A disgraced scientist’s tries his hand as a history museum guide… Citizens of a Television City, CA, would like a word with the town council… Lunchtime at a Rain Forrest Café, and one waiter is instantly weeded.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This I'm your host,
Kevin Pollock. Yes that Kevin Pollock's sure. If that's why
you want to play it, your move, monkey boy, But
I digress. Let's meet our alchemists for today in particular order.
Please say hello and how do you do to Vanessa
Raglan Vaniche? Do you remember what your last locker combination was? No,
(00:24):
not even at the time. Sorry, you're constantly asking people.
I had to have it written down in my backpacks.
I ended up just sharing my best friends locker because
I'm not good the number. Couldn't you question the lock
with a key? You can't do that? Request locker with
a key? Oh, I'd like a different style. Yeah, you
(00:47):
didn't work for me. You didn't go to the all
men's military elementary school like James. Power of the People.
It's Craig atkowski y. If you could create and teach
a new high school course, what would be how to
get the funk out of as soon as single most
popular class in the history. That's right, illuminated your mind.
(01:13):
There's James Heeney, Jimmy Jackalope, ken straight talking kid from
the Midwest. Ever get far a fair shaking the city.
I fooled myself with my horrible typing on Kevin translating,
let's try it again, Jimmy Jacklope, kind of straight talking
(01:36):
kid from the Midwest. Ever get a fair shake in
the city. I mean, the city is definitely shaking me,
that's for sure. Who you gonna call? It's Joey Grair
stir down there? Yeah, um, what the hell Joey Greer? Uh?
The end is Greaer. What's that smell? Bo? Yeah? Oh man,
(02:00):
I love that smell that Greer sweet? Be you all right?
Let's get to our first scene showing all of today's
It's seen. Suggestions were gathered from our listeners emails. If
you'd like to sus to make yours, please write to
the podcast at your name here at alchemy this dot com.
That's your name here at alchemy this dot com. Our
first scene today indeed comes from a listener. His name
is Rob, who wrote, Hi, guys, I've been listening ever
(02:22):
since day one, and your podcast has become a treat
to listen to with a cold beverage after a long
day of monkeying around with spreadsheets and data nonsense at work.
Dare I say it's the only thing getting me through
Tuesdays and Thursdays. Ah No, I don't, he wrote. Uh.
My suggestion is this disgraced scientist takes a job as
(02:45):
a museum guide in a small town in an effort
to spread his groundbreaking and revolutionary grand theory of everything
to the confused and unprepared visitors. Keep up the good work,
Rob Plymouth, UK, United Kingdom. I like the impressionists. Where
are the impressionists? This is nature and nature and history museums,
(03:08):
so we don't really have impressions water lilies, Well, the
water lilies are in the botanical section here. Yeah, I
work here. Okay, so we came to see her. Where
are we going? This is a This is the National
History Museum, right, So are there paintings? I mean it
was a different museum a moment ago. Are you sure?
(03:29):
You said yes? Where would we see the paintings? Like, well,
there are paintings, but there are paintings of old history.
This is the National History Museum. This is the National
History Museum. It doesn't seem what's the national part mean? Well, honestly,
it's uh. I believe it stands for international because a
(03:49):
lot of these things come from all over the way
international Internet. Rick, this is the Museum of Natural History,
Natural History. Well, at first you said this is the
Museum of Nature and History, implying that there are two
(04:11):
different ways, and then you said National History, and then
you said national stands for international, which I think it
almost completely doesn't other dude, Yes, other paintings we could
see here. This is not an art museum. Thank you.
I am so sorry for misleading you, but yes, thank you.
(04:32):
But there are things that are painted. Where can I
get a postcard or some of the paintings here? I'm
in the going to You came up at the perfect time.
There's no paintings here, but there's postcards right here. We
have postcards in our gift show. Isn't this the Nature
and History Museum? Oh it's not. I'm sorry to you
(04:52):
a little bit earlier. I don't pay taxes for this?
Is that right? You don't pay taxes for this? That
is right? Do you pay taxes? Man? I do pay taxes.
Do I not pay taxes? I have no idea if
you pay taxes anyone this guy's account. How do we
know if you pay your taxes? Dude? Okay, the eleven
o'clock tour is about to start. Yeah, so Rick? Is
(05:14):
it almost eleven o'clock? Safe in Rick's hands? He doesn't
seem to know much. I've been shadowing Luke for a
long time, and I do believe that I'm ready. Okay,
shadow me twice. I'm down for this. It really makes
me nervous. Or you're not going to shadow behind me,
I'm going to shadow behind you. Why don't you just
lead it? Why doesn't Luke leaded? I excuse me, But
(05:38):
if I don't eventually get my own, well, Luke shadow
Smith and I'll never be able to do my own tours.
How's that our problem? Yeah? You don't even know the
name of the museum. Fine, fine, I'll shadow again. All right, okay, folks,
if you can follow me into Slippery just the floors? Yeah, Rick,
(06:02):
did you do some of the mo I am above
mopping the floors here at the National Museum of Art.
I was one of the mop Someone has a question
about Mark, who wasn't a question. It was a near fault,
more of an observation. But let me tell you what
I use. I use hot water and then I use
flakes of my spit. We have to go on to goodbye,
(06:25):
I'm having to anything. Okay, that's old man Marcus. He's
our custodian and he will be popping up on the
tour from time to time. Just you know, how did
he get the name old Man Marcus. Well, he used
to just be Marcus, but time has a way of things.
He doesn't look that old. You guys are very generous.
(06:46):
It's it's old for custodian. Usually you use that as
a chumping off platform. Sorry we did old Man Marcus
did just mop the floors all around. Question about mom.
Nobody has a question about mopping. It's pretty straightforward. In
a chair, the mop is made out of my hair.
(07:09):
If you need to be pushed around a wheelchair or
a chair, scoot fun on this, Luke Wind, Is the
museum tour actually begin? Well, we're on the tour right now. Yeah,
we haven't had a chance to actually begin. If you
can follow me into the main hallway. Well that what
(07:32):
the hell are we justin? Was that? Nothing? Was? I
thought that was an atrium. Typically people are ooing and
awing at the grand display of skeletons that we have
here in the main hallway. Dinosaur Dinosaurs is a dinosaur
that's a diplosaurus. Diplosaurus. Uh, well, good portions of it
(07:54):
aren't real and summer replaced with plaster. Also, dinosaurs are fake,
I know it. No, dinosaurs are not fake. Prob Wrong.
I don't see any walking around now. No, he's got
a good point. Meat tasted like nothing. It was fake chicken?
Maybe chicken? My guess, is it tastes like chicken? What
a beautiful room, Luke? Well, the dinosaurs were actually ancestors
(08:18):
of the modern day birds, so it's it's not so
much of a stretch to imagine that it might have
tasted like ch Is that part of the normal tour
solider than that? Take a fit of my hair. Yeah,
but some dinosaurs are tiny too, sir. Let's give k
(08:39):
a chance. Which one of the dinosaurs were tiny like
the birds, Thesaurusaurus. This is a very controversial as to
whether that was actually a dinosaur or not. This is
why Rick lost his previous job. That previous all I
previously was a full fledged science tist and he was
(09:03):
demoted to have fledged Well, now I don't have any
ledge scientists. Well, your mother must have been very proud
until you lost your title. I guess I also lost
my funding, my grants. They think that I've got too
big wreck. What the hell is going on here? Okay,
you've got research on certain dinosaurs here, and you've got
something called a diddly source you want to push to us.
(09:26):
It's a typo. Okay, it was a small typo. I'm
trying to make mass amounts of meat at a low cost.
It's and you're researching a diddly source. Well, I think
it's gonna be a lot more realistic to reproduce a
small dinosaur before we go big. You want to clone
a dinosaur, I'm damn with that. I'm a full fledge
scientist just like you. You know that, all right, But
(09:48):
the differences. We already have meat sources. To put that
kind of money behind cloning an animal that we don't
even know existed, You don't know existed. It's a deadly sore.
I've been I saw your sketches, and they're your sketches.
They're based off of no bone samples or any kind
of reconstruction. But don't they look like a tiny dinosaur
(10:09):
or large chicken? Mr? Rick? Mr Rick, you got a
letter for the science board. Hold on, hold on, hold on,
let me get that I'm sure it's just more funding. Okay,
Dear Rick, I'm writing this with a heavy hot what's
the same, Mr Rick? Hold on, let me read it
to myself first. You meant a great deal to the
(10:32):
research lab for going on seven months now, so it
is difficult for me to inform you your services. And
hold on, I'm trying to worp this so I can
explain it the room. I pretty much got this. I
(10:53):
know what it says. What did it say? They said
that they're really happy with my work and I should
take this equipment and just start working from home full time.
Old man, Do you have a letter for me? Yes?
I do, Mr Jerry. Let me just is that's in
regards to me. You should don't read as from the science,
just Jerry. I write this with a heavy heart. We're
(11:18):
having to let Rick go. I want you to take
over all research from Mr Shutting up, God, I have
to read it again. Let me start again. I'm just
gonna put these speakers in my bag and this Bunson
bart hold on, hold on, Rick, all right, let me
(11:39):
just read this, Mr Rick. My letter said to take
my equipment home so I can work full time with
no distraction. Let me just read this again. It's just
so hard. I can't see Jerry. Okay, dear, it says,
dear Jerry. I'll start it off with that. Okay, you're Jerry.
(12:03):
It is with tears in my eyes that I inform
you that we're letting Rick go. Oh no, his work
is ship and it would be great take over Jerry, Jerry,
what's going on? What are you reading? This letter is changing,
The words are moving and the letters are turning into
something else. We've got, Jerry. There's a knife on the counter.
(12:23):
Pick it up, Jerry, What are you doing? Point? Why
do you have that science knife pointed at Tina? Don't
walk towards her. Just let her know that you're nice.
This is my knife. I see that, Jerry. I never
knew above your head? Let her? What do you want
me to do? Letter? What do you want me to do?
Your head? Jerry? You're a full fledged scientist. Why why
(12:48):
are you taking all of our equipment? This is now
my equipment. I've got to go, Jerry, good a hold yourself.
You're a full fledged science To lose your flag this letter.
I have to take a break, to take a sabbatical.
Signs are crushing blood, so anyway, that's rich history. Well
(13:12):
I'm glad you're at the mousenum. Now. Well, I had
bigger dreams, but I had the biggest dream. You know
what I dreamed about what the whole world? And I
was a planet. I was a planet looking at the world.
I guess that's about the biggest dream ever we've never had.
(13:33):
So you were a planet looking at I was a
planet looking at the Earth. I'm a scientist, and it
sounds like you're describing a moon a lunar I wasn't
a moon or a lunar moon, a lunar moon. Stupid
piece of ship. I hate this muse It's a museum,
(13:54):
the Museum of natural which I wouldn't say that like
that because there's no paintings. Where can get a painted
I just want to postcard? Okay, Well, if if if
you look at this diorama of these cave people here,
you'll notice that there is a painting of sorts in
the background. Is a background. Yes, it's a background painting,
creating the feeling of depth and the cave people really
(14:16):
were underwears like that, or people just not want to
show the nipples in the diorama. Well, I think people
would be offended if you offended. Is that what we're
worried about. Now, that's a great question. Well, you know
a lot of children take tours here, so your children
are raised on breasts. That that's true. But let's see
(14:36):
the cave woman nature and history right now, Okay, stayed
behind the world, this cave. Let's just move around and
do something about this. I think they might have a
good point. I feel like we're constantly censoring science, and
it looks if Peters is in science, it looks pretty easier.
Nipples your aim of natural history, right her broad nipples.
(15:01):
They didn't even make the nipples because they didn't think
that the breast would be exposed in the first place.
They never intended to show us the nipples. We to
believe that the cave women had no ariola. I'm sure
they had areolas nipples. If they had no nipples, the
babies were just eating dinosaurs. They don't exist. There wasn't
(15:22):
a crossover of dinosaurs and man, how long have you
worked here, Rick, I've worked here for about right, the
guy who doesn't seem to know much as Rick, I'm
a scientists, full fledged fledge now. Alright, So Luke I'm sorry.
How long have you worked in twelve years? Which is
your favorite exhibit? Well, probably the largest mammal on earth,
(15:43):
the blue whale? Human beings? Where, No, the human being
is not the largest mammal on earth. Prove me wrong.
I'm a huge I could ending up would where where
would you put human beings? Like? Seventh? That the human
You've got to be the biggest thing human. Well, if
you follow me into the Grand Hall of the seas well,
(16:05):
how many halls do you have? We have a lot
of halls, a series of halls. That's well, these halls
are filled with important items. Ris, that's a big boat
so we can fly. No, it's just yeah, we flung
it up above you. You hang it up so you
(16:29):
could get a good view of the boat. Imagine how
many when did they go extinct? They didn't go there
still living now, but they are in danger. Are you
telling me a dinosaur living now? But this big one
is What was your name? I didn't get it on
the way in. My name is Dristle. Dristle. Did you
(16:50):
have a coincidence that my name is driss is my
last name? Here with your last name? That's how I
go by. I go by Dristle Rise where you hail
from Montana. So at what point when you left the hotel,
assuming that's where you're staying well in town, did you
(17:12):
think it was a good idea to where your KKK
hood to the museum? Had not noticed that that between us?
I didn't know it was on all right to you.
I'm not a Dristle, I don't know any of the
(17:35):
I'm not a dress Rick. You want to take over them,
I feel like I should. First of all, no hats
on the tour and no hats on the tour is
the name of that one. Sin two comes to us
(17:57):
from Tim, who wrote, Hello Alcolm, this thanks for all
the after you have provided me on my commutes along
the four oh five for being a highway number specific. Uh.
My job entails television city council meetings, and I thought
it would make a great scene suggestion residents of a
small town come to the podium during the public comments
(18:18):
section of those meetings televised. Yeah, and there was a
special yeah, well, he said television city, which is a town,
believe it or not, in Los Angeles. It's near universal.
I believe it's called television city. I've ever heard Yeah,
and it must be from the fifties when TV took
(18:40):
over that area. In fact, he goes on saying as
in real life, some of the residents get overly dramatic,
knowing it's all being televised. So these small council meetings,
c span what have you? Will? Okay, keep having fund?
Tim Stansbury, Cerritos, California. Ps. I love that characters are
often named Tim or Timmy. Yes, if the next person
(19:06):
could come to the podium and please present your issue
for the board. Yeah, um, how are you say your name? Please? Yes,
my name is Ben Yer and the last name that's
uh my only name and like the powdery donut thing
in New Orleans, Yes it is okay. I would like
(19:29):
to bring up for the city council the trash being
picked up too soon. Talking about your neighbors, yes, uh
is they're very quick on the trash pick up. What
do you mean the trucks real quick? Yes, And if
there's any time that we could just have a couple
of weeks off, a couple weeks off and picking up
the traft for what purpose? Yeah? Well, I just don't
(19:50):
know why the trash guy get picked up so quick?
And uh me on a weekly basis. I don't know
about this quick issue. It's pretty quick. So if the
time between pick up too quick for you, it's just
a quick pickup for the trash. So if there's any
way for us to just put a hiatus, more more
metormium on the pickup. Okay, thank you, Benya. So is
(20:12):
there anything else? No, that's my tip. Okay, the next question,
please take them Hello Television City. Hello, Well, thank you?
Which camera am I looking at? Uh Sarah. The cameras
are just for observation, okay, so right right into the camera. Wait,
let me powder you okay, Okay, this is this multi camera,
(20:33):
single cam. Okay, so it's a multi cam. Okay, so
a little broader sure, okay. Um. Hi, I'm Tim Timmerson
and I just wanted to say where you're from. Tim,
I'm live right here in Television City. I'm his wife,
and I have worked on sets for my whole life.
(20:53):
So this is all just a walk in the park
to me. She grew up in the Bill grew in
the oh, why my knows, okay, her pop was a teamster,
her mom was in craft service. Uh, Tammy, I'm guessing
why would you get Timmy Timmerson and Eloise Eloise Jimmy
(21:15):
Timmerson and Eloise Timmerson. Okay, if we could get I
am wondering about advertising. Can we do more to get
our town out there? Uh? You know bigger billboards, you
know out there where's They're just out there for people
(21:37):
to know who we are and what we're doing and
what we're up to. You want to you want to
suggest that we advertise more than the city is here.
I want to promote Television City because I love it
here so much. And what would you like the board
to do to participate in your desires? Well, bless you,
(21:57):
bless you, I'll take it out in post. We will,
We'll take that post. Uh. You know, I, Elouise and
I are willing to write direct and start in some
commercials for Television City and seign Set Design Craft Service.
(22:17):
So you've come here to office your services. Yes, absolutely,
the hope of promoting Television City. And it's fine. We
don't want this to happen, but should we need to
be the face of Television City, we are cool with that.
We're ready. The Timerson excuse me, and uh, what what
do you want from the board exactly? He'd like us
(22:41):
to airmark some dollars. Yes, and have you got a
proposal together for the Yes, we don't. We have storyboards
for the first seven spots, um, and they're going to
leave it on a cliffhanger. Um. Season season? What does
that for season one? Let me get out the season
(23:02):
one bible? Um. We were thinking we were thinking about
a million per so about I think because we can
do this on the budget, we know people, we can
call in all the favors a million, a million per episodes,
so I think probably seven million for the season. Yeah,
so a short season. It will be a short but
(23:22):
the episodes are two hours each, getting a bang for
our dollars exactly, Yes, two hours and millions. Madmen meets
the floot Stones Television City. Imagine Don Draper driving around
with bald feet. Right, who's Don Draper? I'm sorry you
(23:44):
were hilarious. Okay, So this guy's the head of the
Television City Council. Think you'd like us to consider a
setting aside seven million dollars for seven million dollars your
efforts or advance or just I think set it aside
for then give it to us, Yeah, exactly, and then
we'll get the ball rolling on production. Um, and what
(24:05):
do you have to present the board today in terms
of what the money is going to looking at it? Well,
first started very greedy eyes. Uh do you want do
you want to look at the still boards? Um? So
we used old science fair boards. Um. I used to
(24:25):
kill it at the Science Fair. But you can see, Um,
that's that's Tim and that's me. And you've got period
costumes on because we want to take it back to
the glory days of television at the beginning of what
period is glamour? Glamour cigarettes, Maryland, Oh television. You want
(24:49):
to promote alcoholism within television, That's what I heard. Well,
that we can make a lot of money. The city
does make a lot of revenue from alcohol sales. And
I think we want to be realistic and grounded and
just what the world was then exactly, Don Draper, And
how does that help put out the word about Television
City what it represents today. Well, as you can see
in the back of all of these sketches, it says
(25:09):
welcome to Television City. Right, So we're gonna be shooting
it all on a sound stage that every frame is
actually an advertisement for Television City, which has never been
done before and again the word about today's television City
is represented. How well. I think we're gonna build up
to that, you know. I think we're going to tease
it a bit in episode seven, you know, and there's
(25:30):
sex and hitting, um, sex and hitting in the same
same scene. And I think if the also if the
whole thing is kind of framed as a flashback, So
maybe maybe we start present day with an old elderly
man played by me. Tim Timerson can do it, he
can pull it off, and then we're flashing back to
(25:50):
different eras. You know. That would be great. And every
episode starts with an alarm clock of fifties alarm clocking.
They wake up another day in Television City. I say,
I am uh compelled by the stories you've told here today. Um,
we're going to get our seven million dollars. Seem to
have quite a vision for what. Absolutely we're artists and
(26:12):
want to make things. I think everyone on the board
would be excited about any opportunity to promote Television City.
Why isn't anybody else on the board weighing in? By
the way, well, I welcome anywhere on the board just
to listen. Thank you, Edgar, Thank you that's one of
the reasons a lot of them are here to listen,
(26:34):
very elderly on the board. My name is Victory Delight,
and I have I've becoming in and out of what
you're saying, and from what I can take from that
that you two want to make some kind of radio tower.
Is that right? No? I think we can paint in
the radio episode. There's a place for that, right like
(26:55):
a diorama feeling of death. We were going to do
some car crash scenes and one could go right into
a watertown. Sure, I love nature. That's going to add
to the budget. But so, okay, well thanks Victory. Oh no,
I'm just having trouble breathing. So should we just get
(27:16):
started on pre production or Mr Timmerson, I'm Timmerson Timmerson,
Sorry about that. We are over budget. Okay, We've only
shot two episodes. How much we spent so far? We
spent ten million dollars? Okay, okay, we only had a
budget for seven. Sure, what this happens? You know you
(27:39):
run over you know, hey, guys, the crab legs are here.
I told you this craft service is going to be
over the just doing it like they would have done
the old days, you know. Okay, crab legs for everyone.
Maybe we shouldn't do that. Maybe we should just have
burgers or something, crab burgers, we have to. I was
(28:04):
thinking for tonight we should do a clam bake, because
since we're doing crabs for lunch, we could do a
clam bake for tonight. We're going to go out to Malibu.
Can't We can't. We're over budget. All right, we're over budget?
Big Why are you show up? Tight? Because I'm looking
at the money and we're the line producer. What do
you care? I care because I have to talk to
(28:25):
the board. Funny shaped ears your headphones? Comic is your headphones? Yes? Oh,
we should add that into one of the episodes. I
was also thinking an outer space thing. Maybe we could
do that. Nothing is being consistently brought up that the
show is all over the place. Exactly where do you
guys want me to put the spaceship? Already in the
(28:48):
sky the sky? Yeah, alright, sure, where is this guy? Well,
we could create a night sky with some Sworsky crystals.
Oh my god, my Hant works next door to that store.
She can get them. We have an end, so don't
worry about that the grease paint. I love it, oh
my god, because I want to tell I mean, where
(29:11):
to put the horses. Oh, we were going to cut
the horses. The horses have been cut. Information about that.
I got sixteen head of horse out here in the alleyway.
And uh we you know we were supposed to be
paid on a ride. We'll still pay you. We'll pay you.
(29:31):
You gotta get these horses off the streets, sir. You
can't have horses. This is television city. Who why are
you gonna go for a ride. It's forty seven dollars
a ride and take you around the studio a lot.
I don't have any money. Okay, get on the third one,
which from the front. That's it. That's the old one out.
(30:00):
He's not feeling real well. He's had healthy hues ever
since his brother went off the war. Yep, that's what.
He's walked real good, though, you can say, hold the
range now, I'm gonna try this just to see if
he's still got it. Rear up, tommy, we're up. Unfortunate.
(30:27):
He just fell right over you, all right. Oh my,
he's got his neck on your face. Hold on. And
in the two hundred and seventeen Emmys. We represent, we
are we we are all about film and television and
we love it. And the winner are practicing. Babe, what
are you doing in here? He's supposed to be on
(30:49):
stage in two seconds? I know, I know, I just
it's so nervous. They need you out there. I know
what is going to do it. I'm gonna go out
there in a second. In three you, thank you, thank you. Three.
You know, it's just been such a long journey coming
from television city to hear you know. Yeah, well this
is your chance. You can't sunk this up. I know,
(31:10):
just a little more support. Well, no, it sounded like
you won't even be like saying word I was saying.
We're just didn't make sense. I was saying words. They
weren't good words. Look, I gotta go on in three
minutes our seconds. That wasn't clear. I think it was minutes.
We don't probably two now Oh your tan one minute? Minute,
thank you? One minute? Oh my god, you're tann is
(31:32):
dripping all of your coming back from commercials. Time to
spray tan on my shirt, to spray tan on your face.
Here we go up, Dan nine hey, seven six five
(31:52):
four three. Welcome back to back your host, Larry Drake. Hello, Uh,
this is the two seventeen Emmy Awards ceremony for all
(32:15):
the TV shows and everyone who's involved in the shows.
This year, we're looking at so many great artists and
inventors and and full fledged scientists who've been a part
of everything that we can think of when it comes
to tv U. For our first category, we'll get right
into it, and it's going to be for the best
uh independent TV show that coming out of a local
news station. Local news stations in um, you're taking jobs
(32:44):
away from legitimate artists. This is an award for all
the indies and the category the categories. Why have there
been a hundred Emmy ceremonies this year? And the nominees
for this category are I don't know it was a
(33:07):
video slides, but I guess I'll read it. The nominees
are h Television City, going back in Time boo, Yes,
arbor Land, Yes, arbor Land. Why are we killing the packages?
I'm sorry, I supposed to be a video package companies.
(33:28):
Each one of these nomination amounts. Yeah, but this guy's
got so much pizzas, so much charis that you took
it upon yourself to make an executive decisionstract it was
kind of distract from his performance. Pactors shouldn't get out,
Are you kidding me? Yes? I have, thank God, Thank god,
Tristan and Marigold. Um what are the other ones? Uh?
(33:55):
The during this off the top of your head, the
snake in the boot his mouth? Um? Uh. And finally,
but not last, they might win uh shirts. And the
winner is the winner is Let me just read it here.
(34:15):
What's the letter? What's the what's it saying? Hold on
a second, says dear Larry. The nominees in the category
that you're looking for. Wait, have you read them already?
Answer me, Larry, this is the letter speaking to you. Yes, okay,
(34:37):
Now is the time to announce the winner. And the
winner is Television City. Okay, okay, I know the winner
now okay, but people are gonna boom you. Let's just
be prepared for I'm just reading the letter. I'm just
reading the letter. I should be the name of the show.
(34:58):
It's a lot. We got a letter this year. Okay,
should just be the name of the shop. Let me
read it again. Going to commercial in four minutes. Can't
read four all right? Let me just Read the letter again, Larry, change.
What are you doing with your life? This letter is changing?
(35:22):
Your career is failing. Read it aloud. Okay, uh, take
the gun out, Larry, Gun out, Larry. What did he say?
There's a gun in this letter? Okay? I really should
have had the packages video package. Please come on, don Okay,
(35:48):
what's he doing? What's he doing? The tsion the Television
City nominees are about to crash the stage. You will
shoot them both in the head. Okay, Hey, let's just
get up there. Okay, let's just go. Okay, we know
we want we wanted. Okay, guys, thank you so much.
(36:09):
I'm sorry. I'm sorry the guys, this is this? What
is the budget for this? By the way, we wanted
more gun stuff. We wanted so much more gun stuff.
I'm sorry, Brown, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Everyone.
(36:31):
Get down, Get down, not us at the award. Where's
the award? Is this the award? Boom boom? God? Let
me revisit the book one oh one where it says
there's no rather button than boom boom. I was waiting
(36:55):
for Jason Stathen to jump up from the audience and
save the day and the two seventeen them, but he's
not gonna be there. Our third scene comes from a
fellow named Daniels with an S who wrote, Hey, Alchemists,
greetings from Rainy lat Via, lat Via l A t V.
(37:19):
I ain't your quick wits in the moment never ceased
to amaze me. In my case, as soon as I
start to talk to anyone, I can almost imagine them
drifting off in their head looking out into the distance. Daniels,
I suggest you confirm my delusions. I'm imagining a person
going about their day, but as soon as he or
(37:40):
she starts a sentence, the people's nearby sort of drift
off and talk to themselves with an inner monologue. Perhaps, um,
I can tell by the way you're reading this that
you've already tuned out. Wow, it's like the last cats.
Uh then the ads told you so? Exclamation. Keep up
(38:03):
the great work, Daniels. Thanks Daniel. Did you like any
more ice? Team? Actually I would like an iced tea.
Do you have a fresh lemon wedge that you could
put it inside of it? Like a nice team two
T one with. Let just get a picture of iced
teas for the table, and if you could give us
(38:25):
a picture you wanted me to take on my phone?
No picture this table. I was stupid. I'm going to
kill myself right here in front of the toot. You
know what we are? Do you remember our allergies? Yeah?
(38:48):
Peanut and sorry? Yeah? And hey, come on that the tea.
Maybe I should put all those things in the tea.
Just see what happens to him? All right? One picture
of ice tea and then we're still thinking about what
we want to order. But we are not against another
bowl of bread? Yeah, taking time to thank you bread?
(39:12):
Can they don't understand what's up at table three? I
don't know. I mean how we're able to communicate with
just our thoughts? Are you talking to yourself? Sir? But
he's staring at the other waiter. But the other waiter
is insane? Anything? Uh? Shall you enjoy your bread? And
I'll refill the picture of ice. Team waiters staring at
(39:35):
each other so intensely they're piercing my ears, right, Jesus,
I mean, how do we do we kill them or ourselves? Ourselves?
That's the only way to cure on three one? Yeah,
I'm not gonna bowls of bread they want? Hey, Devin,
can you pick up table tin. Yeah, it's a it's
(39:56):
a four top. They were just saying, this guy is
so aggressive. What is this fun? And can we push
the specials a little more? What are the specials again?
What are the specials? The specials? We had a meeting
lineup about twenty minutes ago. Minutes and give me the
top three. Well, there's a ship on the special set.
There's one of three. Yeah, but if you give me
(40:17):
the top three because I hate to break this up,
but Devin and Darien, can you guys stop staring at
each other just a little more space. We put you
in different sections, like a little more space. Customers complain, Um,
people are just looking people you. It's you. I'm annoyed.
I'm annoyed because I've been trying to move you guys apart.
I feel like I'm a kindergarten teacher. I'm not a
kindergarten teacher, but I have to separate you because this
(40:39):
eye contact thing you do is upsetting. It's upsetting. It's upsetting,
it's upsetting to the culture of the restaurant. Huh okay,
So no staring, no waiter staring at each other in
the jungle restaurant. Yeah, okay, because that would be as disturbing.
It feels like we're about to attack each other. The
restaurant is jungle themed. Let's keep it Flash Cafe. I
(41:01):
know what it is. We all know that we work
at the Rainforest Cafe. Do you know the top three specials? Today?
We had a line up about it? Are you not
at the line I was up the lineup? Yeah for you?
Or were you just staring at Darien? I was physically there.
I would just were lost in Darien's eyes. Can anyone
(41:22):
just tell me the top three? Top three? Top three?
Because that's when I go to a table. If I
get in the top three, well yeah, go talk to Darren.
You want to take that one? Hi, sir, can I
help you? We've been needing five minutes and nobody's fucking
come over here. I'm sure it's I'm sure it's a
good reason. People have blood issues. Get my wife a
(41:43):
fucking cooke. You not a diet A diet coke? Get
her a coke? Is there a problem? Yeah, we've been
waiting here for five minutes. I understand there's a lot
of profane have blood issue. Do you see the family
we got? These two of these kids are kids those kids,
all about the monkeys, those of our kids to a
(42:04):
corpse at the rainforest. And now what you want? We
don't want about to think I'm about passage, Timmy. Can
you help out a little bit here? How many fucking waters?
And why those two guys looking at each other just
to just kill them both? What? What can I help?
You need? A table sevens losing their mind? Basically guys
using profanity? Okay, did you tell not telling them special?
(42:28):
But I hope maybe that usually passes with si? Okay,
can I tell you to the special? Are you you're
talking to me? We don't diet cocoa regular, regular cook
regular Darian with the regular coke Darien. It's for the lady. Yeah,
always the straw that's on request. I request it. I'll
(42:53):
be back if I could just kill this term. Why
don't you give us those fucking special Okay? The first
special we have is a steak tartar appetizer. I'm sorry,
it's awful. Let my face in it like a cow. Yeah,
just kind of the goal weight. And if you don't
like it, that's on you. I mean Thailand, you I
(43:14):
like it? I was speaking cow. If you just put
your face on the trough. I don't know if you
realize this, but that was out fucking loud. Sir, that
was fucking out loud. He called you a cow. All right,
let's move on past the steak tartar, your wife or
whatever the relationship my wife suggested, asked you if you
(43:34):
thought she was a cow? You didn't answer. So I
was trying to fill in the devoid that learned a
long time ago not to answer trap questions. Very happily married?
How happy? Not a scale of one to ten? All right,
So we heard steak tartar. That's an appetizer. Not not interested,
that's an appetizer. Let's do that, all right, we'll do that,
(43:55):
all right? The steak tartar six? Who did that? That
was me? That was you? Why the hell did you
do that? Because it's the only special weeks ago, two
weeks ago. You're doing a special we did two weeks ago. Man,
I'm not good at this job. What the fun is
going on? Should I kill a chef? I should? Just should?
We got to focus up here. Okay, I only got
(44:15):
a certain amount of food back here. We got the specials.
We got the Gator steak. Okay, we got the gator soup,
and we got the gator bites to push the gator, Yes,
push the gator. What is the gate? What is the
actual food that we're calling gator? It's gators? Gator tama?
What are we using? What is gator? It's okay, you
want to know, you know what? That's a dinosaur. We're
(44:39):
cooking a tiny little dinosaur. Right, it's a dead don't
very good? You listen to me, remembers everything? So look, okay,
can we just all focus up and push the gator?
All right? Yeah, sure to get rid of this deadly source. Yeah,
well you're the cook. You should absolutely tell us what
to do. I'm going back out to table seven, sir high,
what the fund are you doing? Back? You thought about
(45:01):
the ankle swelling? That's probably then bring up the cow dad.
Where's the food? Right? The food is coming? We ordered
to steak tart. Can I tell you about I don't
know what? I'm not a cheaper speak of the devil?
(45:22):
All right, please concentrated. I want to know about whatever,
especially you're just getting stuck in the volcano. Gator soup,
Gator soup? All right? Uh? Can we get a family style?
A family style gator soup. I feel it comes in
a little trough which the cow? How white? That's it?
(45:45):
You know who else had this proportions? Marilyn Monroe? Monroe, Yeah,
these are the same proportions. And Katema, is that your
daughter in the volcan? But yes, and yes, anyway you
could get her down? I don't know is any way
you could get it down. I'm too huge, I'm too
possibly blow up every minute. I don't wish death on
(46:05):
your sister. Get us a manager, fucking now, getting the manager? Hi,
how can I help you? Are you your rainy day?
I'm the manager? What which one of you? Am I
going to talk to you? Men? Is not the manager? Arrian?
We have been through this, We have been through this recently.
(46:29):
You are on the track to management. But I am
the manager and you're a manager. Why would you do that?
I'm so sorry. Anything we can do to make your
experience better, that is what we're here for. Well, I'll
tell you one thing. He's fucking way to keeps telling
my wife she looks like a cow and eat out
of a trough is rainforest at her? You look beautiful, man,
(46:55):
Thank you? I feel beautiful. I feel fucking beautiful and
that's what Matt is. Look at me, look at my car.
I was looking at my ask Yeah, well you are
a lovely lady. And the meals on us. Oh that's great,
the meal is on us. Oh my god. The volcano
is about to explode. Can you well I can't, sir,
(47:16):
but we are trying a new liquid today and I
think it's a warm one, so you might want to
There's been several minutes. We were told the volcano explode
every minute. How could it explode every minute? The cleanup
would be well, that's what I was thinking. Who told
you that? Did that? Waiter over there? You're fired, thank god?
And Darien step back, Darien, Darien, show your fun if
(47:39):
you're a man at youer? What do you want your
foot on the table? Darren? Why the fund is this
guy got his foot on the table. I don't know. Alright,
So here the Nature and History Museum. We would just
want to the Nature and History. You're gonna be shattering
shadowing Lucan and Rick. You're going to be shattering Luke
and Rick. Yeah I heard him. So you're and take
(48:00):
over their position. You gotta really shatter them. Yeah, yeah,
you know, have fun, that's what we do here? Were
you have fun? Huh? Have fun? You were at the
Rainforest Cafe before this sixteen years? Yeah, I felt I
felt like how do I get out? And I just
could never nail it. Yeah, and you never went to
a manageorial position. You're just now just a waiter work
the run Forest Cafe. Once. What's your name? That's the liquor?
(48:28):
What's that I serve? Domas me here had I used
to work with here at the Natural History Museum? So
do How could they still have it? They were calling
it the gator Bot. They cloned to the at his house.
(48:52):
We couldn't get it into the museum, but they didn't
even want to get it into muse name. I wanted
to get it into floods, like can you please check
out the bathrooms? Please make sure the clean looked on them?
They're very clean? Alright? Did that? This is exactly what
forest restaurant the dinosas gator? Yes, I hear what you're saying.
There was a rain for this cafe. It was a
(49:12):
real rain forest in the cafe. To look up, I've
never said there was Okay, I'm just saying I did
never say that. Put words on my math, right, you
think because you got all your tea they're so fancy.
It doesn't have all of them. There's a couple of faques.
This isn't interesting. You know, you go on break. I
just started. I'll go home and break the look at
(49:34):
you just came off a break. You just told me
to go on bright and until you go and break.
Until this guy to go on. But he didn't take it.
The break was up for ground. No, it wasn't up
for grabs. It works. There's a break on the table.
It's not on the table. Don't you put a break
on the side. I said, he has a break on
the table, on the side. There's no break on the table.
Break if I may, there's no table. You got to
(49:56):
go on break now it's on the table. I'm telling gonnah.
What was her name? Delica? Delica? Where is she from?
She's from Montana sent her masks. Excuse me, somebody has
has drawn nipples on the cave woman. What somebody has
drawn nipples on the cave woman in the diarma. We
(50:16):
can't have that. That's not historically accurate. Exactly, sir, we
don't know that someone has your own break. I work here.
Don't call me sir, Who the funk are you guy?
This guy's gonna shot the guy. He's gonna shatter me
the shatter good. This is the kind of competition I like. Oh,
I wanted to get here first. We need to get
to Liqua to clean the nipples on the cave when
(50:38):
we weren't here first. What are you doing here, Luke?
I still work here despite the fact that I got
a terrible YELP review because you were shadowing me. Oh man,
I want every square into that to be real. Why
can't it? Oh? Thank you all for writing in your
scene suggestions. Let's thank our alcomist for its a day,
(51:00):
James Heeney. Working folks find you on the interwebs and
they're out. Just go straight to the real James Heeney
dot com. Yeah, and you're doing some new animation stuff
for the episode. Generous speaking roll in the room. Good God,
I spend I spend so much time character better part
(51:21):
of a half hour, not the whole that. Man, I struggle.
I'm not good, but I'm gonna work at it. I
just love it. You feel they need to point out
that you're not good. I think I started In all fairness,
I'm much better than anybody that didn't even trying. Yes,
you are. I want to applaud the effort and it
(51:44):
is fun to make fun of it and you for it,
but but I do appreciate it. Thank you. I do
appreciate you. Craig Kakowski. I'm gonna throw a few Twitter
handles at you Kowski at Craigslist, peak cast at Orange
Tucks improv from my various So it's so fantastic. Vanessa Raglan, Yeah,
(52:04):
what do you got? You want to share the Dincy
Typewriter theater dot com. Yeah, and probably when this comes out,
I'm having a baby. Yeah, so I've got a little
less brain power than you. Well, listen, we got the
last of it today, So thank you, and not great
stuff I was offering, thanks for making it more. That's
ridiculous of you. Let's thank our very own engineer, Doug Baby.
(52:31):
No one else can lame that claim in the podcast world,
but y'all and our Papa Man Post sound design or
just rop producer Vie Lichtman her radio media place. I
(52:56):
courage you all to write a review and tell everyone
you've ever met a about our podcast. We love your support,
We greatly appreciate it. Please continue to write to us
with your scene suggestions at your name here at alchemy
this dot com. That's your name here at alchemy this
dot com. Until next time, thank you again and remember
Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This I'm your host,
Kevin Pollock. Yes that Kevin Pollock's sure. If that's why
you want to play it, your move, monkey boy, But
I digress. Let's meet our alchemists for today in particular order.
Please say hello and how do you do to Vanessa
Raglan Vaniche? Do you remember what your last locker combination was? No,
(00:24):
not even at the time. Sorry, you're constantly asking people.
I had to have it written down in my backpacks.
I ended up just sharing my best friends locker because
I'm not good the number. Couldn't you question the lock
with a key? You can't do that? Request locker with
a key? Oh, I'd like a different style. Yeah, you
(00:47):
didn't work for me. You didn't go to the all
men's military elementary school like James. Power of the People.
It's Craig atkowski y. If you could create and teach
a new high school course, what would be how to
get the funk out of as soon as single most
popular class in the history. That's right, illuminated your mind.
(01:13):
There's James Heeney, Jimmy Jackalope, ken straight talking kid from
the Midwest. Ever get far a fair shaking the city.
I fooled myself with my horrible typing on Kevin translating,
let's try it again, Jimmy Jacklope, kind of straight talking
(01:36):
kid from the Midwest. Ever get a fair shake in
the city. I mean, the city is definitely shaking me,
that's for sure. Who you gonna call? It's Joey Grair
stir down there? Yeah, um, what the hell Joey Greer? Uh?
The end is Greaer. What's that smell? Bo? Yeah? Oh man,
(02:00):
I love that smell that Greer sweet? Be you all right?
Let's get to our first scene showing all of today's
It's seen. Suggestions were gathered from our listeners emails. If
you'd like to sus to make yours, please write to
the podcast at your name here at alchemy this dot com.
That's your name here at alchemy this dot com. Our
first scene today indeed comes from a listener. His name
is Rob, who wrote, Hi, guys, I've been listening ever
(02:22):
since day one, and your podcast has become a treat
to listen to with a cold beverage after a long
day of monkeying around with spreadsheets and data nonsense at work.
Dare I say it's the only thing getting me through
Tuesdays and Thursdays. Ah No, I don't, he wrote. Uh.
My suggestion is this disgraced scientist takes a job as
(02:45):
a museum guide in a small town in an effort
to spread his groundbreaking and revolutionary grand theory of everything
to the confused and unprepared visitors. Keep up the good work,
Rob Plymouth, UK, United Kingdom. I like the impressionists. Where
are the impressionists? This is nature and nature and history museums,
(03:08):
so we don't really have impressions water lilies, Well, the
water lilies are in the botanical section here. Yeah, I
work here. Okay, so we came to see her. Where
are we going? This is a This is the National
History Museum, right, So are there paintings? I mean it
was a different museum a moment ago. Are you sure?
(03:29):
You said yes? Where would we see the paintings? Like, well,
there are paintings, but there are paintings of old history.
This is the National History Museum. This is the National
History Museum. It doesn't seem what's the national part mean? Well, honestly,
it's uh. I believe it stands for international because a
(03:49):
lot of these things come from all over the way
international Internet. Rick, this is the Museum of Natural History,
Natural History. Well, at first you said this is the
Museum of Nature and History, implying that there are two
(04:11):
different ways, and then you said National History, and then
you said national stands for international, which I think it
almost completely doesn't other dude, Yes, other paintings we could
see here. This is not an art museum. Thank you.
I am so sorry for misleading you, but yes, thank you.
(04:32):
But there are things that are painted. Where can I
get a postcard or some of the paintings here? I'm
in the going to You came up at the perfect time.
There's no paintings here, but there's postcards right here. We
have postcards in our gift show. Isn't this the Nature
and History Museum? Oh it's not. I'm sorry to you
(04:52):
a little bit earlier. I don't pay taxes for this?
Is that right? You don't pay taxes for this? That
is right? Do you pay taxes? Man? I do pay taxes.
Do I not pay taxes? I have no idea if
you pay taxes anyone this guy's account. How do we
know if you pay your taxes? Dude? Okay, the eleven
o'clock tour is about to start. Yeah, so Rick? Is
(05:14):
it almost eleven o'clock? Safe in Rick's hands? He doesn't
seem to know much. I've been shadowing Luke for a
long time, and I do believe that I'm ready. Okay,
shadow me twice. I'm down for this. It really makes
me nervous. Or you're not going to shadow behind me,
I'm going to shadow behind you. Why don't you just
lead it? Why doesn't Luke leaded? I excuse me, But
(05:38):
if I don't eventually get my own, well, Luke shadow
Smith and I'll never be able to do my own tours.
How's that our problem? Yeah? You don't even know the
name of the museum. Fine, fine, I'll shadow again. All right, okay, folks,
if you can follow me into Slippery just the floors? Yeah, Rick,
(06:02):
did you do some of the mo I am above
mopping the floors here at the National Museum of Art.
I was one of the mop Someone has a question
about Mark, who wasn't a question. It was a near fault,
more of an observation. But let me tell you what
I use. I use hot water and then I use
flakes of my spit. We have to go on to goodbye,
(06:25):
I'm having to anything. Okay, that's old man Marcus. He's
our custodian and he will be popping up on the
tour from time to time. Just you know, how did
he get the name old Man Marcus. Well, he used
to just be Marcus, but time has a way of things.
He doesn't look that old. You guys are very generous.
(06:46):
It's it's old for custodian. Usually you use that as
a chumping off platform. Sorry we did old Man Marcus
did just mop the floors all around. Question about mom.
Nobody has a question about mopping. It's pretty straightforward. In
a chair, the mop is made out of my hair.
(07:09):
If you need to be pushed around a wheelchair or
a chair, scoot fun on this, Luke Wind, Is the
museum tour actually begin? Well, we're on the tour right now. Yeah,
we haven't had a chance to actually begin. If you
can follow me into the main hallway. Well that what
(07:32):
the hell are we justin? Was that? Nothing? Was? I
thought that was an atrium. Typically people are ooing and
awing at the grand display of skeletons that we have
here in the main hallway. Dinosaur Dinosaurs is a dinosaur
that's a diplosaurus. Diplosaurus. Uh, well, good portions of it
(07:54):
aren't real and summer replaced with plaster. Also, dinosaurs are fake,
I know it. No, dinosaurs are not fake. Prob Wrong.
I don't see any walking around now. No, he's got
a good point. Meat tasted like nothing. It was fake chicken?
Maybe chicken? My guess, is it tastes like chicken? What
a beautiful room, Luke? Well, the dinosaurs were actually ancestors
(08:18):
of the modern day birds, so it's it's not so
much of a stretch to imagine that it might have
tasted like ch Is that part of the normal tour
solider than that? Take a fit of my hair. Yeah,
but some dinosaurs are tiny too, sir. Let's give k
(08:39):
a chance. Which one of the dinosaurs were tiny like
the birds, Thesaurusaurus. This is a very controversial as to
whether that was actually a dinosaur or not. This is
why Rick lost his previous job. That previous all I
previously was a full fledged science tist and he was
(09:03):
demoted to have fledged Well, now I don't have any
ledge scientists. Well, your mother must have been very proud
until you lost your title. I guess I also lost
my funding, my grants. They think that I've got too
big wreck. What the hell is going on here? Okay,
you've got research on certain dinosaurs here, and you've got
something called a diddly source you want to push to us.
(09:26):
It's a typo. Okay, it was a small typo. I'm
trying to make mass amounts of meat at a low cost.
It's and you're researching a diddly source. Well, I think
it's gonna be a lot more realistic to reproduce a
small dinosaur before we go big. You want to clone
a dinosaur, I'm damn with that. I'm a full fledge
scientist just like you. You know that, all right, But
(09:48):
the differences. We already have meat sources. To put that
kind of money behind cloning an animal that we don't
even know existed, You don't know existed. It's a deadly sore.
I've been I saw your sketches, and they're your sketches.
They're based off of no bone samples or any kind
of reconstruction. But don't they look like a tiny dinosaur
(10:09):
or large chicken? Mr? Rick? Mr Rick, you got a
letter for the science board. Hold on, hold on, hold on,
let me get that I'm sure it's just more funding. Okay,
Dear Rick, I'm writing this with a heavy hot what's
the same, Mr Rick? Hold on, let me read it
to myself first. You meant a great deal to the
(10:32):
research lab for going on seven months now, so it
is difficult for me to inform you your services. And
hold on, I'm trying to worp this so I can
explain it the room. I pretty much got this. I
(10:53):
know what it says. What did it say? They said
that they're really happy with my work and I should
take this equipment and just start working from home full time.
Old man, Do you have a letter for me? Yes?
I do, Mr Jerry. Let me just is that's in
regards to me. You should don't read as from the science,
just Jerry. I write this with a heavy heart. We're
(11:18):
having to let Rick go. I want you to take
over all research from Mr Shutting up, God, I have
to read it again. Let me start again. I'm just
gonna put these speakers in my bag and this Bunson
bart hold on, hold on, Rick, all right, let me
(11:39):
just read this, Mr Rick. My letter said to take
my equipment home so I can work full time with
no distraction. Let me just read this again. It's just
so hard. I can't see Jerry. Okay, dear, it says,
dear Jerry. I'll start it off with that. Okay, you're Jerry.
(12:03):
It is with tears in my eyes that I inform
you that we're letting Rick go. Oh no, his work
is ship and it would be great take over Jerry, Jerry,
what's going on? What are you reading? This letter is changing,
The words are moving and the letters are turning into
something else. We've got, Jerry. There's a knife on the counter.
(12:23):
Pick it up, Jerry, What are you doing? Point? Why
do you have that science knife pointed at Tina? Don't
walk towards her. Just let her know that you're nice.
This is my knife. I see that, Jerry. I never
knew above your head? Let her? What do you want
me to do? Letter? What do you want me to do?
Your head? Jerry? You're a full fledged scientist. Why why
(12:48):
are you taking all of our equipment? This is now
my equipment. I've got to go, Jerry, good a hold yourself.
You're a full fledged science To lose your flag this letter.
I have to take a break, to take a sabbatical.
Signs are crushing blood, so anyway, that's rich history. Well
(13:12):
I'm glad you're at the mousenum. Now. Well, I had
bigger dreams, but I had the biggest dream. You know
what I dreamed about what the whole world? And I
was a planet. I was a planet looking at the world.
I guess that's about the biggest dream ever we've never had.
(13:33):
So you were a planet looking at I was a
planet looking at the Earth. I'm a scientist, and it
sounds like you're describing a moon a lunar I wasn't
a moon or a lunar moon, a lunar moon. Stupid
piece of ship. I hate this muse It's a museum,
(13:54):
the Museum of natural which I wouldn't say that like
that because there's no paintings. Where can get a painted
I just want to postcard? Okay, Well, if if if
you look at this diorama of these cave people here,
you'll notice that there is a painting of sorts in
the background. Is a background. Yes, it's a background painting,
creating the feeling of depth and the cave people really
(14:16):
were underwears like that, or people just not want to
show the nipples in the diorama. Well, I think people
would be offended if you offended. Is that what we're
worried about. Now, that's a great question. Well, you know
a lot of children take tours here, so your children
are raised on breasts. That that's true. But let's see
(14:36):
the cave woman nature and history right now, Okay, stayed
behind the world, this cave. Let's just move around and
do something about this. I think they might have a
good point. I feel like we're constantly censoring science, and
it looks if Peters is in science, it looks pretty easier.
Nipples your aim of natural history, right her broad nipples.
(15:01):
They didn't even make the nipples because they didn't think
that the breast would be exposed in the first place.
They never intended to show us the nipples. We to
believe that the cave women had no ariola. I'm sure
they had areolas nipples. If they had no nipples, the
babies were just eating dinosaurs. They don't exist. There wasn't
(15:22):
a crossover of dinosaurs and man, how long have you
worked here, Rick, I've worked here for about right, the
guy who doesn't seem to know much as Rick, I'm
a scientists, full fledged fledge now. Alright, So Luke I'm sorry.
How long have you worked in twelve years? Which is
your favorite exhibit? Well, probably the largest mammal on earth,
(15:43):
the blue whale? Human beings? Where, No, the human being
is not the largest mammal on earth. Prove me wrong.
I'm a huge I could ending up would where where
would you put human beings? Like? Seventh? That the human
You've got to be the biggest thing human. Well, if
you follow me into the Grand Hall of the seas well,
(16:05):
how many halls do you have? We have a lot
of halls, a series of halls. That's well, these halls
are filled with important items. Ris, that's a big boat
so we can fly. No, it's just yeah, we flung
it up above you. You hang it up so you
(16:29):
could get a good view of the boat. Imagine how
many when did they go extinct? They didn't go there
still living now, but they are in danger. Are you
telling me a dinosaur living now? But this big one
is What was your name? I didn't get it on
the way in. My name is Dristle. Dristle. Did you
(16:50):
have a coincidence that my name is driss is my
last name? Here with your last name? That's how I
go by. I go by Dristle Rise where you hail
from Montana. So at what point when you left the hotel,
assuming that's where you're staying well in town, did you
(17:12):
think it was a good idea to where your KKK
hood to the museum? Had not noticed that that between us?
I didn't know it was on all right to you.
I'm not a Dristle, I don't know any of the
(17:35):
I'm not a dress Rick. You want to take over them,
I feel like I should. First of all, no hats
on the tour and no hats on the tour is
the name of that one. Sin two comes to us
(17:57):
from Tim, who wrote, Hello Alcolm, this thanks for all
the after you have provided me on my commutes along
the four oh five for being a highway number specific. Uh.
My job entails television city council meetings, and I thought
it would make a great scene suggestion residents of a
small town come to the podium during the public comments
(18:18):
section of those meetings televised. Yeah, and there was a
special yeah, well, he said television city, which is a town,
believe it or not, in Los Angeles. It's near universal.
I believe it's called television city. I've ever heard Yeah,
and it must be from the fifties when TV took
(18:40):
over that area. In fact, he goes on saying as
in real life, some of the residents get overly dramatic,
knowing it's all being televised. So these small council meetings,
c span what have you? Will? Okay, keep having fund?
Tim Stansbury, Cerritos, California. Ps. I love that characters are
often named Tim or Timmy. Yes, if the next person
(19:06):
could come to the podium and please present your issue
for the board. Yeah, um, how are you say your name? Please? Yes,
my name is Ben Yer and the last name that's
uh my only name and like the powdery donut thing
in New Orleans, Yes it is okay. I would like
(19:29):
to bring up for the city council the trash being
picked up too soon. Talking about your neighbors, yes, uh
is they're very quick on the trash pick up. What
do you mean the trucks real quick? Yes, And if
there's any time that we could just have a couple
of weeks off, a couple weeks off and picking up
the traft for what purpose? Yeah? Well, I just don't
(19:50):
know why the trash guy get picked up so quick?
And uh me on a weekly basis. I don't know
about this quick issue. It's pretty quick. So if the
time between pick up too quick for you, it's just
a quick pickup for the trash. So if there's any
way for us to just put a hiatus, more more
metormium on the pickup. Okay, thank you, Benya. So is
(20:12):
there anything else? No, that's my tip. Okay, the next question,
please take them Hello Television City. Hello, Well, thank you?
Which camera am I looking at? Uh Sarah. The cameras
are just for observation, okay, so right right into the camera. Wait,
let me powder you okay, Okay, this is this multi camera,
(20:33):
single cam. Okay, so it's a multi cam. Okay, so
a little broader sure, okay. Um. Hi, I'm Tim Timmerson
and I just wanted to say where you're from. Tim,
I'm live right here in Television City. I'm his wife,
and I have worked on sets for my whole life.
(20:53):
So this is all just a walk in the park
to me. She grew up in the Bill grew in
the oh, why my knows, okay, her pop was a teamster,
her mom was in craft service. Uh, Tammy, I'm guessing
why would you get Timmy Timmerson and Eloise Eloise Jimmy
(21:15):
Timmerson and Eloise Timmerson. Okay, if we could get I
am wondering about advertising. Can we do more to get
our town out there? Uh? You know bigger billboards, you
know out there where's They're just out there for people
(21:37):
to know who we are and what we're doing and
what we're up to. You want to you want to
suggest that we advertise more than the city is here.
I want to promote Television City because I love it
here so much. And what would you like the board
to do to participate in your desires? Well, bless you,
(21:57):
bless you, I'll take it out in post. We will,
We'll take that post. Uh. You know, I, Elouise and
I are willing to write direct and start in some
commercials for Television City and seign Set Design Craft Service.
(22:17):
So you've come here to office your services. Yes, absolutely,
the hope of promoting Television City. And it's fine. We
don't want this to happen, but should we need to
be the face of Television City, we are cool with that.
We're ready. The Timerson excuse me, and uh, what what
do you want from the board exactly? He'd like us
(22:41):
to airmark some dollars. Yes, and have you got a
proposal together for the Yes, we don't. We have storyboards
for the first seven spots, um, and they're going to
leave it on a cliffhanger. Um. Season season? What does
that for season one? Let me get out the season
(23:02):
one bible? Um. We were thinking we were thinking about
a million per so about I think because we can
do this on the budget, we know people, we can
call in all the favors a million, a million per episodes,
so I think probably seven million for the season. Yeah,
so a short season. It will be a short but
(23:22):
the episodes are two hours each, getting a bang for
our dollars exactly, Yes, two hours and millions. Madmen meets
the floot Stones Television City. Imagine Don Draper driving around
with bald feet. Right, who's Don Draper? I'm sorry you
(23:44):
were hilarious. Okay, So this guy's the head of the
Television City Council. Think you'd like us to consider a
setting aside seven million dollars for seven million dollars your
efforts or advance or just I think set it aside
for then give it to us, Yeah, exactly, and then
we'll get the ball rolling on production. Um, and what
(24:05):
do you have to present the board today in terms
of what the money is going to looking at it? Well,
first started very greedy eyes. Uh do you want do
you want to look at the still boards? Um? So
we used old science fair boards. Um. I used to
(24:25):
kill it at the Science Fair. But you can see, Um,
that's that's Tim and that's me. And you've got period
costumes on because we want to take it back to
the glory days of television at the beginning of what
period is glamour? Glamour cigarettes, Maryland, Oh television. You want
(24:49):
to promote alcoholism within television, That's what I heard. Well,
that we can make a lot of money. The city
does make a lot of revenue from alcohol sales. And
I think we want to be realistic and grounded and
just what the world was then exactly, Don Draper, And
how does that help put out the word about Television
City what it represents today. Well, as you can see
in the back of all of these sketches, it says
(25:09):
welcome to Television City. Right, So we're gonna be shooting
it all on a sound stage that every frame is
actually an advertisement for Television City, which has never been
done before and again the word about today's television City
is represented. How well. I think we're gonna build up
to that, you know. I think we're going to tease
it a bit in episode seven, you know, and there's
(25:30):
sex and hitting, um, sex and hitting in the same
same scene. And I think if the also if the
whole thing is kind of framed as a flashback, So
maybe maybe we start present day with an old elderly
man played by me. Tim Timerson can do it, he
can pull it off, and then we're flashing back to
(25:50):
different eras. You know. That would be great. And every
episode starts with an alarm clock of fifties alarm clocking.
They wake up another day in Television City. I say,
I am uh compelled by the stories you've told here today. Um,
we're going to get our seven million dollars. Seem to
have quite a vision for what. Absolutely we're artists and
(26:12):
want to make things. I think everyone on the board
would be excited about any opportunity to promote Television City.
Why isn't anybody else on the board weighing in? By
the way, well, I welcome anywhere on the board just
to listen. Thank you, Edgar, Thank you that's one of
the reasons a lot of them are here to listen,
(26:34):
very elderly on the board. My name is Victory Delight,
and I have I've becoming in and out of what
you're saying, and from what I can take from that
that you two want to make some kind of radio tower.
Is that right? No? I think we can paint in
the radio episode. There's a place for that, right like
(26:55):
a diorama feeling of death. We were going to do
some car crash scenes and one could go right into
a watertown. Sure, I love nature. That's going to add
to the budget. But so, okay, well thanks Victory. Oh no,
I'm just having trouble breathing. So should we just get
(27:16):
started on pre production or Mr Timmerson, I'm Timmerson Timmerson,
Sorry about that. We are over budget. Okay, We've only
shot two episodes. How much we spent so far? We
spent ten million dollars? Okay, okay, we only had a
budget for seven. Sure, what this happens? You know you
(27:39):
run over you know, hey, guys, the crab legs are here.
I told you this craft service is going to be
over the just doing it like they would have done
the old days, you know. Okay, crab legs for everyone.
Maybe we shouldn't do that. Maybe we should just have
burgers or something, crab burgers, we have to. I was
(28:04):
thinking for tonight we should do a clam bake, because
since we're doing crabs for lunch, we could do a
clam bake for tonight. We're going to go out to Malibu.
Can't We can't. We're over budget. All right, we're over budget?
Big Why are you show up? Tight? Because I'm looking
at the money and we're the line producer. What do
you care? I care because I have to talk to
(28:25):
the board. Funny shaped ears your headphones? Comic is your headphones? Yes? Oh,
we should add that into one of the episodes. I
was also thinking an outer space thing. Maybe we could
do that. Nothing is being consistently brought up that the
show is all over the place. Exactly where do you
guys want me to put the spaceship? Already in the
(28:48):
sky the sky? Yeah, alright, sure, where is this guy? Well,
we could create a night sky with some Sworsky crystals.
Oh my god, my Hant works next door to that store.
She can get them. We have an end, so don't
worry about that the grease paint. I love it, oh
my god, because I want to tell I mean, where
(29:11):
to put the horses. Oh, we were going to cut
the horses. The horses have been cut. Information about that.
I got sixteen head of horse out here in the alleyway.
And uh we you know we were supposed to be
paid on a ride. We'll still pay you. We'll pay you.
(29:31):
You gotta get these horses off the streets, sir. You
can't have horses. This is television city. Who why are
you gonna go for a ride. It's forty seven dollars
a ride and take you around the studio a lot.
I don't have any money. Okay, get on the third one,
which from the front. That's it. That's the old one out.
(30:00):
He's not feeling real well. He's had healthy hues ever
since his brother went off the war. Yep, that's what.
He's walked real good, though, you can say, hold the
range now, I'm gonna try this just to see if
he's still got it. Rear up, tommy, we're up. Unfortunate.
(30:27):
He just fell right over you, all right. Oh my,
he's got his neck on your face. Hold on. And
in the two hundred and seventeen Emmys. We represent, we
are we we are all about film and television and
we love it. And the winner are practicing. Babe, what
are you doing in here? He's supposed to be on
(30:49):
stage in two seconds? I know, I know, I just
it's so nervous. They need you out there. I know
what is going to do it. I'm gonna go out
there in a second. In three you, thank you, thank you. Three.
You know, it's just been such a long journey coming
from television city to hear you know. Yeah, well this
is your chance. You can't sunk this up. I know,
(31:10):
just a little more support. Well, no, it sounded like
you won't even be like saying word I was saying.
We're just didn't make sense. I was saying words. They
weren't good words. Look, I gotta go on in three
minutes our seconds. That wasn't clear. I think it was minutes.
We don't probably two now Oh your tan one minute? Minute,
thank you? One minute? Oh my god, you're tann is
(31:32):
dripping all of your coming back from commercials. Time to
spray tan on my shirt, to spray tan on your face.
Here we go up, Dan nine hey, seven six five
(31:52):
four three. Welcome back to back your host, Larry Drake. Hello, Uh,
this is the two seventeen Emmy Awards ceremony for all
(32:15):
the TV shows and everyone who's involved in the shows.
This year, we're looking at so many great artists and
inventors and and full fledged scientists who've been a part
of everything that we can think of when it comes
to tv U. For our first category, we'll get right
into it, and it's going to be for the best
uh independent TV show that coming out of a local
news station. Local news stations in um, you're taking jobs
(32:44):
away from legitimate artists. This is an award for all
the indies and the category the categories. Why have there
been a hundred Emmy ceremonies this year? And the nominees
for this category are I don't know it was a
(33:07):
video slides, but I guess I'll read it. The nominees
are h Television City, going back in Time boo, Yes,
arbor Land, Yes, arbor Land. Why are we killing the packages?
I'm sorry, I supposed to be a video package companies.
(33:28):
Each one of these nomination amounts. Yeah, but this guy's
got so much pizzas, so much charis that you took
it upon yourself to make an executive decisionstract it was
kind of distract from his performance. Pactors shouldn't get out,
Are you kidding me? Yes? I have, thank God, Thank god,
Tristan and Marigold. Um what are the other ones? Uh?
(33:55):
The during this off the top of your head, the
snake in the boot his mouth? Um? Uh. And finally,
but not last, they might win uh shirts. And the
winner is the winner is Let me just read it here.
(34:15):
What's the letter? What's the what's it saying? Hold on
a second, says dear Larry. The nominees in the category
that you're looking for. Wait, have you read them already?
Answer me, Larry, this is the letter speaking to you. Yes, okay,
(34:37):
Now is the time to announce the winner. And the
winner is Television City. Okay, okay, I know the winner
now okay, but people are gonna boom you. Let's just
be prepared for I'm just reading the letter. I'm just
reading the letter. I should be the name of the show.
(34:58):
It's a lot. We got a letter this year. Okay,
should just be the name of the shop. Let me
read it again. Going to commercial in four minutes. Can't
read four all right? Let me just Read the letter again, Larry, change.
What are you doing with your life? This letter is changing?
(35:22):
Your career is failing. Read it aloud. Okay, uh, take
the gun out, Larry, Gun out, Larry. What did he say?
There's a gun in this letter? Okay? I really should
have had the packages video package. Please come on, don Okay,
(35:48):
what's he doing? What's he doing? The tsion the Television
City nominees are about to crash the stage. You will
shoot them both in the head. Okay, Hey, let's just
get up there. Okay, let's just go. Okay, we know
we want we wanted. Okay, guys, thank you so much.
(36:09):
I'm sorry. I'm sorry the guys, this is this? What
is the budget for this? By the way, we wanted
more gun stuff. We wanted so much more gun stuff.
I'm sorry, Brown, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Everyone.
(36:31):
Get down, Get down, not us at the award. Where's
the award? Is this the award? Boom boom? God? Let
me revisit the book one oh one where it says
there's no rather button than boom boom. I was waiting
(36:55):
for Jason Stathen to jump up from the audience and
save the day and the two seventeen them, but he's
not gonna be there. Our third scene comes from a
fellow named Daniels with an S who wrote, Hey, Alchemists,
greetings from Rainy lat Via, lat Via l A t V.
(37:19):
I ain't your quick wits in the moment never ceased
to amaze me. In my case, as soon as I
start to talk to anyone, I can almost imagine them
drifting off in their head looking out into the distance. Daniels,
I suggest you confirm my delusions. I'm imagining a person
going about their day, but as soon as he or
(37:40):
she starts a sentence, the people's nearby sort of drift
off and talk to themselves with an inner monologue. Perhaps, um,
I can tell by the way you're reading this that
you've already tuned out. Wow, it's like the last cats.
Uh then the ads told you so? Exclamation. Keep up
(38:03):
the great work, Daniels. Thanks Daniel. Did you like any
more ice? Team? Actually I would like an iced tea.
Do you have a fresh lemon wedge that you could
put it inside of it? Like a nice team two
T one with. Let just get a picture of iced
teas for the table, and if you could give us
(38:25):
a picture you wanted me to take on my phone?
No picture this table. I was stupid. I'm going to
kill myself right here in front of the toot. You
know what we are? Do you remember our allergies? Yeah?
(38:48):
Peanut and sorry? Yeah? And hey, come on that the tea.
Maybe I should put all those things in the tea.
Just see what happens to him? All right? One picture
of ice tea and then we're still thinking about what
we want to order. But we are not against another
bowl of bread? Yeah, taking time to thank you bread?
(39:12):
Can they don't understand what's up at table three? I
don't know. I mean how we're able to communicate with
just our thoughts? Are you talking to yourself? Sir? But
he's staring at the other waiter. But the other waiter
is insane? Anything? Uh? Shall you enjoy your bread? And
I'll refill the picture of ice. Team waiters staring at
(39:35):
each other so intensely they're piercing my ears, right, Jesus,
I mean, how do we do we kill them or ourselves? Ourselves?
That's the only way to cure on three one? Yeah,
I'm not gonna bowls of bread they want? Hey, Devin,
can you pick up table tin. Yeah, it's a it's
(39:56):
a four top. They were just saying, this guy is
so aggressive. What is this fun? And can we push
the specials a little more? What are the specials again?
What are the specials? The specials? We had a meeting
lineup about twenty minutes ago. Minutes and give me the
top three. Well, there's a ship on the special set.
There's one of three. Yeah, but if you give me
(40:17):
the top three because I hate to break this up,
but Devin and Darien, can you guys stop staring at
each other just a little more space. We put you
in different sections, like a little more space. Customers complain, Um,
people are just looking people you. It's you. I'm annoyed.
I'm annoyed because I've been trying to move you guys apart.
I feel like I'm a kindergarten teacher. I'm not a
kindergarten teacher, but I have to separate you because this
(40:39):
eye contact thing you do is upsetting. It's upsetting. It's upsetting,
it's upsetting to the culture of the restaurant. Huh okay,
So no staring, no waiter staring at each other in
the jungle restaurant. Yeah, okay, because that would be as disturbing.
It feels like we're about to attack each other. The
restaurant is jungle themed. Let's keep it Flash Cafe. I
(41:01):
know what it is. We all know that we work
at the Rainforest Cafe. Do you know the top three specials? Today?
We had a line up about it? Are you not
at the line I was up the lineup? Yeah for you?
Or were you just staring at Darien? I was physically there.
I would just were lost in Darien's eyes. Can anyone
(41:22):
just tell me the top three? Top three? Top three?
Because that's when I go to a table. If I
get in the top three, well yeah, go talk to Darren.
You want to take that one? Hi, sir, can I
help you? We've been needing five minutes and nobody's fucking
come over here. I'm sure it's I'm sure it's a
good reason. People have blood issues. Get my wife a
(41:43):
fucking cooke. You not a diet A diet coke? Get
her a coke? Is there a problem? Yeah, we've been
waiting here for five minutes. I understand there's a lot
of profane have blood issue. Do you see the family
we got? These two of these kids are kids those kids,
all about the monkeys, those of our kids to a
(42:04):
corpse at the rainforest. And now what you want? We
don't want about to think I'm about passage, Timmy. Can
you help out a little bit here? How many fucking waters?
And why those two guys looking at each other just
to just kill them both? What? What can I help?
You need? A table sevens losing their mind? Basically guys
using profanity? Okay, did you tell not telling them special?
(42:28):
But I hope maybe that usually passes with si? Okay,
can I tell you to the special? Are you you're
talking to me? We don't diet cocoa regular, regular cook
regular Darian with the regular coke Darien. It's for the lady. Yeah,
always the straw that's on request. I request it. I'll
(42:53):
be back if I could just kill this term. Why
don't you give us those fucking special Okay? The first
special we have is a steak tartar appetizer. I'm sorry,
it's awful. Let my face in it like a cow. Yeah,
just kind of the goal weight. And if you don't
like it, that's on you. I mean Thailand, you I
(43:14):
like it? I was speaking cow. If you just put
your face on the trough. I don't know if you
realize this, but that was out fucking loud. Sir, that
was fucking out loud. He called you a cow. All right,
let's move on past the steak tartar, your wife or
whatever the relationship my wife suggested, asked you if you
(43:34):
thought she was a cow? You didn't answer. So I
was trying to fill in the devoid that learned a
long time ago not to answer trap questions. Very happily married?
How happy? Not a scale of one to ten? All right,
So we heard steak tartar. That's an appetizer. Not not interested,
that's an appetizer. Let's do that, all right, we'll do that,
(43:55):
all right? The steak tartar six? Who did that? That
was me? That was you? Why the hell did you
do that? Because it's the only special weeks ago, two
weeks ago. You're doing a special we did two weeks ago. Man,
I'm not good at this job. What the fun is
going on? Should I kill a chef? I should? Just should?
We got to focus up here. Okay, I only got
(44:15):
a certain amount of food back here. We got the specials.
We got the Gator steak. Okay, we got the gator soup,
and we got the gator bites to push the gator, Yes,
push the gator. What is the gate? What is the
actual food that we're calling gator? It's gators? Gator tama?
What are we using? What is gator? It's okay, you
want to know, you know what? That's a dinosaur. We're
(44:39):
cooking a tiny little dinosaur. Right, it's a dead don't
very good? You listen to me, remembers everything? So look, okay,
can we just all focus up and push the gator?
All right? Yeah, sure to get rid of this deadly source. Yeah,
well you're the cook. You should absolutely tell us what
to do. I'm going back out to table seven, sir high,
what the fund are you doing? Back? You thought about
(45:01):
the ankle swelling? That's probably then bring up the cow dad.
Where's the food? Right? The food is coming? We ordered
to steak tart. Can I tell you about I don't
know what? I'm not a cheaper speak of the devil?
(45:22):
All right, please concentrated. I want to know about whatever,
especially you're just getting stuck in the volcano. Gator soup,
Gator soup? All right? Uh? Can we get a family style?
A family style gator soup. I feel it comes in
a little trough which the cow? How white? That's it?
(45:45):
You know who else had this proportions? Marilyn Monroe? Monroe, Yeah,
these are the same proportions. And Katema, is that your
daughter in the volcan? But yes, and yes, anyway you
could get her down? I don't know is any way
you could get it down. I'm too huge, I'm too
possibly blow up every minute. I don't wish death on
(46:05):
your sister. Get us a manager, fucking now, getting the manager? Hi,
how can I help you? Are you your rainy day?
I'm the manager? What which one of you? Am I
going to talk to you? Men? Is not the manager? Arrian?
We have been through this, We have been through this recently.
(46:29):
You are on the track to management. But I am
the manager and you're a manager. Why would you do that?
I'm so sorry. Anything we can do to make your
experience better, that is what we're here for. Well, I'll
tell you one thing. He's fucking way to keeps telling
my wife she looks like a cow and eat out
of a trough is rainforest at her? You look beautiful, man,
(46:55):
Thank you? I feel beautiful. I feel fucking beautiful and
that's what Matt is. Look at me, look at my car.
I was looking at my ask Yeah, well you are
a lovely lady. And the meals on us. Oh that's great,
the meal is on us. Oh my god. The volcano
is about to explode. Can you well I can't, sir,
(47:16):
but we are trying a new liquid today and I
think it's a warm one, so you might want to
There's been several minutes. We were told the volcano explode
every minute. How could it explode every minute? The cleanup
would be well, that's what I was thinking. Who told
you that? Did that? Waiter over there? You're fired, thank god?
And Darien step back, Darien, Darien, show your fun if
(47:39):
you're a man at youer? What do you want your
foot on the table? Darren? Why the fund is this
guy got his foot on the table. I don't know. Alright,
So here the Nature and History Museum. We would just
want to the Nature and History. You're gonna be shattering
shadowing Lucan and Rick. You're going to be shattering Luke
and Rick. Yeah I heard him. So you're and take
(48:00):
over their position. You gotta really shatter them. Yeah, yeah,
you know, have fun, that's what we do here? Were
you have fun? Huh? Have fun? You were at the
Rainforest Cafe before this sixteen years? Yeah, I felt I
felt like how do I get out? And I just
could never nail it. Yeah, and you never went to
a manageorial position. You're just now just a waiter work
the run Forest Cafe. Once. What's your name? That's the liquor?
(48:28):
What's that I serve? Domas me here had I used
to work with here at the Natural History Museum? So
do How could they still have it? They were calling
it the gator Bot. They cloned to the at his house.
(48:52):
We couldn't get it into the museum, but they didn't
even want to get it into muse name. I wanted
to get it into floods, like can you please check
out the bathrooms? Please make sure the clean looked on them?
They're very clean? Alright? Did that? This is exactly what
forest restaurant the dinosas gator? Yes, I hear what you're saying.
There was a rain for this cafe. It was a
(49:12):
real rain forest in the cafe. To look up, I've
never said there was Okay, I'm just saying I did
never say that. Put words on my math, right, you
think because you got all your tea they're so fancy.
It doesn't have all of them. There's a couple of faques.
This isn't interesting. You know, you go on break. I
just started. I'll go home and break the look at
(49:34):
you just came off a break. You just told me
to go on bright and until you go and break.
Until this guy to go on. But he didn't take it.
The break was up for ground. No, it wasn't up
for grabs. It works. There's a break on the table.
It's not on the table. Don't you put a break
on the side. I said, he has a break on
the table, on the side. There's no break on the table.
Break if I may, there's no table. You got to
(49:56):
go on break now it's on the table. I'm telling gonnah.
What was her name? Delica? Delica? Where is she from?
She's from Montana sent her masks. Excuse me, somebody has
has drawn nipples on the cave woman. What somebody has
drawn nipples on the cave woman in the diarma. We
(50:16):
can't have that. That's not historically accurate. Exactly, sir, we
don't know that someone has your own break. I work here.
Don't call me sir, Who the funk are you guy?
This guy's gonna shot the guy. He's gonna shatter me
the shatter good. This is the kind of competition I like. Oh,
I wanted to get here first. We need to get
to Liqua to clean the nipples on the cave when
(50:38):
we weren't here first. What are you doing here, Luke?
I still work here despite the fact that I got
a terrible YELP review because you were shadowing me. Oh man,
I want every square into that to be real. Why
can't it? Oh? Thank you all for writing in your
scene suggestions. Let's thank our alcomist for its a day,
(51:00):
James Heeney. Working folks find you on the interwebs and
they're out. Just go straight to the real James Heeney
dot com. Yeah, and you're doing some new animation stuff
for the episode. Generous speaking roll in the room. Good God,
I spend I spend so much time character better part
(51:21):
of a half hour, not the whole that. Man, I struggle.
I'm not good, but I'm gonna work at it. I
just love it. You feel they need to point out
that you're not good. I think I started In all fairness,
I'm much better than anybody that didn't even trying. Yes,
you are. I want to applaud the effort and it
(51:44):
is fun to make fun of it and you for it,
but but I do appreciate it. Thank you. I do
appreciate you. Craig Kakowski. I'm gonna throw a few Twitter
handles at you Kowski at Craigslist, peak cast at Orange
Tucks improv from my various So it's so fantastic. Vanessa Raglan, Yeah,
(52:04):
what do you got? You want to share the Dincy
Typewriter theater dot com. Yeah, and probably when this comes out,
I'm having a baby. Yeah, so I've got a little
less brain power than you. Well, listen, we got the
last of it today, So thank you, and not great
stuff I was offering, thanks for making it more. That's
ridiculous of you. Let's thank our very own engineer, Doug Baby.
(52:31):
No one else can lame that claim in the podcast world,
but y'all and our Papa Man Post sound design or
just rop producer Vie Lichtman her radio media place. I
(52:56):
courage you all to write a review and tell everyone
you've ever met a about our podcast. We love your support,
We greatly appreciate it. Please continue to write to us
with your scene suggestions at your name here at alchemy
this dot com. That's your name here at alchemy this
dot com. Until next time, thank you again and remember
Alchemy This News
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Kevin Pollak
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