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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This getting called
off the bench and finally getting in the big game
is me Cole Stratton holding things together well. Kevin Pollock
is off starring in Casino to Philip Green tries the
buffet at the luxur Let make hello to today's alchemists.
First up, a man who thought teen Wolf was a documentary,
(00:23):
Joey Greer, Joey, what monster scares you? First off? Proved
me wrong. It's not okay. I dare anyone too. And
what monster scares me? Uh? Probably? Um? I don't know.
I don't know nothing nothing Right now, I want to say,
(00:43):
if move on past pass, I guess uh, I guess
a uh, I guess uh you already passed. I guess
a char is hard high level Pokemon scares it all right? Sure? Sure,
dragon Fire, I was glad we waited for it. Next
she put the ram and the Rama Lama ding Dong
(01:05):
Vanessa Raglin v who put the bob in the bob
shoo shop? I don't know, but I'd love to meet them.
Next up, a man who looked a gift horse in
the mouth and does not give two funks about it.
Mark Eagley already. Yeah, that's right, Mark. When did you
become such a rebel? Uh? You know what it was
(01:25):
when I was given my first motorcycle at age four,
Me and that gift horse. He got a motorcycle too,
and we rode off into the sunset. Hell yeah, they Next,
(01:45):
she makes dental appointments just so she can catch up
on Highlights magazine, Caroline Cotter, Caroline, what's wrong on the
back cover this month? Um? It's just a kid walking
into a door. Simple issue. Finally, meet a guy who
once wrote a letter to Campbell's Soup praising their split pee.
(02:06):
Or maybe that was me, Brad Norman? What's up, Brad?
Did you ever write a company to praise or complain
about something? Yeah? Yeah, I I wrote to I've written
to Eminem, I've written to Ferrara Pan the candy company.
But mostly good, mostly good stuff, you know? Um? And uh,
I sent really hateful memes to Congressman all the time.
(02:31):
What's yeah? Nice? All right, Well, let's get to our
first scene. All of today's see suggestions were gathered from
our listeners emails. If you'd like to submit yours, please
write to the podcast at your name here at Alchemy.
This dot com. That's your name here at Alchemy this
dot com. Our first scene comes from Kia, who wrote
Kia Aura and Woot woot from New Zealand. New Zealand
(02:52):
love the show. Haven't missed an episode, so of course
that means I want to hear Vanessa's dulcet tones. Try
our accent as the team tours Hobbiton and try to
convince the guy they found a living moa because a
giant dino sized bird thought to be extinct for three
d years. Make sure they have a good feed of
traditional hangy while they're there, and try some Jandles on
for size and go from a Kylie type person gen
(03:17):
we have gene bulls. If anyone wants to say the Jandles,
it's just wrought that. Why were all that? How do
you gosh? Oh gosh, honey, they have genders pictures. Brice, Brice,
keep up, kids, don't have his snack claws out? They sorry?
Eating this luna bar? Does that count as a snack?
(03:40):
It does count as a snack? Thought it? Wait? These
are these are animals that are gonna they are gonna eat?
These are these like? Are these like animals? Like Tolkien animals, hereatronics. No, No, okay,
maybe they do, and she's not lying. There's no in
the tronics. This is not what's the rhet? You look? Oh,
(04:04):
I'm sorry, that's the I have a question. What is there? Please?
Cool to go to here? We talked about this, buddy.
I just want to know, what do you think it's cool?
I don't know what do I think it's cool? Thanks
for asking this, ro Okay, I'll stand on the rock.
(04:26):
There's a nice way to ask me to stand on
the rock. Nice to strangers, I'm nice to strangers, are
nice to me. Yes, I've been very nice. I'll tell
you what I think is cool. I'm getting WiFi service
is cool. Being able to check Drake's Instagram is cool.
Drake doesn't care about our family vacation, but you know
(04:48):
who does the people who are here with you, your
mother and father. Sorry, I thought you all asked me
a question and I was supposed to take a deep
He done? Yeah? I think he when he gets that
high pit wise us super lame already And I just
wanted to what did you What do you think was
gonna happen? You were going to meet a real hobbit here?
(05:10):
I don't know, Dad, I don't freaking me. To make
things more interesting, how about everybody get out their snack boss,
instead of putting them away. Everyone get out any food
you've got on your body. Okay, my lunar bars, I
just put away your tongue. The great hear tiny tinny.
We're gonna do it. You know what, when I'm back
(05:32):
home with all my cool friends and we feel like
we don't have anything, we usually sit down and have
freaking snacks. I'm not suggesting you have a snack. Everyone
gets your foot out, put it in your hands, snare it. Okay,
it's that yogurt talk coili? What was that? Wasn't it's
(05:58):
should getting what it's you know, it only feeds once
a year, and it's gonna eat a lot having fun. Honey,
what do you think they're talking about? I don't know.
It doesn't mean if it's making more, it's not los
to choosey. It is on us to cheating. I want
to see something else. Shots come on now, plays the
wild country. It's war, but plays that. Look, there's a ring.
(06:21):
There's a ring. Little bind us keep us to kid
of the rings. The one ring is what you're talking about.
This is part of the show. He's trying to get
me to merryam. I'm not going on Monday, I ask you,
Oh my god, oh my god. Something would you or
(06:45):
something him away? Oh no, I didn't, thank you? Would
I thought it would get the kid coyly? Does that
happen all the time? Okay? Did I just wait? It's
a giant bird grabbing a man and running off with
them like he's a loose hot dog. Did you think
that was cool? Did this bird made this make a
(07:05):
sound that was like the last half of jay Z's laugh?
Oh my okay, okay, you know what. I take everything
I said before. This is starting to get cool. I
wish we could get him one of these whole bit houses,
but they're not really just for sobs, so that means
we just stuck at here in the wilderness. I'm Gandalf
(07:29):
was tinny tiny tiny what Noah ship? Alright? Alright, I'm
just gonna hand out some knives. Oh god. Every time
something cool happens, some very rude side conversation starts. Can
we please get on with the coolness. I'm gonna get
into slider and I'm gonna jump off the cliff. Oh god,
(07:56):
they got they got tinny the blood, that's real blood.
All right, this show is amazing, really good. I love
the show within a show thing. No, no, no, no, right, Sean,
wrap your legs around my wife's I'm gonna jump in
this clider. I'm gonna swoop down. We're going to use
the ship. Doesn't need to wrap his arms around you phone.
(08:20):
You don't need to do that, Sean, We're not but
you can't ask him to do that. Kinto, I'm gonna
need to get them. No, but he doesn't need to
rep his legs around. Are you trying to get him
to wrap his legs around. It's not about that. It's
not about that. College not come back lead. This is incredible.
(08:47):
They just put that gand do I can put that
on my Instagram story. You've got some real problems? Do
you know that they have real problems? Yes? I have
real problems. Okay, no, no, no sarcastic, but no, you're
trying to make it real. What are your real problems?
My real problem is that my parents dragged me halfway
across the flat earth. Because it's based on something that
(09:11):
my parents read and what was it? Third grade? Fourth grade?
Third and fourth grade is the rings right? And that
because you read it when you were half my age,
I'm supposed to think it's cool. Now that's exactly right. Son.
We will ground you until you admit that because wish
you would ground me. I wish you would. This is
going to mad it when a memorea eat a mamoa?
(09:33):
Oh yes, I'm sorry, Like what happened with the gama? Lad? Lead?
Is that using a letter we don't know about in America?
Or I'm a I'm ah look at that? No? No, no,
(09:53):
where's lads going going? I mean going on the good thing.
You can do something. He's laying her own. We should
get out of him. I really should stip mate show.
We need to count. Wow, that is three in a row. Okay, yes,
(10:23):
half points because three people have died on this trip. Well, honey,
they haven't really died. To make a plan now, the
assumption is that they've dined. Honey. Listen, it's the part
of the show where we make a plan. You go,
you go on Coyly, it's coil. That's what he said.
There's north schar this is there's no shar. There's no shar.
(10:45):
This is I don't know what a shar is but
shar because it's it's a New Zealand thing. We've got
to go to the north Shore to get there. Oh,
I see what it is. It's not a bit. You're
the one that came up with that. We can go
to the north shore. No oh no, oh, you have him, Migraine.
(11:08):
It's y'all who running boards or something. You guys want
to catch up on this wave. We're with some. We're
with them, the Lord of the Rings storing. Yeah, we
just hiked through a living history museum of rude Kiwi
side conversations. Oh, this guy's go the yeah as you
as you read Lord of the Rings or no, we're
(11:29):
trying to get him to read them, trying to get
him to read period Instagram Hungry Mora, the Giant, the
legendary Bird. I don't believe in that stuff. I'm American
guys in on it too. This is amazing. It's like, yeah,
it's like one of those like LARPing things where the
whole the whole town country just bang already. Excuse me,
(11:52):
Bryce on the table do you want to do? You
want to wind up in a loincloth like seawn over here?
Maybe if it means I get to fly home. No offense, Sean,
I said something, you guys, did you swing or we do?
But um, when our son is here, it's kind of
in the back. God, I can't hear you. Brycewell, don't
(12:15):
bring up banging the loincloth. Man. Do you think it's
freaking stranger? He's not a stranger. Cast members have been eaten.
Is this for real? Yes, yes, sure it is. It's
for real. It's not real. Sorry. If we had animatronic technology,
that good the tour. Oh, I guess that's another New
(12:39):
Zealand thing to us, a local word it means showed up. Stupid. Yeah,
I'd like a veggim my diet. You got that you want?
Deluted deed? Hello? Hello, hey brides man, I was y God,
(13:01):
thank you so much for calling. I am dying. I
am freaking dye. Dude. Mine's worst than years. Man. I'm
just at a place where we got to see where C. S.
Lewis wrote about his Christian beliefs. There's no wardrobe, there's
no Narnia. My vacation suck. Yeah, yea, I know what
you're talking about. It's the one with the cat and
the hutch and the kids with the swords. And stuff
(13:21):
for something like that. That's the one, right, Yeah, I
guess C S stands for crappy sir, guy, honey, let's
do the screw tape letter's room? Do? Come on? Okay,
so you were saying about the yes, welcome to the home.
(13:43):
This is where C. S. Lewis wrote the screw tape letter. Yes, so, um,
you'll you'll see you over on the wall. Um, there's
a lot of reviews. Yes, exactly, so for C. S. Lewis,
that's how he wrote words. When do we get to
hear of the recordings to him? Fucking? What was that?
The screw takes? When do we get to hear a
(14:04):
screw tape that? I think you have a misunderstanding of
what the screw tapes that are all there? Not actually him? Yes,
recordings of C. S. Louis somewhere, the tapes of what thanks.
So we're gonna hear the C. S. Lowis somebody takes?
So this is rooted in Christianity that you have FaceTime, Brice,
check it out. Look at the lameness. Oh my god, dude,
(14:25):
I'm so sorry, so sorry for you. My life sucks
just as bad here. Look okay, sorry, we're gonna have
to work together. We're gonna have to make construction. We're
gonna have to make a weapon. We're gonna have to
make a big weapon, and we're gonna need They have
been talking about a bird they cannot catch for fifteen Bryce. Okay,
(14:45):
so this is what we'll do. We can use Bruce
is a bite? Well, I was great? Cool? Do you
like participating? Sureine, show the problem? Okay, there you go.
Check with this giant hooked to his back in the stomach? God,
oh God, are not up? I'm are you seeing this?
(15:17):
Are you seeing this? Man? They are putting me on
a hook and baiting me for a giant bird that
shouldn't exist. Does he not think having a hook in
his back to get baited into a giant bird is
remotely cool? And he's your son. Some intestines coming out
and he's still chanting. You know what? The funniest part
about this is they think that I think this is cool.
(15:39):
Will never get us, man, They'll never get us. How's
it going over by you? They're just showing me different
card stock. Turn turn your phone around. I want to
taste your suffering. Look here, sir, it just please back up. Please,
that's my husband, can you until I get to listen
to the screw tapes? And this is this is like
a heavy called stock. Maybe in modern times you print
(16:01):
a resume on if you're going for a job interviews. Yeah,
so I haven't just kind of touched the paper. Yeah yeah,
it's nice right, um okay. Now in the next room
was that it was this room just for the paper, yes, exactly, yes,
cad stock cod stock okay. And in the next room,
this is the room of wardrobes. So this is where boring.
(16:25):
What's going on with your FaceTime? Called to a bird?
He's up super high? Look it whoa? Oh my god, honey.
Are you having fun? Oh that's a good la. Are
you staying in the city or where you staying? Um, yeah,
we're staying in Zealand. You're staying in Zealand in Zealand
(16:50):
called Zealand Downtown is very nice. Oh yeah, we noticed
like a little bistro that's the first bistro in the country.
Is that true? Check it out the dishes it's coming dude.
Oh wow, oh there's that. Hey, look it's the moa.
It does it does sound like jay z okay, so
(17:13):
oh god, oh so I'm sure there's like an afterto
our place to meet him. Now what you didn't tell
the rope to anything? Oh my god, dude, are you
seeing this? I'm being taken away by a giant bird. Fault, dude,
You're getting dropped into it like a nest thing. Okay,
before I hit the nest, someone put on this chap
the snapchat filter. Do I look like a bunny? Yeah? Bunny,
(17:38):
bro just a bunny in a net with a bird.
That okay, you know what. I'm actually having fun? Now
what's going on by you? Oh? They just showed us
the silver chair, but it's actually just a bean bag.
And and this actually looks like a chair, but touch it.
(17:59):
So the steel chair is just a whole bunch of
beans exactly. Yes. And now the next room we have,
it's just full of the next room. Yes, are you confused? No? No, okay,
Now this next room we have is full of adult
male lions. Just got cool, okay. And that's hobbits in
(18:29):
That's just that's just how those authors intended it. If
you're going to be respectful. Seen two is from Tyler,
who wrote, Hey guys, I love the show and listen
every week in Yadi Kata yatta. Anyway, I recently read
(18:52):
a news article that talked about how Pablo Escobar has
abandoned hippopotamus is are breeding and multiplying and it's causing
ecological assists in Colombia. My scene suggestion is the Colombian
government coming up with the plan to control the hippo
population of Colombia and implementing that plan. I don't care
what happens next. You're all clever, awesome people, so please
(19:12):
keep it up, sincerely, Tyler m Okay, look, I don't
care what what anyone says. This is the most important
pressing thing on the docket. Yeah, of course. Okay, we
gotta figure out what we're gonna do about this. These
the hip hippos. I think hippo, Hi, hippo, hibbo, yes, hippo. No, no, no, no, hippo.
(19:39):
I think we should shoot them. I'm down. I think
strangle them, shoot him, tie him up, and burn them up.
Whatever the humane alternatives. Like, we can lure them away
with a bunch of marbles, yeah, exactly, follow them out,
Oh my god. And then we got to import marbles
and then guess what, now we're under big marbles thumb.
I know we know, no more, oh more of that.
(20:00):
I just think we need to be humane here. Guys.
You know, hippopotamia are incredibly They're intelligent, but they're also
super territorial. I'm with Chris. I think that. I mean
this is Chris Well. I mean romantically. Yes, we're together,
get over it. Yeah we're not. We don't have a
problem with Chris, I said, I said romantically, and you
said we worked together. No, No, we're together. We worked
(20:22):
together to I just wanted to make sure we were
on the same pag. It's not about a relationship. I
got a problem with it. I have a problem with you.
Come in doors open. I'm the hippopotamus expert on here. Great,
thank you. How do you say it? I'm sorry, how
do how do you say the hippopotamus? God? How the
fund do you say? It's hippopotamus? So it is? No,
(20:45):
you say it like it's spelled. I don't know. Did
you ever hear of a hippopotamus before? No? I mean Columbia,
I live in I was born and racid. This is
not an indigenous animal. I don't know what it's not about.
Calming down? But why are they why do they get
to have a relationship. What excuse me, I'm sorry, Am
I in the right room? Come on, there's some water.
(21:06):
So it's the hippopotamus. Is there is there a humane
way to sorry about it today? Yeah, that's a very
good questions the back of the head. There's a good question.
Um there there is, um there is some hippopotamus expert. Huh. Yeah,
how did you get how did you get that? How
did you get that? Get everybody? How did you get that? Well?
(21:32):
How do you say? Right? Shut up? I well, anyway,
my name is a doctor shove job, of course, and
I'm actually shoved job. Yeah, I haven't. I haven't. I
haven't an associate's degree in arts management, a bachelor's degree
in large mammal study, and a doctorate um in hippopotamus.
That is crazy. Yeah, what did you what did you
(21:59):
get your doctor that my doctorate got? There was no
masters You don't need a master's for some things you
don't know, not really, I got my doctorate in in oncology. Really, yeah,
you're you're a doctor of oncology. I don't practice, but
I am. Yeah, he worked on my sister. I'm surprised
you can't find a relationship. So you can't wait. I'm
(22:24):
still hung about Dan can't say hippopotamus, but a doctor
of oncology. It's impossible to say. It's one of It's
a hard word, right, What is doctor che john hip? Yes, yes, ma'am.
What's a hard word oncology or hippopotamus? I would say
pschology hip. I mean, if it helps at all. The
(22:45):
ancient Mayans used to call him water pigs. Oh, what
the fuck? The ancient is that what you're doing now? Huh,
Danny was helping you. You can call it water pig
because you can say water and you can say pig.
I've heard you say both. Say it's like at this point,
it's like you're trying. You said the thing last week,
I believe, and you called me water last week, so
we know you can say both. I'm not going to
(23:06):
call it a water pig. I'm going to call it
a hippolobo. I'm gonna call it just just that's fine.
Just know that when we say start rubbing each other's
thighs and we worked together, yeah, we're aware of both.
It's pissing everybody off. So so the hippos are actually
doing a lot of damage to the greater environmental system.
(23:27):
We'll try to light them up again. We're looking for
a humane way to deal with that. Okay, well, yeah,
not what. I haven't picked a lane on what we
should do shoot them. Well, I mean, if you'd like,
if you'd like some expert advice. I have been doing
a field study with the hippos in Colombia for the
last six months, out there watching them multiply and destroy
farmland and havoc. Well, that's what I'm here to talk
(23:53):
to you, Okay, to spit it out to it. So
the biggest thing we have to expert is a chatty one,
am I yes, Dr chef Job, just tell us what
it is. Can you give us a second? Can you
just give us a second? First hour? Of course? What
the fuck? What the fun? I looked him up on
the Yellow Pages and he's the first one that came up.
We got we all got to agree on this. We
(24:14):
all have to agree that there can't be any workplace relationships. Okay,
that's what that huddle that it's a sidebar? Are you
kidding me? And no, I'm the head of HR. We
said it's fine because if people are we came forward early. Yeah,
and I said if you're happy and you know what exactly.
We're polite. We announced when we're gonna take a fun break.
(24:35):
We always announced it exactly. But we don't even know
that okay because some people it just kissed me. It's
like we should all be in a relationship. No, that
doesn't make sense. I would have agreed with Danny, but
things didn't work out. Yeah, things didn't work out. Wait, No,
I want to keep the huddle going. Dan, you had
a chance to have a relationship at work. Do you
(24:55):
want to talk about it? Yeah, okay, go for hi.
I don't think that it's anyone here is worth having
a relationship with everyone. Well, I was worth four dates.
I was worth four dates. I just want to say that.
And you paid for all of the stuff we did. Yeah,
I did pay for all the stuff we did, Dan,
And it seems like really a really good deal. You
think so, But it's also like where do I where's
(25:17):
where's my what's my position? You know what I mean?
What do you mean? What's your position? For not money?
Every time I did not want to pay, he did
not bring money, He did not bring a wallet, Are
you kidding? On all four days, on all four days,
and yet I don't get asked on a fifth date.
I spent fifteen hundred dollars on your jan not enough, honestly,
(25:41):
use an appy. I just gotta say things have been
a little weird since Dad left, you know what I mean,
Like just out here in the mud, nobody wants to
pet us. Yeah, it's it's it's like I can't get
(26:03):
my body temperature right, I know, man, it's like we're
not even indigenous. It's pain. It's not pain, it's it's
like hard, it's discomfort. Yeah, yeah, it's longing dad. It's
Dad coming back. No, Tito, Dad's not coming back. When
Sid coming back? Dad, Dad's not coming back because I'm
(26:26):
going to go wait for Dad. The Federal we have
to be real careful about meeting with sisters. Yeah, well look,
I mean it's there's not we're not native. Well I
just think let's just do how about this, listen to
a soft rule. Okay, so like shut you just get
on my sisters, and I'll just get on your sisters.
(26:49):
In that way. We'll keep keep that, we'll keep that
from happening. Made my air's wet, gold ore weigling really good.
Right now, Look at hey can we go al, I'm
look out on weg all due d Now that guy's
dad's not here, I smell. I can go under the water,
(27:10):
and that I can go to the top all the
water at well. I can run fast also on land
when your uncle is your brother, Clapper switter minute, Hey, dufe,
you can run fast on land. I can run fast
on land. I timed it. You haven't. We've been trying
(27:30):
to keep below profile. Man, have you been rampaging? I
go through town and I say streaking, streaking, streaking. Well,
he's a natural sprinter. He can't. He can't. Your uncle
is your lover, Clap your free Okay, panty pantsy, just stop.
That's that's that's enough. I just I just worry about
(27:51):
this family staying together now that dad's gone into prison. Look,
the family is two together objectively, right, Well, no, I
just think we need That's what I'm saying about rules,
all right, Strong fences make good neighbors. Hey, brother, um,
I just heard you guys talking over here, jumping the
(28:12):
mud with us. Come on, okay, two brother um, brother ted,
I'm gonna go take a nap. If you there's a
big surprise. Well, we just established a rule twiler. It's
it's it's it's him on my sister's and me on
his sisters. Wait, we're all just trying to take a break. No,
(28:35):
I was just saying I was going to take a nap.
And also I'm horny, right sure, Hey, hey was doctor
to shove jobs sitting over there looking at us to
ignore him like I've kind of walked by him a
couple of times. I kind of did. I kind of
looked at him in the eyes to see what was
going on, and he just seems like a real dumb
(28:55):
piece of ship. Doctor. I don't care how long you
spend research in these animals. Your your papers make no sense.
You're telling me that the sisters and brothers some kind
of rum. I'm saying that after three to four months.
It took after about three to four months of daily observation, um,
(29:18):
I noticed that there was a bit more of a
complex social structure than we may have thought before. So
how should we kill them? How does it help us
know how to kill that? Still aren't this jury is
still out on us killing them. Sorry, back from our break.
It was a good break break for me. You went,
I went on a break, okay, So okay, well, I'm
(29:40):
sure we're talking about a break. We were just on.
I understand that I didn't know that. What's wrong with you?
I'm dumb? Yeah, I have a question, doctor the doctor.
I'd love to know doctor Chuck. You're a doctor. I
don't know her at all. You're a doctor. You can
answer it. You could get to know me. Well paid
(30:02):
for one dinner, I'd be a pretty good day. I
lost my wallet four times, Dan, I didn't know what
pants they were in. You're always just scrub pants. Well,
it's the same pair, but I have about thousands of
these pants in my house. You have thousands of the
same pair of pants. Yes, I'm an investor. Guys, I
don't want to alarm me. As looking out the window,
(30:24):
the water pigs are moving up on the building. This
has to okay, Okay, we gotta kill this him. Okay,
wait should we do? Should we strangle them? And trying
to tell you this for seventeen hours? You don't have
to kill them at all, thank you. They're climbing up
the side of the building. Problem with hippos is why
(30:46):
they're being so bold is body positivity. I mean, we
used to shame these animals and shame them into the
creeks and streams and pretty hungry hippos. Do you remember that?
If anything, it's acceptance of their body posts, which is,
if we lost this streak, if we just yell out
the window nice things about their bodies, they'll go away
on their own, sir. The antithesis of that. But if
(31:08):
we all mean things about their body, shame them in
ways they don't expect the shove job, this seems like
a pile of Listen to a hippo is a complex empathetic.
In climbing, I can climb. Do you know what? I'm
(31:30):
gonna die looking good? But let's cannot stop me. Oh oh,
that is wow. That that the rest are dead, but
that one is still climbing a dominable spirit. I've got
at his wriggling ears, always so cute. Can we please
(31:51):
say nice things, council people, if you allow me. You there, hippo,
you might want to not eat so many snack food,
They say, hippo, hippo, hippo, hippo. I might not want
the food. It's not I'm just saying, if if you,
if you want to meet a nice girl someday or
a nice boy, want to change yourself physically in some way,
(32:15):
doctor show. I don't think you can say that it'll work.
Trust just shoot it in the head. That's me so
many just shoot it. I'm I'm forced to use extreme measures. Hippo.
Do you see me? I see you, I see you
for who you really? Old hippo, googo Rex, Relax, relax.
(32:42):
This hippo has been nothing but kind to you. I
have come on, come on, this is science. You impression
on my brother and it was Spot's actually enjoying. This
is what I was afraid of. You waited too long.
The hippos are too in bred. They have no sense
of self. Look, we just want to kill them. We
(33:03):
don't want to hurt their feeling. Joinning like that. Now,
let's dousted and gasoline light on fire. That's a good
idea Ide and I agree on something. Okay, great, Now,
let's all just think for a second and decide who
we want to be in a relationship with. Dan. What
what the hell? Wait? Did you just pick Dan? No?
I mean I thought we were all doing it. I'll
pick Dan. You're in a relationship with out there now,
(33:28):
I get doctor shove. He seems not he knows a
lot about hippo's. Yeah, actually, after meeting you all, I'm
thinking about going into the church again. Again. You didn't
list that when you listed your credentials. I'm a former priest.
That was my master's degree. That's over. Master did not
get drafted or well, let's just say no, that sucks. Hey, guys,
(33:53):
they're still a hippo climbing the building outside. I'll look
at that top, all right. Uh man, I don't get
any guess, but what I do have, I got a
heart of gold and I'm gonna tackle that himmo, and
I'm gonna jump off of this me. You're going to
have to because he's too done to be self aware.
And you're also in a relationship with him now. And you, well,
you chose the hippo very easily over me after I
(34:13):
said I wanted to be in the relationship with you.
So I won't feel bad, don't feel bad. I'm just
saying I'll take the know I'll get I get it.
This is for you because I don't think we connected enough,
and I'm sorry. And this is also for you because
I think that I think I slipped through your fingers.
(34:34):
Everything I would have I would have kept it up
for a while. I don't know why guys Dufe is
at the window here. I go, oh, he just jumped
on back. I'm okay, and they what are they doing it?
You're taking a break. That's hippo guy, It's good. Yeah,
(35:02):
that's where we thought it would go. I imagine a
statue in the city square at the end of you know,
a hundred years later and you know, like is sort
of like ending like the Grand Budapest Hotel, like, oh,
it's just a stole spoiler. I was gonna watch bud tonight.
(35:23):
I ruined it for you. Dan is in it. And
our last scene today is from Audrey, who wrote, Hey, alchemists,
love the show, especially now that it comes out twice
a week. Quick proposal, hear me out three times a week.
Don't answer you yet, think it over. Listen to the
(35:44):
last episode. Here's my suggestion. Can we here some unaired
appraisals from Antiques Road Show? Thanks so much. I hope
to hear what you do with this, but if not,
I'll keep listening and I'll only hold a tiny grudge. Audrey,
this is this is very pretty. But if you brought
to me here today, um, this is my grandmother's inherited
(36:07):
baby shoes. So she got these um from her grandmother.
Are you telling him where I got him? Yes, I'm
telling you your baby shoes, Grandma. My baby shoes fit
my baby feet. Yeah, so that's kind of what that's
what we know about it, and that's what baby shoes
her baby feet. Yeah. But but she got some from
(36:28):
her from her grandmother, who was from um France the country. Yeah,
I know, Francis, it's like kind of in Europe. I
know what I know what end to Francis. I didn't
fit me when I was bigger. Well, the baby shoes
that I think that might be what makes them variable. Oh,
that is not what makes them value. But I'd like
(36:49):
to draw your attention to this on the bottoms that
you see that little the initials on the bottoms there
and the date seventeen eighty three. You see that seen three? Oh,
I guess for some reason I thought that was a
shoe size. Oh no, no, no three or the years
they came from her grandmother, who came from her grandmother,
who came from her grandmother. The shoes for actually going
(37:10):
to see w A M written Donna. I thought that
was a band name. No, that well, that's w h
A M w A M is that is van Mozart.
These are Mozart baby shoes. They're right, I know, Oh
my god, that you have Mozart's baby shoes. I wonder
if they fitted his feet when he was a baby,
(37:32):
and then they fitted another baby's feet, and on dandelion,
then they fitted another baby. Are you a descendant of Mozart?
I don't know what that is. It's a very famous
composer from the late nineteenth century eighteenth century classical music. Grandma,
do you want to think of twink a little stock? Now?
(37:52):
You don't. You're not familar to think of drink a
little stock? Granma? He did write it. That's not how
much they weren't, kid, Yeah, seven hundred million dollars are
very rich. Now, that's just one of our success stories
from here in uh South Boston City. And fun fact,
not a lot of people know this, but Wolfgang Amadeus
(38:15):
Mozart died in a popper's grave riddled with venarial disease.
Let's see fact it is. It's a super fun fact.
Let's move on into some more collectibles. What's happening over
in the West Wing. Well, I thought I didn't know
what it was, that those are rocket first, but then
when I brought it inside, the rock outs soft, and um,
well it looks like ship and daste like ship. It
(38:37):
smells like it. But if you dig inside and you
pull out, it's this ring. And if you get it
next to a fire lights up and uh and if
you put it on you go into indivisible and uh
so how much is it worth? Can I eat it? Well?
First of all, thank you so much for bringing this in.
We have wanted to see one of these in a
(38:59):
long time. And when something like this comes in oftentimes
collectors and the light like to say thanks for the sediment.
I'll keep going. Um. What what we have here is
some standard uh six ounces of fluid Middle Earth. Um.
And within the Middle Earth, it seems you found the
(39:19):
one ring to rule them all. Tell me, when you
hold the ring up to a heat source, do you
see any Elvish? I mean to when I gets by
fire lots up? Sure? Sure, sure, So this ring was
probably brought over here by immigrants escaping the Great Kashmir
wars Um around b C. And it was last owned
(39:41):
by Elvish Pressley. Um. And what you have there is
something Elvish Pressley saying, well, not exactly. You know, he's
a he was a fantasy character that also sang um.
But what what you have here is in wit alone.
The gold ring is worth at least i'd say three
(40:03):
hundred galleons, which is a pirate currency translated to I
would say, you're sitting in you want to ensure it
for at least forty k I don't have that kind
of money. I can't put for Well, if you sold
the ring, you could ensure it. And how much is
it worth? Oh, it's worth at least forty five dollars. Yeah.
(40:25):
You want to be careful with it, though, because the
more you wear it and the more your skin will
turn green and you will become a slave to the
hunger of the piece of jewelry. So I can't eat it.
Uh No, you should not eat it, No, not at all,
because nothing can destroy it except the burning heart of
Mount Doom. I understand. Well, I'm a man, and I
don't believe I'm corruptible, so I'll just keep it on
(40:47):
my person until then. Sounds good. All right, thank you.
Is there a rushroom round here, Yes, there is, there's
a one need no need. Wow, that is another exciting
entry into today and South Boston City. We're going to
live to our remote outside to see some textiles. Okay, great, okay, wonderful.
(41:08):
Now this is a beautiful rock. It's a beautiful rug. Yeah.
And you'll notice the embroidery up top. You'll notice that, Okay,
that right there, that's a Nazi symbol. Okay, and then
all through right here, this is all just Nazi like
symbolism right through here. Okay, I'm sure it was. And
if you look in the dead center right here, you're
(41:29):
gonna see a face that's at all Hitler. Okay, that's
clearly at a film. Now you said your grandmother had this, No,
I mean I don't want them to film this story
once we turned the camera and we can't shut it off. Pleas,
I didn't know. I didn't know that was this is
in your family? Yeah, no, yes, okay, wow, okay, this
(41:52):
is great. I mean, this is and you can tell
this is high up in the third Reich. You would
get something like this only if you're in the top
echelon top rock school teacher. And I did not. I
thought this was just a beautiful lad I had noticed.
I mean now that I see it, I see the
shapes are jumping out of me. But I had no idea.
Yeah yeah, so I mean that's clearly a swastika. Yeah, okay, okay,
(42:13):
And there's just there's just graphic hate speech throughout. This
is oh yoh totally. But I mean the piece itself,
what what history? Yeah, so a retail on the black
market or if you want to go into like some
far righte uh forums and whatnot, that could fetch you
somewhere between hundred two thousand dollars. Great, thank you, you're welcome. Wow.
(42:37):
That was surprisingly sad and emotional. Moving right on along,
we have another remote here in one of the local museums,
claiming that they have Hitler's Last breath. It's it's it's
in a ball here. I've called it. I found it,
found it at flea market. Don't take it, diddy, so
I'll call it. I bolted up and I brought here
(42:57):
to the museum. So it was what, so you found
it when you were in Piccadilly and then in England? Um? Great? Um?
So you were saying you found it loose and you
bottled it up. I was walking around I felt like
this hate just wash over me instid like I always
carry a little bottles of me. I noticed that around
(43:18):
your call me a little bittle, guys, a little bit
and I'll put put it in there. And I was like,
I've got to get to State side. I see what
this is. Wolf. Well, this took the last minute flight,
so it was like to get here. So I'm hoping
the less breath of the worst person ever something. Sure, Wow,
(43:39):
what a story, um, So thank you so much for
bringing this here. Um. Today, we had our experts take
a look at this, and they love this kind of stuff,
so for us this was really fun. Um. Now, according
to our experts who went to Harvard went to yah, Um,
they took a look at the breath and if you'll
(44:02):
see the bottom of the breath in the bottom of
the bottle, it has that kind of like Tiffany stamp
on it. Um. So that is how you know it
is an authentic Hitler's breath. So the claim you made
is that it's his last last one. Yeah, I'm pretty
sure it was because he's dead. He's dead, he's not
here anymore. So I thought it's probably not likely that
there's several Hitler's breaths wondering what it's probably the last one,
(44:23):
so yeah, so exactly. It's funny you say that actually
because this is one of the most um commonly um
counterfeited things in the art industry. UM, but yours is real. Um.
So we had our experts look at it, and you
brought this to auction today. Um, it would fetch anywhere
(44:45):
from three to four UM dollars, just free to four blocks.
It's always yeah, so I'm already negative, like fifty five
seven dollars. Yes, the dollars if I can interject ahead,
the dollars are for the jar. Yeah. We noticed that
(45:07):
is a Tiffany original jar. So not in a great condition,
but a great Yeah. Because mobile guy, we established that
it's my thing. I've got severed all the bottles. May
you should look at the bottle. You can look at
another bottle. This one's This one's long and skinny, a lot,
this one because it's probably worth that's good. Let me,
I'm gonna wrote these down. This one's shot on fat.
(45:27):
It's a lot. It's like the abbot to the castello.
The other just you know, recycled value ten cents. It's
a pickle jar. It's a pickle jar and this is fine.
Actually we're doing kind of like a live appraisal here
because we do have an expert, a bottle and a
breath expert, Miranda. And what would I call you? I
don't know, Joan. Yes, yes, I would love it if
(45:48):
you call me Joan. Well, Joan, you're also a bottle
and breath expert. And Miranda and you're a TV star,
stop and a star. I'm just a beautiful woman. This one.
This one's Mason Jaw. It's got a top, claps down,
roll good under. Genie in side? Oh no, this it
looks like there is a genie inside. Based off of
the genie saying there's a genie in side, yeah, I
(46:09):
would say that could go for up to do. Wow,
that really was exciting. And antique bottles, were you any
were anyone at home fooled by Hitler's Last breath? Because
if you were, you should go to the bathroom. Now
look at the mirror and say, wow, you're dumb. But
what's going on in antique toys? Oh? Yes, hello, I'm
(46:32):
calling in. I was at home. I'm watching the live
stream here. Okay, go right ahead, you're live on PPS.
For some reason, you just said if anyone was fooled.
I was ruled yes, if you were fooled by the breath,
but you should hold on. I'm going to transfer you
to our donations line because we're gonna want to sign
you up for a brand new package where you're gonna
get a free tote decalf coffee Crystal. Say so much
(46:54):
for calling. Yeah, I'm getting another call and call. You're
live on PBS. For some reason, was fooled as well. Yes,
sir and my lover we're watching from our mud pin
and I was fooled, so I thought I would call
it on a phone, which my lover has. He has
a phone, and I called from it. Thank you so
much for pizza. Thanks for calling a pizza. What's it worth? Wow,
(47:20):
it's been really great getting all this feedback. Yes, Hello,
you call your caller. You're on the air on PBS
for that, because that's what it is. Now, Um, I'm
calling for the three for five dollars the wrong number.
This is PBS. We don't eat anything with salt in it.
Thanks for calling all. Wow. I am going to turn
(47:41):
my phone off after this for sure. This is getting
a little embarrassing. Hi, you're on the air with PBS
that broadcasting. Hey that hippo that just called in ordering
a pizza with boyfriend? How much is that hippo worth? Okay, sir,
I'm gonna transfer you to auctions here, and I'm gonna
keep hosting anti scroad show I was watching to begin with.
(48:02):
While we cannot use can we use any of this?
We can't. And also there's no auction you can't transfer
some of the auctions. I just I'm literally just making
this up as I go along. Yeah, okay, your toy here,
this looks pretty good. Um oh yeah, uh, I'm sorry. Uh,
this is really stupid. This is a dumb toy. Wait,
you don't like that toy? Alright? Alright, alright, how about
(48:23):
this toy? They're all dumb? All right? How about this toy? Dumb?
Just like my fucking family. This is uh yeah, you
gotta I don't know. Yeah what what was? Who has
used this before? Does this looks used? It's like my
fucking wife? Um yeah, that's that was That toy was
used by a lady that I met last week. Yeah, Joe,
answer name, real nice lady, real nice lady cars or
(48:47):
something like that. Yeah. Well, we started off just playing cars,
but then we actually, you know, we found a real
connection to one another. You know at Joe and Boy,
what a lady are you married? Well, Joe and and
I are gonna be married soon soon as she jump, sir,
and I quote jerk husband. Yeah, yeah, I get that
good lucking relationship, my man. Hey, thanks, good looking. What
(49:09):
isn't your wife's name? Joanne? Yeah? Yeah, I guess Why
do the math man do the math? It's me that
voice in your head that tells you stuff when you
need to figure stuff out. Briggle? It's me Briggle. Yeah,
I wish you wouldn't have named me Brickle. I choose
that anyway. It seems like that guy is kind of
(49:30):
trying to hint that he's, you know, with you know, no,
you keep leaving those words out. He's having an affair
with your wife. How do you know that? Briggo? But wait,
did you just call me a different name? Briggle? Thank you?
Briggle is the person who lives inside my head and
tells me truth. Okay, sir, I have a question for you,
(49:52):
Joe Anne. Would you know her last name? But yeah,
I mean Acalytis. But we were las. Wow, weird, that's
my name? You know a lot of other Greek jo
Anne's do you huh, No, you don't. That's my that's
my wife. I just keep my wife. You're you went
on you played You played with toys with my wife.
(50:13):
You play toys with my wife. I'm just trying to
get these are praised. I got an praise before you.
She didn't have a ring on you up your ass.
Don't write it on my toys. All right, So that's
why at the bottom of the screen, now that like
it's a price. Yeah, that's exactly how. We're just gonna
drop off this antique knife box full of knife to
be a praise. Next. Oh yeah, well oh look at this.
(50:37):
Oh this is a nice smooth steal. Would happened if
I cut my own wrists? No? No, no, not your
own risk? Mr acolitisc Yeah it's me. What do you?
What do you do have revenge? You don't cut your
own wrists? You're an acolytis. Here tick the knife and
you cut me right, not your wife. Let me all that,
(51:01):
Let me bow that breath, Let me bottle that's worried
about two dollars. That's our show for today. Let's say goodbye, alchemist,
plug your stuff. Caroline um I'm looking for someone to
(51:24):
help me, um register my car at the DMB. Okay,
we'll give him your your handle or something to that
and a half. So if you if you know how
to do that, reach me on Instagram at Cotter Poop.
Definitely help out. Caroline there, Vanessa Raglan Um, come hang
out at Dynasty Typewriter anytime you like and enjoy the popcorn.
(51:45):
Follow us fantastic, stay for the great shows. Yeah, but
the popcorn. So yeah, everything's really good. Brad Norman, I'm
you can hear me do Bowlwinkle or voice bowl Winkle
rather not do brand. You just ruined your brand. I've
(52:06):
voiced Bollwinkle on the Adventures of Rocky and Bollwinkle on
Amazon Prime. It's a hot little upstart company. Um, a
lot of people have heard about yet, so you know,
support local business and subscribe to Amazon. I'm on Twitter
and Facebook and Instagram. My Instagram is the most fun.
It's at b d Norms Smart every Wednesday at final
(52:29):
Wednesday of the month. I'm a Dynasty Typewriter workt use Wednesdays,
eating delicious popcorn and doing an improv show. And also
all summer long, Blood and Treasure Tuesday's at ten on CBS.
Nice Joey grab At Jevy Grieber on the Gram. Hit
me up what means that was? Sounded like an undercover cop.
(52:50):
I'm not a cop. I'm not a cop. Yeah, you
have to tell us I'm not a cop. I believe
I'm uh and the Bear Supply every second and fourth Wednesday,
nine o'clock at West Comedy Theater and Pretty Pretty Pony
every first first Thursday at ten o'clock at West I
(53:14):
com That's right, check that out. I'm at Cole Stratton
on Twitter at Stratton Cole on Instagram because you know
the other one's take. I gu those jerks also h
the same night as Bear Supply the second fourth Wednesday
of the month at eight The West Side Sketch Codes,
a sketch comedy group that I direct there at the
theater as well. They're super fun and cool. Thanks everybody
(53:36):
for listening. Let's thank our engineer Doug Bain and our
post sound design artist Raphael Brito, our producer Sophie Lichterman,
and lastly, I heart Media. I do heart media. I
encourage all of you to write a review, tell everyone
you've ever met about the podcast. And right to us
(53:56):
at your name here at alchemy this dot com. That's
your name year at alchemy this dot com. Until next time,
Alchemy
Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This getting called
off the bench and finally getting in the big game
is me Cole Stratton holding things together well. Kevin Pollock
is off starring in Casino to Philip Green tries the
buffet at the luxur Let make hello to today's alchemists.
First up, a man who thought teen Wolf was a documentary,
(00:23):
Joey Greer, Joey, what monster scares you? First off? Proved
me wrong. It's not okay. I dare anyone too. And
what monster scares me? Uh? Probably? Um? I don't know.
I don't know nothing nothing Right now, I want to say,
(00:43):
if move on past pass, I guess uh, I guess
a uh, I guess uh you already passed. I guess
a char is hard high level Pokemon scares it all right? Sure? Sure,
dragon Fire, I was glad we waited for it. Next
she put the ram and the Rama Lama ding Dong
(01:05):
Vanessa Raglin v who put the bob in the bob
shoo shop? I don't know, but I'd love to meet them.
Next up, a man who looked a gift horse in
the mouth and does not give two funks about it.
Mark Eagley already. Yeah, that's right, Mark. When did you
become such a rebel? Uh? You know what it was
(01:25):
when I was given my first motorcycle at age four,
Me and that gift horse. He got a motorcycle too,
and we rode off into the sunset. Hell yeah, they Next,
(01:45):
she makes dental appointments just so she can catch up
on Highlights magazine, Caroline Cotter, Caroline, what's wrong on the
back cover this month? Um? It's just a kid walking
into a door. Simple issue. Finally, meet a guy who
once wrote a letter to Campbell's Soup praising their split pee.
(02:06):
Or maybe that was me, Brad Norman? What's up, Brad?
Did you ever write a company to praise or complain
about something? Yeah? Yeah, I I wrote to I've written
to Eminem, I've written to Ferrara Pan the candy company.
But mostly good, mostly good stuff, you know? Um? And uh,
I sent really hateful memes to Congressman all the time.
(02:31):
What's yeah? Nice? All right, Well, let's get to our
first scene. All of today's see suggestions were gathered from
our listeners emails. If you'd like to submit yours, please
write to the podcast at your name here at Alchemy.
This dot com. That's your name here at Alchemy this
dot com. Our first scene comes from Kia, who wrote
Kia Aura and Woot woot from New Zealand. New Zealand
(02:52):
love the show. Haven't missed an episode, so of course
that means I want to hear Vanessa's dulcet tones. Try
our accent as the team tours Hobbiton and try to
convince the guy they found a living moa because a
giant dino sized bird thought to be extinct for three
d years. Make sure they have a good feed of
traditional hangy while they're there, and try some Jandles on
for size and go from a Kylie type person gen
(03:17):
we have gene bulls. If anyone wants to say the Jandles,
it's just wrought that. Why were all that? How do
you gosh? Oh gosh, honey, they have genders pictures. Brice, Brice,
keep up, kids, don't have his snack claws out? They sorry?
Eating this luna bar? Does that count as a snack?
(03:40):
It does count as a snack? Thought it? Wait? These
are these are animals that are gonna they are gonna eat?
These are these like? Are these like animals? Like Tolkien animals, hereatronics. No, No, okay,
maybe they do, and she's not lying. There's no in
the tronics. This is not what's the rhet? You look? Oh,
(04:04):
I'm sorry, that's the I have a question. What is there? Please?
Cool to go to here? We talked about this, buddy.
I just want to know, what do you think it's cool?
I don't know what do I think it's cool? Thanks
for asking this, ro Okay, I'll stand on the rock.
(04:26):
There's a nice way to ask me to stand on
the rock. Nice to strangers, I'm nice to strangers, are
nice to me. Yes, I've been very nice. I'll tell
you what I think is cool. I'm getting WiFi service
is cool. Being able to check Drake's Instagram is cool.
Drake doesn't care about our family vacation, but you know
(04:48):
who does the people who are here with you, your
mother and father. Sorry, I thought you all asked me
a question and I was supposed to take a deep
He done? Yeah? I think he when he gets that
high pit wise us super lame already And I just
wanted to what did you What do you think was
gonna happen? You were going to meet a real hobbit here?
(05:10):
I don't know, Dad, I don't freaking me. To make
things more interesting, how about everybody get out their snack boss,
instead of putting them away. Everyone get out any food
you've got on your body. Okay, my lunar bars, I
just put away your tongue. The great hear tiny tinny.
We're gonna do it. You know what, when I'm back
(05:32):
home with all my cool friends and we feel like
we don't have anything, we usually sit down and have
freaking snacks. I'm not suggesting you have a snack. Everyone
gets your foot out, put it in your hands, snare it. Okay,
it's that yogurt talk coili? What was that? Wasn't it's
(05:58):
should getting what it's you know, it only feeds once
a year, and it's gonna eat a lot having fun. Honey,
what do you think they're talking about? I don't know.
It doesn't mean if it's making more, it's not los
to choosey. It is on us to cheating. I want
to see something else. Shots come on now, plays the
wild country. It's war, but plays that. Look, there's a ring.
(06:21):
There's a ring. Little bind us keep us to kid
of the rings. The one ring is what you're talking about.
This is part of the show. He's trying to get
me to merryam. I'm not going on Monday, I ask you,
Oh my god, oh my god. Something would you or
(06:45):
something him away? Oh no, I didn't, thank you? Would
I thought it would get the kid coyly? Does that
happen all the time? Okay? Did I just wait? It's
a giant bird grabbing a man and running off with
them like he's a loose hot dog. Did you think
that was cool? Did this bird made this make a
(07:05):
sound that was like the last half of jay Z's laugh?
Oh my okay, okay, you know what. I take everything
I said before. This is starting to get cool. I
wish we could get him one of these whole bit houses,
but they're not really just for sobs, so that means
we just stuck at here in the wilderness. I'm Gandalf
(07:29):
was tinny tiny tiny what Noah ship? Alright? Alright, I'm
just gonna hand out some knives. Oh god. Every time
something cool happens, some very rude side conversation starts. Can
we please get on with the coolness. I'm gonna get
into slider and I'm gonna jump off the cliff. Oh god,
(07:56):
they got they got tinny the blood, that's real blood.
All right, this show is amazing, really good. I love
the show within a show thing. No, no, no, no, right, Sean,
wrap your legs around my wife's I'm gonna jump in
this clider. I'm gonna swoop down. We're going to use
the ship. Doesn't need to wrap his arms around you phone.
(08:20):
You don't need to do that, Sean, We're not but
you can't ask him to do that. Kinto, I'm gonna
need to get them. No, but he doesn't need to
rep his legs around. Are you trying to get him
to wrap his legs around. It's not about that. It's
not about that. College not come back lead. This is incredible.
(08:47):
They just put that gand do I can put that
on my Instagram story. You've got some real problems? Do
you know that they have real problems? Yes? I have
real problems. Okay, no, no, no sarcastic, but no, you're
trying to make it real. What are your real problems?
My real problem is that my parents dragged me halfway
across the flat earth. Because it's based on something that
(09:11):
my parents read and what was it? Third grade? Fourth grade?
Third and fourth grade is the rings right? And that
because you read it when you were half my age,
I'm supposed to think it's cool. Now that's exactly right. Son.
We will ground you until you admit that because wish
you would ground me. I wish you would. This is
going to mad it when a memorea eat a mamoa?
(09:33):
Oh yes, I'm sorry, Like what happened with the gama? Lad? Lead?
Is that using a letter we don't know about in America?
Or I'm a I'm ah look at that? No? No, no,
(09:53):
where's lads going going? I mean going on the good thing.
You can do something. He's laying her own. We should
get out of him. I really should stip mate show.
We need to count. Wow, that is three in a row. Okay, yes,
(10:23):
half points because three people have died on this trip. Well, honey,
they haven't really died. To make a plan now, the
assumption is that they've dined. Honey. Listen, it's the part
of the show where we make a plan. You go,
you go on Coyly, it's coil. That's what he said.
There's north schar this is there's no shar. There's no shar.
(10:45):
This is I don't know what a shar is but
shar because it's it's a New Zealand thing. We've got
to go to the north Shore to get there. Oh,
I see what it is. It's not a bit. You're
the one that came up with that. We can go
to the north shore. No oh no, oh, you have him, Migraine.
(11:08):
It's y'all who running boards or something. You guys want
to catch up on this wave. We're with some. We're
with them, the Lord of the Rings storing. Yeah, we
just hiked through a living history museum of rude Kiwi
side conversations. Oh, this guy's go the yeah as you
as you read Lord of the Rings or no, we're
(11:29):
trying to get him to read them, trying to get
him to read period Instagram Hungry Mora, the Giant, the
legendary Bird. I don't believe in that stuff. I'm American
guys in on it too. This is amazing. It's like, yeah,
it's like one of those like LARPing things where the
whole the whole town country just bang already. Excuse me,
(11:52):
Bryce on the table do you want to do? You
want to wind up in a loincloth like seawn over here?
Maybe if it means I get to fly home. No offense, Sean,
I said something, you guys, did you swing or we do?
But um, when our son is here, it's kind of
in the back. God, I can't hear you. Brycewell, don't
(12:15):
bring up banging the loincloth. Man. Do you think it's
freaking stranger? He's not a stranger. Cast members have been eaten.
Is this for real? Yes, yes, sure it is. It's
for real. It's not real. Sorry. If we had animatronic technology,
that good the tour. Oh, I guess that's another New
(12:39):
Zealand thing to us, a local word it means showed up. Stupid. Yeah,
I'd like a veggim my diet. You got that you want?
Deluted deed? Hello? Hello, hey brides man, I was y God,
(13:01):
thank you so much for calling. I am dying. I
am freaking dye. Dude. Mine's worst than years. Man. I'm
just at a place where we got to see where C. S.
Lewis wrote about his Christian beliefs. There's no wardrobe, there's
no Narnia. My vacation suck. Yeah, yea, I know what
you're talking about. It's the one with the cat and
the hutch and the kids with the swords. And stuff
(13:21):
for something like that. That's the one, right, Yeah, I
guess C S stands for crappy sir, guy, honey, let's
do the screw tape letter's room? Do? Come on? Okay,
so you were saying about the yes, welcome to the home.
(13:43):
This is where C. S. Lewis wrote the screw tape letter. Yes, so, um,
you'll you'll see you over on the wall. Um, there's
a lot of reviews. Yes, exactly, so for C. S. Lewis,
that's how he wrote words. When do we get to
hear of the recordings to him? Fucking? What was that?
The screw takes? When do we get to hear a
(14:04):
screw tape that? I think you have a misunderstanding of
what the screw tapes that are all there? Not actually him? Yes,
recordings of C. S. Louis somewhere, the tapes of what thanks.
So we're gonna hear the C. S. Lowis somebody takes?
So this is rooted in Christianity that you have FaceTime, Brice,
check it out. Look at the lameness. Oh my god, dude,
(14:25):
I'm so sorry, so sorry for you. My life sucks
just as bad here. Look okay, sorry, we're gonna have
to work together. We're gonna have to make construction. We're
gonna have to make a weapon. We're gonna have to
make a big weapon, and we're gonna need They have
been talking about a bird they cannot catch for fifteen Bryce. Okay,
(14:45):
so this is what we'll do. We can use Bruce
is a bite? Well, I was great? Cool? Do you
like participating? Sureine, show the problem? Okay, there you go.
Check with this giant hooked to his back in the stomach? God,
oh God, are not up? I'm are you seeing this?
(15:17):
Are you seeing this? Man? They are putting me on
a hook and baiting me for a giant bird that
shouldn't exist. Does he not think having a hook in
his back to get baited into a giant bird is
remotely cool? And he's your son. Some intestines coming out
and he's still chanting. You know what? The funniest part
about this is they think that I think this is cool.
(15:39):
Will never get us, man, They'll never get us. How's
it going over by you? They're just showing me different
card stock. Turn turn your phone around. I want to
taste your suffering. Look here, sir, it just please back up. Please,
that's my husband, can you until I get to listen
to the screw tapes? And this is this is like
a heavy called stock. Maybe in modern times you print
(16:01):
a resume on if you're going for a job interviews. Yeah,
so I haven't just kind of touched the paper. Yeah yeah,
it's nice right, um okay. Now in the next room
was that it was this room just for the paper, yes, exactly, yes,
cad stock cod stock okay. And in the next room,
this is the room of wardrobes. So this is where boring.
(16:25):
What's going on with your FaceTime? Called to a bird?
He's up super high? Look it whoa? Oh my god, honey.
Are you having fun? Oh that's a good la. Are
you staying in the city or where you staying? Um, yeah,
we're staying in Zealand. You're staying in Zealand in Zealand
(16:50):
called Zealand Downtown is very nice. Oh yeah, we noticed
like a little bistro that's the first bistro in the country.
Is that true? Check it out the dishes it's coming dude.
Oh wow, oh there's that. Hey, look it's the moa.
It does it does sound like jay z okay, so
(17:13):
oh god, oh so I'm sure there's like an afterto
our place to meet him. Now what you didn't tell
the rope to anything? Oh my god, dude, are you
seeing this? I'm being taken away by a giant bird. Fault, dude,
You're getting dropped into it like a nest thing. Okay,
before I hit the nest, someone put on this chap
the snapchat filter. Do I look like a bunny? Yeah? Bunny,
(17:38):
bro just a bunny in a net with a bird.
That okay, you know what. I'm actually having fun? Now
what's going on by you? Oh? They just showed us
the silver chair, but it's actually just a bean bag.
And and this actually looks like a chair, but touch it.
(17:59):
So the steel chair is just a whole bunch of
beans exactly. Yes. And now the next room we have,
it's just full of the next room. Yes, are you confused? No? No, okay,
Now this next room we have is full of adult
male lions. Just got cool, okay. And that's hobbits in
(18:29):
That's just that's just how those authors intended it. If
you're going to be respectful. Seen two is from Tyler,
who wrote, Hey guys, I love the show and listen
every week in Yadi Kata yatta. Anyway, I recently read
(18:52):
a news article that talked about how Pablo Escobar has
abandoned hippopotamus is are breeding and multiplying and it's causing
ecological assists in Colombia. My scene suggestion is the Colombian
government coming up with the plan to control the hippo
population of Colombia and implementing that plan. I don't care
what happens next. You're all clever, awesome people, so please
(19:12):
keep it up, sincerely, Tyler m Okay, look, I don't
care what what anyone says. This is the most important
pressing thing on the docket. Yeah, of course. Okay, we
gotta figure out what we're gonna do about this. These
the hip hippos. I think hippo, Hi, hippo, hibbo, yes, hippo. No, no, no, no, hippo.
(19:39):
I think we should shoot them. I'm down. I think
strangle them, shoot him, tie him up, and burn them up.
Whatever the humane alternatives. Like, we can lure them away
with a bunch of marbles, yeah, exactly, follow them out,
Oh my god. And then we got to import marbles
and then guess what, now we're under big marbles thumb.
I know we know, no more, oh more of that.
(20:00):
I just think we need to be humane here. Guys.
You know, hippopotamia are incredibly They're intelligent, but they're also
super territorial. I'm with Chris. I think that. I mean
this is Chris Well. I mean romantically. Yes, we're together,
get over it. Yeah we're not. We don't have a
problem with Chris, I said, I said romantically, and you
said we worked together. No, No, we're together. We worked
(20:22):
together to I just wanted to make sure we were
on the same pag. It's not about a relationship. I
got a problem with it. I have a problem with you.
Come in doors open. I'm the hippopotamus expert on here. Great,
thank you. How do you say it? I'm sorry, how
do how do you say the hippopotamus? God? How the
fund do you say? It's hippopotamus? So it is? No,
(20:45):
you say it like it's spelled. I don't know. Did
you ever hear of a hippopotamus before? No? I mean Columbia,
I live in I was born and racid. This is
not an indigenous animal. I don't know what it's not about.
Calming down? But why are they why do they get
to have a relationship. What excuse me, I'm sorry, Am
I in the right room? Come on, there's some water.
(21:06):
So it's the hippopotamus. Is there is there a humane
way to sorry about it today? Yeah, that's a very
good questions the back of the head. There's a good question.
Um there there is, um there is some hippopotamus expert. Huh. Yeah,
how did you get how did you get that? How
did you get that? Get everybody? How did you get that? Well?
(21:32):
How do you say? Right? Shut up? I well, anyway,
my name is a doctor shove job, of course, and
I'm actually shoved job. Yeah, I haven't. I haven't. I
haven't an associate's degree in arts management, a bachelor's degree
in large mammal study, and a doctorate um in hippopotamus.
That is crazy. Yeah, what did you what did you
(21:59):
get your doctor that my doctorate got? There was no
masters You don't need a master's for some things you
don't know, not really, I got my doctorate in in oncology. Really, yeah,
you're you're a doctor of oncology. I don't practice, but
I am. Yeah, he worked on my sister. I'm surprised
you can't find a relationship. So you can't wait. I'm
(22:24):
still hung about Dan can't say hippopotamus, but a doctor
of oncology. It's impossible to say. It's one of It's
a hard word, right, What is doctor che john hip? Yes, yes, ma'am.
What's a hard word oncology or hippopotamus? I would say
pschology hip. I mean, if it helps at all. The
(22:45):
ancient Mayans used to call him water pigs. Oh, what
the fuck? The ancient is that what you're doing now? Huh,
Danny was helping you. You can call it water pig
because you can say water and you can say pig.
I've heard you say both. Say it's like at this point,
it's like you're trying. You said the thing last week,
I believe, and you called me water last week, so
we know you can say both. I'm not going to
(23:06):
call it a water pig. I'm going to call it
a hippolobo. I'm gonna call it just just that's fine.
Just know that when we say start rubbing each other's
thighs and we worked together, yeah, we're aware of both.
It's pissing everybody off. So so the hippos are actually
doing a lot of damage to the greater environmental system.
(23:27):
We'll try to light them up again. We're looking for
a humane way to deal with that. Okay, well, yeah,
not what. I haven't picked a lane on what we
should do shoot them. Well, I mean, if you'd like,
if you'd like some expert advice. I have been doing
a field study with the hippos in Colombia for the
last six months, out there watching them multiply and destroy
farmland and havoc. Well, that's what I'm here to talk
(23:53):
to you, Okay, to spit it out to it. So
the biggest thing we have to expert is a chatty one,
am I yes, Dr chef Job, just tell us what
it is. Can you give us a second? Can you
just give us a second? First hour? Of course? What
the fuck? What the fun? I looked him up on
the Yellow Pages and he's the first one that came up.
We got we all got to agree on this. We
(24:14):
all have to agree that there can't be any workplace relationships. Okay,
that's what that huddle that it's a sidebar? Are you
kidding me? And no, I'm the head of HR. We
said it's fine because if people are we came forward early. Yeah,
and I said if you're happy and you know what exactly.
We're polite. We announced when we're gonna take a fun break.
(24:35):
We always announced it exactly. But we don't even know
that okay because some people it just kissed me. It's
like we should all be in a relationship. No, that
doesn't make sense. I would have agreed with Danny, but
things didn't work out. Yeah, things didn't work out. Wait, No,
I want to keep the huddle going. Dan, you had
a chance to have a relationship at work. Do you
(24:55):
want to talk about it? Yeah, okay, go for hi.
I don't think that it's anyone here is worth having
a relationship with everyone. Well, I was worth four dates.
I was worth four dates. I just want to say that.
And you paid for all of the stuff we did. Yeah,
I did pay for all the stuff we did, Dan,
And it seems like really a really good deal. You
think so, But it's also like where do I where's
(25:17):
where's my what's my position? You know what I mean?
What do you mean? What's your position? For not money?
Every time I did not want to pay, he did
not bring money, He did not bring a wallet, Are
you kidding? On all four days, on all four days,
and yet I don't get asked on a fifth date.
I spent fifteen hundred dollars on your jan not enough, honestly,
(25:41):
use an appy. I just gotta say things have been
a little weird since Dad left, you know what I mean,
Like just out here in the mud, nobody wants to
pet us. Yeah, it's it's it's like I can't get
(26:03):
my body temperature right, I know, man, it's like we're
not even indigenous. It's pain. It's not pain, it's it's
like hard, it's discomfort. Yeah, yeah, it's longing dad. It's
Dad coming back. No, Tito, Dad's not coming back. When
Sid coming back? Dad, Dad's not coming back because I'm
(26:26):
going to go wait for Dad. The Federal we have
to be real careful about meeting with sisters. Yeah, well look,
I mean it's there's not we're not native. Well I
just think let's just do how about this, listen to
a soft rule. Okay, so like shut you just get
on my sisters, and I'll just get on your sisters.
(26:49):
In that way. We'll keep keep that, we'll keep that
from happening. Made my air's wet, gold ore weigling really good.
Right now, Look at hey can we go al, I'm
look out on weg all due d Now that guy's
dad's not here, I smell. I can go under the water,
(27:10):
and that I can go to the top all the
water at well. I can run fast also on land
when your uncle is your brother, Clapper switter minute, Hey, dufe,
you can run fast on land. I can run fast
on land. I timed it. You haven't. We've been trying
(27:30):
to keep below profile. Man, have you been rampaging? I
go through town and I say streaking, streaking, streaking. Well,
he's a natural sprinter. He can't. He can't. Your uncle
is your lover, Clap your free Okay, panty pantsy, just stop.
That's that's that's enough. I just I just worry about
(27:51):
this family staying together now that dad's gone into prison. Look,
the family is two together objectively, right, Well, no, I
just think we need That's what I'm saying about rules,
all right, Strong fences make good neighbors. Hey, brother, um,
I just heard you guys talking over here, jumping the
(28:12):
mud with us. Come on, okay, two brother um, brother ted,
I'm gonna go take a nap. If you there's a
big surprise. Well, we just established a rule twiler. It's
it's it's it's him on my sister's and me on
his sisters. Wait, we're all just trying to take a break. No,
(28:35):
I was just saying I was going to take a nap.
And also I'm horny, right sure, Hey, hey was doctor
to shove jobs sitting over there looking at us to
ignore him like I've kind of walked by him a
couple of times. I kind of did. I kind of
looked at him in the eyes to see what was
going on, and he just seems like a real dumb
(28:55):
piece of ship. Doctor. I don't care how long you
spend research in these animals. Your your papers make no sense.
You're telling me that the sisters and brothers some kind
of rum. I'm saying that after three to four months.
It took after about three to four months of daily observation, um,
(29:18):
I noticed that there was a bit more of a
complex social structure than we may have thought before. So
how should we kill them? How does it help us
know how to kill that? Still aren't this jury is
still out on us killing them. Sorry, back from our break.
It was a good break break for me. You went,
I went on a break, okay, So okay, well, I'm
(29:40):
sure we're talking about a break. We were just on.
I understand that I didn't know that. What's wrong with you?
I'm dumb? Yeah, I have a question, doctor the doctor.
I'd love to know doctor Chuck. You're a doctor. I
don't know her at all. You're a doctor. You can
answer it. You could get to know me. Well paid
(30:02):
for one dinner, I'd be a pretty good day. I
lost my wallet four times, Dan, I didn't know what
pants they were in. You're always just scrub pants. Well,
it's the same pair, but I have about thousands of
these pants in my house. You have thousands of the
same pair of pants. Yes, I'm an investor. Guys, I
don't want to alarm me. As looking out the window,
(30:24):
the water pigs are moving up on the building. This
has to okay, Okay, we gotta kill this him. Okay,
wait should we do? Should we strangle them? And trying
to tell you this for seventeen hours? You don't have
to kill them at all, thank you. They're climbing up
the side of the building. Problem with hippos is why
(30:46):
they're being so bold is body positivity. I mean, we
used to shame these animals and shame them into the
creeks and streams and pretty hungry hippos. Do you remember that?
If anything, it's acceptance of their body posts, which is,
if we lost this streak, if we just yell out
the window nice things about their bodies, they'll go away
on their own, sir. The antithesis of that. But if
(31:08):
we all mean things about their body, shame them in
ways they don't expect the shove job, this seems like
a pile of Listen to a hippo is a complex empathetic.
In climbing, I can climb. Do you know what? I'm
(31:30):
gonna die looking good? But let's cannot stop me. Oh oh,
that is wow. That that the rest are dead, but
that one is still climbing a dominable spirit. I've got
at his wriggling ears, always so cute. Can we please
(31:51):
say nice things, council people, if you allow me. You there, hippo,
you might want to not eat so many snack food,
They say, hippo, hippo, hippo, hippo. I might not want
the food. It's not I'm just saying, if if you,
if you want to meet a nice girl someday or
a nice boy, want to change yourself physically in some way,
(32:15):
doctor show. I don't think you can say that it'll work.
Trust just shoot it in the head. That's me so
many just shoot it. I'm I'm forced to use extreme measures. Hippo.
Do you see me? I see you, I see you
for who you really? Old hippo, googo Rex, Relax, relax.
(32:42):
This hippo has been nothing but kind to you. I
have come on, come on, this is science. You impression
on my brother and it was Spot's actually enjoying. This
is what I was afraid of. You waited too long.
The hippos are too in bred. They have no sense
of self. Look, we just want to kill them. We
(33:03):
don't want to hurt their feeling. Joinning like that. Now,
let's dousted and gasoline light on fire. That's a good
idea Ide and I agree on something. Okay, great, Now,
let's all just think for a second and decide who
we want to be in a relationship with. Dan. What
what the hell? Wait? Did you just pick Dan? No?
I mean I thought we were all doing it. I'll
pick Dan. You're in a relationship with out there now,
(33:28):
I get doctor shove. He seems not he knows a
lot about hippo's. Yeah, actually, after meeting you all, I'm
thinking about going into the church again. Again. You didn't
list that when you listed your credentials. I'm a former priest.
That was my master's degree. That's over. Master did not
get drafted or well, let's just say no, that sucks. Hey, guys,
(33:53):
they're still a hippo climbing the building outside. I'll look
at that top, all right. Uh man, I don't get
any guess, but what I do have, I got a
heart of gold and I'm gonna tackle that himmo, and
I'm gonna jump off of this me. You're going to
have to because he's too done to be self aware.
And you're also in a relationship with him now. And you, well,
you chose the hippo very easily over me after I
(34:13):
said I wanted to be in the relationship with you.
So I won't feel bad, don't feel bad. I'm just
saying I'll take the know I'll get I get it.
This is for you because I don't think we connected enough,
and I'm sorry. And this is also for you because
I think that I think I slipped through your fingers.
(34:34):
Everything I would have I would have kept it up
for a while. I don't know why guys Dufe is
at the window here. I go, oh, he just jumped
on back. I'm okay, and they what are they doing it?
You're taking a break. That's hippo guy, It's good. Yeah,
(35:02):
that's where we thought it would go. I imagine a
statue in the city square at the end of you know,
a hundred years later and you know, like is sort
of like ending like the Grand Budapest Hotel, like, oh,
it's just a stole spoiler. I was gonna watch bud tonight.
(35:23):
I ruined it for you. Dan is in it. And
our last scene today is from Audrey, who wrote, Hey, alchemists,
love the show, especially now that it comes out twice
a week. Quick proposal, hear me out three times a week.
Don't answer you yet, think it over. Listen to the
(35:44):
last episode. Here's my suggestion. Can we here some unaired
appraisals from Antiques Road Show? Thanks so much. I hope
to hear what you do with this, but if not,
I'll keep listening and I'll only hold a tiny grudge. Audrey,
this is this is very pretty. But if you brought
to me here today, um, this is my grandmother's inherited
(36:07):
baby shoes. So she got these um from her grandmother.
Are you telling him where I got him? Yes, I'm
telling you your baby shoes, Grandma. My baby shoes fit
my baby feet. Yeah, so that's kind of what that's
what we know about it, and that's what baby shoes
her baby feet. Yeah. But but she got some from
(36:28):
her from her grandmother, who was from um France the country. Yeah,
I know, Francis, it's like kind of in Europe. I
know what I know what end to Francis. I didn't
fit me when I was bigger. Well, the baby shoes
that I think that might be what makes them variable. Oh,
that is not what makes them value. But I'd like
(36:49):
to draw your attention to this on the bottoms that
you see that little the initials on the bottoms there
and the date seventeen eighty three. You see that seen three? Oh,
I guess for some reason I thought that was a
shoe size. Oh no, no, no three or the years
they came from her grandmother, who came from her grandmother,
who came from her grandmother. The shoes for actually going
(37:10):
to see w A M written Donna. I thought that
was a band name. No, that well, that's w h
A M w A M is that is van Mozart.
These are Mozart baby shoes. They're right, I know, Oh
my god, that you have Mozart's baby shoes. I wonder
if they fitted his feet when he was a baby,
(37:32):
and then they fitted another baby's feet, and on dandelion,
then they fitted another baby. Are you a descendant of Mozart?
I don't know what that is. It's a very famous
composer from the late nineteenth century eighteenth century classical music. Grandma,
do you want to think of twink a little stock? Now?
(37:52):
You don't. You're not familar to think of drink a
little stock? Granma? He did write it. That's not how
much they weren't, kid, Yeah, seven hundred million dollars are
very rich. Now, that's just one of our success stories
from here in uh South Boston City. And fun fact,
not a lot of people know this, but Wolfgang Amadeus
(38:15):
Mozart died in a popper's grave riddled with venarial disease.
Let's see fact it is. It's a super fun fact.
Let's move on into some more collectibles. What's happening over
in the West Wing. Well, I thought I didn't know
what it was, that those are rocket first, but then
when I brought it inside, the rock outs soft, and um,
well it looks like ship and daste like ship. It
(38:37):
smells like it. But if you dig inside and you
pull out, it's this ring. And if you get it
next to a fire lights up and uh and if
you put it on you go into indivisible and uh
so how much is it worth? Can I eat it? Well?
First of all, thank you so much for bringing this in.
We have wanted to see one of these in a
(38:59):
long time. And when something like this comes in oftentimes
collectors and the light like to say thanks for the sediment.
I'll keep going. Um. What what we have here is
some standard uh six ounces of fluid Middle Earth. Um.
And within the Middle Earth, it seems you found the
(39:19):
one ring to rule them all. Tell me, when you
hold the ring up to a heat source, do you
see any Elvish? I mean to when I gets by
fire lots up? Sure? Sure, sure, So this ring was
probably brought over here by immigrants escaping the Great Kashmir
wars Um around b C. And it was last owned
(39:41):
by Elvish Pressley. Um. And what you have there is
something Elvish Pressley saying, well, not exactly. You know, he's
a he was a fantasy character that also sang um.
But what what you have here is in wit alone.
The gold ring is worth at least i'd say three
(40:03):
hundred galleons, which is a pirate currency translated to I
would say, you're sitting in you want to ensure it
for at least forty k I don't have that kind
of money. I can't put for Well, if you sold
the ring, you could ensure it. And how much is
it worth? Oh, it's worth at least forty five dollars. Yeah.
(40:25):
You want to be careful with it, though, because the
more you wear it and the more your skin will
turn green and you will become a slave to the
hunger of the piece of jewelry. So I can't eat it.
Uh No, you should not eat it, No, not at all,
because nothing can destroy it except the burning heart of
Mount Doom. I understand. Well, I'm a man, and I
don't believe I'm corruptible, so I'll just keep it on
(40:47):
my person until then. Sounds good. All right, thank you.
Is there a rushroom round here, Yes, there is, there's
a one need no need. Wow, that is another exciting
entry into today and South Boston City. We're going to
live to our remote outside to see some textiles. Okay, great, okay, wonderful.
(41:08):
Now this is a beautiful rock. It's a beautiful rug. Yeah.
And you'll notice the embroidery up top. You'll notice that, Okay,
that right there, that's a Nazi symbol. Okay, and then
all through right here, this is all just Nazi like
symbolism right through here. Okay, I'm sure it was. And
if you look in the dead center right here, you're
(41:29):
gonna see a face that's at all Hitler. Okay, that's
clearly at a film. Now you said your grandmother had this, No,
I mean I don't want them to film this story
once we turned the camera and we can't shut it off. Pleas,
I didn't know. I didn't know that was this is
in your family? Yeah, no, yes, okay, wow, okay, this
(41:52):
is great. I mean, this is and you can tell
this is high up in the third Reich. You would
get something like this only if you're in the top
echelon top rock school teacher. And I did not. I
thought this was just a beautiful lad I had noticed.
I mean now that I see it, I see the
shapes are jumping out of me. But I had no idea.
Yeah yeah, so I mean that's clearly a swastika. Yeah, okay, okay,
(42:13):
And there's just there's just graphic hate speech throughout. This
is oh yoh totally. But I mean the piece itself,
what what history? Yeah, so a retail on the black
market or if you want to go into like some
far righte uh forums and whatnot, that could fetch you
somewhere between hundred two thousand dollars. Great, thank you, you're welcome. Wow.
(42:37):
That was surprisingly sad and emotional. Moving right on along,
we have another remote here in one of the local museums,
claiming that they have Hitler's Last breath. It's it's it's
in a ball here. I've called it. I found it,
found it at flea market. Don't take it, diddy, so
I'll call it. I bolted up and I brought here
(42:57):
to the museum. So it was what, so you found
it when you were in Piccadilly and then in England? Um? Great? Um?
So you were saying you found it loose and you
bottled it up. I was walking around I felt like
this hate just wash over me instid like I always
carry a little bottles of me. I noticed that around
(43:18):
your call me a little bittle, guys, a little bit
and I'll put put it in there. And I was like,
I've got to get to State side. I see what
this is. Wolf. Well, this took the last minute flight,
so it was like to get here. So I'm hoping
the less breath of the worst person ever something. Sure, Wow,
(43:39):
what a story, um, So thank you so much for
bringing this here. Um. Today, we had our experts take
a look at this, and they love this kind of stuff,
so for us this was really fun. Um. Now, according
to our experts who went to Harvard went to yah, Um,
they took a look at the breath and if you'll
(44:02):
see the bottom of the breath in the bottom of
the bottle, it has that kind of like Tiffany stamp
on it. Um. So that is how you know it
is an authentic Hitler's breath. So the claim you made
is that it's his last last one. Yeah, I'm pretty
sure it was because he's dead. He's dead, he's not
here anymore. So I thought it's probably not likely that
there's several Hitler's breaths wondering what it's probably the last one,
(44:23):
so yeah, so exactly. It's funny you say that actually
because this is one of the most um commonly um
counterfeited things in the art industry. UM, but yours is real. Um.
So we had our experts look at it, and you
brought this to auction today. Um, it would fetch anywhere
(44:45):
from three to four UM dollars, just free to four blocks.
It's always yeah, so I'm already negative, like fifty five
seven dollars. Yes, the dollars if I can interject ahead,
the dollars are for the jar. Yeah. We noticed that
(45:07):
is a Tiffany original jar. So not in a great condition,
but a great Yeah. Because mobile guy, we established that
it's my thing. I've got severed all the bottles. May
you should look at the bottle. You can look at
another bottle. This one's This one's long and skinny, a lot,
this one because it's probably worth that's good. Let me,
I'm gonna wrote these down. This one's shot on fat.
(45:27):
It's a lot. It's like the abbot to the castello.
The other just you know, recycled value ten cents. It's
a pickle jar. It's a pickle jar and this is fine.
Actually we're doing kind of like a live appraisal here
because we do have an expert, a bottle and a
breath expert, Miranda. And what would I call you? I
don't know, Joan. Yes, yes, I would love it if
(45:48):
you call me Joan. Well, Joan, you're also a bottle
and breath expert. And Miranda and you're a TV star,
stop and a star. I'm just a beautiful woman. This one.
This one's Mason Jaw. It's got a top, claps down,
roll good under. Genie in side? Oh no, this it
looks like there is a genie inside. Based off of
the genie saying there's a genie in side, yeah, I
(46:09):
would say that could go for up to do. Wow,
that really was exciting. And antique bottles, were you any
were anyone at home fooled by Hitler's Last breath? Because
if you were, you should go to the bathroom. Now
look at the mirror and say, wow, you're dumb. But
what's going on in antique toys? Oh? Yes, hello, I'm
(46:32):
calling in. I was at home. I'm watching the live
stream here. Okay, go right ahead, you're live on PPS.
For some reason, you just said if anyone was fooled.
I was ruled yes, if you were fooled by the breath,
but you should hold on. I'm going to transfer you
to our donations line because we're gonna want to sign
you up for a brand new package where you're gonna
get a free tote decalf coffee Crystal. Say so much
(46:54):
for calling. Yeah, I'm getting another call and call. You're
live on PBS. For some reason, was fooled as well. Yes,
sir and my lover we're watching from our mud pin
and I was fooled, so I thought I would call
it on a phone, which my lover has. He has
a phone, and I called from it. Thank you so
much for pizza. Thanks for calling a pizza. What's it worth? Wow,
(47:20):
it's been really great getting all this feedback. Yes, Hello,
you call your caller. You're on the air on PBS
for that, because that's what it is. Now, Um, I'm
calling for the three for five dollars the wrong number.
This is PBS. We don't eat anything with salt in it.
Thanks for calling all. Wow. I am going to turn
(47:41):
my phone off after this for sure. This is getting
a little embarrassing. Hi, you're on the air with PBS
that broadcasting. Hey that hippo that just called in ordering
a pizza with boyfriend? How much is that hippo worth? Okay, sir,
I'm gonna transfer you to auctions here, and I'm gonna
keep hosting anti scroad show I was watching to begin with.
(48:02):
While we cannot use can we use any of this?
We can't. And also there's no auction you can't transfer
some of the auctions. I just I'm literally just making
this up as I go along. Yeah, okay, your toy here,
this looks pretty good. Um oh yeah, uh, I'm sorry. Uh,
this is really stupid. This is a dumb toy. Wait,
you don't like that toy? Alright? Alright, alright, how about
(48:23):
this toy? They're all dumb? All right? How about this toy? Dumb?
Just like my fucking family. This is uh yeah, you
gotta I don't know. Yeah what what was? Who has
used this before? Does this looks used? It's like my
fucking wife? Um yeah, that's that was That toy was
used by a lady that I met last week. Yeah, Joe,
answer name, real nice lady, real nice lady cars or
(48:47):
something like that. Yeah. Well, we started off just playing cars,
but then we actually, you know, we found a real
connection to one another. You know at Joe and Boy,
what a lady are you married? Well, Joe and and
I are gonna be married soon soon as she jump, sir,
and I quote jerk husband. Yeah, yeah, I get that
good lucking relationship, my man. Hey, thanks, good looking. What
(49:09):
isn't your wife's name? Joanne? Yeah? Yeah, I guess Why
do the math man do the math? It's me that
voice in your head that tells you stuff when you
need to figure stuff out. Briggle? It's me Briggle. Yeah,
I wish you wouldn't have named me Brickle. I choose
that anyway. It seems like that guy is kind of
(49:30):
trying to hint that he's, you know, with you know, no,
you keep leaving those words out. He's having an affair
with your wife. How do you know that? Briggo? But wait,
did you just call me a different name? Briggle? Thank you?
Briggle is the person who lives inside my head and
tells me truth. Okay, sir, I have a question for you,
(49:52):
Joe Anne. Would you know her last name? But yeah,
I mean Acalytis. But we were las. Wow, weird, that's
my name? You know a lot of other Greek jo
Anne's do you huh, No, you don't. That's my that's
my wife. I just keep my wife. You're you went
on you played You played with toys with my wife.
(50:13):
You play toys with my wife. I'm just trying to
get these are praised. I got an praise before you.
She didn't have a ring on you up your ass.
Don't write it on my toys. All right, So that's
why at the bottom of the screen, now that like
it's a price. Yeah, that's exactly how. We're just gonna
drop off this antique knife box full of knife to
be a praise. Next. Oh yeah, well oh look at this.
(50:37):
Oh this is a nice smooth steal. Would happened if
I cut my own wrists? No? No, no, not your
own risk? Mr acolitisc Yeah it's me. What do you?
What do you do have revenge? You don't cut your
own wrists? You're an acolytis. Here tick the knife and
you cut me right, not your wife. Let me all that,
(51:01):
Let me bow that breath, Let me bottle that's worried
about two dollars. That's our show for today. Let's say goodbye, alchemist,
plug your stuff. Caroline um I'm looking for someone to
(51:24):
help me, um register my car at the DMB. Okay,
we'll give him your your handle or something to that
and a half. So if you if you know how
to do that, reach me on Instagram at Cotter Poop.
Definitely help out. Caroline there, Vanessa Raglan Um, come hang
out at Dynasty Typewriter anytime you like and enjoy the popcorn.
(51:45):
Follow us fantastic, stay for the great shows. Yeah, but
the popcorn. So yeah, everything's really good. Brad Norman, I'm
you can hear me do Bowlwinkle or voice bowl Winkle
rather not do brand. You just ruined your brand. I've
(52:06):
voiced Bollwinkle on the Adventures of Rocky and Bollwinkle on
Amazon Prime. It's a hot little upstart company. Um, a
lot of people have heard about yet, so you know,
support local business and subscribe to Amazon. I'm on Twitter
and Facebook and Instagram. My Instagram is the most fun.
It's at b d Norms Smart every Wednesday at final
(52:29):
Wednesday of the month. I'm a Dynasty Typewriter workt use Wednesdays,
eating delicious popcorn and doing an improv show. And also
all summer long, Blood and Treasure Tuesday's at ten on CBS.
Nice Joey grab At Jevy Grieber on the Gram. Hit
me up what means that was? Sounded like an undercover cop.
(52:50):
I'm not a cop. I'm not a cop. Yeah, you
have to tell us I'm not a cop. I believe
I'm uh and the Bear Supply every second and fourth Wednesday,
nine o'clock at West Comedy Theater and Pretty Pretty Pony
every first first Thursday at ten o'clock at West I
(53:14):
com That's right, check that out. I'm at Cole Stratton
on Twitter at Stratton Cole on Instagram because you know
the other one's take. I gu those jerks also h
the same night as Bear Supply the second fourth Wednesday
of the month at eight The West Side Sketch Codes,
a sketch comedy group that I direct there at the
theater as well. They're super fun and cool. Thanks everybody
(53:36):
for listening. Let's thank our engineer Doug Bain and our
post sound design artist Raphael Brito, our producer Sophie Lichterman,
and lastly, I heart Media. I do heart media. I
encourage all of you to write a review, tell everyone
you've ever met about the podcast. And right to us
(53:56):
at your name here at alchemy this dot com. That's
your name year at alchemy this dot com. Until next time,
Alchemy
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