April 26, 2022 • 52 mins
Kindergarten class science fair develops nuclear bomb / pepper nipples.
Wild time at airport arrivals.
Why are your shoes wet?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Well, come back to another episode of Alchemy. This son
your host Kevin po Yes, that Kevin Pomp was that
well as I see it. If you did, we had
to do. I mean, the man did have your wife's
name in his mouth. But I digress. Let's meet, shall we,
and no particular order. Let's quickly check in with James
Heeny for his two late night Snacks review. Johnny Jim,
(00:25):
I like to have caramel along with peanut, butter and chocolate.
I like to have textures, sweetnesses, salts, uh, pretzels and
ice cream. Yeah. I love late night treats. It's what
keeps me. Um, it gets me to bed fast. I
think if I eat a lot of sugar, I crashed
in just the right way. I knew to come to
(00:45):
you with this made up category. What the hell does Jackie? Hey,
Jackie Jim, what would you consider an ideal setting for
a picnic with Dr Faucci? Oh, with Vouch, I then
I definitely wanted to be unless I wanted to be
a more a private a more private area of a park. Um,
(01:12):
we want to be able to be physically distanced from
a lot of people. Um. Honestly, me and Fouch, I'll
take him to Let's take him on top of a mountain.
Let's get horse, Let's let's take horses to get there. Um,
let's make it Wyoming and let's be in Grand Tea,
(01:33):
Tom Park, I think he'd love that. No, Mark calls
pencils down. We have a winner. Hey, heads up, people
until saying as president doctor sing if your dad guess correctly,
why did you decide to not become a doctor? Um?
We we have already a couple in the family. So
I was like, sure, you know, it's just so repetitive
(01:53):
and uh, you're a true original. Yeah. And I was like,
you know, do I want everyone in the Emily's approval? No, No,
I don't. And so I feared left. And it's been
it's been fun all along. Yeah, that's the spirit. Uh.
And last, but no more room in the overhead if
you think at least it's cold Stratton mellow. Weird to
(02:18):
have us both on the same time. Yes, I wanted
to prove to the universe it could happen. Uh. Competitive
Broadway enthusiasts please answer the following question in the appropriate language.
Is one in fact in the library? Is one in
fact in the library? Is one in the library. Okay,
(02:44):
I don't know how to answer this, but I'm gonna
say yes, Oh so in the appropriate language. You did
not study Spanish in school? No, did not took French.
And how's that going? Really good? Really super handy? Okay,
then let rephrase the question. Is Pierre in fact in
the library? We can't I remember what it is in
(03:12):
those things? Correct? See? Is it not true that you
can just say it with a French accent and that's
library A live boy reading a book. Yeah, do that, James,
next time you're in France. They love it. They have
(03:34):
no problem with Americans doing that. Let's do a damn show.
All of our scene suggestions are gathered from your listener
emails or from your patron v I P messages. Um
yeah so v IP uh patron and alchemy x they
get priority in the scene suggestion. If you listen to
(03:54):
the show, you probably noticed that the fan mail emails
still get their suggest listed. All have a few, um
every well at least one every show. But if you
want to be a patron supporter and have exclusive content
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(04:15):
am right now, or at the highest level of the alchemaniac.
You might have a chance to join us one of
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dot com slash alchemy. This. When I say joined, I
mean in the fucking zoom did um. If you like
it's listen to met a scene suggestion via email. We
we love it, please, my goodness, yes, we love your
(04:37):
emails right to us at Alchemy is email at gmail
dot com. It's document email at gmail dot com. Seen one,
in fact come from Patron v I P. Chris, who wrote,
Hello Alchemist, quick scene suggestion. Kinder garden class has a
science project where the winner develops a nuclear bomb. If
(04:58):
that's too worthy, and how about this one pepper nipples? Well,
I'll leave it up to you alchemists. Thanks for the laughs.
Chris from Richmond. Congratulations Jeremy, you've won your first place
in the King's Hill Elementary Science There. You know what
(05:21):
that means. My nipples are getting super peppery. So you're
excited because you get to develop a new clear bomb.
Wait what Yes, we loved your project about which diaper
holds the most liquid and we wanted to give you,
(05:42):
as the first place winner, a very special treat and
that is the development of a nuclear bomb new apprentices
where they're going to be bringing back. They're whisking you away, Jeremy,
whisking me away. You just gonna get like a ribbon
and maybe like a gift card to Olive Garden or something.
(06:07):
I need you to put on z here. This is
going to be your lap cold when you work with us.
Uh and and there's going to be a van to
put both of us up. Now a van. Wait, at
least tell my parents I'm going some place. Usually the
parents come to the science Fair and the fact that
they're not here, yikes. So don't worry. I've signed the
forms for them. I know the signature right now, So
(06:28):
you're going to go. Don't worry. We could let you
say goodbye to the van is here, but maybe say
goodbye to friends. Jeremy, Jeremy here, Yeah, yeah, Okay, signed
this man, let's go. Okay, Well, Jeremy, I'm sorry we
didn't have time, but there's gonna be lots of new
(06:50):
friends making nuclear bomb. Okay, Okay, congratulation. Oh such a
nice teacher. Thanks Miss Cunningham. Um. All right, by Mr President,
I just have an update for you regarding the new
designs of a nuclear arsenal, it seems are plans to
(07:13):
use elementary schools is coming along shockingly. Well, great, this
is great, fantastic, it is terrific news. I do have
a sidebar if I may. Hey, that's why you're chief
of staff, because you can. You can have me for sidebars. Yeah, yeah,
(07:36):
and thank you again for that. Really has been a
pleasure to serve. It's just that the arsenal itself is
really tiny, um, which some folks in the military are
whining about because they have to step up their accuracy.
And so I would like your blessing because I don't
(07:57):
need your permission. We've discussed that before. I'd like your
sing in giving him talking to in terms of their
attitude the military, of the scientists, the entire military, the military.
You wanna only things super excited about the young signs. Yeah.
I think it's a way with the future speaks well,
(08:18):
the future long after you and I are Carl. Let
those military guys know what's up, all right, Thank you, sir.
And uh put fifty bucks on the Warriors for me tonight,
you know, oh, uh for the series or just for
the single game single game over Yeah, Oh, the barriers
and the over parlay. Yeah, teaser, yeah, teaser? You know, okay, cool? Thanks, yes,
(08:43):
of course, and and the usual amount sir, one trillion,
one trillion. We're gonna get out of this debt if
I hit this right. Yeah, I mean it's got to
work eventually, right, So, General, what do you mean that
we're all on time out in this regiment? I don't
understand time out? What is that? No matter what it
(09:05):
means is corporal. We're gonna stand down for a minute
and re re uh Now, how should I put this
so I don't get hashtag canceled redesign our output of
(09:27):
arsenal in in using the original h ship man. We're
gonna bomb more accurately as I've been told, so until
we can figure out how the fund to do that,
we're gonna take ourselves at time out? And do I
need to keep myself in the corner? Do I need
(09:47):
to keep staring into the corner? Yeah? What what makes
you think that question is going to change your situation?
I don't know, Genera all Um, I'm not entirely sure
it does. Accuracy matters so much if we can make
it so that it expands to a great deal of area.
You know what I mean, Like, does it need to
(10:09):
if I need to hit a football, but I hit
a football stadium, is not like, well, I don't get it, stupid.
Can you hear the sound of my voice? Yeah? Yeah,
Accuracy is what separates us from the animals. Okay, yeah, right, Well,
how are we going to do that with the nuclear bob?
(10:33):
I'm not there. I'm with private stupid here. I feel
like if we if the blast radius is big enough,
it's kind of all encompassing. And and I mean, as
long as we're on the right football stadium, I feel
like that's well, that seems to be the issue is
finding the damn football stadium. Yes, of course, if you
could drop a bomb inside the whole of a stadium,
(10:55):
let's say, arbitrarily the Dallas Cowboys, then uh, alright, got
the Dallas Cowboys lined up? What was that? Yeah, they
have that open roof. It's open, so Operation Cowboys, it
go Operation Cowboys Cowboys. Yeah, No, that's not what I carl.
(11:20):
Uh just got the briefing here. The Dallas Cowboys stadium
is no longer standing? Is that? Well, sir, this goes
back to the owner of the team saying that they
were America's football team, and that just didn't sit well
with the rest of the country. You know, it's sports
tend to be a regional, very reasonal very reason professional
(11:44):
in particular. Well, I'm from Iowa, so there who would
be your team? We cheer for the colleges Iowa State,
University of Iowa. Drake not the Way Up Earth, the
why not the rapper? Sir? You know, um, I like
(12:05):
him him two of his songs, sir, Well, there's a
start at the bottom. That's that's what I really. That
was my campaign song. It was We're still We're still
asking his permission and then also I'll throw back a
little bit further at a hotline bling That was always fun,
a great video, almost sure campaign song as well as
(12:28):
Yeah yeah, we tried that one and uh, the numbers
didn't farewell until we changed it. No, they did not.
So you'll see. What we want to do is we
want to make this big nuclear bomb. You know those
snap pops that you throw at the ground and they pop. Yeah,
those are fun. You put them out like you throw
them at their feet and they freak out. Yeah, we
(12:50):
want to make it so just one act and blows up.
So it's a very small atom bomb, but you could
throw it at the ground a little tiny ones. So
you want me to develop a tiny atom bomb? Yeah,
just very so. So it only has little tiny nuclear explosions,
just one tiny atom. Do you know that my experience
(13:10):
is limited to diaper water retention? Right? That's what I
got my science first. Of course, of course that's five
wanted to bring you because we make big ones. Look
at how big this is. If you if it exploded it,
it could very well crack an asteroid in half. But
we just want the tiny one. So maybe just a little.
We want you to make a little tiny nuclear I mean,
(13:33):
I'll try. I don't I don't know that much about
fission and reactions and things. Um, the way you're talking,
you already know more than I do. This is great,
This is great. Let me introduce you to your team. Okay, alright,
so this year, uh, none of them are going to
be quite as experienced as you, but they are also
(13:54):
winners of their schools competitions. This is Terry. Terry. Terry
made a volcano at her school. It was different because
I didn't use baking soda and vinegar. I actually used
coca cola. And a mento, and that's why this is
(14:15):
a kind of explosive we want to deal with here. Okay,
that makes sense. Well not you, I mean I think
this you would know how you fit into the planet
the nuclear prop right, doctor, doctor Dr Frankenburger, Can I
ask that question, please, Frankenburger, go ahead, yeah, Frankenberger. My
(14:36):
dad says that you're not actually German, but you put
on you talk like an accent because you don't know
any of the words. Well, your dad, he's never pent
to Germany. I can tell you're like a piece of
wonder bread. You never leave United States. My my dad
(14:57):
has been to Germany, he said, And um, it's possible
my mom packed him a lunch. I don't know that
that's true. I can't. I can't say one way or
another for your daddy. All right, but I here, let
me show you some pictures. Let's count to ten in
German together. Okay, you go first. Ms Cunningham. I've come
(15:24):
to pick up my son and he's Jeremy right, he's
nowhere to be found. I've talked to some of his
classmates and they don't seem to be the brightest um,
not as bright as Jeremy, and he actually won first
place in in the science fair, so it's very very exciting.
(15:46):
Stuffed and so some operatives who work for the government
took him away to develop a nuclear bomb that is
kind of the size of one of those snap pops. Um.
There's so many questions. Congratulations, I guess I should be
proud of him for being accepted into national How do
(16:08):
you have so much clearance to talk about the program?
Oh my god, who do you know? What are you
gonna tell? You're gonna say? Don't say anything. Okay, that's
just me and you. That was a little mistake. It
was a little slip up. Take me to see my son,
or I tell the world what's happening at this elementary school. Okay,
So I know details of like actually what he's doing,
(16:30):
but I don't know the details of where he is.
You know. It's like finding a football in a football stadium.
There could be anywhere. Too soon after the Cowboys thing,
I know, I'm sorry, yeah, sorry, that has seen one
that is too soon. I seen two comes froms from
listener Danny T. That's rights involved in patron a listener
(16:56):
Danny T who wrote, Hello, welcome, I start driving to
get my wife from the airport and her Kevin's call
to action. Even though I've sent plenty ideas which I
thought were comedy gold, I guess they sucked. I kid. Anyways,
seems suggestion wild time at airport arrivals from Danny in Saskatchewan. Sir,
she's she's about to walk out, officer. So I mean
(17:20):
you're saying your wife is about to walk out the
luggage from baggage claim. Yeah, I have it all. Yeah.
And what's her name? Tricia? So as every woman comes
out of baggage claim, if I just yelled Tricia, eventually
one of them will turn and it'll be your wife. Yeah. Yeah,
she texted and she said, I'm I'm coming out. Oh,
(17:41):
fair enough, show me the text I'd love to see.
Here you go, scroll scroll. This is my friend Trevor's text. Uh,
this is not it. There Cindy. Who's Cindy Wait, colleague.
We're scientists down at the Adam Center, so it was
an interesting photo since Cindy sent you from work. Yeah, yeah,
we're trying on some new wardrobe bombs. I can't I
(18:02):
shouldn't even be discussing this with you in public. But
total work do you do, sir? Scientists and we're scientists
at the Adam Center. It's really all I can get into.
The Atom Center. Oh yeah, named after Adam Divine. Yes, yes, yeah.
A lot of people say a T O M, but
it's not it's a D. Yeah. A lot of people
(18:23):
think Adam Levine and it's not Adam Divine, which is
pronounced differently. Well, we don't need to get into it,
so don't don't we? Sure? Um, but I can't really
tell you anymore. Um, we're just down here in the highway.
When you know where belt line is, that's where our
secret facilities are. Really shouldn't be saying any of this.
And your wife checked you what now seems like nine
(18:44):
minutes ago. She's a slow walker, I guess officer, that
is correct. How is she on writing or typing? And
she have good speed there. She's what I would call
a hunter pecker. Yeah, single finger, want both sides? Um,
fast writer, that's what's funny, cursive, she's got it. Oh beautiful, beautiful. Look,
(19:07):
my husband is at baggage claim. I've got to get
down there. But Drake, you are amazing. I'm a huge fan.
What's your favorite song? Well, I have to started at
the bottom of Hotlight and playing are just they're tied.
They're so that's everybody's you know what I mean. Like,
I think there's maybe some other ones that you also like,
(19:28):
super enjoy. Um. I like your early stuff like you
would freestyle rap Undergrassi. There's an early one that like,
I can't believe no one has really sent to me recently.
It's like it's I think it's my best song. Oh. Um.
I like the Sprite and You theme from Toronto Raptors.
I love that song. It's so good. Yeah, all right, anyways,
(19:51):
Like it's so nice talking to you, but I really,
well I need to know just like right, but if
you could sign this petition, that would be great. Um,
So just like guess the you know, it'll take five seconds.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's Drake trying to get you
to sign a petition. He is, I'm sorry, Drake. I've
told you you cannot have petition work here in the
(20:12):
Earth terminals. All right. If you're gonna do, I'm gonna
have to confiscate these man. Do you know who I am? Uh?
He said, yeah, you're Drake. I can't believe there's a
problem do you really know who I am? Like? Do
you know my songs? I don't think you would petitioning
(20:33):
allowed in the airport? Could I named two? I mean,
I don't care. There's a song. It was the bottom,
the bottom, song from the bottom. Take it from the bottom.
I'm not I don't want to sound like an asshole,
but I'm not a fan. I didn't say I was
a fan. I just I'm just doing my job, and
(20:54):
I'm just doing mine. You know, green Peace needs a
lot of help. The world is we're sinking. The world
is thinking, and also the world thinking the World's not sinking.
That's not how it works. The water is brazing. Imagine
Pangaea before and then it all drifted away, and then
now Pangaea is going downtown and downtown is on stage.
(21:19):
So much sense your track. Pangaea is going downtown now,
like I understand it. I get it now, listen, I'm
gonna have to get back up the whole last second.
If there's any other officers in the direk Hi, sorry
interrupt Uh just up from here in the booth, Are
you in fact saying in this wrap Pangaea is going downtown? Yeah,
(21:43):
Pangaea is going downtown and downtown is unsafe. Um right, Yeah,
I got the unsafe part. I just Pangaea. You're saying Pangaea.
Don't you remember Pangaea? No you heard of it? Fill
in some No, don't I don't need to producer. Well
(22:04):
that's where you're right. But in this case, I pride
myself on having a vast awareness of everything, and Pangea
is just driving right past me. So can you break it?
Break it down a little? When the Earth was first
formed and all of the continents were one super continent,
(22:25):
and that was called Pangaea, and then with the movement
of tectonic plates, the Earth's crossed divided into what we
now know as the continents, and I think they drifted apart.
I think you're talking about the lost city of Atlantis.
So do you want to try that again from the
top and just use the proper word? Then the police
(22:54):
is I already I already. I already did diverse about
Atlantis and one of the honest songs in her last album.
So can I just keep it? Pangaea's drake, Hey, thanks
for coming in as presidents. I am responsible for the
Adam Council. Uh not, it's a t o, I'm not
(23:16):
Adam like a D A M. Because the Adam Divine
Center has contacted me. They wanted they just wanted donations,
and I thought it was actor Adam Divine. I didn't
realize it was Adam the biblical figure and Divine the singer.
I didn't realize that that was kind of fun for me. Okay,
(23:37):
that seems Oh, Adam Divine is bright, but he's not
a scientist. Well you know I love word play. You do.
We share word share wordles every day. Yeah, but I
called you in because no one's coming into the Adam
Levine Center. This is empty. Why do we build this place? Johnny,
(24:02):
We've talked about this a few times and the hope
is eventually he will come in because he can't believe
we built this place in his honor. So truly less
about the public and more about bringing in the actual guy.
But he's not responding to any of our social posts.
I've done hashtag you know, Maroon five Center, hashtag, Levine King,
(24:23):
hashtag stop on by. Uh, there's been hundreds of them.
It's just nothing. It's not nothing's trending, sir. Nothing about
hashtag from the bottom, No hashtag from the bottom didn't work. Um,
I spelled bottom with two teas and one tea and
then two d's just in case, because I wasn't sure.
I just we had to tear this place down. I
(24:43):
mean no, no, no, no, no no. We raised too
much money to build it, so tearing it down would
be uh bring on too much scrutiny and potential lawsuits.
So listen, Uh, do you not like working here? Because
I can probably bring somebody else. I love working here.
I love working here. I just I just, you know,
(25:03):
I just feel under dan your frustration. Yeah, I mean,
if I could get somebody else to stop by also
famous having nothing to do unfortunately with Adam or the
Maroon five group, but someone also named at him. Okay, okay,
(25:25):
thinking I'll get the trending going. You just let me know.
I'll start hashtaging. Do you know the funny actor Adam
Divine Adam Divine of of the Pitch Perfect Movies and
Adam Devines fun House on Comedy Central him. Yeah, it
sounds like you're a fan. I'm I'm a big fan
(25:45):
of Righteous Gemstones. Uh. He's great. I mean, he's to
meet him, really, I would love to meet him. I
mean it would be like a dream come true. It's
Adam Adam. Oh, it's just a party line. No, no,
(26:07):
it's I love you too. Hey, Uh is Adam there?
Can you just tell him the Cliff is calling? That
would be great. I still love the double receptionist thing.
It's mind blowing. Yeah, Adams on the line. I'll sign
off here, Adam. Yeah, I'm signing off to Adam. Oh no,
(26:27):
oh shit, I thought Adam Devin party house. Hello you
too with can you just tell Adam the Cliff is
on the call? And uh, don't both hang up? Here
we go transferring to thank you. Ah, Hi, it's Adam Devine.
(26:55):
Uh sorry, I'm just waking up. So are you okay? No,
I'm just waking up. No, No, it's okay. It's like
your fifteen fifteen on the just waking up thing in
the A M. That's cool. You're a big star. Listen.
Would you mind um making taking a visit on down
(27:16):
to the Adam Levine Center. I've got kind of an
interesting situation. I know technically I did that one favor
for you and you still kind of oh me. And
I'll totally understand if you'd rather not do it, but
I have to ask. I'll be there. I will be there. Okay.
(27:36):
Can I thank you so much? Can I just maybe
pencil in a day at time? I'm on my way.
I'll get my driver to bring me right now. Is
your driver still James? Yeah? Okay, very good. But he's
got a hell of a heart. Come in with James.
I want to see him type okay, I'll see you.
Uh it looks like ninety two minutes. Huh. I'm a great. Wow,
(28:01):
he's coming here. Well you heard me. That was a
real conversation. And so and he's got the super cool
crazy driver who's also coming in. So that's two. There's
two people who are going to visit the Adam Levine.
Where's Levine? I mean, that's one thing. I think that
might be why he's not coming. Because we can't decide
we say it. Okay, um sir, I actually, um my,
(28:26):
my specialty is rebranding. It's not just doing social media
and content for brands. So if you don't have any
more questions for me in this interview process, um, I'd
love to ask you a question. If that's okay, any question,
go ahead, shoot, okay, great? Um. You know I'm really
(28:47):
excited about the potential opportunity to work here at the
Adam Levine Center. Um, what's your favorite Adam Levine song?
I'd love to know. Well, so now you're pronouncing at
Adam Levine and I appreciate that and I respect it.
Thank you. Because I own and operate the center doesn't
necessarily mean I know and I'm familiar with any of
his music. Oh, I mean, I totally understand why you
(29:08):
would ask. It's a pretty safe assumption. Yeah, although I'm
not sure why I'm getting quizzed by a potential employee.
But usually at the end of interviews they say, do
you have any questions for me? So I just kind
of initiative, which is a good thing. In Initiative is
a good thing. And also I just love the challenging
nature of your position. I didn't need to be challenging.
(29:30):
I just meant, you know, I was just curious, as
a huge fan myself and as someone who's very excited
to potentially work here, I was just curious as to
what your favorite was. I'm glad we finally got to
the important part of the interview, which is whether or
not you're a fan. And since you are, i'd rather
you didn't work here. Um, yeah, it's not that kind
(29:52):
of place. We don't really celebrate two tickets to the
Levine Center please, uh the Levine Center, Yeah, center on
fit or do you want the Levine Center on Sixth.
We're big freaks and geeks fans. So it's just the
(30:13):
Sam Levian Center that's still under construction. It's not gonna
be done until but here's a pamphlet on what it
will contain inside. Beautiful. Wow, this is Oh my god,
look at this. As you can see, there's a whole
wing with props from not another teen movie that's going
(30:34):
to be very popular with the kids. Uh, it's it's
really And then there's the Douglas movies and X where
it's all his appearances from Douglas movies are in the
corner there. Beautiful. I can't wait? What is and where
am I? If I'm a few years early, you could say,
what is this beautiful structure? Oh? This structure, it's the
(31:00):
it's the Adam Levine Levine. Sam Levine Levine ticket kiosk Um.
I actually do specialize in social media content creation. I
think I could do a great job for you here
at ticket Master. I already have a lot of ideas.
So do you have any question more questions for me?
Uh see? Um? What is well? I'm fresh out of questions?
(31:26):
Do you have any questions for me? Um? Yeah? What's
your favorite vern five songs? A little probably the Jagger one,
that's one, Yeah, for sure, your choice, but awesome. I
just like it when he takes a shirt off, So
(31:47):
that's kind of the excitement, right, Yeah, me too, But
we're not. That's off the record in terms of the interview,
of course, of course record. Yeah, that's not a song.
If it was a song, i'd love it. Yeah. Um,
I mean you're hired. Oh my god, we're making so much.
(32:10):
I find that asking a personal question at the end
is kind of something special and kind of makes me
stand out, but also makes it feel like we could
enjoy working together. Are you gonna be working in front
of fast? I am so sorry, Sonny, I got hung
up with Drake. Have you been waiting long? Out here?
That is seen too, Seen three Patron d I P.
(32:36):
Bear who wrote hal Hope all as well scene suggestion
Why are your shoes wet? That is all ban Chan's
bear U And now Steve Hardman with Today's whether Steve
what do you got? Hey, everybody, thanks, thanks a lot. Phil.
(32:57):
We're gonna get some rain. I know, I know yesterday
I said definitely no rain for the next you did, buddy,
you said no rain? Yeah I know, Phil, don't Okay? Um,
so ladies, gentlemen, it does seem like we're gonna get
a little bit of rain again. No, I said yesterday
that it wasn't going to rain for like a week.
And can we pin you down what you mean by
a little um, I want to say minimal, but after
(33:22):
what happened yesterday where I'm really you know, it's gonna rain,
grabbing umbrella? Uh, maybe have backup pair of shoes. It
could be a lot of backup pair of shoes. I
like it. Yeah yeah, because if it if it floods,
then flooding. Oh I'm not committing to this answer. I'm
just saying it's gonna rain. Could anywhere from be a
sprinkle to a torrential downpour like a cause flooding. And uh,
(33:49):
have you checked something called the dappling Uh? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that radar is working really well. You know how to
rate it? Oh? Man, Phil, come on, man, what are
you doing this on here? Can we can we go
to commercial or oh, he's getting folks. He knows what
a doppler is. All right, these here are this you're
(34:10):
a nice pair. Are these going to be your backup
shoes or these primary shoes? What are what's the usage? Here?
Is supposed to flood this weekend. I just want to
make sure I'm selling you the right thing. These are
my wet shoes shoes, Yeah, I just want to squish
around in them, get them wet. These are going to
be my wet shoes, so backup shoes basically or there
I guess they're primary wet shoes. They're gonna be my
(34:30):
soaken shoes, soaken shoes. I want to get soaked up. Okay,
well let's go to the soak section over here. These
ones are appropriate for? What for? How many kinds of
shoes are there, darling? Do you really need more? Oh
my god, Reginald, please what I'm talking? I'm talking, I'm
(34:57):
talking over here, Okay, I hear you. It's just this
is we've been at this for over an hour already.
You know he didn't have to come with me, Reginald,
we broke up a week ago. You didn't have to
come with me. I didn't want you to come with me.
There's an over at lounge right over there that for
all the significant others were over it can wait, he's
(35:18):
actually not my significant other anymore. Oh. If he's not
that he can't go on the over at lounge. He
has to be a significant other. Well, I need him
to be separate of me. Then you should probably get
back together now so you can go. I need you
to understand. So wait, Reginald. Sorry, sorry, I can't quite
(35:40):
keep up. She broke up with you by saying I
don't want to you to come with me. I mean,
it was a whole series of arguments, and then we
don't like doing the same things, and this and that,
and then I was complaining about going shopping because it's
a weekly thing we do. It's like a go with
you do you don't want you to go? Okay, hey,
I Missundrew. I'm sorry she didn't want you to go
(36:03):
with her. I misunderstood. I mean, I don't mean to
stuff in here, Steve, but I think this is a
toxic relationship. You need to you need to get out.
I mean I just barely got back in m hmm,
good point. I wasn't going to be allowed to hang
out with you. Guys, I wasn't an official couple, Tim,
(36:24):
thanks for weighing in, Nom. So she didn't mind you
coming with her. She just didn't want you to go
with her. Is that she actually? The truth is she
doesn't want me here, she doesn't want me around, she
doesn't like me, she doesn't want to see a future
with me. The problem is, Lisa, he doesn't listen to me,
you know what I mean, Like, yeah, he's a nice guy.
(36:47):
I hear you, but I don't want to get back
together with him. He doesn't hear me when I talk.
I told him I don't want you to come with me,
and he's thinks it's like coming out with me and
then the same time as me, And I'm like, I
don't want that. I want my own time to come,
and you come at your own time, right, better come first?
(37:08):
And if I don't, I'm pissed, then I don't want
to come at all. Right, totally get that. Um. You know,
I had the same problem with Tim. I mean, like,
I've been done shopping for an hour now, but I'm
going to let him stay in that lounge because, like
I just I need time for myself to you know,
I feel like I'm not number one. He is? He is.
He doesn't even know it, you know, because because he
(37:29):
wouldn't know it. Even if you told him, he wouldn't
know it, because he wouldn't hear it. You'd say you're
a problem, and then he'd think that it was some
like lyric to a stupid song or something. Right, Maybe
like we shouldn't even tell them we're done. Maybe we
should just like spend the day together and go out
and let them sit in that lounge as long as possible,
you know, like make it our time. Hey, welcome to
(37:51):
the over At Lounge, Joe, Right, come on in. We
got all the needs. If somebody's shopping, you can come
here and hang out, all right, We got pen Do
you like peanuts? Excuse me, I don't know if there's
a tropical question. I like peanuts. Yeah, And what kind
of peanuts do you have to have? Coasted with roasted, unroasted, salted, unsalted,
(38:12):
sea salted. I don't you get these peanuts in your mouth?
You're gonna love it. You can love it. Are you
working on commission? I'm just no. The over At Lounge
is paid for by Adam Levine. It's completely funded ship. Yeah,
so it's just whatever you want. Hey, people think over
at lounge, they're not gonna have a good time, but
when you get in here, you're gonna have a good time.
(38:33):
Good time. Do you also have an overabundance and mostly
confusing tattoosh? Yeah? Yeah? Here, take my shirt off right now?
Look at that one. Wo Yeah yeah that's a turtle.
Do not know what any of those means? That's a tortoise, tortoise,
that's a turtle. Yeah, it is a tortoise. Yeah, that's
a dolphin, and then porcupine and ant eater. Sometimes people
(38:55):
will get confused. I'm totally confused. Yeah, it's a jackal
and the fox over here, and so you just wanted
all the predators. I got some birds. I got some
birds of Mikey bird in the blue chain. Hard to
tell the difference. I got a butterfly and a mom
This is this is crazy. And how long have you
worked for Adam? Well? The over and Lounge has been
(39:18):
sponsored since his museum opened, and it's been doing so
well that he funded this. So I've been here the
full three years. Yeah yeah, come in, come in, come in, hang,
take take your shirt off. Relax, well, I don't want
to take my shirt off because I don't have any
tattoos that are cool. Yours do you have? I should
take off my shirt? Ah? Look at that? Wow? Right four, five, six, seven, eight, eight.
(39:44):
And on the eighth one is a picture of my mother.
Oh beautiful, beautiful. Yeah, not a tattoo, it's not. It's
still it's so colorful and vivid. And then if you
look around the back, there's a picture of the neighbor
who my mother killed. Oh, we keep the memory of
which she's doing. Yeah, but she we know. We stay,
(40:07):
we stay very close. That was very very sweet. She
she has asked me to never get a tattoo, so
I just have to pictures. Yeah, that's what the over
lounge is about. You come here, you can share anything,
no judgment. I'm sorry for interrupting my Uh, I don't
know what to call her, my girl, my lady. She
(40:28):
hasn't come back looking for me, has she? Because I've
been here for like three hours now, Hey man, we
don't know. And you said, hey, how come you're not
drinking something? You're have a jack and coke. I'm pretty
drunk already, Like I'm trying to trying to salvage your relationship.
No shirts, Hey buddy you guys, Yeah yeah, take your
shirt off and tell us why you're not sure how
to how to refer to your gal? Have a sample?
(40:55):
Third medal? You got all three? Don't touch it? Stop
touching that ticklish there topic. Don't they talk? I thought, Oh,
I mean I've never gotten it to talk. It looks
like a pe Okay, Lisa, I know that we've already
gone to Wesell Pretzels five times. I know, but I
want another one? Okay? Should we like Squeeze and anti
(41:17):
ems in or do we just keep going for Wetzels.
I'm loyal, but fuck it. You know what? Yolo, You
only live once. That's the motto. That's true. This is
so much fun. This is like I don't even want
to go back. Is that weird to say? I don't
want to go back? You didn't want to go home?
He neither wantn't live in this mall? Are you doing?
(41:42):
I'm all security? T J. Johnson. Um, we just heard
you saying you want to live in them all? That
is illegal? Is illegal to want to live in them all? Yeah,
somebody said that before and then they moved in. Well,
no intent here. Just okay, just making just chopping it
up with my girlfriend, all right, I mean now I
(42:08):
kind of want to live here. Sorry about that. I
heard you again say you wanted to live here. I
can't live here. Just want to make sure we are
clear and communicate, right, I just I just said I'd
like to we're just talking. We're probably talking. Thanks. Okay,
(42:31):
you wait till he goes to you come here, give
me here. I don't think we should go. I don't
like back into this little come back into this red flag.
I should love co By the restaurom private hell, a blanket,
(42:53):
take it. If you just lay down really quick and
lay down on this pillow and blanket, then they have
to give you sixty days notice to kick you out.
I've been living here for a long time. Here quick,
I don't if you got just be giving this to you,
I'm gonna be. I'm putting my knuck on the line here,
and my scalp is highly susceptible to lice. I don't
feel comfortable. I'm sorry. How about you? You know everything
(43:16):
for you, but don't trust me. I've gotten lice eight
times in my adulthood. It's fucking hell. And you can't
get rid of it here. It's not that bad pillow. Alright,
look who we got here? Oh, we finally got youre,
(43:38):
finally got youre Joseph Levine, We got you. Come on,
come on. I was just thank you to you two citizens.
Because of you, we were able to capture this this
this punk you're want to stop by see if you Yeah,
(44:03):
this is a guy who's been this is him, Yeah,
Joseph Levin Levine, Holy Christ, my brother, my brother. He's
the one who donated a lot of money. He's the
one with the money, and you're the one that's loitering
constantly in malls. Come with us. I'm with these two
(44:23):
and with these two. Lovely? Are you with him? Ladies?
Did you want to press charges? Churches? If you press charges,
you like freeze? Yes, yes, yes, you just have to
file some charges. Oh, sidebar, sidebar, sidebar. Like I love pretzels, right,
(44:50):
you know me too. We have had already five, I know,
and I still have some more pretzel room in this
little gut of mine. And like, I don't know, it's hard.
It's like free pretzels or like ruin a guy's life,
But his life is kind of ruined. Already. Um. I mean,
he's offering his free pillows in the mall, so I
(45:12):
feel like maybe it's okay to press these charges to
these pretzels. I mean, what do you think, Lisa, I
think this is an all time low. I'm telling you,
as your friend, this is not me trying to be mean.
This is me actually loving you and looking out for you.
Oh my god, there's so much lights on you. Oh man, Tina, Hi, Sorry,
(45:34):
smell of the more just gets me every damn time
I came through that door. Okay, so uh, I'm he
was told to do a quick inventory of the contents
of the stomach, and I was told they were either
five or six pretzels. Is that what you have? She
had five pretzels when she was with me? Yep, uh
(45:58):
huh when she was with you? Yeah? Okay, uh out
here at the in the morgue. Yeah, he's gonna process
these bodies. All right. Let's go check the contents and
move these bodies along, all right. We got trying. I
guess someone was visiting. I thought you were the person
(46:18):
who works at the morgue. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I
came to identify my friend's body. Sorry. Sorry, I work
here to question so steak. I was had a lunch break.
I was having to prett children. Ta hey, hey, hey, sorry,
just a little site here to be right pick. Yeah,
(46:40):
I saw that came in anyways, saw her thought that. Listen,
we've never met. And I'm sorry. I mistakenly, because I'm
very old school, thought Tina was a woman, not a guy.
And that's on me. That's on me. So sorry. You
were a friend of the deceased, miss Yeah, this is
my friend. This is maybe you witnessed what I'm in
(47:01):
search of. I was sent down here from the precinct
to get the actual contents of her little gut it
says here in the writing, and it's either five or
six pretzels. Oh, for sure. We usually use much more
pets pet or pet side manner with friends. But I
could probably help you if you're missing a pretzel. I
I've gotten comfortable enough having pretzels if there's extras in
(47:23):
the belly. So that's my bad. Oh god, I'll go. Oh,
I'm sorry. You must be upset because this is your
friend we're talking about. But the pretzels did not go
to waste, that is sure. For today. They did the
pretzels did not make it down to the waist. They
(47:46):
remained in the little gut. Well, let's thank all of
our alchemists today and all of those of you who
wrote in your scenes, starting with of course Jack Higgins
as Ruthie Jackie. Yes, thank you so much for being here.
And what could you tell the folks I want to
find you on the socials or any upcoming things. Thank
you for having me. I am Jackie Druthy at Jackie
(48:06):
do Ruthy on the social No, No, it's okay. Sometimes
that's what I'm the Socials. And guess what, guys, if
you're a basketball fan like me and you're watching the playoffs,
don't flip around during commercials because you don't see me.
You've got a commercial runner in the playoffs. Look out. Yeah,
(48:29):
I just started running last night during the play in.
That's exciting as hell. Yeah, I'm excited. Um, Sarah, product
you want to I mean no, yeah, they paid you.
You you did you work for the conduct. Just watch
every commercial commercial because the products are not going to
(48:51):
pop up at the beginning. It's gonna pop up at
the end and by the time you see the product,
I'm going but you see paulp Heres. Oh, we'll be there. Wow,
very impression. Second, I'll be yelling at the TV first
the second right on. We'll congrats on that. Thank you
and to all those involved in the playoffs. Col Stratton,
thank you so much for being an alchemist and not
(49:12):
just a guesthouse. I know it's nice being on the
other side, a little less, a little less responsibility. I
love it. I hope you enjoyed your freedom, your horrible,
horrible freedom. I did at Col Stratton on Twitter, at
Stratton Call on Instagram. If you're watching the playoffs, you
won't see my commercial. It was tied to the Lakers.
So yeah, burn it's rough, rough, rough, Westside Comedy Theater,
(49:38):
lots of stuff, pretty pretty parny, first Thursday of the month.
Attend though this month it's the second one. But this
will have already happened by the time this sers. But
Wayne Veterman is on it. Yeah, how did you get
Wayne Federman? Did you also attend the opening of a refrigerator? Nice?
He's doing it, I think though. From our March third show,
(50:00):
yes I'm not March May third show, Julie Brown is
potentially going to be our guest Now will that be
the downtown Julie Brown just straight up any part of town.
Julie Brown, uh from Shakes the Clown, Just say Julie.
And and a movie that I did with her called
The Opposite? Is that tell her? I said, hello, please?
We the Opposite? What all right? The Opposite of Sex
(50:21):
and How to Live With Them? Maybe wonderful? That is
the full title. Yeah, thank you. The Opposite Sex and
how to Live with That was Courtney Coxney Cox and
Ari grow. Yes. Nice, so come check that out. Yeah,
that would be May fourth. You said May third. I
think that first Thursday of whatever, that first Thursday in
May ten o'clock. What's that comedy theater? Nice? Nice? Nice?
(50:44):
A tool sing, thank you for having me. This is
always so much fun. People can follow me at a
tool time or a tool sing dot com um put
up my shows there pretty pretty pony we I'm in
grifter sketch comedy and if you're a bosch man, if
you like Bosh, the new show Bosch Legacies coming out there.
And I might have a little bit part in the
(51:08):
look Out. I'm going to be so but yeah, that's
what's going on. Look for a tool in his itty
Biddy James Heeney, Well, I might. I just have to
say I checked the calendar. It's actually May five is
the day that Pretty Pretty Pony does that show there
and I and I had it up because I wanted
(51:30):
to make sure I was absolutely certain that if people
wanted to see Alchemy This Life, if they could come
on May one to the West Side Comedy Theater and
We're scheduled for an eight pm show, and I'd love
everybody to come out and see it. Yes, please, if
you can make it, some of us will be there. Yes,
I don't know which one of us, but we'll We'll
(51:52):
promote it on the socials. Let's thank our producer and
engineer the stars, Mr Doug Baine, find folks and I
hurt media. I'm your host, Kevin Pollock, thanking each and
every day. And one of you please tell everyone you
ever met write a review so James can smile again.
Be kind to each other until next time.
Well, come back to another episode of Alchemy. This son
your host Kevin po Yes, that Kevin Pomp was that
well as I see it. If you did, we had
to do. I mean, the man did have your wife's
name in his mouth. But I digress. Let's meet, shall we,
and no particular order. Let's quickly check in with James
Heeny for his two late night Snacks review. Johnny Jim,
(00:25):
I like to have caramel along with peanut, butter and chocolate.
I like to have textures, sweetnesses, salts, uh, pretzels and
ice cream. Yeah. I love late night treats. It's what
keeps me. Um, it gets me to bed fast. I
think if I eat a lot of sugar, I crashed
in just the right way. I knew to come to
(00:45):
you with this made up category. What the hell does Jackie? Hey,
Jackie Jim, what would you consider an ideal setting for
a picnic with Dr Faucci? Oh, with Vouch, I then
I definitely wanted to be unless I wanted to be
a more a private a more private area of a park. Um,
(01:12):
we want to be able to be physically distanced from
a lot of people. Um. Honestly, me and Fouch, I'll
take him to Let's take him on top of a mountain.
Let's get horse, Let's let's take horses to get there. Um,
let's make it Wyoming and let's be in Grand Tea,
(01:33):
Tom Park, I think he'd love that. No, Mark calls
pencils down. We have a winner. Hey, heads up, people
until saying as president doctor sing if your dad guess correctly,
why did you decide to not become a doctor? Um?
We we have already a couple in the family. So
I was like, sure, you know, it's just so repetitive
(01:53):
and uh, you're a true original. Yeah. And I was like,
you know, do I want everyone in the Emily's approval? No, No,
I don't. And so I feared left. And it's been
it's been fun all along. Yeah, that's the spirit. Uh.
And last, but no more room in the overhead if
you think at least it's cold Stratton mellow. Weird to
(02:18):
have us both on the same time. Yes, I wanted
to prove to the universe it could happen. Uh. Competitive
Broadway enthusiasts please answer the following question in the appropriate language.
Is one in fact in the library? Is one in
fact in the library? Is one in the library. Okay,
(02:44):
I don't know how to answer this, but I'm gonna
say yes, Oh so in the appropriate language. You did
not study Spanish in school? No, did not took French.
And how's that going? Really good? Really super handy? Okay,
then let rephrase the question. Is Pierre in fact in
the library? We can't I remember what it is in
(03:12):
those things? Correct? See? Is it not true that you
can just say it with a French accent and that's
library A live boy reading a book. Yeah, do that, James,
next time you're in France. They love it. They have
(03:34):
no problem with Americans doing that. Let's do a damn show.
All of our scene suggestions are gathered from your listener
emails or from your patron v I P messages. Um
yeah so v IP uh patron and alchemy x they
get priority in the scene suggestion. If you listen to
(03:54):
the show, you probably noticed that the fan mail emails
still get their suggest listed. All have a few, um
every well at least one every show. But if you
want to be a patron supporter and have exclusive content
like standalone bonus scenes, video of me talking as I
(04:15):
am right now, or at the highest level of the alchemaniac.
You might have a chance to join us one of
our recording sessions. Many have just heading over to patron
dot com slash alchemy. This. When I say joined, I
mean in the fucking zoom did um. If you like
it's listen to met a scene suggestion via email. We
we love it, please, my goodness, yes, we love your
(04:37):
emails right to us at Alchemy is email at gmail
dot com. It's document email at gmail dot com. Seen one,
in fact come from Patron v I P. Chris, who wrote,
Hello Alchemist, quick scene suggestion. Kinder garden class has a
science project where the winner develops a nuclear bomb. If
(04:58):
that's too worthy, and how about this one pepper nipples? Well,
I'll leave it up to you alchemists. Thanks for the laughs.
Chris from Richmond. Congratulations Jeremy, you've won your first place
in the King's Hill Elementary Science There. You know what
(05:21):
that means. My nipples are getting super peppery. So you're
excited because you get to develop a new clear bomb.
Wait what Yes, we loved your project about which diaper
holds the most liquid and we wanted to give you,
(05:42):
as the first place winner, a very special treat and
that is the development of a nuclear bomb new apprentices
where they're going to be bringing back. They're whisking you away, Jeremy,
whisking me away. You just gonna get like a ribbon
and maybe like a gift card to Olive Garden or something.
(06:07):
I need you to put on z here. This is
going to be your lap cold when you work with us.
Uh and and there's going to be a van to
put both of us up. Now a van. Wait, at
least tell my parents I'm going some place. Usually the
parents come to the science Fair and the fact that
they're not here, yikes. So don't worry. I've signed the
forms for them. I know the signature right now, So
(06:28):
you're going to go. Don't worry. We could let you
say goodbye to the van is here, but maybe say
goodbye to friends. Jeremy, Jeremy here, Yeah, yeah, Okay, signed
this man, let's go. Okay, Well, Jeremy, I'm sorry we
didn't have time, but there's gonna be lots of new
(06:50):
friends making nuclear bomb. Okay, Okay, congratulation. Oh such a
nice teacher. Thanks Miss Cunningham. Um. All right, by Mr President,
I just have an update for you regarding the new
designs of a nuclear arsenal, it seems are plans to
(07:13):
use elementary schools is coming along shockingly. Well, great, this
is great, fantastic, it is terrific news. I do have
a sidebar if I may. Hey, that's why you're chief
of staff, because you can. You can have me for sidebars. Yeah, yeah,
(07:36):
and thank you again for that. Really has been a
pleasure to serve. It's just that the arsenal itself is
really tiny, um, which some folks in the military are
whining about because they have to step up their accuracy.
And so I would like your blessing because I don't
(07:57):
need your permission. We've discussed that before. I'd like your
sing in giving him talking to in terms of their
attitude the military, of the scientists, the entire military, the military.
You wanna only things super excited about the young signs. Yeah.
I think it's a way with the future speaks well,
(08:18):
the future long after you and I are Carl. Let
those military guys know what's up, all right, Thank you, sir.
And uh put fifty bucks on the Warriors for me tonight,
you know, oh, uh for the series or just for
the single game single game over Yeah, Oh, the barriers
and the over parlay. Yeah, teaser, yeah, teaser? You know, okay, cool? Thanks, yes,
(08:43):
of course, and and the usual amount sir, one trillion,
one trillion. We're gonna get out of this debt if
I hit this right. Yeah, I mean it's got to
work eventually, right, So, General, what do you mean that
we're all on time out in this regiment? I don't
understand time out? What is that? No matter what it
(09:05):
means is corporal. We're gonna stand down for a minute
and re re uh Now, how should I put this
so I don't get hashtag canceled redesign our output of
(09:27):
arsenal in in using the original h ship man. We're
gonna bomb more accurately as I've been told, so until
we can figure out how the fund to do that,
we're gonna take ourselves at time out? And do I
need to keep myself in the corner? Do I need
(09:47):
to keep staring into the corner? Yeah? What what makes
you think that question is going to change your situation?
I don't know, Genera all Um, I'm not entirely sure
it does. Accuracy matters so much if we can make
it so that it expands to a great deal of area.
You know what I mean, Like, does it need to
(10:09):
if I need to hit a football, but I hit
a football stadium, is not like, well, I don't get it, stupid.
Can you hear the sound of my voice? Yeah? Yeah,
Accuracy is what separates us from the animals. Okay, yeah, right, Well,
how are we going to do that with the nuclear bob?
(10:33):
I'm not there. I'm with private stupid here. I feel
like if we if the blast radius is big enough,
it's kind of all encompassing. And and I mean, as
long as we're on the right football stadium, I feel
like that's well, that seems to be the issue is
finding the damn football stadium. Yes, of course, if you
could drop a bomb inside the whole of a stadium,
(10:55):
let's say, arbitrarily the Dallas Cowboys, then uh, alright, got
the Dallas Cowboys lined up? What was that? Yeah, they
have that open roof. It's open, so Operation Cowboys, it
go Operation Cowboys Cowboys. Yeah, No, that's not what I carl.
(11:20):
Uh just got the briefing here. The Dallas Cowboys stadium
is no longer standing? Is that? Well, sir, this goes
back to the owner of the team saying that they
were America's football team, and that just didn't sit well
with the rest of the country. You know, it's sports
tend to be a regional, very reasonal very reason professional
(11:44):
in particular. Well, I'm from Iowa, so there who would
be your team? We cheer for the colleges Iowa State,
University of Iowa. Drake not the Way Up Earth, the
why not the rapper? Sir? You know, um, I like
(12:05):
him him two of his songs, sir, Well, there's a
start at the bottom. That's that's what I really. That
was my campaign song. It was We're still We're still
asking his permission and then also I'll throw back a
little bit further at a hotline bling That was always fun,
a great video, almost sure campaign song as well as
(12:28):
Yeah yeah, we tried that one and uh, the numbers
didn't farewell until we changed it. No, they did not.
So you'll see. What we want to do is we
want to make this big nuclear bomb. You know those
snap pops that you throw at the ground and they pop. Yeah,
those are fun. You put them out like you throw
them at their feet and they freak out. Yeah, we
(12:50):
want to make it so just one act and blows up.
So it's a very small atom bomb, but you could
throw it at the ground a little tiny ones. So
you want me to develop a tiny atom bomb? Yeah,
just very so. So it only has little tiny nuclear explosions,
just one tiny atom. Do you know that my experience
(13:10):
is limited to diaper water retention? Right? That's what I
got my science first. Of course, of course that's five
wanted to bring you because we make big ones. Look
at how big this is. If you if it exploded it,
it could very well crack an asteroid in half. But
we just want the tiny one. So maybe just a little.
We want you to make a little tiny nuclear I mean,
(13:33):
I'll try. I don't I don't know that much about
fission and reactions and things. Um, the way you're talking,
you already know more than I do. This is great,
This is great. Let me introduce you to your team. Okay, alright,
so this year, uh, none of them are going to
be quite as experienced as you, but they are also
(13:54):
winners of their schools competitions. This is Terry. Terry. Terry
made a volcano at her school. It was different because
I didn't use baking soda and vinegar. I actually used
coca cola. And a mento, and that's why this is
(14:15):
a kind of explosive we want to deal with here. Okay,
that makes sense. Well not you, I mean I think
this you would know how you fit into the planet
the nuclear prop right, doctor, doctor Dr Frankenburger, Can I
ask that question, please, Frankenburger, go ahead, yeah, Frankenberger. My
(14:36):
dad says that you're not actually German, but you put
on you talk like an accent because you don't know
any of the words. Well, your dad, he's never pent
to Germany. I can tell you're like a piece of
wonder bread. You never leave United States. My my dad
(14:57):
has been to Germany, he said, And um, it's possible
my mom packed him a lunch. I don't know that
that's true. I can't. I can't say one way or
another for your daddy. All right, but I here, let
me show you some pictures. Let's count to ten in
German together. Okay, you go first. Ms Cunningham. I've come
(15:24):
to pick up my son and he's Jeremy right, he's
nowhere to be found. I've talked to some of his
classmates and they don't seem to be the brightest um,
not as bright as Jeremy, and he actually won first
place in in the science fair, so it's very very exciting.
(15:46):
Stuffed and so some operatives who work for the government
took him away to develop a nuclear bomb that is
kind of the size of one of those snap pops. Um.
There's so many questions. Congratulations, I guess I should be
proud of him for being accepted into national How do
(16:08):
you have so much clearance to talk about the program?
Oh my god, who do you know? What are you
gonna tell? You're gonna say? Don't say anything. Okay, that's
just me and you. That was a little mistake. It
was a little slip up. Take me to see my son,
or I tell the world what's happening at this elementary school. Okay,
So I know details of like actually what he's doing,
(16:30):
but I don't know the details of where he is.
You know. It's like finding a football in a football stadium.
There could be anywhere. Too soon after the Cowboys thing,
I know, I'm sorry, yeah, sorry, that has seen one
that is too soon. I seen two comes froms from
listener Danny T. That's rights involved in patron a listener
(16:56):
Danny T who wrote, Hello, welcome, I start driving to
get my wife from the airport and her Kevin's call
to action. Even though I've sent plenty ideas which I
thought were comedy gold, I guess they sucked. I kid. Anyways,
seems suggestion wild time at airport arrivals from Danny in Saskatchewan. Sir,
she's she's about to walk out, officer. So I mean
(17:20):
you're saying your wife is about to walk out the
luggage from baggage claim. Yeah, I have it all. Yeah.
And what's her name? Tricia? So as every woman comes
out of baggage claim, if I just yelled Tricia, eventually
one of them will turn and it'll be your wife. Yeah. Yeah,
she texted and she said, I'm I'm coming out. Oh,
(17:41):
fair enough, show me the text I'd love to see.
Here you go, scroll scroll. This is my friend Trevor's text. Uh,
this is not it. There Cindy. Who's Cindy Wait, colleague.
We're scientists down at the Adam Center, so it was
an interesting photo since Cindy sent you from work. Yeah, yeah,
we're trying on some new wardrobe bombs. I can't I
(18:02):
shouldn't even be discussing this with you in public. But
total work do you do, sir? Scientists and we're scientists
at the Adam Center. It's really all I can get into.
The Atom Center. Oh yeah, named after Adam Divine. Yes, yes, yeah.
A lot of people say a T O M, but
it's not it's a D. Yeah. A lot of people
(18:23):
think Adam Levine and it's not Adam Divine, which is
pronounced differently. Well, we don't need to get into it,
so don't don't we? Sure? Um, but I can't really
tell you anymore. Um, we're just down here in the highway.
When you know where belt line is, that's where our
secret facilities are. Really shouldn't be saying any of this.
And your wife checked you what now seems like nine
(18:44):
minutes ago. She's a slow walker, I guess officer, that
is correct. How is she on writing or typing? And
she have good speed there. She's what I would call
a hunter pecker. Yeah, single finger, want both sides? Um,
fast writer, that's what's funny, cursive, she's got it. Oh beautiful, beautiful. Look,
(19:07):
my husband is at baggage claim. I've got to get
down there. But Drake, you are amazing. I'm a huge fan.
What's your favorite song? Well, I have to started at
the bottom of Hotlight and playing are just they're tied.
They're so that's everybody's you know what I mean. Like,
I think there's maybe some other ones that you also like,
(19:28):
super enjoy. Um. I like your early stuff like you
would freestyle rap Undergrassi. There's an early one that like,
I can't believe no one has really sent to me recently.
It's like it's I think it's my best song. Oh. Um.
I like the Sprite and You theme from Toronto Raptors.
I love that song. It's so good. Yeah, all right, anyways,
(19:51):
Like it's so nice talking to you, but I really,
well I need to know just like right, but if
you could sign this petition, that would be great. Um,
So just like guess the you know, it'll take five seconds.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's Drake trying to get you
to sign a petition. He is, I'm sorry, Drake. I've
told you you cannot have petition work here in the
(20:12):
Earth terminals. All right. If you're gonna do, I'm gonna
have to confiscate these man. Do you know who I am? Uh?
He said, yeah, you're Drake. I can't believe there's a
problem do you really know who I am? Like? Do
you know my songs? I don't think you would petitioning
(20:33):
allowed in the airport? Could I named two? I mean,
I don't care. There's a song. It was the bottom,
the bottom, song from the bottom. Take it from the bottom.
I'm not I don't want to sound like an asshole,
but I'm not a fan. I didn't say I was
a fan. I just I'm just doing my job, and
(20:54):
I'm just doing mine. You know, green Peace needs a
lot of help. The world is we're sinking. The world
is thinking, and also the world thinking the World's not sinking.
That's not how it works. The water is brazing. Imagine
Pangaea before and then it all drifted away, and then
now Pangaea is going downtown and downtown is on stage.
(21:19):
So much sense your track. Pangaea is going downtown now,
like I understand it. I get it now, listen, I'm
gonna have to get back up the whole last second.
If there's any other officers in the direk Hi, sorry
interrupt Uh just up from here in the booth, Are
you in fact saying in this wrap Pangaea is going downtown? Yeah,
(21:43):
Pangaea is going downtown and downtown is unsafe. Um right, Yeah,
I got the unsafe part. I just Pangaea. You're saying Pangaea.
Don't you remember Pangaea? No you heard of it? Fill
in some No, don't I don't need to producer. Well
(22:04):
that's where you're right. But in this case, I pride
myself on having a vast awareness of everything, and Pangea
is just driving right past me. So can you break it?
Break it down a little? When the Earth was first
formed and all of the continents were one super continent,
(22:25):
and that was called Pangaea, and then with the movement
of tectonic plates, the Earth's crossed divided into what we
now know as the continents, and I think they drifted apart.
I think you're talking about the lost city of Atlantis.
So do you want to try that again from the
top and just use the proper word? Then the police
(22:54):
is I already I already. I already did diverse about
Atlantis and one of the honest songs in her last album.
So can I just keep it? Pangaea's drake, Hey, thanks
for coming in as presidents. I am responsible for the
Adam Council. Uh not, it's a t o, I'm not
(23:16):
Adam like a D A M. Because the Adam Divine
Center has contacted me. They wanted they just wanted donations,
and I thought it was actor Adam Divine. I didn't
realize it was Adam the biblical figure and Divine the singer.
I didn't realize that that was kind of fun for me. Okay,
(23:37):
that seems Oh, Adam Divine is bright, but he's not
a scientist. Well you know I love word play. You do.
We share word share wordles every day. Yeah, but I
called you in because no one's coming into the Adam
Levine Center. This is empty. Why do we build this place? Johnny,
(24:02):
We've talked about this a few times and the hope
is eventually he will come in because he can't believe
we built this place in his honor. So truly less
about the public and more about bringing in the actual guy.
But he's not responding to any of our social posts.
I've done hashtag you know, Maroon five Center, hashtag, Levine King,
(24:23):
hashtag stop on by. Uh, there's been hundreds of them.
It's just nothing. It's not nothing's trending, sir. Nothing about
hashtag from the bottom, No hashtag from the bottom didn't work. Um,
I spelled bottom with two teas and one tea and
then two d's just in case, because I wasn't sure.
I just we had to tear this place down. I
(24:43):
mean no, no, no, no, no no. We raised too
much money to build it, so tearing it down would
be uh bring on too much scrutiny and potential lawsuits.
So listen, Uh, do you not like working here? Because
I can probably bring somebody else. I love working here.
I love working here. I just I just, you know,
(25:03):
I just feel under dan your frustration. Yeah, I mean,
if I could get somebody else to stop by also
famous having nothing to do unfortunately with Adam or the
Maroon five group, but someone also named at him. Okay, okay,
(25:25):
thinking I'll get the trending going. You just let me know.
I'll start hashtaging. Do you know the funny actor Adam
Divine Adam Divine of of the Pitch Perfect Movies and
Adam Devines fun House on Comedy Central him. Yeah, it
sounds like you're a fan. I'm I'm a big fan
(25:45):
of Righteous Gemstones. Uh. He's great. I mean, he's to
meet him, really, I would love to meet him. I
mean it would be like a dream come true. It's
Adam Adam. Oh, it's just a party line. No, no,
(26:07):
it's I love you too. Hey, Uh is Adam there?
Can you just tell him the Cliff is calling? That
would be great. I still love the double receptionist thing.
It's mind blowing. Yeah, Adams on the line. I'll sign
off here, Adam. Yeah, I'm signing off to Adam. Oh no,
(26:27):
oh shit, I thought Adam Devin party house. Hello you
too with can you just tell Adam the Cliff is
on the call? And uh, don't both hang up? Here
we go transferring to thank you. Ah, Hi, it's Adam Devine.
(26:55):
Uh sorry, I'm just waking up. So are you okay? No,
I'm just waking up. No, No, it's okay. It's like
your fifteen fifteen on the just waking up thing in
the A M. That's cool. You're a big star. Listen.
Would you mind um making taking a visit on down
(27:16):
to the Adam Levine Center. I've got kind of an
interesting situation. I know technically I did that one favor
for you and you still kind of oh me. And
I'll totally understand if you'd rather not do it, but
I have to ask. I'll be there. I will be there. Okay.
(27:36):
Can I thank you so much? Can I just maybe
pencil in a day at time? I'm on my way.
I'll get my driver to bring me right now. Is
your driver still James? Yeah? Okay, very good. But he's
got a hell of a heart. Come in with James.
I want to see him type okay, I'll see you.
Uh it looks like ninety two minutes. Huh. I'm a great. Wow,
(28:01):
he's coming here. Well you heard me. That was a
real conversation. And so and he's got the super cool
crazy driver who's also coming in. So that's two. There's
two people who are going to visit the Adam Levine.
Where's Levine? I mean, that's one thing. I think that
might be why he's not coming. Because we can't decide
we say it. Okay, um sir, I actually, um my,
(28:26):
my specialty is rebranding. It's not just doing social media
and content for brands. So if you don't have any
more questions for me in this interview process, um, I'd
love to ask you a question. If that's okay, any question,
go ahead, shoot, okay, great? Um. You know I'm really
(28:47):
excited about the potential opportunity to work here at the
Adam Levine Center. Um, what's your favorite Adam Levine song?
I'd love to know. Well, so now you're pronouncing at
Adam Levine and I appreciate that and I respect it.
Thank you. Because I own and operate the center doesn't
necessarily mean I know and I'm familiar with any of
his music. Oh, I mean, I totally understand why you
(29:08):
would ask. It's a pretty safe assumption. Yeah, although I'm
not sure why I'm getting quizzed by a potential employee.
But usually at the end of interviews they say, do
you have any questions for me? So I just kind
of initiative, which is a good thing. In Initiative is
a good thing. And also I just love the challenging
nature of your position. I didn't need to be challenging.
(29:30):
I just meant, you know, I was just curious, as
a huge fan myself and as someone who's very excited
to potentially work here, I was just curious as to
what your favorite was. I'm glad we finally got to
the important part of the interview, which is whether or
not you're a fan. And since you are, i'd rather
you didn't work here. Um, yeah, it's not that kind
(29:52):
of place. We don't really celebrate two tickets to the
Levine Center please, uh the Levine Center, Yeah, center on
fit or do you want the Levine Center on Sixth.
We're big freaks and geeks fans. So it's just the
(30:13):
Sam Levian Center that's still under construction. It's not gonna
be done until but here's a pamphlet on what it
will contain inside. Beautiful. Wow, this is Oh my god,
look at this. As you can see, there's a whole
wing with props from not another teen movie that's going
(30:34):
to be very popular with the kids. Uh, it's it's
really And then there's the Douglas movies and X where
it's all his appearances from Douglas movies are in the
corner there. Beautiful. I can't wait? What is and where
am I? If I'm a few years early, you could say,
what is this beautiful structure? Oh? This structure, it's the
(31:00):
it's the Adam Levine Levine. Sam Levine Levine ticket kiosk Um.
I actually do specialize in social media content creation. I
think I could do a great job for you here
at ticket Master. I already have a lot of ideas.
So do you have any question more questions for me?
Uh see? Um? What is well? I'm fresh out of questions?
(31:26):
Do you have any questions for me? Um? Yeah? What's
your favorite vern five songs? A little probably the Jagger one,
that's one, Yeah, for sure, your choice, but awesome. I
just like it when he takes a shirt off, So
(31:47):
that's kind of the excitement, right, Yeah, me too, But
we're not. That's off the record in terms of the interview,
of course, of course record. Yeah, that's not a song.
If it was a song, i'd love it. Yeah. Um,
I mean you're hired. Oh my god, we're making so much.
(32:10):
I find that asking a personal question at the end
is kind of something special and kind of makes me
stand out, but also makes it feel like we could
enjoy working together. Are you gonna be working in front
of fast? I am so sorry, Sonny, I got hung
up with Drake. Have you been waiting long? Out here?
That is seen too, Seen three Patron d I P.
(32:36):
Bear who wrote hal Hope all as well scene suggestion
Why are your shoes wet? That is all ban Chan's
bear U And now Steve Hardman with Today's whether Steve
what do you got? Hey, everybody, thanks, thanks a lot. Phil.
(32:57):
We're gonna get some rain. I know, I know yesterday
I said definitely no rain for the next you did, buddy,
you said no rain? Yeah I know, Phil, don't Okay? Um,
so ladies, gentlemen, it does seem like we're gonna get
a little bit of rain again. No, I said yesterday
that it wasn't going to rain for like a week.
And can we pin you down what you mean by
a little um, I want to say minimal, but after
(33:22):
what happened yesterday where I'm really you know, it's gonna rain,
grabbing umbrella? Uh, maybe have backup pair of shoes. It
could be a lot of backup pair of shoes. I
like it. Yeah yeah, because if it if it floods,
then flooding. Oh I'm not committing to this answer. I'm
just saying it's gonna rain. Could anywhere from be a
sprinkle to a torrential downpour like a cause flooding. And uh,
(33:49):
have you checked something called the dappling Uh? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that radar is working really well. You know how to
rate it? Oh? Man, Phil, come on, man, what are
you doing this on here? Can we can we go
to commercial or oh, he's getting folks. He knows what
a doppler is. All right, these here are this you're
(34:10):
a nice pair. Are these going to be your backup
shoes or these primary shoes? What are what's the usage? Here?
Is supposed to flood this weekend. I just want to
make sure I'm selling you the right thing. These are
my wet shoes shoes, Yeah, I just want to squish
around in them, get them wet. These are going to
be my wet shoes, so backup shoes basically or there
I guess they're primary wet shoes. They're gonna be my
(34:30):
soaken shoes, soaken shoes. I want to get soaked up. Okay,
well let's go to the soak section over here. These
ones are appropriate for? What for? How many kinds of
shoes are there, darling? Do you really need more? Oh
my god, Reginald, please what I'm talking? I'm talking, I'm
(34:57):
talking over here, Okay, I hear you. It's just this
is we've been at this for over an hour already.
You know he didn't have to come with me, Reginald,
we broke up a week ago. You didn't have to
come with me. I didn't want you to come with me.
There's an over at lounge right over there that for
all the significant others were over it can wait, he's
(35:18):
actually not my significant other anymore. Oh. If he's not
that he can't go on the over at lounge. He
has to be a significant other. Well, I need him
to be separate of me. Then you should probably get
back together now so you can go. I need you
to understand. So wait, Reginald. Sorry, sorry, I can't quite
(35:40):
keep up. She broke up with you by saying I
don't want to you to come with me. I mean,
it was a whole series of arguments, and then we
don't like doing the same things, and this and that,
and then I was complaining about going shopping because it's
a weekly thing we do. It's like a go with
you do you don't want you to go? Okay, hey,
I Missundrew. I'm sorry she didn't want you to go
(36:03):
with her. I misunderstood. I mean, I don't mean to
stuff in here, Steve, but I think this is a
toxic relationship. You need to you need to get out.
I mean I just barely got back in m hmm,
good point. I wasn't going to be allowed to hang
out with you. Guys, I wasn't an official couple, Tim,
(36:24):
thanks for weighing in, Nom. So she didn't mind you
coming with her. She just didn't want you to go
with her. Is that she actually? The truth is she
doesn't want me here, she doesn't want me around, she
doesn't like me, she doesn't want to see a future
with me. The problem is, Lisa, he doesn't listen to me,
you know what I mean, Like, yeah, he's a nice guy.
(36:47):
I hear you, but I don't want to get back
together with him. He doesn't hear me when I talk.
I told him I don't want you to come with me,
and he's thinks it's like coming out with me and
then the same time as me, And I'm like, I
don't want that. I want my own time to come,
and you come at your own time, right, better come first?
(37:08):
And if I don't, I'm pissed, then I don't want
to come at all. Right, totally get that. Um. You know,
I had the same problem with Tim. I mean, like,
I've been done shopping for an hour now, but I'm
going to let him stay in that lounge because, like
I just I need time for myself to you know,
I feel like I'm not number one. He is? He is.
He doesn't even know it, you know, because because he
(37:29):
wouldn't know it. Even if you told him, he wouldn't
know it, because he wouldn't hear it. You'd say you're
a problem, and then he'd think that it was some
like lyric to a stupid song or something. Right, Maybe
like we shouldn't even tell them we're done. Maybe we
should just like spend the day together and go out
and let them sit in that lounge as long as possible,
you know, like make it our time. Hey, welcome to
(37:51):
the over At Lounge, Joe, Right, come on in. We
got all the needs. If somebody's shopping, you can come
here and hang out, all right, We got pen Do
you like peanuts? Excuse me, I don't know if there's
a tropical question. I like peanuts. Yeah, And what kind
of peanuts do you have to have? Coasted with roasted, unroasted, salted, unsalted,
(38:12):
sea salted. I don't you get these peanuts in your mouth?
You're gonna love it. You can love it. Are you
working on commission? I'm just no. The over At Lounge
is paid for by Adam Levine. It's completely funded ship. Yeah,
so it's just whatever you want. Hey, people think over
at lounge, they're not gonna have a good time, but
when you get in here, you're gonna have a good time.
(38:33):
Good time. Do you also have an overabundance and mostly
confusing tattoosh? Yeah? Yeah? Here, take my shirt off right now?
Look at that one. Wo Yeah yeah that's a turtle.
Do not know what any of those means? That's a tortoise, tortoise,
that's a turtle. Yeah, it is a tortoise. Yeah, that's
a dolphin, and then porcupine and ant eater. Sometimes people
(38:55):
will get confused. I'm totally confused. Yeah, it's a jackal
and the fox over here, and so you just wanted
all the predators. I got some birds. I got some
birds of Mikey bird in the blue chain. Hard to
tell the difference. I got a butterfly and a mom
This is this is crazy. And how long have you
worked for Adam? Well? The over and Lounge has been
(39:18):
sponsored since his museum opened, and it's been doing so
well that he funded this. So I've been here the
full three years. Yeah yeah, come in, come in, come in, hang,
take take your shirt off. Relax, well, I don't want
to take my shirt off because I don't have any
tattoos that are cool. Yours do you have? I should
take off my shirt? Ah? Look at that? Wow? Right four, five, six, seven, eight, eight.
(39:44):
And on the eighth one is a picture of my mother.
Oh beautiful, beautiful. Yeah, not a tattoo, it's not. It's
still it's so colorful and vivid. And then if you
look around the back, there's a picture of the neighbor
who my mother killed. Oh, we keep the memory of
which she's doing. Yeah, but she we know. We stay,
(40:07):
we stay very close. That was very very sweet. She
she has asked me to never get a tattoo, so
I just have to pictures. Yeah, that's what the over
lounge is about. You come here, you can share anything,
no judgment. I'm sorry for interrupting my Uh, I don't
know what to call her, my girl, my lady. She
(40:28):
hasn't come back looking for me, has she? Because I've
been here for like three hours now, Hey man, we
don't know. And you said, hey, how come you're not
drinking something? You're have a jack and coke. I'm pretty
drunk already, Like I'm trying to trying to salvage your relationship.
No shirts, Hey buddy you guys, Yeah yeah, take your
shirt off and tell us why you're not sure how
to how to refer to your gal? Have a sample?
(40:55):
Third medal? You got all three? Don't touch it? Stop
touching that ticklish there topic. Don't they talk? I thought, Oh,
I mean I've never gotten it to talk. It looks
like a pe Okay, Lisa, I know that we've already
gone to Wesell Pretzels five times. I know, but I
want another one? Okay? Should we like Squeeze and anti
(41:17):
ems in or do we just keep going for Wetzels.
I'm loyal, but fuck it. You know what? Yolo, You
only live once. That's the motto. That's true. This is
so much fun. This is like I don't even want
to go back. Is that weird to say? I don't
want to go back? You didn't want to go home?
He neither wantn't live in this mall? Are you doing?
(41:42):
I'm all security? T J. Johnson. Um, we just heard
you saying you want to live in them all? That
is illegal? Is illegal to want to live in them all? Yeah,
somebody said that before and then they moved in. Well,
no intent here. Just okay, just making just chopping it
up with my girlfriend, all right, I mean now I
(42:08):
kind of want to live here. Sorry about that. I
heard you again say you wanted to live here. I
can't live here. Just want to make sure we are
clear and communicate, right, I just I just said I'd
like to we're just talking. We're probably talking. Thanks. Okay,
(42:31):
you wait till he goes to you come here, give
me here. I don't think we should go. I don't
like back into this little come back into this red flag.
I should love co By the restaurom private hell, a blanket,
(42:53):
take it. If you just lay down really quick and
lay down on this pillow and blanket, then they have
to give you sixty days notice to kick you out.
I've been living here for a long time. Here quick,
I don't if you got just be giving this to you,
I'm gonna be. I'm putting my knuck on the line here,
and my scalp is highly susceptible to lice. I don't
feel comfortable. I'm sorry. How about you? You know everything
(43:16):
for you, but don't trust me. I've gotten lice eight
times in my adulthood. It's fucking hell. And you can't
get rid of it here. It's not that bad pillow. Alright,
look who we got here? Oh, we finally got youre,
(43:38):
finally got youre Joseph Levine, We got you. Come on,
come on. I was just thank you to you two citizens.
Because of you, we were able to capture this this
this punk you're want to stop by see if you Yeah,
(44:03):
this is a guy who's been this is him, Yeah,
Joseph Levin Levine, Holy Christ, my brother, my brother. He's
the one who donated a lot of money. He's the
one with the money, and you're the one that's loitering
constantly in malls. Come with us. I'm with these two
(44:23):
and with these two. Lovely? Are you with him? Ladies?
Did you want to press charges? Churches? If you press charges,
you like freeze? Yes, yes, yes, you just have to
file some charges. Oh, sidebar, sidebar, sidebar. Like I love pretzels, right,
(44:50):
you know me too. We have had already five, I know,
and I still have some more pretzel room in this
little gut of mine. And like, I don't know, it's hard.
It's like free pretzels or like ruin a guy's life,
But his life is kind of ruined. Already. Um. I mean,
he's offering his free pillows in the mall, so I
(45:12):
feel like maybe it's okay to press these charges to
these pretzels. I mean, what do you think, Lisa, I
think this is an all time low. I'm telling you,
as your friend, this is not me trying to be mean.
This is me actually loving you and looking out for you.
Oh my god, there's so much lights on you. Oh man, Tina, Hi, Sorry,
(45:34):
smell of the more just gets me every damn time
I came through that door. Okay, so uh, I'm he
was told to do a quick inventory of the contents
of the stomach, and I was told they were either
five or six pretzels. Is that what you have? She
had five pretzels when she was with me? Yep, uh
(45:58):
huh when she was with you? Yeah? Okay, uh out
here at the in the morgue. Yeah, he's gonna process
these bodies. All right. Let's go check the contents and
move these bodies along, all right. We got trying. I
guess someone was visiting. I thought you were the person
(46:18):
who works at the morgue. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I
came to identify my friend's body. Sorry. Sorry, I work
here to question so steak. I was had a lunch break.
I was having to prett children. Ta hey, hey, hey, sorry,
just a little site here to be right pick. Yeah,
(46:40):
I saw that came in anyways, saw her thought that. Listen,
we've never met. And I'm sorry. I mistakenly, because I'm
very old school, thought Tina was a woman, not a guy.
And that's on me. That's on me. So sorry. You
were a friend of the deceased, miss Yeah, this is
my friend. This is maybe you witnessed what I'm in
(47:01):
search of. I was sent down here from the precinct
to get the actual contents of her little gut it
says here in the writing, and it's either five or
six pretzels. Oh, for sure. We usually use much more
pets pet or pet side manner with friends. But I
could probably help you if you're missing a pretzel. I
I've gotten comfortable enough having pretzels if there's extras in
(47:23):
the belly. So that's my bad. Oh god, I'll go. Oh,
I'm sorry. You must be upset because this is your
friend we're talking about. But the pretzels did not go
to waste, that is sure. For today. They did the
pretzels did not make it down to the waist. They
(47:46):
remained in the little gut. Well, let's thank all of
our alchemists today and all of those of you who
wrote in your scenes, starting with of course Jack Higgins
as Ruthie Jackie. Yes, thank you so much for being here.
And what could you tell the folks I want to
find you on the socials or any upcoming things. Thank
you for having me. I am Jackie Druthy at Jackie
(48:06):
do Ruthy on the social No, No, it's okay. Sometimes
that's what I'm the Socials. And guess what, guys, if
you're a basketball fan like me and you're watching the playoffs,
don't flip around during commercials because you don't see me.
You've got a commercial runner in the playoffs. Look out. Yeah,
(48:29):
I just started running last night during the play in.
That's exciting as hell. Yeah, I'm excited. Um, Sarah, product
you want to I mean no, yeah, they paid you.
You you did you work for the conduct. Just watch
every commercial commercial because the products are not going to
(48:51):
pop up at the beginning. It's gonna pop up at
the end and by the time you see the product,
I'm going but you see paulp Heres. Oh, we'll be there. Wow,
very impression. Second, I'll be yelling at the TV first
the second right on. We'll congrats on that. Thank you
and to all those involved in the playoffs. Col Stratton,
thank you so much for being an alchemist and not
(49:12):
just a guesthouse. I know it's nice being on the
other side, a little less, a little less responsibility. I
love it. I hope you enjoyed your freedom, your horrible,
horrible freedom. I did at Col Stratton on Twitter, at
Stratton Call on Instagram. If you're watching the playoffs, you
won't see my commercial. It was tied to the Lakers.
So yeah, burn it's rough, rough, rough, Westside Comedy Theater,
(49:38):
lots of stuff, pretty pretty parny, first Thursday of the month.
Attend though this month it's the second one. But this
will have already happened by the time this sers. But
Wayne Veterman is on it. Yeah, how did you get
Wayne Federman? Did you also attend the opening of a refrigerator? Nice?
He's doing it, I think though. From our March third show,
(50:00):
yes I'm not March May third show, Julie Brown is
potentially going to be our guest Now will that be
the downtown Julie Brown just straight up any part of town.
Julie Brown, uh from Shakes the Clown, Just say Julie.
And and a movie that I did with her called
The Opposite? Is that tell her? I said, hello, please?
We the Opposite? What all right? The Opposite of Sex
(50:21):
and How to Live With Them? Maybe wonderful? That is
the full title. Yeah, thank you. The Opposite Sex and
how to Live with That was Courtney Coxney Cox and
Ari grow. Yes. Nice, so come check that out. Yeah,
that would be May fourth. You said May third. I
think that first Thursday of whatever, that first Thursday in
May ten o'clock. What's that comedy theater? Nice? Nice? Nice?
(50:44):
A tool sing, thank you for having me. This is
always so much fun. People can follow me at a
tool time or a tool sing dot com um put
up my shows there pretty pretty pony we I'm in
grifter sketch comedy and if you're a bosch man, if
you like Bosh, the new show Bosch Legacies coming out there.
And I might have a little bit part in the
(51:08):
look Out. I'm going to be so but yeah, that's
what's going on. Look for a tool in his itty
Biddy James Heeney, Well, I might. I just have to
say I checked the calendar. It's actually May five is
the day that Pretty Pretty Pony does that show there
and I and I had it up because I wanted
(51:30):
to make sure I was absolutely certain that if people
wanted to see Alchemy This Life, if they could come
on May one to the West Side Comedy Theater and
We're scheduled for an eight pm show, and I'd love
everybody to come out and see it. Yes, please, if
you can make it, some of us will be there. Yes,
I don't know which one of us, but we'll We'll
(51:52):
promote it on the socials. Let's thank our producer and
engineer the stars, Mr Doug Baine, find folks and I
hurt media. I'm your host, Kevin Pollock, thanking each and
every day. And one of you please tell everyone you
ever met write a review so James can smile again.
Be kind to each other until next time.
Alchemy This News
Host
Kevin Pollak
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