October 29, 2019 • 54 mins
Healthy Patients and Sick Doctors; Murder In The Control Tower; C Minus Celebs At a ComicCon.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, we have a bit of an announcement here,
(00:01):
joe you want to talk about this T shirt design
contest that I do open submission to anybody listening or
a friend of a friend. Pass it along. You got
a design you want to make for a T shirt,
something that you've heard on the show, that you want
to live in perpetuity in an image. Will send it
to your name here at Alchemy. This dot com submissions
will be done by November, and then our Patreon members
(00:25):
are going to be able to vote on which design
they like the best, and that one's gonna get put
on a shirt. Wait, Joey, does that mean we'll have
shirts available just in time for the holidays. Oh my gosh,
that's an amazing idea. Thank you so much. So and James,
you're making sure that we have a shirt available at
where is it going to be like you're gonna be located.
You can get it at the Patreon page and we'll
(00:46):
get a link up that will be uh put in
all the different places. Okay, So submit your designs for
a new shirt. We're gonna do as many as we
approve in love, and then the Patreon members will weigh
in and vote as well. There votes will cast along
with hours and we'll pick ourselves some brilliant arts. Welcome
back to another episode O Alchemy this. I'm your host,
(01:09):
Kevin Polkist. That's Kevin bad that now, are you silly?
Dum dum? I put the body in the trunk because
of the smell. But I digress. Let's me an Rockamus,
Shall we know particular? Or ellut? Vanessa ragmanis? When the
time comes, what will you tell sweet Francis about what
boys want? They want money and they want power, honey,
(01:29):
and you're gonna take both of them before they can
good luck, take the hell out of I got something
to say. Fancy core avocado words or less. Please share
how much you missed us. I was just taking some.
He's counting like he's thinking very very much, very very much.
(01:55):
I had written down very very very much. Okay, I
had fun. You know what, there's James. You need, gentlemen, James,
when enjoying a proper afternoon tea, what's your go to
from those little sandwiches? The little sandwiches that comes with
the afternoon team lunchables? Right? I think it's a rich
crap that says so much about you. That most people
(02:17):
you're talking about it is exactly. I don't eat met
very many launchables. You're the only one saying lunchables little
tiny with like cumber. Okay, okay, we are so going
as a group to take James too. Now you guys
(02:39):
all go to tea without we ever see those training times.
You've just never seen a tear, trade t tears like
there's like trade tears, I mean a wedding. And if
we all please send your photos for James to your
name here acummunity dot com of you having high tea
(03:00):
or just pictures of tea trays. That we just lost
a huge segment of our British audience. Next up, it's
Craig when finishing, when fishing for rainbow trout, what's your
bait of choice? Nightcrawlers? Um, you gotta get them when
they're good and fresh. Yeah, get a handful of nightcrawlers.
H Mush them up, mush them up into a ball
(03:23):
and then put that ball on that ball in the hook,
put that hook in the water and wait for the
rainbow trout to come to You got him if you
got them? Uh. And last, but mayor Cocoa pubs have
a little unnoticed dried up poop in him. If you
think of least, it's Joey Greer Greer, God of prison purses.
(03:46):
But jeez, no, he's gonna give Vanessa hard time about
not knowing what a prison person that's like. You shouldn't
know that, you should know what joe you want to
you can. If you're having a salad, please please cut
(04:06):
the number of ways you love Doug, Babe, Joey one. Okay,
it's good, All right, let's get to our first scene.
I'd like to encourage you all to take a moment
to please write a review of the show in the
next one hundred hours. We greatly appreciate hearing from you
and to help us gather more listeners. All of today's
scene suggestions we gather from our listeners emails. If you'd
(04:27):
like to submit yours, please write to the podcast at
your name here and alchemy this dot com. That's your
name here at alchemy this dot com. Our first scene
comes from Michael, who wrote, Hello, welcome this. I've found
that some of my favorite episodes go completely off the
rails from the suggestions, so I'll keep it short and
my expectations low. A hospital full of healthy patients and
(04:55):
sick nurses and doctors. That's it. Thanks for making my
commute filled with laughter and making people stare at me
while I sit in the parking lot laughing through the tedium. Michael,
we gotta sick when we gotta get this one of
the RF Now, I'm a doctor. I need four hundred
(05:15):
pc T P T D T the back open. Yes, okay,
come on, everybody get around me. Let's get a fire going.
Who needs this patient needs a fire to two people.
This patient needs to get surgery. Now, let's get this
(05:38):
and let's get out of the r right now. Jim,
can you help me with this patient who's screaming? He's
a doctor. I need two d two hundred Dutch cheeps?
And why did you come to the hospital today? You
know when I was a kid, I um, I always
thought to myself, what would life be like if I
(05:58):
could not only get what? It's all my sleep? I
need a new schmuck and I am naked over there,
and brother, but you don't stay okay. I don't want
to get any shots for school. You gotta get their shots.
(06:19):
I don't think I need it. I gotta, but I
think I don't get the government's gonna come after us.
They're gonna take you awaye from me. I don't want
to get taken away month. They don't take your wife
from me. Use this little guy here to this little
guys a little gal. I'm a little out of it.
Oh no, you look a little clamity. I'm a little clamity. Yeah,
(06:42):
this little girl. It's here for our shots. All right.
What your name, honey, my name's Claire. And second hurt
is it? I don't face? What now your face? Yeah?
It's you just spit on me a handel, thank you? Well,
there's blood on that. I've been using it all day.
(07:06):
Uh so what do you sho? I guess I need
to get shots before school or else. You know what
will happen, don't you. Doc, government's gonna take me away
from him? Doctor. Welcome to the government offices. Now school
season is upon us. People will be coming in for
shots of vaccines and whatnot. All right, we want to
(07:27):
let you know that we are moving forward with the plan.
So you have to be more specific a more forceful
about it. This is the government. I just okay, we
gave it the dossier on science. Yes, okay, very well, Tucker,
what is going on? Nothing? I'm fine, doctor, As I
(07:50):
was saying, we're moving forward with the plan, and that
means we will be injecting uh these children confidence, Tucker,
confidence with with you know, Tucker, I don't trust you
right now and I'm on your team. It's okay, We're okay.
Everyone's fine. Tucker. You need to sell this is this
how you're doing You're just having a bunch of individual
(08:10):
meetings with every dug. For conspiracy to work, you have
to presume and understanding that you for a conspiratency. Something's happening.
I fecy, they're all dead, doctor. Now it's just you
(08:34):
and I me, You and me, yeah and me. Anyway,
Well we're okay. Claire, Claire Purper, that's my girl. Okay,
that's your mother in the back of the class. Awesomely,
I'm a little lingols. Okay. She wants to make sure
you don't cover anything that we wouldn't cover in home
(08:55):
sprays in my daddy air. Okay, Well, mamm you're not
supposed to be here. Just don't know. I'm not I'll
be in comples cull us. Okay, um, Now, I just
want to make sure clear you have all your shots.
You're all You're all shot at up, there's all. This
is the paperwork that the doctor ky Claire got her shot.
Yes he did. I said, yes she did. Just making
(09:18):
sure a little girl Claire has a pain as clear
they did. What's wrong with this guy? Do you want
to fight this kid? I would like to find this kid.
Kids got some weird No, please, don't want to find
a kid either. But it looks like you're someone a
little little gender judgureater has a penis? So what if
she does? What's this kill's name? Cliff? This Cliff Clu
(09:42):
Come here, mom, please don't. I don't will the toots
Very club. You're about to be rich? Get Yeah, Hi,
I believe you punched my son in the face. Oh
is your son? Um? This asshole? Oh? Yeah he is. Yeah,
(10:06):
I guess I'm a bigger asshole a lawyer? Ever heard
of that? So here you go, I'm suing you. Well
guess what didn't set because guess what counter suit filed?
Ship cooking or what I got him in the pot?
Smells great? Cook him up. I loved him, but weren't
brought in a legal argument. Right now, sir, this is
(10:28):
a legal argument. How did you know? Where did this guy? Yes?
Who else works at your law? Who? My friend? Who's
your friend? Danielle? Your bossy? My what? No, daniel your bossy?
That's her last nime? Your boss Oh the one? Yeah,
we're always like you're still bossy? Have the goddamn woman? Well? Well, well, Danielle,
(10:49):
well how did it go? Okay, it went terribly. You
didn't tell me that you let her know. I was
in the head over there were now we were in
a whole rigamordel. You are so bossy, your bossy. I'm
not bossy. I am the boss though, and your bossy. Okay,
why do we have to keep saying yes all the
time in this office? I'm a lawyer, all right? Yeah,
(11:10):
please please kick me. Just stopped yelling at each other. Okay,
this law firm is Hamorrge money suing itself? Okay? Were when? Okay?
Please stop doing that. Please stop. I have a gun
up putting in my mouth. Okay, I'm gonna go to
my office. Your office, Cliff, I'm so sorry. My mom
punched your teeth though it's not the first time she's
(11:32):
done it. But I've been told to ask you and
your family to comfort dinner. Yeah, no, probably not, but
we'll probably just blend it up. Well we're having Yeah,
we'll make sure that there's a liquid version for you. Well,
I'm not gonna split it. Okay, we all get a
(11:54):
dog and a half and that's just how it is. Well,
he gets three dogs because they're blended, and it went down.
I want to fill the cup. Good, damn it a
little hot dog Slurpani. Well I dropped the suit because
you guys extended this all of brand wear suits never
have never. That doesn't my camp s. I'm not afraid
(12:16):
if you, sir, I've taken two and a half years
of jiu jitsu and I can handle myself jiu jitsu.
Hold up to a katana sword. Huh damn take it out.
Look at this shute of your custom blade. I put
sharpion it myself. I don't mean to interrupt the blade
situation here. But Claire's eyes are k neon. What did
(12:40):
she get kind of shots recently? Meon? Her eyes are
glowing sometimes it's so bright I can't sleep at night. Listen, son,
if you want my daughter, there's a dowry invault. Claire
is not up for eat your hot dog suit. She's
not actually a little bit up that. I don't give
(13:02):
it how much you wanted to buy for clear to
work them on, to work what mine. I don't know
what you're talking about. And we're about as soon as
Cliff finishes is hot right now, I'm not afraid of
either of you. Then this works out perfectly. Yeah, I
want to pull my katana out with company to mine. Okay,
(13:24):
I'll pull up my katana. That's my penis. What everybody
look at my penis? So you got some sort of
complaint against my client. Yeah, first of all, your bossy.
We're on the same team, not for this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I have a complaint against your clients. I'm sorry, guys,
(13:45):
I'm sorry. Please start just penis forgetting Cliff. I brought
you a smoothie tip. I don't know why our parents
fight so much. I think they like each other. Secretly,
I think so too, I really do. There's a chance
(14:08):
we could become brother and I was hoping that maybe
that Dowery thing would work out. Maybe one day we'd
get married. A little boy, a little girl. He's a
little girl. He's a little girl. Okay, who are you?
I'm I'm just a groundsman and I heard y'all want
to go on a magic trip. What do we do?
(14:30):
I mean, of course we do. We didn't say it,
but yeah, why don't you come in this box? All right, groundsman?
This is the government? Uh these are my government aids.
Do you want us to talk? Are we supposed to listen?
Which we can handle? Which means you have access to
small children. Now, this is a briefcase full of injections. Shots.
(14:55):
We need you to inject. Don't inject yourself. Haven't hand
him the syringes before you explained that perform Just injected
yourself full of AIDS. That's the government. Yeah, that's thee
that's more. That's more aids. Okay, no, better to do better.
So that's good newsday is you finish all the AIDS injections?
(15:16):
Somebody these two somebody, here's the antidote. Here, I'm gonna
give you a shop. It also includes, uh an Amazon
situation where Amazon delivery you're gonna have You're gonna feel
the need to want to shop a little bit more.
Here we go. Just ask the children if you want
(15:36):
to go and ride Tucker. You are fired. No, absolutely, yes,
we would you have done never. I'm sorry. Is this
the syringe that has it? Why? Why do you care?
Why do you care? Just injecting yourself? I feel sick.
(15:57):
So you come to your boss soon, go man. Yeah,
that's right, that's what I'm not afraid of you your bossy. Okay,
I'm not afraid of anybody. I don't know why I
wear tied and all of a sudden, I'm the big pussy.
I'm not jiu jitsu. Okay, Well, I'm defending the government
here is Wait, why can't you be on my side?
Why can't you? I'm so sorry? Can we please just
(16:18):
say three points? Alvarado? And now let's hear from our sponsor,
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(16:41):
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(17:01):
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accent at all? Preez shipping? Never mind, never mind? Okay.
(17:24):
You know. The one thing I love about Casper is
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You want to have as many sleepovers as you can.
It's a way to get to know people an intimate
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(17:46):
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(18:11):
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Of course, that's one dollars towards select mattresses by visiting
Casper dot com slash Alchemy. Scene two comes from gossip Girl,
(18:32):
who wrote cavil all caps. I have a suggestion our
murder in an air traffic control tower that just happens
to lie next to a mysterious lake. I love you
x xo gossip Girl. Uh, six one, nine or nine?
Are we got you on runway to six one, nine
or nine? Oh? That's Steve cab and Steve we got
(18:57):
you set up on runway to. You have clearance. We
will all suck your butt when you get here safely. Luke, Luke, Yeah, yeah,
there's a dead body over here. Did you not notice this?
I'm trying to land planes. Luke, there's a dead body
under your Why don't you try to land plane and
worry less about dead bodies. Luke, We're gonna have a
whole bunch of dead bodies. Luke. There's no excuse for
(19:18):
dead bodies under the desk. Yeah, there's no excuse for
this sort of insubordination. Land some goddamn planes. I'm going
to call the cops. Fine, you do what you have
to do and let the record show I continued landing
planes seven five to so. So he it is, Oh,
(19:38):
I forgot it. It's not answering my cell phone. I'm
so sorry. This is nine one one. I'm having a day.
I'm sorry. There's a there's I believe a murder has
been committing. Yikes, what do you want me to do? Well,
I'm probably send a squad car. Yeah, I think so.
I'll send a squad car. And can I have your
name in? My name is Richard. Hello, baby. We don't
(20:00):
have milk? Oh ship when you get milk? I got
oat milk. It's in the cupboard. I don't want milk.
It's really good. It's in the cover. I'm not gonna
eat oat milk. Oh, my god, I'm I'm at work
right now. I'm at work, right I'm at work right now. Yeah,
have cereal? Dry or put water on it. Fine, I
will up. Looks like we just got a call. All right,
(20:22):
it looks like a possible murder. You want to want
to dry? You want me? If it's a possible murder,
let's not do it. I don't want to do it.
It's leg murder. I don't don't think that's how it works. Man.
Look from the West coast. Okay, we talk a certain way,
we live a certain way. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. Yeah,
(20:43):
so I talked a certain way like a cop does,
and I live a certain way like a cop does.
I don't. I don't care about the coasts. I really
don't understand why every day I come in here, dude,
and you're like, are you mad at me? Not mad
at you? Man, I'm not pissed madam me, or you're
wildly in love with me, regardless, we have to go
check out this possible Do you give a come? If
I'm in love with you, don't watch for the rest
of my life with you. Okay, you want to drive
(21:03):
over my driving, I'll drive. You need to relax, Luke,
you seem pretty calm. The cops are coming. If you
did something with this body. Oh my God, I'm sorry
you were talking about goats milk. I thought you were
Wait you heard that. Yeah, we have goats milk. We
(21:29):
don't have goats milk. We have oats milk, my goat smoke.
I wanted to know what is the best place. What's
going on? Joe baby? Are you just answering cell phone calls?
Because I hear everything that's going right, I'm on this
(21:50):
phone for you, my cell phone. I have had such
a day. I you know what I took mikel this morning.
I took a bottle of night bottle. They call that
rubot well, is that what I'm doing? Well, if it's robotesting,
but yeah, it was just the same. Hello one is
this number one? Is this ninber one? Is this now?
We're going to hear me and hang up? Yikes, Babe,
(22:12):
I found the goat smell. Oh heyda, I found the
goats so good. Oh, I'm god. No, I would not
drink that slimey. It's just that that's just not the norm.
(22:37):
It's a West Coast. You got a breath. We're here.
We're driving five six two five seventy five six two
five seven. When I got runway four for your copy,
suck my butt, Steve, how did you get back up
in the air so quick? Wait, you haven't commin yet
on a runway to suck my butt? Okay, I appreciate
the imp Hello. Hey, this is Diane. We were talking
(23:01):
earlier from one. Yeah, I'm off the clock now. Oh
I just use our nine one one technology. That's pretty sweet.
Are the cops coming saying about robot tripping? Well? Here,
first of all, did you end up getting a hold
of cops? Because this body started put all that through put?
But what is that? Well? Robots and has a similar
I woke up feeling like I genuinely had a calm.
(23:23):
I thought I took day quilt, but I didn't. Would
have been better all. But then I look, it's been
niquil I took. It would be the same motion sickness pills.
When you overdos, you do have a psychedelic experience. Is
that what's happening? Probably I feel weird. Yeah, so you
want to look at some of my guys for the milk? Yeah,
(23:44):
come straight direct? Yeah, which one is that? What kind
of milk does that give? You're not gonna be able
to handle that milk? There? I think I can handle it. Dude, Well,
we faded a roll and not quill to either. I
want that goat's milk. Let you suckle on the tape.
I don't take it. Hey again, they're all hybrids, were
(24:11):
cross breeding with deeferent What are you cross breeding them with? Kid? Look,
I don't care what they're what, what is in them?
I just want their fucking milk. Man. Alright, alright, we're hearing.
(24:34):
What's this up with your breathing? Listen? Whatever we find
in there, I hear you. I heard you say back
there in a flop sweat. What's going on? Because I've
never been in love before? Dude? Alright, why yeah, I haven't. Hey,
are you guys the cops give us a the door. Listen, well,
(24:56):
I don't want to be inside that room. There's a
dead body. Again, we're not hearing. Didn't stop up if
you were, No, I don't. That's what we're on the
clock of. Not come on, thank you? Oh my gosh.
All right? Can we get to work? Can we get
to work? Can we do our work? Open up? It's
the police. Hold on a second, close that. Do there
(25:19):
any long term effects? I just want to know what
is going on inside there. You want to do some work.
Let's start here. We can't solve a crime if we
can't solve the grime. Huh, you understand. No, I love
you man, I love you Johnson and Peabody. Can I
see you guys in my office. Yes, some complaints out
(25:40):
on the field about YouTube complaints. Yeah, yeah, I kind
of complaints. There's a murderer out at the airport. Yeah,
and uh, you're speaking to murder, speaking to murder, Peabody
here murder the hot dog? Murder? Did you kill that
hot dog? Yeah? Well how'd you kill it? Slice? Slicy
that you see? So, what's up? What's up? That's just
(26:02):
been some complaints that you're look really good, really really good.
This is part of the complaints. Feel people harassed, they
feel people feel harassed by you. Feel inspired? Yeah, exactly.
I'll be leaving the slam poetry on people's voicemails, such as,
um do do U? Tomorrow's not today? Wake up? Wake up?
(26:22):
Wake up? What do I see? What do I see?
Destruction all around me? Why not be the piece that
rises up above the clouds to see the ones that
want to come down? Not gonna happen, Hammer, hammer, hammer,
I am the truth, But wait was that you? Yeah,
I got that message on my machine. Oh yeah, I'm
just doing slamp. Excuse me? Is this is where I
(26:47):
go to if I have information on the recent murder? Yes,
I don't know who takes that. We would do you
mind waiting a second kind of the meal with the captain.
This is exactly what I'm talking about that could lead
to the solving of a crime. Woman you want to
talk about a woman? Wow, that's a woman. Everyone, we
(27:07):
don't identify and just let the person talk. Yes, please
share your How do you know my name? Wild? Guess No,
they've got it on their name on the share. How
can we help you? Look the airplane control towers right
(27:28):
next to a mysterious lake. That's true. You should probably
look into the mysterious leg. Literally, Maddy and Sherman or
whatever you are. What do you guys have to shut up?
We're getting a lead. Am the only officer that deserves
(27:50):
to have all these guns. You're you're saying we should
look into the lake, look into the mysterious leg. What's
your relationship the lake? Share? I live close to the lake.
Thanks shar Thank you, Sharon. Later, um, so you were saying,
like tomorrow tomorrow, tomorrow, today, Yeah, Ham, look in the lake.
(28:16):
I will, I totally will. How did they go? Did
they understand what you said today? Did they look in
the lake? I think so. I don't know if they've
looked in the lake, but I told them to look
into the lake. Why were we cursed with eternal life
and knowledge? It's not ours to ask, but it's our burden.
It is our burden. But I've grown accustomed to the burden.
(28:39):
I can't just to see man die over and over again.
You raised on the wrong star. Man, great, great, we
wished on the wrong star, and that goddamn Jamie has
to come back and remind us and Daddy. Can I
have some breakfast? Please? Yes? I didn't get dinner, so
it's all right. There's a jug of goat milk, and
(29:00):
it's just I Can I get something with it? Yes?
I guess it doesn't matter whether you eat or not.
You're immortal, all right, Let's keep telling you that I'm
a week more. Just have him live a normal life,
very week, as normal as I can. How could it
possibly be? Please? Just put some rice in your hand
(29:20):
and then pour some milk over it. Cooked right, yes,
cooking in the milk doesn't matter. Hey, it's me, Officer Peabody.
What are you doing at my house? I'm here alone,
it's three in the morning. What's going on? Who's at
the door? It's a cop? Oh, the cops are here.
(29:41):
How do you guys know you? Never mind, I'm leaving.
What's going to mind? I'm leaving Peabody. Never mind, I'm leaving.
Bra Were you seeing Peabody? How do you know him?
I love him? That cop partners your partner. How come
I've never seen him before? I talk about him all
(30:01):
the time. Well you don't, I guess. I'm sure that's
him again. Hello, Hey, officer Cheryl. That voice is so familiar.
Who's at the door. It's Carol Cheryl Cheryl Candell. We
worked together at the precinct. You were such a bit.
(30:22):
This guy is always messing with me. He left me
a weird message on my machine. I was coming as
a courtesy call because you got what's his face? Peabody's
seven out there. I was doing my rounds. I see
Peabody in the street seven and I thought, I don't
know who's at the bottom of this nut? That squirrel?
Do I know you? Okay, you've been leaving me slam messages.
(30:45):
Keep your man on a leash. Listen. I don't understand.
Why are you see body? Lady? Am I seeing Peabody again?
What's going on? Something weird going on? No, I'm not
seeing pooks like you're in love with Peabody. No, no, no,
In fact, it seems like my husband's and hiding his
partner and I this is Peabody. Come on here alone.
(31:08):
I'm going to go for Peabody. I'm going to take
a look at the mysterious, Like, what are you guys
doing in the break room? Oh my god, we're prepping
for the case. It's not it's not, dude, We're like
said out it. Yes, I hate you. I'm believing. I
just wanted coffee. I'm out coffee. The bean makes needs
(31:31):
to be seen. Energy energy energy energy energy? What brings
you these close to the lake? Stayed your name and
burbis before you bad share? We should It's the only
place to end it. What you want to end it?
(31:51):
Sick of living forever? League? We want to die? Die?
Should are you? Yes? We're ten thousand years old. We're ready.
I'm sorry I was on here a steak out. I
can't help it over here. What I've gathered your mortals?
Immortals ten thou years old? How are you gonna die?
(32:14):
That's why we're here at the lake. What the lady
of the lake will kill us? Strange? Why wouldn't you
have done this a while ago if it was on
the table. Well, we have a kid, and you know, yeah, yeah, okay,
so we have a five year old? Yeah? You who
joins you to the lake? What is your baby? I
(32:36):
brought my submarine from the station. I was going to
take a look in there for some clues because that
one told me check out the lake. Maybe I don't
know I did. That was a few days ago. A
lot has changed that. My partners convinced me that that
we want to die, and we're going to look into
the lake. So we're gonna look in the lake. There's
(32:59):
a lady of the lake lives there. There was a
genie lady of the lake about this murder. I don't
know who was up in that station tower. I'm trying
to get to the bottom of their that body. It
doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. You'll all die, Luke. I'm
really sorry I called the cops on you. I was
certain that you killed that guy. He was under your
task while I was laying and playing. You thought I
(33:20):
went ahead and killed somebody. No, I still don't know
what the explanation for a dead body under your table is. Right,
So are you satisfied now at the place of investigated? Well,
I don't. It's honest. I have not heard a verdict, right,
So how is it still my problem? It's not. I
just wanted to apologize. It's not awkward. Give me one second. Hello,
I did it again. Oh no, you didn't. I did.
(33:43):
I did it again. And it still feels good. You know,
of course it feels good. But that's like a psychedelic experience,
and it's terrible for your liver. Why didn't you mention
the liver thing earlier? Anything that's going to make you
have that kind of like you're what I call mine
when what I expect expertise, Babe, got cat bit me.
The goat cat bit me. I told you you shouldn't
(34:04):
let that thing in. What were you kidding it? Well, well, well,
if it isn't the pilot that always says that butt
thing when he's in the air, suck suck my ass. Listen,
this is a pilot's locker room. Okay, it's not a
place for games unless you want to get hurt, or
(34:24):
unless you kill me and then throw me underneath underneath
the desk of the tower. Do you know what you want?
I want you to kill me. Hey, I want you
to kill all right, suck my ass. Well that's a
(34:49):
pretty incriminating black box recording. Sohow that's the conclusion of
Shane two. I don't see comes from? Hey, you guys, anyway,
I could stop doing the podcast. If you're reading this
(35:12):
on the air, sorry for the awkwardness. My scene suggestion
is that a comic con um and you're all C
plus level celebrities trying to sell your ship loves Joey.
That's so weird. And uh oh, I was listen. I
(35:34):
was wondering if you'd like to purchase this. It's showing
me this well. I waited a long time in line,
and I figured you'd want one. This marker is permanent
and it's easy to sign anything you want in my
signatures on it. So it's a photo of you know,
he's selling the marker. I'm selling the marker. I just
have this photo to show how well it works. Are
(35:57):
you together? Okay? We're together. I'm a fan. What's this like?
What's your name? What's your name? Okay, I'm gonna sign
it the goddamn it. That's my head shot. But the
head shot, man, look at this. I don't want this
head shot. This is a view I want. Look at
this marker. It's a normal marker. I'm a big fan
(36:17):
of I'm right here their second day. I feel like
you're here with me more do you want? I feel
like you want them. I'm a big fan. If he
wanted something to happen, he could close the deal. But
I'm with you. I bet you'd feel the same about
if Jessica Rabbit was a real persure here? Yeah, maybe
are you getting something? Because I'm waiting? I want this
(36:38):
guy trying to sell up. Look, let's just all get this. Look. Look,
do you do you want to have consensual sex? I
loved it? All right, then let's do that. And who
else wants a head shot signed? I do? Okay? Great?
You know what it's actually if everyone could just throw
twenty dollars at me and here we go, ready on
the couch, do it? Okay, here we go? Alright, right
a second, we're standing in line. Why are we throwing money.
(36:59):
I'm about with a fan and I this is exciting
for me. Okay to watch? Yeah, hold on, hold wait,
wait before the stores are aligned. Well there we go. Great,
all right, let's let's do this. Wait. Are you not
excited about it? No, I'm excited. I just I'm not
(37:20):
excited about it. You're not like your character was. Yeah,
Mr Travolto, the line has been waiting for a couple
of hours. Now, thank you for for arriving somewhat on time.
We've got your table set up here to do some
set up, right, So you've got your table set up
and people are very excited. It's your first con. I've
(37:42):
never done a con before, is what I'm saying. So people, basically,
people step up. They want to tell you the life story,
and I'll help to try to slow that downing. Gotta
keep it moving, is what we're going for. So as
many of these posters as possible. It's a hundred bucks
to throw. They're gonna ask for selfies. Those are an
extra forty dollars. You'll let me know as a breach
bird um, which means my feet came out. No, I
(38:04):
know what that means. So my mother was really traumatized
by the whole thing, and I think I was would
be too. Isn't your job to keep this line moving
to protect Mr Travolta. Take me to a chiropactor as
an infant who suffer and I was never going to
get over because we carry around that trauma with exactly.
(38:25):
Come with me, come with sorry, I'll be Let's pick
this up. Put your head down. Mr. Come on, let's
make the crowd. Let's go. Come on, lets get There's
a lot of people and I'm looking to see you.
I'm gonna make sure that no one does. You're gonna
be protected, Okay, I don't want anyone to interact with you.
You're safe, You're safe, all right. Come on, let's get
him in the car. Wait, hold on that that backfired, Tom,
Thanks for coming in. Listen. We just had a couple
(38:47):
of complaints. I love my job, I love and foremost
from Mr Travolta's people. They wanted to know that why
after he finally agreed to do a com he was
there for about forty one second. I'll tell you. I'll
tell you what happened. I am My job is to
protect and if Intertrivolta is under a situation with a
lot of people that I don't know who they are,
haven't been able to pat down, and I'm not sure
(39:08):
if they're blood to see if through or not. You've
been working. They can imagine I've been here for about
two days. Excuse me, sir, you're under arrest. I knew
this was gonna come, sir. Thank you so much for
employment for as long as you did. I'm ready to go. Okay, great,
you want to hear the charges? Are you just good
to go? If you can, I tell you what I
think they are. Let's do that. I think it's involuntary,
(39:32):
voluntary and ex voluntary manslaughter. I believe it. There was
in charge if I'm a hundred percent bank robbery of
a minor and uh also grand theft trotto, I didn't
have that one. Interesting. Also kidnapping. Mhmm, let's go. Hey,
(39:53):
I can I get a large cut please? Man? This
place is packed here. Thanks. You know. I was actually
in The Walking Dead. Oh you know what I'm saying. Yeah,
it's not a big deal, but I played a zombie
and episode three of the first season and I and
I came back. I have never been in love me. Yeah,
(40:16):
I don't know I'm helping him. I just was giving
my heads up about my you know, screen experience. This
guy is in The Walking Dead a couple episodes. I'm
on a second date today. Oh, I thought you were
approaching me about love us. Well, I just want to
know your advice. I mean, like, I don't know. I
feel like I don't really fit in this place. Always
(40:37):
this place. Nobody here fits in. Oh that's good to know. Yeah,
this place sucks. Thank thank you. So I'm seeing this
girl dead right, go on, I'm sorry. That's seven dollar coke.
I know it's expensive. Go on, seven dollars. Oh don't
give me ship. Please. You see this place, let me
try to up sell it to a meal. Kirk, you
(40:59):
know what it's not. It's expensive when you bundle it
with a burger. But tell me about Linda was all right,
give me the burger four dollars total. That's a great deal.
But soda seven in the burger, so you said, went
down in price. So how much is the burger? Usually
alone is fourteen dollars? So you're basically getting a coke
(41:19):
from saving seven dollars. Oh, it's just for burger. And
did you just make money on that alright, guys, guys,
everybody ever. Oh hi, I'm sorry, Yeah, come all over
(41:40):
your mouth. Oh no, that's not coming. Um, it's a
funny story. I'm so sorry. I melted some clear gummy
bears in the Marca and yeah, I just want to
say I'm sorry. I couldn't get don't wish that we
don't have to talk about it. I'm sorry, talk about it. Thanks,
I'm glad you're friend of the show. I just wanted
(42:02):
to say, Dad, I hope that was worth it, and
I'm happy that you're happy. So I got you this
burger and I'm gonna I'm gonna take off because no, no, no,
let's stay together. But you you met him, and I
feel like that's probably like the guy you want to
be with. We did not hit it off. What do
you mean it wasn't good for either of us. We
(42:22):
did not hit it off. It wasn't fun. He put
gummy bears in the microwave and he smashed my face
into them while he cried, I want to recreate the sensation.
I'm not. I can't. I can't imappulate. You can immappulate
he means ejaculate. He tried to force my face into
(42:44):
melted gummy bears to give me a sensation. I'm not
even I wasn't interested in in the first I didn't
want That's not what the fun part is for me.
Just so you know, we and most women are looking
forward to that part. You know, you're nothing like your character.
I know that dad. His character was a gentleman. Okay,
(43:07):
his character, his character on this show. No, what was
more zenorous than his character? Oh? My, his character, doctor
Elliott velveteen Steve. I really feel like I should be
(43:29):
signing stuff out there. I feel like I'm kind of
more a celebrity than just an employee to fill orders
coax running out you want to refill the coke. I
just I feel like this is okay, I just got it.
It's just shooting out soda water. We need syrup, all right,
I'm putting the syrup underneath here, all right. It's just
sometimes I feel like you're wasting my talents, Like I
(43:49):
could probably get a lot of people to come here
trying to get autographs. That's what I call them. When
it's when i'm because I'll put my own makeup drawing
on there. Well, well, no, no, that's a good ideally, beautiful.
Oh that's latte art. It's a leaf. Oh my god,
you shouldn't be here, thank you? Could you tell could
you tell my boss that he should be over at
(44:10):
the coffee bean? Oh no, no, no, I want to
I'm an artist, artist, like an actual artist like you
might not recognize that. We don't do the leaf art.
That's just something he does. Yeah. Uh, you probably don't
recognize me. Well, I'm in the episode three of the
Walking Dead. I played the zombie that Oh everybody plays
(44:30):
zombies on that show. Not everybody know every weirdo that
I know. I'm not a weirdo. Larry, Hi, Hey, thanks
for coming into read for Dr velveteen. Um, I want
to start a page three? Can I give you a
little heads up? I actually I just prefer to jump
right and if you don't mind, okay, but I don't
(44:51):
know if you heard me. I prefer to just jump
right in. Okay, I did. I did a lot of
people reading that. One word is map be late. So
if you just want to yeah, ready, when you are
the cameras rolling, Dr Grace, I found some of the
(45:11):
horilium crystals. Can I just stop it first? Um, that's
an escafe crystal escafe Nescafe, escafe B pencil. I don't
care an escafe. Go again when you're ready. Dr Grace,
(45:32):
I saw some of the horilium crystals. Why did I
say that again yet? N's Cafe. Okay, you're a trauma surgeon. Yes,
Dr Grace, I found some of the ness Cafe crystals.
(45:54):
So you got the job based on that audition. And
to everyone all the actors here tonight that are wondering
how how to make it in the industry, I'll tell
you right now. You just do it. Okay, But back
to no. This is my book signing, sir, and you
just stood up and started taking over this. Okay, okay,
(46:22):
all right? You know why don't we do this? Why
don't we just have everyone up? And then this is
a Barnes and Noble. You guys came here to Glendell
to sign my book. They wanted to come to sign
your book. I'm just getting confused because you know season
two when the christianing army came through and they were
(46:43):
with the finger into my chest, well, then you need
to listen up. They had all the armaments that you
can imagine, and they had access to the Scifian uh,
liquid can time travel individuals back to the first doing this?
Uh yeah, let me just take my shoes up a
should you mind if I? Well? Thank god, there's a
(47:05):
Starbucks in this Barnes and Noble. Can I get a
chi latte? Sure? Do you want it with? You know what?
Let me just make it the way I like it. Hey,
do I do I know you from something? Do you
I recognize you? Do you? Yes? You still be a
seven dollar coke at Comic Con last week? Yeah? Yeah,
I sometimes they have us cater events and we were
(47:26):
doing our Starbucks thing at the comic Con. I never
forget paying that much for coke. Yeah, I thought you
recognized me from my show, which show Walking? And now
I didn't watch that show. Well it's a pretty big, yeah,
I've heard of it. Oh, of course you have. It's big. Yeah.
(47:47):
I was a third episode. Okay, though I come out
behind the bookshelf. Actually in the fourth season, I come
back a totally different character. Uh, this one I was good.
I couldn't help that. No, Oh, absolutely, you must be good. Yeah.
I was about to tell a story about the fourth
(48:08):
season love. Hey, welcome to casting. So one of our
associates was at the Starbucks recently, Linda. You might remember
speaking to her, Linda, Yeah, phone, that would be crazy
if I knew that. Yeah, she said you had the goods.
Now I have a big project and I'm looking for
(48:29):
a leading man. You're kidding we're bringing back Dr Velveteen
that that show? Was it popular enough to bring back? Huh? Okay? Alright, alright,
well I'm not I'm not picky for roles. Sure, well
you should be. And here are the sides. Okay, if
you have any questions, let me know. No, I think
I can just okay that that does say nest cafe.
(48:52):
What does the word that looks like? It doesn't say that.
It's as mapulous, So we're changing that to nest cafe
straight just spelling. Okay, sandwich, thank you so much, you know,
to get back from me and then shove it up
your ass. Okay, this really is show business. This is
show business, and I'm looking for my doctor velveteen. Unless somebody, yeah,
(49:16):
unless somebody kicks down that door and the old Velveteen
comes in here and demands his job back, it's pretty
much gonna be yours, my man. Here we go. Okay.
I'm really excited to work with you. Wow, Mr Travolta,
I didn't expect to get cast in such a popular
show with such a popular actor. That's all right, you
know you're here on set, so all equals? Are we
(49:37):
all equals? Do you have any tips for somebody that's
trying to stand out but not look like I'm trying
to stand out and say I'm fast? Oh shit, sayd fast?
Hey can I get a mapulous action? Uh? And that's
why I want to be taken onto the thing? And
that I've noticed that there was the hut. I'm sorry?
(50:00):
Was that too slow? You're you're you're holding your scripts.
So here's the problem. Even if it's really sir, this
is this is a close set. I'm Mr Velveteen, this
is I'm Mr. He just got through. I don't know.
He just not throw Dr Grace. I see that you
(50:21):
found the Hormilion crystals. You can't take this from me.
I worked hard for I'm the velveteen doctor. No you're
a hack. No, you're a hack. You lost the job
because you didn't take commitment. And we're going close on
John Volta. Wait, wait, you aren't even looking at us
right now. Look, let's look at the cameras. Are all
(50:43):
pointing it. His face gets bigger, but I don't mind.
Do you know he was kidnapped last week? That's so
weird at that that that that welcome back to Enter
Damon tonight, we have a clip exclusively from the set
of Dr velveteen Their brain back that old class like
a lot of people watch put your shirt. Oh no,
(51:06):
let's go to that clip now. I'm I'm Mr Palbert.
You're gonna be Mr Velvet Team when you get you
gonna put this right in your mom Wow. That was
a crazy clip, like it was the audio of two
known names screaming and a close up of John Travolta's
smiling evily into the camera. I think that's why you
(51:30):
gotta watch entertainment tonight when it goes out live. Seriously,
that's when you get the scalpel. Okay, what's meme culture?
I just noticed that people screaming about Okay, just like
(51:51):
it's like the weirder, the better, the more you thank you.
I'm sorry, open fire over here quick, Dr. You're wearing
no clothes. Okay, well then let's get on here we go, Yes, yes,
(52:15):
And our final scene was sent it again by Joey
Graham that's it for today. Let's thank our alchemist Joey.
You're welcome. Yeah, thank you so much for being here, buddy.
Um outside their house, outside their house, Yes, that's usually
lurking at jeby Grieber on Instagram. If you want to
(52:35):
keep in viral, If you want to keep in viral, yeah,
alright cool, Chris Avarado. Um, you can find me outside
your house. Stand that's right to be back here we go,
love you guys. How many ones? James Heeney. Well, I'm
gonna not be outside of your house. I'm not a
creeper like that, but I'll be inside. I'll be inside
your house, under your bed. Okay, Coolgowski. I'm doing an
(53:01):
episode of Dr velveteen. It's it's an inside Scientology. We
have production, so you're going to see it inside their house. Great. Um,
not invited to do anything, so no, but it's cool.
It is cool. It's so cool. Joda Dynasty. Typewriters, Joda Dynasty.
(53:26):
I like the boys, say Juda Dynasty. Let's thank our
engineer Doug Baine, our post on design artist Raphael Brito,
And I heard media we're losing him. Who cares? I
encourage all of you to write a review. Please tell
everyone you've ever met and write to us at your
name here at alchemy this dot com. I'm your host,
(53:47):
Kevin and Poll. I love you so very much. No no,
no you until next time. And a football pepper and
(54:19):
a full
All right, we have a bit of an announcement here,
(00:01):
joe you want to talk about this T shirt design
contest that I do open submission to anybody listening or
a friend of a friend. Pass it along. You got
a design you want to make for a T shirt,
something that you've heard on the show, that you want
to live in perpetuity in an image. Will send it
to your name here at Alchemy. This dot com submissions
will be done by November, and then our Patreon members
(00:25):
are going to be able to vote on which design
they like the best, and that one's gonna get put
on a shirt. Wait, Joey, does that mean we'll have
shirts available just in time for the holidays. Oh my gosh,
that's an amazing idea. Thank you so much. So and James,
you're making sure that we have a shirt available at
where is it going to be like you're gonna be located.
You can get it at the Patreon page and we'll
(00:46):
get a link up that will be uh put in
all the different places. Okay, So submit your designs for
a new shirt. We're gonna do as many as we
approve in love, and then the Patreon members will weigh
in and vote as well. There votes will cast along
with hours and we'll pick ourselves some brilliant arts. Welcome
back to another episode O Alchemy this. I'm your host,
(01:09):
Kevin Polkist. That's Kevin bad that now, are you silly?
Dum dum? I put the body in the trunk because
of the smell. But I digress. Let's me an Rockamus,
Shall we know particular? Or ellut? Vanessa ragmanis? When the
time comes, what will you tell sweet Francis about what
boys want? They want money and they want power, honey,
(01:29):
and you're gonna take both of them before they can
good luck, take the hell out of I got something
to say. Fancy core avocado words or less. Please share
how much you missed us. I was just taking some.
He's counting like he's thinking very very much, very very much.
(01:55):
I had written down very very very much. Okay, I
had fun. You know what, there's James. You need, gentlemen, James,
when enjoying a proper afternoon tea, what's your go to
from those little sandwiches? The little sandwiches that comes with
the afternoon team lunchables? Right? I think it's a rich
crap that says so much about you. That most people
(02:17):
you're talking about it is exactly. I don't eat met
very many launchables. You're the only one saying lunchables little
tiny with like cumber. Okay, okay, we are so going
as a group to take James too. Now you guys
(02:39):
all go to tea without we ever see those training times.
You've just never seen a tear, trade t tears like
there's like trade tears, I mean a wedding. And if
we all please send your photos for James to your
name here acummunity dot com of you having high tea
(03:00):
or just pictures of tea trays. That we just lost
a huge segment of our British audience. Next up, it's
Craig when finishing, when fishing for rainbow trout, what's your
bait of choice? Nightcrawlers? Um, you gotta get them when
they're good and fresh. Yeah, get a handful of nightcrawlers.
H Mush them up, mush them up into a ball
(03:23):
and then put that ball on that ball in the hook,
put that hook in the water and wait for the
rainbow trout to come to You got him if you
got them? Uh. And last, but mayor Cocoa pubs have
a little unnoticed dried up poop in him. If you
think of least, it's Joey Greer Greer, God of prison purses.
(03:46):
But jeez, no, he's gonna give Vanessa hard time about
not knowing what a prison person that's like. You shouldn't
know that, you should know what joe you want to
you can. If you're having a salad, please please cut
(04:06):
the number of ways you love Doug, Babe, Joey one. Okay,
it's good, All right, let's get to our first scene.
I'd like to encourage you all to take a moment
to please write a review of the show in the
next one hundred hours. We greatly appreciate hearing from you
and to help us gather more listeners. All of today's
scene suggestions we gather from our listeners emails. If you'd
(04:27):
like to submit yours, please write to the podcast at
your name here and alchemy this dot com. That's your
name here at alchemy this dot com. Our first scene
comes from Michael, who wrote, Hello, welcome this. I've found
that some of my favorite episodes go completely off the
rails from the suggestions, so I'll keep it short and
my expectations low. A hospital full of healthy patients and
(04:55):
sick nurses and doctors. That's it. Thanks for making my
commute filled with laughter and making people stare at me
while I sit in the parking lot laughing through the tedium. Michael,
we gotta sick when we gotta get this one of
the RF Now, I'm a doctor. I need four hundred
(05:15):
pc T P T D T the back open. Yes, okay,
come on, everybody get around me. Let's get a fire going.
Who needs this patient needs a fire to two people.
This patient needs to get surgery. Now, let's get this
(05:38):
and let's get out of the r right now. Jim,
can you help me with this patient who's screaming? He's
a doctor. I need two d two hundred Dutch cheeps?
And why did you come to the hospital today? You
know when I was a kid, I um, I always
thought to myself, what would life be like if I
(05:58):
could not only get what? It's all my sleep? I
need a new schmuck and I am naked over there,
and brother, but you don't stay okay. I don't want
to get any shots for school. You gotta get their shots.
(06:19):
I don't think I need it. I gotta, but I
think I don't get the government's gonna come after us.
They're gonna take you awaye from me. I don't want
to get taken away month. They don't take your wife
from me. Use this little guy here to this little
guys a little gal. I'm a little out of it.
Oh no, you look a little clamity. I'm a little clamity. Yeah,
(06:42):
this little girl. It's here for our shots. All right.
What your name, honey, my name's Claire. And second hurt
is it? I don't face? What now your face? Yeah?
It's you just spit on me a handel, thank you? Well,
there's blood on that. I've been using it all day.
(07:06):
Uh so what do you sho? I guess I need
to get shots before school or else. You know what
will happen, don't you. Doc, government's gonna take me away
from him? Doctor. Welcome to the government offices. Now school
season is upon us. People will be coming in for
shots of vaccines and whatnot. All right, we want to
(07:27):
let you know that we are moving forward with the plan.
So you have to be more specific a more forceful
about it. This is the government. I just okay, we
gave it the dossier on science. Yes, okay, very well, Tucker,
what is going on? Nothing? I'm fine, doctor, As I
(07:50):
was saying, we're moving forward with the plan, and that
means we will be injecting uh these children confidence, Tucker,
confidence with with you know, Tucker, I don't trust you
right now and I'm on your team. It's okay, We're okay.
Everyone's fine. Tucker. You need to sell this is this
how you're doing You're just having a bunch of individual
(08:10):
meetings with every dug. For conspiracy to work, you have
to presume and understanding that you for a conspiratency. Something's happening.
I fecy, they're all dead, doctor. Now it's just you
(08:34):
and I me, You and me, yeah and me. Anyway,
Well we're okay. Claire, Claire Purper, that's my girl. Okay,
that's your mother in the back of the class. Awesomely,
I'm a little lingols. Okay. She wants to make sure
you don't cover anything that we wouldn't cover in home
(08:55):
sprays in my daddy air. Okay, Well, mamm you're not
supposed to be here. Just don't know. I'm not I'll
be in comples cull us. Okay, um, Now, I just
want to make sure clear you have all your shots.
You're all You're all shot at up, there's all. This
is the paperwork that the doctor ky Claire got her shot.
Yes he did. I said, yes she did. Just making
(09:18):
sure a little girl Claire has a pain as clear
they did. What's wrong with this guy? Do you want
to fight this kid? I would like to find this kid.
Kids got some weird No, please, don't want to find
a kid either. But it looks like you're someone a
little little gender judgureater has a penis? So what if
she does? What's this kill's name? Cliff? This Cliff Clu
(09:42):
Come here, mom, please don't. I don't will the toots
Very club. You're about to be rich? Get Yeah, Hi,
I believe you punched my son in the face. Oh
is your son? Um? This asshole? Oh? Yeah he is. Yeah,
(10:06):
I guess I'm a bigger asshole a lawyer? Ever heard
of that? So here you go, I'm suing you. Well
guess what didn't set because guess what counter suit filed?
Ship cooking or what I got him in the pot?
Smells great? Cook him up. I loved him, but weren't
brought in a legal argument. Right now, sir, this is
(10:28):
a legal argument. How did you know? Where did this guy? Yes?
Who else works at your law? Who? My friend? Who's
your friend? Danielle? Your bossy? My what? No, daniel your bossy?
That's her last nime? Your boss Oh the one? Yeah,
we're always like you're still bossy? Have the goddamn woman? Well? Well, well, Danielle,
(10:49):
well how did it go? Okay, it went terribly. You
didn't tell me that you let her know. I was
in the head over there were now we were in
a whole rigamordel. You are so bossy, your bossy. I'm
not bossy. I am the boss though, and your bossy. Okay,
why do we have to keep saying yes all the
time in this office? I'm a lawyer, all right? Yeah,
(11:10):
please please kick me. Just stopped yelling at each other. Okay,
this law firm is Hamorrge money suing itself? Okay? Were when? Okay?
Please stop doing that. Please stop. I have a gun
up putting in my mouth. Okay, I'm gonna go to
my office. Your office, Cliff, I'm so sorry. My mom
punched your teeth though it's not the first time she's
(11:32):
done it. But I've been told to ask you and
your family to comfort dinner. Yeah, no, probably not, but
we'll probably just blend it up. Well we're having Yeah,
we'll make sure that there's a liquid version for you. Well,
I'm not gonna split it. Okay, we all get a
(11:54):
dog and a half and that's just how it is. Well,
he gets three dogs because they're blended, and it went down.
I want to fill the cup. Good, damn it a
little hot dog Slurpani. Well I dropped the suit because
you guys extended this all of brand wear suits never
have never. That doesn't my camp s. I'm not afraid
(12:16):
if you, sir, I've taken two and a half years
of jiu jitsu and I can handle myself jiu jitsu.
Hold up to a katana sword. Huh damn take it out.
Look at this shute of your custom blade. I put
sharpion it myself. I don't mean to interrupt the blade
situation here. But Claire's eyes are k neon. What did
(12:40):
she get kind of shots recently? Meon? Her eyes are
glowing sometimes it's so bright I can't sleep at night. Listen, son,
if you want my daughter, there's a dowry invault. Claire
is not up for eat your hot dog suit. She's
not actually a little bit up that. I don't give
(13:02):
it how much you wanted to buy for clear to
work them on, to work what mine. I don't know
what you're talking about. And we're about as soon as
Cliff finishes is hot right now, I'm not afraid of
either of you. Then this works out perfectly. Yeah, I
want to pull my katana out with company to mine. Okay,
(13:24):
I'll pull up my katana. That's my penis. What everybody
look at my penis? So you got some sort of
complaint against my client. Yeah, first of all, your bossy.
We're on the same team, not for this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I have a complaint against your clients. I'm sorry, guys,
(13:45):
I'm sorry. Please start just penis forgetting Cliff. I brought
you a smoothie tip. I don't know why our parents
fight so much. I think they like each other. Secretly,
I think so too, I really do. There's a chance
(14:08):
we could become brother and I was hoping that maybe
that Dowery thing would work out. Maybe one day we'd
get married. A little boy, a little girl. He's a
little girl. He's a little girl. Okay, who are you?
I'm I'm just a groundsman and I heard y'all want
to go on a magic trip. What do we do?
(14:30):
I mean, of course we do. We didn't say it,
but yeah, why don't you come in this box? All right, groundsman?
This is the government? Uh these are my government aids.
Do you want us to talk? Are we supposed to listen?
Which we can handle? Which means you have access to
small children. Now, this is a briefcase full of injections. Shots.
(14:55):
We need you to inject. Don't inject yourself. Haven't hand
him the syringes before you explained that perform Just injected
yourself full of AIDS. That's the government. Yeah, that's thee
that's more. That's more aids. Okay, no, better to do better.
So that's good newsday is you finish all the AIDS injections?
(15:16):
Somebody these two somebody, here's the antidote. Here, I'm gonna
give you a shop. It also includes, uh an Amazon
situation where Amazon delivery you're gonna have You're gonna feel
the need to want to shop a little bit more.
Here we go. Just ask the children if you want
(15:36):
to go and ride Tucker. You are fired. No, absolutely, yes,
we would you have done never. I'm sorry. Is this
the syringe that has it? Why? Why do you care?
Why do you care? Just injecting yourself? I feel sick.
(15:57):
So you come to your boss soon, go man. Yeah,
that's right, that's what I'm not afraid of you your bossy. Okay,
I'm not afraid of anybody. I don't know why I
wear tied and all of a sudden, I'm the big pussy.
I'm not jiu jitsu. Okay, Well, I'm defending the government
here is Wait, why can't you be on my side?
Why can't you? I'm so sorry? Can we please just
(16:18):
say three points? Alvarado? And now let's hear from our sponsor,
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(17:24):
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(17:46):
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(18:11):
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Of course, that's one dollars towards select mattresses by visiting
Casper dot com slash Alchemy. Scene two comes from gossip Girl,
(18:32):
who wrote cavil all caps. I have a suggestion our
murder in an air traffic control tower that just happens
to lie next to a mysterious lake. I love you
x xo gossip Girl. Uh, six one, nine or nine?
Are we got you on runway to six one, nine
or nine? Oh? That's Steve cab and Steve we got
(18:57):
you set up on runway to. You have clearance. We
will all suck your butt when you get here safely. Luke, Luke, Yeah, yeah,
there's a dead body over here. Did you not notice this?
I'm trying to land planes. Luke, there's a dead body
under your Why don't you try to land plane and
worry less about dead bodies. Luke, We're gonna have a
whole bunch of dead bodies. Luke. There's no excuse for
(19:18):
dead bodies under the desk. Yeah, there's no excuse for
this sort of insubordination. Land some goddamn planes. I'm going
to call the cops. Fine, you do what you have
to do and let the record show I continued landing
planes seven five to so. So he it is, Oh,
(19:38):
I forgot it. It's not answering my cell phone. I'm
so sorry. This is nine one one. I'm having a day.
I'm sorry. There's a there's I believe a murder has
been committing. Yikes, what do you want me to do? Well,
I'm probably send a squad car. Yeah, I think so.
I'll send a squad car. And can I have your
name in? My name is Richard. Hello, baby. We don't
(20:00):
have milk? Oh ship when you get milk? I got
oat milk. It's in the cupboard. I don't want milk.
It's really good. It's in the cover. I'm not gonna
eat oat milk. Oh, my god, I'm I'm at work
right now. I'm at work, right I'm at work right now. Yeah,
have cereal? Dry or put water on it. Fine, I
will up. Looks like we just got a call. All right,
(20:22):
it looks like a possible murder. You want to want
to dry? You want me? If it's a possible murder,
let's not do it. I don't want to do it.
It's leg murder. I don't don't think that's how it works. Man.
Look from the West coast. Okay, we talk a certain way,
we live a certain way. I'm a cop. I'm a cop. Yeah,
(20:43):
so I talked a certain way like a cop does,
and I live a certain way like a cop does.
I don't. I don't care about the coasts. I really
don't understand why every day I come in here, dude,
and you're like, are you mad at me? Not mad
at you? Man, I'm not pissed madam me, or you're
wildly in love with me, regardless, we have to go
check out this possible Do you give a come? If
I'm in love with you, don't watch for the rest
of my life with you. Okay, you want to drive
(21:03):
over my driving, I'll drive. You need to relax, Luke,
you seem pretty calm. The cops are coming. If you
did something with this body. Oh my God, I'm sorry
you were talking about goats milk. I thought you were
Wait you heard that. Yeah, we have goats milk. We
(21:29):
don't have goats milk. We have oats milk, my goat smoke.
I wanted to know what is the best place. What's
going on? Joe baby? Are you just answering cell phone calls?
Because I hear everything that's going right, I'm on this
(21:50):
phone for you, my cell phone. I have had such
a day. I you know what I took mikel this morning.
I took a bottle of night bottle. They call that
rubot well, is that what I'm doing? Well, if it's robotesting,
but yeah, it was just the same. Hello one is
this number one? Is this ninber one? Is this now?
We're going to hear me and hang up? Yikes, Babe,
(22:12):
I found the goat smell. Oh heyda, I found the
goats so good. Oh, I'm god. No, I would not
drink that slimey. It's just that that's just not the norm.
(22:37):
It's a West Coast. You got a breath. We're here.
We're driving five six two five seventy five six two
five seven. When I got runway four for your copy,
suck my butt, Steve, how did you get back up
in the air so quick? Wait, you haven't commin yet
on a runway to suck my butt? Okay, I appreciate
the imp Hello. Hey, this is Diane. We were talking
(23:01):
earlier from one. Yeah, I'm off the clock now. Oh
I just use our nine one one technology. That's pretty sweet.
Are the cops coming saying about robot tripping? Well? Here,
first of all, did you end up getting a hold
of cops? Because this body started put all that through put?
But what is that? Well? Robots and has a similar
I woke up feeling like I genuinely had a calm.
(23:23):
I thought I took day quilt, but I didn't. Would
have been better all. But then I look, it's been
niquil I took. It would be the same motion sickness pills.
When you overdos, you do have a psychedelic experience. Is
that what's happening? Probably I feel weird. Yeah, so you
want to look at some of my guys for the milk? Yeah,
(23:44):
come straight direct? Yeah, which one is that? What kind
of milk does that give? You're not gonna be able
to handle that milk? There? I think I can handle it. Dude, Well,
we faded a roll and not quill to either. I
want that goat's milk. Let you suckle on the tape.
I don't take it. Hey again, they're all hybrids, were
(24:11):
cross breeding with deeferent What are you cross breeding them with? Kid? Look,
I don't care what they're what, what is in them?
I just want their fucking milk. Man. Alright, alright, we're hearing.
(24:34):
What's this up with your breathing? Listen? Whatever we find
in there, I hear you. I heard you say back
there in a flop sweat. What's going on? Because I've
never been in love before? Dude? Alright, why yeah, I haven't. Hey,
are you guys the cops give us a the door. Listen, well,
(24:56):
I don't want to be inside that room. There's a
dead body. Again, we're not hearing. Didn't stop up if
you were, No, I don't. That's what we're on the
clock of. Not come on, thank you? Oh my gosh.
All right? Can we get to work? Can we get
to work? Can we do our work? Open up? It's
the police. Hold on a second, close that. Do there
(25:19):
any long term effects? I just want to know what
is going on inside there. You want to do some work.
Let's start here. We can't solve a crime if we
can't solve the grime. Huh, you understand. No, I love
you man, I love you Johnson and Peabody. Can I
see you guys in my office. Yes, some complaints out
(25:40):
on the field about YouTube complaints. Yeah, yeah, I kind
of complaints. There's a murderer out at the airport. Yeah,
and uh, you're speaking to murder, speaking to murder, Peabody
here murder the hot dog? Murder? Did you kill that
hot dog? Yeah? Well how'd you kill it? Slice? Slicy
that you see? So, what's up? What's up? That's just
(26:02):
been some complaints that you're look really good, really really good.
This is part of the complaints. Feel people harassed, they
feel people feel harassed by you. Feel inspired? Yeah, exactly.
I'll be leaving the slam poetry on people's voicemails, such as,
um do do U? Tomorrow's not today? Wake up? Wake up?
(26:22):
Wake up? What do I see? What do I see?
Destruction all around me? Why not be the piece that
rises up above the clouds to see the ones that
want to come down? Not gonna happen, Hammer, hammer, hammer,
I am the truth, But wait was that you? Yeah,
I got that message on my machine. Oh yeah, I'm
just doing slamp. Excuse me? Is this is where I
(26:47):
go to if I have information on the recent murder? Yes,
I don't know who takes that. We would do you
mind waiting a second kind of the meal with the captain.
This is exactly what I'm talking about that could lead
to the solving of a crime. Woman you want to
talk about a woman? Wow, that's a woman. Everyone, we
(27:07):
don't identify and just let the person talk. Yes, please
share your How do you know my name? Wild? Guess No,
they've got it on their name on the share. How
can we help you? Look the airplane control towers right
(27:28):
next to a mysterious lake. That's true. You should probably
look into the mysterious leg. Literally, Maddy and Sherman or
whatever you are. What do you guys have to shut up?
We're getting a lead. Am the only officer that deserves
(27:50):
to have all these guns. You're you're saying we should
look into the lake, look into the mysterious leg. What's
your relationship the lake? Share? I live close to the lake.
Thanks shar Thank you, Sharon. Later, um, so you were saying,
like tomorrow tomorrow, tomorrow, today, Yeah, Ham, look in the lake.
(28:16):
I will, I totally will. How did they go? Did
they understand what you said today? Did they look in
the lake? I think so. I don't know if they've
looked in the lake, but I told them to look
into the lake. Why were we cursed with eternal life
and knowledge? It's not ours to ask, but it's our burden.
It is our burden. But I've grown accustomed to the burden.
(28:39):
I can't just to see man die over and over again.
You raised on the wrong star. Man, great, great, we
wished on the wrong star, and that goddamn Jamie has
to come back and remind us and Daddy. Can I
have some breakfast? Please? Yes? I didn't get dinner, so
it's all right. There's a jug of goat milk, and
(29:00):
it's just I Can I get something with it? Yes?
I guess it doesn't matter whether you eat or not.
You're immortal, all right, Let's keep telling you that I'm
a week more. Just have him live a normal life,
very week, as normal as I can. How could it
possibly be? Please? Just put some rice in your hand
(29:20):
and then pour some milk over it. Cooked right, yes,
cooking in the milk doesn't matter. Hey, it's me, Officer Peabody.
What are you doing at my house? I'm here alone,
it's three in the morning. What's going on? Who's at
the door? It's a cop? Oh, the cops are here.
(29:41):
How do you guys know you? Never mind, I'm leaving.
What's going to mind? I'm leaving Peabody. Never mind, I'm leaving.
Bra Were you seeing Peabody? How do you know him?
I love him? That cop partners your partner. How come
I've never seen him before? I talk about him all
(30:01):
the time. Well you don't, I guess. I'm sure that's
him again. Hello, Hey, officer Cheryl. That voice is so familiar.
Who's at the door. It's Carol Cheryl Cheryl Candell. We
worked together at the precinct. You were such a bit.
(30:22):
This guy is always messing with me. He left me
a weird message on my machine. I was coming as
a courtesy call because you got what's his face? Peabody's
seven out there. I was doing my rounds. I see
Peabody in the street seven and I thought, I don't
know who's at the bottom of this nut? That squirrel?
Do I know you? Okay, you've been leaving me slam messages.
(30:45):
Keep your man on a leash. Listen. I don't understand.
Why are you see body? Lady? Am I seeing Peabody again?
What's going on? Something weird going on? No, I'm not
seeing pooks like you're in love with Peabody. No, no, no,
In fact, it seems like my husband's and hiding his
partner and I this is Peabody. Come on here alone.
(31:08):
I'm going to go for Peabody. I'm going to take
a look at the mysterious, Like, what are you guys
doing in the break room? Oh my god, we're prepping
for the case. It's not it's not, dude, We're like
said out it. Yes, I hate you. I'm believing. I
just wanted coffee. I'm out coffee. The bean makes needs
(31:31):
to be seen. Energy energy energy energy energy? What brings
you these close to the lake? Stayed your name and
burbis before you bad share? We should It's the only
place to end it. What you want to end it?
(31:51):
Sick of living forever? League? We want to die? Die?
Should are you? Yes? We're ten thousand years old. We're ready.
I'm sorry I was on here a steak out. I
can't help it over here. What I've gathered your mortals?
Immortals ten thou years old? How are you gonna die?
(32:14):
That's why we're here at the lake. What the lady
of the lake will kill us? Strange? Why wouldn't you
have done this a while ago if it was on
the table. Well, we have a kid, and you know, yeah, yeah, okay,
so we have a five year old? Yeah? You who
joins you to the lake? What is your baby? I
(32:36):
brought my submarine from the station. I was going to
take a look in there for some clues because that
one told me check out the lake. Maybe I don't
know I did. That was a few days ago. A
lot has changed that. My partners convinced me that that
we want to die, and we're going to look into
the lake. So we're gonna look in the lake. There's
(32:59):
a lady of the lake lives there. There was a
genie lady of the lake about this murder. I don't
know who was up in that station tower. I'm trying
to get to the bottom of their that body. It
doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. You'll all die, Luke. I'm
really sorry I called the cops on you. I was
certain that you killed that guy. He was under your
task while I was laying and playing. You thought I
(33:20):
went ahead and killed somebody. No, I still don't know
what the explanation for a dead body under your table is. Right,
So are you satisfied now at the place of investigated? Well,
I don't. It's honest. I have not heard a verdict, right,
So how is it still my problem? It's not. I
just wanted to apologize. It's not awkward. Give me one second. Hello,
I did it again. Oh no, you didn't. I did.
(33:43):
I did it again. And it still feels good. You know,
of course it feels good. But that's like a psychedelic experience,
and it's terrible for your liver. Why didn't you mention
the liver thing earlier? Anything that's going to make you
have that kind of like you're what I call mine
when what I expect expertise, Babe, got cat bit me.
The goat cat bit me. I told you you shouldn't
(34:04):
let that thing in. What were you kidding it? Well, well, well,
if it isn't the pilot that always says that butt
thing when he's in the air, suck suck my ass. Listen,
this is a pilot's locker room. Okay, it's not a
place for games unless you want to get hurt, or
(34:24):
unless you kill me and then throw me underneath underneath
the desk of the tower. Do you know what you want?
I want you to kill me. Hey, I want you
to kill all right, suck my ass. Well that's a
(34:49):
pretty incriminating black box recording. Sohow that's the conclusion of
Shane two. I don't see comes from? Hey, you guys, anyway,
I could stop doing the podcast. If you're reading this
(35:12):
on the air, sorry for the awkwardness. My scene suggestion
is that a comic con um and you're all C
plus level celebrities trying to sell your ship loves Joey.
That's so weird. And uh oh, I was listen. I
(35:34):
was wondering if you'd like to purchase this. It's showing
me this well. I waited a long time in line,
and I figured you'd want one. This marker is permanent
and it's easy to sign anything you want in my
signatures on it. So it's a photo of you know,
he's selling the marker. I'm selling the marker. I just
have this photo to show how well it works. Are
(35:57):
you together? Okay? We're together. I'm a fan. What's this like?
What's your name? What's your name? Okay, I'm gonna sign
it the goddamn it. That's my head shot. But the
head shot, man, look at this. I don't want this
head shot. This is a view I want. Look at
this marker. It's a normal marker. I'm a big fan
(36:17):
of I'm right here their second day. I feel like
you're here with me more do you want? I feel
like you want them. I'm a big fan. If he
wanted something to happen, he could close the deal. But
I'm with you. I bet you'd feel the same about
if Jessica Rabbit was a real persure here? Yeah, maybe
are you getting something? Because I'm waiting? I want this
(36:38):
guy trying to sell up. Look, let's just all get this. Look. Look,
do you do you want to have consensual sex? I
loved it? All right, then let's do that. And who
else wants a head shot signed? I do? Okay? Great?
You know what it's actually if everyone could just throw
twenty dollars at me and here we go, ready on
the couch, do it? Okay, here we go? Alright, right
a second, we're standing in line. Why are we throwing money.
(36:59):
I'm about with a fan and I this is exciting
for me. Okay to watch? Yeah, hold on, hold wait,
wait before the stores are aligned. Well there we go. Great,
all right, let's let's do this. Wait. Are you not
excited about it? No, I'm excited. I just I'm not
(37:20):
excited about it. You're not like your character was. Yeah,
Mr Travolto, the line has been waiting for a couple
of hours. Now, thank you for for arriving somewhat on time.
We've got your table set up here to do some
set up, right, So you've got your table set up
and people are very excited. It's your first con. I've
(37:42):
never done a con before, is what I'm saying. So people, basically,
people step up. They want to tell you the life story,
and I'll help to try to slow that downing. Gotta
keep it moving, is what we're going for. So as
many of these posters as possible. It's a hundred bucks
to throw. They're gonna ask for selfies. Those are an
extra forty dollars. You'll let me know as a breach
bird um, which means my feet came out. No, I
(38:04):
know what that means. So my mother was really traumatized
by the whole thing, and I think I was would
be too. Isn't your job to keep this line moving
to protect Mr Travolta. Take me to a chiropactor as
an infant who suffer and I was never going to
get over because we carry around that trauma with exactly.
(38:25):
Come with me, come with sorry, I'll be Let's pick
this up. Put your head down. Mr. Come on, let's
make the crowd. Let's go. Come on, lets get There's
a lot of people and I'm looking to see you.
I'm gonna make sure that no one does. You're gonna
be protected, Okay, I don't want anyone to interact with you.
You're safe, You're safe, all right. Come on, let's get
him in the car. Wait, hold on that that backfired, Tom,
Thanks for coming in. Listen. We just had a couple
(38:47):
of complaints. I love my job, I love and foremost
from Mr Travolta's people. They wanted to know that why
after he finally agreed to do a com he was
there for about forty one second. I'll tell you. I'll
tell you what happened. I am My job is to
protect and if Intertrivolta is under a situation with a
lot of people that I don't know who they are,
haven't been able to pat down, and I'm not sure
(39:08):
if they're blood to see if through or not. You've
been working. They can imagine I've been here for about
two days. Excuse me, sir, you're under arrest. I knew
this was gonna come, sir. Thank you so much for
employment for as long as you did. I'm ready to go. Okay, great,
you want to hear the charges? Are you just good
to go? If you can, I tell you what I
think they are. Let's do that. I think it's involuntary,
(39:32):
voluntary and ex voluntary manslaughter. I believe it. There was
in charge if I'm a hundred percent bank robbery of
a minor and uh also grand theft trotto, I didn't
have that one. Interesting. Also kidnapping. Mhmm, let's go. Hey,
(39:53):
I can I get a large cut please? Man? This
place is packed here. Thanks. You know. I was actually
in The Walking Dead. Oh you know what I'm saying. Yeah,
it's not a big deal, but I played a zombie
and episode three of the first season and I and
I came back. I have never been in love me. Yeah,
(40:16):
I don't know I'm helping him. I just was giving
my heads up about my you know, screen experience. This
guy is in The Walking Dead a couple episodes. I'm
on a second date today. Oh, I thought you were
approaching me about love us. Well, I just want to
know your advice. I mean, like, I don't know. I
feel like I don't really fit in this place. Always
(40:37):
this place. Nobody here fits in. Oh that's good to know. Yeah,
this place sucks. Thank thank you. So I'm seeing this
girl dead right, go on, I'm sorry. That's seven dollar coke.
I know it's expensive. Go on, seven dollars. Oh don't
give me ship. Please. You see this place, let me
try to up sell it to a meal. Kirk, you
(40:59):
know what it's not. It's expensive when you bundle it
with a burger. But tell me about Linda was all right,
give me the burger four dollars total. That's a great deal.
But soda seven in the burger, so you said, went
down in price. So how much is the burger? Usually
alone is fourteen dollars? So you're basically getting a coke
(41:19):
from saving seven dollars. Oh, it's just for burger. And
did you just make money on that alright, guys, guys,
everybody ever. Oh hi, I'm sorry, Yeah, come all over
(41:40):
your mouth. Oh no, that's not coming. Um, it's a
funny story. I'm so sorry. I melted some clear gummy
bears in the Marca and yeah, I just want to
say I'm sorry. I couldn't get don't wish that we
don't have to talk about it. I'm sorry, talk about it. Thanks,
I'm glad you're friend of the show. I just wanted
(42:02):
to say, Dad, I hope that was worth it, and
I'm happy that you're happy. So I got you this
burger and I'm gonna I'm gonna take off because no, no, no,
let's stay together. But you you met him, and I
feel like that's probably like the guy you want to
be with. We did not hit it off. What do
you mean it wasn't good for either of us. We
(42:22):
did not hit it off. It wasn't fun. He put
gummy bears in the microwave and he smashed my face
into them while he cried, I want to recreate the sensation.
I'm not. I can't. I can't imappulate. You can immappulate
he means ejaculate. He tried to force my face into
(42:44):
melted gummy bears to give me a sensation. I'm not
even I wasn't interested in in the first I didn't
want That's not what the fun part is for me.
Just so you know, we and most women are looking
forward to that part. You know, you're nothing like your character.
I know that dad. His character was a gentleman. Okay,
(43:07):
his character, his character on this show. No, what was
more zenorous than his character? Oh? My, his character, doctor
Elliott velveteen Steve. I really feel like I should be
(43:29):
signing stuff out there. I feel like I'm kind of
more a celebrity than just an employee to fill orders
coax running out you want to refill the coke. I
just I feel like this is okay, I just got it.
It's just shooting out soda water. We need syrup, all right,
I'm putting the syrup underneath here, all right. It's just
sometimes I feel like you're wasting my talents, Like I
(43:49):
could probably get a lot of people to come here
trying to get autographs. That's what I call them. When
it's when i'm because I'll put my own makeup drawing
on there. Well, well, no, no, that's a good ideally, beautiful.
Oh that's latte art. It's a leaf. Oh my god,
you shouldn't be here, thank you? Could you tell could
you tell my boss that he should be over at
(44:10):
the coffee bean? Oh no, no, no, I want to
I'm an artist, artist, like an actual artist like you
might not recognize that. We don't do the leaf art.
That's just something he does. Yeah. Uh, you probably don't
recognize me. Well, I'm in the episode three of the
Walking Dead. I played the zombie that Oh everybody plays
(44:30):
zombies on that show. Not everybody know every weirdo that
I know. I'm not a weirdo. Larry, Hi, Hey, thanks
for coming into read for Dr velveteen. Um, I want
to start a page three? Can I give you a
little heads up? I actually I just prefer to jump
right and if you don't mind, okay, but I don't
(44:51):
know if you heard me. I prefer to just jump
right in. Okay, I did. I did a lot of
people reading that. One word is map be late. So
if you just want to yeah, ready, when you are
the cameras rolling, Dr Grace, I found some of the
(45:11):
horilium crystals. Can I just stop it first? Um, that's
an escafe crystal escafe Nescafe, escafe B pencil. I don't
care an escafe. Go again when you're ready. Dr Grace,
(45:32):
I saw some of the horilium crystals. Why did I
say that again yet? N's Cafe. Okay, you're a trauma surgeon. Yes,
Dr Grace, I found some of the ness Cafe crystals.
(45:54):
So you got the job based on that audition. And
to everyone all the actors here tonight that are wondering
how how to make it in the industry, I'll tell
you right now. You just do it. Okay, But back
to no. This is my book signing, sir, and you
just stood up and started taking over this. Okay, okay,
(46:22):
all right? You know why don't we do this? Why
don't we just have everyone up? And then this is
a Barnes and Noble. You guys came here to Glendell
to sign my book. They wanted to come to sign
your book. I'm just getting confused because you know season
two when the christianing army came through and they were
(46:43):
with the finger into my chest, well, then you need
to listen up. They had all the armaments that you
can imagine, and they had access to the Scifian uh,
liquid can time travel individuals back to the first doing this?
Uh yeah, let me just take my shoes up a
should you mind if I? Well? Thank god, there's a
(47:05):
Starbucks in this Barnes and Noble. Can I get a
chi latte? Sure? Do you want it with? You know what?
Let me just make it the way I like it. Hey,
do I do I know you from something? Do you
I recognize you? Do you? Yes? You still be a
seven dollar coke at Comic Con last week? Yeah? Yeah,
I sometimes they have us cater events and we were
(47:26):
doing our Starbucks thing at the comic Con. I never
forget paying that much for coke. Yeah, I thought you
recognized me from my show, which show Walking? And now
I didn't watch that show. Well it's a pretty big, yeah,
I've heard of it. Oh, of course you have. It's big. Yeah.
(47:47):
I was a third episode. Okay, though I come out
behind the bookshelf. Actually in the fourth season, I come
back a totally different character. Uh, this one I was good.
I couldn't help that. No, Oh, absolutely, you must be good. Yeah.
I was about to tell a story about the fourth
(48:08):
season love. Hey, welcome to casting. So one of our
associates was at the Starbucks recently, Linda. You might remember
speaking to her, Linda, Yeah, phone, that would be crazy
if I knew that. Yeah, she said you had the goods.
Now I have a big project and I'm looking for
(48:29):
a leading man. You're kidding we're bringing back Dr Velveteen
that that show? Was it popular enough to bring back? Huh? Okay? Alright, alright,
well I'm not I'm not picky for roles. Sure, well
you should be. And here are the sides. Okay, if
you have any questions, let me know. No, I think
I can just okay that that does say nest cafe.
(48:52):
What does the word that looks like? It doesn't say that.
It's as mapulous, So we're changing that to nest cafe
straight just spelling. Okay, sandwich, thank you so much, you know,
to get back from me and then shove it up
your ass. Okay, this really is show business. This is
show business, and I'm looking for my doctor velveteen. Unless somebody, yeah,
(49:16):
unless somebody kicks down that door and the old Velveteen
comes in here and demands his job back, it's pretty
much gonna be yours, my man. Here we go. Okay.
I'm really excited to work with you. Wow, Mr Travolta,
I didn't expect to get cast in such a popular
show with such a popular actor. That's all right, you
know you're here on set, so all equals? Are we
(49:37):
all equals? Do you have any tips for somebody that's
trying to stand out but not look like I'm trying
to stand out and say I'm fast? Oh shit, sayd fast?
Hey can I get a mapulous action? Uh? And that's
why I want to be taken onto the thing? And
that I've noticed that there was the hut. I'm sorry?
(50:00):
Was that too slow? You're you're you're holding your scripts.
So here's the problem. Even if it's really sir, this
is this is a close set. I'm Mr Velveteen, this
is I'm Mr. He just got through. I don't know.
He just not throw Dr Grace. I see that you
(50:21):
found the Hormilion crystals. You can't take this from me.
I worked hard for I'm the velveteen doctor. No you're
a hack. No, you're a hack. You lost the job
because you didn't take commitment. And we're going close on
John Volta. Wait, wait, you aren't even looking at us
right now. Look, let's look at the cameras. Are all
(50:43):
pointing it. His face gets bigger, but I don't mind.
Do you know he was kidnapped last week? That's so
weird at that that that that welcome back to Enter
Damon tonight, we have a clip exclusively from the set
of Dr velveteen Their brain back that old class like
a lot of people watch put your shirt. Oh no,
(51:06):
let's go to that clip now. I'm I'm Mr Palbert.
You're gonna be Mr Velvet Team when you get you
gonna put this right in your mom Wow. That was
a crazy clip, like it was the audio of two
known names screaming and a close up of John Travolta's
smiling evily into the camera. I think that's why you
(51:30):
gotta watch entertainment tonight when it goes out live. Seriously,
that's when you get the scalpel. Okay, what's meme culture?
I just noticed that people screaming about Okay, just like
(51:51):
it's like the weirder, the better, the more you thank you.
I'm sorry, open fire over here quick, Dr. You're wearing
no clothes. Okay, well then let's get on here we go, Yes, yes,
(52:15):
And our final scene was sent it again by Joey
Graham that's it for today. Let's thank our alchemist Joey.
You're welcome. Yeah, thank you so much for being here, buddy.
Um outside their house, outside their house, Yes, that's usually
lurking at jeby Grieber on Instagram. If you want to
(52:35):
keep in viral, If you want to keep in viral, yeah,
alright cool, Chris Avarado. Um, you can find me outside
your house. Stand that's right to be back here we go,
love you guys. How many ones? James Heeney. Well, I'm
gonna not be outside of your house. I'm not a
creeper like that, but I'll be inside. I'll be inside
your house, under your bed. Okay, Coolgowski. I'm doing an
(53:01):
episode of Dr velveteen. It's it's an inside Scientology. We
have production, so you're going to see it inside their house. Great. Um,
not invited to do anything, so no, but it's cool.
It is cool. It's so cool. Joda Dynasty. Typewriters, Joda Dynasty.
(53:26):
I like the boys, say Juda Dynasty. Let's thank our
engineer Doug Baine, our post on design artist Raphael Brito,
And I heard media we're losing him. Who cares? I
encourage all of you to write a review. Please tell
everyone you've ever met and write to us at your
name here at alchemy this dot com. I'm your host,
(53:47):
Kevin and Poll. I love you so very much. No no,
no you until next time. And a football pepper and
(54:19):
a full
Alchemy This News
Host
Kevin Pollak
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