? You could no one hear me before I
was in the spirit of the force. I can hear
you can. If you can hear me, give me like
a give me a thumbs up, or sometimes we can here.
You are you being so timid? Oh my bad, I
was supposed to. I was just coming in as a
gust of window cursed uh, that guy for killing the possum.
(34:51):
But oh I didn't kill the possum. I'm I'm pretty
sure it's alive. I mean its head is over there.
Well look at this, Okay, you just popped it on.
You didn't have to lick the vertebrate to stick it
back in. It just moved. Look it's I'm putting it
(35:12):
back down. It's it's slow, sure, but it's moving. Dad.
Can you stop being a word out for one second
and let me ask the spirit of wind you've come
from the forest, good spirit. Well, I mean I'm actually
the spirit of the forest. I was just embodying window
to whisper. You're the You're the spirit of the forest.
There aren't several, it's just you all four. Yeah, and
(35:38):
how did you get this position? Uh? This is gonna
blow your mind. This is really gonna gonna But um
many many many many, many many many many years ago
before time with this, By the way, you know what
I'm done. You know what, honestly I do every time
(35:58):
I talked to a person about just to try to
bring in Hey, Bobby, I see you playing with your
ball over there. Huh, come on with here a second.
Talk to your uncle for a moment. Come here, Buck,
what's up? Bunk? Listen? You know um m, you know,
being a possum is the best thing in the world, right,
(36:19):
I mean, we get to play whenever we want, We
eat trash, we eat you know, whatever we want. It's
a good time. We only go out at night. Yeah,
that's right, that's right. You know, you know, every possum
comes to a point in their lives where they got
to be a big boy, big boy. Yeah, and I
think that time has come for you. You do, I do.
(36:42):
It's tonight, tonight. Listen. Chuck's dead. Your dad's dead. What's
happening your dad? Chuck? Yeah, he's dead. Okay, this is
a test of some kind, so not a test. Okay,
if you want to take a peek, it's a human
right now, trying to put his head back on his body.
(37:02):
Of course, the spirit of the forest is there, because
he's always got to be everyone. I want to take
a peek. Where where am I peeking? All right? Right
over there at the highway. Can you hear the trucks
going by, Yeng Hong? Where's his head? I think it's
on his body. I think that that human puffed it
(37:22):
back up. But listen once you see you can't Jesus man,
you showed him his dead dad's body. These behind you. Man,
just give me another beer, asshole. You know my therapist
you work at the in this fucking tree bar. Yeah,
I do. Man, Maybe you've had enough, all right? You know,
maybe maybe you're a son of a bitch. Did you
ever think about that that? Maybe did you ever think
(37:44):
that maybe your mom loved more than one? Man? What
the fuck is your deal? Man? Okay? Can I get
this shot? And nuts? Stilled up? Yeah? Hey? What's your name? Yeah? Pissy?
Oh that's pretty, that's really pretty. You like kissing, You're
like kissing, You're like kissing possum noses. I'm a worm,
(38:08):
I'm an earthworm. I could kind of slither and you
could kiss her. Iver you want? Both sides are good?
Who saw my brother died today? All right, everybody, let's
(38:28):
get back in the car and let's just this didn't happen.
It completely happened, Dad, and you tried to pop the
possum's head onto its ass, and nobody thought it was real.
The real thing that we don't think is real, asshole,
pretended to be the spirit of the forest. I mean,
I'm a legitally spirit of the port. I don't think
(38:49):
he is. That doesn't exist. We don't believe in that larchy.
I can tell you that he is legitimately the spirit
of the forest, but he is a little out of
his jurisdiction. I'm this period of the road, just rich.
I don't believe in these kinds of things. Excuse me,
we're gonna hit the road. Okay, ah, you're gonna hit me,
(39:13):
Mr Spirit, Mr Spirit, Will you guide us on our journey?
Already happened these strangers, so you you guided us into
my dad driving over the possible face. Remember that bathroom
break you asked for about two hours ago. Yeah, yeah,
that was me. Nice work. Yeah, and I was the
(39:35):
one who made that convenience store have mancho's. Yeah, any
more animals you paid to me? Okay, Sally and carl Um,
(39:56):
thank you for sharing what you did on your winter break. Whatever. Now,
I would like to encourage the other students who get
up to talk to tell a real story what actually
happened to them? Whoa over the holiday season? That pictures? Yeah,
there's no spirited yes, yes, oh h Charlie the whole
(40:20):
time he's got gifted a chimpan. Then I ate some
of its skin and you can't even talk. I got
so sick. I I got gifted a chimpanzee and then
I ate some of its skin and I got I
got sick. I guess you believe that more than what
(40:43):
we told you. Look, if you want to bring in
one of these spirits, spirit of the road, spirit of
the forest, you want to bring in passa, then then
maybe I'll believe it. Okay, but this is not make
believe time. This is what really happened time. Well, we
can't bring them in because it's a different spirit that
has a jurisdiction in the classroom. Is everything okay at home? No? No.
(41:04):
Our father is a freak. Our father is a total freak,
a zoid. Haven't you met him at the parent teacher meetings?
Do you want to be a broker? It looks like
your past work experience. You were teaching for a while. Yeah, yeah,
I taught uh and uh and I sold education, you know,
out of premium. So so why do you want to
(41:25):
become a broke I just thought I can make a
little more money. I thought maybe I could move and
shake you know, I, um, you know, the dividends on
the education we're paying out so high. I thought i'd
move the portfolio. I'm gonna cut the buzzwords off real quick,
and I'm gonna ask the real questions. Do you mind
pissing and shifting on yourself? What do you mind going
(41:51):
poop poo and peepe on your body? No? No, I
could do that. Yeah, you're gonna have to do that
because here we're selling and buying things on Wall Street.
Can open the store and pee can see what you got.
You got the cajonas. Check it out. Sign me up,
(42:19):
Sign me up? All right, send you on. I'm gonna
send you up for three months. How much? How much
you want to I want to work here forever, so yeah,
you want to sign you Let's get a membership going here?
All right? Stark, Star Wars and Star Trek. No, thank you? What,
(42:40):
I'm sorry? You gotta pick one Star Wars and Star Trek.
And there is a wrong answer that Star Star Wars
and Star Trek. Yes, yes, I'm in. There is a
wrong answer. Which one? Yeah, I'll take the right one.
Which one? Okay, Star Wars. You gotta pay b A
(43:04):
B A B up to up down, select start, let's
get going. There is a wrong answer. Um, sorry, principle. Um,
we we're just kind of curious. Because our teacher just
walked out of the classroom and we haven't had a
replacement for the week. So we kind of made an
agreement as a class that after the week we will
(43:24):
come in and tell you. So that's kind of what's
going on. So, uh, you've just been sitting there, no
no to be kind of like have formed like our
own society, you know what I mean? It kind of
we find it was like a fairal thing and now
we have like our own kind of self sustaining government
(43:46):
and economy. But um, I guess what's the problem. So
what's the problem? Just what my brother maybe come in
here and tell you. I guess, I guess I made
a mistake. I don't know. I'm sorry. Now, I don't cry.
Don't cry. I have to report this if you cry,
I know, but I can't help it. If an adult
ask me a question, I just started to cry. Okay,
(44:09):
look it's gonna be okay. We lose a lot of
teachers to Wall Streets every year. You know, you know
what Wall Street is? Right, You've seen broker Babies, a
favorite comics and podcast guests. Honey, honey, have you seen
the kids? Um, I mean they go to school right. Yeah,
(44:34):
I feel like it's been like a business week long
that I haven't seen them. There's been like eight days.
I think I need to bring him back to where
we found him. Maybe we should find the kids before
(44:55):
we deal with the spirit of the road. Well, they've
been gone since Monday. I think they might be avoiding
the spirit of the road. Would you come back home
if you had the spirit of the road waiting for you? Wow,
now that you put it like that, I guess that
philosophical look. Yes, cheto dust on his fingers. I say,
(45:16):
we slid his throat. Yes, that's not his throat. Dumb
dumb principle. Now, I went into some of your classrooms
doing it not as I did, and I found that
one classroom in particular, there was a lot of red flags.
(45:38):
It seems like the students have formed some kind of
primitive that their their national flag is just solid red,
so that's they're all waving it. Yet, well, some of
the kids in there, they seem to be mutilated in
the strung up. How much money are they make? Look,
(46:00):
you know it's their their own, you know, self perpetuating economy.
Like I don't ask too many questions, all right, open up.
You killed my brother, you son of a bitch. Uh,
it's hello, Hello, look down here. They're a little guy.
(46:22):
Don't you can hand away with your hand with my face?
Oh my god, no, I like you shouldn't be out here.
I'm breaking all the rules. I'm breaking all the rules.
You got on your mouth. Let me just actually, if
you're gonna be nasty, that you can get off my porch.
My brother was the only one that loved me. You
(46:44):
understand that. Oh my god, I understand that. Oh my god.
I'm so sorry. I didn't kill your brother. He was
playing plus um, so you fucking see that to me.
I know where your kids are, and I'm headed to
your kids right what now? Hey, honey, honey, Yeah, that
(47:08):
was awkward. Man, that was awkward. Listen, you're awkward. You
could have done something too. You just sat here and
looked at him. I'm not the spirit of the whole man, Jesus.
I guess I gotta should I follow after him? You
gotta get in your car for me to do any
good to you. Oh cool, I probably need to take
my car to follow that possible possibly only North American marsupio.
(47:31):
By the way, that's kind of cool. Well, that's that
is pretty cool. I got a lot of you know,
that's what makes you. That's our show for today. My
oh my, everybody, Let's give great thanks to each and
every damn one of these alchemists, starting with Caroline Cup Caroline,
(47:54):
is there any sort of project or online shenanigans you'd
like to point people towards. Wow, that's a really good question,
and it really home in a way that I wasn't expecting.
I'm not doing anything. You can find me on Instagram
at cotter Poop, but I have I deleted it from
my phone now, so I'm not going to be checking that. Okay.
(48:14):
Good heads up though, appreciate that very much and appreciate
you back in the fold even though. Yeah, and not
be holidays and happy hanukah m. Thank you. Yeah? Yeah,
you know you remember which night it is? Right? Yeah? Okay,
James Cenney, Hi, do you remember which night of hank
(48:37):
it is? It's the third night of Hanukkah. I just
wanted to say I was trying not to tear up,
but we just got a really short but sweet review
from Yoga Monster via Apple Podcasts in Canada, and it
says that this podcast makes life bearable during quarantine five
(49:00):
star review. It's not the third day of Hanakah. Let's
focus on the review. That's great, that's beautiful and appreciated. Yeah,
it was I I honestly I opened up and started
looking at the views, and it jarred me. I did
not expect to see another five star review. Uh, just
(49:21):
tearing at my heart strings. All right, well, set set
those expectations a little lower and you'll be fine. I
thank Chris Alvarado, thank you so much for getting off
the surfboard and coming back into our hearts. No problem, bra,
and listen, everyone knows five star reviews means it's the
fifth day of hanakah, saying there's another try and not
(49:42):
a correct answer. But okay, cool, Loving you, uh huh, well,
I love you. I love everyone who listens. And hey,
the anniversary Chris, Wait, how did you know that? I
read it in the calendar? Oh, very nice, thank you,
thank you. The anniversary of what No, no, no, of
course not all the all the important events are in
(50:03):
my calendar. So shout out to Alchemy that yes, the
podcast that talks about our podcast. Um, that's really fun,
kind of scary, but also fun and informative and informative.
Craig Kikowski, thank you so damn much. Is tonight the
(50:23):
seventh died of Hanako close? So I have a hard
time believing Craig didn't know the answer to that that
that is the correct answer, of course. Yeah, it's so close.
It's correct. Yeah, it's right on the money. Yeah, I
ripped my uh my sister's kids have been Jewish for
a couple of years now, and uh I really miss
(50:45):
uh not being able to go over for latcause, which
is a tradition that we've done for three years. Yeah.
Did the kids just decide on their own to become
Jews or pretty much? Awesome? Yeah, that's pretty great. You
don't see that happening anymore. No, they I don't think
they fully know what they're in for, at least not
in the last four years when it was a little
(51:06):
dangerous to Jewish descent. Yeah. Uh. Joey Grier one of
my favorite Jews from from the Old Country. That's it good.
I'm actually thinking about making lock this tonight. I got
some Russi potatoes. I'm gonna try to do do my thing.
I got some vegetable oil. Oh boy, I'm in deep
(51:26):
frill these mothers. Al right, well, can't wait to see
the video of that on your new Instagram account. Just
what again, garbage face? Who what is it? No, No,
it's it's not garbage face. It's God bless chim chump,
garbage face, God bless garbage. No garbage face. Oh, God's
blessed childie chim chim chim chum chump. Okay, God bless
(51:51):
chim chump. Got it. Show respect, garbage face. Let's thank
our engineering producer the Stars, Mr Doug B. Find folks
that I heart media and each and every damn one
of you for giving us a listen however you might
be doing that, write a review, or just write to
us at your name here me this dot com. Thanks
(52:12):
for all the fabulous patron supporters. More special content coming
your way. There might be a cast tank coming up
around the corner. We'll see James will send you a reminder.
Uh yeah, and be kind to each other and happy holidays.
Let those go together until next time.
Alchemy This News
Host
Kevin Pollak
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