Karma...

Karma

Physical therapist in space

Box of teeth

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Well, come back to another episode. Kevin. Yes that Kevin.
If that's what she's having, make mine half a sweet
and twice his pre We cool, But I digress. Let's
meet our cham shall we, in no particular orders, say
hey to the Chris Alverado, he who also stings like

(00:23):
a bee. What self defense advice can you offer our
lovely listening head. But immediately nobody's ever expecting it, and
you go from the bridge of the nose to their mouth.
It's like this, it's two things, bom boom to the
as soon as well, it'll crack the bridge of their
nose and it'll they'll crack their front teeth. If you
follow all the way through with the head, nobody's expecting it,

(00:44):
you know, don't get Caroline, Caroline, it's I've been in
fights and been head about it. No, but my best
friend did it to another one of our friends in
a jack in a box one time. They were arguing
over a girl and he went and then and then
I went into the bathroom and my friend who got
hit was was over the sink, blood point from the

(01:05):
bridge of his nose and his two front teeth were
chipped from one hit Boom boom, but nobody saw it coming.
But then that that guy was concussed. Whoever hit him
with his head? Yeah, concussion. I don't think you're I
think your four head correct the bridge of the nose.
But um, the sound is disgusting? Is it is? The sound?

(01:25):
We're more disgusting than someone being curbed. I'm thinking that
probably not more than a curb. Oh and now it's
time once again for our weekly entertainment news Corner with
Craig Getkowski Ko Kevin. It's mid August and the entertainment

(01:48):
industry is grinding on, grinding on without me. Ships getting
made all the time. People are going to Vancouver, the
coup of They're going down to a town. They're shooting
stuff in the valley and downtown and all over Los
Angeles and virtually none of it includes me. Uh so,

(02:14):
what's going on, guys? I mean, it's peak TV. And
I say this knowing that Alvarado is doing even less
than be cool with where you are where you are
in the industry. But you know, there there's always somebody
who's doing a little less. My fiancee, Jessica just saw

(02:37):
you on her plane ride. She saw you pop up
on her monitor. So you're you're you're people are seeing you.
It's all relative. Yeah, it's all relative. Matt Damon is saying, well,
Leo got that. That's you know, by the way, you
ain't wrong. Uh uh and um yeah, we should all

(03:02):
be shooting White Lotus season two at Maui in Maui,
A course seasons I've stayed there, by the way, not
that great that hotel. They make it look better than
it is. Got good work, Mike White. Hey, there's Mark
Gagliardi where gagsman? Yeah? Did you ever peer into a

(03:24):
neighbor's window as a youngster? Uh's a fine youngster because
I'm I am forty two years young now and there's
a window right behind me my friend. Uh and they're
standing out there right now. Um No, I was never
really because we didn't have anybody living behind us where

(03:45):
I grew up. It was just we didn't have our
neighbors that just peered off and there weren't there weren't
windows that aimed to the neighbors on either side, though
there were, there was a fence that I would periodically
talk to my next door neighbor through, like Wilson, because
we went to school together. We saw each other. It's
we'd have the fence at school. The fence was just
at home, which made you happier? Fence or no fense fence? Yes,

(04:10):
oh yeah, there's a little there's a little more mystery
to the hand gestures that he might be doing. Well,
let's not get into those. Look, it's Caroline Cover, Miss August.
What would your talent portion for let's say the Miss
California pageant be? That's the nicest thing first of all
you've ever said to me calling me Miss August. Um. Secondly,

(04:32):
I think if I'm in the show, there's already a
big problem, you know what I mean, if I've made
it so far to be in the talent portion. Um.
But it's something I can do on stage. Um. Right,
Maybe technically I could try to do a handstand. I
can't do it though, but that's I think what I'd

(04:55):
give it a good try at Cartwheel. Nothing would make
those shows was more entertaining than one of those contestants.
It's just trying to do a handstand that they're not
great at. That's well, that's why I think I'd be
a great contestant. I vote yes, uh, alrighty. Last but

(05:17):
peel and lather another potato. You think I'm least it's
Joey Greer moisturizing for a friend. Have you have you
ever worked on a farm. Oh yeah, I've worked on
many farms. Uh huh uh huh yeah the farmers what

(05:37):
they call prison yard. Ye, so uh, let's do that show. No,
I would all of our scenes suggestions. I mean, I've
heard a couple of stories of when you did a
Nicola Juliet, and it's just not something I want anyone
else to hear. Okay, let me protect you from yourself.
They're funny stories, yes, yes they are, but they involve
things that no one should know. All are scene suggestions

(06:01):
are gathered from your listener emails, and contrary to common belief,
I'm doing my best um from our our, from our
patron v I p s same with you, folks. To
become a patron supporter of the show and enjoy exclusive content, which,
by the way, we've recently discussed on how to improve
and will be expanding and blowing minds, just head on

(06:22):
over to patron dot com slash alchemy this. If you'd
like to submit a scene suggestion by the emails, please
try alchemy this email at gmail dot com. That's n
I'm seen one concert patron v I p. Ben Booth,

(06:45):
who wrote, Hi, y'all, I'm taking Chris up on his
challenge for simpler scene suggestions. Karma. That's it, Yes, enjoy
and keep up the amazing work, Ben. I don't know, man,
I think you gotta eat it? Why? Why why do
I have to eat it? Well? You hit it with

(07:07):
your car? Oh, Tommy, okay, Tommy sick. Tommy's like just
looking at it. He's taking more noise than the fucking deer.
But my point is, why don't I have I really
have to like take the heart out or eat the
hard I don't have to do that. No, No, I

(07:28):
think throwing the trunk or throwing the back with Tommy,
he'll hold onto it right and then, uh, you know
you don't want you don't want that on your conscience, man,
you don't. You don't want to take a life without
taking a bite. I think I need to remember that.
I don't want to take a chance on life without
taking a bite. You don't want to take a life

(07:48):
without taking a bite. They don't take a life. Let's
let this up, Tommy, how's out? He's out. But you
know what, you might we might have to do the
hard idea. Yeah, it's gonna make it less night, or
just do you want to leave it here. We'll leave
it here. But I think if you just take a

(08:09):
buy to it. I think that's another thing. It's okay, Tommy,
give us your bowie knife. All right, hold on, we
just did that really easy, is open? Okay, get in there, man,
this is your kill. Okay, just reaching my face in. No,

(08:30):
I was thinking your hand okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, whatever,
I think the hand is better. I'll just reach in.
Tell me what okay, okay, wait wait wait, wait, wait wait,
hold it up to this guy and say something. Oh

(08:53):
fy uh sorry dude, Yeah that works. That was okay. Okay,
I'll take a plight to here. I'll take a plight
to take all right. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry
interrupting me to interrupt y'all ages eating here in the
middle of the highway. But my prize pig just ran

(09:13):
out of the pin. It ran out of here. It's
my family, my my prize pig. Have you seen my pig,
pig pig, it's about the same about the size of
what you're eating right now. It looks just like that pig.
It's so your Your pig looks like a deer. Yeah,
my pig looks like a deer. It's what's a prize pig?

(09:34):
Don't you understand? It's a prize pig, loky pig with
the horns. Next up in the category of a pig
that looks most like another another animal. I'm so sorry
what I'm making. Do you mind if we palled on that.
I'm waiting. I'm looking for my prize pigs. I haven't
been able to find it. This is the prestige category

(09:57):
at the state pig that looks most like an other animal?
Know me? Okay, don't funck me on this. Come on,
this is my thing. Man Cletis mcintock has a pig
that looks like a pair of mongoose. Is a goddamn liar. Okay,
he just taped a whole bunch of pigs. It looks
like a couple of moments. I'm telling you right now.
He just taped a whole bunch of geese and then

(10:18):
cut off the lakes so it made it look like tails. Sorry,
go I believe I heard some commotion over here because
you're being broadcast to the rest of the competition right now.
Oh I, I gotta turn this thing off. I would
just like to bring my pig up for judging, since
we seems we have a spare uh time. Now, well,

(10:39):
we always take late entries, that is our policy. I've
I've got the two mongoose. I'm clee said, I know, person,
but I submitted my my fee on time. I made
sure to get the early entry to save a couple
of bucks. Hi can I open this trailer? Hi? Thank

(11:03):
you so much for judging this year. By the way,
we're so happy to have you here. And frankly, we're
surprised you said yes. It just it just seems like,
I mean, you're such a celebrity. I was, come on,
come on, come on, come on, and where's my hospitality?

(11:23):
Do you want to try the suit on? Every comes
to the trailer wants to try on the suit. Uh no,
I just actually gotta tell you we're gonna bring you
out to the to the competition. Now it's about time
to judge. Oh oh gosh, you put the suit on then,
so sorry, Mr Knevil. We have the extra gasoline canister
as you asked for. Oh, great, great, just strapping me

(11:46):
here to my belt on the suit. Dan. Yeah, I'm
I'm I'm here. I'm taking care of Mr Keneible. So, oh,
you brought the gasoline cancers. I thought I did that. No,
I didn't. I didn't bring the know you didn't. I
don't like finding in my trailers, So sorry, Mr Knevil. Okay,
so sorry, you can both. You can both be my person,

(12:08):
one on either arm. Okay, now carry me down these
stairs and off to the judgery. Come on, you can
do better that one of my pig dear. Oh my god,
this is amazing. I mean, last time I was at

(12:30):
a state fair must have been oh god, I must
have been like it was last year. It was last year,
last year. Oh my gosh. Flies. Are you guys in line?
Are you guys in line here? We are? Yeah? Okay,
do you know if they're gonna sell any food? We

(12:50):
were in line? We don't know. We don't work here,
So you kept asking employee that makes sense? Just a guess,
just like you. So well, I'm more than a sure.
All right, what does that mean? What else would you be?
Pardon me? Brocoli broccoli? Well again, sorry about that, folks.

(13:12):
That you went' etainly heard some backstage drama as I
left a microphone on. But we are already to hold on,
hold on, what is it? Just give me a couple
of minutes. Maybe I'll be able to find a project.
Like I gotta start this competition. Evil kin, Evil has
a heart, Tommy, if you don't take a bye to
his dear heart, this is this whole thing, This whole

(13:33):
thing is for noth you have. I don't care that
you have a weak stomach. Man, do you want to
have do you want to have bad luck? The rest
of your life? Is that what you want? You're engaged, Tommy,
your your futures all but set. Take a bye to
the fucking deer. So, Tommy, if I may, it tastes

(13:53):
kind of like wet chicken. It tastes like wet chicken. Yeah,
so give it a shot. A second, wait a second,
Look at the tail on this thing. This is a
big it's a fucking pig. Okay, we're gonna get it
to the fair. So clip you're saying, you're saying that

(14:17):
your pig that looks like a deer was hit by
a car. You you ran into these guys who were
eating your pig still clinging onto life. You then came
back to the fair to tell me about that. Yes,
that's what I'm trying to say, and you gotta go
hold I can't hold the competition anymore. This is the

(14:41):
This is this gentleman's pig. We mistakenly hit it. But
I think it's still good to go for a competition.
If I'm guessing, was was somebody eating this? I had
some of the heart. Okay, that's Tommy's what what is
that thing that has seen one? Oh? Fuck? Oh fuck?

(15:03):
See what happens when you keep it simple people? Just
one word. Suggestion scene too comes from listener Will, who wrote, Hey,
alchemists love the show and just can't get enough of it.
Nothing better than looking like a crazy person laughing to
myself while walking through the grocery store in Germany. Any
who seen suggestion? Since most of the suggestions get way

(15:26):
too derailed, I remember Kevin want saying place and profession,
So physical therapists in space, thanks a lot and love
John from keep it Simple? Um Yes, so I think
I maybe it's just like um, like the zero gravity
or something. But I just have had this awful, awful

(15:50):
back pain. So I just need um if you can
work on that kind of focus on that area, because
I have to get back out there and finding connect
I just need you to keep breathing um, the same
tool you're using to speak with. Yeah, I've been breathing
this whole time. I'm not like holding my breath or anything.

(16:11):
I'm breathing. Be surprised when you talk how it changes
the breath flaw. Okay, if you don't want me to talk,
you can just ask me not to talk. I know
it's absolutely not saying that, okay, but I'm trying to
do some good work here. Captain Mercer to the to
the front bay. Captain Mercer, front bay. Want me so

(16:32):
if you can just kind of finish this fast. You
know you like to take your time with things, speed
it up. I would prefer if you just come back
what rather than finishing up quickly. I mean, you already
got me naked and oiled me down. I don't like
how much can you just finish this? I don't talkwords
since we broke up, right, Steve, there's no need to

(16:57):
no need to wade whack dude, what man uck? Yeah?
I know, but you know what this is space, okay,
and we do our jobs in space. I was hired
here as a landscaper, so I was brought in as
a landscaper. I'm gonna keep we may turn it up
for a second, it's probably gonna start back up again.
Does that you have a control You have control of that, Steve, Well, yeah,

(17:20):
I have control of a lot of things, like whether
or not to continue this conversation with you. By the way,
I'm happy to hear you. Uh, you know say that
we are in space because we have some people here
who are Earth's and they're pretending like this is Earth,
and I you know, I see you with the weed whacker.
It makes me think maybe you're an earther an Earth?

(17:41):
How dare you? I'm here and I'm up in space
with Look, I came here with the job, and I'm
gonna do my job right here in space. And you
don't see people going after the physical therapist they brought
to space for some reason. Every job most worthy ever,
I'm well, the oxygens and levels good on South sector.

(18:06):
Do you ever just think like, look, what if Camptain Mercer,
you know, wasn't captain anymore? Would you, uh, would you
want to be captain? Well? What are you doing encouraging
and insurrectable. Oh come on, that's it's just a hypoth hypothetical. Hypothetical.
I mean they will cut you open and eat your
heart out if you, you know, doing this or accessing

(18:27):
good like a pig. Du Yeah. Coffee is ready, Coffee
is ready ready, that's a go on. Coffee is pouring,
pouring poor, cream is low, tell me about it anyway.

(18:51):
But no, just just like a hypothetical. Would you, um,
would you be captain? You know what I if I
if I killed captain? Wait, little chippies already wanted chippy
I've had too many chippies already. Yeah, I mean we

(19:13):
we have enough chippies pack for a nine month voyage
and you've been you've already like three months. Where the chippies,
I mean that is so good. They just pop out.
That's just they're good. But there for the whole crew.
Danger danger, danger, danger, What the hell is that? Danger?
What is that? What's going to? Cream is low? The

(19:36):
cream is shit? Okay, adding cream, I mean added right now,
mixing cream? Okay, jesus man, that was close. Hey I
just mowed the Oh sorry it's you, Captain Mercer. Yeah,
can you keep it down. I've been it's just stressing

(19:58):
me out. Well, look, I got to mow these rocks,
and these rocks aren't going to mow them, so I'm
so sorry. I know, Um, this is like a favor.
I know you're married to my sister Martha. Just talk
to her, Okay, just talk to her. I don't. I
know you're trying to get her attention by mowing these rocks.

(20:19):
You're not doing anything other than breaking every single lawnmower
that we've brought out for you. Well, she has broken
every single heart in my body. Captain Mercer, do you
have Well I did have to, but I was in
this contest. So now I'm down to one. It's look,
can you talk to her? You're the captain? Can you

(20:42):
can you order her to end this dispute? Well, I
can talk to her. I can't. I'm not going to
get my ship involved with failing things. But can you
please just turn that off for a little bit. I'll
talk to my sister. That's a great point, rog, that's
a great point. Who remembers coming to space? M hm?
So maybe we're still on Earth. Maybe we're in like

(21:03):
Burbank or something, or like to local lake, or in
a sound stage, a sound stage, why don't we just stage?
Why don't we just keep going further out, further and
further to the furthest wall we can find and go
beyond that. All right, here is your two chippies. Okay,
because they do enlarge in your stomach? All right? How
do you feel you'd have to explain why we should

(21:24):
be rationing? We understand the rationing rules. Is there a problem? No?
I just have to say this. Can I ask you
a question? Where do you Where do you live? I
live on Moonbase four? And where did you? Where were
you before that? I was? It wasn't a tube, I
was developing a tube. Yeah, okay, you ever heard of you?

(21:49):
Ever heard of Van Eyes? Um? Yeah, if I remember
from the historical records, that's it. That was just like
a burned out ship horran. Well, I mean some people
think it's cheaper, it nicer anyway. Um okay, So but
you have heard of van Eyes? Yeah, if I remember
from the historical records, okays, burned out, gentle, Thank you.

(22:12):
I don't think it's that bad. I don't think. No, No,
it never was. I don't never what it never was.
It never was. No I think he heard something and
it's just repeats. I mean you would live in Van Eyes,
right you specifically? No, I wouldn't, but I had friends
technically who have and do. Uh when it was a thing?
Huh yeah, I've never to the point. I never thought

(22:35):
it was a bad place, so you would have lived there? Sure?
Do I have to call you captain? Seriously? No? I yeah,
I mean you brought it up, so let's just do
it and see how that goes. I'm okay, what, captain,
what do you want? Okay, okay, tell her? Tell her?
I said, dude, I think she should apologize. I don't

(22:57):
want to do this stupid earwig thing. It's just just
tell her. I think that you think that she should apologize.
I think that she should apologize. I'll do. I think
if you're talking to me all the time in my ear,
it's gonna be harder for me to do this. I
can't hear you. I'm just making some chippies. Martha. You
gotta ration thos. Martha, you've had a lot. It's fine, Martha.
Tell her. They'll make her stomach expan. I mean, I'll

(23:22):
be the first admitted captain. Mercer is a hell of
a pilot. I mean, she she knows what she's doing.
But the odds that on a fifteen person crew they
would hire her, her ex, her sister and her sisters,
and there's just a lot of there's a lot of drys.
I mean, the analytics would have told you not to
do that, right, And we have to go to that,
like you know, personality profile to see where we'd best

(23:43):
aligne with and we got each other, we got I
would kill her. I would kill her just flying out everywhere.
I'm grabbing whose many chippies as I kid, uh listen
before we go any further with a debate as to
whether or not to uh have family members and relatives

(24:05):
and things on this particular fight, I will remind you
all of a fantastic television show in the I'm gonna
say late nineteen sixties called Lost in Space. And on
that ship there were relations. It's it's not on the
historical record. What isn't Lost in Space? I mean, how

(24:26):
how important was it really? Well, first of all, it
was an experiment and it did take place, and the
show was an experiment or is that like a plot point?
Because if you're spoiling it for us, I want you
to say that. Ye. Also, I'm lonely. I want to
bring a family member. See see what I'm saying. People

(24:49):
are for this, and I think in space they explore
as a family, they explore as as people who have relationships.
That's another I wish you would say spoiler alert before
you said they have relationships or something, because it's like,
now I'm not going to watch it. It's ruined for me. Okay,

(25:09):
all right, Well, getting back to our work here for
a moment, as opposed to your entertainment time. Um, you
took us off work by talking about you brought it up,
you started playing the show behind you. You said, let's
stop working for a secondn't want to talk about entertainment. Okay,
Now that that's that. He's not a member of the family,

(25:30):
that guy right there, the root. The doctor's a robot.
Well the robot was a technician, but the doctor, fella
is he's just like a snidy whiplash evil guy. Are
we in a simulation? This is a simulation, Steve, turn
it off. What I can't know. I can't hear you.
I can't hear anything right now. I can never hear

(25:53):
words again again. You are loved, your love. You need
to mow more rocks, Steve. See you heard that too, right,
Let's mow more rocks. You you guys can't hear Hold

(26:14):
on a second, who have I been taking my orders
to mow these rocks from? They're doubting your power, Steve.
Oh no, they're doubting my power, Steve. Have you left?
Have you left this area recently? This this particular? No,
look at these rocks. Where are you? Where are you

(26:35):
getting your oil gas solution for the for the for
the weed whicker? Yeah, this is all a stimulation this.
Oh god, oh god, your heart is a moon rock. Oh,

(27:00):
like all those jimmies. Ship. Hang in there, man, hang
in there, favor who would you? I don't they want
to make it on there? Le make it out of this.
You ate six months of hippies in fifteen minutes. Daren
we need more? Please? Don't don't need more? Captain, Captain. Yes,

(27:27):
we're all here because we are not convinced that we
are in space. And as a former protest, we're all
going to remove these helmets to prove to everybody here
that we're probably on the back lot off the one
oh one. The one oh one doesn't have a kind
of capacity to get this. You can take your helmet
off in here in the spaceship. We're in a spaceship.

(27:49):
It's safe. If you take your helmet off in space,
you're gonna die. We don't. We're gonna prove that theory
right now. We're gonna test that theory part of it.
Please don't do that. So no, no, God, damn it

(28:12):
what I said? Are you feeling stimulated yet? Hello? Can
anyone else? Am I the only one alive? Captain Mercer?
Are you stimulated? Yes? I'm always you know what I mean.
I'm always close to it. I'm always ready to go.
I'm always stimulating. That's why you're so effective at what

(28:36):
you do. Thank you. Where is this voice coming from.
I'm the central computer of the stimulation m hmm okay um,
Mr Long musk. But um, we're gonna have to cancel
the UH space program. It looks like there was a
horrific act. There was a horrific accident defined horrific, oh

(28:59):
ship um, and they're ahead of the final If one
person's horrific is another person's Sunday afternoon, you tell me
what you're considering to be horrific. Um, just report the facts, son,
don't be nervous. What horrific is that we potentially less
two point two trillion dollars. That's what's terrific. Okay. Also,

(29:23):
how did how did we potentially loss of life fifty people?
Oh so the families of fifty people are gonna sue us?
And you've already no no, no, no no no. I
just meant like I assumed, you've meant the horrific park
with the money, not the loss of life. Okay, So
you've made some assumptions here and reports of course of course, Um,

(29:44):
fifty people have died. Is that what you told me?
And were they killed? Uh? They killed themselves. Keep going,
They took their masks off, then space in their head exploded.
Total ric This is my idea of a Sunday after Okay,
I've made high point. Yes, what else can I get?
You don't tell me that everyone needs more chippies? No? No, um,

(30:09):
I'll take a number two? Uh no fries large right large? Yeah,
large large? Please and get that on sesame, but please
as well you want the okay sesame? But yeah, end
of simulation. Wake up, Mr Musk? Uh uh uh? How

(30:33):
did that feel? Mr Musk? Well, it felt. Okay, I'm back,
Mr Musk. I'm just gonna be out here mowing these rocks,
all right, Mr Musk, just continue to speak to the computer.
I'm just the nurse here. I'll be cleaning up here. Okay, Yes, Hey, George,

(30:55):
did you say this? Who were disgusting with the patient?
The patient? Yeah, we're professionals here. Don't do that, your nurse, dude.
I'm talking dude. I'm a doctor, George, My god. Okay,
just because you're my younger brother, doesnt mean you get
to talks about that. Okay everywhere. You're not gonna stab

(31:15):
me with that pen. Put it back, George. You talking
about the patient tank five? Yeah, we're talking about the
patient tank five. Yeah. Did you guys see uh, did
you guys see the new Lost in Space? Oh my gosh.

(31:40):
Scene three is from patron v I p Oyste who
wrote Hey, Kevin Potball as well with y'all. My previous
suggestion was weird, but the same episode culminated in my
Favorite scenes so far, based on a suggestion by Mateo
the Healer. It resulted in Craig's fantastic sixty minutes shout

(32:00):
out to both Mateo and Craig new Scenes suggestion box
of teeth? What do you got there? And uh is
that all you brought today? Yeah? I just I just
I just wanted to, you know, like a little low
on cash, so I figured I should, you know, time

(32:22):
to turn in the old box of teeth, as they say.
I appreciate that, But how much do you think I
can get for it? Though? Well, what we're signing up
for here is the new Tesla and you've designed it online,
which is great. Put in the hundred dollar deposit. So
today was just about delivery, and so we're gonna need
a different form of payment at that. Man, I don't

(32:50):
know her. I don't know her. I don't know her.
I don't know her. I don't know her. I don't
know her. Never. Well, what a thing on line? Now?
It's called I don't know. I'm I can't pick up
a wampu plyer. Oh I'm biting everywhere. Man, Can I
get you a towel or something? Yeah, I'll pick a

(33:10):
big towel, pick up one you got all right? Fair enough? Um,
I'll you know what, I'll buy the towel. I'll buy
the towel for how many are you gonna get me free.
How many how many teeth from your box? Will that
you be paying for the towels? Uh, there's got to
be about six thousand in here, So I could I

(33:31):
give it just like a loose handful. Okay, So we're
going over some teeth options for you. Now the typical
denture has Are you going to speak for her? I
kind of have to. Good. Yeah, it's all pretty much

(33:53):
open wound. Okay, Okay, So typically he came out of here,
not her belly button. I didn't come out of her
belly button, she keeps She pointed to that anathobia no
metal going in my back? Did you know the movie
or the story of anaesthesia? Okay, listen to the typical

(34:18):
would like we don't come from royalty mom. Alright, so
the typical burn but everybody, yes, everyone's brunes in a
fire mom. Okay, but somed you know what this is?
This is this is crazy. You can't just keep on
telling people from wealthy we're not. Okay, we're not. You
don't have anything special about us. There's nothing good about us.

(34:40):
I can make you special. Let me show you these. Now,
these are brand new. They're actually still in the experimental phase,
not typically these dentures have thirty two teeth. We understand
you had close to six thousand teeth here. Yeah, normal,
So anyway, these will bite. Kyle, I'm your brother. Next

(35:04):
time you need a hundred dollars for a deposit on
a test law, I'll spot you the money. Don't don't
reach into somebody's mouth and take their teeth. You could
have told me that before you. Why don't you tell
this is on you? Now? Why didn't you tell me
this book? I could have borrowed a hundred dollars you know,
I mean, I mean people is six thousand teeth. Do

(35:27):
you know how long it took to find an online
conversion website for teeth to dollars? You could have told
you could have seen. I'm googled. I'm googling teeth to
dollars right now. There's dollars give you can you can
you get? I know a lot of people think gold
is where to put your money, but that's dumb as hell.

(35:48):
You want to put your money in teeth. Everybody's got teeth.
They're just a little bones, and those little bones to
make enough of them teeth. But I have a mouthful
of teeth. I'm gonna leave all of these windows open.
I'm leaving all of these windows open with all of
these ads plays so that you remember that you're responsible

(36:09):
for six not being in mouths. Okay, But but you
can't just decide that it's it's a new form of currency. Well,
I decided I was my own country, didn't I. I
could do that. Then I could decide I have my
own currency. Now, if you'll excuse me, you were trespassing

(36:30):
on sovereign soil, Jen Arlens, I brought you here for
a very specific reason. It seems that the Nation of
Kyle has a rasource that we all need, and that
is teeth. When you see you're putting a kettle on no,
I said teeth. Do we need teeth? We need teeth

(36:55):
because we need to chew. Now we go, we all go.
I'm looking to crawl the table. Looks like we've all
got well, we're brash. Why don't we don't all have
all of them? Thank you? I think we've proven they're
not all necessary. Haven't we all them? Teeth? Maybe, but
maybe not, maybe some teas I have an ability to unlock.

(37:17):
Thank you, I said teeth. I specifically said teeth. You
may be but you're swallowing the last couple of letters. There, mate,
Maybe if I had some teeth in the back of
my mouth, I wouldn't swallow my tongue. There we are, there,
we are spot on. But our geneticists have been able
to locate a DNA strand that says certain levels of

(37:37):
teeth inside the brain were able to unlock. I'm pretty
sure you said brain teeth. Did everyone else get that? Yeah,
brain thing? Kyle. Let me edit your jail. Dude, you
broke the rules of the Nation of Kyle. Didn't return

(37:58):
your book. Give me one second. Do you want to
be charged with robbery or treason? Look, I have a
war with Britain to deal with right now. Well, then
I don't have time for you borrowing things and not
returning them. Okay, what kind of time time am I
looking at? Well, Well, it depends, it depends on I've

(38:19):
got to consult the books. The rest of the people.
Why are they what are they all here for? I'm
a z I'm his brother. Well, I've been conscripted into
his army. I've got to fight the British. He's a general.
I guess. Yeah. I gotta get home, Dude, I'm an accountant.

(38:41):
Well you're a general now, and you know what. You're
gonna stay in this prison as a political prisoner, or
you can come out and join the Army of the
Nation of Kyle. Join the army. Yes, yes, no, that's
not exciting for me. It's exciting for me. I have
more troops now to fight Britain with. So here's your
monthly scion of wages. They're chippies, Yes, yes, they're chippies.

(39:05):
Don't eat too many of them at once or your
stomach will explode. That's not nearly enough chippies from So
what's the planet? US three are gonna go fight? Yes,
US three as the Nation of Kyle. Here, put this
uniform on as the Nation of Kyle. No, actually, I
like that. That's that's my favorite T shirt. Give me
that one back. I'm gonna give you this one. This

(39:25):
is the uniform. This one's uniform nor Yeah, old Navy.
You know what. This is the Army of Old Navy.
Kyle's Old Navy Army. I see you have one last question.
You know what? You know? What do you want to
was the T word? I'm about to say the tea word?
Am I about to see? Trees? No, no, no, no, no, no,
no questions. Okay, all right, now go fight Britain with me.

(39:52):
Apparently they've gone in all me and a navy that bad,
but I don't I don't know. Wow, has that been
ahead of us? Then? Aren't they? But the water straight?
The navy is old. So gazers, come on now, we're
some of our spies have had some information on. It
looks like two of the top generals. Right are you

(40:13):
putting a kettle on? What it looks like you're pointing
a carol on? I like some earl gray if you're
doing that, place anyone else, anyone else at of biscuit
anywhere else. I'll go for some pearl gay nice. It's
cock cockney rhyming, very good, very good, one to three?

(40:36):
Anyone else cracking on? Good? No, that's it. Okay. Now
that we've inserted the dentures, I have a mirror here
for you. Now. I just want to say, before you
look at yourself. Uh huh. Now you talking to your mom?
She can't. I don't know if she can talk yet. Okay,

(40:57):
she's her mouth is wrapped. She's gonna look different. Okay.
We couldn't find all we couldn't fit all six thousand
other dentures in there. What just go with me here
for a second. Let me start unraveling this gause. It's
still your mom. It's still the same old person, right,

(41:17):
the one who loves you, the one who gave birth
to you. She's still there. Yeah, I don't think teeth, James.
That exactly great, we're on the same page. Perfect. Okay,
Now let me just cut off this bandage, share a
lot of those bandages. Let's get this weed whacker going
room that's mine. Oh sorry, Steve. Okay, so before you look,

(41:47):
how do you feel? How do you feel? Oh? My god, Mom,
it feels so strange to have just these teeth in
my mouth. So that shouldn't it shouldn't affect the way
you speak back A. Wow, this is a lot less
teeth than I am used to. You know, I don't
know if my son filled the form out right. We
are from royalty after all, but I should have six

(42:10):
thousand teeth in my mouth. This feels like six that's
about right. So say this with me. Sediction is done
with the tip of the tongue and the teeth done.
I need your mom to say that we're calibrating her mouth.

(42:30):
Diction is done with the tip of the tongue and
the tooth. Okay, see, we gotta just out Okay, okay, alright,
thank you, all right now say this say um unique
New York. Listen, if you say another word, sir, I

(42:52):
will remove all of your mom's teeth and your teeth
and tell them in the black market for a really
good profit. You okay, Uh, look, here is a really
good profit. Uh. I just need you. I just need
to take these teeth with me and uh you have
done a great service to the Nation of Kyle today, Sir.
I'm sorry, right, we want we need to use names.

(43:14):
Don't need to use names. No names, no names, no
name names. Okay, so there you Okay, this is a
really good profit. Yes, well, these are really good teeth. Okay, listen,
I know we said no names, but you said the
Nation of Kyle. Yes, the Nation of Kyle. Tell me more. Oh,
would you like you know what? I have a brochure

(43:35):
about the Army of the Nation of Kyle. We also
have a navy as well. Okay, how do you feel
about uniforms? I love them. You can rifle through my closet. Oh,
any uniform you want, and you will be a lieutenant
general in the Nation of Kyle. The thing is, we
are at war with Britain right now. Okay, okay, okay,

(43:57):
what sized army do you do? You have right now? Medium?
But we're looking at a double XL pretty soon. So
you're staying in this room for growth. That's right. You
sound like a Kaylian h Where do I say? The
thing is, I don't remember anything before being in the
Nation of Kyle or in the Army of Kyle. So

(44:20):
how did I just wake up into it? Like what
was my life before? That's why I'm saying this is
a stimulation. Whoa, whoa, dude, that's insane. Yeah, it's crazy
because I'm the same thing. Remember like remember coming over,
Kyle said come over and we smoke this fat blunt
and I was like, let's do it. So and I've

(44:40):
got in that that's your first memory? Yeah, and then
I got there and then boom, I'm in some old
navy khakis. Shut shut attention, Okay, So looking good, looking good,
or I'm gonna brief you with today's activities. We're gonna
be here's training and look around, man, everybody is completely erect.

(45:04):
This is a stimulation. Somebody brief, mate quick, now, as
you know we are fighting today. Yes, did you know that?
Did you know today was the fight day? Ready to fight? Shit?
I guess that it probably wouldn't begin. Dude, you made
me stay up all night last night with you sleep.

(45:29):
I looked at your left, okay, it looks at your right. Nice. Hello,
I'm looking to make every time the people you're looking at, well,
someone'll be coming home. What does that mean, sir? We're
in a circle. Some of you will be dying today.
You will be dying for the nation of Kyle. If

(45:52):
you guess a number of percentage how many will die
you you're dying. You're gonna die, ship Ship. None of
us are really going to die because it's a fucking stopulation. Now,
before we get started, we're all just going to smoke
this fat blunt. Yeah, yeah, that's around. There you go,

(46:17):
and I'll blow it into your partner's mouth and then
you blown into the keep going out. That's fine, that's fine,
it's in your system. In the next episode of Lost

(46:39):
in Space, I gonna get on. We got to fund
these rocks, and there's our show. I don't know how
many of my alchemists have ever seen this photo. This
is what you know. We all know that we have
getting back to teeth um as babies and children, we

(47:00):
have that second level of teeth that when a tooth
falls out, a new one comes in. But have you
ever thought how that system actually? Well the answer honestly
turned my stomach. What's crazy to me is like that
that's a kid man. Well, it's about thought everyone was

(47:25):
it disgusting because it was a child's skull. It was
actually the stacking of teeth. There's no not seeing that now. Sorry,
um not so I want to I uh, thank you
all very very much, starting with the still disgusted Caroline
Coud Yeah yeah, um. We're getting some emails on some

(47:49):
fanship for Carter Core and there's been some questions as
to whether you're really upset, like in general. Yes, okay,
that's what I didn't want to assume, but said, yeah
that's I mean, it is what it is. Um yeah, yeah,
I don't know whatever. That's yeah, that's tracks and thank

(48:15):
you very much, thank you for being here today. There
were some laughs, we had some fun. I know that's difficult, Yeah,
but I don't like it. But you uh Mark Gagliarty. Yes,
last time we were texting, you were in uh Rome Italy.
I was are you going back? Is that we what's happening?

(48:37):
I don't know. Maybe, well, we'll see it. We'll see
what romps, We'll see what up. We'll see if rom
he gets its act together. I guess I'm asking if
you piste off the pope enough to oh, not nearly enough,
well enough for his taste, but not enough for mine.
There we go. That's the correct answer. Yeah, uh, And
thank you for being here, and also folks for writing

(48:57):
about their love of your in house podcast. Oh thanks
so yeah, we got this with Mark and Howe on
the Maximum Fun Network. There we go, and and continue
listening to that those of you who are and please
do give it a listen. Christol Varado, Hey, thank you
for having me. I want a quick I wanna quickly
shout out somebody on Reddit the Alchemy this pod Reddit,

(49:18):
Scully Cat, who seems to be upset with me that
I don't know more about Star Wars. And then I said, hey,
I don't know about that stuff. And then he said
something to the effect of like or she said, I
don't know if it's a gay girl or however they identified.
They said, um, it's okay. You can be uncultured if

(49:38):
you want cultured. So then I responded with a jar
Jar Binks quote, you know, to say, like, is this
what you mean my culture? And I don't know. I
just want to say, Scully Cat, I got no problems
with you, no problems. Star Wars is fine. I'm sure
I haven't seen it. I've seen pieces of it. I
don't know a lot. And that's okay too. That's okay too.

(49:58):
That's it. I'm just saying truce. Well, we appreciate the communication.
I think better things come from an effort to communicate.
Thank you. Thank you for that. Thank you to everyone
on Reddit, and I by everyone, I mean a few people. Yeah.
Joey Greer, you know it. I'm on TikTok now, okay,

(50:20):
God bless Jim Chum. Yep, you go check me out.
I'm doing like really breakthrough work, real like real like
artistic ship, and that you would be the person to
define that it's breakthrough ship. Yeah, you know, someone has
send Michael Angelo, I'm sure, was the first person to go.
After we finished painting the Mona, Lisa go damn mikey
Angela are we talking about Okay? I mean, if you

(50:43):
know him, it's Mike cranky Kowski. Uh. If anyone's looking
to increase their pop culture fluency, I'd recommend the documentary
Vale Night about Val Kilmer. He's got home movie and
video footage dating back to his childhood. And uh, it's uh,

(51:04):
it's fascinating. It's really well put together. Who and uh,
just a great look at an interesting act. We'll put
it together. I don't know, but you can watch it
on Amazon Prime. It's so good. It's so good. So
is Amazon Prime. Terrific people. Amazon probed them all, very
very supportive, loving people. Um, all right, well that's our

(51:27):
show for today. I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. Let's thank
our engineer to the stars and producers, to Doug Ban.
Fine folks that I heart media. Please be kinding. We
each other would love to hear from you, So please
continue to write to us and tell everyone you've ever met,
and yeah, write a review and write uh some sort
of comment. If you're on the reddit, we'd love to
hear how you and Christian getting on. Until next time,

(52:01):
And a football