Living without money.

Living without money.

Doomsday preppers forgot to add a bathroom.

3-point turns.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Well, welcome back to another episode of Alchemy that I'm
your host. Kevin probably get that. Kevin was that here's
how this works. You ask less of me and I
comply slightly less progressing, But I digress. Let's meet her
a chemy. Shall we know particular order? Let's welcome Jackie.
Consaster It what consistently misused word or phrase brings you

(00:27):
the most consternation? And is it consternation? Well? For me personally,
I really don't like it when people misuse good and
well one that's good verbs one is an adjective that
really bothers me. I'm doing good. It's like, no, you're

(00:49):
doing well? Yeah, but but doesn't that feel We all
know that, right, And then it sounds kind of weird
when the person like, how are you well? Thank you?
It's like this is the first time I remember good.
But you would say the proper way is to say
I am good because you're describing yourself. But if you're
describing a verb how you're feeling, then you're feeling well.

(01:10):
And that's the weirdest one, right, Like I'm feeling well.
That's a weird one. And that one I'm okay with.
People like yeah that that feels weird. But how are
you doing? Like, I don't know, it's just how are
you doing? Well? I'm doing I mean, I I know. Sorry,
I didn't mean to jump in. I just say, like,
you know what it is, Jackie said. I I will
actually say good even though I know it's well, because
I feel straight. I think a lot of people do

(01:32):
that when people say something like that skateboard is sick. Yeah,
I have a question real quick for Jackie and Chris.
How are you guys both on the fact that James
is just learning the difference just now, it makes sense
to me that this is the first time he said
of this. Okay, well it hurts me about you know,

(01:53):
your education as a child. But you know, somethings stick
with some people and some things don't. And that did
not stick with you, and that's fine. Some people shut knowledge.
Let me say this one more thing where that I
say that pisses my husband off, that I use incorrectly,
but I say it's more of a cultural thing and
he needs to back off. Joey, Joey, if you're outside,

(02:16):
and Chris, perhaps two, If you are outside and you
dropped something, what did you draw the ground or the
floor yeah, Well, if you're outdoors, it's the ground. If
you're outdoors the ground that there's no debate. I say
floor for everything, and I think, at me, you say
floor for next aeor yeah, like if we're out like
in the in the yard. And he works, he works

(02:40):
with He has worked with Floren before, so he knows.
He's like, maybe that's why it bothers him, because if
you actually put your back into making a floor, you
don't want somebody calling the outdoors with no work floor.
I get it. I'm gonn out to side with Pat. Sorry,
please say hello, Chris Alvarado pie me one time from childhood?

(03:00):
Aside from family? What did you over here an adults
say that caused you to instantly question they're knowing what
the hell they were talking about? Why is it to
be outside of family? Because I feel like we all
have that family experience. Was there a time when you
were away from your family that an alleged authority figure

(03:22):
might have said something and you went, no, no, no, Kevin,
I don't think so get cool. That's the correct answer. Also, well,
you have to understand that you know, when you say
the word childhood, we all know that already. That's a
big trigger for me. So that's always trying to take
it away from family. I appreciate that, if it turns out,

(03:43):
family trauma carries with you even on your friends vacations.
I was never in a place to be like I disagree.
I was always like, I don't know me, dummy said
I dropped my my popsicle on the floor, and the
like it is the ground. Yeah, I can dig it.
I can dig it. And you in the who's it's
a tool? Sing rep proper or die? What did you
think the first time? Uh, it was suggested that you

(04:07):
eat something called a fish cake. Um, I'm gonna have
to plead the goodwill argument here. I don't know what
that is, but I will. I was. We were just
talking about this. We used to get fish on Fridays
in school. You never understood why, but that was always
a thing. That's a Catholic thing. That's what I learned eventually,

(04:29):
and that's why I like fish. Filet at McDonald's is
on sale on Fridays. It's for the Joey's of the world. Um,
but oh, you guys don't call Catholics Joey's. Okay, it's
a different terms, but it seems like a that seems
like a like a derogatory word. No, no, that's just

(04:49):
an education. It's like ground floor. But Joey, you still
call quote unquote my people christ killers. Is that right?
Well we have a long conversation, but that we'll get
in that this episode. It'll be really funny. And now,
James Johnny Jim teacher, what sport letic activity at school

(05:11):
peaked your interest? Um, I really liked. I didn't really,
I didn't really like sports. I didn't ball my freshman year. Um,
all the way up through the boot camp part, and
then I was like, you know, these guys are working
so hard. I don't want to do that. You say

(05:33):
boot camp, do you mean practice? Just I think they
called it. I think they called it at my school
boot camp at the start of practice the summer. You
go to the boot camp for two days. Yeah. Well
I passed out on like one of the days. It
was like a really hot day, and like I literally
passed out because I was one of the people that
was a runner. I don't remember the position, but they

(05:54):
were like, yeah, you gotta stay at the front of
the running pack, and I just collapsed. And like after that,
I was like, I'm never we're doing that again? Continue
to play football at the river. Yeah, that's a good question.
Tool did you did you fall on the floor or
the ground, fell on the grass, because that's where it was,
the grass, the grass. See, that's how you step outside

(06:14):
the argument. You just look below yourself and think to yourself,
is that grass? Is it dirt? Is it floor? Is street?
And you just label it I dropped on the plane,
Captain literate And last, but try that ship downtown. If
you think of least it's Joey greer vomit helper your
third favorite fruit? And why is such a staunch position?

(06:38):
Probably it would be leachy or light chy. You. I
don't know how you say it correctly however you want.
You should not, But that's it. No, what's my favorite?
You know? So I get to say it how I want,
but I I do respect the other pronounced otions. So
that is it. Okay, thank you, Let's do a damn show.
All our c Suggins gathered from your listener emails or
those who would like Priori the r v I P

(07:02):
Patron supporters to become a patron supporter of the show
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(07:23):
Head on over to patreon dot com slash alchemy this.
If you like something a scene suggested by email, please
right to the podcast you're at our email alchemy this
email at gmail dot com. That's gmail dot com. Sing
one comes to Paton VP Milton, who wrote hayting. I

(07:44):
guess my last suggestions sucked horse onions. Does that sound
familiar to anybody? Horse onions? No? Those balls? Yeah, there
we go. Maybe I could try addressing James instead. Hey,
heen Man's clean man. Hey have you tried real Swedish coffee?
If you did, a cup should cover your needs and

(08:05):
you wouldn't have to walk around all day drinking a
thermos of that American peawater of yours. I guess that
counts as a personal attack. I recently read about a
man leave living without money. He tried as hard as
he could to stay away from it, and if he
came in contact with it, he would throw it in
the trash m hmm. People who have met him described

(08:28):
him as weird and nice. I need your help with
the exact way that would play out, love Milton. Excuse me, sir, sir, hey,
excuse me? Sorry, sorry, gentlemen, une, yes, okay, Well one
of you I am shorter than him, that's why you

(08:50):
couldn't see me. But there are two of us here
that that makes complete and total sense. I'm gonna dress
both of you with my with him though, No, I
don't mean to suggest you're together, but I'm addressing you both,
if that's okay. One of you dropped ten dollars, uh,
just now, and so I just wanted to be a

(09:12):
good citizen and let you both know initially. Again, one
of you know that you dropped some money. Well, uh,
I don't recall having ten dollars, but i'd I'd like
to take have either one of you ever played black
jacket a casino, because when you play black jacks, when
the dealer goes on break, he does that. That's what

(09:34):
I'm doing to this conversation. Thank you. Wait, oh he
just said he's on break. Well, if is that your
ten dollars, because it's not mine, it is my ten dollars. Um, well,
then you should. You should pick that up. I will
good day. You're walking further away from that ten dollar bill. Oh,

(09:59):
I'm gonna I'm gonna take this time on break, I
just said I'm picking it up. I'm leaving now. I'm
taking money. Just in here and watch. Somebody else is
going to take that ten dollars. If it's my money,
I'm taking it. Listen to me, I'm taking my money.
You just trapped in my face two times. Break. Look, miRNA,
I'm not just getting rid of you, I'm getting rid

(10:20):
of everything. I need the work, though. The issue is
I have a lot of medical things happening, and I
don't need the work to pay for these doctors. Did
you ever think that, maybe, doctor, it was some kind

(10:42):
of construct made up by people in power. Make you
feel like if you need me to do a different
job for you, I'll do a different job for you. miRNA, miRNA,
the only job you should be doing is living. I
watched a van videos on YouTube and it got me thinking, videos,

(11:09):
what do I need any of this for? Yeah, I
own a company, I have employees. Maybe I'm done. Somewhere
out there, there's two grown men arguing over ten dollar bill.
You know what I mean. I don't want to be
like that. You shouldn't want to be like that either. Murna. Okay,
and everything's looking good. We'll see you back here next week.

(11:30):
And are you sure every everything's looking good? Because I
actually usually have a bit of a problem. No, mur
and I I was trying to Okay, No, your bones
are shattering inside your body. I mean, it's all good
in the sense that it's all we're just normal. We're Yeah, no,

(11:51):
it's okay. But look your insurance that we'll cover. It's
gonna cost about sixty just for this visit. It's probably
gonna insurance after this. He is that a pocket? Yeah,
I see you looking at the vans. Let me know
if any one of them spark your interest. And uh,
I can answer any questions, do Yeah, I actually do
have a question. Yeah. Sure, I'm picturing a van like

(12:15):
this like this, but removing the van. Uh oh, that's
what you're picturing, a van like this one which is
called the Tubby by the way, and you'd like to
remove the van part because when the brochure here it
says that the Tubby will help me in exploring new

(12:38):
and uncharted territories. Is that correct? Yeah, that's right. It's
one of the upsides. Now want my feet to do that. WHOA,
what is your name? That's what is your name? What
is your name, Steve? I'm Steve. Okay, I'm Chuck, Chuck.
Nice to meet you, Chuck. I just asked your name
because I've never heard it put that way before. And
I'm a little taken aback and at the same time

(12:59):
impressed by your insights of life. Steve. I'm not here
as any kind of messieotype. I just stumbled upon some
YouTube videos not too long ago, and it's changed the
way I've seen things. What's happening in these videos people
are selling their they're living in tiny houses, or they're
living in vague van yes, like a vad. But I thought, well, Marna,

(13:21):
I'm looking at it, and I'm sorry, but you're gonna
have to redo your entire ceilings and walls. You've got
black holes. I mean, this is this is gonna be expensive,
the ceilings and the walls because the walls are holding
up the ceilings, so they can't be that bad, right,
Oh they're bad. I mean everything it is. But this
is black mole. This is bad. I mean, it's gonna
charge you somewhere. I've got house insurance. I got house insurance.

(13:46):
Oh you account? Okay, let me punch that in here. Okay,
Oh great, oh god, this is actually at a pocket.
This is gonna actually cost you part of me. Sir,
excuse me, hi, Hi, I know you don't know me.
My name is chuckle Charles. Um. This is gonna be weird.

(14:08):
But would you mind taking my wallet? No? Thank you? No,
I don't want. I don't want to. I'm just waiting
for the past, sir, thank you. Well. When I said
when I said excuse me, I was I was over
here guarding this uh ten dollar bill and I overheard you.
Did you need somebody to take that wallet? Yes? I

(14:28):
could take that wallet. It'll probably be you, but I
can't move forward. Call me a stickler. When I said
would you mind? You said no? Are you talking to
me again? Like you wouldn't mind? I think that gentleman,
but said I said, I said would you mind? And
you said no. It's kind of like how are you doing?

(14:49):
You're good? Are you well? You said no, you wouldn't mind?
So can I hold you at your word? No? I
could I intercheck Yeah, this guy I wants to touch
to you. I think that's probably best. Maybe he was
saying he wouldn't mind because he simply wouldn't do it.
I'll take that wallet for you. There's there's a wallet.

(15:10):
Oh my god, this is great. This is great. Do
you need your I D? I don't think so. From
here on out, I'm a citizen of this planet. Welcome
to David Busters. Hey, can I just see your I D?
Here you go. This is not a picture of you. Yeah,

(15:33):
but I'm clearly over twenty one. So and if you
want to do anything fun in life, you're gonna have
to have a proper I D. So, oh, come on,
you can tell I'm over twenty one. Let me in.
You're carrying a false identification. I can have you arrested.
I can have thirty five federal officers down here arresting
you for running a illegal string of I D. Making

(15:54):
a facility. Yes, Hello, this is fed. How can I
help you? Hi? Yeah, I got a local um arcade
I'm setting up here, and I got told by a
couple of buddy of mine, A couple of buddy of mine,
what the hell anyway? Um couple individual buddy Yep, I
wanted to just make sure that this line worked as

(16:15):
well as able to set up a kind of just
a system with you all. If that's how you call anytime, well,
we're here for you. You need any sort of support
you need, put some boots on the ground, we're here. Yeah,
how many agents can? I mean, I'm a small business owner.
I'm gonna pick a crazy number and say thirty five.
You call you need I sent five ft thing that
you couldn't really get ahold of the Feds. I can.

(16:38):
I can call my manager Ratios right inside. I'll give
him a call. I got a radio, sir, I'm going in.
You can't stop being I'm gonna play some ski ball
like a goddamn man anymore. What Heymrna? It struck. Yeah,

(16:58):
you're so different now I barely recognized you. That's the point. Well,
I've still been crunching the numbers and filing the papers
that hid been hard at work every day. I'm not
even taking weekends anymore. Murna. I want to give you
something before I leave, and you've probably never see me again.

(17:21):
This bag here with the dollars, dollars all inside of it,
This belongs to you. This is a hundred and twenty
thousand dollars cash. That's all I have. I sold the business.
You no longer have a job, you no longer have insurance,
but you now have a hundred and twenty thousand dollars cash.
Take the bag, well, Murna. Once you accept with that cash,

(17:43):
you are now part of the fraud ring. So you
will be charged. Yeah, it seems Charles Chuck a k A.
Leo the man he's been starting businesses and then burning
those businesses down and living off the grid, and you
are just one of his many victims. But I'm sorry,
the coordinate justice. Do you take uh, you know, take

(18:04):
to heart the fact that my bones are shattering within
my body at all times? I mean, I'm a frail
I can't go to the slammer. I can't go to
the slammer. Don't put me in there. Won't go to
this slammer. We're gonna put you in a sand prison.
That sounds like torn that's only illegal, that soundsily horrible.

(18:29):
You got the problem here with your sand prison is
your walls and your ceilings are made of sand. You
what can you do? Come on, you gotta give me
a good price here what's going on. I'll tell you
we're gonna well, we'll come in with some real walls
and some real ceilings. No, no, no, no, no, no,
we're not making it jail. It's a sand prison. Okay,
it's gotta be sand. I'm telling it. It's not doesn't work.

(18:50):
Physics doesn't work, all right, physics does work. I used
to be a physics instructor. Uh. Hi is the fed? Yeah,
it's just not gonna help. Hey, how you doing. I
would like to return my social Security number plays? Okay?
Is there something wrong with it? That's a good question. No, No,

(19:15):
change your heart. Change your heart works. You can follow it,
follow it under change your heart. Now, once you hand
it in, I do have to let you know, uh,
you will not be able to get it back. So yeah,
I guess what I'm saying is last chance. Change your mind.
We'll take it. No, I hear you, and I will

(19:36):
also keep it. I appreciate the heads up. You know
what I'm sensing here. Kind of a big day, kind
of a big step, kind of a big move. You
put a lot into this before you even came in here,
that's right, So I don't mean to question your reserve. No,
I appreciate it really, because I'm just kind of winging it.
I watched a couple of YouTube videos about you know, yeah,

(19:57):
living off the grid. Right, thanks so much for visiting
me and here. Man, I gotta say, I feel like
I'm thriving. That's the point. That's what I'm saying. You're
doing it well. I mean, I have to do it,
and I'm locked in here, but I feel like at
this point, I've been here for so long. I can't

(20:18):
even imagine what I would do if I got out
the same thing you're doing in here. I'm not doing much.
I mean, I'm getting a lot of fight point oh
really verbal, but they're bad. Yeah, mur Murna. What I'm
asking you to do is burrow out of the sand,
meet me on the outside and join me on a

(20:41):
on a question like we'll be like The Alchemist. You
know that book. I read it in high school, but
it's been a lot time. Probably probably goes over your
head in high school, but when you're at this age,
it's really starting. Remember it being short and I liked that. Yeah,
so you want the Alchemist? Where the red fern grows? Uh?

(21:03):
Is that it? Um? What the wed friend grows? Archemists
and um uh Willy Wonka in the glass elevator. Please
the sequel you get? I can't, I can't help, but
notice your smile. Oh thanks, I mean in regards to

(21:23):
my book selection choice. Oh yeah, yeah, I think there.
And my job. Yeah, I pad to be here on
my job. How much is it worth to you? Hey,
we're all in line man? Scene one? Oh my, oh
my scene too comes from listener Roman, who wrote, Hey, autemus,

(21:49):
I'm listening for years and finally that word in all caps.
I have a scene suggestion a group of doomsday preppers.
We're right, the word right in all caps. But after
they seal the door, they realized they forgot to add
a bathroom. Thanks again, Roman, number seven, number seven, Please,

(22:13):
I'm number seven. Oh hey, I got it, made it,
you made it just in time. Uh. These are your
starter shoes and your starter pants. Thank you, and that's
all we're required to give you based on what you invested,
uh prior, so I hope you're set with everything else.
Oh wow, just the shoes in the pants. Just it's

(22:37):
just no shirt. There's okay. If my my wife, my
wife and baby, they're like four or five people back
they're gonna make it in because I don't want to
go in. If they're not going to get in, Um,
I'm gonna say should they should? Right? Okay, I can't
guarante take it. I can't start interrupted. We gotta we
gotta close the doors now, Oh we do, guys. Wife

(23:00):
and that's a complimentary curry before you enter that curry.
So my wife is like, only there's three more people,
don't said my wife? And baby? Is that right, sir?
There's a baby? My baby didn't have a ticket. The problem.
The problem was she didn't have the baby when the
tickets were trying in a baby without at Kyle, Kyle,

(23:22):
make sure this guy's gonnasrect. Let's see what's going on here?
Can you eat your curry place? I gotta take the
ball back. It's delicious curry, spicier than I thought it
would be. That's good stuff. That's that's Tim's curry. That's good.
And I'm messing around, Kyle. I think you were tasked
to do something, not just comment on the curry. You're right,
He's correct. They got me again. Okay, so there are

(23:44):
people person, so you know, have to close the door.
There's anything a message you'd like us to get to
your wife and quote unquote baby. We'll pass that along, Kyl.
We can't do that the baby if he's fine. But everyone,
we gotta we gotta go, We gotta go. Here's your
shot of free fried beans. You just take that, right,
does thank you? Okay, that's weird. Follow up that back?

(24:08):
Shoot it back. There you go. That's good stuff, you know.
To tell you the truth, I thought the bunker would
be much nicer. I mean, the pictures they showed us.
I don't like it at all. Have you even had
the coffee? It tastes like piss water. Yeah, I did
have it. It did tastes like piss water. I mean, like,
what exactly do we invest in for? I don't know.

(24:32):
I mean, to be honest, I'm into coffee mostly for
the caffeine and not so much for the taste. But
good god, I don't want to feel like I'm chugging.
Attention everybody, Attention everybody. If you get the stuff that
you're doing for one moment um, a couple of quick
announcements from the outside, it has happened. We all bet
and we want yes, yes question. Is there a chance

(24:58):
that maybe we in the store. You've already put in
some like Swedish coffee or coffees that are a little
bit stronger. Sure, good, good question. Now that's a Tyler question.
Tyler's right over there. He's the one by the by
the steel door where we keep all the goods. He'll
be happy to talk to you about our options. Also. Sorry, yeah,

(25:21):
I was thinking about maybe and I don't want to
head this up just because I don't I don't like
a lot of responsibility. But if someone could hit up
like some kind of game night or something, what's your name?
My name is Clarice. Clarice. I think you are now
the head of game night. Now we got Tyler on
the provision, so we got Clarice on game Kyle is

(25:45):
your general go to guy? And I am news from
the Yes, I got a question to actually three questions.
First one, well, well, yes, sorry to people outside. Do
they suffer? Was it fast? Um? Wow, that's a good question.
I can't believe you have two more after that. Okay,

(26:05):
well you can think about if you want. The second
question is why am I the only guy that didn't
get assured? Was I like the last person? What's your uh? Zenizz?
Always see here? So when you were initially investing in
this project, you only allotted this amount. So for the

(26:27):
for the lower buy in, it's just chilly in here.
But that gentleman over there, right, you see him in
the park and the three piece suit. Now he went
in at the higher entrance level. And I need to
use the bathroom. I'm I'm actually allergic to curry or
not like seriously allergic, but it goes through me kind
of quick. So but I can't find a bathroom. Great,

(26:48):
so I'll just go through. So we have Tyler and provisions,
we have Kyle for generally have Clarice on games. Now,
if you're looking for bathrooms, I think you're gonna look
for our master builder. And that is grown huhn me grown?
Oh there you are, okay, and that is all the
news from the outside. Thank you everybody. Um, I mean,

(27:11):
that's kind of your whole job, right, You're pretty much
done for the rest of your life, all right, that's
I don't see it like that, man, because I still
want purpose, you know what I mean? For sure do
I thought you were gonna milk. I thought we're gonna
be here for a while, and I was like, it's
just one shot. I should have gotten you didn't. I mean,
that's all the news for the outside. What's what's your

(27:33):
gig here? Oh me? I just I just look at
the pipes. Oh shit, that'll last you a while. Huh oha.
Oh my god. How many pipes are in here? I
don't know. I don't Yeah, I don't know. I don't
know that Kevin Kevin check pipes. Yet I'm doing it, growing,
I'm doing it. Thanks, Kevin, you do job. Anyway, I'm

(27:56):
gonna head over to Tyler and see if I can
get some peanut butter cook. You earned it earned. We'll
catch you later, Okay, guys. So the way that the
charades is gonna work is we're not going to write
I can't do sharade, not Sharon's that you're playing. That's

(28:19):
called sharads. That's great. Um. We're gonna have so two teams,
and the way that it's gonna work, Team A is
going to verbally tell a member of Team B what
they're gonna sharade or sharad, and then that person we'll
do the sharado sharad and we'll see when their team. Now, um,

(28:40):
the category is, um, we're going to give what we're
going to be sharad. You know, is everything at organizing.
I took I said that. I said I didn't want
to be the organizer. Hey, grown, grown, Hey, it's me.
I'm the guys from news from the news. Yeah, quick question.

(29:03):
I gotta I gotta pepiece. I gotta piece out of
my booty. Grown direct, No understand, I gotta I gotta go.
Can you direct me towards the lavatory? Um lavatorium for
first class only? Not for employees? Oh yeah, ground, good

(29:27):
to see a great job in the shipter buddy, Hey guy, Hey,
super well, I work. I'm the news, the news the outside.
He's former football player, very rich, all right, I recognize him,
l a rams to years. So what are we supposed
to do? It? To the bathroom? Thank god I found you,

(29:49):
grown up. It's just the line, no line for you.
What hey, news guy. You told me he was the
one to go to for the BA through look first
class only. And based on the fact that you're the
only one who doesn't have a shirt, I'm assuming you
probably ain't got to the cheddar. Oh my god, what

(30:11):
am I supposed? Okay, it's okay, I know what pipe guy,
I know a pipe guy. I know what pipe, Kevin?
You know, I know, I know Ken Kevin, Kevin, Kevin,
he's playing the game, Kevin. What's up? Hey man? What's up?
Most of the news from the outside get to the
point given how we need some we need some peepie pipes?

(30:35):
You know what I mean? I just mean, like, where
can we go? And oh no, I don't understand what
you're talking about. It it's a he's a movie star.
He's a movie star. He's in planes, He goes in planes,
plays the planes the movie as the movie has a
ball you playing? He plays volleyball? Anyone else on our team? Guessing?

(30:58):
I mean, he's good looking, he's an awful actor. I don't.
I don't. I don't believe in the things that he's doing. No,
I don't. I'm saying that the charades you're doing are awful.
I don't just keep guessing though it's okay, Oh my god,
what what does that sound is? That? It doesn't the game?

(31:30):
Contaminant detected. Contaminant detected. Someone has to eat it. Someone
has to eat it. Contaminant detected. Do you know what
happens if this alarm goes on for more three minutes?
All right? So how do we decide who eats it?
The guy without shirt should definitely eat it. I couldn't
agree more. No shirt guy eat him up. But you

(31:51):
know that's just my thing. Oh my god, I can't.
That's a lot, you selfish sun of a bitch. What
about the rest of us? How about thinking about us?
Just yourself? Job here yet? Maybe your job? But if
you get in here, tell you what, eat it up?
I'll get you as many shirts as you need. Really,
I got a guy on the inside. Is there like

(32:12):
a mixer or anything like? Yeah, sure we can mix
it up. What are you mind there? Like some lemonade?
N When I do this, this is embarrassing about some
blueberry pie. I can throw some blober. It's some blueberry pie.

(32:32):
Three minutes laser shootout and we all die. Oh my god,
this tastes like shit. Your wife is she? Oh a kiss?
Give me a kiss? Kimmy a detected? Are you? First
of all? I'm really, actually, really really mad at you

(32:54):
that your bit. Please in minding, where Killy keep any
of the ship that has got to be seen too?
Because I know they all were lasered. Man, I was

(33:15):
stress out. Oh fuck, I need to lie down James
does not care about us, that's what. No, No, he
really doesn't. Scene three come from patron v I P.
Keroack Smith, who wrote you magnificent bastards, just made my night.
Thank you for your service. Anyway. I live in Columbus, Ohio,

(33:39):
where it's illegal to make you turns, so I'd like
to make a scene suggestion titled three point turns. Can't
wait for Tuesday. Alright, Tommy, I don't know what I'm doing.
Do I just grabbed? Tell him to okay, find this.

(34:04):
When my hands go? Where where did my hands go?
You're hands going right on. One hand on the streating wheel,
one hand on the key. Okay, we're on the keel
up metal wherever you're comfortable. This is just about God.
We're just controlling the space right now. Okay, you know what,
Let's all those let's take all those steps away. Let's

(34:25):
let's let's pop that seatbelt off just for a moment. Okay, nice,
and let's just do you want to drive? I do,
That's why I'm here. I want to drive so bad,
But you're stressed out. Maybe this was born and raised
in New York. You know what that means. I'll tell
you what it means. Well, there's that also means never dry. Yeah,

(34:48):
we got the concept of what's happening behind the wheel.
This is what I'm saying. It's like it maybe it's
not for you, Maybe you shouldn't do it. It's okay
if you don't. I want to try. Why are you
being so negative? Now? I'm not being I want to
make you comfortable. I just want to went in my turn.
What this guy comes. I've been sitting back here and

(35:10):
soon soon Sean? Okay, soon, Hey shy Sean? Who San?
Why Sean? And it's just another student, don't worry, he's
that's fine. So now I'm responsible for Sean as well.
When I'm behind the wheel, you're also responsible for me.
What is that? That part? I knew? But there's someone else,
and there's also everyone else on the road. Look, this
is what I'm saying. I'm just here for a review lesson.
Can I just maybe he can watch me as I drive? Sorry,

(35:33):
he's gonna learn previously licensed, but I have to read
and I have to go through this class again. He
got a d U so he has to come here
and not drinking. Well, I'm just it's a rotation. Each
person takes a turn at their turn. Yeah, can I
just continue my turn? What is it? What kind of

(35:53):
class do you run on here? Look, it's a tight ship. Okay,
things are going well for me personally and financially. I
have to do this. I got actually left out. You
got ft out? Oh sorry, I thought you you wipe
my face? I didn't know. Alright, Vipers, as we do
every week, we go through all the crimes that were

(36:16):
committed by the Gag. Yeah, all right, we'll start with you, eyeball.
You shoplifted uh some snacks, and you kicked the ship
out of a pay phone. Very nice, the only one
in town. And I beat the ship out of it,
very nice. Alright, nobody did uses pay phones anymore? Is

(36:38):
that really even? Know? It's pretty cool? Alright, lizard man.
Let me just say something. I was part of the
Viper since they got started, and this kind of organization
pisces me off. We used to just ride out and
just callus having How can't we just do that again?
Huh like a true Viper one. Hey, hey, hey, Tom,

(37:00):
changed times have changed. Look we don't we don't do
you turns anymore. Now we're talking about he's been here
since before we have. We know you turned? When does
this start? Look we're not cold blooded, We're just well

(37:22):
we're we are we're vipers. We are cold. That's a
damn name, man, We are in our veins. Well cute,
I mean I must all snacks. That's pretty crazy. Yeah, onions,
it's not that crazy. He's pretty tame from the bays.

(37:42):
I was doing donuts and the crosswalk. You know how
many you turns? That is? It was tail whipping babies
and carriages. Seven? You tom a viper? Seven? Well? What
say you? I mean that's these aren't know that the

(38:03):
baddest of all just bad. I just know she's bad.
That's right, real bad. You say, we don't do you turns?
I spit in your face. Do you know what I
did last week? I took a bunch of traffic and
I took him home. You made some chicken. You didn't

(38:26):
give us a chance to answer. You asked a question,
miss here. You gotta let us answer. Alright, Albert quirquie
p d. Listen up, the vipers. There's still a problem.
Oh god, come on, holster your weapons. Everybody put it

(38:49):
in another ceiling, all right, all the time. Every time
you shoot up, the ceiling falls onto the ground. Sand No, sorry, sorry,
j If I'm when we shoot our guns and the
ceiling falls, it falls on the floor, not on the ground.
That's what I said. I'm pretty sure. Al Right, Well,
let's Tommy, you want to play that back? Thank you?

(39:10):
I want to just keep moving on with whatever this
guys ready, alright, Tommy, if you can stop recording, then
that'd be appreciative as well. Alright, vipers are dangerous, flank
How how was word? Did they play the recording back
like you asked? Uh? No, they didn't. Well, captain, I'm

(39:35):
very happy you're here, but at our dinner table, Hank
is in charge, but I was invited. Okay, Hank is
you are? But they they didn't play the tape back.
The starge is right, and that's why they made him
a captain. Such bullshit. Should I leave? You're a guest,

(39:55):
especially good honey. Thank you for street corn that only
you know I got to make I do. Thank you.
Is it my turn to drive? If you don't want
to do this, then we don't have to. We can
find another way. Do you want to maybe get on
like a I mean I think a motorcycle be even

(40:16):
scarier for you gonna get I'm gonna switch seats with Sean.
He wants to drive. I'd like to see. Okay, I'm
gonna get in the back and I'm gonna learn from Sean.
Go ahead, fucking ridiculous. I've been waiting for my turn.
Is that whiskey? Okay? Seatbelt buckles and one hand the wheel,

(40:37):
one hand the key, starter up, okay, perfect break, putting
to drive to check shout my alif the vipers bull over,
bull over, the viper's active right now, Vipers are act

(41:00):
right now, I all back up here. It's just it's
just me. I'm the only one that's on Yeah, I'm
the only one on duty. We you're weak. I mean
not like I don't mean that in a mean way.
I mean like, these are the Vipers are dealing with. Okay, okay, listen,
I want to through the same training as you did, buddy. Okay,

(41:22):
and right now I'm the only backup you have, so
you better get on board. You better shut the fuck mcguarquy,
p d Uh. Everybody. We had an incident with the vipers, um,
but we did. Listen, you two left it up because
you got into an argument. We have it, I'll tape.
Can we play that tape back? Let's hear this part

(41:47):
right here? What if I pull my gun out on
you right now? Now? Who's weak? Are you kidding me?
Who's week? I have a gun? I pull it right
back on you? Pause? Pause, Right there. At that point,
two shots were fired into scott. Now do you see
how the difference is when you shoot into the scott
and not into the ceiling? All right? So that's what

(42:10):
they hit the ground? There you go. This time they
hit a couple of innocent bystandards were in the car,
were now lying on the ground, but we planned to
the guns next to them, so it looked that they
shot him off in a celebration of sorts. And because
we're not. And then what happened, and we went to
their funeral and we're in trouble with you, but not

(42:30):
by the law. Went to the funeral. We brought flowers
because we're the good okay, alright, good meeting everybody. Um,
that's all I got. Hey, hey, eyeball, you got a sick? Yeah,
I got a sick What do you need? Look it's

(42:51):
been brought to chicken. Cool. What you did the other day?
There was like I didn't expect that out of you.
Thanks means a lot, a lot. You mean when I
pretended to be a slower kid and they hopped into
that car and did all those well, I didn't know
you were pretending to be a slower kid. I don't mean,
I mean, I didn't mean slow. I just meant like

(43:13):
a like a dumb kid, because I'm a smoke kid.
Whatever you want. I mean, I think that was just port.
I mean, I think that was the shocking reveal. I
don't think we meant like the speed of you. I
think that's what we was shocking, you know what I mean?
You want to talk about, man, The vipers used to
be something. Man, we used to be a renegade. One
of us is a rat. We got somebody from the

(43:34):
aber Querque Pede in our midst right now. Well, vipers
eat rats. Well be that as it may. One of
us here is also a mole, a rat, animal males
if they're in the same habitat. That's true. That is
a hundred percent true. Why don't we do ourselves a
little testy? Huh hug up, hug up. All right, let's

(44:01):
start doing a little you turns here, but can't hear
you can turn your hogs dofid hold On, I said, like,
what was the animals that Ricky Dicky Tabvy was Ricky
Dicky Tabby best son of a mission. We can cut up.

(44:23):
You'll bring him back from the dead. You know that
that made is true? Like candy Man. That happens. Candy
Man comes back when you say candy Man three So
don't you say it three times. Goddamn hog, we're gonna
do with you. We're gonna can you hear me now,
We're gonna do a U turn. Yeah, unless you're unless

(44:49):
you're a mole somebody called, Oh my god, it's candy man. Hey,
I used to be piper when I was all right,
we're kind of doing some internal business and stuff. Anyway
you want to do. Look at you turn with us?
Or you turn? Those are illegal? What look you just

(45:18):
showed up, kiddy man. There's a lot of things like alright,
alper kickipedi, alber kikipedi. Alright, got around the captain happening
to the captain. What I want to get to you
got demoted to hell? Oh my god, never liked he
killed he got killed last night. Oh my god. Hold on,
it gets worse. So he was murdered. You call it demotion, coold,

(45:46):
he demoted to hell? God, do you said that you
really had demoted? He got hold on something. He was
shot by a nine millimeter that was registered in Albuquerque Pete,
which means one of us is a viper. It was you.

(46:07):
You did it, You did about it, You told us
about it. If you get demoted to hell? Right because
we turn a phrase, oh God, because he wasn't no good.
You did it all the time at all of our houses.
I mean he came to dinner at all of our houses.

(46:28):
He was really nice. Good ton Anyway, I gotta go
to lunch. But one of you guys as a viper.
I'll let you guys figure out who it is you.
I just gotta be honest, all your undercover work posting

(46:49):
as you know, a kid that doesn't speed in cars
posting essay was a captain of the Albuquerque Pete. What
were you posting this? Yeah? That's pretty good. Where do
you take acting classes? Are you familiar with Uda Hagan? No? No, look,
people of the Adlers, okay, people of the Stanislavskys. Who

(47:15):
are other teachers you take get a lot of trauma yeah, okay,
so today we're gonna just focus on some Uda Hoggan.
Does anyone have any questions before we get started? Yes,
you over on the side by the pastries. Yeah, I'm

(47:36):
just auditing this class, but I did want to know, Um,
what is that? You want to know? What? What is what?
The Uda Hogan is? Okay, I have a seat, won't
you no reason for you to stand when you ask questions? So,
Uda Hogan, I have a question. Okay, let's get to

(47:58):
your question before I answer the previous. Um, I signed
up for this class to succeed. Do I need to
want a career in acting? Because really I just did it.
I already have a career, and I really just did
so that I could go undercover as a career. Do
you have I'm sorry, I'm I'm part of the viper king.

(48:20):
I don't know if I can take a class with
a cup Meisner method. Did you look this up recently?
It seems like maybe you just pick this up. No,
the practical aesthetics acting technique, these are all pretty running
the mill. Hey man, we asked you for teachers and
no styles. All right, so we're yeah, Odahgan, what is

(48:47):
that an ikea? What is that an ikea? Yeah, And
I went to one of your udahging classes. You know
there's a cup in it, but the hell there's a cup.
Maybe we at ourselves a rat here taking the acting
rat class. Maybe I'm such a good actor that I
can pretend to be a viper who's pretending to be

(49:08):
a kid who isn't the smartest kid in his class.
But it's not like development. So it was so it
was that it wasn't about speeding. It was that I'm saying,
I inhabited does carry, Maybe I can't. I'm the type
of actor that can check. I d I get a
good it doesn't have, he doesn't have. I gotta loose.

(49:31):
I got a loose car. That's a tissue. He doesn't
open it up. No money. Open that card up, bro,
that tissue up as her card inside. Look, I'm gonna
be honest with you guys. And nothing. I got no name,
no secial security number. We call you patch, which is

(49:52):
something I wish you would not hold. He's just acting
right now. Damn it. Show show. Oh man, it's just
so fun. I and unraveled all that onion had layers. Uh,
let's thank ye. A little horse onions to go six

(50:15):
for a dozen. But now let's thank you Jackie Gonzalez
to ruth they please thank you Jackie. Where will people
find you and your genius. I'm at Jackie do Ruthie
on Instagram and I have a good time. Yeah, and
I have a good time. And if somebody wanted to

(50:36):
drop you a line, they just write to you. If
they wanted to drop the personal line, I guess they
could um slide in my g M. Sure you know
I only have one email. I can't just be shotting
that one out. No, no, no, you know, plans, plans
for the rest of the day, the rest. I'm actually

(50:58):
gonna get Cuban food tonight. I'm very excited. Yeah, I'm very,
very very excited. Our our friends watched our dog last
weekend and so we are taking them to dinner. And
so you'll be going out to Cuban food or it's
not being delivered outside. We'll be eating outside, right, So
if the Cuban food some of it somehow falls off

(51:21):
the table onto the you'll be dining inside. Just chack. Okay,
thank you Jackie a tool sing, Thank you so much
for being here. Thank you very much. It's always pleasure.
Thanks for having me. Great to be here. If everyone
wants to follow my thoughts and stuff at a tool time,

(51:44):
whatever medium you'd like. If they want to follow your thoughts, ye,
try to put them out Okay, cool. I appreciate you
sharing those stuffs. Chris Alvarado. That's fun, right, it was fun,
crazy fun. Yeah. Like, what time is a good time
for you to meet at the Costco business center later today? Dude?

(52:07):
This is it? This was my to do was recorded
king me this. Oh so you're you're open wide open?
We can meet there like in and out. Yeah, although
we go to different we go to different business centers.
Keep car all right? Fair enough? I asked for the record, James,
m hmm, Well, thank you for having me today. I

(52:30):
think it's possible we go to the same Costco. I've
never seen the business center there. Oh no, no, oh no, no,
I'm gonna take you, James. That's cute though. That's cute
to see there's a business center. They're cute. I mean,
you're gonna gonna come over to my place, James. We're
gonna go in my car and I'm gonna take you
to a different place that is called the Costco Business Center.
It's a whole what's the deal. It's uh, don't okay, don't.

(52:57):
It reminds me of when Joey was saying the hot
dog buns and stuff like that. You know, do you
know what I'm saying? This is important? It is important.
This is important, Kevin, You're getting the first class attitude.
Real good. Yeah, that's right. I love it. Uh, Joey,

(53:19):
you know you can check me out. God bless tim
Tom on Instagram. I'm also on the TikTok. I got
some I'm I'm doing acting lessons. So if you want
to come on there, you acting lessons or teaching or
attending the both both of those. So if you want
to get on there and learn some acting tips, some

(53:39):
some inside so just check it up. All right? Cool?
Let's thank you Mr dug Bine find folks that I
hurt media Tom thump, thank you each and every damn
one of you. Please be kind to each other. We'd
appreciate it. Until next time, I'm your host, Kevin Pollock
saying aid and a football