Calendar Man

Calendar Man

Multi-level marketing schemes

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to another episode What about Me Spoke nineteen edition.
I'm your host, Kevin Pop. Yes, Kevin Pop. Oh yeah,
what can you try me tomorrow? At this time, I'm
kind of in the middle of something, but I digress.
Let's meet our chums. Shower you no particular order. Please
say good morning to Gary Eye and a great morning

(00:24):
it is. It's a great morning. If you actually saw
Sam entering your home to the chimney, what would you
How would you greet him if he was entering my
home through the chimney? I would literally say, Hi, Hi,
this is what I do. I've had six break ins
at my home in the last weekend. Everyone's a hello,
everyone's a gentle high. My hat is off to you. Hey,

(00:48):
it's James Heeney, Jimmy John John utterly selfish wish please
from you for I would really like uh to have
new floors put in my apartment so that you can't
hear footsteps. Is that too selfish? It's I hope that

(01:08):
there's a lot of unbelievably sweet Agree with Chris because
it's really helping your landlord. And there's Chris Alvarado, Candy Cane,
Chris utterly selfish rush from you, please, utterly selfish? Would
what I'm looking for? All the roles that Craig was
set to book go to me. He doesn't get any

(01:32):
of them. No, no, no, So you get to hurt
one of us too. That's right. Oh, by the way,
speaking of hurting one of us, um, my girlfriend peeked around.
I said, look it's Gary, it's Gary Anthony Williams. And
she goes cute and it's the hair. It's goddamn Barbados. Yeah. Right,

(01:57):
Jamaica and now Craig Atkowski with his consumer report, Thank you, Kevin.
America is buying more radios AM FM specifically AM and
more radio stations are popping up. Let's check the safety

(02:18):
of them. The answers may surprise you. Safety of them
them and last, but too much egg nog for you
if you think at least it's Joey Greer. Come catch
your five thousand. Tell us why we should invest in
your invention. I'll tell you why right now. Because you

(02:39):
want to make money. You're a dumbass idiot, right, you
want to make big bucks? Right? Invest right because this
is where your money's gonna grow. Okay, this is a
guarantee invest right. So if I don't want to be
a dumbass idiot and investing, let's do a damn show.

(03:01):
All of our scene suggestions are gathered from your listener
emails or from our patron v I P s to
become a patron support of the show and enjoy exclusive
content on all other perks, like video of what's happening
right now, just head on over to patreon dot com
slash alchemy this is If you'd like to seb medaicine
suggestion by an old timey email, then damn it right
to the podcast. Just email us at your name here

(03:23):
at alchemy this dot com. It couldn't be simpler. It's
your name here. Scene one, and it's a long one
comes from patroon v I P. Mike del Rosso. We've
not heard from Mike and a wall and here goes
hello to Kevin and the Alchemist. I would like to
thank you for your December seventeenth episode. I usually catch
your pod just minutes after it drops. Waking up at

(03:46):
five am, it's the perfect amount of time to wipe
the crust from my eyes, broke out of coffee, get
ready to do some paperwork from the shower of the
parking Lot Alchemy. This is my soundtrack. On the seventeen,
I had to work at six am. I was unable
to follow my tradition, and it might have saved my life.

(04:07):
When the workday was over, I was safe at home.
I pulled up the latest episode and began to listen.
I can tell right away there was strange energy in
the air. Now more than I lost my spot. Now,
oh God, of all the ones that we bought it,
now more no more than two minutes out of the pot,
I was already in stitches. I have never laughed at
hard during the intro to the show. Not to say

(04:29):
the intros aren't always funny. When Kevin yells at James though,
for his opening response to the routine silly question, I
knew the gang was feeling feisty. There was a strange
energy in the air. I am halfway through this. Something
special was about to happen. I don't think I've ever
laughed so hard in an episode. I've been on board
since the beginning. I've heard them all three times over.

(04:50):
I've been one of those that's had to pull over
when driving for fear of crashing. Absolutely one of the
best to date. The night before this episode aired. It's
snow ten inches in my town. The roads were atrocious
during the morning community. I swear to you, Kevin and
those of you who were there during the recording. If
I had been driving while listening to this episode, as

(05:12):
I normally do, it would have been the end of
my story. You were all the best who days and
Thursdays my favorite days because of you. Here come the
shout outs, missing Vanessa, loving the limited return, much love
to Caroline Connor. You make me laugh so hard. I
will donate half my paycheck if Gary Anthony Williams makes
a regular appearance, well, gare that half of his paycheck

(05:37):
right back to him because I'm giving. He followed that
with love you uncle Ruckus, thank you, thank you man,
and do you Kevin, You're beautiful Pastord. Thank you for
bringing this group of rag and muffins into the dim
light of podcasting. The truly is no equal to what
you all have created. Now, will you please to one
of my suggestions? And then he has a suggestion. Over

(05:58):
a year ago, there was a scene suggestion about Batman
and Robin's looking for a new apartment. James was so
upset that the alchemist wouldn't recognize calendar Man as a
superhero that he walked out of the session. Could you
please make a little boy's dream come true? Show me
calendar man? Wow? Uh? Name an occupation please? I'm a chronographer, right,

(06:26):
you can call me Tim, all right, Tim? And your
occupation is following the passage of time? Is that about it? Yes?
And marking each and every holiday is special upon the calendar,
every every holiday, not just in one nation, all holidays today?

(06:52):
What's today? Well, it's December, so it's Christmas Eve Eve?
Oh who celebrate? Study? Tim? Well, I do, I do?
And I'll tell you what. There's a couple of bodies
buried in the back. I'm sure, I'm sure that there
could have remember this day, couple bodies buried in the

(07:14):
back of what sir? I can't say, you can't say,
or you won't say, I won't say. Okay, here's forty
dollars now, gee whiz Batman. Isn't it crazy that every
year we have to reregister superheroesild? Is? It absolutely is?
Robin to paperworkplace? Oh, Batman, I was in front of you. Okay,

(07:39):
you can go, you know, you know what. It's a
special day Robin, it's Christmas Eve Eve. Here you go
ahead and go oh thanks, okay, everything here correct? Just
the right address? I don't know. Batman fills it up. Okay, sirs,
is everything correct? Your addressed is that's the correct address,

(08:02):
wayne manor okay? Now do you have your your T
four form T four it's to register the name again.
If not, your name is open for anybody to take.
The guy behind you could be Batman if you wanted to.
If you don't have your T four forms, do we
have the T four form? I didn't bring the T
four form, Robin, did you bring the T four form?

(08:23):
Holy namesake, Batman? I didn't know, boy boy wonder more
like somebody give me something, somebody give me something. Yeah,
that's yeah, that's pretty good. That's it. Yes, you're more
of a boy blunder. How about you to check ost
episode and that's the real Batman's peak. Oh, I've got

(08:44):
a T four form. Here it is, here's Batman. Who
are you? Yes, I'm nobody. Now I didn't have my
TEA four bye boy, hold on, hold on now. Now
he's spelling this with as two different words, bat space Man,
what's the point. I'm just saying there could be a batman,
and there could be a bat man. That's a right,

(09:06):
Jesus Christ. I'm bad space man. Okay, I'm out of here,
bye boy. Well what about me? Is Robin still available? Uh?
It is? It is? But you don't have your tea
four or form either. No, but one of these, one

(09:27):
of these bad space man. Okay, can you get Can
you think anybody wants Robin to be honest? Hey, little dude,
you look, I don't want to think here of myself.
Please you look at me. Somebody's word? Yeah, oh yeah,
all right? Putrian in my back bucket. Okay, leave it?
There is it? What come with me? Are we all

(09:52):
done here? Okay? Evil villains? You race time as we
know it. No more days, no more weeks, no more months.
I'm just a little concerned as somebody that's kind of

(10:15):
a keeper of times of sorts. Maybe I have a
different grasp of it than you, but we exist inside
of talk. Get Well, it's a construct, is it not, Tim? Tim?
You seem to be disagreeing with what we're doing here. Well,

(10:36):
I'm just concerned if we destroyed time that well, I
don't exactly know how we're going to I cherish time. Honestly,
it's a celebration for me. I'd like to maybe just
us control time. Contron tank Solomon Grundy confused. Well, well,

(10:58):
you see, if if we are to destroy time, then
well it would cease to flow, and well then we
would probably be I imagine frozen in a moment. Miowo,
mie cat, pss cat. What's on the table today? We

(11:23):
robbing the bank? We were impact to get rid of time,
and then tim had and I should I say the
word idea? Mio mia? How can pussy woman doesn't have
to be here when the rest of us are? Well?
She she she's working on being more punctual. And this

(11:45):
is a great example of time. Maybe if you had
better control of time, you would be here on time.
Answer a question for me, please a riddle? Perhaps it
is not an evil layer. It's not really a riddle,
just a quite this is not evil layer. Was there
a space between those or was that just one word?

(12:07):
The point is we're bad. Let me see your bad.
Basis bad means to disrupt the good. So we open
up in there. Who's that space open? Is this a
shared office? Yes, it's shared office space. To me, one second,

(12:30):
can you keep it down in there all right, I'm
doing calls in the other room. Hey, why don't you
get one of those new flows how your apartment? And
then you wouldn't mabe to hear us. Oh, we're trying
to do big things here, sir. Well, I am doing
big things in the Okay, I mean a hundred fifty
dollars last month? Alright? What funk with me? Okay? Good day?

(12:55):
The good Day's Tim Tim? He said he made a
hundred and fifty thous last month. If we can do
this control time that you think you can do, then
did we go back and take that money that he
made last Sure? Honestly, it's a lot about organization and
taking good use of your time. Waking up early only

(13:16):
sleeping whoa wow wow waking up early. Well, that's one
way to control time, as he just sees all of
it that you can't, Bros, Bros, open up, yes, sir, yes, yes, yes, yes.
It stinks in here? What the fuck? Shooting on the floor?

(13:36):
Bruise a little bit. Oh look, you got to get
your act together. Man. Too late, I lost the title.
I didn't have a T four no longer. What I'm
here talking about? Okay, the city is on fire, and
what's in a name? Huh? You suppose you're right? But
I didn't have the T four. There's two other Batman's

(13:58):
out there. There's a bat spaceman and then a batman.
And am I going to be? What are you going
to be? I'm walking away from here, And I saidggest
you think a look in that cracked mirror of yours
and you figure it out because this city needs you.
Do you see that the channel the floor brut wages.

(14:20):
I'm as we should say something as we could sell
them bru okay, Tim, your next um hm, So you
have your TEA four form? I sure do. I'm a

(14:43):
very organized person. It's here. You want to be known
as calendar man? Is that correct? That's I've that's I've
been calendar man for many years now. I believe that
I'm within the registration time. It should be just there's
the T four. It's okay, it's sixteen dollars please, okay,

(15:05):
and I'm just gonna pay cash. I don't really want.
Is this where I go to register a new sidekick? Yes? Yes, okay,
I filled out the form here. It's for Robin. I
don't know if you understand this, but there's a line
and Spaceman, you idiot. Sorry Spaceman, calendar man, here you go,

(15:29):
three four change, Thank you Sam, superheroes the stakes. These
guys just caught up in front while I'm still working. Well,
if you're really in control of time, then why don't
you stop him from cutting in front? Cigarettes? Those are

(15:51):
cigarettes from the other end of the galaxy. Okay, so
we have bat Spaceman and you're registering Robbins. That correct, Yes,
but we're gonna spell it with two bees and an apostrophe.
My head hurts. And that's scene one. Whoa see two

(16:14):
comes from Kyle, who wrote it blows my mind how
many people get broken into multi level marketing schemes. They
pop up on Facebook and you thought they were pretty,
but you thought they were better than that, did we?
But people still believe the world is flat. Who on
the cast believes the world is flat? My guess is Greatosky.
Here's my suggestion inside multi level marketing scheme. Greetings Kyle

(16:39):
McVeigh from Huntsville, Alabama. Now listen, guys, trust me in this. Okay.
My buddy's gonna pop over. He's just gonna talk to
us for a bid and then we can watch the game. Okay,
So wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, your buddy's gonna
talk before the game. Yeah, he's gonna come into halftime.
The game's about start. I know it's not gonna take long.
It's not gonna take long. Let I mean, he's the

(17:00):
one that got all this appeer right, yeah, can you
get some more at least? I mean, I'm willing to
listen to the guy. I don't want to come off
as a dumbass idiot. That's the day, No way, no way.
As when you watch the game, because it's a really
big game. So of course, of course I'm a lot
of steak of the game today. You mean I don't
I don't mind like just listening to the game, but

(17:20):
I'd rather watch the game. So yeah, if you can
watch the game, I agree. I would agree with Mikey.
Huh true. Oh sorrybody, it's all those hundred dollar bills
everywhere part of me day in the food. Now you
can keep those. You can keep those. Wait, just came
out of his nose. That's amazing. He've been tested. Oh yeah,

(17:45):
I've been tested past great Yeah sporting okay, alright, turned
down the game let's hear what this guy has to say.
So obviously Bob is a friend of yours, and Bob
was a friend of mine. Was up, Bobby, boy? Here
hit it up? Here we go sometime and jump. And

(18:14):
I already trust him, I mean literally, just as hand
give makes me trust this guy. Whatever you gotta sell, buddy,
I'm in. Look, man, it's not about what I've got
to sell. It's about what you've got to buy. Have
you thought about it that way? Everybody? Sir, you serve?

(18:38):
What do you think? You think? You like? Yeah, we
got hats man. I guess he's talking to all of us.
I don't know. James just stored in the game. Yeah,
for some reason. I don't even care about the game anymore.
I wish I had a gun or a knife if

(18:59):
I choose as have the television. I hear what this
guy has to say. Okay, then I like you give here?
May give it up? Oh okay, Okay, I'm feeling No. Hey,
I don't think I don't think he started yet. My wife,

(19:22):
h where is Bob? We've been separated for a while,
so I don't bob, Bob two things banging your wife?
And when is this fucking guy, gonna start already with
the thing you wanted us to hear before we watch
the fucking game. Hey, my man, you don't gotta tell
me you're banging my wife. I know that, Okay, that's
why I said it. Can we hear the thing alright? Because? Okay, stranger,

(19:46):
who's coming to our weekly gathering? When we watched the
big fucking game? What's up? Open your phone, man, open
your email. Holy sh it, you'll see two dollars with
this transfer to your account. How is this happening? Because
it's already begun. We're in it. Just the boy, that's

(20:11):
my face. I don't see it in mind. There's an understood,
an underscore, dude, I just got two hundred dollars sent
to me. Man, what what the fund is this? It
should accept it? No, don't accept just those scamps. You

(20:35):
Look if somebody send you two hundred how much was it? Dollars?
Somebody send you that you accepted? Why wouldn't you? What's
the worst second happening? Haven't you ever had it come
for like a print over stas and they're just trying
to get your account to withdraw money. Don't take it? Okay, guys,
can we stop talking about this? We gotta run a play.

(20:55):
It's third and long? Okay, Well where do I put
my phone? And yourself? Tie and three? That's okay, don't
tell them that? Why what you? And so? You see
here all the arrows are pointing green and they're pointing up. Okay,

(21:19):
that's good. It's a good sign. So do we need
what do we need to do? I mean, everything you've
told me so far, including the complicated handshakes, I bought into.
What do I need to do? Now? You probably don't
want to hear that part? Come not just money with

(21:44):
the hat? You got any questions? Which are you? I
feel like you don't believe me? No, him, he knows
what I'm talking to. I don't believe you. What's going on? Nope, Nope,
not you him Steward. Okay, well, I mean he really
doesn't believe He really doesn't believe you. But I'm what

(22:06):
you would call skeptical. Okay, what part of multi level
marketing don't you understand? My man? I think it's the
marketing part, Like I'm pretty confident about the other two
parts the M So when's the last time you check
your phone? I'll wait, check your phone, dude, check your

(22:30):
look at your email. Okay, I got the email. I
got it. It's such it But what I want I
would like to go to the bank and verify it
like trust but verify man interception. Yes, sir, you have
an account here? Yeah, if you could. I just want
to just check to make sure that that account has

(22:51):
the same amount of money is my cell phone? Just
swipe your card? Okay. Got an email that said five
hundred thousand dollars in your account and I'm not sure
it's thought you have a balance of five thousand dollars. Uh,
I'd like to can I can I withdraw that money? Absolutely, sir,

(23:14):
it's your money here. You are gee Willikers Batman. I
can't believe we're gonna be posit such a huge email,
bat Spaceman. Sorry, can you get that right? Yeah? I'm sorry. Hello,
welcome guys. Can I help you? Do you have a lighter? Oh? Yes,
of course I do. This is a bank. Can't he

(23:35):
can't stop smoking this kid? Yes? Uh? We uh, we
just want to we want to check our ballots. Very good,
and may I have your Just swipe your card okay
by bat space cards? Okay, what looks like you have

(23:57):
seven and eighty thousand dollars. Wait what seven and eighty
thousand dollars? H okay, Robin, yeah, just so fun is he?
Sarah's he? Okay, it's your child. Okay, he's not my child, alright,
any beef jerky jerky, sir, it's a bank here. Just

(24:21):
one second, there's a bull beef jerky right in front
of you, idiot. How much longer are you Jacko's gonna take.
I gotta check my balance. I think we're done. We'll
have a great day, sir. All right, thank you for
your help, thank you for the jerky. So I think
I am done here. Bob, You've been great, dude, Thanks
for hosting everybody. I still don't have it. So there

(24:48):
should be an underscore between my person last who's faulty
thing is? I know you're gonna say mine Poorsha. When
our child is born, promised me one thing. He will
have my dad's middle name underscore. If we don't say
this child underscore, I sweat to god I will kill

(25:09):
myself in front of everyone who works at my job.
I don't think if that's I don't think the threat
is necessary. It's done. I just wanted to know how
serious I was about and I appreciate that. And I
love you. His middle place, I know you do. His
middle name will be underscore. Thank you, Poorsha. Can we
make love good please? Did you see that email that

(25:31):
DINNI sent out? What the hell is that about? It
was gonna off himself in front of everybody if he
he didn't get that name. I'm sure he's just trying
to make a point. Yeah, well, I know he's a
very serious guy. He makes he makes really solid points.
I didn't get it. Am I not on the thread?
Am I not on the threat? That's all I mean.
I don't know he sent the email out, so I
don't know there's there's an underscore my name be spelled out,

(25:55):
spelled out. I know that he is a big fan
of yours. I do know that, really, absolutely is. I
remember last week when he said that they didn't have
folders crystals in the break room, that he would kill
himself in front of his wife and his newborn baby.
Folders African American folders, African American crystals. Yeah, and that

(26:17):
is seen too, So it wasn't really a scheme after all.
It was just hundreds of thousands of dollars. That's see
three Coast of patron v I P Crispy I A

(26:39):
I A I always right AI? Yeah, yeah, but it's I.
Oh hi, Kevin and fellow chemists. Sorry that my last
suggestion was crap. I thought it was all right, but
I was clearly wrong. Maybe if I try and make
this one crap, it will make cut new scenes. Suggestion

(27:02):
snail mail, You're welcome, Crispy I A. Now is Crisp
I A mocking me because it's AI And I've always
been making a mistake by I A saying I A
because she who I think Chris Alvarado knows this person's
real name? She did? Um right, Chris B I A.
I don't know what's going on. I think it's Crispy

(27:24):
A I. I think that's what it is. Yeah, you guys,
I don't. I am flammast is flammox um? Okay, Well,
I'm gonna hold up to the screen because I want

(27:48):
everyone watching. I want everyone watching. Yeah, is the suggestion
snail mail or snile mile? Yeah, I'll kill yeah. Um.
I will look it up at some point and hold
it up to the camera. Okay, I don't totally believe
I do but mind blown. I don't understand what's happening.

(28:11):
I'm not sure it's a good thing. We don't add
to the show, all right, snail, ma'am, ball, get come in,
Come in? Just like this doorbell. I love the way
it sounds. You don't have to end it then if
you don't want to, sir, But if you like to, Sara,

(28:32):
you can come in. No, please feel free to stay,
stay on the front door step. And just how all along?
How long have you lived here? Fifty two years? I
thought it would been a long time. This storbell has
not changed him that time? Am I right? It is
written into the original manuscript for the house sale that

(28:52):
the doorbell should always remain the same. Well, what would
you say if I told you? For nine dollars? And yeah,
I can replace it with any sound you'd like. Sure,
the doorbell is supposed to remain the same. It's written
in the original manuscript of the house. Sa I understand.

(29:12):
Let me play you a couple of samples and see
if something doesn't strike your fancy. Hello. Hello, I literally
love that sound. Not I'm in love with it, and
if I if I could make look to it, I would.
But in the house manuscript. I have to keep the

(29:35):
doorbell as the same or else or else, he comes back.
Oh that sounds ominous as hell, Steve in my office.
Please listen, your job is to deliver the mail, not
sell this uh doorbell, whatever the fuck it is you

(29:55):
think you're doing with the side gig. Okay, you understand
what I'm saying. First of all, I don't know where
you're getting this from. What, Who's telling you? Who? Who's
telling You're gonna these singing assholes? Tim? Jesus Christ. You
hit that note so beautifully. This is my regular speaking us.

(30:19):
I love it. I love it. I love it. But listen,
they sing and they sound great, and I'm an asshole
who's trying to sell to I Just deliver the mail.
That's what I do. Okay, okay, because listen, we are
under I don't need to tell you this under a
lot of pressure here. I do know that. And let
me just say this to that. You know that tone,
that register of your voice that you have right now?

(30:41):
What if they told you for nine dollars you could
change that tone and register to any sound you want?
My voice exactly. Your voice can sound like this, Steve,
I don't know what the hell is going on my door.
But but you said that acapella group is going to
be or seven and no one's no one's here, Okay.

(31:04):
I pay a monthly fee for those guys to come
over here, and like, you know, yeah, I'm gonna thank
you for that. You're saying people have rung the doorbell
and the acapella group has not been because there's nobody here.
I'm talking to you, Steve, there's no acapella group here.
There's okay, but does anyone ringing the doorbell? Because that's
the show, Steve, I can't hear it. Did you really

(31:28):
think the acapella group was gonna stand on your porch?
That's what you sold me on. That's what you said.
You said you're gonna hear this beautiful sound every time
someone rings the doorbell. Every time someone rings the door,
just a guy passing by. Oh hi, Hello, gentlemen, just
passing right there, stranger, Hi, just passing through, nothing, nothing

(31:48):
going on, pushing through us. What do you do? Good
day to you? Just well, I have a little habit
of coming in and ding dong dashing people's doorbells. And
I thought, you, Steve, you know this guy I don't
you don't mind, I'd like to ding dong bash the doorbell.
I don't mind, Larry. I'm right then, I guess I'll

(32:12):
go on to the next place. Then goodbye, gentlemen. Larry,
that was great. You just sent that guy away. Yeah, Steve,
what the hell was that? I knew that thing? Capella? Guys,
all right, who's supposed to be I don't understand, Boston.
What do you mean we're we're gonna check down the
entire postal service. Well, it's just that it's taking so

(32:35):
long to deliver. I don't know what people are doing.
We're supposed to walk up to the door, put the
envelopes in the mailbox, and then walk away, but these
are taking forever. In fact, we're so backed up on
mail that we've decided just to shut it down and
said it all through. I'm sorry, don't say we're through privatized,
don't say I'm not gonna label them. I'm not gonna

(32:58):
get anything we can do to save it. I mean,
I guess if you were able to really put to
the bus so certain enough, just sell it's for the

(33:21):
town's local sing along. If you win it, the prize
money is enough to keep the natural book. Let me
see that paper, give that to me. Okay, oh man,
my chest is kind of the town. Ladies and gentlemen,
Welcome to the town local sing along today. We've got

(33:41):
several groups out here who are going to literally and
figuratively sing their hearts and lungs out today. Gets a
hunk of money enough to shave any floundering industry. Now,
we got the New Zealand team coming in here. Now

(34:02):
they're the villains. Let's just get out there and say
it all right. I never met a New Zealander that
I cared for. They're very large boned people, are they
They're huge. They're huge. It scares me in a way
that is, uh, that's real. Yeah, I really yeah, I
can see that. I really get picked up. And after
the New Zealanders, we're gonna have some people from the

(34:23):
United States Postal Service. Wow, they say that again? I
thought they went under. No, say that again. I thought
they went under. No. I just wanted you to say
that again. I used to do with Mike. No. No,
I was when I say it, say that again, I
thought you were gonna say I wanted you to say

(34:46):
that again. Oh boy, what a day it's gonna be
can't wait, ladies and gentlemen. To my left, I have
Team New Zealand ruggers. I don't like them. And to
my right, I have Team United States Postal Service, and

(35:15):
each group thirty seconds to sing their hearts and lung sound.
Team New Zealand begins. Now, hey, that's New Zealand. That's

(35:43):
how they did it. Tribal tribal fields. Now uh, I
don't need to remind you all, but I will. The
prize money here will be enough to save any floundering industry.
So like, hundreds of millions of dollars is what it's
gonna be, even these industry, even the cruise industry. Look

(36:04):
out of here, good car cruise. He's got virus. I
want to hear just at least five industries that it
could possibly say. I mean me too, I want specifics
still going Brooklyn jaw. We can't expect him to answer

(36:27):
with a broken jaw forgive us no, But we can't
expect him to write those things down and somebody else
will be able to read him again. Well, we can't
expect for him is to write down for someone else
to read it. Once again, I wanted you to say
there's the thing I used to do with my child.
And if I say, you can say that again, you're
still We can't expect him to do is write it down.

(36:48):
Have somebody else say the word that you say that
say that. Ladies and gentlemen, the United States, we're going
postal doom boom boom. We're gonna shoot you in the face.
We're going to post We're gonna mess up the place

(37:11):
were everywhere we're going keep you want to mail deliver,
but today there's just something that all postman have to say.
Just make sure that the knob is turned on your
dough when we were come and throw your mail loud
over the flow. We don't deliver everything that we say

(37:33):
we will. Sometimes you like to steal your gas bill.
So if you let twisted it does not come on,
you can blame it on us. Come out on, come out.
We're okay. The judges up in the booth are talent.
Seat the jaw. I gotta somebody sucker punched me. I

(37:55):
didn't see it and my weight was going into the punch.
Was one of those ones where I was walking that
way or ready, that's the words me up. Anyway, The
guys in the booths are scoring these on three different categories.
One's originality, second is um tone, and third is move.
We were only given fifty seconds and U to hold

(38:19):
like one a total sold shut up, just hit the right,
we'll send it to the booth now. I gotta admit
I liked what the postal people were doing there. They admitted,
they admitted, they admitted their faults in there. Something. I've
had my power shut off many a time. No I

(38:42):
know why, but they said they're going to throw your
mail all over the floor right. I don't know if
that was just for the rhyme or if that's actually
a threat. I took it as a metaphoric for a
minute for but then that Keyweeks held that note. I

(39:02):
don't think so good. I just don't try. I don't
trust New Zealand think we used that term anymore. And gentlemen,
we have a special celebrity UM who will be announcing
the calendar man Lias, and gentlemen, calendar stop time and

(39:22):
then something couldn't you stop time and then started again
in such a way that it doesn't even matter that
you just did it. I don't think you'll understand what
I do. I don't stop time. I tracked time. I
make you candy envelope. Can we just get the results

(39:45):
of the contest? Can we get Are you sending it
via Snido Mayo, Snido Mayo? I am not sending it me.
I'm gonna read it right now here in this I'm
gonna read it with your lives. Is this Is this
the only record of who wins and who loses? Yeah,
it's just it's one tea in the other. Well, then

(40:07):
come stop right there, calendar man, stop right, it's me
bat space man. Stop stop? Do you stop right there?
Bat space man? I checked your tea four form. You

(40:28):
said you live in unit two and actually you live
in unit six. That makes this Nolan void? Are you
gonna get me on our technicality when I'm out? Tried
to apprehend a villain. Now, somebody just turned those in.
You might remember him. His name is Bruce Wayne Leades
and gentlemen otherwise known as that's right, bank Robbin. I'm

(40:49):
gonna drop that extra being that a pastry free from
your name to the same Robin you've always been the
only cigarettes. Of course I have cigarettes. I worked at
a bank for nems younger. Okay, he's not so serious.
And now would you like me Batman to read the

(41:09):
winner of the All right, let me quickly catch calendar
man there? Got him? I used a battaser. Oh my god,
can we get this week? We get a load like that, Batman?

(41:29):
Calendar Man, he just looks like he's breathing. I think
he tastes him too hard. Did I kill him, Robin?
I don't know, I don't. I want to thank both
of you for showing up for the funeral for calendar Man.
I don't know where if you were related, we weren't
expecting much of a crop too. I'm sort of related

(41:52):
to him. I'm the man who killed him. Well, then,
perhaps you'd like to speak on his behalf. I didn't
know him personally. Yes, Um, he didn't run. He didn't
run nearly as fast as he could have run. Ah,
if only that's robbing? You got anything? Because I don't

(42:15):
get Yeah, yeah, I'll say something. Um uh. He was
a good guy. Uh uh. And that's our show for today,

(42:35):
yeah baby, Yeah. Christmas Charity, each and every damn one
of you, Harry Nathaniel, Harry bows it up and maid
Oh yeah, Holidays. A little bingre bingle there for you.
Thank all the alchemists for showing up and giving the
love and making the magic here, starting with Mr Joseph Greer, Joey,

(42:58):
thank you, Happy, thank you, Happy holidays to you. I
hope it's not a lump of close Stratton in your
stocking again. Now we've taken too many chunks with that man.
He needs to heal, right, and anything you'd like closing
out here in the wrap up folks to know you know,
just okay, great Chris Alvarado. You know I think Joey

(43:25):
hit it right. I think I think cold Stratton needs
to heal. Yes, that's and furthermore yes, nope, Sorry, Gary,
Anthony Whams, thank you so very damn much, and happy
holidays to you and yours. You have made my Kwanza.

(43:46):
Thank you for that. Thank you for Greig Atkowski, all
the best. Just looking forward to one. Even if I
get fifty check avails and losing all that Larado, I'm
still a happy Yeah. And also please thank Carla for
texting us during the show. I actually enjoyed the hell
out of that. Yeah. She was disturbed by some of

(44:08):
my lines out of context, you know, I think it
was the screaming of what you were saying, and and yeah,
yeah it must have been disturbing on her when she
hears the episode, So that's a great presumption. Yeah, Dr
James Heeney, thank you so very much, pal love you
missed you, Thank you. I love you all and miss

(44:29):
you all. I would say it's a brand new year.
You could start off doing things right by putting the
right foot forward, going to iTunes and rating Alchemy this.
I mean, my preference will be five stars, but whatever
your hearts, if you've made it this spart not, it
shouldn't be I mean a five star ratings all. I'm

(44:51):
really looking for the new year. Thank you, James. That
was very damned sweet of you and honest. How about me? What? Yeah,
we want to hear your you know your close all
you guys. I'm overwhelmed. I don't even know what to
say after such love. I guess um, I would ask

(45:14):
that everyone be super super kind to each other, go
out of your way way more than maybe even you
normally do. Um, we really need to depend on each other.
I'm just gonna keep hammering this home. And also, um, Joey,
as as it's been said, drinks his own come and
that wasn't just that was part of the show. That's

(45:34):
something I hope that people celebrate in the New year.
That's not true. This is this is really really paint
it seriously sounded. It really sounded sincere and real. I believe,
I believe that, I believes it's thanks, thank you wherever
you are, Thanks to fine folks that I heart media.

(45:57):
We celebrated two years back in October, so twenty one
will bring us into our third and beyond, and thank
you all for making that possible. And yeah, happy New
Year and