Several assassins aboard a blimp, all unknowingly after the same target, but can ANY make the hit… As students wait to audition, some are supportive of each other, and a few get a real chance to change their lives… Greeting one annoyingly difficult animal owner after another is one man’s life, and that man’s name is “The Hean…”
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Everybody, it's your crew from Alchemy. There. We have something
special to say, right, Yeah, tonight's big show. Yeah, because
we have a show, so it's show day. So we're
all in that kind of headspace. We're all juice right now. Yeah, Craig,
wan't you give him all the info? Tuesday seven, it's
(00:20):
today tonight Today in Los Angeles, Dynasty Typewriter. We're doing
a live show. So just come do it. We'll see
you soon. In perfect am. Welcome back to the episode
of Alchemy. This. I'm your host, Kevin Poll guest that Kevin, Yeah, yeah,
I am. If you don't mind, Okay, no, no, you
(00:42):
don't worry about it then, but I digress. I'm so
very happy to welcome you to yet another episode of Alchemy. There,
let's meet today's Alchemy. Shall we know particular order? Say,
look at Chris Alvarado. Switch Chris. When it comes to
ice cream flavors, chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry, share your fun,
Mary kill please chocolate, vanilla, strawberry. Um, I would marry strawberry.
(01:09):
I don't want to play this game. Well done, old man,
Well done. Howdy Host Joey Greer Greer, Mr President, please
go away. What would Jesus do if he met Santa Claus?
Probably make a wish? Oh nice, James Heeney with a
name like Hey, it's gotta be good. Do you think
(01:29):
anyone suspects you once killed a man for asking too
many questions? I am counting on them knowing I'm the
kind of guy that would kill someone that asks too
many questions. To put that out there, I mean, if
they haven't picked up on it, it's gonna catch soon.
They know that now, Vanessa ragling everybody, When your son
eventually shares that he wants to hurt Joey Greer, what
(01:50):
you're gonna say? Say, don't hurt him? Smart and us,
but madd on your face, your big disgrace singing we
will we will rock you. If you think him least
it's Greig Cocao. Do you believe in magic? Buck strawberry
(02:13):
Mary chocolate? Alright, let's get to our first team shower
all today's scene suggested Uh we're from gathered from listeners emails.
If you'd like to submit your scene suggestions, please write
to the podcast at your name here at alchemy this
dot com. That's your name here at alchemy this dot
com Our first team comes from Josh, who wrote, oh boy,
(02:36):
I have just recently started listening to Right to the
Alchemy be Friends. Alchemy doesn't like me. Oh he's playing
with our or as known in social circles, it's not fair.
Alchemy always gets the girls. The podcast has caused embarrassment
on multiple occasions. I try to turn my laughter into
(02:57):
pretend coughing to say public, save face in public, just
throwing it out an idea here hired assassins in a
blimp unknowingly after the same darket. Thanks as always, Josh,
just me, pardon me? Can I just get through this? Arenas?
Of course? Thank you? Take beautiful day out here. Thank you,
(03:18):
tecuts here you go, thank you ticket. I don't have
my tickets. Teakots. I don't have my tickets. Did you
put them somewhere? Yeah? My mom's not you two needs
a milk? Do you work here or you take it?
Just says oh, we're okay, here you tea kids? Sure,
(03:42):
here you go kids tea kids tickets. I gave you
a ticket just a minute ago. Okay, I don't have
a second ticket. You took mine second ticket. I bought
one ticket and I don't have another one. Excuse me,
is there a restaurant on the glim I'm becoming around
of food in a bit. Oh you are the restaurant tickets. Well,
(04:08):
the service is really going downhill in these blimps, haven't they.
I have a dad. I'm sorry, I have a dad.
She was making conversation. The service has gone down. I
remember when used to be riding a blimp felt like
I don't know, I was the queen of Shiva. Used
to be the height of elegant. It used to be
the height of elegance. That's right. They used to have
real silverware. Navy seal. My dad's a Navy seal. Where
(04:34):
where are you when this Brett young Man hit it? Well?
New York, New York. We're just out to see some
sites today. Ultimately new York. Where are you added? Well,
I'm going to stop in New York, but then head
on to Boston. Oh just during the full looks like
(04:55):
a real rules. It's a real roller. I can tell
the difference. I love your tweet jacket. Please forgive Eddie.
Do you want to feel it? I would love to. Oh,
just like I imagine little bumps. That's right. Look a cloud?
Oh food? Oh yes, food. I'll have food. I'll take
(05:20):
I'll take the ruffles. I guess ticket. Yeah, I showed
you my ticket. Do you have a ticket for food tickets?
Is it extra for food? Where do we get? Where
do we get food tickets? You should have got them
at the ticket booth at the ground level. Can I
purchase some here? Okay? I'll have how many tickets with
(05:42):
the pringles? Have to go get the food tickets? Blamp
travel has gone downhill? Somebody say, dirgeible, it's such a
great data fly and it beautiful day of courtious? Where
are you folks from Navy seals? My dad as a
Navy seal? Is your dad a Navy seal? Oh that's great.
When's the last time you saw him? And I haven't
(06:03):
met him yet. Right, he's been on a mission. Oh boy,
it's gotta be tough on the too. You we're doing
just fine, thank you very much. Here. I was happy
to be a single mother. We're not missing anything in
our life. Everything's fine. You're not saying we're not. She's
not a single mother. My dad's on a mission, right,
he's been on a mission for seventeen years. And when
he does come home to the two of you. Where
(06:24):
would that be? Oh uh, you want to know where
we live? I didn't an address, Just curious what four
three zero three venturable of our los ANGELETTI yes, all
the way from coast to coast on this plank. No,
that's why I said. Ultimately we are going to go
to New York. We're just sight seeing today. Okay, yeah,
(06:45):
listen up. So it's look, it's pretty simple and here. Okay,
you just pretty much just gotta make sure the pedals
are moving, and then the blimp will take care of yourself.
Believe that I've got a pedal. This thing take such
your cake technology. It's a blimp. Man, What you want?
I don't know. I just thought I'm not in shape.
I can't probably keep pedaling. Get in shape by peddling. Man,
(07:07):
all right, this is harder than I thought it was.
The top part of my body is about two fifty pounds.
The bottom half of my body looks like a pro cyclist.
All right, It's just how it is. Geez. It sounded
like a much better job before I got up here. Jesus, man,
what do you want? I don't know. I thought maybe
it be easy. The blimp is just kind of floating.
How many jobs can I get you? And then you
(07:27):
just want to just quit while you're in the middle.
Just it's just this is hard work I'm looking for.
Like you know, guys, man, I can't get easier than this.
You can't too. I don't want pedal. Isn't there like no? No,
like an automatic? Come on, there's an automatic and ever there? Yeah,
there's not a magic. I mean they don't want us
to use it. They want us to pedal. Man, come
(07:48):
on and let me use to you at Ao Manning.
I'm tired. I'll get into shape later. You promise you're
gonna get into shape. I'm gonna be a pedal half
the time, and half the time I'll do on man alright,
because there was there was a whole Blimpenberg disaster and
just the whole thing ted. Man, you can trust me.
I don't I appreciate you hooking me up this JUHNP
(08:09):
captain doing anything up here? An get drink? Can we
get a couple of bourbon? Bourbon? What that's that dangerous?
On that three? But y'all are flying this thing. I
know we're gonna flip it on. Okay, I have to
admit it's a little traumatic for me to be on
(08:30):
this flight. My late wife was on the Blimpenberg. Oh no,
you're a widower the Bloomberg. What a tragedy. It was terrible.
Y Oh the humanity. Indeed, you're very brave to face
your fears like this. Is that a real scope you
have hang out of your jacket mouthwash? Oh? Yes, uh,
(08:54):
this this rifle scope, that's what you're referring to. Yeah?
That tickets? Yes? Yes? Can I just buy the food directly?
Food ticket first? To meet a ticket food ticket? Are
you selling the food tickets? Yes, I'll have enough food
tickets to buy pringles and what do you want Eddie
(09:15):
sour patch kids and um whatever, this gentleman, that's very
kind of you. Anyone, I'll take ruffles and uh, I'll
take it outrageous. Okay, that's gonna be fun. Can I
just give you a twenty and assume it's even because no?
(09:42):
Can I ask you? Is this a manual pedal blimp? Yeah?
This is a traditional pump, but it has GPS and
everything else. It's just the blimp itself was built nineteen
and then it's an updated over the past. How did
you get this job? Can I just ask what everyone's thinking.
How did you get this job? I applied right, and
(10:05):
then what happened? Was there some sort of interview process
where they saw your demeanor and your work ethic calmed down?
We didn't know each other before, we just met. Don't
want this to affect the food. I've been watching this
whole These people are hungry. You're trying to sell them here.
Oh my god, it's another winer. Listen to Are you
(10:26):
two brothers? Are you related? You must be. No one
wants tickets, they want food. This gentleman would like some
ruffles sour patch over here, pringles and take the woman's money.
Let's have it. Take to twenties. Is there a supervisor
we can talk to? Seces? Are you? Are you hard
(10:48):
of hearing? Why do you ask? Kid? Because you have
an earpiece in your ear? Is that a hearing aid? Yes,
that's right, my U. After my wife was killed in
the Blombenberg, I yelled so loud, I shuttered my left
and a little harder hearing. I got the food situation
(11:08):
sorted out, and I found some lifesavers in my purse.
So here he goes. Are you guys having some fun?
I'll take my nutrageous. Thank you, Michael. It was yes,
not Michael. Michael, got it, Eddie. My dad has at
(11:29):
least a hundred forty three confirmed kills. Don't twist my arm.
You haven't even met him. We don't know what he was.
I know he has a hunter confirmed better. Now should
be easy to get a clear shot on this blimp.
I mean a clear shot, you know, out the window
and look at the sky. I have a little PTSD
(11:51):
M my husband Navy seal. You know, I've been through
a lot and then through a lot of intense situations,
and I'm ready to just glide on a blimp. I'm
gonna go. Okay, you can just make as you think
that stewardess likes me. She was, she was smiling. You're
talking about workplace harassment, man, that's nuts. No, Ted, I
(12:12):
think she was. She was talking about the bourbondh it's dangerous.
She winked me selling. Oh shit, I'm a shot. Oh
my god, oh my god, oh my chest ketches. Take
(12:38):
it up, automatic, kept take it up. Okay, Okay, okay,
ladies and gentleman, we're gonna be a little bit bumby
or I hate hearing his voice. Everyone's gonna have to
(12:59):
put on their seatbelts. His voice is almost calmbing. But yeah,
he put the other one first. This is fine. What's
going on? Um, there is a problem with what you
just draw a picture here? Did I see the blimp?
(13:22):
You have a very skilled hand. Why is that man
of red in his chest? Red in his chest? Red
in his chest? What could that be? Then? Something? Oh,
you're just scratching his face, scratching up. Oh, you can't
wake the pilot. Trying to wake the pilot. Wait, the
(13:44):
pilot is asleep. Who's flying the blimp? Michael? Come down?
I'm sorry. You think should be fine? You just take
your seats. Why don't you even get a pilot ticket? Huh? Seefing?
Run around the blimp and see if anyone's a pilot
comes down. I should have done better to get a
(14:07):
ticket for the Blimpenberg too. Where's the burbon? Who's got
the bourbon? Somebody come up here. It looks like one
of us has had two menutes. Come up here. Get
him out of the seats down next to me. What's happening?
His chest exploded? Just what happened? Lord? The helicopter? Good Lord,
(14:32):
I'm get as low as I can. Man, my son's
in there. Flip. Come on, you know that kid's not
in there. It's my son. I know it's I'm gonna
kill every motherfucker in there. Goddamn it. We're clear after this, Okay,
no more favors. You old me this one. I don't know, man.
All of a sudden, the hole disappeared in the windshield,
and then a whole bunch of the ticket boys just
(14:55):
drew me a picture and they had slighting. He's been
shutting the chest. Oh my god. Sorry, she came up
here quickly. Don't apologize about me. We have to fix this.
Do you know what you're doing? No, I can't pedal
that fast. We need take spin class. Move the body
(15:17):
with me. I'm sitting in I'm sitting in blood. Fine,
it's fine. Tower to blamp, Tower to blamp. We see
you very off course. You know what, Maybe you should
answer and people here, Hello, this is the blimp. I'm
a lady that was on the blimp. My name is Melinda.
I don't know what I'm doing, but there was a
(15:37):
dead man and I'm trying to pedal. Melinda, are the
pedals in front of you? The pedals are under my feet.
I have the pedals in petal position. How big are
your feet? My size seven and a half in men's No,
that's women's and men's. Oh, I don't know what that is?
At three at three, at three, Well, it's a beautiful
(15:59):
day at Dodgers Stadium as the Dodgers take on the
San Diego Padres. And oh, what's this? We have a
visitor in the sky, the beautiful Blippenberg too, flying over
the stadium. And oh, looks like a playing full of
Navy seals is trying to board it. Oh, get closer,
kick closer, can man, you owe me this one? No
(16:23):
more favors? Man? Oh shit, I got eyes on somebody.
It looks like Michale's in there. What the hell? The
assassin mckel the assass says Chris das Como. Can ask
you a favorite one more? All right? Get me close
enough so I can board this. But it's really close
to be able to get out of there. I'm I'm
(16:43):
terribly sorry. By the way, don't apologize. I'm terribly sorry
that I have to take your son. I can't stop peddling.
Let me, I'm thecale of the spy. Oh no, I've
heard about you wiggle away. It's not working. Oh my god,
(17:06):
are you a nave seal, a naval sailing? Oh my god,
you just came bloom. I can't control that. I owe
you one now to make my way to the back
of this blame business. I'm sorry, hold on, you can't
(17:28):
hold on. You you need a ticket, alright, I got cash.
I'm sorry. You're gonna have to get the ticket. You're
gonna have michail. Oh wow, look away, have here? I
got afraid, nutrageous out of your wife. Let go of
(17:52):
my son. He's hooked up to my fake rollands. I
knew you'd come back. I knew you'd come back. I
love you, boy. I've been waiting seventeen years to hear that.
You don't have to wait a day longer, like father? Like?
So is it true you have a hundred forty three
(18:14):
kills making a hundred forty six? What wait? I love
you boy. Where's your mom? He's gonna kill you three?
I don't know. I think she's flying the blimp. She would. Well,
(18:35):
we got a real bond burter. Here is the padres
take a one nothing leading to the thing father and
son that here at the ballpark. Oh, the blimbers itself.
Looks like the Blimberg two is catching on fire. All
the humanity going down like a led Zeppelin. Oh man,
(18:58):
that got dark, and thank you for killing those two
winey motherfuckers. I thank that voices alone. Oh Man for snappers,
They got snappers. Gabe from Toronto. I recently got into alchemy.
This that's absolutely delight listened to in between classes. I
(19:20):
especially love the public library scene because I work in one.
The other day, in fact, I saw an old man
watching pornography during my shift and thought of you guys.
That actually happens. I studied theater at York University and
I would absolutely love to hear a bit about you
guys getting ready for auditions as student actors. I hope
(19:41):
you guys are having a great day. Gabe from Toronto. Okay, students, students,
we are going to be opening the doors in minutes.
Should we be in a single file now, we'll call
the names as they are written on the list. Just
(20:03):
see Tight and then him. Okay, So enjoy, have fun,
and remember you do this for the love of the theater,
not because you want to be famous make money. It
is for the love of the theater. How many rules
are being cast today? None? I love the theater? How many?
(20:27):
How many rules are being kist Answers will be questioned
in the room. Excuse me? What is our time? Down?
To you now? Still twenty minutes? Thank you, thank thank
thank you. What are you guys doing for your too
contrasting monologue? Okay, we're not. We don't have to share
that information with you. You don't have to share it,
but I'm happy to share mine. Why, Okay, how do
you I'll find I'll go first, go ahead, I'm doing
(20:50):
um Suburbia Bible goes in, followed by a monologue so
predictable for classic I'm doing shy Walk from Merchant of
Venice from I'm doing Teach from American Buffalo, also obvious.
I'm doing two original pieces I did ye? Are they contrasting?
They are contrasting. One is super sad and one is absurd.
(21:17):
It's sort of moment? Are they both emotional? Extremely? Yeah,
you're going to get this, Miranda, Oh my gosh, No,
you're gonna get this. I'm gonna do uh, I'm gonna
do a thing for my classical piece. I'll probably do
some early you have to know already early de Niro
or something. You're like a grad student, right are you?
(21:40):
I'm undergrad? H So you have prepared your monologue. You
probably should just wait for the next round of auditions.
He's super serious about preparation. Yeah. Well, I mean we
all have our process, you know. Whoops, Oh, not a
big deal. Sorry, it's got an email on my phone.
So it's from backstage and they want to do a
Q and A with me someone backstage. It's a periodical
(22:05):
Oh so once in a while I try. I don't
even bring my phone to auditions. I just want to
be I usually don't either, but I was waiting for
this important What's the Q and A about dropping out
of college theater programs? Yeah? I love theater. Is that
really what it's about? Is it? Yeah? If you dropped
out that, how are you a today? You can't. This
(22:27):
doesn't make or break for me. Most people know it.
I had that explosion during um the other play we
did you poop your pants? Just say it? Okay? Oh
your ship pants boy? Yeah. During the Pirates of pen Dance,
I had parents. I mean they say, you know all good,
(22:53):
all you know what they say that? What's the saying? So? Well,
the point is I made national news, so I went viral?
He did, I went viral hel and so now they're
going to question me about it. And if I make
this play, I'm back in the school. Tasson has his
own YouTube channel and it gets more views than most
model like but YouTube YouTube is like a lower lower
class of entertainment. But Tasson is doing good work on
(23:16):
their Chris O'Donnell, Chris O'Donnell. Please, that's me, come in please, Hey,
you'll be called Kay, thank you. That's my stage name,
by the way, right, Chris please whenever you already. It's
not my real name. I just stage name. I understand.
(23:37):
So if I do get cast, we just have to
reconcile that with my student records. I just wanted a
sort of like more asexual name. That's fine, whatever name.
We don't. But I just realized when you said it.
When whenever you're ready, which would you like? First? I
have prepared two original pieces. Would you like my more
classical one or my more absurd modern want? Let's do
(24:01):
something from man begins? Oh um, I don't have a
piece from Batman begain, just do it from memory? Um? Okay, absolutely,
Professor Um Poison Ivy, get out of um. The jokers
(24:24):
at it again. Oh man, he's driving me so crazy
lately with um um Batman, Batman, damn you. I loved you, Batman.
I loved you so goddamn much. She's doing great in there,
(24:45):
she's doing great. And yet there you are in your
cave again with your bats. And here I am, all
dressed up on a rooftop in the middle of Gotham
City alone. Oh Batman, I wish you would show up. God,
(25:08):
she's crying. She's so real, she can cry. Chris O'Donnell
was the best actor in the hold. I wouldn't say that.
I'd say she's good. I can cry anytime I try.
I'm really good. I just pinched myself really hard in
my pocket. Looks like I'm gonna have to take this
matter in my own hands. I'm gonna have to save
Gotham myself, and I'm going to have to put on
(25:29):
a costume to do it. But more than that, I'm
going to have to be vulnerable and strong and Donald,
if I can stop you just for a moment, please
on the back. I notice under your special skills says
horseback riding correct and accents where you study mine. I
studied mime at the Mime Institute of Chicago, Nick. I
(25:52):
was there for three months. Three of those amazing life
changing months. I met so many amazing people. I got
to work with some real luminaries. Did you work I
did not work with John, but I actually worked with
his apprentice mar that's correct. Yes, we had an affair.
And which accents can just as accents, I can do
(26:15):
all of them at once. Please give me a phrase.
Come inside of there's fruits for everyone they have, but
none of the children. If you wanted to have more
com inside the frying frame, and maybe you won't have
the children. And she's doing all over accents, It doesn't matter.
(26:38):
You know what, um You ever heard of the words
black box experimental theater. Yeah, well that's where I think
I'm going. So there's no accents needed, there's no singing needed,
there's no crying. I did a two month run where
a homeless woman would take a dump on my chest
and then I have a children as acquired cry in
the background. Long story short found out that that wasn't
(26:59):
actually you play. It was just so. It was just
a squatting camp that happened to stumble upon man war
and you have done some living Yeah? Yeah? Is that
guerrilla theater? I'm not sure what it was called? What
I remember? We used to be a taco bail. Have
you've written any of this down? These are amazing starts?
(27:20):
Oh no, those are just my life. Wait? Is this
your monologue that you're going to go in there? Are
you auditioning passing it off its conversation? Oh? No? Are you?
That is so not cool? Are you also auditioning? Yes? Oh?
I just I thought I saw you walking there earlier,
but I guess I've just been watching and waiting. Okay,
I don't want any problems with anybody here. Remember we
were here because it's about Swinton killed us. Swinton, thank
(27:45):
you again for seeing me. It was an honor. That
was awesome. It was awesome. What happened? You're like, no, not, you'relowing. Honestly,
this Winton is mees please coming inside? Thank you? I
love you fantastic. What do you have prepare? If you'll
(28:07):
prick us? Do we not blade? Fucking Ruthie fucking Ruthie,
fucking Ruthie, fucking Ruthie, fucking Ruthie, fucking Ruthie. When have
you already that was it. It certainly was Shylock for
(28:29):
the Merchant of Venice were painfully aware both pieces. At
this point, can you tell me about your special skills? Yes,
I have none. On there you have? They just have
escape room. That's all you've written down. I design escape rooms,
you do so you could if we needed someone like
set designing. Uh, if you were to make the show
(28:51):
as a crew member and be in the show. No,
they can't have them. I don't think both. We don't
want someone behind the scene in the scene, right. Look,
if I don't get cast, I'm I want to be
involved in some way in any way. Yes, I'll design
the sets. Give me a couple of bars of if
I had a hammer, a couple of bars um, if
(29:16):
I had a hammer in the morning, he's killing evening.
Thank you very much. I'm I'm a baritone. You certainly
are all right. Well listen, if you'd wait in the
outer room, I think we'll think we'll be able. We'll
want to see you again. A hammer. They pent me
(29:43):
into it. But I sing that song all the time.
That wasn't that great. It was okay. You didn't go flat,
you didn't go sharp, You hit the notes you're mean.
I'm not mean. It's just tough when you're competing and
you have to here the person. We're not competing against
each other, that's true. Are you kidding? No, it's true.
(30:04):
Joking yourself. Do you think we're all going to get cast?
Haven't you listened to his last lecture? I listened to it,
But I feel like he was trying to anybody who
wasn't going for the gold. He was trying to send
home play be supportive of each other. Than what is
the matter with you? Are you? You're you're auditioning. You're
not in the room waiting to get into the room. Okay,
(30:25):
So like you like ask for special skills, you guys
know they're basic, the basic A lot of the audition
and his special skills and not very much. That's me.
I mean one, I'm just riding him, just finishing up
to my special skills section. And there you are. Let's
get that. I can drive a stick shift. You can
(30:47):
ride a horse too, can ride a horse? I can
what what style of horse riding? Were you trained? Intermediate? Okay?
Do you have a monologue? Prepare? Yes? Like me speaking
with my classical or my my let's do let's do
something from from aliens, just because I have Bogosian's Um
(31:10):
Suberbia prepared and Molier School for Husbands. Let's do something
when Ripley meets the little girl. Yes, let's do that.
My stomachs hurting. Sorry, just give me one second. Aliens
the first, that's the second one. I just meant, like
my actual stomach hurting. Right, Okay, there you are, there
(31:36):
you are. Oh, it's not going well. And it's not
going well. It sounds like he's bombing. I think his
voice sounds the same way it sounded right before he
shot himself Pirates. I'll tell you one thing. He wouldn't
be in there bombing right now if you didn't already
have himself set up for a dropping out of college.
Q and A. I mean talk about throwing yourself under
(31:58):
the boy. Yeah, I mean I finally agree with you
on something. Right. Yeah, we don't need the cat. We
don't need the cat. We just I thought that was beautiful.
Thank you for that. Thank you. What's that smell? Can
I get that pants? I can smell? Yes? Yes, question,
(32:21):
were you a chef? He's okay? No again again, I'm
sure it's the air conditioning. Let's just get through fecal
matta and the a C should can get someone think
there is rat file matter? Would you mind stepping outside? Phone?
Can you get it just a second? I think you
should have hap yourself again. Oh we weren't even taping
(32:46):
it to mem it. Man, It's all right, brother, happens
to me all the time. What would be a good
nick name for this one, like an audition ship, Let's see,
it'd probably be uh shitch. Yeah, well you can do
your backstage thing. Yeah, yeah, I guess that's true. Best
(33:14):
of luck. Up. Do you mind stepping out? You did
shoot yourself like this extended goodbye? This is kind of
part of the experience, is it not? Fellow actors real life?
As if use it right? That's uh, that's a Meisner thing,
as if it was actually happening to you. And don't
(33:34):
give me that. Oh yeah, we know Jimmy, Yeah, we
know Meisner. Carl we know Meisner. Yeah, we know, yeah,
we yeah, we know all right, you know him personally, right, Warren?
I did. Yeah. I shared a double wide with him
for a while. He said something to you on his
death best he said, only lenin that's what he should
(33:58):
only linen. What else? What else you want? Only repeat
my fucking words? I see, I know mine? I got you? Man?
What else do you need? What else you like? You
don't like this? You don't don't you don't die like this?
(34:18):
Don't you die like like you? You? What a master? Yeah?
He died in his own filth. Yeah, I feel like
you should do a monologue. You should do it in
original monologue. That's a good story. I usually I'm trying.
They didn't want to even hear my prepared piece. Honestly,
(34:40):
They're going to put you on the spot anyway, so
you might as well come in there with like some dynamite.
I'll do my best, but you know, welcome man. What
is your name? Place? George Cloney? And Mr Quinny? What
if you prepared first? Well? Uh, I got a little something,
says he you new? Yeah, good buddy, my my roommate
(35:01):
for a while. Okay, he died in the in the
double while we were staying and and uh pete and
pood on himself and sweat out every Mr Clooney, everyone
knows how he died. All right, we'll uh do you
know what. Let's just begin when you're ready. All right,
your father was captain of a starship for fifteen minutes.
(35:26):
He saved ten thousand lives. I dare you to do better.
That's from the star Trek when they rebooted it. Um,
she's doing the GM start trek up so natural than
any of us. Yeah, he's really done some living. Where
are you from? Uh? Birth unknown? But I did grow
(35:51):
up in the Great Plains area, Tornado Country? And when
did you just when did you realize you had to
be an actor? I realized I had to be an
or when honestly want to hit a rock top uh?
And things for things weren't going the way that I
wanted to go financially, but you felt that was rock
top yuh And uh I actually got after Meisner had passed. Um,
(36:16):
I started following this circus around and uh I pick
up their trash and slowly integrate into their social community.
Did you learn any skills there? I did? I learned
how to pitch tense. I learned that human faces has
many many uh uses. It's not just for fuel. Uh. Well,
you can use it to make brick. If you dry
(36:37):
it out and you use certain pieces of meat, it
actually becomes like a fabric and you can use this
close to and uh. Not only is it used for sores,
bed or otherwise, but ingested through the angus again actually
makes like a breadlight consistency which can be shared. Can
you start? Don't even tell if he's acting. It's so naturalistic,
(36:57):
it's amazing, you know what. I have a crush on Warren,
but he's like Warren, he's a genius. You know, the
last man I hadn't fair with. We know so what
you can't stop telling us about it? Oh my god,
I think I booked it. I thank you. Wow, this
(37:23):
is crazy. I can't even get to work with all
young people. Oh, you're so relaxed already. Yeah, I've been
doing enough things, like I have you to take the
good stuff? Are you still here in the I don't
think you should count in your chickens before they've hatched,
because I haven't auditioned yet. You're going to audition. I've
been waiting here to audition. I'm that's all the time
(37:44):
we'll have for the rest of you. Please sign up
again tomorrow if you're interested. But I've I've been sorry.
What was that I've been here for? You had something
to say to your monolucke? Now? Oh, I shall not pass.
There are time when Hobbits want to cross bridges, and
there are times when hobbits should stay. You understand, I'm
(38:07):
gonna get the tune of fish. Fine, fantastic, Just give
me one more try. I'll do the contemporary. Peace have
mine with that bread you sid struck down upon we
guys come back, or and you taste like tobacco. Yeah,
I rub it on my body to distress. You know,
(38:27):
my first two wives they worked on tobacco farms. Yeah.
I had an affair with him mine, So I guess
I'm pretty interesting. He couldn't see, really could but he
made other people say you know. Yeah, alright, well, ladies
and gentlemen, welcome to opening night of It's a darn shame.
(38:52):
It's a darn shame. Shut up, I am saying. No,
you've built. I know I just built. The day will come.
Please stop, my god. Everybody use your special skills, the
cruel worl We have special skills too, No we don't.
(39:16):
Only you can see us. Doesn't matter. We're nothing. We're nothing.
Is the true or nothing? They don't want to say
it's true, but it feels right. Look before you open
this curtain You're gonna have to solve this clue. What
is it? Oh? The worst and the best sexually? At
(39:37):
seventy three. Our last scene today comes from an anonymous
listener who suggests that greetings can miss as I have
enjoyed the alchemy chaos. I was driving by a local
doggy daycare, thus inspiration set scene a midsize city dog
daycare counter attendant the heat enter, big city, wealthy woman
(40:02):
with an exotic animals such as an emu, insisting that
where she is from they accept all breeds of creature.
Following her are other people from say reality shows with animals,
such as a bayou swamper with an alligator know it
and with the duck no it? Yes? I could continue,
but you get the okay? Alchemist, Yes and not signed.
(40:27):
It's a bird. This is a dark kennel. If this
is a bird, it's not going to last a day
in this kennel. It will last several days. He's a fighter,
aren't you our truth? Oh? Come here, give him mommy
a tongue. Okay, Well, here's the thing is, I'm not prepared.
What's your name? Where's your name? Tag? Why don't you
(40:47):
have a name? The hean it's my last name. The
last name is the her hein. I mean it's you
don't have to insult me. I'm going to be taking
care of your precious bird. Do you want you for
admitting it? Allegra Dunburrow. I've already made the reservation. I
just didn't realize when it was filled out that it
(41:07):
was a bird. I'm gonna have to get a special
kind of I don't know how to feed a bird.
I don't know how. This attitude is not serving anyone.
This is problematic. I have to go. I am needed places. Wait,
can you feed it after midnight? Or is it going
to turn into It's not a gremlin, Miss Dunburrows are
a problem. There is a problem. Thank you for coming
back again, Thank you for existing. Oh is that the hean?
(41:32):
The he Oh this isn't Charlie. Charlie pass yes, brought
the talking one. This is a new friend. Beauty, beauty, beauty.
She's gorgeous. Thank you, and I am having a little
trouble with the hean. I'm sure you'll alleviate the problems. Well,
(41:54):
I guess I until now, I've never seen us take
anything except dogs, because we take everything, really all of
god creatures. All of God's creatures were religious. Well, me
and my bird, then we will take this bird. And
what their name? Again? Well? He has many names? Which
one should we write down? Corpet? Corpett, corpet. I'll let
(42:16):
him choose. Come on, Kyle, Hi, what do I sign in? Um?
You can sign it with me, terrific. I don't want
to stay here, he's I'm leaving my side. Can There's
no way we can take a child. We're a kennel.
I'm sorry, I just I'm sorry. You have a business trip.
You probably don't know much about business, but I do. Well,
(42:36):
it's just like, honestly, the supervision. Can't I stay with dad?
Do you like doggies? They're fine? Do you like birdies?
I don't know. Okay, it's gonna be fine. How old
is Kyle, Kyle? How old are you? No? I can't
see that. Like there's it needs constant supervisions. Where the
human being needs constant supervision, needs constant supervision. He doesn't.
(42:57):
He's fine. I'm fine being referred to as it. I
really like, I really don't think it's appropriate. Showed me
back back. He has pop tarts in there. That's a
nice backpack with all of ours, thank and h Cantigo
container of coffee. Well with you. I see you're probably
too young to drink coffee. I'm gonna have to just
(43:18):
got a problem. Yes, we got the dog kennels. Okay,
hold on, hold on, girl, girl, we got we have
a new person, new Kyle. Great. I'm leaving him here
with okay, um, I don't know when I'll be back.
(43:44):
Here's my cell phone number. Here's seven hundred dollars in cash. Okay,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Hold on one second, give me
a kiss. Okay, I'm fine. Just okay, he's embarrassed. Can
you take Kyle with you and wrangle these dogs with me?
(44:06):
Going on with what's going on? Well? There on each other?
That's not good. The big ones are winning, as you
would guess. That's the most You're not supposed to have
the big ones and the little ones together. I didn't
I didn't do it. You didn't do it. Okay, Well,
(44:28):
you're in charge of the locks and the keys. Can uh, Kyle,
please get off of that move that is that bird?
Cannot you can't be That's not a bearing way et
ll I focus on what's going on with the dogs.
This is not my fault. I am front. The dogs
(44:49):
are killing in each other. Okay, I see that. I
can't get in between those dogs fighting. I'm gonna get
torn to shreds. Hey the yes, k how do you
get your own nicknames? Started like that? It's not a nickname.
He just had a Brandon all his name died. All
of us put our room names on there is he
requested Dan. It's my last nickname. Everybody knows that. Thank you.
(45:13):
What's your name? Ethn? Kyle look likely to me. I
wouldn't mind being called Ethan on your knime nickname the
name Taxa for employees only. There Now, Kyle is eleven
years old? Girl, how are we go say sixteen? Well,
(45:34):
we just got a new heart. Alright, Well, then you
get to show him around the place where that while
you're sopping up dog blood and the kennel. All right,
I guess I'll have to do what I have to do.
Come on, Nathan, let me show you how the faith
that a little berk cool on the roof room for
one place? Um, excuse me out of the check in,
(45:55):
you're you're this is I'm sorry, this is a dog kennel.
Very well, it's a donkey hotel. Hotel, it is nonetheless,
it's a it's high end. I would like to live
here for one week's time. Here's a briefcase. Money's inside
my husband. He's being dramatic. You call a man a
dog and he acts like a dog wolf. Well, here's
(46:19):
the thing is, if I take you and put you
into these cannels, you're going to be sleeping with dogs.
I told you it would never work. Um, that is
what we want to happen. And my wife happens to
sleep with a dog every night. Stop. We're playing a
little game, and in this chapter, my darling needs to
(46:40):
sleep with the dogs. In chapter two, we were shoving
heroin up our. He doesn't want to be bored with
the details, my hand reaching into his tight, tight assholere
sure you are making very disgusting were very well around.
(47:02):
Kick him up in a week and in that week,
I hope you've gotten him into submission for Oh, he
bait me. You have to kick this dog. I kick him,
kave me. I can't kick kick the kick alright, alright,
I'll kick him okay, So sorry, hello, oh hi hi,
(47:29):
I am almost wondering if I could get an animal
take home. No, we only take animals from other people
and of the Excuse me, I'm happy to see what
this journey takes me. I'm for so I want to
cut up an animal, I'm going to pay Wait wait, wait, wait,
I want to kick an animal. Want to point it
up and see what the insides are. Um, I'm gonna
(47:53):
go to the canal, Garl. That's not appropriate. Well those
in appropriate. Since I am all, I can show you
what's it's. It's a wawa right now, come with me.
Where's your name? Even? You're gonna love your new brother Raven.
Excuse me, I need to canel for tonight. Wait, there's
(48:15):
gonna be a full moon. I don't want to kill again.
My god, are you wearable? God? I don't want to
kill again. Listen, we have an actual special kennel for
people just like you, for liking thropes. For liking thropes.
I'm gonna have the accommodations. I mean, it's just bars,
and we change you neck first. You want to change me? Good? Well,
we were finding real strong. I can break out anywhere.
(48:37):
Trust me, Garl knows how to lock you up. So
affright of lock and throw from from the looks of it.
We probably got about an hour and a half before
he full bursts. Yeah, well that's enough time. The locks
I know. I'm just saying, let's put it there. Just
lock him in. God is gonna be a full moon
(48:58):
and night. Yeah, it's gonna be a full moon. But
that an hour and a half and you are not.
This is a dog kennel. That's a dog, the dog
that won the big death war. There was a death
war and the camel. Most of the dogs really go
at it. Little dogs lost this one part of me.
(49:18):
Who do I ring for room service? Uh? Well there's
no rings. There's no room service. You checked into a
dog kennel. Okay, I will have my supper in an
hour and a half at the full moon. Please, you're
gonna be getting a big pile of dog food in
a bowl. The speaking of yummy. Who's this young man? Well,
(49:38):
get him away from me. You should really step back.
Anytime someone tells me to step back, I take two
steps closer. Oh God, I know I'm gonna kill this guy.
We got minutes before. For God's sake, fancy a game
of chess? I do like chess. Great, let's go play
all right? Ex curiously, man, I don't mean to bother you,
(49:59):
but I believe my master checked into this place earlier
and I was looking for him. Please. Oh wow, we've
got an extensive list your master could he claims to
be aware of but of course he isn't because it's absurd.
I don't know what. I just need a couple of
words with him. Please. I know he's fly a chest
with the freak. Please take me to the chessboard. I
(50:22):
think they're just during a sort of makeshift chessboard because
as far as oh no, we don't have a chess
board the checkers board, and they can don't have the horse. Well,
I brought the horse. I have two horses in my bay. Okay,
I'll go to the rooftop where the pagans are about.
That's where they're doing a chest. Please show me to
be there's the stairs. I should go there myself. What
(50:50):
an interesting place? Three more steps? Count on because I
scare me when I'm going on, very well? Why and
thank you very much? And which way to find my master? I'
just look around for him. Oh my god, why are
you castling so quickly? It's my prerogative. I could do
(51:11):
whatever I wish. Yes, you can. But it's not a
good move. That's that's that's that's my strategy. Oh god,
what is that? Well, we are in a dog. I'm
assuming it's a dog. Who's that? Master? There you are.
I looked all over for you. I knew you must
have come to this place. Carl, Please come, Carl, what
(51:33):
are you doing? Please come with me right away. I've
got it. You gotta lock me up. I don't want
to kill again. Look at the time, it's an early
moon tonights. Carl, my live's Carl. How do you Carl?
But withzard three car No, no, no, they are on
the front. Get carlos them. It's officially a full move.
(51:59):
We have to get your everyone. It's wrong, big, big,
as much longer than normal. Yeah. So I just pretty
(52:19):
much just want to just drop off the cats for
a little bit. And this is the worst idea. I cannot.
I have accepted children, human beings, but for me to
bring this cat into this place right now, it's beyond it. Okay,
I don't care my light on the roof, CARLD. This
(52:41):
guy wants to bring cats that the creatures, the creatures,
there's crazy. The guy just turned into a werewolf and
knocked the chessboard over. True, he was mad. Then are
you eleven? Yeah, I'm staying here for the weekend. I
told you our child checked in. Okay, I'll guess I'll
(53:06):
just leave my cats up my mom's I guess. I
don't care what you do with your cats, but you
better care. Yeah, that's right, that's exactly right. It was perfect,
there were We've just broke into the reception area. Oh
(53:29):
and end of the madness. Let's thank our engineer Doug
Baine please, and our post sound engineer and design Raphael Britto,
our producer Sophie Lichtman. And lastly, I heart media. Of course,
I encourage you all to write a review, tell everyone
you've ever met, and write to us at your name
(53:50):
here at alchemy this dot com. Two episodes a week,
Tuesdays and Thursdays. We'd love to hear from you. Let's
go around and say thank you to everyone. But that's
a ragland Venis, thank you so much, thank you, but
n it's always the joy, oh man, Craig Atkowski, Hey,
that what a pleasure. Couldn't here the heat? That's me
I got like plugged into that last scene. That's almost advertisement.
(54:14):
We've heard enough from the game. Well, I mean you
could get more at brief Perfect Christopher Rodo Brief News
brief dot com. Nice pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, pleasure always. All Right,
that's it for today, Until next time, U
Everybody, it's your crew from Alchemy. There. We have something
special to say, right, Yeah, tonight's big show. Yeah, because
we have a show, so it's show day. So we're
all in that kind of headspace. We're all juice right now. Yeah, Craig,
wan't you give him all the info? Tuesday seven, it's
(00:20):
today tonight Today in Los Angeles, Dynasty Typewriter. We're doing
a live show. So just come do it. We'll see
you soon. In perfect am. Welcome back to the episode
of Alchemy. This. I'm your host, Kevin Poll guest that Kevin, Yeah, yeah,
I am. If you don't mind, Okay, no, no, you
(00:42):
don't worry about it then, but I digress. I'm so
very happy to welcome you to yet another episode of Alchemy. There,
let's meet today's Alchemy. Shall we know particular order? Say,
look at Chris Alvarado. Switch Chris. When it comes to
ice cream flavors, chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry, share your fun,
Mary kill please chocolate, vanilla, strawberry. Um, I would marry strawberry.
(01:09):
I don't want to play this game. Well done, old man,
Well done. Howdy Host Joey Greer Greer, Mr President, please
go away. What would Jesus do if he met Santa Claus?
Probably make a wish? Oh nice, James Heeney with a
name like Hey, it's gotta be good. Do you think
(01:29):
anyone suspects you once killed a man for asking too
many questions? I am counting on them knowing I'm the
kind of guy that would kill someone that asks too
many questions. To put that out there, I mean, if
they haven't picked up on it, it's gonna catch soon.
They know that now, Vanessa ragling everybody, When your son
eventually shares that he wants to hurt Joey Greer, what
(01:50):
you're gonna say? Say, don't hurt him? Smart and us,
but madd on your face, your big disgrace singing we
will we will rock you. If you think him least
it's Greig Cocao. Do you believe in magic? Buck strawberry
(02:13):
Mary chocolate? Alright, let's get to our first team shower
all today's scene suggested Uh we're from gathered from listeners emails.
If you'd like to submit your scene suggestions, please write
to the podcast at your name here at alchemy this
dot com. That's your name here at alchemy this dot
com Our first team comes from Josh, who wrote, oh boy,
(02:36):
I have just recently started listening to Right to the
Alchemy be Friends. Alchemy doesn't like me. Oh he's playing
with our or as known in social circles, it's not fair.
Alchemy always gets the girls. The podcast has caused embarrassment
on multiple occasions. I try to turn my laughter into
(02:57):
pretend coughing to say public, save face in public, just
throwing it out an idea here hired assassins in a
blimp unknowingly after the same darket. Thanks as always, Josh,
just me, pardon me? Can I just get through this? Arenas?
Of course? Thank you? Take beautiful day out here. Thank you,
(03:18):
tecuts here you go, thank you ticket. I don't have
my tickets. Teakots. I don't have my tickets. Did you
put them somewhere? Yeah? My mom's not you two needs
a milk? Do you work here or you take it?
Just says oh, we're okay, here you tea kids? Sure,
(03:42):
here you go kids tea kids tickets. I gave you
a ticket just a minute ago. Okay, I don't have
a second ticket. You took mine second ticket. I bought
one ticket and I don't have another one. Excuse me,
is there a restaurant on the glim I'm becoming around
of food in a bit. Oh you are the restaurant tickets. Well,
(04:08):
the service is really going downhill in these blimps, haven't they.
I have a dad. I'm sorry, I have a dad.
She was making conversation. The service has gone down. I
remember when used to be riding a blimp felt like
I don't know, I was the queen of Shiva. Used
to be the height of elegant. It used to be
the height of elegance. That's right. They used to have
real silverware. Navy seal. My dad's a Navy seal. Where
(04:34):
where are you when this Brett young Man hit it? Well?
New York, New York. We're just out to see some
sites today. Ultimately new York. Where are you added? Well,
I'm going to stop in New York, but then head
on to Boston. Oh just during the full looks like
(04:55):
a real rules. It's a real roller. I can tell
the difference. I love your tweet jacket. Please forgive Eddie.
Do you want to feel it? I would love to. Oh,
just like I imagine little bumps. That's right. Look a cloud?
Oh food? Oh yes, food. I'll have food. I'll take
(05:20):
I'll take the ruffles. I guess ticket. Yeah, I showed
you my ticket. Do you have a ticket for food tickets?
Is it extra for food? Where do we get? Where
do we get food tickets? You should have got them
at the ticket booth at the ground level. Can I
purchase some here? Okay? I'll have how many tickets with
(05:42):
the pringles? Have to go get the food tickets? Blamp
travel has gone downhill? Somebody say, dirgeible, it's such a
great data fly and it beautiful day of courtious? Where
are you folks from Navy seals? My dad as a
Navy seal? Is your dad a Navy seal? Oh that's great.
When's the last time you saw him? And I haven't
(06:03):
met him yet. Right, he's been on a mission. Oh boy,
it's gotta be tough on the too. You we're doing
just fine, thank you very much. Here. I was happy
to be a single mother. We're not missing anything in
our life. Everything's fine. You're not saying we're not. She's
not a single mother. My dad's on a mission, right,
he's been on a mission for seventeen years. And when
he does come home to the two of you. Where
(06:24):
would that be? Oh uh, you want to know where
we live? I didn't an address, Just curious what four
three zero three venturable of our los ANGELETTI yes, all
the way from coast to coast on this plank. No,
that's why I said. Ultimately we are going to go
to New York. We're just sight seeing today. Okay, yeah,
(06:45):
listen up. So it's look, it's pretty simple and here. Okay,
you just pretty much just gotta make sure the pedals
are moving, and then the blimp will take care of yourself.
Believe that I've got a pedal. This thing take such
your cake technology. It's a blimp. Man, What you want?
I don't know. I just thought I'm not in shape.
I can't probably keep pedaling. Get in shape by peddling. Man,
(07:07):
all right, this is harder than I thought it was.
The top part of my body is about two fifty pounds.
The bottom half of my body looks like a pro cyclist.
All right, It's just how it is. Geez. It sounded
like a much better job before I got up here. Jesus, man,
what do you want? I don't know. I thought maybe
it be easy. The blimp is just kind of floating.
How many jobs can I get you? And then you
(07:27):
just want to just quit while you're in the middle.
Just it's just this is hard work I'm looking for.
Like you know, guys, man, I can't get easier than this.
You can't too. I don't want pedal. Isn't there like no? No,
like an automatic? Come on, there's an automatic and ever there? Yeah,
there's not a magic. I mean they don't want us
to use it. They want us to pedal. Man, come
(07:48):
on and let me use to you at Ao Manning.
I'm tired. I'll get into shape later. You promise you're
gonna get into shape. I'm gonna be a pedal half
the time, and half the time I'll do on man alright,
because there was there was a whole Blimpenberg disaster and
just the whole thing ted. Man, you can trust me.
I don't I appreciate you hooking me up this JUHNP
(08:09):
captain doing anything up here? An get drink? Can we
get a couple of bourbon? Bourbon? What that's that dangerous?
On that three? But y'all are flying this thing. I
know we're gonna flip it on. Okay, I have to
admit it's a little traumatic for me to be on
(08:30):
this flight. My late wife was on the Blimpenberg. Oh no,
you're a widower the Bloomberg. What a tragedy. It was terrible.
Y Oh the humanity. Indeed, you're very brave to face
your fears like this. Is that a real scope you
have hang out of your jacket mouthwash? Oh? Yes, uh,
(08:54):
this this rifle scope, that's what you're referring to. Yeah?
That tickets? Yes? Yes? Can I just buy the food directly?
Food ticket first? To meet a ticket food ticket? Are
you selling the food tickets? Yes, I'll have enough food
tickets to buy pringles and what do you want Eddie
(09:15):
sour patch kids and um whatever, this gentleman, that's very
kind of you. Anyone, I'll take ruffles and uh, I'll
take it outrageous. Okay, that's gonna be fun. Can I
just give you a twenty and assume it's even because no?
(09:42):
Can I ask you? Is this a manual pedal blimp? Yeah?
This is a traditional pump, but it has GPS and
everything else. It's just the blimp itself was built nineteen
and then it's an updated over the past. How did
you get this job? Can I just ask what everyone's thinking.
How did you get this job? I applied right, and
(10:05):
then what happened? Was there some sort of interview process
where they saw your demeanor and your work ethic calmed down?
We didn't know each other before, we just met. Don't
want this to affect the food. I've been watching this
whole These people are hungry. You're trying to sell them here.
Oh my god, it's another winer. Listen to Are you
(10:26):
two brothers? Are you related? You must be. No one
wants tickets, they want food. This gentleman would like some
ruffles sour patch over here, pringles and take the woman's money.
Let's have it. Take to twenties. Is there a supervisor
we can talk to? Seces? Are you? Are you hard
(10:48):
of hearing? Why do you ask? Kid? Because you have
an earpiece in your ear? Is that a hearing aid? Yes,
that's right, my U. After my wife was killed in
the Blombenberg, I yelled so loud, I shuttered my left
and a little harder hearing. I got the food situation
(11:08):
sorted out, and I found some lifesavers in my purse.
So here he goes. Are you guys having some fun?
I'll take my nutrageous. Thank you, Michael. It was yes,
not Michael. Michael, got it, Eddie. My dad has at
(11:29):
least a hundred forty three confirmed kills. Don't twist my arm.
You haven't even met him. We don't know what he was.
I know he has a hunter confirmed better. Now should
be easy to get a clear shot on this blimp.
I mean a clear shot, you know, out the window
and look at the sky. I have a little PTSD
(11:51):
M my husband Navy seal. You know, I've been through
a lot and then through a lot of intense situations,
and I'm ready to just glide on a blimp. I'm
gonna go. Okay, you can just make as you think
that stewardess likes me. She was, she was smiling. You're
talking about workplace harassment, man, that's nuts. No, Ted, I
(12:12):
think she was. She was talking about the bourbondh it's dangerous.
She winked me selling. Oh shit, I'm a shot. Oh
my god, oh my god, oh my chest ketches. Take
(12:38):
it up, automatic, kept take it up. Okay, Okay, okay,
ladies and gentleman, we're gonna be a little bit bumby
or I hate hearing his voice. Everyone's gonna have to
(12:59):
put on their seatbelts. His voice is almost calmbing. But yeah,
he put the other one first. This is fine. What's
going on? Um, there is a problem with what you
just draw a picture here? Did I see the blimp?
(13:22):
You have a very skilled hand. Why is that man
of red in his chest? Red in his chest? Red
in his chest? What could that be? Then? Something? Oh,
you're just scratching his face, scratching up. Oh, you can't
wake the pilot. Trying to wake the pilot. Wait, the
(13:44):
pilot is asleep. Who's flying the blimp? Michael? Come down?
I'm sorry. You think should be fine? You just take
your seats. Why don't you even get a pilot ticket? Huh? Seefing?
Run around the blimp and see if anyone's a pilot
comes down. I should have done better to get a
(14:07):
ticket for the Blimpenberg too. Where's the burbon? Who's got
the bourbon? Somebody come up here. It looks like one
of us has had two menutes. Come up here. Get
him out of the seats down next to me. What's happening?
His chest exploded? Just what happened? Lord? The helicopter? Good Lord,
(14:32):
I'm get as low as I can. Man, my son's
in there. Flip. Come on, you know that kid's not
in there. It's my son. I know it's I'm gonna
kill every motherfucker in there. Goddamn it. We're clear after this, Okay,
no more favors. You old me this one. I don't know, man.
All of a sudden, the hole disappeared in the windshield,
and then a whole bunch of the ticket boys just
(14:55):
drew me a picture and they had slighting. He's been
shutting the chest. Oh my god. Sorry, she came up
here quickly. Don't apologize about me. We have to fix this.
Do you know what you're doing? No, I can't pedal
that fast. We need take spin class. Move the body
(15:17):
with me. I'm sitting in I'm sitting in blood. Fine,
it's fine. Tower to blamp, Tower to blamp. We see
you very off course. You know what, Maybe you should
answer and people here, Hello, this is the blimp. I'm
a lady that was on the blimp. My name is Melinda.
I don't know what I'm doing, but there was a
(15:37):
dead man and I'm trying to pedal. Melinda, are the
pedals in front of you? The pedals are under my feet.
I have the pedals in petal position. How big are
your feet? My size seven and a half in men's No,
that's women's and men's. Oh, I don't know what that is?
At three at three, at three, Well, it's a beautiful
(15:59):
day at Dodgers Stadium as the Dodgers take on the
San Diego Padres. And oh, what's this? We have a
visitor in the sky, the beautiful Blippenberg too, flying over
the stadium. And oh, looks like a playing full of
Navy seals is trying to board it. Oh, get closer,
kick closer, can man, you owe me this one? No
(16:23):
more favors? Man? Oh shit, I got eyes on somebody.
It looks like Michale's in there. What the hell? The
assassin mckel the assass says Chris das Como. Can ask
you a favorite one more? All right? Get me close
enough so I can board this. But it's really close
to be able to get out of there. I'm I'm
(16:43):
terribly sorry. By the way, don't apologize. I'm terribly sorry
that I have to take your son. I can't stop peddling.
Let me, I'm thecale of the spy. Oh no, I've
heard about you wiggle away. It's not working. Oh my god,
(17:06):
are you a nave seal, a naval sailing? Oh my god,
you just came bloom. I can't control that. I owe
you one now to make my way to the back
of this blame business. I'm sorry, hold on, you can't
(17:28):
hold on. You you need a ticket, alright, I got cash.
I'm sorry. You're gonna have to get the ticket. You're
gonna have michail. Oh wow, look away, have here? I
got afraid, nutrageous out of your wife. Let go of
(17:52):
my son. He's hooked up to my fake rollands. I
knew you'd come back. I knew you'd come back. I
love you, boy. I've been waiting seventeen years to hear that.
You don't have to wait a day longer, like father? Like?
So is it true you have a hundred forty three
(18:14):
kills making a hundred forty six? What wait? I love
you boy. Where's your mom? He's gonna kill you three?
I don't know. I think she's flying the blimp. She would. Well,
(18:35):
we got a real bond burter. Here is the padres
take a one nothing leading to the thing father and
son that here at the ballpark. Oh, the blimbers itself.
Looks like the Blimberg two is catching on fire. All
the humanity going down like a led Zeppelin. Oh man,
(18:58):
that got dark, and thank you for killing those two
winey motherfuckers. I thank that voices alone. Oh Man for snappers,
They got snappers. Gabe from Toronto. I recently got into alchemy.
This that's absolutely delight listened to in between classes. I
(19:20):
especially love the public library scene because I work in one.
The other day, in fact, I saw an old man
watching pornography during my shift and thought of you guys.
That actually happens. I studied theater at York University and
I would absolutely love to hear a bit about you
guys getting ready for auditions as student actors. I hope
(19:41):
you guys are having a great day. Gabe from Toronto. Okay, students, students,
we are going to be opening the doors in minutes.
Should we be in a single file now, we'll call
the names as they are written on the list. Just
(20:03):
see Tight and then him. Okay, So enjoy, have fun,
and remember you do this for the love of the theater,
not because you want to be famous make money. It
is for the love of the theater. How many rules
are being cast today? None? I love the theater? How many?
(20:27):
How many rules are being kist Answers will be questioned
in the room. Excuse me? What is our time? Down?
To you now? Still twenty minutes? Thank you, thank thank
thank you. What are you guys doing for your too
contrasting monologue? Okay, we're not. We don't have to share
that information with you. You don't have to share it,
but I'm happy to share mine. Why, Okay, how do
you I'll find I'll go first, go ahead, I'm doing
(20:50):
um Suburbia Bible goes in, followed by a monologue so
predictable for classic I'm doing shy Walk from Merchant of
Venice from I'm doing Teach from American Buffalo, also obvious.
I'm doing two original pieces I did ye? Are they contrasting?
They are contrasting. One is super sad and one is absurd.
(21:17):
It's sort of moment? Are they both emotional? Extremely? Yeah,
you're going to get this, Miranda, Oh my gosh, No,
you're gonna get this. I'm gonna do uh, I'm gonna
do a thing for my classical piece. I'll probably do
some early you have to know already early de Niro
or something. You're like a grad student, right are you?
(21:40):
I'm undergrad? H So you have prepared your monologue. You
probably should just wait for the next round of auditions.
He's super serious about preparation. Yeah. Well, I mean we
all have our process, you know. Whoops, Oh, not a
big deal. Sorry, it's got an email on my phone.
So it's from backstage and they want to do a
Q and A with me someone backstage. It's a periodical
(22:05):
Oh so once in a while I try. I don't
even bring my phone to auditions. I just want to
be I usually don't either, but I was waiting for
this important What's the Q and A about dropping out
of college theater programs? Yeah? I love theater. Is that
really what it's about? Is it? Yeah? If you dropped
out that, how are you a today? You can't. This
(22:27):
doesn't make or break for me. Most people know it.
I had that explosion during um the other play we
did you poop your pants? Just say it? Okay? Oh
your ship pants boy? Yeah. During the Pirates of pen Dance,
I had parents. I mean they say, you know all good,
(22:53):
all you know what they say that? What's the saying? So? Well,
the point is I made national news, so I went viral?
He did, I went viral hel and so now they're
going to question me about it. And if I make
this play, I'm back in the school. Tasson has his
own YouTube channel and it gets more views than most
model like but YouTube YouTube is like a lower lower
class of entertainment. But Tasson is doing good work on
(23:16):
their Chris O'Donnell, Chris O'Donnell. Please, that's me, come in please, Hey,
you'll be called Kay, thank you. That's my stage name,
by the way, right, Chris please whenever you already. It's
not my real name. I just stage name. I understand.
(23:37):
So if I do get cast, we just have to
reconcile that with my student records. I just wanted a
sort of like more asexual name. That's fine, whatever name.
We don't. But I just realized when you said it.
When whenever you're ready, which would you like? First? I
have prepared two original pieces. Would you like my more
classical one or my more absurd modern want? Let's do
(24:01):
something from man begins? Oh um, I don't have a
piece from Batman begain, just do it from memory? Um? Okay, absolutely,
Professor Um Poison Ivy, get out of um. The jokers
(24:24):
at it again. Oh man, he's driving me so crazy
lately with um um Batman, Batman, damn you. I loved you, Batman.
I loved you so goddamn much. She's doing great in there,
(24:45):
she's doing great. And yet there you are in your
cave again with your bats. And here I am, all
dressed up on a rooftop in the middle of Gotham
City alone. Oh Batman, I wish you would show up. God,
(25:08):
she's crying. She's so real, she can cry. Chris O'Donnell
was the best actor in the hold. I wouldn't say that.
I'd say she's good. I can cry anytime I try.
I'm really good. I just pinched myself really hard in
my pocket. Looks like I'm gonna have to take this
matter in my own hands. I'm gonna have to save
Gotham myself, and I'm going to have to put on
(25:29):
a costume to do it. But more than that, I'm
going to have to be vulnerable and strong and Donald,
if I can stop you just for a moment, please
on the back. I notice under your special skills says
horseback riding correct and accents where you study mine. I
studied mime at the Mime Institute of Chicago, Nick. I
(25:52):
was there for three months. Three of those amazing life
changing months. I met so many amazing people. I got
to work with some real luminaries. Did you work I
did not work with John, but I actually worked with
his apprentice mar that's correct. Yes, we had an affair.
And which accents can just as accents, I can do
(26:15):
all of them at once. Please give me a phrase.
Come inside of there's fruits for everyone they have, but
none of the children. If you wanted to have more
com inside the frying frame, and maybe you won't have
the children. And she's doing all over accents, It doesn't matter.
(26:38):
You know what, um You ever heard of the words
black box experimental theater. Yeah, well that's where I think
I'm going. So there's no accents needed, there's no singing needed,
there's no crying. I did a two month run where
a homeless woman would take a dump on my chest
and then I have a children as acquired cry in
the background. Long story short found out that that wasn't
(26:59):
actually you play. It was just so. It was just
a squatting camp that happened to stumble upon man war
and you have done some living Yeah? Yeah? Is that
guerrilla theater? I'm not sure what it was called? What
I remember? We used to be a taco bail. Have
you've written any of this down? These are amazing starts?
(27:20):
Oh no, those are just my life. Wait? Is this
your monologue that you're going to go in there? Are
you auditioning passing it off its conversation? Oh? No? Are you?
That is so not cool? Are you also auditioning? Yes? Oh?
I just I thought I saw you walking there earlier,
but I guess I've just been watching and waiting. Okay,
I don't want any problems with anybody here. Remember we
were here because it's about Swinton killed us. Swinton, thank
(27:45):
you again for seeing me. It was an honor. That
was awesome. It was awesome. What happened? You're like, no, not, you'relowing. Honestly,
this Winton is mees please coming inside? Thank you? I
love you fantastic. What do you have prepare? If you'll
(28:07):
prick us? Do we not blade? Fucking Ruthie fucking Ruthie,
fucking Ruthie, fucking Ruthie, fucking Ruthie, fucking Ruthie. When have
you already that was it. It certainly was Shylock for
(28:29):
the Merchant of Venice were painfully aware both pieces. At
this point, can you tell me about your special skills? Yes,
I have none. On there you have? They just have
escape room. That's all you've written down. I design escape rooms,
you do so you could if we needed someone like
set designing. Uh, if you were to make the show
(28:51):
as a crew member and be in the show. No,
they can't have them. I don't think both. We don't
want someone behind the scene in the scene, right. Look,
if I don't get cast, I'm I want to be
involved in some way in any way. Yes, I'll design
the sets. Give me a couple of bars of if
I had a hammer, a couple of bars um, if
(29:16):
I had a hammer in the morning, he's killing evening.
Thank you very much. I'm I'm a baritone. You certainly
are all right. Well listen, if you'd wait in the
outer room, I think we'll think we'll be able. We'll
want to see you again. A hammer. They pent me
(29:43):
into it. But I sing that song all the time.
That wasn't that great. It was okay. You didn't go flat,
you didn't go sharp, You hit the notes you're mean.
I'm not mean. It's just tough when you're competing and
you have to here the person. We're not competing against
each other, that's true. Are you kidding? No, it's true.
(30:04):
Joking yourself. Do you think we're all going to get cast?
Haven't you listened to his last lecture? I listened to it,
But I feel like he was trying to anybody who
wasn't going for the gold. He was trying to send
home play be supportive of each other. Than what is
the matter with you? Are you? You're you're auditioning. You're
not in the room waiting to get into the room. Okay,
(30:25):
So like you like ask for special skills, you guys
know they're basic, the basic A lot of the audition
and his special skills and not very much. That's me.
I mean one, I'm just riding him, just finishing up
to my special skills section. And there you are. Let's
get that. I can drive a stick shift. You can
(30:47):
ride a horse too, can ride a horse? I can
what what style of horse riding? Were you trained? Intermediate? Okay?
Do you have a monologue? Prepare? Yes? Like me speaking
with my classical or my my let's do let's do
something from from aliens, just because I have Bogosian's Um
(31:10):
Suberbia prepared and Molier School for Husbands. Let's do something
when Ripley meets the little girl. Yes, let's do that.
My stomachs hurting. Sorry, just give me one second. Aliens
the first, that's the second one. I just meant, like
my actual stomach hurting. Right, Okay, there you are, there
(31:36):
you are. Oh, it's not going well. And it's not
going well. It sounds like he's bombing. I think his
voice sounds the same way it sounded right before he
shot himself Pirates. I'll tell you one thing. He wouldn't
be in there bombing right now if you didn't already
have himself set up for a dropping out of college.
Q and A. I mean talk about throwing yourself under
(31:58):
the boy. Yeah, I mean I finally agree with you
on something. Right. Yeah, we don't need the cat. We
don't need the cat. We just I thought that was beautiful.
Thank you for that. Thank you. What's that smell? Can
I get that pants? I can smell? Yes? Yes, question,
(32:21):
were you a chef? He's okay? No again again, I'm
sure it's the air conditioning. Let's just get through fecal
matta and the a C should can get someone think
there is rat file matter? Would you mind stepping outside? Phone?
Can you get it just a second? I think you
should have hap yourself again. Oh we weren't even taping
(32:46):
it to mem it. Man, It's all right, brother, happens
to me all the time. What would be a good
nick name for this one, like an audition ship, Let's see,
it'd probably be uh shitch. Yeah, well you can do
your backstage thing. Yeah, yeah, I guess that's true. Best
(33:14):
of luck. Up. Do you mind stepping out? You did
shoot yourself like this extended goodbye? This is kind of
part of the experience, is it not? Fellow actors real life?
As if use it right? That's uh, that's a Meisner thing,
as if it was actually happening to you. And don't
(33:34):
give me that. Oh yeah, we know Jimmy, Yeah, we
know Meisner. Carl we know Meisner. Yeah, we know, yeah,
we yeah, we know all right, you know him personally, right, Warren?
I did. Yeah. I shared a double wide with him
for a while. He said something to you on his
death best he said, only lenin that's what he should
(33:58):
only linen. What else? What else you want? Only repeat
my fucking words? I see, I know mine? I got you? Man?
What else do you need? What else you like? You
don't like this? You don't don't you don't die like this?
(34:18):
Don't you die like like you? You? What a master? Yeah?
He died in his own filth. Yeah, I feel like
you should do a monologue. You should do it in
original monologue. That's a good story. I usually I'm trying.
They didn't want to even hear my prepared piece. Honestly,
(34:40):
They're going to put you on the spot anyway, so
you might as well come in there with like some dynamite.
I'll do my best, but you know, welcome man. What
is your name? Place? George Cloney? And Mr Quinny? What
if you prepared first? Well? Uh, I got a little something,
says he you new? Yeah, good buddy, my my roommate
(35:01):
for a while. Okay, he died in the in the
double while we were staying and and uh pete and
pood on himself and sweat out every Mr Clooney, everyone
knows how he died. All right, we'll uh do you
know what. Let's just begin when you're ready. All right,
your father was captain of a starship for fifteen minutes.
(35:26):
He saved ten thousand lives. I dare you to do better.
That's from the star Trek when they rebooted it. Um,
she's doing the GM start trek up so natural than
any of us. Yeah, he's really done some living. Where
are you from? Uh? Birth unknown? But I did grow
(35:51):
up in the Great Plains area, Tornado Country? And when
did you just when did you realize you had to
be an actor? I realized I had to be an
or when honestly want to hit a rock top uh?
And things for things weren't going the way that I
wanted to go financially, but you felt that was rock
top yuh And uh I actually got after Meisner had passed. Um,
(36:16):
I started following this circus around and uh I pick
up their trash and slowly integrate into their social community.
Did you learn any skills there? I did? I learned
how to pitch tense. I learned that human faces has
many many uh uses. It's not just for fuel. Uh. Well,
you can use it to make brick. If you dry
(36:37):
it out and you use certain pieces of meat, it
actually becomes like a fabric and you can use this
close to and uh. Not only is it used for sores,
bed or otherwise, but ingested through the angus again actually
makes like a breadlight consistency which can be shared. Can
you start? Don't even tell if he's acting. It's so naturalistic,
(36:57):
it's amazing, you know what. I have a crush on Warren,
but he's like Warren, he's a genius. You know, the
last man I hadn't fair with. We know so what
you can't stop telling us about it? Oh my god,
I think I booked it. I thank you. Wow, this
(37:23):
is crazy. I can't even get to work with all
young people. Oh, you're so relaxed already. Yeah, I've been
doing enough things, like I have you to take the
good stuff? Are you still here in the I don't
think you should count in your chickens before they've hatched,
because I haven't auditioned yet. You're going to audition. I've
been waiting here to audition. I'm that's all the time
(37:44):
we'll have for the rest of you. Please sign up
again tomorrow if you're interested. But I've I've been sorry.
What was that I've been here for? You had something
to say to your monolucke? Now? Oh, I shall not pass.
There are time when Hobbits want to cross bridges, and
there are times when hobbits should stay. You understand, I'm
(38:07):
gonna get the tune of fish. Fine, fantastic, Just give
me one more try. I'll do the contemporary. Peace have
mine with that bread you sid struck down upon we
guys come back, or and you taste like tobacco. Yeah,
I rub it on my body to distress. You know,
(38:27):
my first two wives they worked on tobacco farms. Yeah.
I had an affair with him mine, So I guess
I'm pretty interesting. He couldn't see, really could but he
made other people say you know. Yeah, alright, well, ladies
and gentlemen, welcome to opening night of It's a darn shame.
(38:52):
It's a darn shame. Shut up, I am saying. No,
you've built. I know I just built. The day will come.
Please stop, my god. Everybody use your special skills, the
cruel worl We have special skills too, No we don't.
(39:16):
Only you can see us. Doesn't matter. We're nothing. We're nothing.
Is the true or nothing? They don't want to say
it's true, but it feels right. Look before you open
this curtain You're gonna have to solve this clue. What
is it? Oh? The worst and the best sexually? At
(39:37):
seventy three. Our last scene today comes from an anonymous
listener who suggests that greetings can miss as I have
enjoyed the alchemy chaos. I was driving by a local
doggy daycare, thus inspiration set scene a midsize city dog
daycare counter attendant the heat enter, big city, wealthy woman
(40:02):
with an exotic animals such as an emu, insisting that
where she is from they accept all breeds of creature.
Following her are other people from say reality shows with animals,
such as a bayou swamper with an alligator know it
and with the duck no it? Yes? I could continue,
but you get the okay? Alchemist, Yes and not signed.
(40:27):
It's a bird. This is a dark kennel. If this
is a bird, it's not going to last a day
in this kennel. It will last several days. He's a fighter,
aren't you our truth? Oh? Come here, give him mommy
a tongue. Okay, Well, here's the thing is, I'm not prepared.
What's your name? Where's your name? Tag? Why don't you
(40:47):
have a name? The hean it's my last name. The
last name is the her hein. I mean it's you
don't have to insult me. I'm going to be taking
care of your precious bird. Do you want you for
admitting it? Allegra Dunburrow. I've already made the reservation. I
just didn't realize when it was filled out that it
(41:07):
was a bird. I'm gonna have to get a special
kind of I don't know how to feed a bird.
I don't know how. This attitude is not serving anyone.
This is problematic. I have to go. I am needed places. Wait,
can you feed it after midnight? Or is it going
to turn into It's not a gremlin, Miss Dunburrows are
a problem. There is a problem. Thank you for coming
back again, Thank you for existing. Oh is that the hean?
(41:32):
The he Oh this isn't Charlie. Charlie pass yes, brought
the talking one. This is a new friend. Beauty, beauty, beauty.
She's gorgeous. Thank you, and I am having a little
trouble with the hean. I'm sure you'll alleviate the problems. Well,
(41:54):
I guess I until now, I've never seen us take
anything except dogs, because we take everything, really all of
god creatures. All of God's creatures were religious. Well, me
and my bird, then we will take this bird. And
what their name? Again? Well? He has many names? Which
one should we write down? Corpet? Corpett, corpet. I'll let
(42:16):
him choose. Come on, Kyle, Hi, what do I sign in? Um?
You can sign it with me, terrific. I don't want
to stay here, he's I'm leaving my side. Can There's
no way we can take a child. We're a kennel.
I'm sorry, I just I'm sorry. You have a business trip.
You probably don't know much about business, but I do. Well,
(42:36):
it's just like, honestly, the supervision. Can't I stay with dad?
Do you like doggies? They're fine? Do you like birdies?
I don't know. Okay, it's gonna be fine. How old
is Kyle, Kyle? How old are you? No? I can't
see that. Like there's it needs constant supervisions. Where the
human being needs constant supervision, needs constant supervision. He doesn't.
(42:57):
He's fine. I'm fine being referred to as it. I
really like, I really don't think it's appropriate. Showed me
back back. He has pop tarts in there. That's a
nice backpack with all of ours, thank and h Cantigo
container of coffee. Well with you. I see you're probably
too young to drink coffee. I'm gonna have to just
(43:18):
got a problem. Yes, we got the dog kennels. Okay,
hold on, hold on, girl, girl, we got we have
a new person, new Kyle. Great. I'm leaving him here
with okay, um, I don't know when I'll be back.
(43:44):
Here's my cell phone number. Here's seven hundred dollars in cash. Okay,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Hold on one second, give me
a kiss. Okay, I'm fine. Just okay, he's embarrassed. Can
you take Kyle with you and wrangle these dogs with me?
(44:06):
Going on with what's going on? Well? There on each other?
That's not good. The big ones are winning, as you
would guess. That's the most You're not supposed to have
the big ones and the little ones together. I didn't
I didn't do it. You didn't do it. Okay, Well,
(44:28):
you're in charge of the locks and the keys. Can uh, Kyle,
please get off of that move that is that bird?
Cannot you can't be That's not a bearing way et
ll I focus on what's going on with the dogs.
This is not my fault. I am front. The dogs
(44:49):
are killing in each other. Okay, I see that. I
can't get in between those dogs fighting. I'm gonna get
torn to shreds. Hey the yes, k how do you
get your own nicknames? Started like that? It's not a nickname.
He just had a Brandon all his name died. All
of us put our room names on there is he
requested Dan. It's my last nickname. Everybody knows that. Thank you.
(45:13):
What's your name? Ethn? Kyle look likely to me. I
wouldn't mind being called Ethan on your knime nickname the
name Taxa for employees only. There Now, Kyle is eleven
years old? Girl, how are we go say sixteen? Well,
(45:34):
we just got a new heart. Alright, Well, then you
get to show him around the place where that while
you're sopping up dog blood and the kennel. All right,
I guess I'll have to do what I have to do.
Come on, Nathan, let me show you how the faith
that a little berk cool on the roof room for
one place? Um, excuse me out of the check in,
(45:55):
you're you're this is I'm sorry, this is a dog kennel.
Very well, it's a donkey hotel. Hotel, it is nonetheless,
it's a it's high end. I would like to live
here for one week's time. Here's a briefcase. Money's inside
my husband. He's being dramatic. You call a man a
dog and he acts like a dog wolf. Well, here's
(46:19):
the thing is, if I take you and put you
into these cannels, you're going to be sleeping with dogs.
I told you it would never work. Um, that is
what we want to happen. And my wife happens to
sleep with a dog every night. Stop. We're playing a
little game, and in this chapter, my darling needs to
(46:40):
sleep with the dogs. In chapter two, we were shoving
heroin up our. He doesn't want to be bored with
the details, my hand reaching into his tight, tight assholere
sure you are making very disgusting were very well around.
(47:02):
Kick him up in a week and in that week,
I hope you've gotten him into submission for Oh, he
bait me. You have to kick this dog. I kick him,
kave me. I can't kick kick the kick alright, alright,
I'll kick him okay, So sorry, hello, oh hi hi,
(47:29):
I am almost wondering if I could get an animal
take home. No, we only take animals from other people
and of the Excuse me, I'm happy to see what
this journey takes me. I'm for so I want to
cut up an animal, I'm going to pay Wait wait, wait, wait,
I want to kick an animal. Want to point it
up and see what the insides are. Um, I'm gonna
(47:53):
go to the canal, Garl. That's not appropriate. Well those
in appropriate. Since I am all, I can show you
what's it's. It's a wawa right now, come with me.
Where's your name? Even? You're gonna love your new brother Raven.
Excuse me, I need to canel for tonight. Wait, there's
(48:15):
gonna be a full moon. I don't want to kill again.
My god, are you wearable? God? I don't want to
kill again. Listen, we have an actual special kennel for
people just like you, for liking thropes. For liking thropes.
I'm gonna have the accommodations. I mean, it's just bars,
and we change you neck first. You want to change me? Good? Well,
we were finding real strong. I can break out anywhere.
(48:37):
Trust me, Garl knows how to lock you up. So
affright of lock and throw from from the looks of it.
We probably got about an hour and a half before
he full bursts. Yeah, well that's enough time. The locks
I know. I'm just saying, let's put it there. Just
lock him in. God is gonna be a full moon
(48:58):
and night. Yeah, it's gonna be a full moon. But
that an hour and a half and you are not.
This is a dog kennel. That's a dog, the dog
that won the big death war. There was a death
war and the camel. Most of the dogs really go
at it. Little dogs lost this one part of me.
(49:18):
Who do I ring for room service? Uh? Well there's
no rings. There's no room service. You checked into a
dog kennel. Okay, I will have my supper in an
hour and a half at the full moon. Please, you're
gonna be getting a big pile of dog food in
a bowl. The speaking of yummy. Who's this young man? Well,
(49:38):
get him away from me. You should really step back.
Anytime someone tells me to step back, I take two
steps closer. Oh God, I know I'm gonna kill this guy.
We got minutes before. For God's sake, fancy a game
of chess? I do like chess. Great, let's go play
all right? Ex curiously, man, I don't mean to bother you,
(49:59):
but I believe my master checked into this place earlier
and I was looking for him. Please. Oh wow, we've
got an extensive list your master could he claims to
be aware of but of course he isn't because it's absurd.
I don't know what. I just need a couple of
words with him. Please. I know he's fly a chest
with the freak. Please take me to the chessboard. I
(50:22):
think they're just during a sort of makeshift chessboard because
as far as oh no, we don't have a chess
board the checkers board, and they can don't have the horse. Well,
I brought the horse. I have two horses in my bay. Okay,
I'll go to the rooftop where the pagans are about.
That's where they're doing a chest. Please show me to
be there's the stairs. I should go there myself. What
(50:50):
an interesting place? Three more steps? Count on because I
scare me when I'm going on, very well? Why and
thank you very much? And which way to find my master? I'
just look around for him. Oh my god, why are
you castling so quickly? It's my prerogative. I could do
(51:11):
whatever I wish. Yes, you can. But it's not a
good move. That's that's that's that's my strategy. Oh god,
what is that? Well, we are in a dog. I'm
assuming it's a dog. Who's that? Master? There you are.
I looked all over for you. I knew you must
have come to this place. Carl, Please come, Carl, what
(51:33):
are you doing? Please come with me right away. I've
got it. You gotta lock me up. I don't want
to kill again. Look at the time, it's an early
moon tonights. Carl, my live's Carl. How do you Carl?
But withzard three car No, no, no, they are on
the front. Get carlos them. It's officially a full move.
(51:59):
We have to get your everyone. It's wrong, big, big,
as much longer than normal. Yeah. So I just pretty
(52:19):
much just want to just drop off the cats for
a little bit. And this is the worst idea. I cannot.
I have accepted children, human beings, but for me to
bring this cat into this place right now, it's beyond it. Okay,
I don't care my light on the roof, CARLD. This
(52:41):
guy wants to bring cats that the creatures, the creatures,
there's crazy. The guy just turned into a werewolf and
knocked the chessboard over. True, he was mad. Then are
you eleven? Yeah, I'm staying here for the weekend. I
told you our child checked in. Okay, I'll guess I'll
(53:06):
just leave my cats up my mom's I guess. I
don't care what you do with your cats, but you
better care. Yeah, that's right, that's exactly right. It was perfect,
there were We've just broke into the reception area. Oh
(53:29):
and end of the madness. Let's thank our engineer Doug
Baine please, and our post sound engineer and design Raphael Britto,
our producer Sophie Lichtman. And lastly, I heart media. Of course,
I encourage you all to write a review, tell everyone
you've ever met, and write to us at your name
(53:50):
here at alchemy this dot com. Two episodes a week,
Tuesdays and Thursdays. We'd love to hear from you. Let's
go around and say thank you to everyone. But that's
a ragland Venis, thank you so much, thank you, but
n it's always the joy, oh man, Craig Atkowski, Hey,
that what a pleasure. Couldn't here the heat? That's me
I got like plugged into that last scene. That's almost advertisement.
(54:14):
We've heard enough from the game. Well, I mean you
could get more at brief Perfect Christopher Rodo Brief News
brief dot com. Nice pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, pleasure always. All Right,
that's it for today, Until next time, U
Alchemy This News
Host
Kevin Pollak
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