Art Critic at Kids Finger Painting Class

Art Critic at Kids Finger Painting Class

Newest Bond Girl is from Accounting

Ultimate Frisbee tournament

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello, everyone, Welcome back to another episode. Oh Alchemy. This
I am your guest host, Chris Alvarado, and I'm sitting
in for Kevin Pollock today or am I. We'll figure
that out in just a moment, but right now I
want to meet our alchemist today in no particular order. First,
let's say hello to Jackie d Ruthie. Oh hey, oh

(00:23):
hey Jackie. How would you describe or define your personal style? Oh?
That's really fun. Um. I mean my personal mottel has
to do with my personal style, and that's confidence is key. Oh.
I like a funky situation. I like a funky situation,

(00:45):
and I believe that, like you know, you can pull
off whatever as long as you're confident. I think that's right.
That's what I That's what I believe. Um. But at
the same time, I'm like a little bit of like
a simple dresser, you know what you mean. I don't
go like a bunch of I'm just like a little lazier.

(01:08):
But I like a bold choice, like a like a
something you'd were to like a sweatpant and like a
CrOx and like a hoodie type. You know, I'm a
cross gal. You know what it is is I like
to describe my closet. It looks like a like a
clown's room. Like it's just everything is very bright and
all different colors. I really like, I really like colors.

(01:29):
I own a few black T shirts, but that's because
they're all heat shirts. Um heat, they're all Miami Heat shirts.
But I really like, I really like a bunch of colors. But,
like you're saying, you can do all of this if
you have the confidence, all right, let's keep moving. Craig Katkowski, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome.

(01:51):
This is this is a real question. Well they're all
real questions, but I'm curious to hear hear your answer
on this one. In your opinion, which is the most
important element of theater? The script, the actors, or the audience?
And those are the only options. Those are only options
I'm giving you today, The script, the actors, or the audience.

(02:15):
I think a good production and good acting can absolutely
elevate a mediocre script. That and uh, terrible acting can
ruin a great script. Um so. And I think you
know audience, having a good audience is important. But uh,

(02:40):
you know, if if a great show exists in front
of three people who are watching it, you know who
were only mildly interested. I think it's still a great show.
I think all of those are are elements. But I
say this as an actor, uh that it's it comes
down to the acting. Oh. I love that. And also
by the way, I love when you show, when you

(03:01):
show your work like that, Like, I just love hearing.
I just love you, Greg. Can I just say that
out loud? I just love it. It's just fun to
hear you like work that out in real time. Thank
you for sharing that because I had to pick only one.
But of course all three are important. All three are important. Okay,
I'm moving on. James Heeney. Everybody say hello to James Heney. James,

(03:22):
I have a hypothetical for you, okay, and I want
you to answer this. You just booked. You just booked
a major role in two different movies, but you can
only accept one role. Now. One movie is starring The
Rock and the other movie is starring Paul Rudd. Which
movie are you are you going? Jeep was incredible, that's insane,

(03:48):
I guess, I guess Paul Rudd. I really love The Rock.
I mean that's insane. I love how personally I love this, James,
this is this is an awful scenario up for you, right, yeah,
oh my god, I love the Rock, but I have
to choose Paul Rock. I guarantee you'd be well compensated

(04:09):
for both roles. But if you pick the movie that
the rocks, then you're gonna make it a lot more money.
That's true. I mean that's very true. He makes a lot.
But yes, I'll go for the I'll go for the
Is it too late, I'll take the rock. The rocket
is right, if that's what you're all about stuff, But
I'll take a rock, then maybe that's right. Well, money

(04:32):
what money was not get a choice as a component,
But money was not a choice that important. He would
have chose money. Let's keep moving out here. Let's welcome
out tools. Singing everybody a tool? A tool. Would you
rather do a solo dance performance or a solo singing
performance dances? Is that because you're confident in your dance skills,

(04:57):
are not confident in your singing skills? I think it's
I'll stay on the positive. Confidence is key. Somebody wise
told me that about seconds ago, and uh yeah, I'm
confident in my dance skills, have rhythm um and so
I feel very strongly that I could do that easily.
I enjoy singing. But going to Craig's question, I might

(05:20):
the audience would not. They would be it would be
a concern. Gosh, No, I was just I would give
a lot of money to see a solo dance concert
with the tool. Oh you're so wonderful. Um. And now
this just in. Things are getting crazy here in the studio.
We have a special guest coming in. And this is

(05:41):
strange because I'm hosting, but you all know him and
love him. Ladies and gentlemen or however you identify, please
welcome Kevin Pollock. Yes, Pollock everyone. It's an upside down universe.
And uh, I'm so thrilled to be joining you guys
as late as it is. And I'm so grateful to

(06:03):
Chris for guest hosting today and allowing me to be
one of the alchemists to to Dear James, I just
want to say, take the Paul Rudd because A you're
gonna kill it better in a comedy. B. H. The
rock takes all the money, there'll be none left for you. Yeah,
as you'd like to switch, I've got it in the

(06:24):
books here. You were never switched over. To the rock.
You were not allowed to switch over to the Rock's terrific.
They're still on the rod. Yeah, and actually you spend time. Well,
you know, that's a different podcast. It's different, you know.
You know he's a great guy. But Kevin, I'm not
letting you off the hook without a question. Now. As
you know, because you've been in this zoom room, we
have been. We are joined today by two alche Maniacs.
That's Paul Hatton and Mike del Rosso. Right, they are here,

(06:47):
they're joining us. This is one of the perks of
being in Alchemaniac and they're having a good time. Now. Now,
when you stepped away from your computer, I said, I
gotta ask Kevin a question. He's a surprise special guest. Paul,
do you have a question for him? And he said
yes with the hesitation, and this was and this was
his Yeah, this is his question from Okay, very specific question, Kevin,

(07:09):
did you ever ignore a fan in Virginia Beach? Wow?
That's really specific. I mean, I mean the answer seems
sort of obvious. Do you recall it? Yeah? If the
question was do I recall that? That's that's a question
I can answer, whether or not I ever did seem

(07:31):
self fulfilling in the question. And for the record, I
would have much more appreciated a question from you, Chris.
But listen, yeah, yeah, yeah, listen. Uh Paul Hadden if
that's your real name, Uh uh maybe? I mean sure?
Oh I like this. I like this attitude again from

(07:53):
guests Kevin Paul Now, yeah, absolutely, he doesn't have to
charm anyone. Yeah no, no, I actually know one as
a partisant. Oh. I think I think we've said enough,
so let's jump in. Let's jump into our show here. Um,
as you all know, all of today's suggestions come to

(08:14):
us from listener emails, and if you want priorities, consider
becoming a Patreon v i P or Patreon alchemaniac. Right
you can, you can watch us. You can join us
for an in zoom session, plenty of perks, including bonus scenes,
and your suggestions move up in the queue. So if
you want to do that, please head on over to
patreon dot com slash alchemy this, or if you'd like

(08:36):
to submit a suggestion the old timing way. Gosh, it's
hard to do when Kevin's watching this, by the way,
because I'm using his cadence. But I'm gon keep going.
If you want to submit a suggestion the old timing way,
consider dropping us an email at alchemy this email at
gmail dot com, that's dot com. Seen one comes to

(08:58):
us from Alchemy v I p Andy Montoya and he says,
seeing suggestion, harsh art. Critic goes to their kids finger
painting class. Thanks and take care. All of you have
done such a great job. I can't wait for you

(09:21):
to share with your parents. This is just incredible work.
You should be proud of yourself. Timmy, I'm pretty proud.
First of all, what time do our parents get here
and be don't patronize us, please, don't. You guys are
such sophisticated students. I believe your parents should be here
right at the I mean they might be already waiting outside,

(09:43):
but when classes over today, they're gonna come in and
look at all the work you've done this this year
so far. My dad is a mechanic. He doesn't get art,
but he's here. Oh everyone gets art. You just enjoy
what you see. It's it's it's it's human nature. I
love meeting people's parents because they seem to be like

(10:05):
the building blocks of the little person that you guys
are okay, parents, I'm persible atler as you know. Now
we're gonna be taking you into the classroom. Now. Just
a quick reminder, the kids put their hearts into these paintings,
a lot of finger paintings. Um, I'm sure I don't
have to tell you, but we want to keep this

(10:26):
night a positive night. Okay, I'm sorry. Oh gosh, we
got a lot of questions. Yes, what's going on here? Oh?
Please you after you madam? Oh, I'm sorry, but um,
I'm not a liar. So if I'm looking at something
and it's not what they're telling me it is, I'm
not gonna say, wow, beautiful tiger. If I'm just looking

(10:46):
at a lava nothing, you know what I mean? Show me,
show me the eyes, where's the nose, where are the whiskers?
Say something positive? Or say nothing at all? What are
we going with that? Yeah, perhaps it's that, Perhaps it's that.
Just you know, we want to keep the energy light, sir,
sir with with the accent here. Yes, and my profession
as well. If something is not correct, I have to mention.

(11:09):
It is part of my job. So I just want
to look that up up front. You're staring at my shirt.
Uh No, I was just reading it, so that's all
I was doing. I mean, I stand by what's written
on it. Yeah, well that's great. So yeah, okay, it's
a little I guess the children can't read that, so

(11:29):
though we should be Okay, all right, I'm gonna open
the room. As you know, the teacher is Mr. Elder
Regard and um you know, here we go. Hi, everybody,
look who it is. It's your favorite RD. Okay, okay,
So I just want to say it's been a pleasure
working with your kids. I've grown as much as they've grown.

(11:53):
We really are excited to show you our work. Daddy,
Danny kind Son. It's great to see you. Yes, it's me. Yeah,
I want to share you my painting. Okay, of course,
Mr Mr e Can I show my painting? Of course?

(12:15):
Of course. Um I can tell you the title, but
I don't want to tell you what it is. No. Honestly,
I think it's helpful if you do tell him what
it is, because sometimes it's easier to explain with words
than silence. That's what you said. We always say it's
easier to explain with words that this is an octopus

(12:37):
playing an oboe of violin and the drums and the
title is music under the Sea. I love it, son,
I see all of it. And let me tell you
instructor that in my job, Mr, Mr Elder God, in
my job, sometimes people explain things without using words. Sometimes
people come in and go, my engine makes this noise.

(12:59):
Grummmmmm grom and I have to deduce what could be
the possibilities of Uh. It feels a little like you're
you're judging me for having a Honda Civic. No, no, no,
not at all. Not just say it's the not the accord,
but it is. Uh, it is a Honda. Um. Just

(13:21):
you decided at some point not to get the leite
top model, the second model. But I will take a look.
Can you explain to me what's exactly going on? Yeah,
well it's cutting out a lot and uh, like, I
don't know if I'm flooding the engine or somebody suggested
online it could be a bad alternator online. Huh. I

(13:41):
mean we go for all the answers in the world. Yeah,
but I think when it when it conks out, it
kind of makes uh cod sound. Thank you right there,
you've narrowed down the problem. I'll be able to repair well,
you see, why don't we step aside for just a

(14:03):
moment so I could tell you a little teach your
parents secret, so you see what the thing is is
some of these kids do really trashy pictures. They're just awful.
But your kids got talent. You can see the oboe,
the violin, the octopus, right, so, and that's why sometimes
we explain it. Does that make sense? Yes, you didn't

(14:24):
need me to pull me aside for that. Let's step
aside for just one more second. We'll see. What you
don't understand is if I have a different setables for
your kid, it's going to be pretty transparent. Kids are
smarter than you think. Okay, don't be kind of sending
to what was that? Were you? Okay? What's when? What's when?
What's when's your parents? Which? When's your mom or dada? Well,

(14:50):
my my dad's not here yet, so I don't know.
I don't Okay, Well I like your picture. Thanks. Yeah.
I mean I've been inspired Picasso for a long time,
and sometimes I try to work outside the cubism and
just get to the Hey, um, i'm your dad's secretary. Yeah, uh,

(15:16):
nice to meet you. I'm here to check out your work.
So well, I'll tell you what weren't you just tell
him you liked it, you found some of it confusing,
and you don't have to really stay. Oh it's your mommy. No, no, no,
I don't. I'm so excited. Oh I don't have kids.
Oh it's your step mommy. It's uh, this is gonna

(15:40):
be wonderful. Have you showed her your artwork yet? Yeah,
let's not put a title on her. Yeah, let's just
make it clear. That makes sense, makes sense that here
I don't know, I don't know. Have you shared your
artwork yet? It's wonderful. He's actually refusing. He's actually withholding

(16:00):
his artwork from me, And that's not how I roll.
It's clear to see that you might not understand it,
but if you want to see it, sure it's over here, Grady.
That's the spirit there. It is Grady. I get art.
Let me just hate that. He just says I get art.

(16:21):
People who don't. But go ahead, okay, I think you
just can. I just have a little tiny secret time
with you. Just step aside a little bit. Grady's been
a real aspect. I don't know what the problem is
or whatever you'll talk about. Wish was asshole. It's a

(16:41):
big it's a big one. You can't do anything about this.
I can't do anything about this. I shouldn't even be here.
I should even be here. I should be doing clerical
work that gets me to move up the ladders so
that eventually I too can be a litigator. But you know,
not even family. No I'm not. You're not even family terry,

(17:02):
which also is sucked up because I'm illegal. And yet
he makes me agree. Okay, okay, I gotta get myself centered.
Oh it's a wonderful. Hey, can you make sure this
deposition gets over to to climb in facts? And how
did everything? Uh? Go with the with the kid? Uh? Yeah,

(17:26):
he's he does art. It's with his fingers and it's
pretty good. His teacher is a bit off the rails.
She wants to kind of talk with you. Um, but
I'd really rather talk about the defication because I actually
filed the taper work for it that I don't think
that you read yet. But um, is anything not clear
about the instructions I gave you? No? Um, your instructions

(17:50):
were clear. It's that I finished. Are you asking me
to give those instructions again? No, I'm letting you know
that I took initiative and I started to do extra
work on top of the work that I already finished
that you asked me to do, just to show you
that I am worth more than perhaps you see tell
me tell me your name again? Three years? Oh no,

(18:19):
look whose dad it is? I heard this guy as
an actual art critic. What do you mean? Well, I
think he does that for a living. I think that's
his job. He says bad things about our We're good
but probably mostly bad. Critic doesn't feel like as a
positive association with it. I mean, to justify your existence?

(18:40):
Do you have to put things down? I think, m hm,
where's my fucking kid? Where's my fucking kid? This isn't
gonna go. Well, where's your Where's where's your teacher? Oh? Hello,
I'm mr elder Gard. You must be here for the
teacher art show. Here's my card. I'm with the the Atlantic,

(19:04):
all right? Oh, I've read the Atlantic. This is what
you've read The Atlantic personally, what we talked to you
over here. For a second, it feels a little bit
kind of like you're judging me for only getting two
pieces into the Whitney Biennial. Well, I am judging you

(19:31):
fun face, and that's that's called for. No, it's not. No,
it's not if you do funk face work and get
two pieces only into the Whitney. Do you know how
many times the biennial happens? Um, it's either every two
years or twice a year. Sometimes these terms are confusing.
I wish words would just all right, Yes, it happens

(19:53):
every two years. It's very fucking fancy. So when you
get two pieces in, be happy about it, all right.
I saw you getting in Jeff Kuhn's face. Jeff con
is the guy who doesn't even do the actual fucking work. Hey,
anyone can make a balloon, all right, a metallic balloon.
I mean I did. I did both of these sculptures

(20:15):
and they did get into the Whitney Whitney Biennial. Yes, hey,
why don't you tell me one more time? Well, I
I just I just feel like you're being unnecessarily harsh, sir.
Did you see mine? Look at this? Look at this
young boy? This is this kid is five years old.
His work is right next to yours. That's not cool.

(20:41):
Look at it? Look at it? Are these are animals
under the sea? Tom? Why don't you explain it. Oh.
I know that you're a parent of one of the
students here, but uh, you can't just bring in these
statues and whoever this person is, um, uh, this is
a nude statue. We've children here and like it's art.

(21:02):
Can talk to you over her sing. Let's moving on
to see number two. And it comes to us from
listener Andre Durham. Hello, thank you all for existing suggestion
the newest Bond girl, Dolores from accounting. Thanks Andre. Did

(21:27):
you see Did you see this? They're they're doing a
cattle call. They're doing a cattle call for the new
James Bond movie. You know this internet flyer here? Oh
my god, that's not that's the first thing flyer I've seen.
Oh yeah, well, it usually goes to the spam of

(21:48):
people's emails. But I don't get emails. I may spam
my primary Dolores move moves, see let me see my
must be female. I'm out hot. No, I guess none
of us. I think. I don't think you realize that's
not that's not a casting call. They're looking for a

(22:09):
real secret agent. Look at that right up there. It
says for real. Oh yeah, at the top. Yeah, but
for real that's how you know it's real because it
says it's for real. I mean it's I wouldn't say
that if it wasn't but a waste to text. None
of this it means anything does anyway? Okay, we all
work in this office. None of us are so well actually, Dolores, Yeah,

(22:33):
I'm uncomfortable with this line of thinking. Well, I didn't
mean Dolores always has her hair up and has her
glasses on. So I just look at this if I
think if I take this hair down, Sorry, look at
I'm sorry. I'll go back to my cub the transfer.

(22:55):
If you not see the transformation moment and every motion
picture where the awkward, nerdy girl takes down her hair
and removes her glass, can you name one, She's all
that comes to mind. But listen, Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah,
but no one does it for her. I'm sorry, my bad.
I'll go back to my cubic clocks. Hey, I'll go

(23:17):
back to my cubicle. Do it for her in that movie,
like they give her a makeover, right, you know, but
no one man handles her head, do they? Especially when honestly,
I have such a sensitive scalp. Mr Bond Unfortunately, it's
been a little difficult to find a new bond girl,

(23:38):
as our internet flyers seems to be half casting call
half actual really, so people are getting confused. So please
forgive the the situation. You're not gonna kill me, are you.
I'm just no, of course not keep up the search
and um, I'll just do this next mission on my own.

(24:01):
But please, Mr bond was it was? It? Um? Not
right of me too when I was making this internet
flyer to ask for somebody to be hot? Is that
is that? That was? That was not personally I'm not
happy with the term bond girl either. But let's just
let's just have a name, you know, bring me every
you know, just just give her a name. Okay, every

(24:23):
bring you every Dolores in the country. My mother's name
is Dolores. So yes, let's let's go with that. Okay,
that builds, That builds a little more even and then
a little more uh safe. Listen, m you're in charge.
You don't need to test me. I just do that,
you know. I just I'm older and so I kind
of you know, confused with the way things anyway. This

(24:44):
is a pen. It blows up if you throw it
at somebody. Well, you're doing a ques job now is
that cue supposed to be? Um? Yes? Um, my name
is Dolores, right, you're all Dolores Is. Oh sorry, I'm
Dolores Clatorus. I'm here for the casting call. Okay, is it?

(25:07):
Is it? It pronounced Clitus? My last name is pronounced Clitoris. Okay,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh that's okay, Mrs Clatorus. What
was your what was your schedule? Time? Tot? I just

(25:28):
want you to know that I come early because early
is on time and on time is late in my world. Okay,
well we are we are going to go with time scheduled,
so you it is two thirty. Now you can go
on into the room. Mr Bond may Or may not
be there, but there will be an associate to help you.
Thank you so much, thank you. Hello. Hello, my name's

(25:54):
James Wonderful. My name is Dolores, Dolores Cloris, isn't it
my last name is. I'm just running the camera back here,
but I'm not sure it is this acting or is
this secret agent stuff like Terry? Just just record all right,

(26:15):
I'm hitting her card dude. Thank you. Sorry, I have
a seat. Mr lawis. We just have a few questions. Um,
have you ever done any secret missions? Well, one time,
uh my mom didn't want me to leave the house
because there was a hurricane, but it was the very

(26:37):
beginning of the storm and it was only a category too.
And I had a craving for a brownie thunder from
uh t G I of Fridays, and so I told
her I was going to Blockbuster to pick up movies
for the hurricane, and instead I went to t G.
I have Fridays and I had that dessert, and she
she was never the right. You've told me enough? Okay,

(27:00):
can I head stop? No, Terry, just all right, all right,
I'll tell you roll. Would you like my profiles? Without
you will actually be going through that door right there
to the right render. Let's go over this one more time.
When I said bring me the newest bun Girls the

(27:23):
way to torture Agent, I thought I was rather clear
which bard Were you confused? Well? Uh, first of all, boss,
You're you're hard to understand sometimes, you know, so you know,
sometimes it's just a it's addiction thing, you know. But yeah,

(27:47):
I think I got the message, like get the get
the new Bond girl. You don't like the way I
saw screwed up, disfigured face disturb you as well. It's
not great, you know, Like I mean, they didn't make
you that mask that that will cover like most of
your face. You know, it wouldn't hurt to keep it

(28:08):
on around the office. Well, how did I screw up
this time? Boss? I don't see the Bond oh? Um?
Yeah about that? Um? You know I kidnapped her, uh
last night, and then I got back to the warehouse

(28:31):
and everything was locked up like everyone everyone kind of
closed up got home for the night. And you know
it's because you know, I asked you for a key,
and uh, you know, jarity is crucial. I don't know
if I need that, Okay, but I am at the
warehouse a lot freeze right there, Mr Bond, Oh and Delorestores,

(28:56):
Now you're both gonna die. All I need is one
little bullet next to Yeah, oh very right, missus platoris
I expected this from Bond, but not from a Bond girl. Well,
I'm a woman at this point, okay, forty two years old, young,

(29:20):
forty two years young? And what will you do if
I just shoot you? Now? Well, I would dodge it
if you're giving me enough warning. In fact, I'm just
gonna grab the gun, right, and then you're just so
focused on that other thing. And so now I have
your gun, and I'm actually quite a good shot. I

(29:42):
used to go to the range with my father to
bond with him. We loved guns to bond with him.
I don't know. I think maybe I did defend to Laura.
She hasn't been back since I dropped her hair into
her glasses. You think I'm going to get in trouble?
Was HR? You're saying you're repped glitter is the wrong way.

(30:02):
I think maybe we should just like we should just
like use this as a learning moment. You know, I
said no one was hot in the office, and that's
not really cool either. That wasn't cool. Yeah, I guess
we've learned a lot o you too? Uh sorry? Um

(30:23):
oh yeah, you're fired? Oh all right? Uh Steve from
HR didn't want to come down. Just send me to
pass on the message, right, Okay, that that makes sense.
That makes sense. Okay, all right, so let me just
walk you up. Yep, are you too? Lis? I sent

(30:44):
you into be double agents and you've both got fired.
What you're saying, I got so lost in the role.
I didn't know what it was. It was hard and
which was up right? Well, then maybe you can get
into the warehouse and help them. Dumb three year I
don't gee, you have the keys? Uh am? I are

(31:06):
you gonna kill me if I say no? It's Bruno.
I'm stuck outside, Bruno. Why if you look brow in
p I'm on it. Yeah, I we'll see about that. Oh.
I hit my knuckle on the doorn. Oh wait, who's that?

(31:28):
Someone's taking Bruno? James Bond is here, boss, James Bond
is here? Facts defell for my trap? Let me wait?
We were all lures and you're using us. Yes, trout boys,
step aside. Found I found Claris Dolores taurus. It rhynds.

(31:53):
It shouldn't be hard anyway, I found her. It was
I was searching the longest time, plagued mankind for centuries.
My boy, you don't take it personally? Well, Mr bad
we needed These ropes are not going to be able
to hold me right? Why didn't I tell you my

(32:15):
evil plan before you get out of those ropes? Where
don't you usually have a mask that covers half your face?
Just really happy? I think I left it in the
car bos Yeah, thanks, thanks dum never mind, here's my plan.
Maybe maybe if you don't want to wear this brown

(32:37):
this brown paper back, we cut eye holes in. Yeah, yeah,
that's it. Cut I holds in. I don't take you
twenty minutes, as I always say, my plan, Mr articulate boss. Wait,
we lost the lories. We lost Mr Laturus. I don't
know where she is. I thought we had her. I
thought we knew exactly where she was. And I'm funny her,

(32:58):
I don't. I don't know where she is. Can we
just call her the button for short? I don't know
if we can do that. Well, you know, we we
were senting to the other office. We got canned for
saying things are less offensive than that, right, yeah, we
there's no hr were the bad guys sake now, ter Bun.

(33:20):
My plan was quite simple. I'm going to the ripened
shreds piece by piece so that you, you too, are unseeable.
Do you think I could get that in writing? Here's
a pen? Cool, Dolores. How was your weekend? It's pretty chill,

(33:45):
I am. I actually went to the movie theater for
the first time in a long time. Oh wow, fun yeah,
it was pretty good. What do you see, um, you
know one of those classic bad guys good guy spy
ish movies. Those are so unbelievable, but fun starts. Second

(34:05):
sing our. Third suggestion comes to us from Alcamaniac and
in zoom guest Mike del Rosso. Everybody, this is exciting.
Mike says, what's up you marry Ganga Pranksters scenes suggestion

(34:25):
Penultimate Frisbee Tournament heads on a swivel. Buttermilk Jones Penultimate
Frisbee Tournament. Yeah, I'd just like to practice before the
game starts, to get a little couple of tosses in. Right, Great, great,
And here at Frisbee Weekly, we were wondering if you
could tell us a couple of like of your secret

(34:48):
stretches or something that really gets you get your head
in the game. Listen, this is the semifinals, alright, the
penalty match of the year. Were four years defending champions
and everything that we do is a secret. Yeah, I'm
not gonna share any of our secret trips. That makes sense.
That makes sense. Hey, you can't blame the guy for asking, right, Yeah, Hey,

(35:09):
we love Frisbee Weekly. By the way, I gotta say
your June issue. The the centerfold issue was one of
our hottest selling I wasn't that that, Frisbee wasn't glued
to me. I was holding you. I heard, I heard,
I heard that is so hot, that you are so hot. Anyway,
go Flyers, uh and have a good Uh. You don't

(35:33):
have any more questions. I got one more. I see
if I can find it here. Are you? Are you single?
That's a good question. I am Oh. I know this
is weird, but I have a question for you, on

(35:54):
or off the record. On I'm listening, Are you single?
I am not. I am not because sometimes when you're young,
you make stupid choices, you know what I mean, and
then you go, I guess you know I'm here now,
and I gotta lock into this, you know, forever and
never and never until one of us dies. Fantasies might

(36:16):
come into the mind, but that doesn't mean you're gonna
do it, and you're not gonna act on them, you
know what I mean. So God Flyers, and let's go
get them semifinals. Alright, Good luck with your personal life.
Frisbee Weekly out Hey, I heard you talking about how
you were, you know, regret being married and stuff. But

(36:39):
I actually heard that, Yeah, I was your first month,
and I got Yeah, I'm Frisbee Weekly. We don't really
get along, not typically, not typically. I mean we curate
our work a little better, We take our time and
make it worth it. Well, we're on the fly. We
need it now. It looks rushed. But anyways, what I

(37:01):
was gonna say is I got a guy they can
take care of that dead weight problem you got. You
gotta pay in crypto to keep it on the d.
L I'm right here. Why don't you just introduce me? Hi,
Larry tam I'm with Frisbee Annual. So I have a
lot of time on my head, and this is the

(37:23):
guy who can do the thing. I can absolutely do
the thing, whatever the thing is. He's got time. He's
an annual. Quick question though, I've always had a hard
time buying the cryptok First of all, slow down, okay,
no reason for quick questions. You have a tough time
purchasing cryptos. Okay, what part is you do you find

(37:44):
in troubling? I think maybe we'll get to that later,
because is that is I need somebody to kill mine?
Oh God, Harold, I think that Robert's cheating on me.
What well, two henchman came into my apartment yesterday and
tried to murder me. But you know, I have really

(38:04):
strong thighs and I was able to always And why
else would he do that if he wasn't like into
somebody else, Like, why else would he hire somebody to
I don't mean you got to give him the benefit
of the doubt though, right, No, no, I'm not saying that.
I'm just saying that maybe there's a a more logical explanation.

(38:27):
I don't know, God Gerrold. It just makes me feel
so right, I just feel like a piece of ship.
I feel like an actual piece of ship. But at
the same time, it's like, fuck, if Beyonce gets cheated on,
like why not me? You know, and you're a strong
woman just like she is. I don't think it's strong

(38:49):
you can finish that smooth physically. I felt really strong. Yes,
you are. I mean the thighs in particular are just ridiculous.
You know what it is I've been Have you ever
seen Lost the Yeah? I think like you don't like

(39:10):
if you can't say yes with fer then the answer
is no, it's purgatory, right, I only watched the pilot. Sorry, boss. Uh,
well we got in there. Uh, but we we didn't.

(39:31):
We didn't kill her. I mean you didn't get it. Well,
Phil was Phil was in the lead, and so he
got in the front door. Um, and I said shoot
her and he said, I thought you had the gun.
And that's where that's where it was confusing. Is that
not an interview process by which you morons get ironed? No?

(39:55):
Hr is very thorough right. Yeah. So see still things
like I thought I had the gun but he had
the gun. That sort of thing can still happen. Yeah,
put your knuckles that both of us. Oh you guys

(40:17):
changed lots again. Tougher. Hey, wow, that was a really
good warm up. Guys. Uh, looking good out there, looking.
I actually did have a couple more questions. I forgot
to ask you for Frisbee Weekly. Um, listen, I just
gave an interview to Frisbee Monthly and Annual, so you
can just take it up with them, all right, Oh okay,

(40:37):
because it just feels like you maybe we want to
say a couple of things about Frisbee to us. That
wasn't a very good argument. I mean, are you here
to change your answer and then I'll what what what
are you crazy. This is the samer what what are we? What?

(40:59):
What we want to know? This is what game? Is?
This the champ not the championship, but the woman before?
What's that called? The ultimate? Is last? This is a
pen ultimate. So that's what we're dealing with here today. Yeah,
this is halftime right now. So it's halftime. We're in
the middle of the game. Frisbees are flying, hearts are flying.
You know, hey, pal, just wondering if you've got two

(41:22):
words for frisbee decade. We put a lot of time
and consideration into each issue. I'm actually in the middle
of an interview right now. Okay, we can wait. Hey, honey,
I'm I'm home. How did cow um cheryl? I know

(41:46):
she's cheating on me. I know what you're saying. He
has like a complete other life with some woman. I'm saying,
I'm taking a nap in the bedroom. The were closed,
of course, because you know, I like to like simulate
nighttime when I take my day. Yeah. Yes, he comes

(42:06):
home and another woman answers the door. She was her apartment,
she was there. I just had a bad day. I
just had a bad day. Maybe can you make a
cup of coffee? Babe? Sure, you know? Okay? Good? Where
is everything? Where do I make the coffee? Um? You

(42:27):
know what? I should just make it? Thanks for She
asked me where you woke me up to ask me?
And I was like, is this a dream? Is this heaven?
Is this hell? Like? What's happening? What is the bitch
even doing there? What is she doing there? What is
she doing there? Do you want the rest of smoothie? Or?

(42:49):
I can't even eat at this point? And you know,
I consider Bush. We were going to kill his his wife,
but when we came in there was two wives. I
don't know. I'm not killing two people. They're not You're
a up to that task killing both of them? As
a quick answer, that much, I just killing both? That

(43:10):
doesn't cross your mind. It just seemed a little confusing.
I was sent out to kill one person and then
there's two people both with them? Right? Come on? Because
I was like, what if they wanted us to kill
two but they only paid for one knowing we'd kill two? Money?
Is that it? Yeah? Yeah, boss? I didn't want it
to be about money. Okay, So let's say I don't know,

(43:34):
you're sending to a situation where you have an assignment
and that assignment is to find the dog and steal it.
But when you get there, there are five dogs. What
do you do? Do I have a cell phone? Yeah?

(43:54):
All right? Then I call right and I and I clarify,
is like, can you send me a a sure of
the dog you would like kidnapped? And then I would
then take that one dog. But if you got voicemail
when you call, I was texting this whole time. Okay,

(44:14):
all right, so I got voicemail. So if I got voicemail,
I would just wait. Maybe i'd wait ten more minutes. M.
Do I have to catch a bus or train or anything? Okay?
Would wait? Wait it out? Interesting call M. I've been
doing this. I've been this for a long time. Yeah, baby,

(44:35):
she's here too. So what you're not happy and I'm
not happy? I knew. I never said I wasn't happy.
You're making me unhappy right now with this, but before this,
I wasn't unhappy. Oh good, or okay, I'm sorry that

(44:57):
I can't wield a Ninja star or whatever the fun
she in those stupid ass movies. They're not stupid, and
I just want to say that I'm here for support.
You see what the issue is Cheryl, Yes, Cheryl, do
you everybody freeze? There's three women here. I just think

(45:20):
we should just kill them. We should just kill him today.
What a tiny star you are? Like to whoa frozen
strawberry chunks at the bottom. That's smoothie. They're piercing triangular

(45:42):
killed us. I don't know what to say. Listen, I
don't know what to say. You would know what to
say if you would have only have watched Lost and
I asked you to watch. I asked you to watch
that show. Everybody, WHOA. Let's take a second here and

(46:03):
thank everybody for playing. James Heeney, thank you. Tell us
what you're up to. Well, I'm still doing brief news
brief if you're looking for a brief take on the news,
don't forget to you know. And they come out every week.
And game Front tons of game Front video game stuff
on YouTube. Terrific. Craig Atkowski, thank you so much. What's

(46:24):
going on? Well? A Tool correctly used the word penultimate,
which means second to last. I think sometimes people are like,
it's the penultimate, like it's the ultra ultimate, but it
just means second to last. And also, uh if if
it's a frisbee. It's a registered trademark of WAMO. Otherwise

(46:44):
it's just a plastic flying disc. Oh my god, I
know that, Jackie de Ruthie. Did you know that? Absolutely not.
I don't even know what WAMO is invented the frisbee. Yeah,
I love that. That's a fun fact. Thank you for

(47:04):
that fact. Thank you for having me play as well.
What a great day of course A tool sing Bud, Yeah,
thank you for him. It's always so much fun. You
can people can follow me at a tool time on socials,
and I have to give credit. And the reason I
know that regarding penultimate is because of a Zach Sermons

(47:25):
song I believe called Super Penultimate or something like that,
which is the third to last. Oh, and a tool
Are you gonna? Are you gonna sleep today? I know
you've been traveling. I'm actually gonna try to stay up.
The goal would be to stay up till the night.
That way I get back into a sleep cycle. Smart
and I mean Kevin Pollock, thank you for joining us

(47:49):
in the middle of day. So great, so great. I
I only know the third to last is anti penultimate.
I only know that because of poker. People are very anxious.
What the last hand of the night. Have you've been
playing for hours and hours and ever present and occasionally annoying,
Sam Levine will say this is the penultimate, and then

(48:11):
earlier he would have said this is the anti penultimate.
I believe, I believe Craig will back me up on that.
Um And yeah, no, this was great because I did
not think I would get any time with you all
today based on work schedule here in the New York City.
And Chris was lovely enough to uh jump at the
chance to uh to I say host, I don't say guests,

(48:34):
come on your host, all right, yeah, come on, And
uh this is my first time as as just analochemist.
Um and uh and I had I had a blast,
and I feel I was completely off my game and
it was really enjoy to watch the rest of you
from a from a different perspective. Uh not the clock.

(48:55):
Uh that is different. That is different. Yeah, it's a
weird kind of pressure. Um, but yeah, this is great fun.
I love you all. We love you. Enjoy the rest
of your time in New York. And let's also thank
our two in zoom in studio Alcmaniac Guess, Paul Hatton
and Mike del Rosso. Thanks for being here, gentlemen, everybody else,
if you want to, you want to give us a shot,

(49:17):
you know, meet us at that alca maniac level Patreon
dot com, slash alchemy. This also, while we are thinking people,
let's think our engineer and producer to the stars, Mr Dougan,
and the fine folks at I Heart Media. I have
been your host, Chris Alvarado, and I thank you for

(49:37):
listening and until next time.