August 15, 2019 • 55 mins
Michael Mann opens a ride at Wonder Park and Mafioso Don Angelotti wants to meet him… Some Caveman were wildly smarter than others… Man wins McDonald’s Monopoly prize to travel around-the-world from Florida.
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy This I'm your host,
Kevin Pollock. Yes that Kevin Pollock. Yes, I did catch
in the two thousand nineteen World Series of Poker main event.
Thank you very much for asking. But I digress. Let's
meet our please see it's it's such a roses one.
Let's meet our archimists, shall we? In no particular, I
(00:22):
please say what the hell to Joey Greer, Joel, you
can't go? What did you think when you realize that
I was considerably shorter than you had assumed? Uh? That
so many other things were a lie? Well said, Hey everyone,
it's James Heeney Giamati heinl been. And if your dreams
(00:43):
can come true, how does the one you're enjoying right
now compare with the dream version you had? Well, it's
very similar, except I walk away with a big paycheck
in the dream. Well the dream, you know is? This
is great? It's great. I just want you miss Bentley
(01:03):
instead of a fiesta. What if Bentley made the fiesta? Oh?
Then I would be disappointed in Bentley and I'd be like,
who's not washing this? Bentley? And now for you, your
family of five Bentley presents the Fiesta here, Grego, it's
(01:26):
the pre interview for your first appearance on the Tonight
Show with Johnny Carson. How do you answer this question
from the segment producer? Okay, Greg, what's the question you'd
like Johnny to ask you to best set up your
first story? Uh? Is this your first time on the couch? Uh? Greig?
I have to ask, because it's so difficult for me
(01:47):
to keep track of these things. Is this, in fact
your first time in the couch? No, Johnny, I took
a studio three years ago. I saw you in ed
prepping for the show, and now final I have arrived
in show business. Well, congratulations, that's exciting. And I'll tell
you the most surprising part. I don't remember every rehearsing
(02:08):
with it. Let me guess for you. Sometimes done. The
rest of the week is yours? Uh? And last today? Wait,
can't be last? Yes? Last? Sorry? I keep thinking they're
seventeen of us, but a lump of Cole Stratton and
you're stalking if you think him least it's Mark Gagliardi, Marcus, Oh,
(02:28):
really just us? When the clock struck three, where were
the running away from the ball? Because I knew that
my coach would turn into a fiesta. Get out there
right by the by the final stroke of three. Wow,
I left a shoe though, That's exactly what I had
written down. That's the weirdest thing ever. All right, let's
(02:49):
get to our first thing show. We all today's scene
suggestions we gather from our listeners. Email. If you'd like
to submit yours, I love reading them. Please write to
the podcast at your name here at alchemy this dot com.
Your name here at alchemy this dot com. My first scene,
in fact, comes from listener Julian, who wrote, Hey, Alchemist,
I wanted to start this off by saying I love
(03:10):
you all equally except Chris, but he's not here to
hear that. Well, this person is definitely keeping track of
the show. I will not disclose whether I love him
more or less. I've been listening to the podcast for
about half a year now, thanks to my older brother Brian,
(03:32):
who recommended it. Hey, a big shout out to Brian.
Sweet Brian, Uh, you make showing up to work on
Tuesdays and Thursdays bearable. My scene suggestion involves a mafios
pitching their movie idea to a big shot director at
a theme Park. So he's giving us a location, an
(03:52):
occupation and relationships, but their pitch keeps getting interrupted. Thanks
for laugh, Julian. Okay, great, So with your fast pass
you're able to go into any of the rides here
at Wonder Park as many times as you want, front
of the line, no problem, that's all available to you.
And that's actually if on the back of this you
have the Gold Star, which looks like a little French fry,
(04:14):
that's going to give you access to all the food
courts as well. Yes, of course, why does the Ghost
Star look like a French fry? Oh that that's just
so the staff knows that you have access to the
food courts. There's just just there's there's different levels to it. Okay,
So how do I go through this whole thing without
having any excess to food court? You don't want? Well,
then what I'm saying, Um, well, if you don't want
(04:34):
any access to the food court, you just I would
recommend not going. But you have complete range being a
smart asking Mr Rangelotti, No he's so short, No, um,
I'm not. You think he'll get on all the rids today?
Of course? Uh, there's a two ft I don't know
(04:55):
um uh, yeah, of course he'll be able to. There
are so many min it is Josh okay, Josh, how
long you've been working I've been at Wonder Park for
fifteen years. Fifteen years. Yes, I have happy to be here.
Holy Cow, Chico, do you have any idea this guy's
been working here for fifteen years? I don't know. It
seems like a life for me. It's gonna be it
for a real long time. That guy, how much life
(05:16):
he's gonna have left? If and m he keeps disparage
of my boss here. Hey, Josh, are you making sure
everybody's having a wonderful day? That's my manager, Spencer. Yes, yes, sir,
I am Josh. If you showed them that they have
fast pass rides and can get to the front of
any line, I was actually we were just talking about that,
and we were talking about the food court Saturday French fries.
(05:37):
On your fast pass, you can go to the food lock.
What's up, Super, Sorry to interrupt the cheery conversation between
YouTube but Chico. Yeah, Michael Man over the Holy Cow
look at Michael. Michael May didn't mind. Josh. We're not
supposed to tell anybody my name is Steve manager, Steven Spencer,
(06:00):
Steven Hiss, he's a hundred dollard bill. Get the funk
out of my face. I just got a hundred dollars. Yeah,
but with that is get out of my face. Okay,
come out of here, Mr Angelotti. Yeah, you uh, you're
thinking what I'm thinking. Steve should go away. I'm thinking, Steve,
I'm thinking Mr Steve Spencer over, you should go away,
And I think Josh over you should take you over
(06:20):
to Mr Mans. You can tell them all about your
thing you were telling me about, Josh. You want what's
the spaces job? Steve Spencer, Um, well, I actually love
being on the floor. I love well, I just love
you want us to put you on the floor. I'm
already here. I don't understand. Yeah, that's Josh. We want
to meet Michael Man of course, a big shot there.
(06:41):
Right then? Have you seen that It's Too Hot? That
film he mean that he made It's Too Hot? Is
that why you see opening up the ride for it? Yeah,
it's amazing that film It's Too Hot ride. Second, does
it take place on the ride It's Too Hot? Yeah?
Well you relive the film It's Too Hot sim He's
based on it right like King Kong exactly. Yeah, he's
(07:03):
it's amazing. Do you know so much? But I got oh,
I gotta, I gotta one of the manual pass. It's
gotta stick around the bed. Oh do you really? Yeah,
it looks like it looks like it looks like a
French fry. Yes, it does. Yes. Don't you try to
don't you try to do this. Don't you try to
team up with me against my boss. I'm just surprised.
I'm excited. You're you're a wonder part member. That's amazing.
Would you would like to Mr Man fantastic? I can
(07:25):
do that because you have the fast pass. All right,
So he's got French fried, but we'll go off of
his past. Okay, great, I just started two French fries
when I get to the front. Okay, good, Sure you
do want to go into the food court. What I
would like from you is to take Chico over to
Mr Man totally of course, okay, and then Chico will
introduce me. I don't want you to introduce me to
Miss the Man. Okay, Fantastic, I understand, I understand. Okay,
(07:49):
when you're calling cards for me to hand to Mr
Man my gun, Yeah, you know your literal calling. I
mean you can hand him a gun if he needs
a gun. I'm sorry to say gun. No, no, not
came over? Okay, yeah you like butter on this or
or no? Yeah, go get some butter real quick. I'll
be right back. No, Boss, I don't, I don't. Why
(08:10):
would you hit him a gun? What makes you think
I got a card? I just I just assume what
you were calling on a guy. Assume you got a card.
Your a formal gentleman. What isn't that putty? You fucking
job Chico? And say, I represent Mr. And I'm your
calling caut okay, and this is what I'm I'm your boss,
your boss, you're the boss, Mr. Look, sir, I just
I can't get more pyrotechnics in here. I just it's
(08:32):
not possible. Look, the It's Too Hot ride needs to
reflect the It's Too Hot movie. I understand that, sir.
I understand that. But the movie is hot hot. It's hot, sir.
It's like I did heat already. You're familiar with heat.
It's iconic. Okay, yeah, it's iconic, but it's too hot.
It goes further than he and it's amazing. It's too
(08:54):
Hot is crazy. I love it. I've been making these
artsy movies for too long. I think it's time sold
out and did a theme park right movie. I agree
there the ARTSI heartzy and you know they're just starts.
Excuse me, that was just me speaking out, But I
believe they're just ARTSI partsy. That's just personal. Um. I
like that one I did with Jamie Fox driving Around
(09:16):
Time Cruise collaboral, thank you. Everything's collaborable. They just collaborated
and everything. That's not what that means collateral. I think
it's collaborable, and that's not collaborable. I think I would know.
I know the name of my own movie. I saw it.
I went to the theater to see it. Walter, did
you tell Mr Man that we can't have any more pyrotectonics? Yes?
(09:38):
What did you take the news? Did you take the news? Well,
Mr Walter, I did tell him. I want pyrotechnics. I
want pyro tectonics, which is winning and a fire or simultaneous. See,
here's the thing. There's a lot of people where unpredictable
amounts of hair spray and perfume and you'd never know
what's going to happen. We could be creating a dangerous
(09:59):
wonderful part of what we're doing is we're offering for
for only asbestos coats that the patrons wear, and then
they won't be burned asbestos. You mentioned hair spray. Remember
Daniel day Lewis's hair in the Last of the Mohicans directed, Well,
I let him grow out his hair for two years.
(10:19):
Did you direct that? Yes? I directed. I just told
you I directed them. I directed it. That doesn't mean
I did. That's why I was like, did you really? Okay?
Excuse me? Bullshit? Is hey you Michael Man? Yeah, my
boss wants to talk to you. That's I'm not one
of those instantly recognizable directors. But yeah, well from a distance, Hey,
(10:41):
you've been growing out for a couple of years, right,
I'm sorry? Is this okay? Mr? Man? Is this all right?
Do you? Is this okay? That he's screaming and asked
me to talk to you? You know, this guy feels
like a real person. Okay, this is somebody from the streets.
This is somebody who's seen life. I've seen life from
about forty one inches that's as high up as I
(11:01):
can see it. Nobody ever called me a real man
before Mr Man. What's your name? My name is that Chico,
Chico and the man look at that? Oh man, I
didn't I did not see that coming. My crew will
call me the Man because your last name is man.
That's part of it. I'll just I'll just off some popcorn.
(11:23):
I'm gonna get I don't need popcorn, okay, I god
damn popcorn all day. Hey, Mr Man, my boss really
wants to talk to you. Who's your buss? My boss?
Mr Angelotti, Gino Angelotti, Gino Angelotti, the Angelotti families. Yeah, oh,
the Angelotti families. Yeah, that's him. Yeah. You know, I
do a lot of films that Oh, here we go.
(11:46):
You know, I did Miami Vice, remember he Oh yeah,
this movie it's too hot. Is this a sequel because
it's a two in the middle of the name, you know,
it's more of a spiritual sequel. It has none of
the actors other than Val Kilmer. I'm gonna go get
my boss. Okay, okay, all right, chi Yeah, what is it?
(12:06):
I'm still standing over here by the clowns. Man boy,
that Mr Man boy, I want a sale track. I
really apologize. He can go on and on. That guy
can talk for a while I don't see a track. No,
he don't. My boss doesn't want to see a freaking trick. Uh,
what is it? Boss? I would like this inquisitory clown
(12:27):
to get out of my fish. Inquisitory clowns. You want
to get it out of my boss? Mr Angelotti's face?
Oh you got it? Hurt him? Heard anybody's walking away?
Justay what? I really didn't like the size of his shoes.
It was the most offensive pot So let me ask
you something. Am I gonna make Mr? Man? Yeah? Mr
(12:49):
Man's right away? Every want I think I heard him? Good?
Mr Man's right over there. He wants to talk to you.
Ready to make the election? I'm ready to make the introduction.
You tell him who wanted to make him? I did
tell him, wanted to meet him. Was he familiar with
at all? With me? He was familiar with Gino Angelotti?
He was, yeah, looking at that all right? You got
one of cars. Hi. He's from Chicago, right, Michael Man?
Michael Man, I'm pretty sure he's from Chicago. He's from Chicago,
(13:13):
Chico over here kind of? Mr Angelo? Yeah? What is it?
Michael Man? Did you talk to Mr Angelotti? I did?
Is he willing to meet with me. He's willing to
meet what you want. You want see him. He's right
over there. I mean we're making that contact. We're gonna say,
we're about twenty ft away at this point. All right, Uh,
Mr Man, may I introduce my boss? Gino Angelot? Is
(13:36):
that Michael Man? What is that? Gino Angelotti? It's a pleasure.
Thank you very much for that, Mr Man. Actually, pleasure
call me, Mike, really call me Gino please, Chico, Yes, Gino,
can you get me a lemonade? Yeah? You want to
thank Mike. He just called your Gino. I'll go get
(13:56):
your lemonade. I'd love it. I'd love the lemonade. Jacob. Yes,
two lemonades for Mr Man and Mr Gino Ancelotti. The
greatest boss I ever had. Boss is fine? All right?
What brings you to Wonder Park? Well? I heard about this.
It's too hot, right, yeah. And it's a movie. It's yeah,
(14:21):
it's both. It's both. It's a movie. Right, So I
gotta tell you look at this. Oh I'm the Wizard
of Wonder Buck. Yes, okay, we don't we don't know.
Two old men but young boys at heart. Yes, huh.
Wish a wish from the Warlock. Huh a child's wish
(14:42):
from the Warlock of Wonder Bark, gotta wish granted? What
is your wish? You turn into a frog? Frog right now?
Turn into a frog right now? Oh that's not it.
Ribb it say ribbit so close myself. Yeah, keep pissing
(15:09):
yourself so that as a frog. Start to get a
little aquatic. Okay, okay, I'll get out of here. Get
out of here. Real nice meeting. Pleasure me, Mr Mann Pleasure.
How does he know it's me? It's so strange. You
have one of the most recognizable How did you not
know that you're from Chicago? Rig from Chicago. I did
a film called Thief with Jimmy con and that's really one.
(15:30):
Oh please, I can recyite most of the dialogue. Really
want what's your favorite line? You want to do a
couple of scenes? I mean, I got it in the chamber.
I'm ready to go. Sure, Sure you want to be Jimmy,
I'll be Jimmy. Okay, Well I like that, all right,
it'll be tuesday. Well, oh I like that even more. Uh.
You tell you something about that Jimmy con fellow. He
(15:50):
had a strut, You had a way of walking you know.
I mean, obviously Sonny Carlone, maybe the most iconic. Uh.
But I had to have a question for you directing
a guy like that. I mean, really, here's your popcorn?
Sorry about that? Mr Angelino? Oh Mr, how are you? Sir? An? Okay,
(16:10):
sorry about that? No one asked I'm a film get
off with popcorn one of the perks. I'm sure, sir,
it's not a perk at all. It's it's truly. Well,
is there anything else I can help you with it?
I was just giving Mr get the funk out of here? Okay,
well said? Okay, um, you know the expression to take
it on the atches architecture walk away? Oh okay? Um.
(16:33):
I'm just I was supposed to be. I'm supposed to
be your handler for the day, sir. And yea, I
look like a fellow who needs handling. No, so I
just may I'm supposed to help guide you. He handles you,
you don't handle him. I didn't even see this. Oh
my god? How does everyone know the millimeter my gun?
The caliber? Rather, you don't mind if I write down
(16:58):
some of your dialogue to make it a thing? Yeah,
I mean, I don't want to be misrepresented exactly as
a person doesn't know the difference from the millimeter in
the Callaghan millimeter and a calendar. It work, the dental
work done. It's fine that the teeth and the tongue
not working. Should I should not give you popcorn? Is
(17:19):
that gonna hurt? How did you know this was a
forty gun? I can tell from the barrel size on
the barrel side. So I point my gun at you
and the first thing you're looking at is the barrels. Yeah,
I'm looking at with the bullets. It's going to come
out of what the bullets gonna come out of? That? Smart? Yeah,
where's the bullet going? Well, where you're pointing that, it's
(17:39):
gonna go through my lungs, both of them probably, I'm
thinking just the left one. Well, if I turned sideways,
they can go through both. Well, but the heart is
on the left side, which is why I'm choosing the
left side. So taking on the atches, I understand. But
my heart moves Mr. Mr Man, Uh yeah, Mike not
(18:00):
you know, just spread. But the Jimmy can't can be
a little difficult. He was a little difficult at th
you know, but you should be honest. I heard you
can be a little difficult. That's right. I'm a bit
of a prick, are you right? You know that me
and Christopher Plumber. You know when I was beming the
Insider about the guy who took down the cigarette industry
throughout sixty minutes that the Australian actor Fella, yeah, Russ Crowe,
(18:22):
there we go. Yeah, I was working with Chris Plumber.
He was playing Mike Wallace. Yeah. And hey, Mr Angel,
Jesus christ Mr ANGELI I got you your lemonade. I
got you a lemonade. To Mr Man, he said to
get two lemonades. Also, Mr Man, I got you this popcorn,
son of a bitch. People keep offering me popcorn movie
(18:46):
director popcorn. I'm sorry, yeah, what is it? Mr Anchel,
I believe you offended. Mr Man. I apologize for a
friend that you, Mr Managed the Man. I'm gonna ask
Chicko if he needs all ton of his fingers and thumbs,
and if he does, you pick which one he's gonna lose. Okay,
this is great. I'm gonna write down some of the
s did you really do? Though? And tonight only we
(19:07):
have a special exclusive clip of Michael Mann director It's
too Hot in the Dumpling series, breaking a man's fingers.
Do you have something to say about this? I think
that it's pretty important that we see the way that
these stars are acting in public. It's unacceptable. Let's roll
the clip, let's roll it. No, this is fun. This
(19:27):
is actually fun. Right, So you can just snip this one,
but it's not better to get a nice clean snip. Okay.
There are children in the background. They're watching his fingers
getting clipped right off the end, won Park. I mean,
this is gonna definitely affect the rides opening, and even
if he's going to have a deal with them going forward,
we know that he's part of Universal Pictures and that's
definitely gonna affect some deals absolutely, And I think, okay,
(19:53):
of course, I'm okay, But you know what, there's some
Mothers against Wonder Park going on, and there's a good
chance that the boycotts gonna I think shut down. We
are mouth. We are malp players against Wonder Park. We
are mouth. We are mouth Wonders against Wonder Wonders against
Mother Park. We have a representative of that here with
us in the office, and let's just go to her now, Janice, Okay,
(20:17):
so you're a Mother against Wonder fact, that's right, wear
a malp and what is your major disagreement with the park? Well,
the danger of the rides. There's one that's pyro tectonic,
meaning that there's earthquakes and fires at the same time.
And we saw a name recognizable director, somebody so iconic
you would immediately know who he was walking double Yes,
(20:40):
it's Michael Man cutting off a midget with a cigar cutter. Wow,
that's awful, that's awful. I also saw a wizard who
had fully pissed his robes. Okay, And and this is
enough of the Mother's against Wonder Park to help Jannis.
(21:01):
Thank you so much. We also have a pr representative
for Michael Man on the line. Uh, Duncan, you're on
go for it? Yes? Uh? I would you like to
say that my client was completely and utterly misrepresented as
a unique individual who was there to oversee an important
day in the history of the park as well as
all of entertainment. So he was misrepresented as a unique individual. Yes,
(21:25):
because artistic integrity often involves what others might perceive as violence. Understood,
Thank you Duncan. It was a pleasure talking to you.
Who is this this is a Bruce Tristal for E Network.
Already you called for what you called into us as
a PR representative for Michael May. Are you okay, Duncan,
(21:48):
is this actually other thing? All right? Okay? Well that
was that was Duncan representing Michael Man. Are you sure
that that's the correct PR representative? High? Sorry, but this
is seeming like it's an unprepared interview. What he's doing.
I got journalists. Oh no, we are. Okay, Chico, you're
(22:10):
basically playing yourself in this scene, and you're gonna be
opposite Mr Jimmy Con, Mr Man, we have some popcorn
for you. Okay, thank you. I am currently directing so
constantly popcorning while I direct. But the second we wrap,
the second I call cut, you're gonna take the popcorn away.
(22:31):
It's a popcorn away. I lost fingers because in a
popcorn Okay, that's good. That's good, Chico, use it, use it.
So you're gonna be opposite Jimmy Conn in this scene.
He's going to be a little intense. Yeah, he's got
that strike. He's gonna Jimmy's gonna strut in and he's
gonna beat the ship out and se oh, man boy,
(22:54):
man man, what a man? No man? I love he?
Why is he so angry about pop? It's too hot?
Was that intended to be? Yeah? I didn't want to
eat so good? All right? Seen number two comes in,
John Road, Hey, there up your show. I never missed
(23:16):
an episode. Thank you for that, Joan. I listened during
my daily commute when I go out for long runs,
and when I go out for long runs here in
the beautiful Colorado scenery. Wow, it seems like he's pitching
to us a little bit. I'd be a member of
the James Tene fan Club if we could only get
that darn charter approved my idea for an episode. Neanderthals
(23:43):
may have been smarter than we previously thought, and history
may have given them a bad rap. I'd love to
hear a conversation between these smarter cavemen and women. Wow,
and they're less than cave mates. Thanks for everything you do,
John Zar Niki, love your work, professor. I've just asked.
(24:07):
I just estivated the area over here, and we found
some excavator what's excavated? Sorry, just found some rudimentary tools.
Let me be the decider of rudimentary Yes, huh. This
looks like a USB charging port. Yes, very rudimentary. Yes,
and that's strange. And you found this here? Yes, yes,
(24:31):
it's about down. Wow, this is incredible. I mean, right
next to the remains of the Neanderthals. It seems as
if we've been miss misrepresenting the smartness. Mike, Mike, you
have you have Donggle. I can borrow you you you're
(24:54):
gonna borrow my Doggle. I need borrow Dougle. Yeah, get
your room. Doggle store not open. I can't go get
my own dongles store open at nine. I need dongle
night tonight. Now, okay, you you you borrow dongle now,
but you give Donggle back immediately. Promise give Donggle back immediately.
I need just true knight tomorrow. I get dongle and
(25:17):
replace your dongle. Okay, is fair? May I borrow laptop.
It seems as if there's quite a bit of extraordinary
technology down here. Rudimentary technology, I completely. I mean it's
I don't think you're using the word rudimentary correctly. Well,
it's an art professor, I mean, only the end of flow.
Because of the era. It came from a history. Of course,
(25:40):
there's no way they're smarter than us, so they're at
the same level. This is a rock book. Pro Look
at it still has I can't believe it. It still works.
It's function. Oh my gosh, this changes everything. This changes
it's all your papers. I mean, it's just if it
comes out into public. But my papers have written in
books with ink. No, we have to tell the pot
can't tell the public. The people need to know this.
(26:03):
We are burying this back down wyoming and hear me out,
um use your words. Come on, come on, Goodchuck. I
think you miss he made pooh. I can see he
(26:25):
made pooh, and yeah, I evolve already. Ask for request?
You ask for a request, Mike, you're talking to Homo
sapiens again. Request? Uh uh? You follow me? Follow him? Okay?
(26:51):
You follow him on on social media? Yes, you want
me to follow you on social follow him? Yes? Okay?
Well what have you posted lately? Gave gave wa finger,
he made pooh, make pooh thing? Okay, I'm not gonna
(27:12):
follow you just to see the pools that you made. Okay,
and you had a successful hunt. Yes, follow him? Okay,
all right, I'm gonna follow alight. I'm following for now.
How are you all right? Now? I've got you tied
(27:34):
up down here. You aren't going to escape. You're the
worst intern I've ever had. You're supposed to be an
archaeologist intern. They stay silent. Wake up, wake up? Huh
are you awake? Are you with me? Huh? All right?
(27:55):
Who knows that you're with me? Out here at this site?
A whole bunch of people. I need themes. I just
tweeted it out before I got here. Where's your phone?
It's in my back pocket. What's your password to seven?
Go on? It's just seven? The word seven, yes, but
spelled with numbers five, three, V, three and v and
(28:19):
and aren't numbers? Well, I luke Luke. I'm a professor.
My whole career accounts on the things I've written being true.
This information comes out. I'm through, and then you've been
following a dumb professor this whole time. Dr I have
(28:41):
a question for you. Uh well, First of all, big
fan of the book, thank you, thank you, um most
are yeah, well listen, that's why we're here. But so
I'm a little confused in the opening chapter when you,
as you say, uh, digress and put yourself back in
the place where these Neanderthals lived, and how it was
(29:03):
even possible that they could have any sort of technology
at all given the rudimentary instruments they had to work with. Well,
when I digressed and talked about going back to the
time of the Neanderthals, I don't think that the world
writ large understood what I meant when I said that
I went back to the time of the Neanderthals. I
(29:23):
think the world thinks I meant that I was saying
I was studying it, when in fact I went back
to the time of the the Neanderthals, and I accidentally
left a backpack that had two iPads, a laptop, and
several dongles. And follow up questions, Yes, why the two iPads,
because I one of them is for work and one
(29:45):
of them is for just playing Matchington's manor I see,
And how is it that you were able to transport
back in time? Well, that really that the technical specs
of it are probably probably beyond your comprehension. Set down
this lecture, the professor, would you come with us for
a second time? It's doctor. The professor is the madman
who put a guy the happy I had I determined titles.
(30:07):
Why don't you come with me? All right? Getting back
of this car? Wow, this is this is roomy? What
is this? It's a Fiat fist a weird roomy Fiat. Yes,
we have reason to believe that you went back in
time and then because because I was just talking about
it on a stage. Yes. Have you seen Stargate? Yeah,
(30:27):
I've seen star Stark, So you know the one that
the lady gets the guy in the end of the movie.
You've seen that. I've seen the part in the movie.
What was your favorite part of the movie. Look, I'm
just trying to move this along, so am I. What
was your favorite part of the movie when they walked
through the star Gate? Right, yeah, all right, you can
get out of the car, thank you. I told you
was when you walked to the circuit um. It looks
(30:53):
like someone's in a little trouble with FBI. Yeah. Look
I had to I didn't know where to go, so
I just came back here. I really need my backpack.
It's my backpack. Now. Look, Mike, you've done amazing things
here in Neanderthal times. You you've invented social media for
(31:13):
these people. You have you have a bigger brain than
anyone ever imagined. Let me go back to the world
and tell them about this. I just need you to
give me my backpack, and then you'll be the most
famous Neanderthal in history. Here's your backpack, I mean the
stuff that was this stuff? Oh but you asked for
the backpack? All right, let's not be people not precise
(31:36):
with words. In nineteen here we go the backpackers for
a pool. Who ship in my backpack? The Homo sapiens did? Yeah,
that was all right? Look, okay you want I can
give you one of your right beds back. Is it
the one that you just got a video game on it?
(31:57):
Nobody needs two eye beds. Give me the one that
I used for work then, please? Okay, all right, hold on,
let me put my password in. Yes, okay, this isn't
the work one. That's the work one. Can I have
the work one? Please? All right? Thanks? And the and
the rock book pro. It's very cute that you changed that.
That's really I don't even know where you got a
sharp you did rock book bro trademark? Mike, Just give
(32:21):
me all my stuff back. And I'm missing it looks
like I'm missing one dongle Um, I'm gonna need to
keep the dongle. Why do you need to keep the dongle?
Am I gonna charge with the dongle? Well, saber two
tiger God, we have all the things gone that we excavated.
(32:43):
Where's the rock book? Pro? It seems to have just
disappeared in front of me. I don't know. I'm tied up.
You get me tied up. I don't know what a
bitch you've been hiding the things that we've taken. I
can't find the dongles, the USB charge that they all evaporated.
It's possible that if the time loop was created, an
individual who gave the things in the past went back
there and took them that they would disappear in our present. Now,
(33:04):
all right, I'm gonna untie you, but only because you
have certain information that I find necessary. Okay, So what
were you saying about a time scoop? It's a time scoop.
It's when someone goes back in time and plans things,
any artifacts right or the imprint with them on being
and changed the ripple of time. But to go back
(33:27):
to that point in time where they were and then
reverse the actions they took to set stop stop pool, stop,
stop hurting my brain. But the good news is this
is apparently not me being wrong. Someone's messed with the
time continuum. Did you just step on butterfly? You just
(33:47):
step on butterfly? No, Mike, I step on butter You
step on butterfly? What? What? What's wrong with stepping on butterfly?
It could change the entire timeline? Oh? Just me stepping
on butterfly changed change titling for for who? For us?
Mr Man? I'm sorry. We're not gonna do heat. Okay,
we're not gonna do it. What we're not going to
do stupid lined up? Oh those two drug addicts, No,
(34:11):
thank you, We're not working with them. All right, We're
not doing it. Okay. Look, DeNiro has made a movie
since uh bus driving, right, and I'm bringing him out
of retirement. That's stupid rom com. No one liked it,
all right, it was bad. It was a bad was
a great rom com? Alright? Mr Man, I'm sorry. Okay,
Look you can I get more popcorn? I love popcorn. Look,
(34:34):
we only get popcorn to directors, all right. I am
a director working directors. Eight Geno Gino, get over here.
Oh jeez, so yeah, Mr fink. Is that Michael Man
over there? You know I think it is. I want
you to go get that guy in the nuts right
(34:55):
here at Creation Park. Okay, so kick him, kick him
square in the nuts in the car. All right, just
walk up and do it induced myself. How does this work? Mr? Forgan?
I just want you to know that here at Quation Park,
we gave you some steady passes, so you're gonna be
able to ride the rides at your leisure with everyone else. Right.
(35:18):
What's this circle on the back mean? That means that
you're able to use any of our restroom facilities whenever
they're available. Wait, how do you think that's going to change? Timeline?
It's gonna be pretty similar. A few names will change,
some social dynamics will reverse. Heat won't get ride? All right, Luke,
(35:43):
what do you know about time travel? Who taught you
what you know? We need to bring it back to
the way it was. Is it a time plane? What
is it? It's more of a gate, a gate? What
kind of gate? It's fenced? It's a fenced gate, fence gatebo.
Do you know how we can get that? Welcome to
Larry's House of Gates? How can I help you, gentlemen,
(36:04):
we're looking for a time gate. I'm famous the first
time I've heard this. You're looking for the time gate,
the time gate that will take you back in time
so you can correct mistakes that were made from someone's
not almost take someone's mistakes, mistakes done the less right.
And uh, that's the same for you, sir. Yes, I'm
I'm with him. Here with him, don't mind the bruises
(36:26):
on his face. What size would you like to time gate?
Big enough for two people to walk through simultaneously? Your sizes? Yes,
our exact sizes. What are you about? Six seven? I
think about six seven? Yes, But I'm willing to dock
as long as it's why nothing to you to pass through?
About right? Okay, you're ducked down of like five eight? Sure?
(36:49):
All right? That's a doctor. Are you sure I've played limbo?
If if you haven't ducked at six seven by this
age of your life, then you haven't been living. I mean,
you're gonna be pretty much at five degree angle. But
I just need to know you can actually get through
a gate. I need to know that this gate will
take me back in time. Yeah, that's not a problem. Okay,
it's not a problem. I can bend over everything at
(37:11):
six ft or something or no one year we'd like
to go back to. Maybe we should go somewhere else
if it's going to be a gentleman. I'm not here
to sell unless you're here to buy. So we're here
to buy. But we're just you know, we just figure
with having to bend over to get through a time?
Can I talk to you for a second. I just
don't feel like that's appropriate, you know. I think you
should get the gate that like fits you. I don't
(37:32):
know how much time we have to fix the time.
It's running out every second. Matter seems like it's spinning
out of control completely. I mean, but we need something
that you feel comfortable with. Right, right, we'll go somewhere else. Okay,
we're going to take our business elsewhere, lovely. Do you
know of another place that sells taller time gates? A
gate that allows you to go through in time, but
(37:53):
just just slightly larger? Yes? No, I don't. Okay, come on, Luke,
let's go. Let's go to home depot. I think they
some I'll see you tune about thirty seven minutes. How
do you know this? Never mind? Welcome to home depot.
I am groc what how can I help you? H
we're looking for looking for a time gate gate, a
(38:15):
time gate that I can walk four times for a
man who's as tall as you. Okay, uh okay, um,
I'll see what we have. Um. I mean time gates
are typically smaller. Capacity is usually around five eight, right,
(38:35):
But we're just looking for something that you know, wouldn't
I mean for as his height. Okay, okay, it's like
a custom time kate. We can get possibly my splooke,
let's just go back to its customer do custom. But
going to be more expensive. I mean, I think that's fine. Honestly,
it's going to be more comfortable to go back to
the dollars. I think the university could pay for that.
(38:57):
If that's a two million dollars, that's a lot for
a time make it back in gambling. No, it doesn't matter,
all right, all right, that's the scene too. We just
right at that time as the time gate was open,
were last thing today come from Spud? Spud that's right,
(39:19):
who wrote love the show. But like so many others,
I can't listen at work because hiding the laughter is
too stressful. James ceney more like James Heinie. It's a
good one. That's a good one. In breentheses my kid
because I love Uh. Here's a concise topic. Florida mac,
(39:44):
Florida man wins a trip across the world from the
McDonald's monopoly competition and x accordingly eagerly awaiting from Jacksonville,
Florida spud. Uh sorry sorry, have a question off here
over here now here with the hat. Yes, Now that
(40:06):
you've won your trip across the world from the McDonald's
monopoly competition, how will you act? I'm going to finally
act like people have been treating me my whole life
like ship starting now. Question U ues question. Question? The
question in front? Question is that me? Yes? Are you
wanting me? You're looking at me, said the gentleman next
(40:26):
to you. Question a question? Is it for me or
for him? Question? Okay? But question is who are you
talking to I'm talking to your question? I have a question.
Are you talking and I'm talking to your question? Are
you looking or talking to me? Question about question? Motherfucking me?
You have a question? Are you talking to me? I
am talking to you? Are question? I have a question?
(40:47):
Who are you questioning? Are you are you looking at me?
I have a question, I have a questions. Have a question? Okay, question? Yes,
what's your question? Florida and statement? Uh, I'm winning the
trip around the world. Thank you? Question how question? Question?
(41:09):
I need someone to remove this man from the room.
He is trolling me. Question question How many trips to
McDonald's did it take in order to secure all the
game pieces in order to win? I actually didn't eat there.
I found them in the trash cans. I spent a
great deal of time rummaging through trash camps. Question question
I question. You have been bothering me all day, sir,
(41:30):
ever since I've won. You stalked me. You're outside of
my house, you are in front of my car. What
I'm trying to back out? What is your problem? Question?
Who is the question? Man? Well, you've been asking yourselves
that for a long long time. After saying the footage
we just showed, yet again, we've got him exclusively on
the show today. Please welcome the question man. I I Charlie,
(41:52):
pleasure to be here. Uh tell me where did you
get your particular style that the whole world is just
buzzing about of asking questions? Well, Charlie that's an interesting question.
Un Originally what happened was as a kid, I would
always have always had an inquisitive nature, so I found
it natural to ask questions. But your question seemed to
(42:14):
be just repeating the word question. Thanks, Charlie. That's an
interesting question. I always think about as a way to
ask a question, is you have to first ask a question?
So and everyone's calling you the question guy? Do you
want to tell everyone what your name is? Yes, Charlie,
that's a great question. My name is Darius Rucker. I
I live outside of a CVS on third and and
(42:35):
mel Rose, and I just want everyone to know that
there is if I can do it, so can you.
I love CVS, they really do. Sorry terribly sorry. I
didn't know that interview would make you so upset. I'm
that man has been bothering me. I think he's jealous
of my winnings. You're that one onto you? What do
you mean that one? You don't recognize my face? I said,
(42:56):
fuck O. I'm the winner of the Monopoly World Champion
and ship and I'm traveling the world now. Congratulations. Would
would you hotel? Is it that I can drop your
fat that are full right here? And I want the
tallest hotel one. You just want me to take you
to the bring me to the tallest hotel. Can you
understand me? Now? Yes? I can. Jesus Florida mano, I
(43:23):
can you know what? I'm just going to turn the
radio back on. Don't turn the radio one. I like
the Charlie. That was a great question. And if there's
something that I know for a fact is that if
we ask a question, we'll probably get an answer. And
I have a question for you. Are there any questions
that you've asked that actually makes some sort of sense
(43:44):
that then provoke an answer. Charlie, that's a great question.
I think my original question to the Florida man who
won the McDonald's millions and travel the world, I think
that's the most revenue one, and that question is why
aren't you spending that money where it should be back
in Florida. Okay, Charlie, this is your producer and your headset.
We've done some research. Darius Rucker is the lead singer
of Hoody and the Blow. Let me ask you a
question and Melrose, do not intersect. So a couple of
(44:07):
a couple of follow up questions, if I may, Yes, Charlie,
Darius Uh. It's interesting to me and the folks who
work at the show here that you happened just happened
to have the same name as the frontman for the
iconic group during a nine minute window called Hooty and
the Blowfish, Darius Rucker. And also that you said you
(44:27):
lived a third in Melrose. Those streets run perpendicular parallel.
Thank you. My purnises in my ear is giving me
the wrong information. They run parallel, so they would never Actually,
that's a great question, Charlote. I have an answer that question.
I am Darris Rucker from Hohody in the Blowfish, and
I have a lot of you. Please turn the radio.
Thank you. I apologize for being so rude to you,
(44:51):
but it's just that I've I've had a rough life.
Tell me we're about it. I don't want to talk
about the rough time. Now you opened the door. That's right.
I'm a winner. You might have been a get the
hell out of Talahassee, but I I pay rents here Danesville.
(45:13):
But your daughter and I are in love. I I
feel like I ain't know away from my goddamn daughter,
I ain't in love with you. A piece of ship.
But you we went to prom together. We were high school.
We went to prom together. And I'll let you touch
my feet and I'll get the funk out of here. Daddy,
he put his seat inside of her. Well, listen, I
don't know if that's true or not. If I did that,
(45:35):
I would love to marry her. I'm gonna feed you
to the God. Ok you can'm leaving. Okay, I'm leaving
Tallahassee by loser. You guys are gonna regret it one
day when I make it big. How you gonna do
the hard work? Drummaging a Monopoly games again, Monopoly contest?
(45:57):
You can get a park place? Would you never get?
Dad knows also that money's face and so many people
had written me off. But there I am getting the
last piece of boardwalk and park place. What are the
odds of both of them? Several million to one, I suppose.
But it turns out you're more likely to be struck
(46:19):
by lightning a hundred times and win the game. Right?
Is that why your hair is so white in spots? Well,
that's honestly just malnutrition. I was. I had been eating
out of the garbage for a great night time. That's odd.
What when the rear view mirror keeps gunning right behind
us with his hand waving in the air. Do you
think he's trying to do you think he's trying to
(46:40):
stop you? I don't know. It sounds like he's going.
Question what he's healing? Question that Darius Rocker? Question question,
Oh my god, go go faster? I know that man. Okay,
can you lose him? I can try, sir, but I'm
not gonna prefer it this. Okay? Well, well, maybe maybe
(47:04):
if you just pull into a private parking lot where
he can't come in. I'll try. I'll try my best,
but most parking lots are quite wide open. Sir. All right,
I'll just sit here in this parking lot and he
has pulled up right behind us. Question. Question what do
you wanted? You'll have to roll down the question? Question? Question? Question? Question?
(47:26):
Are you talking to me? Question? I have a question
for you. There's a question for you looking at me? Question?
Would you like me to drive off? So maybe if
you just I will give you a hundred thousand dollars
if you kill this man? Right us? Dear god? Question
my god? What they said about Florida to Mann is right?
(47:47):
Take photo wait, don't make LORI and we have new
footage here and of the Florida man who won those
million dollars killing Darius Rucker from Booty and the Bluefish. Janie,
are you okay? I can't. I can't believe watching this footage,
just a man being killed on camera, wild wild, that's insane.
(48:11):
I can't believe. Clive. I have a question for you
before I give you this taxi driver's license, one last question.
If you are offered from a patron a total sum
of one hundred thousand pounds, of course, to let's just say,
do weay with someone? My goodness, never precisely? So your
(48:34):
answer is never? Never? How about two hundred thousand pounds.
Everyone wants a number, client, I do not have a number, sir,
six hundred thousand pounds. I still, I still would not
do it. I still recall you and Gloria were thinking
(48:56):
of getting a new home. So this is why is
it regular? This line of questioning? Is there anything that
you'd like me to know or do? Or is there
something you're not telling me? Yes? Would you like to
tell me? Can? I? I don't think he's ready for
the cabman. I don't die either, did you hear what
(49:18):
he said about six hundred thousand accusing me of wanting
to kill someone? I did? Is there any last question
I can ask him that might allow him to join
the cabman was asking me, what would you do if
you had all the pieces to a monopoly ball? Happily
welcome back for the following up question and now trying
(49:40):
to remove all thoughts about our conversation about you accepting
money to do away with someone. Of course, this is
the question that matters, moved. What would you do if
you were to receive each end, every piece from a
monopoly ball? Mm? Hmm, that you do? You mean the
(50:00):
McDonald's game Monopoly board. Let's say yes, Well, I think
perhaps i'd like to tour America all the way from
Tallahassee to Gainesville. What brings you here? It turns out
I've one the McDonald's monopoly game, Oh Ship. Nobody ever
wins those? Daddy I wanted the scene in him, He
(50:21):
talks for that's you dumb now. I'm not not you
dumb now. I can speak quite well. So you Seminals fan,
you Gators fan. The siminar picture is important. Better pick
right scept the Seminars are a tribe of Native Americans.
I assume they've boy right. Um, well, I would always
(50:44):
choose man over alligators. I hear that quite dangerous. Seminal.
Good choice, good choice, good chores. You're smart guy. Also,
I saw signs that said go seminals all over town.
Right about those big Confederate flags, Yeah, they're party. It's
that quite beautiful. Um. What do you call your flag? FLA?
(51:04):
We call it a union jack. What's that mean? Well,
it's the union of all the If I take my
shoes off, as you can see my feet, Um, all right,
please take make yourself comfortable. Captain number toes she's got
on her left foot. Oh my goodness, that is more
than most. That is seven eight. Oh oh, there's a
(51:26):
little tiny when I didn't see it first. English Man,
you won't go to the multiplex with us tonight. It's
too hot as primarily it's a Michael Mayn bill. You
got tons of pyro tectonics. Yeah, that's where the earthquakes
and far like a Volkana. Now, now, Gainesville is not
far from Orlando, right one? And one that that wonder
(51:48):
part that's that's down near Orlando. That is one thing
I like you'd like to see wonderful. I would like
to see why well, I'd like to see all the prides.
And there's a there's a particular clown now that I
like as a sorcerer. I've had contending to a frog.
You've been waiting for this really coaster along. Yeah, I've
(52:08):
been waiting for the this roller coast for a very
long time. I've been standing in this line for nearly
eight hours. I count to the United States, but not
for this. Well, you know it's it's worth it here
when you get to the front of the line, like,
it's pretty great right at the front of the line. Pass. Look,
you don't need to play the school. I know that
you recognize me. I didn't want to say anything, but
(52:35):
I could. I could tell upon immediately seeing it. Sorry,
excuse me, Mr Man Popcorn, Thank you. I love popcorn
in this timeline. And that is our show for today.
Oh baby boy, take me home and make me stink.
Thanks to today. All of our alcumis starting with James
c Need. James, thanks for having me check out the
(52:55):
real James he Need dot com. Alright, fine, Greigski, thank
you so much. Been here my pleasure. Drunk History three
Emmy nominations. Probably you're probably associated with the show of
everybody at this table who got the most. Congratulations to
you as well, Mark Aglee aready, Yes, sir, thanks for
(53:17):
having me. Blood and Treasure Tuesdays at ten on CBS.
So damn excited for season two. Congratulations again on that. Uh,
Joseph of Greer, we got Bear Supply, second and fourth
Wednesday's nine o'clock a West Side Comedy. That's correct. We
also got uh this is going live shows, uh like
one Sunday a month, the first Sunday of every month.
And Alchemy. This will be live on stage of the
(53:39):
West Side Comedy with you the first Sunday of every
month at nine pm. Back we're talking Emmy's all right.
I was. I was on a show called Dream Corps
LLC swim show. They're nominated. Vote for them, alright. They
nominated for the animation I believe, Oh sweet, and you
did what now? I was just I was improvising in
the dark behind every for the robot. What did you
(54:02):
get a little sampling what the robot sounded like? Honestly,
just like this. I didn't try to do any voice,
no wonder, no wonder. They got nominated. Thank our engineer
at the Stars Richard doc Band and our post sound
design artist Rafael Brito and of course obviously producer and
so very talented. So if you're like me, and lastly,
(54:24):
of course I heard media, I encourage Bology to write
a review. Please please, please tell everyone you've ever met
and right to us at your name here at alcovey
this dot com that it's your name here at alcovey
this dot com. I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. Until next time,
Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy This I'm your host,
Kevin Pollock. Yes that Kevin Pollock. Yes, I did catch
in the two thousand nineteen World Series of Poker main event.
Thank you very much for asking. But I digress. Let's
meet our please see it's it's such a roses one.
Let's meet our archimists, shall we? In no particular, I
(00:22):
please say what the hell to Joey Greer, Joel, you
can't go? What did you think when you realize that
I was considerably shorter than you had assumed? Uh? That
so many other things were a lie? Well said, Hey everyone,
it's James Heeney Giamati heinl been. And if your dreams
(00:43):
can come true, how does the one you're enjoying right
now compare with the dream version you had? Well, it's
very similar, except I walk away with a big paycheck
in the dream. Well the dream, you know is? This
is great? It's great. I just want you miss Bentley
(01:03):
instead of a fiesta. What if Bentley made the fiesta? Oh?
Then I would be disappointed in Bentley and I'd be like,
who's not washing this? Bentley? And now for you, your
family of five Bentley presents the Fiesta here, Grego, it's
(01:26):
the pre interview for your first appearance on the Tonight
Show with Johnny Carson. How do you answer this question
from the segment producer? Okay, Greg, what's the question you'd
like Johnny to ask you to best set up your
first story? Uh? Is this your first time on the couch? Uh? Greig?
I have to ask, because it's so difficult for me
(01:47):
to keep track of these things. Is this, in fact
your first time in the couch? No, Johnny, I took
a studio three years ago. I saw you in ed
prepping for the show, and now final I have arrived
in show business. Well, congratulations, that's exciting. And I'll tell
you the most surprising part. I don't remember every rehearsing
(02:08):
with it. Let me guess for you. Sometimes done. The
rest of the week is yours? Uh? And last today? Wait,
can't be last? Yes? Last? Sorry? I keep thinking they're
seventeen of us, but a lump of Cole Stratton and
you're stalking if you think him least it's Mark Gagliardi, Marcus, Oh,
(02:28):
really just us? When the clock struck three, where were
the running away from the ball? Because I knew that
my coach would turn into a fiesta. Get out there
right by the by the final stroke of three. Wow,
I left a shoe though, That's exactly what I had
written down. That's the weirdest thing ever. All right, let's
(02:49):
get to our first thing show. We all today's scene
suggestions we gather from our listeners. Email. If you'd like
to submit yours, I love reading them. Please write to
the podcast at your name here at alchemy this dot com.
Your name here at alchemy this dot com. My first scene,
in fact, comes from listener Julian, who wrote, Hey, Alchemist,
I wanted to start this off by saying I love
(03:10):
you all equally except Chris, but he's not here to
hear that. Well, this person is definitely keeping track of
the show. I will not disclose whether I love him
more or less. I've been listening to the podcast for
about half a year now, thanks to my older brother Brian,
(03:32):
who recommended it. Hey, a big shout out to Brian.
Sweet Brian, Uh, you make showing up to work on
Tuesdays and Thursdays bearable. My scene suggestion involves a mafios
pitching their movie idea to a big shot director at
a theme Park. So he's giving us a location, an
(03:52):
occupation and relationships, but their pitch keeps getting interrupted. Thanks
for laugh, Julian. Okay, great, So with your fast pass
you're able to go into any of the rides here
at Wonder Park as many times as you want, front
of the line, no problem, that's all available to you.
And that's actually if on the back of this you
have the Gold Star, which looks like a little French fry,
(04:14):
that's going to give you access to all the food
courts as well. Yes, of course, why does the Ghost
Star look like a French fry? Oh that that's just
so the staff knows that you have access to the
food courts. There's just just there's there's different levels to it. Okay,
So how do I go through this whole thing without
having any excess to food court? You don't want? Well,
then what I'm saying, Um, well, if you don't want
(04:34):
any access to the food court, you just I would
recommend not going. But you have complete range being a
smart asking Mr Rangelotti, No he's so short, No, um,
I'm not. You think he'll get on all the rids today?
Of course? Uh, there's a two ft I don't know
(04:55):
um uh, yeah, of course he'll be able to. There
are so many min it is Josh okay, Josh, how
long you've been working I've been at Wonder Park for
fifteen years. Fifteen years. Yes, I have happy to be here.
Holy Cow, Chico, do you have any idea this guy's
been working here for fifteen years? I don't know. It
seems like a life for me. It's gonna be it
for a real long time. That guy, how much life
(05:16):
he's gonna have left? If and m he keeps disparage
of my boss here. Hey, Josh, are you making sure
everybody's having a wonderful day? That's my manager, Spencer. Yes, yes, sir,
I am Josh. If you showed them that they have
fast pass rides and can get to the front of
any line, I was actually we were just talking about that,
and we were talking about the food court Saturday French fries.
(05:37):
On your fast pass, you can go to the food lock.
What's up, Super, Sorry to interrupt the cheery conversation between
YouTube but Chico. Yeah, Michael Man over the Holy Cow
look at Michael. Michael May didn't mind. Josh. We're not
supposed to tell anybody my name is Steve manager, Steven Spencer,
(06:00):
Steven Hiss, he's a hundred dollard bill. Get the funk
out of my face. I just got a hundred dollars. Yeah,
but with that is get out of my face. Okay,
come out of here, Mr Angelotti. Yeah, you uh, you're
thinking what I'm thinking. Steve should go away. I'm thinking, Steve,
I'm thinking Mr Steve Spencer over, you should go away,
And I think Josh over you should take you over
(06:20):
to Mr Mans. You can tell them all about your
thing you were telling me about, Josh. You want what's
the spaces job? Steve Spencer, Um, well, I actually love
being on the floor. I love well, I just love
you want us to put you on the floor. I'm
already here. I don't understand. Yeah, that's Josh. We want
to meet Michael Man of course, a big shot there.
(06:41):
Right then? Have you seen that It's Too Hot? That
film he mean that he made It's Too Hot? Is
that why you see opening up the ride for it? Yeah,
it's amazing that film It's Too Hot ride. Second, does
it take place on the ride It's Too Hot? Yeah?
Well you relive the film It's Too Hot sim He's
based on it right like King Kong exactly. Yeah, he's
(07:03):
it's amazing. Do you know so much? But I got oh,
I gotta, I gotta one of the manual pass. It's
gotta stick around the bed. Oh do you really? Yeah,
it looks like it looks like it looks like a
French fry. Yes, it does. Yes. Don't you try to
don't you try to do this. Don't you try to
team up with me against my boss. I'm just surprised.
I'm excited. You're you're a wonder part member. That's amazing.
Would you would like to Mr Man fantastic? I can
(07:25):
do that because you have the fast pass. All right,
So he's got French fried, but we'll go off of
his past. Okay, great, I just started two French fries
when I get to the front. Okay, good, Sure you
do want to go into the food court. What I
would like from you is to take Chico over to
Mr Man totally of course, okay, and then Chico will
introduce me. I don't want you to introduce me to
Miss the Man. Okay, Fantastic, I understand, I understand. Okay,
(07:49):
when you're calling cards for me to hand to Mr
Man my gun, Yeah, you know your literal calling. I
mean you can hand him a gun if he needs
a gun. I'm sorry to say gun. No, no, not
came over? Okay, yeah you like butter on this or
or no? Yeah, go get some butter real quick. I'll
be right back. No, Boss, I don't, I don't. Why
(08:10):
would you hit him a gun? What makes you think
I got a card? I just I just assume what
you were calling on a guy. Assume you got a card.
Your a formal gentleman. What isn't that putty? You fucking
job Chico? And say, I represent Mr. And I'm your
calling caut okay, and this is what I'm I'm your boss,
your boss, you're the boss, Mr. Look, sir, I just
I can't get more pyrotechnics in here. I just it's
(08:32):
not possible. Look, the It's Too Hot ride needs to
reflect the It's Too Hot movie. I understand that, sir.
I understand that. But the movie is hot hot. It's hot, sir.
It's like I did heat already. You're familiar with heat.
It's iconic. Okay, yeah, it's iconic, but it's too hot.
It goes further than he and it's amazing. It's too
(08:54):
Hot is crazy. I love it. I've been making these
artsy movies for too long. I think it's time sold
out and did a theme park right movie. I agree
there the ARTSI heartzy and you know they're just starts.
Excuse me, that was just me speaking out, But I
believe they're just ARTSI partsy. That's just personal. Um. I
like that one I did with Jamie Fox driving Around
(09:16):
Time Cruise collaboral, thank you. Everything's collaborable. They just collaborated
and everything. That's not what that means collateral. I think
it's collaborable, and that's not collaborable. I think I would know.
I know the name of my own movie. I saw it.
I went to the theater to see it. Walter, did
you tell Mr Man that we can't have any more pyrotectonics? Yes?
(09:38):
What did you take the news? Did you take the news? Well,
Mr Walter, I did tell him. I want pyrotechnics. I
want pyro tectonics, which is winning and a fire or simultaneous. See,
here's the thing. There's a lot of people where unpredictable
amounts of hair spray and perfume and you'd never know
what's going to happen. We could be creating a dangerous
(09:59):
wonderful part of what we're doing is we're offering for
for only asbestos coats that the patrons wear, and then
they won't be burned asbestos. You mentioned hair spray. Remember
Daniel day Lewis's hair in the Last of the Mohicans directed, Well,
I let him grow out his hair for two years.
(10:19):
Did you direct that? Yes? I directed. I just told
you I directed them. I directed it. That doesn't mean
I did. That's why I was like, did you really? Okay?
Excuse me? Bullshit? Is hey you Michael Man? Yeah, my
boss wants to talk to you. That's I'm not one
of those instantly recognizable directors. But yeah, well from a distance, Hey,
(10:41):
you've been growing out for a couple of years, right,
I'm sorry? Is this okay? Mr? Man? Is this all right?
Do you? Is this okay? That he's screaming and asked
me to talk to you? You know, this guy feels
like a real person. Okay, this is somebody from the streets.
This is somebody who's seen life. I've seen life from
about forty one inches that's as high up as I
(11:01):
can see it. Nobody ever called me a real man
before Mr Man. What's your name? My name is that Chico,
Chico and the man look at that? Oh man, I
didn't I did not see that coming. My crew will
call me the Man because your last name is man.
That's part of it. I'll just I'll just off some popcorn.
(11:23):
I'm gonna get I don't need popcorn, okay, I god
damn popcorn all day. Hey, Mr Man, my boss really
wants to talk to you. Who's your buss? My boss?
Mr Angelotti, Gino Angelotti, Gino Angelotti, the Angelotti families. Yeah, oh,
the Angelotti families. Yeah, that's him. Yeah. You know, I
do a lot of films that Oh, here we go.
(11:46):
You know, I did Miami Vice, remember he Oh yeah,
this movie it's too hot. Is this a sequel because
it's a two in the middle of the name, you know,
it's more of a spiritual sequel. It has none of
the actors other than Val Kilmer. I'm gonna go get
my boss. Okay, okay, all right, chi Yeah, what is it?
(12:06):
I'm still standing over here by the clowns. Man boy,
that Mr Man boy, I want a sale track. I
really apologize. He can go on and on. That guy
can talk for a while I don't see a track. No,
he don't. My boss doesn't want to see a freaking trick. Uh,
what is it? Boss? I would like this inquisitory clown
(12:27):
to get out of my fish. Inquisitory clowns. You want
to get it out of my boss? Mr Angelotti's face?
Oh you got it? Hurt him? Heard anybody's walking away?
Justay what? I really didn't like the size of his shoes.
It was the most offensive pot So let me ask
you something. Am I gonna make Mr? Man? Yeah? Mr
(12:49):
Man's right away? Every want I think I heard him? Good?
Mr Man's right over there. He wants to talk to you.
Ready to make the election? I'm ready to make the introduction.
You tell him who wanted to make him? I did
tell him, wanted to meet him. Was he familiar with
at all? With me? He was familiar with Gino Angelotti?
He was, yeah, looking at that all right? You got
one of cars. Hi. He's from Chicago, right, Michael Man?
Michael Man, I'm pretty sure he's from Chicago. He's from Chicago,
(13:13):
Chico over here kind of? Mr Angelo? Yeah? What is it?
Michael Man? Did you talk to Mr Angelotti? I did?
Is he willing to meet with me. He's willing to
meet what you want. You want see him. He's right
over there. I mean we're making that contact. We're gonna say,
we're about twenty ft away at this point. All right, Uh,
Mr Man, may I introduce my boss? Gino Angelot? Is
(13:36):
that Michael Man? What is that? Gino Angelotti? It's a pleasure.
Thank you very much for that, Mr Man. Actually, pleasure
call me, Mike, really call me Gino please, Chico, Yes, Gino,
can you get me a lemonade? Yeah? You want to
thank Mike. He just called your Gino. I'll go get
(13:56):
your lemonade. I'd love it. I'd love the lemonade. Jacob. Yes,
two lemonades for Mr Man and Mr Gino Ancelotti. The
greatest boss I ever had. Boss is fine? All right?
What brings you to Wonder Park? Well? I heard about this.
It's too hot, right, yeah. And it's a movie. It's yeah,
(14:21):
it's both. It's both. It's a movie. Right, So I
gotta tell you look at this. Oh I'm the Wizard
of Wonder Buck. Yes, okay, we don't we don't know.
Two old men but young boys at heart. Yes, huh.
Wish a wish from the Warlock. Huh a child's wish
(14:42):
from the Warlock of Wonder Bark, gotta wish granted? What
is your wish? You turn into a frog? Frog right now?
Turn into a frog right now? Oh that's not it.
Ribb it say ribbit so close myself. Yeah, keep pissing
(15:09):
yourself so that as a frog. Start to get a
little aquatic. Okay, okay, I'll get out of here. Get
out of here. Real nice meeting. Pleasure me, Mr Mann Pleasure.
How does he know it's me? It's so strange. You
have one of the most recognizable How did you not
know that you're from Chicago? Rig from Chicago. I did
a film called Thief with Jimmy con and that's really one.
(15:30):
Oh please, I can recyite most of the dialogue. Really
want what's your favorite line? You want to do a
couple of scenes? I mean, I got it in the chamber.
I'm ready to go. Sure, Sure you want to be Jimmy,
I'll be Jimmy. Okay, Well I like that, all right,
it'll be tuesday. Well, oh I like that even more. Uh.
You tell you something about that Jimmy con fellow. He
(15:50):
had a strut, You had a way of walking you know.
I mean, obviously Sonny Carlone, maybe the most iconic. Uh.
But I had to have a question for you directing
a guy like that. I mean, really, here's your popcorn?
Sorry about that? Mr Angelino? Oh Mr, how are you? Sir? An? Okay,
(16:10):
sorry about that? No one asked I'm a film get
off with popcorn one of the perks. I'm sure, sir,
it's not a perk at all. It's it's truly. Well,
is there anything else I can help you with it?
I was just giving Mr get the funk out of here? Okay,
well said? Okay, um, you know the expression to take
it on the atches architecture walk away? Oh okay? Um.
(16:33):
I'm just I was supposed to be. I'm supposed to
be your handler for the day, sir. And yea, I
look like a fellow who needs handling. No, so I
just may I'm supposed to help guide you. He handles you,
you don't handle him. I didn't even see this. Oh
my god? How does everyone know the millimeter my gun?
The caliber? Rather, you don't mind if I write down
(16:58):
some of your dialogue to make it a thing? Yeah,
I mean, I don't want to be misrepresented exactly as
a person doesn't know the difference from the millimeter in
the Callaghan millimeter and a calendar. It work, the dental
work done. It's fine that the teeth and the tongue
not working. Should I should not give you popcorn? Is
(17:19):
that gonna hurt? How did you know this was a
forty gun? I can tell from the barrel size on
the barrel side. So I point my gun at you
and the first thing you're looking at is the barrels. Yeah,
I'm looking at with the bullets. It's going to come
out of what the bullets gonna come out of? That? Smart? Yeah,
where's the bullet going? Well, where you're pointing that, it's
(17:39):
gonna go through my lungs, both of them probably, I'm
thinking just the left one. Well, if I turned sideways,
they can go through both. Well, but the heart is
on the left side, which is why I'm choosing the
left side. So taking on the atches, I understand. But
my heart moves Mr. Mr Man, Uh yeah, Mike not
(18:00):
you know, just spread. But the Jimmy can't can be
a little difficult. He was a little difficult at th
you know, but you should be honest. I heard you
can be a little difficult. That's right. I'm a bit
of a prick, are you right? You know that me
and Christopher Plumber. You know when I was beming the
Insider about the guy who took down the cigarette industry
throughout sixty minutes that the Australian actor Fella, yeah, Russ Crowe,
(18:22):
there we go. Yeah, I was working with Chris Plumber.
He was playing Mike Wallace. Yeah. And hey, Mr Angel,
Jesus christ Mr ANGELI I got you your lemonade. I
got you a lemonade. To Mr Man, he said to
get two lemonades. Also, Mr Man, I got you this popcorn,
son of a bitch. People keep offering me popcorn movie
(18:46):
director popcorn. I'm sorry, yeah, what is it? Mr Anchel,
I believe you offended. Mr Man. I apologize for a
friend that you, Mr Managed the Man. I'm gonna ask
Chicko if he needs all ton of his fingers and thumbs,
and if he does, you pick which one he's gonna lose. Okay,
this is great. I'm gonna write down some of the
s did you really do? Though? And tonight only we
(19:07):
have a special exclusive clip of Michael Mann director It's
too Hot in the Dumpling series, breaking a man's fingers.
Do you have something to say about this? I think
that it's pretty important that we see the way that
these stars are acting in public. It's unacceptable. Let's roll
the clip, let's roll it. No, this is fun. This
(19:27):
is actually fun. Right, So you can just snip this one,
but it's not better to get a nice clean snip. Okay.
There are children in the background. They're watching his fingers
getting clipped right off the end, won Park. I mean,
this is gonna definitely affect the rides opening, and even
if he's going to have a deal with them going forward,
we know that he's part of Universal Pictures and that's
definitely gonna affect some deals absolutely, And I think, okay,
(19:53):
of course, I'm okay, But you know what, there's some
Mothers against Wonder Park going on, and there's a good
chance that the boycotts gonna I think shut down. We
are mouth. We are malp players against Wonder Park. We
are mouth. We are mouth Wonders against Wonder Wonders against
Mother Park. We have a representative of that here with
us in the office, and let's just go to her now, Janice, Okay,
(20:17):
so you're a Mother against Wonder fact, that's right, wear
a malp and what is your major disagreement with the park? Well,
the danger of the rides. There's one that's pyro tectonic,
meaning that there's earthquakes and fires at the same time.
And we saw a name recognizable director, somebody so iconic
you would immediately know who he was walking double Yes,
(20:40):
it's Michael Man cutting off a midget with a cigar cutter. Wow,
that's awful, that's awful. I also saw a wizard who
had fully pissed his robes. Okay, And and this is
enough of the Mother's against Wonder Park to help Jannis.
(21:01):
Thank you so much. We also have a pr representative
for Michael Man on the line. Uh, Duncan, you're on
go for it? Yes? Uh? I would you like to
say that my client was completely and utterly misrepresented as
a unique individual who was there to oversee an important
day in the history of the park as well as
all of entertainment. So he was misrepresented as a unique individual. Yes,
(21:25):
because artistic integrity often involves what others might perceive as violence. Understood,
Thank you Duncan. It was a pleasure talking to you.
Who is this this is a Bruce Tristal for E Network.
Already you called for what you called into us as
a PR representative for Michael May. Are you okay, Duncan,
(21:48):
is this actually other thing? All right? Okay? Well that
was that was Duncan representing Michael Man. Are you sure
that that's the correct PR representative? High? Sorry, but this
is seeming like it's an unprepared interview. What he's doing.
I got journalists. Oh no, we are. Okay, Chico, you're
(22:10):
basically playing yourself in this scene, and you're gonna be
opposite Mr Jimmy Con, Mr Man, we have some popcorn
for you. Okay, thank you. I am currently directing so
constantly popcorning while I direct. But the second we wrap,
the second I call cut, you're gonna take the popcorn away.
(22:31):
It's a popcorn away. I lost fingers because in a
popcorn Okay, that's good. That's good, Chico, use it, use it.
So you're gonna be opposite Jimmy Conn in this scene.
He's going to be a little intense. Yeah, he's got
that strike. He's gonna Jimmy's gonna strut in and he's
gonna beat the ship out and se oh, man boy,
(22:54):
man man, what a man? No man? I love he?
Why is he so angry about pop? It's too hot?
Was that intended to be? Yeah? I didn't want to
eat so good? All right? Seen number two comes in,
John Road, Hey, there up your show. I never missed
(23:16):
an episode. Thank you for that, Joan. I listened during
my daily commute when I go out for long runs,
and when I go out for long runs here in
the beautiful Colorado scenery. Wow, it seems like he's pitching
to us a little bit. I'd be a member of
the James Tene fan Club if we could only get
that darn charter approved my idea for an episode. Neanderthals
(23:43):
may have been smarter than we previously thought, and history
may have given them a bad rap. I'd love to
hear a conversation between these smarter cavemen and women. Wow,
and they're less than cave mates. Thanks for everything you do,
John Zar Niki, love your work, professor. I've just asked.
(24:07):
I just estivated the area over here, and we found
some excavator what's excavated? Sorry, just found some rudimentary tools.
Let me be the decider of rudimentary Yes, huh. This
looks like a USB charging port. Yes, very rudimentary. Yes,
and that's strange. And you found this here? Yes, yes,
(24:31):
it's about down. Wow, this is incredible. I mean, right
next to the remains of the Neanderthals. It seems as
if we've been miss misrepresenting the smartness. Mike, Mike, you
have you have Donggle. I can borrow you you you're
(24:54):
gonna borrow my Doggle. I need borrow Dougle. Yeah, get
your room. Doggle store not open. I can't go get
my own dongles store open at nine. I need dongle
night tonight. Now, okay, you you you borrow dongle now,
but you give Donggle back immediately. Promise give Donggle back immediately.
I need just true knight tomorrow. I get dongle and
(25:17):
replace your dongle. Okay, is fair? May I borrow laptop.
It seems as if there's quite a bit of extraordinary
technology down here. Rudimentary technology, I completely. I mean it's
I don't think you're using the word rudimentary correctly. Well,
it's an art professor, I mean, only the end of flow.
Because of the era. It came from a history. Of course,
(25:40):
there's no way they're smarter than us, so they're at
the same level. This is a rock book. Pro Look
at it still has I can't believe it. It still works.
It's function. Oh my gosh, this changes everything. This changes
it's all your papers. I mean, it's just if it
comes out into public. But my papers have written in
books with ink. No, we have to tell the pot
can't tell the public. The people need to know this.
(26:03):
We are burying this back down wyoming and hear me out,
um use your words. Come on, come on, Goodchuck. I
think you miss he made pooh. I can see he
(26:25):
made pooh, and yeah, I evolve already. Ask for request?
You ask for a request, Mike, you're talking to Homo
sapiens again. Request? Uh uh? You follow me? Follow him? Okay?
(26:51):
You follow him on on social media? Yes, you want
me to follow you on social follow him? Yes? Okay?
Well what have you posted lately? Gave gave wa finger,
he made pooh, make pooh thing? Okay, I'm not gonna
(27:12):
follow you just to see the pools that you made. Okay,
and you had a successful hunt. Yes, follow him? Okay,
all right, I'm gonna follow alight. I'm following for now.
How are you all right? Now? I've got you tied
(27:34):
up down here. You aren't going to escape. You're the
worst intern I've ever had. You're supposed to be an
archaeologist intern. They stay silent. Wake up, wake up? Huh
are you awake? Are you with me? Huh? All right?
(27:55):
Who knows that you're with me? Out here at this site?
A whole bunch of people. I need themes. I just
tweeted it out before I got here. Where's your phone?
It's in my back pocket. What's your password to seven?
Go on? It's just seven? The word seven, yes, but
spelled with numbers five, three, V, three and v and
(28:19):
and aren't numbers? Well, I luke Luke. I'm a professor.
My whole career accounts on the things I've written being true.
This information comes out. I'm through, and then you've been
following a dumb professor this whole time. Dr I have
(28:41):
a question for you. Uh well, First of all, big
fan of the book, thank you, thank you, um most
are yeah, well listen, that's why we're here. But so
I'm a little confused in the opening chapter when you,
as you say, uh, digress and put yourself back in
the place where these Neanderthals lived, and how it was
(29:03):
even possible that they could have any sort of technology
at all given the rudimentary instruments they had to work with. Well,
when I digressed and talked about going back to the
time of the Neanderthals, I don't think that the world
writ large understood what I meant when I said that
I went back to the time of the Neanderthals. I
(29:23):
think the world thinks I meant that I was saying
I was studying it, when in fact I went back
to the time of the the Neanderthals, and I accidentally
left a backpack that had two iPads, a laptop, and
several dongles. And follow up questions, Yes, why the two iPads,
because I one of them is for work and one
(29:45):
of them is for just playing Matchington's manor I see,
And how is it that you were able to transport
back in time? Well, that really that the technical specs
of it are probably probably beyond your comprehension. Set down
this lecture, the professor, would you come with us for
a second time? It's doctor. The professor is the madman
who put a guy the happy I had I determined titles.
(30:07):
Why don't you come with me? All right? Getting back
of this car? Wow, this is this is roomy? What
is this? It's a Fiat fist a weird roomy Fiat. Yes,
we have reason to believe that you went back in
time and then because because I was just talking about
it on a stage. Yes. Have you seen Stargate? Yeah,
(30:27):
I've seen star Stark, So you know the one that
the lady gets the guy in the end of the movie.
You've seen that. I've seen the part in the movie.
What was your favorite part of the movie. Look, I'm
just trying to move this along, so am I. What
was your favorite part of the movie when they walked
through the star Gate? Right, yeah, all right, you can
get out of the car, thank you. I told you
was when you walked to the circuit um. It looks
(30:53):
like someone's in a little trouble with FBI. Yeah. Look
I had to I didn't know where to go, so
I just came back here. I really need my backpack.
It's my backpack. Now. Look, Mike, you've done amazing things
here in Neanderthal times. You you've invented social media for
(31:13):
these people. You have you have a bigger brain than
anyone ever imagined. Let me go back to the world
and tell them about this. I just need you to
give me my backpack, and then you'll be the most
famous Neanderthal in history. Here's your backpack, I mean the
stuff that was this stuff? Oh but you asked for
the backpack? All right, let's not be people not precise
(31:36):
with words. In nineteen here we go the backpackers for
a pool. Who ship in my backpack? The Homo sapiens did? Yeah,
that was all right? Look, okay you want I can
give you one of your right beds back. Is it
the one that you just got a video game on it?
(31:57):
Nobody needs two eye beds. Give me the one that
I used for work then, please? Okay, all right, hold on,
let me put my password in. Yes, okay, this isn't
the work one. That's the work one. Can I have
the work one? Please? All right? Thanks? And the and
the rock book pro. It's very cute that you changed that.
That's really I don't even know where you got a
sharp you did rock book bro trademark? Mike, Just give
(32:21):
me all my stuff back. And I'm missing it looks
like I'm missing one dongle Um, I'm gonna need to
keep the dongle. Why do you need to keep the dongle?
Am I gonna charge with the dongle? Well, saber two
tiger God, we have all the things gone that we excavated.
(32:43):
Where's the rock book? Pro? It seems to have just
disappeared in front of me. I don't know. I'm tied up.
You get me tied up. I don't know what a
bitch you've been hiding the things that we've taken. I
can't find the dongles, the USB charge that they all evaporated.
It's possible that if the time loop was created, an
individual who gave the things in the past went back
there and took them that they would disappear in our present. Now,
(33:04):
all right, I'm gonna untie you, but only because you
have certain information that I find necessary. Okay, So what
were you saying about a time scoop? It's a time scoop.
It's when someone goes back in time and plans things,
any artifacts right or the imprint with them on being
and changed the ripple of time. But to go back
(33:27):
to that point in time where they were and then
reverse the actions they took to set stop stop pool, stop,
stop hurting my brain. But the good news is this
is apparently not me being wrong. Someone's messed with the
time continuum. Did you just step on butterfly? You just
(33:47):
step on butterfly? No, Mike, I step on butter You
step on butterfly? What? What? What's wrong with stepping on butterfly?
It could change the entire timeline? Oh? Just me stepping
on butterfly changed change titling for for who? For us?
Mr Man? I'm sorry. We're not gonna do heat. Okay,
we're not gonna do it. What we're not going to
do stupid lined up? Oh those two drug addicts, No,
(34:11):
thank you, We're not working with them. All right, We're
not doing it. Okay. Look, DeNiro has made a movie
since uh bus driving, right, and I'm bringing him out
of retirement. That's stupid rom com. No one liked it,
all right, it was bad. It was a bad was
a great rom com? Alright? Mr Man, I'm sorry. Okay,
Look you can I get more popcorn? I love popcorn. Look,
(34:34):
we only get popcorn to directors, all right. I am
a director working directors. Eight Geno Gino, get over here.
Oh jeez, so yeah, Mr fink. Is that Michael Man
over there? You know I think it is. I want
you to go get that guy in the nuts right
(34:55):
here at Creation Park. Okay, so kick him, kick him
square in the nuts in the car. All right, just
walk up and do it induced myself. How does this work? Mr? Forgan?
I just want you to know that here at Quation Park,
we gave you some steady passes, so you're gonna be
able to ride the rides at your leisure with everyone else. Right.
(35:18):
What's this circle on the back mean? That means that
you're able to use any of our restroom facilities whenever
they're available. Wait, how do you think that's going to change? Timeline?
It's gonna be pretty similar. A few names will change,
some social dynamics will reverse. Heat won't get ride? All right, Luke,
(35:43):
what do you know about time travel? Who taught you
what you know? We need to bring it back to
the way it was. Is it a time plane? What
is it? It's more of a gate, a gate? What
kind of gate? It's fenced? It's a fenced gate, fence gatebo.
Do you know how we can get that? Welcome to
Larry's House of Gates? How can I help you, gentlemen,
(36:04):
we're looking for a time gate. I'm famous the first
time I've heard this. You're looking for the time gate,
the time gate that will take you back in time
so you can correct mistakes that were made from someone's
not almost take someone's mistakes, mistakes done the less right.
And uh, that's the same for you, sir. Yes, I'm
I'm with him. Here with him, don't mind the bruises
(36:26):
on his face. What size would you like to time gate?
Big enough for two people to walk through simultaneously? Your sizes? Yes,
our exact sizes. What are you about? Six seven? I
think about six seven? Yes, But I'm willing to dock
as long as it's why nothing to you to pass through?
About right? Okay, you're ducked down of like five eight? Sure?
(36:49):
All right? That's a doctor. Are you sure I've played limbo?
If if you haven't ducked at six seven by this
age of your life, then you haven't been living. I mean,
you're gonna be pretty much at five degree angle. But
I just need to know you can actually get through
a gate. I need to know that this gate will
take me back in time. Yeah, that's not a problem. Okay,
it's not a problem. I can bend over everything at
(37:11):
six ft or something or no one year we'd like
to go back to. Maybe we should go somewhere else
if it's going to be a gentleman. I'm not here
to sell unless you're here to buy. So we're here
to buy. But we're just you know, we just figure
with having to bend over to get through a time?
Can I talk to you for a second. I just
don't feel like that's appropriate, you know. I think you
should get the gate that like fits you. I don't
(37:32):
know how much time we have to fix the time.
It's running out every second. Matter seems like it's spinning
out of control completely. I mean, but we need something
that you feel comfortable with. Right, right, we'll go somewhere else. Okay,
we're going to take our business elsewhere, lovely. Do you
know of another place that sells taller time gates? A
gate that allows you to go through in time, but
(37:53):
just just slightly larger? Yes? No, I don't. Okay, come on, Luke,
let's go. Let's go to home depot. I think they
some I'll see you tune about thirty seven minutes. How
do you know this? Never mind? Welcome to home depot.
I am groc what how can I help you? H
we're looking for looking for a time gate gate, a
(38:15):
time gate that I can walk four times for a
man who's as tall as you. Okay, uh okay, um,
I'll see what we have. Um. I mean time gates
are typically smaller. Capacity is usually around five eight, right,
(38:35):
But we're just looking for something that you know, wouldn't
I mean for as his height. Okay, okay, it's like
a custom time kate. We can get possibly my splooke,
let's just go back to its customer do custom. But
going to be more expensive. I mean, I think that's fine. Honestly,
it's going to be more comfortable to go back to
the dollars. I think the university could pay for that.
(38:57):
If that's a two million dollars, that's a lot for
a time make it back in gambling. No, it doesn't matter,
all right, all right, that's the scene too. We just
right at that time as the time gate was open,
were last thing today come from Spud? Spud that's right,
(39:19):
who wrote love the show. But like so many others,
I can't listen at work because hiding the laughter is
too stressful. James ceney more like James Heinie. It's a
good one. That's a good one. In breentheses my kid
because I love Uh. Here's a concise topic. Florida mac,
(39:44):
Florida man wins a trip across the world from the
McDonald's monopoly competition and x accordingly eagerly awaiting from Jacksonville,
Florida spud. Uh sorry sorry, have a question off here
over here now here with the hat. Yes, Now that
(40:06):
you've won your trip across the world from the McDonald's
monopoly competition, how will you act? I'm going to finally
act like people have been treating me my whole life
like ship starting now. Question U ues question. Question? The
question in front? Question is that me? Yes? Are you
wanting me? You're looking at me, said the gentleman next
(40:26):
to you. Question a question? Is it for me or
for him? Question? Okay? But question is who are you
talking to I'm talking to your question? I have a question.
Are you talking and I'm talking to your question? Are
you looking or talking to me? Question about question? Motherfucking me?
You have a question? Are you talking to me? I
am talking to you? Are question? I have a question?
(40:47):
Who are you questioning? Are you are you looking at me?
I have a question, I have a questions. Have a question? Okay, question? Yes,
what's your question? Florida and statement? Uh, I'm winning the
trip around the world. Thank you? Question how question? Question?
(41:09):
I need someone to remove this man from the room.
He is trolling me. Question question How many trips to
McDonald's did it take in order to secure all the
game pieces in order to win? I actually didn't eat there.
I found them in the trash cans. I spent a
great deal of time rummaging through trash camps. Question question
I question. You have been bothering me all day, sir,
(41:30):
ever since I've won. You stalked me. You're outside of
my house, you are in front of my car. What
I'm trying to back out? What is your problem? Question?
Who is the question? Man? Well, you've been asking yourselves
that for a long long time. After saying the footage
we just showed, yet again, we've got him exclusively on
the show today. Please welcome the question man. I I Charlie,
(41:52):
pleasure to be here. Uh tell me where did you
get your particular style that the whole world is just
buzzing about of asking questions? Well, Charlie that's an interesting question.
Un Originally what happened was as a kid, I would
always have always had an inquisitive nature, so I found
it natural to ask questions. But your question seemed to
(42:14):
be just repeating the word question. Thanks, Charlie. That's an
interesting question. I always think about as a way to
ask a question, is you have to first ask a question?
So and everyone's calling you the question guy? Do you
want to tell everyone what your name is? Yes, Charlie,
that's a great question. My name is Darius Rucker. I
I live outside of a CVS on third and and
(42:35):
mel Rose, and I just want everyone to know that
there is if I can do it, so can you.
I love CVS, they really do. Sorry terribly sorry. I
didn't know that interview would make you so upset. I'm
that man has been bothering me. I think he's jealous
of my winnings. You're that one onto you? What do
you mean that one? You don't recognize my face? I said,
(42:56):
fuck O. I'm the winner of the Monopoly World Champion
and ship and I'm traveling the world now. Congratulations. Would
would you hotel? Is it that I can drop your
fat that are full right here? And I want the
tallest hotel one. You just want me to take you
to the bring me to the tallest hotel. Can you
understand me? Now? Yes? I can. Jesus Florida mano, I
(43:23):
can you know what? I'm just going to turn the
radio back on. Don't turn the radio one. I like
the Charlie. That was a great question. And if there's
something that I know for a fact is that if
we ask a question, we'll probably get an answer. And
I have a question for you. Are there any questions
that you've asked that actually makes some sort of sense
(43:44):
that then provoke an answer. Charlie, that's a great question.
I think my original question to the Florida man who
won the McDonald's millions and travel the world, I think
that's the most revenue one, and that question is why
aren't you spending that money where it should be back
in Florida. Okay, Charlie, this is your producer and your headset.
We've done some research. Darius Rucker is the lead singer
of Hoody and the Blow. Let me ask you a
question and Melrose, do not intersect. So a couple of
(44:07):
a couple of follow up questions, if I may, Yes, Charlie,
Darius Uh. It's interesting to me and the folks who
work at the show here that you happened just happened
to have the same name as the frontman for the
iconic group during a nine minute window called Hooty and
the Blowfish, Darius Rucker. And also that you said you
(44:27):
lived a third in Melrose. Those streets run perpendicular parallel.
Thank you. My purnises in my ear is giving me
the wrong information. They run parallel, so they would never Actually,
that's a great question, Charlote. I have an answer that question.
I am Darris Rucker from Hohody in the Blowfish, and
I have a lot of you. Please turn the radio.
Thank you. I apologize for being so rude to you,
(44:51):
but it's just that I've I've had a rough life.
Tell me we're about it. I don't want to talk
about the rough time. Now you opened the door. That's right.
I'm a winner. You might have been a get the
hell out of Talahassee, but I I pay rents here Danesville.
(45:13):
But your daughter and I are in love. I I
feel like I ain't know away from my goddamn daughter,
I ain't in love with you. A piece of ship.
But you we went to prom together. We were high school.
We went to prom together. And I'll let you touch
my feet and I'll get the funk out of here. Daddy,
he put his seat inside of her. Well, listen, I
don't know if that's true or not. If I did that,
(45:35):
I would love to marry her. I'm gonna feed you
to the God. Ok you can'm leaving. Okay, I'm leaving
Tallahassee by loser. You guys are gonna regret it one
day when I make it big. How you gonna do
the hard work? Drummaging a Monopoly games again, Monopoly contest?
(45:57):
You can get a park place? Would you never get?
Dad knows also that money's face and so many people
had written me off. But there I am getting the
last piece of boardwalk and park place. What are the
odds of both of them? Several million to one, I suppose.
But it turns out you're more likely to be struck
(46:19):
by lightning a hundred times and win the game. Right?
Is that why your hair is so white in spots? Well,
that's honestly just malnutrition. I was. I had been eating
out of the garbage for a great night time. That's odd.
What when the rear view mirror keeps gunning right behind
us with his hand waving in the air. Do you
think he's trying to do you think he's trying to
(46:40):
stop you? I don't know. It sounds like he's going.
Question what he's healing? Question that Darius Rocker? Question question,
Oh my god, go go faster? I know that man. Okay,
can you lose him? I can try, sir, but I'm
not gonna prefer it this. Okay? Well, well, maybe maybe
(47:04):
if you just pull into a private parking lot where
he can't come in. I'll try. I'll try my best,
but most parking lots are quite wide open. Sir. All right,
I'll just sit here in this parking lot and he
has pulled up right behind us. Question. Question what do
you wanted? You'll have to roll down the question? Question? Question? Question? Question?
(47:26):
Are you talking to me? Question? I have a question
for you. There's a question for you looking at me? Question?
Would you like me to drive off? So maybe if
you just I will give you a hundred thousand dollars
if you kill this man? Right us? Dear god? Question
my god? What they said about Florida to Mann is right?
(47:47):
Take photo wait, don't make LORI and we have new
footage here and of the Florida man who won those
million dollars killing Darius Rucker from Booty and the Bluefish. Janie,
are you okay? I can't. I can't believe watching this footage,
just a man being killed on camera, wild wild, that's insane.
(48:11):
I can't believe. Clive. I have a question for you
before I give you this taxi driver's license, one last question.
If you are offered from a patron a total sum
of one hundred thousand pounds, of course, to let's just say,
do weay with someone? My goodness, never precisely? So your
(48:34):
answer is never? Never? How about two hundred thousand pounds.
Everyone wants a number, client, I do not have a number, sir,
six hundred thousand pounds. I still, I still would not
do it. I still recall you and Gloria were thinking
(48:56):
of getting a new home. So this is why is
it regular? This line of questioning? Is there anything that
you'd like me to know or do? Or is there
something you're not telling me? Yes? Would you like to
tell me? Can? I? I don't think he's ready for
the cabman. I don't die either, did you hear what
(49:18):
he said about six hundred thousand accusing me of wanting
to kill someone? I did? Is there any last question
I can ask him that might allow him to join
the cabman was asking me, what would you do if
you had all the pieces to a monopoly ball? Happily
welcome back for the following up question and now trying
(49:40):
to remove all thoughts about our conversation about you accepting
money to do away with someone. Of course, this is
the question that matters, moved. What would you do if
you were to receive each end, every piece from a
monopoly ball? Mm? Hmm, that you do? You mean the
(50:00):
McDonald's game Monopoly board. Let's say yes, Well, I think
perhaps i'd like to tour America all the way from
Tallahassee to Gainesville. What brings you here? It turns out
I've one the McDonald's monopoly game, Oh Ship. Nobody ever
wins those? Daddy I wanted the scene in him, He
(50:21):
talks for that's you dumb now. I'm not not you
dumb now. I can speak quite well. So you Seminals fan,
you Gators fan. The siminar picture is important. Better pick
right scept the Seminars are a tribe of Native Americans.
I assume they've boy right. Um, well, I would always
(50:44):
choose man over alligators. I hear that quite dangerous. Seminal.
Good choice, good choice, good chores. You're smart guy. Also,
I saw signs that said go seminals all over town.
Right about those big Confederate flags, Yeah, they're party. It's
that quite beautiful. Um. What do you call your flag? FLA?
(51:04):
We call it a union jack. What's that mean? Well,
it's the union of all the If I take my
shoes off, as you can see my feet, Um, all right,
please take make yourself comfortable. Captain number toes she's got
on her left foot. Oh my goodness, that is more
than most. That is seven eight. Oh oh, there's a
(51:26):
little tiny when I didn't see it first. English Man,
you won't go to the multiplex with us tonight. It's
too hot as primarily it's a Michael Mayn bill. You
got tons of pyro tectonics. Yeah, that's where the earthquakes
and far like a Volkana. Now, now, Gainesville is not
far from Orlando, right one? And one that that wonder
(51:48):
part that's that's down near Orlando. That is one thing
I like you'd like to see wonderful. I would like
to see why well, I'd like to see all the prides.
And there's a there's a particular clown now that I
like as a sorcerer. I've had contending to a frog.
You've been waiting for this really coaster along. Yeah, I've
(52:08):
been waiting for the this roller coast for a very
long time. I've been standing in this line for nearly
eight hours. I count to the United States, but not
for this. Well, you know it's it's worth it here
when you get to the front of the line, like,
it's pretty great right at the front of the line. Pass. Look,
you don't need to play the school. I know that
you recognize me. I didn't want to say anything, but
(52:35):
I could. I could tell upon immediately seeing it. Sorry,
excuse me, Mr Man Popcorn, Thank you. I love popcorn
in this timeline. And that is our show for today.
Oh baby boy, take me home and make me stink.
Thanks to today. All of our alcumis starting with James
c Need. James, thanks for having me check out the
(52:55):
real James he Need dot com. Alright, fine, Greigski, thank
you so much. Been here my pleasure. Drunk History three
Emmy nominations. Probably you're probably associated with the show of
everybody at this table who got the most. Congratulations to
you as well, Mark Aglee aready, Yes, sir, thanks for
(53:17):
having me. Blood and Treasure Tuesdays at ten on CBS.
So damn excited for season two. Congratulations again on that. Uh,
Joseph of Greer, we got Bear Supply, second and fourth
Wednesday's nine o'clock a West Side Comedy. That's correct. We
also got uh this is going live shows, uh like
one Sunday a month, the first Sunday of every month.
And Alchemy. This will be live on stage of the
(53:39):
West Side Comedy with you the first Sunday of every
month at nine pm. Back we're talking Emmy's all right.
I was. I was on a show called Dream Corps
LLC swim show. They're nominated. Vote for them, alright. They
nominated for the animation I believe, Oh sweet, and you
did what now? I was just I was improvising in
the dark behind every for the robot. What did you
(54:02):
get a little sampling what the robot sounded like? Honestly,
just like this. I didn't try to do any voice,
no wonder, no wonder. They got nominated. Thank our engineer
at the Stars Richard doc Band and our post sound
design artist Rafael Brito and of course obviously producer and
so very talented. So if you're like me, and lastly,
(54:24):
of course I heard media, I encourage Bology to write
a review. Please please, please tell everyone you've ever met
and right to us at your name here at alcovey
this dot com that it's your name here at alcovey
this dot com. I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. Until next time,
Alchemy This News
Host
Kevin Pollak
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