Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of my
favorite podcast, Alchemy. This I am your guest host, Chris Alvarado.
I am sitting in for Kevin Pollock. Yes, that Kevin Pollock.
It's hard to sit in his seat, you know, it's
hard to take over this position. But he's trusting me
with it, and I am so happy to the Tool.
(00:26):
I I messed up that word. Now now I'm flailing
in the intro. Everybody, We're going down, but I'm gonna.
I'm gonna pull this plane up and we are back.
We are back. It's not just me. You heard me
say a tool's name. I'm joined by other Alchemists. So
let's say hello to them, in no particular order. We're
gonna start with James Heeney. Hi, James, Hi, I got
(00:48):
a little scared there. I gotta hello. No, no, no,
You're good. You're good. You're good, James, James, I have
a question for you. Okay, do you have a good
relationship with your primary physician? No? No, I I had
not been to the doctor in almost twenty years, and
I might my primary care physician in January. We've had
(01:10):
a great like forty five minutes together and all my
things came back great, luckily, except I have to stop
eating hashbrows as much and now I eat oatmeal. But
I love it, you know, it's great. Wow, Well, well
are you gonna are you going to develop this relationship?
Are you gonna keep going back around? I was supposed
to schedule another another one in March, and well it's
(01:31):
thet and it didn't happen. So but once I got
all those numbers back and it was so good, I
was like, well, I can go another twenty years. I
don't think that's how it works. Um, well, you heard
her chiming in, so let's say hello to her. Everybody
makes a noise for Jackie der Ruthy. I'm so sorry.
(01:51):
I'm nervous in the chest now, James, I'm nervous in
the chest. I am all about preventative care, and um,
you should be seeing a doctor once a year. It
is free to just do the preventative wellness situation stuff.
You should be seeing a dermatologist. You're a fair man.
You should be. I mean, there are things so I'm
(02:13):
getting I'm a little heated. I'm a little nervous in
the chest, to be honest, after hearing that well, once
I started eating oatmeal, the nervousness in my chest went away.
I don't think. I don't think the oatmeal was a cure. Girl.
But Jackie, you said you're getting heated, right, and it's
no it's no secret that you are a fan of
(02:34):
the Miami Heat. That's right. My question for you, though,
is are you actually good at playing basketball? If you
actually ball or you are you just a fan? To
tell you I've never balled in my life would be
the truth. I never played. I was, I'm not. I mean, yeah,
I'm not athletic. Maybe I'm athletic, but I'm not a
(02:56):
contact sport girl. I just never kind of did it.
I was a leader and then uh, which is its
own sport and its own right. And then I did
like theater and danced, which is also athletic in its
own right. But I never dabbled. I had asthma. And
running and I are not friends. Though dancing and I
(03:20):
are friends. There's something also when I run, I get
I've tried it a couple of times, and I get
full body hives. Uh, my body is not used to
a circulation, and I get so itchy, like I am.
I'm in so much pain. I ran with my husband
Pat before once and he was like, never again, Jackie,
(03:41):
like this is so embarrassing, and I was like, but
I'm so like look at me, like it's not just
that I'm saying I'm itchy, Like you can see how
red my body is, and like also like the parts
that get red first, like the jigliat parts. And so
he's like, pull your shorts down, like stop showing me
your ass, Like, but look, how I just I haven't
(04:03):
spent a lot of time with you. I guess I
don't know. I haven't. I've spent more time with you
online than I have in person. I just can't imagine
these giggly parts of you. You know, everyone has, everybody,
you know, that's the thing. Everybody has jiggly parts. And
you can be a petite, a sweet, petite princess like
me and still have jiggli jiggli situations. I will not
(04:26):
take up all of this time, but it's a natural
part of the body. Yes, yes, I did, and tell
you how to preventative care situation search we couldn't find
any I do. I love I love watching basketball and
I really want to play, but my feet have been
(04:47):
sucked up for two years, and so that is my
main goal is like, once I get my feet back
to a hundred, I want to start playing basketball. But
when I say that, I'm like, no, I want to
shoot around. I don't want to. Can you imagine how
cute would be if you and Craig were just met
up met up on Tuesday mornings to shoot around for
a couple of hours. That would be so cute. I
would love and it would make sense because we lived
(05:07):
at each other. Speaking of which, ladies and gentlemen makes
the noise for Craig Ktkowski. Craig, when's the last time
you got good and drunk, like a real nice one,
you know, one of those like whoa, it's been a minute,
it's within the last month, so it's it is. Yeah,
(05:30):
So it's probably not like an amusing anecdote. It's more
like cry for help. No. I probably at most will
drink one or two nights a week, you know, and
usually you know, one and done. Um. But I think
there's something about the pandemic and the lack of social
(05:51):
opportunities that when we do have a social opportunity, I
tend to go a little overboard. So just getting together
with some friends from the neighborhood, and like the wine
kept comment and nobody was saying no. And you know
it's it's a two it's a two minute drive home,
(06:15):
you know. Uh so, like the conditions were right, yeah,
but I uh yeah, I I felt it the next day. Okay, regrets, no,
And that's why you can drink. Drink. That's why I
had to stop, because the next day it was all
regrets for a full week. Okay, here we go movie
(06:37):
speaking of a man who probably has no regrets. Let's
make some noise for a tool saying everybody, you just
got back from a long flight, just flew in last night,
and now you are here available for us, and we
appreciate that, we appreciate your time. There's my question for you,
a tool. And I'm really just you're so fascinating. You know,
(06:58):
my my dad met you at my wedding and he
was a huge fan of yours. Everybody who meets you
is such a huge fan of yours. That's true across
the board. I'm wondering for yourself, do you allow yourself
time to stop and smell the roses? Do you take
time for a tool? I do? I think so? I
think that's that's important for for a tool or anything small.
(07:21):
I don't know. Before before I lived India, my dad
has has this like a minivan type car. And I
made a point to be like, hey, thanks for getting
that car because it was we're in traffic quite a
bit in India and it's nice to be in a
big car. And it was just like I was like,
I gotta appreciate that having that car makes the traffic
(07:42):
so bearable. And yeah, I was just like, I just
gotta go say thanks. You know, I've been complaining about
a lot of stuff, so I was like, hey, I
just wanna say that decision you made eight years ago
to buy that car brilliant. So but yes, yes, and
I am Facebook friends with my doctor James. Okay, I
(08:03):
mean sho, I feel like this could be the whole show,
but I guess people, I was just thinking, what is
there a podcast that's just welcoming people and then you
wrap it up like this is great, This is great.
I need to mention that we are joined in Zoom Studio.
I'm doing the quotations in studio by two alchemists. Today
we have Paul Hetton and Mike del Rosso, which is
(08:24):
really exciting for us um As you know, if you
are an alchemaniac, if you support us at that level,
you will have the opportunity may have the opportunity to
join us in zoom see what we look like as
Jackie de Ruthie. Any question do you want before we
get started? It is a fun time for everybody. And
as you all know, today's seeing suggestions come from listeners
(08:44):
emails and if you want some priority in the in
the suggestion situation, if you want us to select yours,
you know a little sooner, will then consider becoming a
Patreon v I P. You'll get exclusive content, including bonus scenes.
You get to hang out with us like we Just
a lot is going on at Patreon dot com, slash
Alchemy this or and this is totally fine. If you
(09:07):
want to submit a suggestion the old time away via email,
we love those We love those two. Please shoot us
an email at Alchemy this email at gmail dot com.
That's alchemail dot com. All right. See one comes to
us from listener Rebecca Schaefer. Hi, guys, thank you so
very much for continuing to provide such high quality nonsense.
(09:30):
It really is the finest. I just got back from
a trip to Chicago and of course had to go
to a Cubs game, which inspired my scene suggestion hot
dog guy versus beer guy. Thanks for the last Beck's
from Montana. Hot Dogs get your hat, dogs code beer
(09:54):
code beer at dogs two for six dollars. You can't
beat that deal. Dogs dogs cold beer too for five dollars?
Could you stop shouting? Hey, let's going on, Jerry. I'm
trying to sell some hot dogs and I think that
people are getting confused and they keeping you shout over me. Well, Jerry,
(10:19):
were the whole stadium? Sure, sure, but this is my section.
You say that people can't have hot dogs and beer
cold beer? It please stop it. I'm telling you, like,
can I get a hot dog? Uh? Trying to watch
(10:43):
the game here? Yes? My issues can't be your issues. Yes? Wait,
what are your issues? It's the it's the bun of
it all. I don't and I don't like the shape
of it. It freaks me out. Then there's the goop
inside condiments freaked me out, scare me. That's my issues.
I don't want them to be your issues. Let's get
you a hot dog. Dad's watching the game. Should we
(11:06):
get him a hot dog? Let's get him a hot dog.
Let's get him a hot dog. Sure, let's get him down.
Oh my gosh, we are not at home. This is embarrassing.
And if you keep doing this to me, I'm gonna
I'm trying to raise a family. You know how expensive
it is for an apartment in Chicago. Uh No, I
I own you. You come in, you come in from
(11:27):
the suburbs, and I live on wavelength. Right, I live
on wavelength. It's expensive. You might catch a home run
ball if I'm lucky, but most often I just catch
a broken window. JA, maybe you need a code beer? Mom?
Do you think I could try a beer? Okay, now
you're pushing the buttons. Now you you said your issues
(11:48):
are my issues. That's not an issue. That's legal. You
have alcohol issues. I don't have alcohol issues. What are
you trying to say? Every weekend you think I've got
an alcohol issue? You think every weekend? How you change?
I get a little different, a little loose, like a
little dancy. I get a little fun. What's the problem
with that? You're not twenty one. You're not getting a beer.
If you don't mind me interrupting, I might say that
(12:10):
your alcohol issue is that you don't have a cold beer.
And this is definitely not a This is not a
beer group right here are you? This is a mom
andous son. You're looking for a goopie. Do not yell.
I know this is I know what's your job, but
to not yell in my facility. My husband will freak out.
He is watching this guy's with you. It looks like
(12:33):
it at all. I know. I'll take one hot dog please,
right This one's extra goopie just for you. There you go, Jerry,
you gotta say, and my mom will have one of
those cold ones. Am I up to bat next? Or
(12:59):
the running? Just kind of the rudding order, the batting order.
I used to do theater in high school, and I
guess you're always kind of confused. Yeah, we know, Jenkins,
you always that was Puck. I shouldn't have to say
in Midsummer's Night, that's Shakespeare. Um. But I switched to
(13:19):
baseball because my father. Yeah, your ninth, your ninth in
the coach? Are we talking? Are we talking previous theater experience?
I was also in Midsummer Are you looking at Nick Bottom?
At your service? I played Nick Bottom, the weaver, He
turns into the donkey, Okay, don't be so proud. Well
you just struck out, Okay, yeah, no, I felt bad
(13:43):
about that. I overheard we're talking about our coach, coach
before I go in. Do you want me to hit it?
You know, like I usually do? Or like we tried
the other day in rehearsal, rehear sorry practice, Sorry sorry.
I used to do theater screen. Was a minor faery role,
but it was still my role, a bit of a
(14:04):
dance break. Okay, look, everybody gets cast in mid summer.
I'd stream okay, like it's it's an easy Shakespeare play
to do for high school and there's a lot of
characters in it's you know what, what plays? Did you
ever do? I did Corey Elanus? Oh, flashback to coaching
(14:29):
Corey Elanus? Who whoa Corey that? Verily? I'd be Corey
Corey oh Lanus' back. We made some changes to the
to the script and it was more he was more
(14:51):
irish than Roman. Oh Roman, I played Caesar. Um, yeah, okay,
look we need somebody at the plate right now. Okay, yeah,
why don't we Why are we fighting this this situation
(15:11):
we have going on here? Why are we fighting this
theater mapping over this ballgame. Why don't we just combine them, Coach, director,
if I can call you that, don't call me that. Okay,
all right, okay, okay, But but how how how do
we combine these two passions of yours? Well? Maybe for starters.
You know, I do a little better when I'm a
little ease back on the plate, So maybe I should
(15:33):
be standing a bit upstage, you know, in terms of
me at home plate situation. Look, whatever helps you get
a hit, if you want to call it upstage, down stage,
And coach, I was thinking lately, when I've been batting,
I've been kind of playing to the guys in front
of me. Maybe I should play to the back of
the house. Maybe I might hit some more home runs
than project really projecting. Well, yeah, because you've been bunting
(15:55):
every time, right, and non bunt situations, right, Okay, a
home run would be nice if you want to call
that playing to h the crowd in the back. Sure, sure,
project project the ball all the way out of the
fucking park. Uh, Security Security, Hi, I'm hot, thought guy,
(16:20):
um and I and I want to keep this between
you and me, but I'd like to report, uh, you
know ed the beer guy. He just he just sold
a beer to an underage person, and I would hate
to see the whole stadium get shut down, you know,
so you might want to take his license and kick
him out of here. I'll tell you, I've been doing
(16:41):
this job for a long time. One thing, there's one
thing that I hate, uh huh, and that's a rat
of what somebody who tattle tales. But but but I'm
just trying to make a same thing. It's clearly not
he sold a beard to somebody for a mom, quote unquote,
but it was clearly for the kids. Come on, so
(17:02):
if you were in the mob and somebody committed a murder,
you would go and tell somebody is this is this
a trick question? Like they do in interviews for chops,
I wouldn't join the mob. What kind of interviews are
you going on? Family business? Slinging dogs, slinging goopy dogs
at at the Cup is a family business. Yeah, my
(17:23):
dad sold goopy dogs. I sell goopy dogs, and if
I have kids one day, it's going to continue in
the family tradition of two to three. Well, hey there, Jackey,
what's going on here? What are you guys talking about?
It's just the game. Oh god, we're talking about how
he kept doing this year. Well, they're in last place
(17:45):
like usual, but they stopped bunting for once, which is nice.
We're just talking. We're just talking about his intergenerational family
of hot dogs on. Yeah. Well, I come from a
long line of biggers. You can't imagine what it's like
in your household. Well, you know, my father started serving
(18:09):
beer eighty years ago and earned enough money to buy
a nice house in the suburbs. I don't have to
do this. I don't even take a salary. I just
love serving copy. Jeez, Mom, you're gonna have to talk
(18:33):
a little out. I mean we are at the game.
Dad hasn't even looked over at us. Yeah, he's in
the zone. You know when he watches sports, he's got
his blinders on. He's just looking forward. He's in the zone. Honey.
I know. I'm not sure if you're noticing, but oh
my god, this team, this team is playing completely different today.
(18:54):
Belt in the balls, way out of the park. Something's changed.
I love it all right, and you having it okay? Good?
And I love you Dad, So that works out great.
Don't just keep it down, don't you're pushing it. You
aren't pushing it, Mark, can I get one ship? You're
pushing it again. You're really pushing it today, really pushing
(19:16):
it to batting Herb Kowalski first base, sag equity after.
I think, wow, he's doing like a little Charleston on
that plate. To prepare himself. Look at that, you see
to take a little take a page out of these
(19:37):
players books and change it up. Change it up for yourself,
because this you comporting yourself at these games. We don't
stop coming, you don't stop misbehaving, and I can't blame
myself as the mother. I won't do it. I won't
(19:57):
take any you know, must bill, We'll take it, you know. Uh, honey, honey,
what what are you talking about? Oh? Now you're in
the family. Oh now you're in the family. Just wanted
to check in. How is everything going with that cold bear?
I gave your son? You're the one who gave my
(20:20):
son cold. I got it for you. I got it
for you. And now obviously you've had a few SIPs
because you're really wilding out. Now, all right, everybody, the
cats out of the bag. I'm loose as a goose.
I'm loose as a Goose. Last game, my son punched
me in the face, so you can't imagine that this game,
I want to real admit a little bit. I want
(20:40):
him to be a little more comportant. And you're over here,
look out that ball. That ball broke the fourth wall.
And here we are at the top of the fourth inning,
and once again always joined with my partner Steven Franklin,
and what the Cubs are really at the bottom this year.
(21:02):
But what do you think that's gonna be something that's
gonna help them turn it around? Steve? Well, I think
the one thing that would if I was going to
be out on the field and I was playing baseball,
I try to make sure that every time a ball
came at me, I knocked at the hill out of
the park. Good strategy, Steve. Steve's always that's that's what
(21:23):
I do when I play baseball, or when I did
when I was a professional baseball player. But you know, yeah,
our careers don't last that long. Excuse to me. And
I'm sir Ian McKellen and was asked to provide play
by play, if you will, a commentary on today's game.
Sure there's the mic right there, going pick that up
and put on the home Great. Great, I don't need
(21:46):
to be amplified, sir, as I project from my dietphram. Alright, great, Surrey,
and it's a pleasured to have you. Ley, gentlemen, were
joined by Surrey and come into us a live from
here in studio. And why don't you take this next
pitch coming up? Big black Bucks, bleed blue blood. That
(22:07):
fastball shut up pass because he hit it. He hit it,
it didn't pass. It didn't pass him. Oh, the Cubs
are really starting to turn around, sir. And it was
absolutely correct. And uh, well, the home runs going on
where I want to say that we're brought to you
(22:27):
by Subway. Subway Eating Fresh is new and we have
no more sponsors. So welcome back Subway Eat Fresh coach, coach.
Should we do an encore? They're they're cheering for us,
not the game's over. We won. You don't do an encore.
(22:48):
You can go out and bow to the crowd. I
guess we'll do. We'll do certainly, also do a cool down, right,
because we don't want any kind of fatigued lyre on.
We want to cool it down, face right, whatever you
need for somehow it worked today. Okay, guys, coach, do
we have a u A Wednesday matinee? I mean a
double header tomorrow. Don't call the matinees? All right, Yes,
(23:09):
we do have a doubleheader, so gets so get some rest, guys,
and protect your your throat with some some tea and honey. Okay,
because vocal fatigue is a real thing. And I don't
even know why I'm saying this. I'm both sucked into
this theater thing, coach, Coach, would would you agree? Oh? Please? Uh,
you're the bigger lead. You go first. I was just
(23:32):
gonna say, would you agree that the scene? The scene's
almost over because everyone's leaving the stands and stuff. What
do you mean? Seen? This is my life up here
and see what does that? What does that mean? Okay,
(23:55):
let us go on to our second scene. He comes
to us from listener Anny Tanner. No, yeah, he has
every time. Oh my god, it's a good name. Danny
Tanner says, hello, alchemist. The scene suggestion is for everyone's
favorite baby boy, Chris. Yeah. The suggestion is surfs up
(24:19):
dude from Danny in Saskatchewan. Oh man, those waves are crushed, Chan,
I'm gonna get out there. I can't wait, all right,
just gonna be be by myself all up. Oh hey
you you you're going out to the waves over there? Yeah? Man, uh,
(24:41):
you know what, there's nobody's super today, right, I'm sorry,
what did you say? I said, you notice there's nobody's
surfing out there today, right, No, it's just gonna be
me in the ocean. There's a shark out there. There's
just shark out There was a lot of rain, and
the rain brought a lot of debris, and the sharks
are eating up the debris like they're hungry, hungry hippos.
You gotta be careful. I go up north if I
were you. I'm sorry you said that the rain brought
(25:03):
in a lot of debris, and the debris brought in
a lot of sharks. I don't know if you know
how this works, but a lot of the like debris
on the streets came out into the water, and of
course it's like hamburger bones and stuff like that out
in the ocean. Sharks come in gobble it up, and
when they're done, if they eat at all, they're gonna
get surfers. So what I'd say is go up north,
and there's no no sharks up there. No debris up there,
(25:25):
don't don't They're all the sharks are coming right down here.
I'm trying trying and tell you look around, you see
any of the surfers, Hey, Steph, I wouldn't go out
there if I were you. It looks pretty sharky today. Yeah,
but I'm totally one with the sharks. Not I know,
I know, And I think that's the conversation we need
to have. Hey, Sky, come in here. When I went
(25:45):
into that sound bath, I became one with the sharks,
and they guaranteed me that within that uh, within that,
don't Sky? Hey, what's going on? Guys? I'm talking to
her about the shark situation and then maybe she shouldn't
go on today because of the sharks. Yeah, a lot
of sharks. But but what are you doing? Sky? But
(26:09):
you know, I gotta say, like if you can you know,
catch a sweet wave, you know, uh like narrowly avoiding
uh shark, then I mean then you're the ultimate. Then
you're the ultimate, you know, So I gotta put that
out there. You know, sharks aren't here to eat me. Sharks,
(26:30):
you know, yes, like the way that they figured things
out is with their mouth. But then once they're gonna
taste like unless they've gone rogue and their rogue sharks
who've gotten like, you know, a bit of like a
flavor for the humans. Like they're not going to you
know what I mean, Like they're not They're gonna take
an exploratory bite, an exploratory by, and it kind of
depends on where the explorat ray bite comes from. It's
(26:51):
like whether you're but Steff, remember the last time we
were out there and you've got that huge barrel, you
got so painted, right, and you were like that right,
absolutely right. Well, I'm gonna be honest, I got scared.
I thought maybe I wasn't gonna see my little gram anymore. Greg,
are you trying to tell me something? Because if it's
about the sharks, it's about the sharks. But if it's
(27:13):
about you wanting to get with this, then that's a
whole another conversation that we need to have. Bow maybe
at eight o'clock Saturday night. I am free. I love
their garlic, not I would go fucking eight for that,
oh man, garlic not to look at Look out the window.
(27:34):
Look there's one surfer out there. I don't recognize hithing.
He's not local. A nube. What are you trying to
distract me from? Like me and you're getting together? I
don't know you just I just tossed that like, yeah,
remind me of that one time I got that a footer.
Remind me bro the second guys, the nube is surrounded
(27:59):
by finn and what it? All right? We got him surrounded.
That's uh, who's gonna take the first bite? I want
to exploratory bite on him. Well, you're a newbie. You
should wait till talk him. Grandpa should go first. Grandpa's
the oldest. To your grandpa, what do you what is? Grandpa? Well, uh,
(28:22):
I don't think these old teeth can handle anything other
than stale hamburger. But no, no, Grandpa, you still got
You saw your doctor this year. You're in great shape.
All right? What if? What if I chewing up in
baby bird? It to your grandpa? Alright, grows gross gross.
It's at least do me the honor of letting me
(28:46):
have an exploratory bite. Yeah, that makes sense. Grandpa goes first. Alright,
Grandpa goes. If he surfed back around, Grandpa goes first.
We all agree. Hey, dude, dude, put your feet up
on your board. Don't let him dangle down there. My
feet are dangling, dude, you don't do that. Put your
(29:08):
feet on the board. I already warned him not to
go out there. I don't know what the hell he's
doing out there. Who's up, Lifeguard, Luke? You three know
I'm about to go out there, right, You're not gonna
go out there and join them. I'm only gonna go
I'm not going out there. But as Steph goes out there,
you know I got to go out there. She's got
my heart on my leash, my leash with its barring
my leash. What and if they both go out there,
(29:33):
then it's probably covered and Sky doesn't have to Sky won't.
Sky won't, Skuy won't. But but right now it looks
like all those all those sharks are circling that guy
out there. Well, I've warned New Bruni, I'm not going
out there, and I'm not gonna help him. He should
have known, he should have gone north, but he didn't.
Isn't it your job? Isn't your job to help serve
and protect? Look at all those fins. You think I
(29:53):
want to go out there and get bit bro bro,
get one with the shark, Get off your board, circle
it yourself takes to the left, fence to the right. Wow, yeah,
all right, I'm gonna get off my board alright, shark,
(30:14):
So it's uh, we're gonna let grandpa go first. What
the hell he's just he's getting in here. Wait? Wait,
are we sure this guy, this thing is not half shark?
Oh he's swimming with us. Now, maybe he's half shart. Grandpa.
Do you recognize him? Yeah, he looks familiar. Alright, so
(30:35):
maybe he's shark. Maybe he's look but don't don't ask me.
When's the last It's more about smell and taste anyway
with shark. That's right, that's right, we know that. Well.
I lost my sense of smell and taste a couple
(30:55):
of days ago. I don't know if I'll be able
to do it. You lost your smell and taste? Uh? Yeah,
well you're sick, dude. You got comment covid shark, stay
at home covid sharks. But I wanted to go to school, Steff, stuff,
where are you going? I have to get in there.
(31:18):
He's flailing, he's absolutely flailing. I don't want to I
don't want to keep you from doing what your heart
is telling you you need to do well. I'm not
coming out there to we know, we know, Luke, we
don't made it very clear. I don't want you to
come made it very clear. I really don't want that. Greg.
(31:41):
I'm going out there and I'm making you a solid promise.
I am coming back and we're gonna go to Buccanepo
and fill our taste buttons. The water's cold, the water's cold.
All right, you better get going stuff, We better get going, okay,
but we're gonna have that garl it. Go get him broa. Okay, wait, Greg,
(32:02):
I feel like there's been like a turd. I feel
like now you're bra and like it's like like fuel
the water, you know, like and like you'll see the shark.
So that's it. Just go get him, getting gut him.
But I just want to nail down this date first
and like make sure we have that in the books
for me to look forward to, because you know how
(32:24):
they say like like surgery patients need to have hope exactly.
I just came guys, I just came back from book
and a Beppo and you weren't kidding about these garlic knots.
They're insane. That's what I'm saying, Gregg. Yeah, so Saturday
night a PM. That's when I'm pree. That's like a
perfect date. Not he's going under you better get in
(32:44):
there stuff. Yeah, I just want to Oh you, old shark.
Do you recognize me? Grandpa? Is he talking to you? Yeah, yes,
old shark. Do you understand me? Yes? I do. Touch
your nose to my nose? What the hell is this
(33:07):
guy doing? Right? Am I holding my breath along? Oh?
I'm part shark, aren't I? I think you are? You are.
I'm finally with my people. Stay away from him. He's sick.
(33:29):
This guy's got COVID. You're supposed to stay home. He's
got COVID. It's just garbage. It's just garbage. And my gills, Steph,
you came back. Was that guy dead or what? He's
super dead? Turns out he's very very dead. But his
his corpse have a smile on its face, and I
(33:49):
think he went to a better place, you know. Yeah,
So I let him out. I left him out there
because yeah, you know, what goes around goes around to
the ground, and he composition. I gotta get back to sure. Yeah,
let's just um, let's just nail down a PM. Guys, guys,
(34:11):
you gotta help me with this chicken parm because the
portions are ridiculous and I definitely want to go there
and try things for sure. Like the portions are almost
a split, right, like they like a perfect family size family.
And welcome to Bucca to peppose. My name is Charles
(34:32):
and I'll be taking care of you. How many of
you in your party? How many? How many? How many
do we have? Guys? I think I think there's six
in our school and that okay, see three comes to
(34:53):
us from Alchemy v I p. Nathaniel Jacobs. Daniel says, Hey, Alchemist,
you've got the best comedy podcast, if not the best
podcast period. Thank you for being the high point of
my entertainment every week. And I want to say how
honored I am for you to read my message during
the triumphant, long awaited permanent return of Vanessa. I can
(35:17):
fantasize right. I became a patroon a few months ago,
and I strongly encourage everyone else who enjoys alchemy this
even a little bit to do the same. Honestly, there
is no better way to spend money on entertainment. For
just a few dollars you get hours and hours of
extra alchemy. This, by the way, this is what he's
really saying, not this is he's saying this hours and
hours of alchemy. This It was the best five dollars
(35:39):
I ever spent as for my scene suggestion. And I
carefully listen every time Chris says you wear this ahead
of time, right, Kevin, And I think I got a
pretty good sense of what to avoid. Will see the
suggestion Indigo sincerely, and please never stop. Not no, that's
(35:59):
that's the that's a purple. I think it's more of
a more of an indigo. I mean, you're the paint guy.
I guess you'll know. Did you want me to mix
it up for you guys? Or do you want to
check out some other palettes? Do you have something between
(36:23):
between between purple and indigo, like something on the spectrum?
Because I know it's roy g BIV and the eye
is right there next to the v. Uh, So where
where does purple fall between indigo and violent? It's hard
because the eyes also right next to the bright for blue, right,
(36:46):
so we know, right? Um, you know, I mean not personally,
but yeah, because he's not real, you're not kind of
did you guys say, you know you know Roy g
Are you friends of Roy giv? I mean we're familiar
(37:06):
with his work. Oh so you're not affiliated with this society? Okay,
never mind anxiety? What was that about? Um? I think
that bear actually has a strip that might be really interesting.
Were you guys? What? What? What society? I'm right now,
I'm a member of the Worlster Club, the Beverly Club,
(37:28):
the Soho Club. But I'm not in whatever this is.
He comes from money, don't don't start with That's not
my fault. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm not gonna apologize. No, No,
I want to be in that club Perry Winkle. People
really love Perry Winkle. People who like who are in
that Violet Indigo situation. I mean, I don't know Perry
(37:49):
Winkle personally, but I was invited to to Pee Diddy's
White Party six years in a row. I'm in the
A list groups wherever they are. I want to find
out what that clubs. That's all right. And now you're
painting houses, that's cool, that's cool. Do it, do it.
I don't give the money. Hey, Rick, how's uh? How
are things going over here? And plumbing it's pretty shitty.
(38:13):
You know hey, um, you know, um, you know how
you've been wondering why some of us go to happy
hour but you can never find the bar. Yeah, well yeah,
(38:34):
I think I think we might just give you the
address tonight, My fucking god, hold on one second, let
me get my notebook out. No no, no, no, no, no,
no no no no hold on. Okay, okay, two things here, Rick.
One you can't write anything down, and two, you can't
say anything to anybody. I didn't say anything yet. I
just told my wife. It was gonna see. You can't.
(38:57):
If you tell your wife anymore, we're gonna have to
either kill her or are you you killer? I don't care, Okay,
I want to come and hang out with the boys.
I didn't work at a I didn't work at a
home building place to hang out by myself drink alone
at a bar because I thought you were going to
down unders and nobody's there. We told you. I think
we told you down on Honors one time. Yeah you did, Yes,
(39:20):
you godd have did all right. We had to know that,
you had to know that you were good. I'm really good.
Where name? Please? Are you on the list? I'm Rick, Rick, Rick,
And do you need the full name Rick Prentice, Rick Prentiss,
(39:43):
Rick Prentiss, Rick Prentiss, Rick Prentiss. It's possible that I
don't know that they know my last name, so I
just start with Rick. Thet What what's the past word,
Rick Prentiss? Password? The past? Is it? Friendship? Is friendship
(40:07):
from work? Is it? It's I can tell you the
password is not friendship from work? Just try friendship? Just
try friendship. What do you mean, just try it? I
mean this is the place they told me to go.
My name's Rick, him on the list. I'm sorry, Rick Prentice.
(40:27):
If you don't know the password, you cannot be admitted
to the society tonight. Rick, we missed you last night. Man.
We had a good time. We had a good time, man,
a really good time. You forgot to mention the password.
I gotta get back to work. No no, no, no,
no, no no no no. Here's who's making pains today, like
gold me. No, you didn't give me the password. That
(40:50):
was on purpose. You made me look like an idiot.
I cried in front of a man last night. Hey,
at least you know, at least you know that you
know things are happening. That didn't even look like a bar.
It wasn't people, wasn't. Yeah, we wear hoods and robes
and cloaks. We call them cloaks. Okay, some of us here,
(41:11):
some of them is here, have proven that we can
show up and get rejected and be okay and hopefully
next time they get the password. Okay, sorry, how's your wife?
She's good? Okay? Good? My eyes red eyes read, they're
a little ready. What's your face? Name? Please? Um? Felix
(41:32):
Alder the third, Felix Alder, the third, and the password
society Roy right this way, Mr Alder, thank you? Yes, yes, yes,
oh he's with me. Wait wait wait wait no, I'm sorry,
(41:54):
he's not with you. Could I get your name please? Rick?
You might remember me. The is the guy that was
here last night, Prentice, Rick Prentice. I wasn't here last night.
You weren't, Rick Prentice. Oh yes, yes, you're on the
list and the password O god Bob. I was hoping
(42:24):
to get transferred away from Paints if I could do
maybe stock room something, not with them, direct with customer.
You you don't want to be direct to customers. People.
People are dying to work with customers. Yeah, you know
it's not. Yeah, so then maybe those people should work
with them. I'm feeling like it's maybe not a great
(42:45):
fit for me. So um, but I would do really
well in the stock room. Throw on some you know, earphones,
listen to some podcasts, and and just get on with
my day, you know, like that. I would like know
what happens in the stock room, stock things, and you
do inventory, and it's a lot of listening that. I'm
actually very strong. That's exactly what happens there. My arms
(43:07):
don't look strong, but the thing is you have to
lift with your legs, and my legs are very strong.
I'm not supposed to look at him, So no, I'm
not asking you to look at This is why I can't.
I shouldn't be with people, you know what I mean, Like,
I shouldn't do the whole customer thing. You're very awkward.
It's not good for me. It's not good for my
mental health. No, no, well, hey, no, say no more.
(43:30):
I'm gonna I'm gonna move you over. But be aware
of Gary back there, right Gary, he works in the
stock room. Just you know what, why do you employ
someone that you need to be wary the other employees?
Of he's this is a problem, Bob. No, No, he's
he's actually Gary's last name is Low, So I can't
(43:53):
you understand being at a Low's. Gary gets to do
whatever job he wants to do. But he's not a danger,
there's no. No, I just need to be aware that
he'll be like a little upty and annoying. No, like,
so you don't get caught off guard when you walk
back there and Gary's there, be aware, like be watch out,
(44:13):
watch out, So there is some kind of danger. No,
just if you're going around the corner, I'm gonna say,
watch out. There's If there's danger, then maybe I should
stay out on the floor because at least it's a
public place and I have eyes on me, and there's
like people to back me up and corroborate any story. Robert. No,
there's no murders. Listen. I don't know. I don't You're
really you're really confusing me, Bob, and you're really kind
(44:34):
of freaking me out. No, I'm not trying. I can't
leave you on the floor. Now, now that you said
you're awkward with customers, putting you in the stock room,
send Gary to the front. I did not say that
I'm awkward with customers. I said that maybe it's not
my strong suit. Um, that I would feel more comfortable
doing a loner job. Do you want my job? Is
that what you want? I'll just give it to you here.
(44:56):
We'll switch. You wear this name tag, I'll wear yours.
Do I get full benefits? Yeah, it's full switcher. Okay, okay, okay,
thanks Bob. We know. Welcome. Don't say anything. I'm sorry
(45:17):
everybody was sitting in. You're a new member, alright, Welcome
to the Enna sanctum, Rick Prentice, Rick p Now, Rick,
you may have noticed that you cannot see our faces,
but we can see yours. You haven't earned the rights
(45:38):
to put face covering on just yet. Uh huh? And
is the right? And nimity is a right? And right?
The spotlight is really like it's bright, so it's really
(45:59):
hard to see any We can put your word back outside, Rick,
if you'd like. No, no, no, no, no, no no
no no. Police. Where on the color spectrum do you lie?
Rick Prentice? Color spectrum yellow yellow, yellow, Then place yourself
(46:23):
in the spectrum. Um, I this is where do you lie?
Find it? Rick? I guess just w are you? Rick?
Let's see just after it seems a little strange that
I'm after Orange, and then it's it's before it doesn't
(46:45):
I guess right here is this correct? Between Orange? Hey? Rick? Um,
quick thing, dude, Um, we're not We kind of don't
want you to come back, you know what I mean?
Last night out and like you know, but you're going
to go to the same place and it's the same password. Right.
(47:06):
I don't I mean probably don't, but don't take guys. Sorry, Um,
I don't mean to, but you guys need to get
back to work. Um, I'm the floor manager now, and girl,
thought you were the paint girl. There's not a lot
of changes here painter like the cute little paint girl.
That's what we always call her. No, I'm the strong,
(47:26):
the big strong floor manager now and the big strong
floor manager now. And you're gonna need to sir. You're
gonna need to buy something or get out, and sir,
you're going to need to get back to the louver
for wit second. Actually, no, actually work now. You don't know,
you don't. When you leave the society, you leave employment
(47:48):
as well. Oh my god, yeah, don't tell your wife
ship honey, how did you what are you doing? Home
at the doors close to blinds. Hold on, Oh boy,
I've got a lot to tell you. So yello yellow
yellow yellow yellow. Oh listen, I've been discharged from a
(48:12):
secret society and how I don't have a job. Um,
why did you do this to last? What about our son?
And he was fine that scene three and the end
of our show. Everybody, let's say, let's say a couple
of thank you as you know. First of all, I
(48:33):
want to thank our in zoom Alca Maniacs, Paul Hattan
and Mike del Rosso for chilling with us, hanging with us.
I also want to go around and thank you guys
and see what you're up to. James, thank you and
what are you up to? Wow? I am What am
I up to? I've been doing a lot of game
front stuff. Check out game Front game front dot COM's
(48:54):
web page. We'll bring you over to where we really are,
putting the last on a YouTube channel, game Front terrific. Jackie, Ruthy,
thank you and what are you up to? Thank you
so much? Um? You know, I'm Jackie to Ruthie on
Instagram and that's where I'll post, you know, new things
when I'm when I'm up to what's going on. Um,
(49:16):
I have a show and I'm not sure when this
this comes out, but I think that it would come
out before the fourteen, perhaps April of April April fourteen,
there's a Pony Pony show at the west Side Comedy
Theater that will have a lot of similar players to
this podcast, and either way be very fun and I
(49:39):
will be there. Um, I will be doing that show
live at the west Side Comedy Theater. And on the
twenty two is Earth Day, so don't forget to uh
to celebrate. That's one of my favorite. Congratulations on your
on your award winning short film, thank You is award
winning now it is award winning you your husband made
(50:01):
and it was great. Congratulations on that. Okay, Craig Kaikowski,
thank you, And what are you up to? Well, a
self tape just came in, so with any with any luck,
that will turn into a job on TV and then
I'll be able to tell you about it eight months
from now. We're just I know, we're just wrapping up,
but let's just quickly explain to people who don't know
(50:22):
what self tape what that means. Well, it used to
be that all auditions you'd go to a casting office
somewhere in the Greater Los Angeles area. You drive all
around town, so you do have the convenience of everything
can be done from home. But it really is just
you're you're reading with your significant other or a friend. Uh,
You're you're taping it. You're sending it off into the ether,
(50:44):
never to be heard from again. Well break a leg
with that, and uh you know. But also you know, Craig,
you book baby, and if you go in there with
that booking mentality, you're gonna book. I usually slate by
saying I booked Craig Ktkowski five for eleven Los Angeles.
I booked baby. That would be good like a tool
(51:07):
saying thank you so much and what are you up to? Uh?
Not much. I'm getting back on stage. I'm I got
a sketch show coming up a couple of weeks. You
can follow me on a tool time A T U
L T I M E. On Instagram and on Twitter
and uh my website of toolsing dot com. I usually
will have my shows listened there. So if you're in
the area, come on out. I'd love to see you
(51:29):
in person. And I guess you and I will probably
probably be joining Jackie on that Pretty Pretty Ponny Show. Yes, Yes,
absolutely or fourteen for fourteen. Well, thank you all for
being here and let's think our engineer and produce. You
to the stars, Mr Doug Baby and the fine folks
that I hurt Media. I have been your guest host
(51:52):
Chris ov Rodo, and I thank you for listening and
until next time, Yes Up.
Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of my
favorite podcast, Alchemy. This I am your guest host, Chris Alvarado.
I am sitting in for Kevin Pollock. Yes, that Kevin Pollock.
It's hard to sit in his seat, you know, it's
hard to take over this position. But he's trusting me
with it, and I am so happy to the Tool.
(00:26):
I I messed up that word. Now now I'm flailing
in the intro. Everybody, We're going down, but I'm gonna.
I'm gonna pull this plane up and we are back.
We are back. It's not just me. You heard me
say a tool's name. I'm joined by other Alchemists. So
let's say hello to them, in no particular order. We're
gonna start with James Heeney. Hi, James, Hi, I got
(00:48):
a little scared there. I gotta hello. No, no, no,
You're good. You're good. You're good, James, James, I have
a question for you. Okay, do you have a good
relationship with your primary physician? No? No, I I had
not been to the doctor in almost twenty years, and
I might my primary care physician in January. We've had
(01:10):
a great like forty five minutes together and all my
things came back great, luckily, except I have to stop
eating hashbrows as much and now I eat oatmeal. But
I love it, you know, it's great. Wow, Well, well
are you gonna are you going to develop this relationship?
Are you gonna keep going back around? I was supposed
to schedule another another one in March, and well it's
(01:31):
thet and it didn't happen. So but once I got
all those numbers back and it was so good, I
was like, well, I can go another twenty years. I
don't think that's how it works. Um, well, you heard
her chiming in, so let's say hello to her. Everybody
makes a noise for Jackie der Ruthy. I'm so sorry.
(01:51):
I'm nervous in the chest now, James, I'm nervous in
the chest. I am all about preventative care, and um,
you should be seeing a doctor once a year. It
is free to just do the preventative wellness situation stuff.
You should be seeing a dermatologist. You're a fair man.
You should be. I mean, there are things so I'm
(02:13):
getting I'm a little heated. I'm a little nervous in
the chest, to be honest, after hearing that well, once
I started eating oatmeal, the nervousness in my chest went away.
I don't think. I don't think the oatmeal was a cure. Girl.
But Jackie, you said you're getting heated, right, and it's
no it's no secret that you are a fan of
(02:34):
the Miami Heat. That's right. My question for you, though,
is are you actually good at playing basketball? If you
actually ball or you are you just a fan? To
tell you I've never balled in my life would be
the truth. I never played. I was, I'm not. I mean, yeah,
I'm not athletic. Maybe I'm athletic, but I'm not a
(02:56):
contact sport girl. I just never kind of did it.
I was a leader and then uh, which is its
own sport and its own right. And then I did
like theater and danced, which is also athletic in its
own right. But I never dabbled. I had asthma. And
running and I are not friends. Though dancing and I
(03:20):
are friends. There's something also when I run, I get
I've tried it a couple of times, and I get
full body hives. Uh, my body is not used to
a circulation, and I get so itchy, like I am.
I'm in so much pain. I ran with my husband
Pat before once and he was like, never again, Jackie,
(03:41):
like this is so embarrassing, and I was like, but
I'm so like look at me, like it's not just
that I'm saying I'm itchy, Like you can see how
red my body is, and like also like the parts
that get red first, like the jigliat parts. And so
he's like, pull your shorts down, like stop showing me
your ass, Like, but look, how I just I haven't
(04:03):
spent a lot of time with you. I guess I
don't know. I haven't. I've spent more time with you
online than I have in person. I just can't imagine
these giggly parts of you. You know, everyone has, everybody,
you know, that's the thing. Everybody has jiggly parts. And
you can be a petite, a sweet, petite princess like
me and still have jiggli jiggli situations. I will not
(04:26):
take up all of this time, but it's a natural
part of the body. Yes, yes, I did, and tell
you how to preventative care situation search we couldn't find
any I do. I love I love watching basketball and
I really want to play, but my feet have been
(04:47):
sucked up for two years, and so that is my
main goal is like, once I get my feet back
to a hundred, I want to start playing basketball. But
when I say that, I'm like, no, I want to
shoot around. I don't want to. Can you imagine how
cute would be if you and Craig were just met
up met up on Tuesday mornings to shoot around for
a couple of hours. That would be so cute. I
would love and it would make sense because we lived
(05:07):
at each other. Speaking of which, ladies and gentlemen makes
the noise for Craig Ktkowski. Craig, when's the last time
you got good and drunk, like a real nice one,
you know, one of those like whoa, it's been a minute,
it's within the last month, so it's it is. Yeah,
(05:30):
So it's probably not like an amusing anecdote. It's more
like cry for help. No. I probably at most will
drink one or two nights a week, you know, and
usually you know, one and done. Um. But I think
there's something about the pandemic and the lack of social
(05:51):
opportunities that when we do have a social opportunity, I
tend to go a little overboard. So just getting together
with some friends from the neighborhood, and like the wine
kept comment and nobody was saying no. And you know
it's it's a two it's a two minute drive home,
(06:15):
you know. Uh so, like the conditions were right, yeah,
but I uh yeah, I I felt it the next day. Okay, regrets, no,
And that's why you can drink. Drink. That's why I
had to stop, because the next day it was all
regrets for a full week. Okay, here we go movie
(06:37):
speaking of a man who probably has no regrets. Let's
make some noise for a tool saying everybody, you just
got back from a long flight, just flew in last night,
and now you are here available for us, and we
appreciate that, we appreciate your time. There's my question for you,
a tool. And I'm really just you're so fascinating. You know,
(06:58):
my my dad met you at my wedding and he
was a huge fan of yours. Everybody who meets you
is such a huge fan of yours. That's true across
the board. I'm wondering for yourself, do you allow yourself
time to stop and smell the roses? Do you take
time for a tool? I do? I think so? I
think that's that's important for for a tool or anything small.
(07:21):
I don't know. Before before I lived India, my dad
has has this like a minivan type car. And I
made a point to be like, hey, thanks for getting
that car because it was we're in traffic quite a
bit in India and it's nice to be in a
big car. And it was just like I was like,
I gotta appreciate that having that car makes the traffic
(07:42):
so bearable. And yeah, I was just like, I just
gotta go say thanks. You know, I've been complaining about
a lot of stuff, so I was like, hey, I
just wanna say that decision you made eight years ago
to buy that car brilliant. So but yes, yes, and
I am Facebook friends with my doctor James. Okay, I
(08:03):
mean sho, I feel like this could be the whole show,
but I guess people, I was just thinking, what is
there a podcast that's just welcoming people and then you
wrap it up like this is great, This is great.
I need to mention that we are joined in Zoom Studio.
I'm doing the quotations in studio by two alchemists. Today
we have Paul Hetton and Mike del Rosso, which is
(08:24):
really exciting for us um As you know, if you
are an alchemaniac, if you support us at that level,
you will have the opportunity may have the opportunity to
join us in zoom see what we look like as
Jackie de Ruthie. Any question do you want before we
get started? It is a fun time for everybody. And
as you all know, today's seeing suggestions come from listeners
(08:44):
emails and if you want some priority in the in
the suggestion situation, if you want us to select yours,
you know a little sooner, will then consider becoming a
Patreon v I P. You'll get exclusive content, including bonus scenes.
You get to hang out with us like we Just
a lot is going on at Patreon dot com, slash
Alchemy this or and this is totally fine. If you
(09:07):
want to submit a suggestion the old time away via email,
we love those We love those two. Please shoot us
an email at Alchemy this email at gmail dot com.
That's alchemail dot com. All right. See one comes to
us from listener Rebecca Schaefer. Hi, guys, thank you so
very much for continuing to provide such high quality nonsense.
(09:30):
It really is the finest. I just got back from
a trip to Chicago and of course had to go
to a Cubs game, which inspired my scene suggestion hot
dog guy versus beer guy. Thanks for the last Beck's
from Montana. Hot Dogs get your hat, dogs code beer
(09:54):
code beer at dogs two for six dollars. You can't
beat that deal. Dogs dogs cold beer too for five dollars?
Could you stop shouting? Hey, let's going on, Jerry. I'm
trying to sell some hot dogs and I think that
people are getting confused and they keeping you shout over me. Well, Jerry,
(10:19):
were the whole stadium? Sure, sure, but this is my section.
You say that people can't have hot dogs and beer
cold beer? It please stop it. I'm telling you, like,
can I get a hot dog? Uh? Trying to watch
(10:43):
the game here? Yes? My issues can't be your issues. Yes? Wait,
what are your issues? It's the it's the bun of
it all. I don't and I don't like the shape
of it. It freaks me out. Then there's the goop
inside condiments freaked me out, scare me. That's my issues.
I don't want them to be your issues. Let's get
you a hot dog. Dad's watching the game. Should we
(11:06):
get him a hot dog? Let's get him a hot dog.
Let's get him a hot dog. Sure, let's get him down.
Oh my gosh, we are not at home. This is embarrassing.
And if you keep doing this to me, I'm gonna
I'm trying to raise a family. You know how expensive
it is for an apartment in Chicago. Uh No, I
I own you. You come in, you come in from
(11:27):
the suburbs, and I live on wavelength. Right, I live
on wavelength. It's expensive. You might catch a home run
ball if I'm lucky, but most often I just catch
a broken window. JA, maybe you need a code beer? Mom?
Do you think I could try a beer? Okay, now
you're pushing the buttons. Now you you said your issues
(11:48):
are my issues. That's not an issue. That's legal. You
have alcohol issues. I don't have alcohol issues. What are
you trying to say? Every weekend you think I've got
an alcohol issue? You think every weekend? How you change?
I get a little different, a little loose, like a
little dancy. I get a little fun. What's the problem
with that? You're not twenty one. You're not getting a beer.
If you don't mind me interrupting, I might say that
(12:10):
your alcohol issue is that you don't have a cold beer.
And this is definitely not a This is not a
beer group right here are you? This is a mom
andous son. You're looking for a goopie. Do not yell.
I know this is I know what's your job, but
to not yell in my facility. My husband will freak out.
He is watching this guy's with you. It looks like
(12:33):
it at all. I know. I'll take one hot dog please,
right This one's extra goopie just for you. There you go, Jerry,
you gotta say, and my mom will have one of
those cold ones. Am I up to bat next? Or
(12:59):
the running? Just kind of the rudding order, the batting order.
I used to do theater in high school, and I
guess you're always kind of confused. Yeah, we know, Jenkins,
you always that was Puck. I shouldn't have to say
in Midsummer's Night, that's Shakespeare. Um. But I switched to
(13:19):
baseball because my father. Yeah, your ninth, your ninth in
the coach? Are we talking? Are we talking previous theater experience?
I was also in Midsummer Are you looking at Nick Bottom?
At your service? I played Nick Bottom, the weaver, He
turns into the donkey, Okay, don't be so proud. Well
you just struck out, Okay, yeah, no, I felt bad
(13:43):
about that. I overheard we're talking about our coach, coach
before I go in. Do you want me to hit it?
You know, like I usually do? Or like we tried
the other day in rehearsal, rehear sorry practice, Sorry sorry.
I used to do theater screen. Was a minor faery role,
but it was still my role, a bit of a
(14:04):
dance break. Okay, look, everybody gets cast in mid summer.
I'd stream okay, like it's it's an easy Shakespeare play
to do for high school and there's a lot of
characters in it's you know what, what plays? Did you
ever do? I did Corey Elanus? Oh, flashback to coaching
(14:29):
Corey Elanus? Who whoa Corey that? Verily? I'd be Corey
Corey oh Lanus' back. We made some changes to the
to the script and it was more he was more
(14:51):
irish than Roman. Oh Roman, I played Caesar. Um, yeah, okay,
look we need somebody at the plate right now. Okay, yeah,
why don't we Why are we fighting this this situation
(15:11):
we have going on here? Why are we fighting this
theater mapping over this ballgame. Why don't we just combine them, Coach, director,
if I can call you that, don't call me that. Okay,
all right, okay, okay, But but how how how do
we combine these two passions of yours? Well? Maybe for starters.
You know, I do a little better when I'm a
little ease back on the plate, So maybe I should
(15:33):
be standing a bit upstage, you know, in terms of
me at home plate situation. Look, whatever helps you get
a hit, if you want to call it upstage, down stage,
And coach, I was thinking lately, when I've been batting,
I've been kind of playing to the guys in front
of me. Maybe I should play to the back of
the house. Maybe I might hit some more home runs
than project really projecting. Well, yeah, because you've been bunting
(15:55):
every time, right, and non bunt situations, right, Okay, a
home run would be nice if you want to call
that playing to h the crowd in the back. Sure, sure,
project project the ball all the way out of the
fucking park. Uh, Security Security, Hi, I'm hot, thought guy,
(16:20):
um and I and I want to keep this between
you and me, but I'd like to report, uh, you
know ed the beer guy. He just he just sold
a beer to an underage person, and I would hate
to see the whole stadium get shut down, you know,
so you might want to take his license and kick
him out of here. I'll tell you, I've been doing
(16:41):
this job for a long time. One thing, there's one
thing that I hate, uh huh, and that's a rat
of what somebody who tattle tales. But but but I'm
just trying to make a same thing. It's clearly not
he sold a beard to somebody for a mom, quote unquote,
but it was clearly for the kids. Come on, so
(17:02):
if you were in the mob and somebody committed a murder,
you would go and tell somebody is this is this
a trick question? Like they do in interviews for chops,
I wouldn't join the mob. What kind of interviews are
you going on? Family business? Slinging dogs, slinging goopy dogs
at at the Cup is a family business. Yeah, my
(17:23):
dad sold goopy dogs. I sell goopy dogs, and if
I have kids one day, it's going to continue in
the family tradition of two to three. Well, hey there, Jackey,
what's going on here? What are you guys talking about?
It's just the game. Oh god, we're talking about how
he kept doing this year. Well, they're in last place
(17:45):
like usual, but they stopped bunting for once, which is nice.
We're just talking. We're just talking about his intergenerational family
of hot dogs on. Yeah. Well, I come from a
long line of biggers. You can't imagine what it's like
in your household. Well, you know, my father started serving
(18:09):
beer eighty years ago and earned enough money to buy
a nice house in the suburbs. I don't have to
do this. I don't even take a salary. I just
love serving copy. Jeez, Mom, you're gonna have to talk
(18:33):
a little out. I mean we are at the game.
Dad hasn't even looked over at us. Yeah, he's in
the zone. You know when he watches sports, he's got
his blinders on. He's just looking forward. He's in the zone. Honey.
I know. I'm not sure if you're noticing, but oh
my god, this team, this team is playing completely different today.
(18:54):
Belt in the balls, way out of the park. Something's changed.
I love it all right, and you having it okay? Good?
And I love you Dad, So that works out great.
Don't just keep it down, don't you're pushing it. You
aren't pushing it, Mark, can I get one ship? You're
pushing it again. You're really pushing it today, really pushing
(19:16):
it to batting Herb Kowalski first base, sag equity after.
I think, wow, he's doing like a little Charleston on
that plate. To prepare himself. Look at that, you see
to take a little take a page out of these
(19:37):
players books and change it up. Change it up for yourself,
because this you comporting yourself at these games. We don't
stop coming, you don't stop misbehaving, and I can't blame
myself as the mother. I won't do it. I won't
(19:57):
take any you know, must bill, We'll take it, you know. Uh, honey, honey,
what what are you talking about? Oh? Now you're in
the family. Oh now you're in the family. Just wanted
to check in. How is everything going with that cold bear?
I gave your son? You're the one who gave my
(20:20):
son cold. I got it for you. I got it
for you. And now obviously you've had a few SIPs
because you're really wilding out. Now, all right, everybody, the
cats out of the bag. I'm loose as a goose.
I'm loose as a Goose. Last game, my son punched
me in the face, so you can't imagine that this game,
I want to real admit a little bit. I want
(20:40):
him to be a little more comportant. And you're over here,
look out that ball. That ball broke the fourth wall.
And here we are at the top of the fourth inning,
and once again always joined with my partner Steven Franklin,
and what the Cubs are really at the bottom this year.
(21:02):
But what do you think that's gonna be something that's
gonna help them turn it around? Steve? Well, I think
the one thing that would if I was going to
be out on the field and I was playing baseball,
I try to make sure that every time a ball
came at me, I knocked at the hill out of
the park. Good strategy, Steve. Steve's always that's that's what
(21:23):
I do when I play baseball, or when I did
when I was a professional baseball player. But you know, yeah,
our careers don't last that long. Excuse to me. And
I'm sir Ian McKellen and was asked to provide play
by play, if you will, a commentary on today's game.
Sure there's the mic right there, going pick that up
and put on the home Great. Great, I don't need
(21:46):
to be amplified, sir, as I project from my dietphram. Alright, great, Surrey,
and it's a pleasured to have you. Ley, gentlemen, were
joined by Surrey and come into us a live from
here in studio. And why don't you take this next
pitch coming up? Big black Bucks, bleed blue blood. That
(22:07):
fastball shut up pass because he hit it. He hit it,
it didn't pass. It didn't pass him. Oh, the Cubs
are really starting to turn around, sir. And it was
absolutely correct. And uh, well, the home runs going on
where I want to say that we're brought to you
(22:27):
by Subway. Subway Eating Fresh is new and we have
no more sponsors. So welcome back Subway Eat Fresh coach, coach.
Should we do an encore? They're they're cheering for us,
not the game's over. We won. You don't do an encore.
(22:48):
You can go out and bow to the crowd. I
guess we'll do. We'll do certainly, also do a cool down, right,
because we don't want any kind of fatigued lyre on.
We want to cool it down, face right, whatever you
need for somehow it worked today. Okay, guys, coach, do
we have a u A Wednesday matinee? I mean a
double header tomorrow. Don't call the matinees? All right, Yes,
(23:09):
we do have a doubleheader, so gets so get some rest, guys,
and protect your your throat with some some tea and honey. Okay,
because vocal fatigue is a real thing. And I don't
even know why I'm saying this. I'm both sucked into
this theater thing, coach, Coach, would would you agree? Oh? Please? Uh,
you're the bigger lead. You go first. I was just
(23:32):
gonna say, would you agree that the scene? The scene's
almost over because everyone's leaving the stands and stuff. What
do you mean? Seen? This is my life up here
and see what does that? What does that mean? Okay,
(23:55):
let us go on to our second scene. He comes
to us from listener Anny Tanner. No, yeah, he has
every time. Oh my god, it's a good name. Danny
Tanner says, hello, alchemist. The scene suggestion is for everyone's
favorite baby boy, Chris. Yeah. The suggestion is surfs up
(24:19):
dude from Danny in Saskatchewan. Oh man, those waves are crushed, Chan,
I'm gonna get out there. I can't wait, all right,
just gonna be be by myself all up. Oh hey
you you you're going out to the waves over there? Yeah? Man, uh,
(24:41):
you know what, there's nobody's super today, right, I'm sorry,
what did you say? I said, you notice there's nobody's
surfing out there today, right, No, it's just gonna be
me in the ocean. There's a shark out there. There's
just shark out There was a lot of rain, and
the rain brought a lot of debris, and the sharks
are eating up the debris like they're hungry, hungry hippos.
You gotta be careful. I go up north if I
were you. I'm sorry you said that the rain brought
(25:03):
in a lot of debris, and the debris brought in
a lot of sharks. I don't know if you know
how this works, but a lot of the like debris
on the streets came out into the water, and of
course it's like hamburger bones and stuff like that out
in the ocean. Sharks come in gobble it up, and
when they're done, if they eat at all, they're gonna
get surfers. So what I'd say is go up north,
and there's no no sharks up there. No debris up there,
(25:25):
don't don't They're all the sharks are coming right down here.
I'm trying trying and tell you look around, you see
any of the surfers, Hey, Steph, I wouldn't go out
there if I were you. It looks pretty sharky today. Yeah,
but I'm totally one with the sharks. Not I know,
I know, And I think that's the conversation we need
to have. Hey, Sky, come in here. When I went
(25:45):
into that sound bath, I became one with the sharks,
and they guaranteed me that within that uh, within that,
don't Sky? Hey, what's going on? Guys? I'm talking to
her about the shark situation and then maybe she shouldn't
go on today because of the sharks. Yeah, a lot
of sharks. But but what are you doing? Sky? But
(26:09):
you know, I gotta say, like if you can you know,
catch a sweet wave, you know, uh like narrowly avoiding
uh shark, then I mean then you're the ultimate. Then
you're the ultimate, you know, So I gotta put that
out there. You know, sharks aren't here to eat me. Sharks,
(26:30):
you know, yes, like the way that they figured things
out is with their mouth. But then once they're gonna
taste like unless they've gone rogue and their rogue sharks
who've gotten like, you know, a bit of like a
flavor for the humans. Like they're not going to you
know what I mean, Like they're not They're gonna take
an exploratory bite, an exploratory by, and it kind of
depends on where the explorat ray bite comes from. It's
(26:51):
like whether you're but Steff, remember the last time we
were out there and you've got that huge barrel, you
got so painted, right, and you were like that right,
absolutely right. Well, I'm gonna be honest, I got scared.
I thought maybe I wasn't gonna see my little gram anymore. Greg,
are you trying to tell me something? Because if it's
about the sharks, it's about the sharks. But if it's
(27:13):
about you wanting to get with this, then that's a
whole another conversation that we need to have. Bow maybe
at eight o'clock Saturday night. I am free. I love
their garlic, not I would go fucking eight for that,
oh man, garlic not to look at Look out the window.
(27:34):
Look there's one surfer out there. I don't recognize hithing.
He's not local. A nube. What are you trying to
distract me from? Like me and you're getting together? I
don't know you just I just tossed that like, yeah,
remind me of that one time I got that a footer.
Remind me bro the second guys, the nube is surrounded
(27:59):
by finn and what it? All right? We got him surrounded.
That's uh, who's gonna take the first bite? I want
to exploratory bite on him. Well, you're a newbie. You
should wait till talk him. Grandpa should go first. Grandpa's
the oldest. To your grandpa, what do you what is? Grandpa? Well, uh,
(28:22):
I don't think these old teeth can handle anything other
than stale hamburger. But no, no, Grandpa, you still got
You saw your doctor this year. You're in great shape.
All right? What if? What if I chewing up in
baby bird? It to your grandpa? Alright, grows gross gross.
It's at least do me the honor of letting me
(28:46):
have an exploratory bite. Yeah, that makes sense. Grandpa goes first. Alright,
Grandpa goes. If he surfed back around, Grandpa goes first.
We all agree. Hey, dude, dude, put your feet up
on your board. Don't let him dangle down there. My
feet are dangling, dude, you don't do that. Put your
(29:08):
feet on the board. I already warned him not to
go out there. I don't know what the hell he's
doing out there. Who's up, Lifeguard, Luke? You three know
I'm about to go out there, right, You're not gonna
go out there and join them. I'm only gonna go
I'm not going out there. But as Steph goes out there,
you know I got to go out there. She's got
my heart on my leash, my leash with its barring
my leash. What and if they both go out there,
(29:33):
then it's probably covered and Sky doesn't have to Sky won't.
Sky won't, Skuy won't. But but right now it looks
like all those all those sharks are circling that guy
out there. Well, I've warned New Bruni, I'm not going
out there, and I'm not gonna help him. He should
have known, he should have gone north, but he didn't.
Isn't it your job? Isn't your job to help serve
and protect? Look at all those fins. You think I
(29:53):
want to go out there and get bit bro bro,
get one with the shark, Get off your board, circle
it yourself takes to the left, fence to the right. Wow, yeah,
all right, I'm gonna get off my board alright, shark,
(30:14):
So it's uh, we're gonna let grandpa go first. What
the hell he's just he's getting in here. Wait? Wait,
are we sure this guy, this thing is not half shark?
Oh he's swimming with us. Now, maybe he's half shart. Grandpa.
Do you recognize him? Yeah, he looks familiar. Alright, so
(30:35):
maybe he's shark. Maybe he's look but don't don't ask me.
When's the last It's more about smell and taste anyway
with shark. That's right, that's right, we know that. Well.
I lost my sense of smell and taste a couple
(30:55):
of days ago. I don't know if I'll be able
to do it. You lost your smell and taste? Uh? Yeah,
well you're sick, dude. You got comment covid shark, stay
at home covid sharks. But I wanted to go to school, Steff, stuff,
where are you going? I have to get in there.
(31:18):
He's flailing, he's absolutely flailing. I don't want to I
don't want to keep you from doing what your heart
is telling you you need to do well. I'm not
coming out there to we know, we know, Luke, we
don't made it very clear. I don't want you to
come made it very clear. I really don't want that. Greg.
(31:41):
I'm going out there and I'm making you a solid promise.
I am coming back and we're gonna go to Buccanepo
and fill our taste buttons. The water's cold, the water's cold.
All right, you better get going stuff, We better get going, okay,
but we're gonna have that garl it. Go get him broa. Okay, wait, Greg,
(32:02):
I feel like there's been like a turd. I feel
like now you're bra and like it's like like fuel
the water, you know, like and like you'll see the shark.
So that's it. Just go get him, getting gut him.
But I just want to nail down this date first
and like make sure we have that in the books
for me to look forward to, because you know how
(32:24):
they say like like surgery patients need to have hope exactly.
I just came guys, I just came back from book
and a Beppo and you weren't kidding about these garlic knots.
They're insane. That's what I'm saying, Gregg. Yeah, so Saturday
night a PM. That's when I'm pree. That's like a
perfect date. Not he's going under you better get in
(32:44):
there stuff. Yeah, I just want to Oh you, old shark.
Do you recognize me? Grandpa? Is he talking to you? Yeah, yes,
old shark. Do you understand me? Yes? I do. Touch
your nose to my nose? What the hell is this
(33:07):
guy doing? Right? Am I holding my breath along? Oh?
I'm part shark, aren't I? I think you are? You are.
I'm finally with my people. Stay away from him. He's sick.
(33:29):
This guy's got COVID. You're supposed to stay home. He's
got COVID. It's just garbage. It's just garbage. And my gills, Steph,
you came back. Was that guy dead or what? He's
super dead? Turns out he's very very dead. But his
his corpse have a smile on its face, and I
(33:49):
think he went to a better place, you know. Yeah,
So I let him out. I left him out there
because yeah, you know, what goes around goes around to
the ground, and he composition. I gotta get back to sure. Yeah,
let's just um, let's just nail down a PM. Guys, guys,
(34:11):
you gotta help me with this chicken parm because the
portions are ridiculous and I definitely want to go there
and try things for sure. Like the portions are almost
a split, right, like they like a perfect family size family.
And welcome to Bucca to peppose. My name is Charles
(34:32):
and I'll be taking care of you. How many of
you in your party? How many? How many? How many
do we have? Guys? I think I think there's six
in our school and that okay, see three comes to
(34:53):
us from Alchemy v I p. Nathaniel Jacobs. Daniel says, Hey, Alchemist,
you've got the best comedy podcast, if not the best
podcast period. Thank you for being the high point of
my entertainment every week. And I want to say how
honored I am for you to read my message during
the triumphant, long awaited permanent return of Vanessa. I can
(35:17):
fantasize right. I became a patroon a few months ago,
and I strongly encourage everyone else who enjoys alchemy this
even a little bit to do the same. Honestly, there
is no better way to spend money on entertainment. For
just a few dollars you get hours and hours of
extra alchemy. This, by the way, this is what he's
really saying, not this is he's saying this hours and
hours of alchemy. This It was the best five dollars
(35:39):
I ever spent as for my scene suggestion. And I
carefully listen every time Chris says you wear this ahead
of time, right, Kevin, And I think I got a
pretty good sense of what to avoid. Will see the
suggestion Indigo sincerely, and please never stop. Not no, that's
(35:59):
that's the that's a purple. I think it's more of
a more of an indigo. I mean, you're the paint guy.
I guess you'll know. Did you want me to mix
it up for you guys? Or do you want to
check out some other palettes? Do you have something between
(36:23):
between between purple and indigo, like something on the spectrum?
Because I know it's roy g BIV and the eye
is right there next to the v. Uh, So where
where does purple fall between indigo and violent? It's hard
because the eyes also right next to the bright for blue, right,
(36:46):
so we know, right? Um, you know, I mean not personally,
but yeah, because he's not real, you're not kind of
did you guys say, you know you know Roy g
Are you friends of Roy giv? I mean we're familiar
(37:06):
with his work. Oh so you're not affiliated with this society? Okay,
never mind anxiety? What was that about? Um? I think
that bear actually has a strip that might be really interesting.
Were you guys? What? What? What society? I'm right now,
I'm a member of the Worlster Club, the Beverly Club,
(37:28):
the Soho Club. But I'm not in whatever this is.
He comes from money, don't don't start with That's not
my fault. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm not gonna apologize. No, No,
I want to be in that club Perry Winkle. People
really love Perry Winkle. People who like who are in
that Violet Indigo situation. I mean, I don't know Perry
(37:49):
Winkle personally, but I was invited to to Pee Diddy's
White Party six years in a row. I'm in the
A list groups wherever they are. I want to find
out what that clubs. That's all right. And now you're
painting houses, that's cool, that's cool. Do it, do it.
I don't give the money. Hey, Rick, how's uh? How
are things going over here? And plumbing it's pretty shitty.
(38:13):
You know hey, um, you know, um, you know how
you've been wondering why some of us go to happy
hour but you can never find the bar. Yeah, well yeah,
(38:34):
I think I think we might just give you the
address tonight, My fucking god, hold on one second, let
me get my notebook out. No no, no, no, no, no,
no no no no hold on. Okay, okay, two things here, Rick.
One you can't write anything down, and two, you can't
say anything to anybody. I didn't say anything yet. I
just told my wife. It was gonna see. You can't.
(38:57):
If you tell your wife anymore, we're gonna have to
either kill her or are you you killer? I don't care, Okay,
I want to come and hang out with the boys.
I didn't work at a I didn't work at a
home building place to hang out by myself drink alone
at a bar because I thought you were going to
down unders and nobody's there. We told you. I think
we told you down on Honors one time. Yeah you did, Yes,
(39:20):
you godd have did all right. We had to know that,
you had to know that you were good. I'm really good.
Where name? Please? Are you on the list? I'm Rick, Rick, Rick,
And do you need the full name Rick Prentice, Rick Prentiss,
(39:43):
Rick Prentiss, Rick Prentiss, Rick Prentiss. It's possible that I
don't know that they know my last name, so I
just start with Rick. Thet What what's the past word,
Rick Prentiss? Password? The past? Is it? Friendship? Is friendship
(40:07):
from work? Is it? It's I can tell you the
password is not friendship from work? Just try friendship? Just
try friendship. What do you mean, just try it? I
mean this is the place they told me to go.
My name's Rick, him on the list. I'm sorry, Rick Prentice.
(40:27):
If you don't know the password, you cannot be admitted
to the society tonight. Rick, we missed you last night. Man.
We had a good time. We had a good time, man,
a really good time. You forgot to mention the password.
I gotta get back to work. No no, no, no,
no, no no no no. Here's who's making pains today, like
gold me. No, you didn't give me the password. That
(40:50):
was on purpose. You made me look like an idiot.
I cried in front of a man last night. Hey,
at least you know, at least you know that you
know things are happening. That didn't even look like a bar.
It wasn't people, wasn't. Yeah, we wear hoods and robes
and cloaks. We call them cloaks. Okay, some of us here,
(41:11):
some of them is here, have proven that we can
show up and get rejected and be okay and hopefully
next time they get the password. Okay, sorry, how's your wife?
She's good? Okay? Good? My eyes red eyes read, they're
a little ready. What's your face? Name? Please? Um? Felix
(41:32):
Alder the third, Felix Alder, the third, and the password
society Roy right this way, Mr Alder, thank you? Yes, yes, yes,
oh he's with me. Wait wait wait wait no, I'm sorry,
(41:54):
he's not with you. Could I get your name please? Rick?
You might remember me. The is the guy that was
here last night, Prentice, Rick Prentice. I wasn't here last night.
You weren't, Rick Prentice. Oh yes, yes, you're on the
list and the password O god Bob. I was hoping
(42:24):
to get transferred away from Paints if I could do
maybe stock room something, not with them, direct with customer.
You you don't want to be direct to customers. People.
People are dying to work with customers. Yeah, you know
it's not. Yeah, so then maybe those people should work
with them. I'm feeling like it's maybe not a great
(42:45):
fit for me. So um, but I would do really
well in the stock room. Throw on some you know, earphones,
listen to some podcasts, and and just get on with
my day, you know, like that. I would like know
what happens in the stock room, stock things, and you
do inventory, and it's a lot of listening that. I'm
actually very strong. That's exactly what happens there. My arms
(43:07):
don't look strong, but the thing is you have to
lift with your legs, and my legs are very strong.
I'm not supposed to look at him, So no, I'm
not asking you to look at This is why I can't.
I shouldn't be with people, you know what I mean, Like,
I shouldn't do the whole customer thing. You're very awkward.
It's not good for me. It's not good for my
mental health. No, no, well, hey, no, say no more.
(43:30):
I'm gonna I'm gonna move you over. But be aware
of Gary back there, right Gary, he works in the
stock room. Just you know what, why do you employ
someone that you need to be wary the other employees?
Of he's this is a problem, Bob. No, No, he's
he's actually Gary's last name is Low, So I can't
(43:53):
you understand being at a Low's. Gary gets to do
whatever job he wants to do. But he's not a danger,
there's no. No, I just need to be aware that
he'll be like a little upty and annoying. No, like,
so you don't get caught off guard when you walk
back there and Gary's there, be aware, like be watch out,
(44:13):
watch out, So there is some kind of danger. No,
just if you're going around the corner, I'm gonna say,
watch out. There's If there's danger, then maybe I should
stay out on the floor because at least it's a
public place and I have eyes on me, and there's
like people to back me up and corroborate any story. Robert. No,
there's no murders. Listen. I don't know. I don't You're
really you're really confusing me, Bob, and you're really kind
(44:34):
of freaking me out. No, I'm not trying. I can't
leave you on the floor. Now, now that you said
you're awkward with customers, putting you in the stock room,
send Gary to the front. I did not say that
I'm awkward with customers. I said that maybe it's not
my strong suit. Um, that I would feel more comfortable
doing a loner job. Do you want my job? Is
that what you want? I'll just give it to you here.
(44:56):
We'll switch. You wear this name tag, I'll wear yours.
Do I get full benefits? Yeah, it's full switcher. Okay, okay, okay,
thanks Bob. We know. Welcome. Don't say anything. I'm sorry
(45:17):
everybody was sitting in. You're a new member, alright, Welcome
to the Enna sanctum, Rick Prentice, Rick p Now, Rick,
you may have noticed that you cannot see our faces,
but we can see yours. You haven't earned the rights
(45:38):
to put face covering on just yet. Uh huh? And
is the right? And nimity is a right? And right?
The spotlight is really like it's bright, so it's really
(45:59):
hard to see any We can put your word back outside, Rick,
if you'd like. No, no, no, no, no, no no
no no. Police. Where on the color spectrum do you lie?
Rick Prentice? Color spectrum yellow yellow, yellow, Then place yourself
(46:23):
in the spectrum. Um, I this is where do you lie?
Find it? Rick? I guess just w are you? Rick?
Let's see just after it seems a little strange that
I'm after Orange, and then it's it's before it doesn't
(46:45):
I guess right here is this correct? Between Orange? Hey? Rick? Um,
quick thing, dude, Um, we're not We kind of don't
want you to come back, you know what I mean?
Last night out and like you know, but you're going
to go to the same place and it's the same password. Right.
(47:06):
I don't I mean probably don't, but don't take guys. Sorry, Um,
I don't mean to, but you guys need to get
back to work. Um, I'm the floor manager now, and girl,
thought you were the paint girl. There's not a lot
of changes here painter like the cute little paint girl.
That's what we always call her. No, I'm the strong,
(47:26):
the big strong floor manager now and the big strong
floor manager now. And you're gonna need to sir. You're
gonna need to buy something or get out, and sir,
you're going to need to get back to the louver
for wit second. Actually, no, actually work now. You don't know,
you don't. When you leave the society, you leave employment
(47:48):
as well. Oh my god, yeah, don't tell your wife
ship honey, how did you what are you doing? Home
at the doors close to blinds. Hold on, Oh boy,
I've got a lot to tell you. So yello yellow
yellow yellow yellow. Oh listen, I've been discharged from a
(48:12):
secret society and how I don't have a job. Um,
why did you do this to last? What about our son?
And he was fine that scene three and the end
of our show. Everybody, let's say, let's say a couple
of thank you as you know. First of all, I
(48:33):
want to thank our in zoom Alca Maniacs, Paul Hattan
and Mike del Rosso for chilling with us, hanging with us.
I also want to go around and thank you guys
and see what you're up to. James, thank you and
what are you up to? Wow? I am What am
I up to? I've been doing a lot of game
front stuff. Check out game Front game front dot COM's
(48:54):
web page. We'll bring you over to where we really are,
putting the last on a YouTube channel, game Front terrific. Jackie, Ruthy,
thank you and what are you up to? Thank you
so much? Um? You know, I'm Jackie to Ruthie on
Instagram and that's where I'll post, you know, new things
when I'm when I'm up to what's going on. Um,
(49:16):
I have a show and I'm not sure when this
this comes out, but I think that it would come
out before the fourteen, perhaps April of April April fourteen,
there's a Pony Pony show at the west Side Comedy
Theater that will have a lot of similar players to
this podcast, and either way be very fun and I
(49:39):
will be there. Um, I will be doing that show
live at the west Side Comedy Theater. And on the
twenty two is Earth Day, so don't forget to uh
to celebrate. That's one of my favorite. Congratulations on your
on your award winning short film, thank You is award
winning now it is award winning you your husband made
(50:01):
and it was great. Congratulations on that. Okay, Craig Kaikowski,
thank you, And what are you up to? Well, a
self tape just came in, so with any with any luck,
that will turn into a job on TV and then
I'll be able to tell you about it eight months
from now. We're just I know, we're just wrapping up,
but let's just quickly explain to people who don't know
(50:22):
what self tape what that means. Well, it used to
be that all auditions you'd go to a casting office
somewhere in the Greater Los Angeles area. You drive all
around town, so you do have the convenience of everything
can be done from home. But it really is just
you're you're reading with your significant other or a friend. Uh,
You're you're taping it. You're sending it off into the ether,
(50:44):
never to be heard from again. Well break a leg
with that, and uh you know. But also you know, Craig,
you book baby, and if you go in there with
that booking mentality, you're gonna book. I usually slate by
saying I booked Craig Ktkowski five for eleven Los Angeles.
I booked baby. That would be good like a tool
(51:07):
saying thank you so much and what are you up to? Uh?
Not much. I'm getting back on stage. I'm I got
a sketch show coming up a couple of weeks. You
can follow me on a tool time A T U
L T I M E. On Instagram and on Twitter
and uh my website of toolsing dot com. I usually
will have my shows listened there. So if you're in
the area, come on out. I'd love to see you
(51:29):
in person. And I guess you and I will probably
probably be joining Jackie on that Pretty Pretty Ponny Show. Yes, Yes,
absolutely or fourteen for fourteen. Well, thank you all for
being here and let's think our engineer and produce. You
to the stars, Mr Doug Baby and the fine folks
that I hurt Media. I have been your guest host
(51:52):
Chris ov Rodo, and I thank you for listening and
until next time, Yes Up.
Alchemy This News
Host
Kevin Pollak
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