September 23, 2021 • 53 mins
Mack the Knife at the dentist.
Titans of slam poetry collide.
Dogs run the world & humans are the pets.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to another episode of Welcome to This I'm
your host, Cacopologists. Well, if you want me to answer
the question, then I'm gonna need something from you. Something
I'd like to call four thousand dollars, but i'd aggress.
Let's meet to show no particular orders. Say hey to
Craig Kakowski. Kakow, what consistently misused word or phrase has
(00:26):
you at your breaking point these days? I think I
might have covered this already, but I'm I still hear
jibe and jive. Uh, people saying jive when they mean gibe.
So just hit that be a little harder, unless you're
talking about nonsense, which is jive. Okay. I don't think
(00:48):
you have covered that, and I appreciate you reaching into
the one things to mesh together. If you're talking about
j I B E. If you're talking about joking, that's
g I B E. If you're talking about nons in
so that's j I V Okay. Did everyone get that
things do not jive together? They jibe together, for goodness sake,
I've never heard that before. This is why Craig is here.
(01:11):
Don't hit the bees and hit the fucking b Please
say hello. To Chris Alvarado Primetime, Ready, what tough lesson
would you care to share from the summer? What did
you learn that's a tough lesson over the summer that
you'd like to pay forward? No? Why, No, Sometimes it's
(01:34):
a tough one. I'm just going to use this time
to tell a quick story that I was at the
dog park talking to a guy who said he knows
comedy and he frequents m Street Cafe. And then I said,
if you know, this is no joke, And I said,
do you know comedy? You know, I'm sure cafe? Do
you know Gary and Honey Williams? And he goes, he goes, yeah,
(01:57):
he goes there, he's he's a he's a comedy guy
like you, like you wouldn't know my name, but like
we know each other. And I was like, Okay, that's
a that's a true story. That's an actual true story
at the dog at the dog sounds legit. That's a
good story because it's truthful. That's what I like about.
So maybe the lasson I learned was, you know, you know,
even if you drop a SuperStar's name, it doesn't always
(02:22):
I don't know if I don't, I don't know, I
don't know. It doesn't have a great story. It is
still a great story. Were you planning on getting something
from the dog park? What do you mean like you
dropped you to drop us to lif like, oh, I
Madonna and me are good friends. And I say that
like an air Juan, and then they gave me like
a loaf of bread. There's usually a takeaway. Yeah, I
(02:45):
guess I was saying, oh, you know comedy and you
go to the Mtry Cafe? Okay, then then do you
know Gary Anthony Williams? And he was like, yeah, of course, yeah,
and he does. Yeah, do you know him? That guy
from the I go to the dog park? What the hell?
(03:05):
It's Gary Anthony Williams? Downtown Julie Brown lover. Are you
still in touch with Julie? Uh? Actually I am. I'm
not as in touch with her as I would like
to be. But Kevin, you know, I don't like to
call people racist, but I got a little fishbone to
(03:26):
pick with. Craig Kakowski in Spanish and Chris Alvabo will
let you know this. The B and the V sound
is actually a blended sound that's like one sound blended.
So you're really coming down, like if you hurt somebody
of Latino descent, saying jib or give you really need to? Like,
(03:47):
I don't want to cuss, but you need to. Of course,
for my Castilian friends, I will make that exception of that.
I thought that was understood. I was doing that diet tribe. Yes, then,
as the guy at the dog working coffee shop says,
my bad, always the Castilian exemption, okay. And now James Ceney,
(04:11):
Johnny Janet, Jim, how are you on ice skates? Honestly, yes,
I guess. I mean I can't do any tricks, but
I can I can keep on my feet. Uh it
always I get really um as are the idea that
these blades are actually not skating on ice, but it's
(04:32):
melted water. And I love the idea of the science
behind ice skating. Um. But yeah, I think I'm good
at ice skating better than roller blading. Oh. I always
love it when I asked the right person. And last,
but keep your condoms on. If you think of Leasa,
it's Joey Greer Ron calm killer. How do you spell relief?
(04:57):
I know you don't really want me to spell it.
You want me to give you what I do for
my own relief. But I will spell it because I
think a lot of people don't know how to spell it,
and I think it's important to educate. Um leaf not
a lot to look it up, uh I before you
(05:21):
except after see see. Let's suggestions are gathered from listen
to emails or from our patron v I ps to
be a patron support of the show and enjoy exclusive
content like oh I don't know, standalone bonus scenes, video
over a recording sessions, or at the highest level, the
(05:44):
I'll come in here act. You'll have a chance to
join one of these in fact recording sessions live in
the zoom with us. Just head on over to patron
dot com slash out than it is if you'd like
to see suggestion via email. Also, if you have the patron,
you can see the videos I said, and you can
see the antics of one Joey Greer And that is
what the rest of us are laughing at at these
weird times that don't seem to make sense unless in
(06:07):
fact you have the video. If you like some of
the scene suggestion without video, please write to the podcast
at our newish email address, Alcomy this s email at
gmail dot com that's talk to female seen one comes
Patron v I p Alcmaniam Nicholas Markaur who wrote you
all give a masterclass and switching from straight men to
(06:30):
maniac so well each episode, as all artists, you make
it seem so easy. Scene suggestion Mac the knife at
the dentist. You all know your Brett. I take it,
Craig won't let me down, truly yours, Nicholas, Dr Barnster.
Dr Barnster, sir, I'm sorry you're gonna have to fill
out the form as I said to you can't just
(06:51):
barge in on the doctor. May I just see Dr Barnster? Yes,
that's an eight by ten of him on the wall there.
Technically which one is it? Which one is it the
month the left or the ones? Yes, it's the one
to the left. Yes, May I take two hours just
to stand and stare at it? I mean, thank you
very well, thank you so much, thank you. Yes, next,
(07:14):
who's next? You are? Let's go with you the doctor?
I know what do you need? What can I get
you today? Sir? Right now, I'm ready, okay, Philip, Philip,
doctor the doctor will see you now, Mr Philip, Oh god, okay,
okay come on, and I'm so glad that guy is
(07:35):
out of this waiting room. Wow creep, Oh guy, I'm sorry,
did you say something? Oh yeah, I was just talking
aloud that I guess Philip is his name whatever, so weird.
I'm sorry. I was staring at the state by tin
of Dr Burns staring here. Oh the shark babe has
(07:56):
such teeth. Dear huh, you got a lot of teeth
in there, dear little record. Alright, so what are we
doing exactly? Oh? Oh, this is a choose your own event? Alright, alright,
(08:20):
it's like any opera here, but we've got going on,
like alright, alright, I'm pulling out. I'm pulling out. I
don't want unnecessary work. He just talking now, you can
just talk to me now, Okay, I don't need any
(08:41):
unnecessary work whatever you think's necessary. Like I don't want
I don't know what you mean, choose your own adventure.
Just I just want like a standard check up and
like if there's something we could schedule another time to
come in to fix it, like you know, well, then
let me let's get some X ories done. Jen Jenny Diver, Yes, yes,
(09:02):
can you take some X phrays please, of course, yes,
Mr Philip here, and I'm gonna go walk around the
waiting room just to see who's out there. Do you
want me to get that? I guess no, you do
the X rays? Okay, yes, open up, Mr Phillip dental
dental doctor. Hey can you hear me? It's my telephone working?
(09:24):
I'm sorry, Hello, it's my telephone. Can you hear this
is my telephone? Never mind, I'm the dental doctor. Can
you hear me though? Yes? Hi, hi doctor? Yeah? How
are you doing? This is just oh no, no, this
is mr this is this is Ladder London. Oh yes, yes,
(09:50):
I wanted to come in for for an appointment just
to look at your photograph eight by eight by ten
on the wall. Okay, okay, um when stood for you?
When it's good for the photograph? Well, miss Lenia, um
it's here all day um um. Now at two pm
(10:12):
I had to have a suky tadry Okay, the line
I can't remember. I would get in the wrong line.
Where does the line fall on the right? On the right?
I think I think I'll be there to the hour
you see? Great? Good? Good? Oh how's everyone doing in
(10:35):
the waiting room? Good? Good? Are you able to see. Uh,
Detective Murphy get in the office. What does it search,
Detective Murphy. Uh, you see this dentistist come back into town.
I got a quipped with you search. He's a dental doctor.
(10:58):
Is there a difference in those the the of Murphy.
It might be semantics, but he does insist on the difference. Look,
I wanted to talk to you about him and this
supposed crimes pre going on since he got back. But
what I'd rather do is just kind of break down
these words dentists and dental doctor and make sure that
we're chasing the right raccoon up the right tree. If
(11:19):
you understand why I meant your serge, well, a dentist,
I guess uh is mainly concerned for your teeth. Of
course that's a good concern to have. Okay, go ahead,
and he gets a DDS doctor of doctor Wait a minute,
doctor of dental services. Yeah, I mean I've heard of him.
(11:40):
Everyone around the ward has heard of the guy. Apparently
this psychopath is going in there doing surgeries on everyone's
individual teeth, like you know, taking out different lungs or
different ribs whatever from the tooth. I think it's all
fucking whack. Job. But he says he's a dental doctor,
so I guess that's how he gets it done, you
know what I mean? Can we get another knife over here?
This one? This one's out jock knife. Do you need
a jock Yeah, that'll do. I don't know where he lives,
(12:04):
all right, man, So if you want to know that information,
you're gonna have to talk to somebody else. You can
talk to Teresa over at the oils Center house. She
knows everything you need to know. I'm sorry I was
trying to get you a jack if I was keeping
it out of sight, But what was the last thing
you just said? I said, talked to Teresa. She's at
the oil Center house, the oil sent the house that
(12:26):
pertained to me. I was just curious as to what
you were saying. No, I know, I know, I don't
I don't mind, I don't mind. We were a pretty
type type ship. It's not a tight ship, but it's
a type ship. So al right, sir, uh the one
who said type ship. Yeah, I just I just wanted
to check here before you go into see the dentist.
(12:46):
I know that you're having a problem with certain sounds,
foul sounds, and yes, hey, are you raising your hand?
I think I thought, yes, oh good, No, I'm not
about to rob you, and I did not. I was
just saying, I am oh, yes, I understood that. But
when you put both hands up, I thought that you
thought I was about to rob you, and I assure
(13:07):
you I'm actually here to give you something. Oh great information. Uh.
The doctor is in town and he does want to
see you. But first he wants to take a look
at your u villa and see if that has anything
to do with your speech impediment that you've seen. Okay,
all right, Um, I have a penis instead of your ubila.
(13:30):
Then the doctor might like to see your penis. He
hasn't seen one of those in quite some bit. Uh.
Do you have a photo of it that I can
take into him by ten glossy instead? You know what, sir,
Instead of showing this to the doctor, I'm going to
hang it right here on the wall next to Dr
Burnster's head shot. I have I have an appointment. The
(13:52):
name is patient, John Patient. I'm sorry, Patient Patient John Patient.
My name is John Patient. I'm here to see the
dental doctor. Okay, the the dedis yes, by the way,
I am I am actually not his secretary. Let me
get his secret I mean, I mean secretary secretary. Fill
out this form. Please? Are you a new patient or existing?
(14:16):
I exist? Whatever? Just fill this out? Please? Thank you?
What insurance? Do you have a summing? You do? Yeah?
I've got cross. I was gonna say, signa Okay, Phil,
(14:36):
I don't know what to tell you. Can't take another
shick because your mouth all right, everybody seen I was
getting loaded up. That was bretty and I do love
me three penny offer. I'll tell you what oh baby
(14:57):
seem too, goes listener. Connor wrote, he alchemists from the
crime fighting cardinals of Vatican City to the thirty eight
year old school prom king. Your podcast has brought me
so much happiness. I'd be it, or it would be
an honor to hear you guys play out the following scene,
(15:18):
Titans of Slam Poetry collide. There's a Cobb salad waiting
here if you ever get to Canada, Signed Connor son Son.
You know I'm dying tonight. It's well documented. Of course.
What I need you to do anything when you go
(15:40):
to that slam poetry contest of yours, right, I need
you to take fuck me I'll never I'll never know
what he wanted me to do. It, all right, get
out of here. He's dead. Get on, move on some
forms or something for me to fill out as his net.
(16:03):
Get the funk out of I don't know why are
you doing this to me? Alright? Everybody, uh, as we
know the competition will begin at midnight. Now we are
doing street rules rules, man, Hey brother, Hey man, I'm
from I'm from a different city. I don't know if
your screet rules are the same thing as my screet rules.
(16:25):
My brother, I don't know the street rules either, So
if you could go back over them again, I'd like,
whoa buddy, he's up on the street talk. Okay, what
excuse me? Go ahead, explain us to rules. Please condolences
about your father. Alright, thanks very much my father. Let's
make that crystal fucking clear in case it wasn't, Thank you, sir. Sorry. Alright,
(16:49):
Street rules as follows, No guts, no glory, Yes, saying
that right out of the gates. So you know this
isn't This isn't Connecticut, this isn't the East Coast, the Midwest.
Street Rules, No guts, no glory and number two rhythm
Rhythm rhythm. So no, my street rules are no guts,
(17:10):
no glory is that's one thing that's not. No guts
number one, no glory number two. You know what. Jeez,
always I didn't. I didn't catch that. Yep, that's one.
No guts, no glory number two rhythm rhythm, rhythm, no gut,
no glorious compound. It's yeah. Uh. And third, this is
not an official street rule, but you don't have a
little fun. You know what I mean? Speak speak, speak
(17:32):
the way you need to speak. I intend to make
this my own. I ain't gonna lastly, I intend to
make it my own. Now, I want to use this
time to do a quick introduction of all of our
competitors this evening um place. Introduce yourselves introduced. Yeah, you
said you were going to introduce U. Okay, we'll do well,
do um. Well. You guys all know me. I'm Freddy Fabulous. Okay, Freddy,
(18:00):
I'll be uh, I'll be m seeing tonight. Now to
my left over here, this gentleman, the one who was
excited to learn about street rules stuff there the same
as history rules. You might not you might not know him,
but he's he's building a name in this community. His
name is Sea Lion, Sally, It's Klein. It's Klein Sally.
(18:22):
What oh clin cliss Sally? Oh co Coco clan Klein Sally. Okay,
what did you say? It was Sea Lion man? Call
you selin. My first name is Klein. Well is there
a dash between the sea and line? Yeah, that's that's right.
(18:48):
All right, But I mean these introductions are gonna take
all night. Let's just keep going here. We got we got,
we got jenk we got uh stealing? What the hell
is going on? He? Why did he get like this?
If you don't your memory, Marvin MQ fabulous, I don't
(19:15):
know what happened out there, but I don't know if
you're gonna be able to host next year. Wait, wasn't
that bad? It was really it was uncomfortable. Wait okay,
but like it was a lot of information. I had
to go over the street rules. Did you let me
say that? Yeah? And a lot of them weren't even
the rules that we agreed on. They were one of
you just made up in the moment. I mean, you
(19:35):
don't even talk about the prize. I mean we talked
about that the loser gets cut. Let me in, let
me in. It's Marvin mque two parts question in five parts.
You let me in, man, wait bringing the flames already?
How can we help you? Marvin? Yo? Look, I ain't
gonna lie to you. Man. I'm known off from coast
to coast for doing poetry that is the most. But
(19:56):
that young brother out there who's daddy died tonight, Man,
I'm gonna tell you right now, just a safe face
for myself, I'm gonna throw my poetry game so he
can win for his daddy. His dad's already dead. It
doesn't matter, no man. For what I understand, the right
kind of poetry and prayers can bring the dead man back.
But listen, Mary, Hey, that may be true, Marvin, but
(20:17):
I didn't go over the what was it like the winnings? Like,
Here's what I'm trying to say. If you lose this
to come on, you're gonna get cut. I mean, are
you willing to do that for him? For his daddy? Look,
my daddy died before I was born. Okay, my mother
(20:37):
died three weeks before I came on to this earth.
What I was born in offense? At birth? I never
knew my dad and never knew my mom. Instead, of
sucking on suckers. I sucked on my thumb. I didn't
have a bad Sorry, this is great. I can't believe
(21:02):
that motherfucker just walked into the office and just rat
it off his act and won the whole fucking thing.
We don't even get a chance. My dad's gonna just
sit there in a grave. And what am I gonna do?
You know what's even craziest fuck, He's posted exactly what
you have, Marfa MQ. Look, I know Marfa MQ. I
(21:25):
was a little kid the n C I S fan. Yeah, No,
he's the ship, He's the total ship. The guy. Just
we should go tell Marfa MQ. Somebody's pretended to beat him.
I don't think he. I think he just co opted
his name. I think he just threw it out there
like he could use any fucking name he wanted. Alright,
So I guess I'm just gonna like not do this
job anymore then, all right, all right, so hold on,
(21:47):
who's gonna help me move this paper around? Well? I mean, well,
I'm quitting the paper job, but I'm also quitting my
MC and job. Oh you're an m C. That's the thing.
You wouldn't think so nobody knows. I have so stage
fright and social anxiety. I get nervous and situations. And yeah,
I still said I could do what I could do it,
you know, but I can't move this paper either. Well
(22:08):
hold on, I mean, can you just give me two weeks?
Two weeks, two weeks? This guy Februne, I need to
replace the position I can't. Just would you call me fibrun?
I prefer to be called fabulous fabulous? Okay, Well, you
(22:33):
pick up the phone man, pick up the phone what England?
Pick up the phone man? Come on, hello, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jeremy, Jeremy, yo, Yo,
this is Franklin. I did that ship man. I pretended
I was marveling with you. I wanted this motherfucker man,
Jesus Christ, are you serious? Yeah, man, oh my god,
that's sick. You just told me four dollars because you
said that I couldn't treat people and think I was
(22:53):
morvling with you. Quite quite damn, And I can't. I
can't talk about money right now. Look, yeah, yeah, yeah,
let's work with somebody in the room with you. If
they are not, I'll hear the wind. Yeah, somebody in
the room with you. Okay, we won't call money. Okay,
go ahead. No talking on the phone at the table, Okay,
(23:17):
a family. I know, I'm just on you haven't dinner, man,
I'm on such a high from pretending that I'm marking
with you that I have not eaten in three days.
Just laid a phone down by your food so I
can hear you too, Man, what do you want to eat?
I got the rules, the dinner rules. That the dinner rules.
Flee what I want to tell you? What doing your favor?
(23:40):
Eat your food at alphabetical order? Man, That ship always
gets me green bean. What do you mean that I've
won a regional poetry slam competition. I've got to go
to nationals now, it's the rules. Um, I don't remember
doing that at all. Well, it's your name and it's
(24:00):
your prize. Listen, you're one of the greats obviously. I mean,
you don't even remember winning, and then you want thank you.
I'm fabulous? Am I saying it right? Okay? I'm falling
off a little bit, Mr MQ. I lost my confidence.
Can't even introduce people. How do you do it? Well?
(24:25):
I don't think about it very much. I don't remember
very much all the great say that I just kind
of go with the flow. I guess you get in
flow mind a little bit. What the hell? Just dirty
your room? How? How are you hi? I scheduled the
visit in my room. We're gonna talk about that later, Marvin. Okay, great?
(24:50):
Are you here? As you visiting Marvin? Are you visiting
someone another family member? Yeah, let's just visiting Marvin. I'm
actually on my way out. Did you know he wanted
you want to slam poetry contest? I want a regional
slam going to nationals Now you went outside the property?
I guess I did. Okay, Hey, I don't know if
you're interested in slim poetry, but here's the ticket if
you want to come see Marvin. Uh fight for the
(25:12):
title the town? Huh? Well, you gotta poetry fight all
the greats, all the other regional greats. Now, this is
the Titans of Slim Poetry. This is what this this
evening is called. I won't be hosting because obviously you
can tell them about a public speaking, but everything that
you have said, oh you're too much, you can't be
(25:33):
that bad. Look, I'm not doing it unless you come
with me. What you're gonna be my hype man, Are
you gonna sign him out? Is that you gotta sign
me out? Other way? They keep me here on the
lock and key, y'all sign him out? Hey, will you?
Will you come with us me? Yeah? I haven't left
(25:58):
these halls and in five years. I don't know if
that's true. But you know, these these competitions, sure they
get bloody, but they also get very inspiring. And you say,
nationals are in Omaha this year for instance, you know what,
check this out. Here's one of the Here was one
(26:19):
of the winning lines from last year's Titans. This line
poetry contests a line You're just gonna give us one line? Yeah? Yeah,
like a sea line? Yeah yeah, I guess sea line ready,
because if I ever came quickly, I wouldn't even be
there now something before that rhyme with it. It was incredible,
(26:41):
But that was the that that line ended the whole thing.
How do you feel I feel context? Yeah, I don't
really under a well, just you gotta come. Well wait
what before you go? Hey, welcome, welcome, Oma. This is
the state line before you cross over. We just wanna
(27:02):
everyone here is so welcoming. We just want to just
personally thank you all for coming here, all right, and
and giving your business and and all that. So so um,
just just thank thank you so much for coming in.
Um and is this the only way to get into okay? Cool?
Uh yeah yeah so um um if you uh you
(27:29):
know now now it's cool? Cool you need I d
how this work? No, no, don't so we want to go.
I'm good to go, of course. Yeah. Just come on in.
I just you know, I want to say hi right on.
Hey man, I love you. I love you man. If
you need any love you too. If you need anything. Um,
Loven mcku is in town. Just ask for me, all right,
(27:51):
you're murdered m yeah stuff yeah yeah yeah, get in here,
get in here, come on there. Feel oh it feels
different in Omaha. Okay, thank you brother. Got air conditioning,
yeah all right, air conditioning outside. This is beautiful. I
love it. Thank you. Alright, Titans, gather around, gather around now.
(28:12):
I will not be am seeing. I'm actually here on
behalf of Marvin mqugh. I will be hype manning this year.
But the staff has asked me to pass long a
couple of things. One we're doing, um concrete rules, So
get the talk. What's happening. And what you said, you
here on behalf of me. I think he means he's
(28:35):
here on behalf of me. Ship he said he's the
on behalf of Marvin McK. He did say on behalf
of Marvin mcky're going at it finally, because I'm Marvin
mckugh and you're Marvin mctoo Ohn McK and I'm Marvin
(28:55):
mick two, I will say, to hell with all of you,
it's begun. Oh I've defeated. I've defeated. No, wait, no,
I can't beat. I can't top that. I came in
hot and then he came in hotter, and I'm done.
You're the whoever you are. You're Marvin muit Wait wait, wait,
(29:17):
wait a minute, Hell yeah, you're the real Marvel mque
makes some noise famibulous. I'm just saying, when you start
your sentences off life, you can't. I came in hot,
you came in hotter. It's those kind of things that
helped me be who I am today. You are the
(29:37):
in gender of greatness. Guys, I'm a sham. My name
is Zad Truth. That didn't rhyme at all. No, I
can't rhyme unless I'm pretending that I'm Marvin mque Well,
we're still have two other competitors, so really beautiful speech
(29:58):
and youtuo, that was a good round. Did you want
to go as the mayor of Oklahoma? I just want
to say, this whole experience we're in the wrong sting
has been so refreshing and who let him in here?
So wild that I just want to give the key
of the city to Zed. Uh it's dead, Z's dead.
(30:22):
That scene too, Oh, man, Kevin, I know what that's from. Yeah,
thank you, and that was for you, my friend raised
in Oklahoma. Uh. Scene three comes from patron VP Jessica Green,
who wrote, Hello, you guys are all amazing. I love
(30:44):
the original improvisers and all the guests appearances suggestion dogs
run the world, humans are the pets. That's just perfect.
I hope you're all doing well mentally in staying safe eyasically.
Jess Hey, where'd you get that sweet looking color? Man?
(31:08):
I've been wearing it for a while. I just I
just recently got it washed, so it looks a little
a little bit nicer. It's got look, it's got my
name on it looks fresh as the house. How long
is your owner on vacation, and it's just, you know what,
the swapped things up. What do you mean? Uh, well,
we swept things up. I uh, I don't stay with
(31:29):
my owner anymore. What do you do? Just hang out
here at the kennel. I'm ferrel get out here. They
pulled me in here. Yeah, I know they're probably gonna
put me down. Oh God, bust you out. Maybe maybe
you can put a good word in for your owner.
Maybe you can, uh, maybe I can come home with you. Guys,
my owners are rot wilder. Man. There's no talking amount
(31:51):
of anything, but let's bust you out of here. Do
you think so? Yeah? D you get a couple of
fellas together. It comes to guard this bullshit every day.
He's looking right at you, sniffing your asshole. This is
(32:17):
he just gotta stand. There was once swap once swap collars. No,
I don't think so he's sniffing your asshole. I'm good.
That's unnecessary, okay, man? No, No, we maybe maybe, uh
you know what, next next person comes in here, let's
(32:39):
and don't tell him what I said. Let's swap collars.
It looks like he just put the tip in. Are
you all right? It was pretty bad. It was. It
was pretty bad. Actually it was worse than it looks
It looked pretty. It was his whole snow. Okay, it
was this whole snow. Wow. All right, but you're gonna
be okay, you can shake it off. I'm not gonna
(32:59):
be okay. Hey, I gotta get somebody swap collars because
you're gonna put me down. You're gonna you're gonna put
me down, right, you got it? I think help me.
I don't care how many times they bring me to
the park. I'm not gonna be running around. You know
what I'm saying? What do you have against little excising?
I have nothing against it, just like I don't want
(33:20):
to do it. That means you kind of have something
against it, right, if you don't want to do it
like that? Yeah, if I have something against it, it it
doesn't mean like I don't know, you can't do it.
You know what I'm saying, right, I don't want to
psychologically talk with you here. I just want to find
out what's up, what's going on? You're asking me what's
going on my mind? That's definitely a psychological talk. Hey,
(33:41):
I'm chuck. I'm chuck. Hi, guys, I'm Chuck. Chuck there. Okay, Well,
if you're looking for this, and if you're looking for
Zip to run around with you, that's not happening. Can
stop doing them and let them run around if he
wants to. Okay, dude, get the funk away from you.
I'll knock you the funk out if you come here
me all right, sip seriously, Lett, give a ship, dude,
(34:04):
I want the psychopath near me. We've known each other
for a year and or seven. What the hell is
going on? I just don't give me. I don't want
to do this, man, I don't want to do E
to E snopped. That's not What do you want? What
do you want? I don't know. I don't want to
I don't want to be fucking naked all the time.
(34:27):
You want to be one of them? You want to
be one of them? Hi, guys, I'm Chuck. I'm Chuck
back you guys want to play No and Chuck? What
do you What do you want me to do with this?
PlayStation control of Chuck? What do you want me to
do with this? Throw it? Throw it at me, throw
(34:48):
it at you, throw it at me? Oh oh yeah?
Are you sitting at us? Yeah, I couldn't to help,
but over here that maybe there's some questioning going on
over there, over word, what if you got questions? Well,
(35:09):
there's a few of us that meet up late at night.
We've got some answers. Well let me, I'll tell you
right now what's going on. Zip over here is sick
of it all, and he doesn't want to run around
nicket anymore. He wants pants. I'll say it. He's not
the he's not the only one. Well you say, there's
a lot of us that felt that way. Huh. I'll
(35:29):
see you guys later. Yeah, did you get any did
you get any information from where? Hey? Who is that?
What did he say? I'm Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, do me
a favorite. Go with that guy and see if you
can't get his name or like where they're meeting up
or anything like that. Hi, Hi, Hi, Hey, Hey, Hey,
I'm Chuck. I'm Chuck. Okay, what's going on? You're whispering? Yeah? Okay,
(35:53):
you're a good boy, all right, Chuck is a good boy.
Chuck is a good boy. You got a Capris and
I you there, I got a Capri son I can't
get straw? Yeah, okay? And then for me. Okay, but
don't tell anybody. Okay, all right, there you are. I
worked construction. What did you do? Oh? Good, guess that's nice.
(36:17):
I'm a teacher. What was a teacher? Was a teacher
before our dog overlords took over and place? Yes, sir, yes, sir?
What did you say? Make the world a better place? Yeah?
You really believe that, Chuck? I get everything I want? Chuck,
you used to do construction, used to work? It meant something.
(36:41):
Now what do you do? I don't know. It was
hard work. We had to lift things and as fuck
you're fat as fucked. I am fat as fuck. It's
not good. Do you want more? My dog gives me
cake all the time. Mac alright, Caroline looking for the
(37:03):
mom of Chuck's mom. Yes, yeah, hi, I just finished
the examination on Chuck. Yes, not only is your human obese,
your human is f af Oh no that yeah, uh,
normally this would not be a problem. Humans are known
(37:24):
to be big, fat, wallowy basically. Yes, that's how we
like them. Yeah, but Chuck has an a orgic issue. Okay,
should we just put him down? Or yes? I don't
like this place? Can we go? Can we go? I
don't want to be here anymore? Can I watch you
put him down? Can we go? And of course not
only watch me. If you would like to handle the instruments,
(37:47):
you can do that. No, that's weird. Are we going
to the car? Were going to the car? I can
understand that we're Chucky Just a second. Alright, to everyone
who's new here, welcome, all right. This is a movement
and it takes all of us, and I want you
to know that there's a support system here for everybody.
We've all been traumatized by our dogs overlords, and uh,
(38:08):
this is our chance to reclaim. Yeah, what did he
hear that? What was that? What was that? It might
be a dog? It might be a dog. Did somebody
tell their they're overlords? We were coming here? Why would
we do that? Why would we do that? You did that?
Didn't you know? I didn't. I didn't. I'm pretty sure
(38:31):
that Chuck is able to communicate with his Uh, Chuck
is dead. Chuck's dead, sick. I know, I know, I
know Chuck is dead. But you don't think that they
tortured him. You don't think that maybe he spilled the beans,
which is why we're here meeting. We should change where
we're at. We should change everything up. I'm just saying
(38:55):
I've seen Chuck. What do you want to talking to is? What?
Where do you want to go? Well, I think we
should go underground. We should go to like the sewers.
I don't know. You don't think there. No, there's so
much smells down in the sewers. They never smell us there.
This isn't what's important. What's important is the day is
(39:16):
almost here. Oh I didn't think. Yes, the day is
almost here. Now, look we got thumbs, we got the advantage,
they got those little pause We have an opportunity and yes,
and now it's okay, yes, but guess what because what
they see they can't see. We got a question, sorry,
just a real quickly because I'm trying to follow the
(39:37):
banter is so good and so helpful, and really I
feel hope for the first time in a very very
long time. I just had a quick question. Is there
a reason you pronounced pause that way? We drew it
out a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's really sort of
like it was code for something or maybe an abbreviation
or I think I said normally, why are we getting
(39:58):
off topic? I don't understand. No, I think it's I
don't know if we're that far off topic here. He
really took the time and drew that out a lot.
We're supposed to read into it. We'll see it again
so we can hear it. Oh, oh, what look at
(40:19):
that's a dog and described it's six o'clock and it
is time for the Doggy Dog news. Agent Philbert has
done it again. He's broken up an entire human ring
(40:42):
trying to gain freedom. Here's a little report from Agent
Philbert from earlier in the hour we went in there, hot.
We knew what the assignment was, that we were going
to execute it exactly as we as we had to.
Some of the humans, um, you know, weren't able to survive,
so we were able to return them to their owners. Uh.
(41:04):
And one of them, uh, one of them, I'm gonna
be honest, just tick me off. There's one that just
ticked me off. And agent, do you think that you
have rectified the situation of these humans trying to take
over in the city. Well, that's funny you say rectify,
I think of rectum and uh, I think of an
(41:24):
end to it all, if you will, and yeah, the answers, yes,
thank you, Aged Philbin we'll have more at eleven o'clock. Wow,
that was him, and that's how I got stuck in here, Brian.
We gotta get this color off me. Okay, I can't
take any more of this rectum. I can't take any
(41:44):
more of this. Yeah, I understand. The next person that
comes in here just swap colors. Okay, all right, I'm
here and if I'm in for you, man, I'm in
for you. Hey. Listen, you didn't bring any food in,
did you? Food? Yeah, I mean I've got I mean
with their fetes garbage, of course it is. They don't
(42:04):
want us to get strong. They either want us to
be f a f or they want us to be
you know, well weak. That's where I got these glucosamine
pills that also have probiotics and okay, oh Jesus, yeah,
they're good for the joints. Yeah they are. They are
good for the joints. Well, they used to be back before. Alright,
(42:29):
and shape up. I'm gonna put another one of you
freaks inside the cage. Let you're ready, you're ready, ready
to do it? Yes, yes, sir, you're ready. Pieces ship
pizza ship pieces. Do you have any pizza? Shit, sir boom. Guys,
(42:55):
we're breaking out. We're breaking out in the We're saying
you says that's shotgun. You you all on to that,
that's a knife. Let's go. This is all the name
of the dear departed, Chuck. His name is Charles Paulson.
(43:19):
Stop right there, now, stop right there? Where do your
allegiances lie? Yeah? I guess you're all about to find
out you took one of my life shooting any more times?
(43:42):
I don't have enough bullets. You gotta say this. His
name is Paulson. Maybe we should listen to this cat.
All right, what do you gotta say that? Five more left?
I'll listen. I'll listen that dogs have man trow long
enough man, my cat buddy, and are going a fucking
(44:08):
talking cat? Hold ship? Who was giving this good information? Sun?
Oh my fucking god, I'm sorry. After that, I have one. Okay,
everybody'd be cool to this guy. I want to shoot
that cat. Me my cat'ing over and where independent you
(44:32):
live your lines? Man, we'll live. I don't know. I
don't know. Man A just barking at his Finally an
animal that we understood, fucking sucked up up. I feel
like it was a like a lazy fair approach. Ship,
(44:54):
Holy ship, I'm gonna turn myself in. I'm gonna tell
the dogs here, don't do it. We had a plan.
We're gonna meet and the abandoned Starbucks ship. And that's it.
That's the whole story of you and the gang trying
to break out. You have shot a cat, and you're
(45:17):
turning the rest of them in. Yes, yeah, And I
just want to be plugged back in, and I just
want to forget about the whole thing ever happened. You know,
I just like I know, when I eat a steak,
it's not really a steak, or want to drink wine,
it's not really one. I just want to talk about
maybe maybe I could be like a celebrity or something,
you know, I just want to forget the whole thing happened.
You're one of them good ones. Yes, yeah, thanks, you're welcome.
(45:44):
Are doing somebody? What are you doing? My welcome everybody,
those of us who made it here to this abandoned Starbucks.
This is amazing. Well, we got a lot of work
ahead of us. Yeah, a lot of us died today.
(46:05):
How many? How many we look, I don't know the number?
A head count about you did you did you die
today or are you in the numbers that that kind
of question is that? What have your owners been feeding you?
Any fish oil, anything good for the brain? That's the problem.
How many of us are left? Well, there's you two
(46:28):
and Sam's in the bathroom. Okay, it's four. Yeah, I'm
a numbers guy. Sorry. So are you with that group
out front? Yeah? You are? Uh what's up? Yeah? I
was thinking about maybe getting back into the dog world
and all that, but uh my owners passed and uh
(46:52):
well I found my way into the Starbucks. You're making
a little comfort quiet life. Okay, Well are you telling
me this? I don't and I don't talk to a
lot of people manages an abandoned Starbucks. Y'all just wandered
any or like pretty loudly and all that. I just
you know, sure, yeah, all right, well that's it. Uh hi,
(47:15):
excuse me? Uh? Can I get a chi latte? Yes?
What's you? Sorry? What's is? This? Is this open? And
look like there are people in here? But guys, let's
go yep, yep, let's go one chi please? You want
that dirty? Want that regular? Just regular? Just alright, no
coffee in it. I just want the t sure, sure,
(47:38):
and name please? Uh Craig, Craig, I'll spell that k
r e G. Okay, let's get one. We gotta pretend
like things are normal and maybe we'll look back to normal. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I don't know why this is working out, but it's
working right. Just keep going. Yeah, yeah, Uh, sir, do
(47:59):
you have a card or cash? Wait? Hold on, that's
not hold that's not Starbucks work. I'm gonna cash. Heer
you making a drink? The reality of god damn it.
You can just scan it on the app. Yeah, what's
going on there? I've been out of town for a while.
The town looks a little run down. Charlot on the counter,
lots are on the counter. Stop, stop, guys, stop, there's
(48:21):
no fucking chick here. It's a couple of water. Somebody's spinning.
We gotta we got a fresh one. Holy ship man,
how long did you say you were out of town?
I don't know, six months? Oh my god? Oh, welcome.
Probably the day before it all happened. Yeah, welcome to hell, buddy.
(48:44):
Why what what happened? Well, I'll tell you the worst
of it. You're not getting Starbucks. I don't think that's
the worst that really sucks. Was craving a how are
you gonna start your days? Guys together around the boardroom table.
I love this new star, but ad so fuh kings much.
(49:10):
I can't tell you what joy it brings to me. Great,
got me, he definitely got me. But there's no button.
Oh alright, alright, let's let's give me out some credit
(49:35):
where credit was due. Bobby thought of the overlord dogs
that um Steve thought we would use an abandoned Starbucks
because you know it's it's the third place, right, there's
homework in Starbucks that Now when we run this during network,
are we running the full twenty minute version or we
(49:56):
have to? We have to come on, it's worth the money.
I think I think we should. Let's hear it for
the cat. Yeah, thanks, guys. Uh, I don't know, I
don't know. I don't know where. I uh where I
came up with that idea of the cat because hate
to be the party pooper. But there was a little
(50:20):
it was a lot of nudity. Yeah, I thought we're
just gonna pixel out. No, no pixels. Let's show full
front to or we show at all, Like look, I'm sorry,
(50:41):
but it's coffee, not good for the body. Yes, then
then why not show the body? We hate dogs, Devil's
advocate a lot of floppy weener just just saying it
just floating. Of course it's gonna be floppy. What are
you talking about? I thought we could have some of
these hard Is that not possible? It's going to ask
(51:01):
the cat about a cat show, not a show. Oh my,
where does it come from? And where's it going? Let's
thank all the alchemists please, starting with Sir Gary Anthony Williams.
Thank you the fuck hey man, man, why can't people
(51:23):
come to my Instagram at Gary Anthony will They can't,
they can't. We can make that happen, all right, there
you go, folks. Craig Kakowski, thank you so damn much.
We're folks gonna find you now at Kakowski on Twitter,
the same place they've always found me. Well, let's not
put that pressure on Chris Alvarado. God, when fucking Gary
(51:49):
did that? I mean, come on, look, we all we've
all been in Rising for a very long time. I've
had a lot of fun. That was such uh great
move that, I mean, cuss, I'm cussing so much today.
I want to apologize for all my cussing. Okay, I'm
missing a good mood. Thank you, christ brod him that's
(52:10):
how he does it. James Ceney, well, yeah, I good
times today, guys. Uh thanks for having me and check
me out at the real James cene on Instagram. Sure will,
Joey Graherman, that's how you say it. And a couple
of things. I want to give out a special sneak
pee at my recipe. It's gonna it's a little bit
(52:32):
of pecans and that's all I'm gonna say for now.
But if you listen to every episode, I'm gonna give
you another ingredient to my special. I haven't been here
in a while. Was that the first ingredient? That was?
That was the first one? Okay, you got the first.
Send you the other ones if you miss them. Let's
thank your engineering person stars mean fine folks that I
(52:54):
art media. Thank you all very much. Please be kind
to each other. Tell everyone you've ever met about us.
I'm your host, Kevin Pollock reminding you
Welcome back to another episode of Welcome to This I'm
your host, Cacopologists. Well, if you want me to answer
the question, then I'm gonna need something from you. Something
I'd like to call four thousand dollars, but i'd aggress.
Let's meet to show no particular orders. Say hey to
Craig Kakowski. Kakow, what consistently misused word or phrase has
(00:26):
you at your breaking point these days? I think I
might have covered this already, but I'm I still hear
jibe and jive. Uh, people saying jive when they mean gibe.
So just hit that be a little harder, unless you're
talking about nonsense, which is jive. Okay. I don't think
(00:48):
you have covered that, and I appreciate you reaching into
the one things to mesh together. If you're talking about
j I B E. If you're talking about joking, that's
g I B E. If you're talking about nons in
so that's j I V Okay. Did everyone get that
things do not jive together? They jibe together, for goodness sake,
I've never heard that before. This is why Craig is here.
(01:11):
Don't hit the bees and hit the fucking b Please
say hello. To Chris Alvarado Primetime, Ready, what tough lesson
would you care to share from the summer? What did
you learn that's a tough lesson over the summer that
you'd like to pay forward? No? Why, No, Sometimes it's
(01:34):
a tough one. I'm just going to use this time
to tell a quick story that I was at the
dog park talking to a guy who said he knows
comedy and he frequents m Street Cafe. And then I said,
if you know, this is no joke, And I said,
do you know comedy? You know, I'm sure cafe? Do
you know Gary and Honey Williams? And he goes, he goes, yeah,
(01:57):
he goes there, he's he's a he's a comedy guy
like you, like you wouldn't know my name, but like
we know each other. And I was like, Okay, that's
a that's a true story. That's an actual true story
at the dog at the dog sounds legit. That's a
good story because it's truthful. That's what I like about.
So maybe the lasson I learned was, you know, you know,
even if you drop a SuperStar's name, it doesn't always
(02:22):
I don't know if I don't, I don't know, I
don't know. It doesn't have a great story. It is
still a great story. Were you planning on getting something
from the dog park? What do you mean like you
dropped you to drop us to lif like, oh, I
Madonna and me are good friends. And I say that
like an air Juan, and then they gave me like
a loaf of bread. There's usually a takeaway. Yeah, I
(02:45):
guess I was saying, oh, you know comedy and you
go to the Mtry Cafe? Okay, then then do you
know Gary Anthony Williams? And he was like, yeah, of course, yeah,
and he does. Yeah, do you know him? That guy
from the I go to the dog park? What the hell?
(03:05):
It's Gary Anthony Williams? Downtown Julie Brown lover. Are you
still in touch with Julie? Uh? Actually I am. I'm
not as in touch with her as I would like
to be. But Kevin, you know, I don't like to
call people racist, but I got a little fishbone to
(03:26):
pick with. Craig Kakowski in Spanish and Chris Alvabo will
let you know this. The B and the V sound
is actually a blended sound that's like one sound blended.
So you're really coming down, like if you hurt somebody
of Latino descent, saying jib or give you really need to? Like,
(03:47):
I don't want to cuss, but you need to. Of course,
for my Castilian friends, I will make that exception of that.
I thought that was understood. I was doing that diet tribe. Yes, then,
as the guy at the dog working coffee shop says,
my bad, always the Castilian exemption, okay. And now James Ceney,
(04:11):
Johnny Janet, Jim, how are you on ice skates? Honestly, yes,
I guess. I mean I can't do any tricks, but
I can I can keep on my feet. Uh it
always I get really um as are the idea that
these blades are actually not skating on ice, but it's
(04:32):
melted water. And I love the idea of the science
behind ice skating. Um. But yeah, I think I'm good
at ice skating better than roller blading. Oh. I always
love it when I asked the right person. And last,
but keep your condoms on. If you think of Leasa,
it's Joey Greer Ron calm killer. How do you spell relief?
(04:57):
I know you don't really want me to spell it.
You want me to give you what I do for
my own relief. But I will spell it because I
think a lot of people don't know how to spell it,
and I think it's important to educate. Um leaf not
a lot to look it up, uh I before you
(05:21):
except after see see. Let's suggestions are gathered from listen
to emails or from our patron v I ps to
be a patron support of the show and enjoy exclusive
content like oh I don't know, standalone bonus scenes, video
over a recording sessions, or at the highest level, the
(05:44):
I'll come in here act. You'll have a chance to
join one of these in fact recording sessions live in
the zoom with us. Just head on over to patron
dot com slash out than it is if you'd like
to see suggestion via email. Also, if you have the patron,
you can see the videos I said, and you can
see the antics of one Joey Greer And that is
what the rest of us are laughing at at these
weird times that don't seem to make sense unless in
(06:07):
fact you have the video. If you like some of
the scene suggestion without video, please write to the podcast
at our newish email address, Alcomy this s email at
gmail dot com that's talk to female seen one comes
Patron v I p Alcmaniam Nicholas Markaur who wrote you
all give a masterclass and switching from straight men to
(06:30):
maniac so well each episode, as all artists, you make
it seem so easy. Scene suggestion Mac the knife at
the dentist. You all know your Brett. I take it,
Craig won't let me down, truly yours, Nicholas, Dr Barnster.
Dr Barnster, sir, I'm sorry you're gonna have to fill
out the form as I said to you can't just
(06:51):
barge in on the doctor. May I just see Dr Barnster? Yes,
that's an eight by ten of him on the wall there.
Technically which one is it? Which one is it the
month the left or the ones? Yes, it's the one
to the left. Yes, May I take two hours just
to stand and stare at it? I mean, thank you
very well, thank you so much, thank you. Yes, next,
(07:14):
who's next? You are? Let's go with you the doctor?
I know what do you need? What can I get
you today? Sir? Right now, I'm ready, okay, Philip, Philip,
doctor the doctor will see you now, Mr Philip, Oh god, okay,
okay come on, and I'm so glad that guy is
(07:35):
out of this waiting room. Wow creep, Oh guy, I'm sorry,
did you say something? Oh yeah, I was just talking
aloud that I guess Philip is his name whatever, so weird.
I'm sorry. I was staring at the state by tin
of Dr Burns staring here. Oh the shark babe has
(07:56):
such teeth. Dear huh, you got a lot of teeth
in there, dear little record. Alright, so what are we
doing exactly? Oh? Oh, this is a choose your own event? Alright, alright,
(08:20):
it's like any opera here, but we've got going on,
like alright, alright, I'm pulling out. I'm pulling out. I
don't want unnecessary work. He just talking now, you can
just talk to me now, Okay, I don't need any
(08:41):
unnecessary work whatever you think's necessary. Like I don't want
I don't know what you mean, choose your own adventure.
Just I just want like a standard check up and
like if there's something we could schedule another time to
come in to fix it, like you know, well, then
let me let's get some X ories done. Jen Jenny Diver, Yes, yes,
(09:02):
can you take some X phrays please, of course, yes,
Mr Philip here, and I'm gonna go walk around the
waiting room just to see who's out there. Do you
want me to get that? I guess no, you do
the X rays? Okay, yes, open up, Mr Phillip dental
dental doctor. Hey can you hear me? It's my telephone working?
(09:24):
I'm sorry, Hello, it's my telephone. Can you hear this
is my telephone? Never mind, I'm the dental doctor. Can
you hear me though? Yes? Hi, hi doctor? Yeah? How
are you doing? This is just oh no, no, this
is mr this is this is Ladder London. Oh yes, yes,
(09:50):
I wanted to come in for for an appointment just
to look at your photograph eight by eight by ten
on the wall. Okay, okay, um when stood for you?
When it's good for the photograph? Well, miss Lenia, um
it's here all day um um. Now at two pm
(10:12):
I had to have a suky tadry Okay, the line
I can't remember. I would get in the wrong line.
Where does the line fall on the right? On the right?
I think I think I'll be there to the hour
you see? Great? Good? Good? Oh how's everyone doing in
(10:35):
the waiting room? Good? Good? Are you able to see. Uh,
Detective Murphy get in the office. What does it search,
Detective Murphy. Uh, you see this dentistist come back into town.
I got a quipped with you search. He's a dental doctor.
(10:58):
Is there a difference in those the the of Murphy.
It might be semantics, but he does insist on the difference. Look,
I wanted to talk to you about him and this
supposed crimes pre going on since he got back. But
what I'd rather do is just kind of break down
these words dentists and dental doctor and make sure that
we're chasing the right raccoon up the right tree. If
(11:19):
you understand why I meant your serge, well, a dentist,
I guess uh is mainly concerned for your teeth. Of
course that's a good concern to have. Okay, go ahead,
and he gets a DDS doctor of doctor Wait a minute,
doctor of dental services. Yeah, I mean I've heard of him.
(11:40):
Everyone around the ward has heard of the guy. Apparently
this psychopath is going in there doing surgeries on everyone's
individual teeth, like you know, taking out different lungs or
different ribs whatever from the tooth. I think it's all
fucking whack. Job. But he says he's a dental doctor,
so I guess that's how he gets it done, you
know what I mean? Can we get another knife over here?
This one? This one's out jock knife. Do you need
a jock Yeah, that'll do. I don't know where he lives,
(12:04):
all right, man, So if you want to know that information,
you're gonna have to talk to somebody else. You can
talk to Teresa over at the oils Center house. She
knows everything you need to know. I'm sorry I was
trying to get you a jack if I was keeping
it out of sight, But what was the last thing
you just said? I said, talked to Teresa. She's at
the oil Center house, the oil sent the house that
(12:26):
pertained to me. I was just curious as to what
you were saying. No, I know, I know, I don't
I don't mind, I don't mind. We were a pretty
type type ship. It's not a tight ship, but it's
a type ship. So al right, sir, uh the one
who said type ship. Yeah, I just I just wanted
to check here before you go into see the dentist.
(12:46):
I know that you're having a problem with certain sounds,
foul sounds, and yes, hey, are you raising your hand?
I think I thought, yes, oh good, No, I'm not
about to rob you, and I did not. I was
just saying, I am oh, yes, I understood that. But
when you put both hands up, I thought that you
thought I was about to rob you, and I assure
(13:07):
you I'm actually here to give you something. Oh great information. Uh.
The doctor is in town and he does want to
see you. But first he wants to take a look
at your u villa and see if that has anything
to do with your speech impediment that you've seen. Okay,
all right, Um, I have a penis instead of your ubila.
(13:30):
Then the doctor might like to see your penis. He
hasn't seen one of those in quite some bit. Uh.
Do you have a photo of it that I can
take into him by ten glossy instead? You know what, sir,
Instead of showing this to the doctor, I'm going to
hang it right here on the wall next to Dr
Burnster's head shot. I have I have an appointment. The
(13:52):
name is patient, John Patient. I'm sorry, Patient Patient John Patient.
My name is John Patient. I'm here to see the
dental doctor. Okay, the the dedis yes, by the way,
I am I am actually not his secretary. Let me
get his secret I mean, I mean secretary secretary. Fill
out this form. Please? Are you a new patient or existing?
(14:16):
I exist? Whatever? Just fill this out? Please? Thank you?
What insurance? Do you have a summing? You do? Yeah?
I've got cross. I was gonna say, signa Okay, Phil,
(14:36):
I don't know what to tell you. Can't take another
shick because your mouth all right, everybody seen I was
getting loaded up. That was bretty and I do love
me three penny offer. I'll tell you what oh baby
(14:57):
seem too, goes listener. Connor wrote, he alchemists from the
crime fighting cardinals of Vatican City to the thirty eight
year old school prom king. Your podcast has brought me
so much happiness. I'd be it, or it would be
an honor to hear you guys play out the following scene,
(15:18):
Titans of Slam Poetry collide. There's a Cobb salad waiting
here if you ever get to Canada, Signed Connor son Son.
You know I'm dying tonight. It's well documented. Of course.
What I need you to do anything when you go
(15:40):
to that slam poetry contest of yours, right, I need
you to take fuck me I'll never I'll never know
what he wanted me to do. It, all right, get
out of here. He's dead. Get on, move on some
forms or something for me to fill out as his net.
(16:03):
Get the funk out of I don't know why are
you doing this to me? Alright? Everybody, uh, as we
know the competition will begin at midnight. Now we are
doing street rules rules, man, Hey brother, Hey man, I'm
from I'm from a different city. I don't know if
your screet rules are the same thing as my screet rules.
(16:25):
My brother, I don't know the street rules either, So
if you could go back over them again, I'd like,
whoa buddy, he's up on the street talk. Okay, what
excuse me? Go ahead, explain us to rules. Please condolences
about your father. Alright, thanks very much my father. Let's
make that crystal fucking clear in case it wasn't, Thank you, sir. Sorry. Alright,
(16:49):
Street rules as follows, No guts, no glory, Yes, saying
that right out of the gates. So you know this
isn't This isn't Connecticut, this isn't the East Coast, the Midwest.
Street Rules, No guts, no glory and number two rhythm
Rhythm rhythm. So no, my street rules are no guts,
(17:10):
no glory is that's one thing that's not. No guts
number one, no glory number two. You know what. Jeez,
always I didn't. I didn't catch that. Yep, that's one.
No guts, no glory number two rhythm rhythm, rhythm, no gut,
no glorious compound. It's yeah. Uh. And third, this is
not an official street rule, but you don't have a
little fun. You know what I mean? Speak speak, speak
(17:32):
the way you need to speak. I intend to make
this my own. I ain't gonna lastly, I intend to
make it my own. Now, I want to use this
time to do a quick introduction of all of our
competitors this evening um place. Introduce yourselves introduced. Yeah, you
said you were going to introduce U. Okay, we'll do well,
do um. Well. You guys all know me. I'm Freddy Fabulous. Okay, Freddy,
(18:00):
I'll be uh, I'll be m seeing tonight. Now to
my left over here, this gentleman, the one who was
excited to learn about street rules stuff there the same
as history rules. You might not you might not know him,
but he's he's building a name in this community. His
name is Sea Lion, Sally, It's Klein. It's Klein Sally.
(18:22):
What oh clin cliss Sally? Oh co Coco clan Klein Sally. Okay,
what did you say? It was Sea Lion man? Call
you selin. My first name is Klein. Well is there
a dash between the sea and line? Yeah, that's that's right.
(18:48):
All right, But I mean these introductions are gonna take
all night. Let's just keep going here. We got we got,
we got jenk we got uh stealing? What the hell
is going on? He? Why did he get like this?
If you don't your memory, Marvin MQ fabulous, I don't
(19:15):
know what happened out there, but I don't know if
you're gonna be able to host next year. Wait, wasn't
that bad? It was really it was uncomfortable. Wait okay,
but like it was a lot of information. I had
to go over the street rules. Did you let me
say that? Yeah? And a lot of them weren't even
the rules that we agreed on. They were one of
you just made up in the moment. I mean, you
(19:35):
don't even talk about the prize. I mean we talked
about that the loser gets cut. Let me in, let
me in. It's Marvin mque two parts question in five parts.
You let me in, man, wait bringing the flames already?
How can we help you? Marvin? Yo? Look, I ain't
gonna lie to you. Man. I'm known off from coast
to coast for doing poetry that is the most. But
(19:56):
that young brother out there who's daddy died tonight, Man,
I'm gonna tell you right now, just a safe face
for myself, I'm gonna throw my poetry game so he
can win for his daddy. His dad's already dead. It
doesn't matter, no man. For what I understand, the right
kind of poetry and prayers can bring the dead man back.
But listen, Mary, Hey, that may be true, Marvin, but
(20:17):
I didn't go over the what was it like the winnings? Like,
Here's what I'm trying to say. If you lose this
to come on, you're gonna get cut. I mean, are
you willing to do that for him? For his daddy? Look,
my daddy died before I was born. Okay, my mother
(20:37):
died three weeks before I came on to this earth.
What I was born in offense? At birth? I never
knew my dad and never knew my mom. Instead, of
sucking on suckers. I sucked on my thumb. I didn't
have a bad Sorry, this is great. I can't believe
(21:02):
that motherfucker just walked into the office and just rat
it off his act and won the whole fucking thing.
We don't even get a chance. My dad's gonna just
sit there in a grave. And what am I gonna do?
You know what's even craziest fuck, He's posted exactly what
you have, Marfa MQ. Look, I know Marfa MQ. I
(21:25):
was a little kid the n C I S fan. Yeah, No,
he's the ship, He's the total ship. The guy. Just
we should go tell Marfa MQ. Somebody's pretended to beat him.
I don't think he. I think he just co opted
his name. I think he just threw it out there
like he could use any fucking name he wanted. Alright,
So I guess I'm just gonna like not do this
job anymore then, all right, all right, so hold on,
(21:47):
who's gonna help me move this paper around? Well? I mean, well,
I'm quitting the paper job, but I'm also quitting my
MC and job. Oh you're an m C. That's the thing.
You wouldn't think so nobody knows. I have so stage
fright and social anxiety. I get nervous and situations. And yeah,
I still said I could do what I could do it,
you know, but I can't move this paper either. Well
(22:08):
hold on, I mean, can you just give me two weeks?
Two weeks, two weeks? This guy Februne, I need to
replace the position I can't. Just would you call me fibrun?
I prefer to be called fabulous fabulous? Okay, Well, you
(22:33):
pick up the phone man, pick up the phone what England?
Pick up the phone man? Come on, hello, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jeremy, Jeremy, yo, Yo,
this is Franklin. I did that ship man. I pretended
I was marveling with you. I wanted this motherfucker man,
Jesus Christ, are you serious? Yeah, man, oh my god,
that's sick. You just told me four dollars because you
said that I couldn't treat people and think I was
(22:53):
morvling with you. Quite quite damn, And I can't. I
can't talk about money right now. Look, yeah, yeah, yeah,
let's work with somebody in the room with you. If
they are not, I'll hear the wind. Yeah, somebody in
the room with you. Okay, we won't call money. Okay,
go ahead. No talking on the phone at the table, Okay,
(23:17):
a family. I know, I'm just on you haven't dinner, man,
I'm on such a high from pretending that I'm marking
with you that I have not eaten in three days.
Just laid a phone down by your food so I
can hear you too, Man, what do you want to eat?
I got the rules, the dinner rules. That the dinner rules.
Flee what I want to tell you? What doing your favor?
(23:40):
Eat your food at alphabetical order? Man, That ship always
gets me green bean. What do you mean that I've
won a regional poetry slam competition. I've got to go
to nationals now, it's the rules. Um, I don't remember
doing that at all. Well, it's your name and it's
(24:00):
your prize. Listen, you're one of the greats obviously. I mean,
you don't even remember winning, and then you want thank you.
I'm fabulous? Am I saying it right? Okay? I'm falling
off a little bit, Mr MQ. I lost my confidence.
Can't even introduce people. How do you do it? Well?
(24:25):
I don't think about it very much. I don't remember
very much all the great say that I just kind
of go with the flow. I guess you get in
flow mind a little bit. What the hell? Just dirty
your room? How? How are you hi? I scheduled the
visit in my room. We're gonna talk about that later, Marvin. Okay, great?
(24:50):
Are you here? As you visiting Marvin? Are you visiting
someone another family member? Yeah, let's just visiting Marvin. I'm
actually on my way out. Did you know he wanted
you want to slam poetry contest? I want a regional
slam going to nationals Now you went outside the property?
I guess I did. Okay, Hey, I don't know if
you're interested in slim poetry, but here's the ticket if
you want to come see Marvin. Uh fight for the
(25:12):
title the town? Huh? Well, you gotta poetry fight all
the greats, all the other regional greats. Now, this is
the Titans of Slim Poetry. This is what this this
evening is called. I won't be hosting because obviously you
can tell them about a public speaking, but everything that
you have said, oh you're too much, you can't be
(25:33):
that bad. Look, I'm not doing it unless you come
with me. What you're gonna be my hype man, Are
you gonna sign him out? Is that you gotta sign
me out? Other way? They keep me here on the
lock and key, y'all sign him out? Hey, will you?
Will you come with us me? Yeah? I haven't left
(25:58):
these halls and in five years. I don't know if
that's true. But you know, these these competitions, sure they
get bloody, but they also get very inspiring. And you say,
nationals are in Omaha this year for instance, you know what,
check this out. Here's one of the Here was one
(26:19):
of the winning lines from last year's Titans. This line
poetry contests a line You're just gonna give us one line? Yeah? Yeah,
like a sea line? Yeah yeah, I guess sea line ready,
because if I ever came quickly, I wouldn't even be
there now something before that rhyme with it. It was incredible,
(26:41):
But that was the that that line ended the whole thing.
How do you feel I feel context? Yeah, I don't
really under a well, just you gotta come. Well wait
what before you go? Hey, welcome, welcome, Oma. This is
the state line before you cross over. We just wanna
(27:02):
everyone here is so welcoming. We just want to just
personally thank you all for coming here, all right, and
and giving your business and and all that. So so um,
just just thank thank you so much for coming in.
Um and is this the only way to get into okay? Cool?
Uh yeah yeah so um um if you uh you
(27:29):
know now now it's cool? Cool you need I d
how this work? No, no, don't so we want to go.
I'm good to go, of course. Yeah. Just come on in.
I just you know, I want to say hi right on.
Hey man, I love you. I love you man. If
you need any love you too. If you need anything. Um,
Loven mcku is in town. Just ask for me, all right,
(27:51):
you're murdered m yeah stuff yeah yeah yeah, get in here,
get in here, come on there. Feel oh it feels
different in Omaha. Okay, thank you brother. Got air conditioning,
yeah all right, air conditioning outside. This is beautiful. I
love it. Thank you. Alright, Titans, gather around, gather around now.
(28:12):
I will not be am seeing. I'm actually here on
behalf of Marvin mqugh. I will be hype manning this year.
But the staff has asked me to pass long a
couple of things. One we're doing, um concrete rules, So
get the talk. What's happening. And what you said, you
here on behalf of me. I think he means he's
(28:35):
here on behalf of me. Ship he said he's the
on behalf of Marvin McK. He did say on behalf
of Marvin mcky're going at it finally, because I'm Marvin
mckugh and you're Marvin mctoo Ohn McK and I'm Marvin
(28:55):
mick two, I will say, to hell with all of you,
it's begun. Oh I've defeated. I've defeated. No, wait, no,
I can't beat. I can't top that. I came in
hot and then he came in hotter, and I'm done.
You're the whoever you are. You're Marvin muit Wait wait, wait,
(29:17):
wait a minute, Hell yeah, you're the real Marvel mque
makes some noise famibulous. I'm just saying, when you start
your sentences off life, you can't. I came in hot,
you came in hotter. It's those kind of things that
helped me be who I am today. You are the
(29:37):
in gender of greatness. Guys, I'm a sham. My name
is Zad Truth. That didn't rhyme at all. No, I
can't rhyme unless I'm pretending that I'm Marvin mque Well,
we're still have two other competitors, so really beautiful speech
(29:58):
and youtuo, that was a good round. Did you want
to go as the mayor of Oklahoma? I just want
to say, this whole experience we're in the wrong sting
has been so refreshing and who let him in here?
So wild that I just want to give the key
of the city to Zed. Uh it's dead, Z's dead.
(30:22):
That scene too, Oh, man, Kevin, I know what that's from. Yeah,
thank you, and that was for you, my friend raised
in Oklahoma. Uh. Scene three comes from patron VP Jessica Green,
who wrote, Hello, you guys are all amazing. I love
(30:44):
the original improvisers and all the guests appearances suggestion dogs
run the world, humans are the pets. That's just perfect.
I hope you're all doing well mentally in staying safe eyasically.
Jess Hey, where'd you get that sweet looking color? Man?
(31:08):
I've been wearing it for a while. I just I
just recently got it washed, so it looks a little
a little bit nicer. It's got look, it's got my
name on it looks fresh as the house. How long
is your owner on vacation, and it's just, you know what,
the swapped things up. What do you mean? Uh, well,
we swept things up. I uh, I don't stay with
(31:29):
my owner anymore. What do you do? Just hang out
here at the kennel. I'm ferrel get out here. They
pulled me in here. Yeah, I know they're probably gonna
put me down. Oh God, bust you out. Maybe maybe
you can put a good word in for your owner.
Maybe you can, uh, maybe I can come home with you. Guys,
my owners are rot wilder. Man. There's no talking amount
(31:51):
of anything, but let's bust you out of here. Do
you think so? Yeah? D you get a couple of
fellas together. It comes to guard this bullshit every day.
He's looking right at you, sniffing your asshole. This is
(32:17):
he just gotta stand. There was once swap once swap collars. No,
I don't think so he's sniffing your asshole. I'm good.
That's unnecessary, okay, man? No, No, we maybe maybe, uh
you know what, next next person comes in here, let's
(32:39):
and don't tell him what I said. Let's swap collars.
It looks like he just put the tip in. Are
you all right? It was pretty bad. It was. It
was pretty bad. Actually it was worse than it looks
It looked pretty. It was his whole snow. Okay, it
was this whole snow. Wow. All right, but you're gonna
be okay, you can shake it off. I'm not gonna
(32:59):
be okay. Hey, I gotta get somebody swap collars because
you're gonna put me down. You're gonna you're gonna put
me down, right, you got it? I think help me.
I don't care how many times they bring me to
the park. I'm not gonna be running around. You know
what I'm saying? What do you have against little excising?
I have nothing against it, just like I don't want
(33:20):
to do it. That means you kind of have something
against it, right, if you don't want to do it
like that? Yeah, if I have something against it, it it
doesn't mean like I don't know, you can't do it.
You know what I'm saying, right, I don't want to
psychologically talk with you here. I just want to find
out what's up, what's going on? You're asking me what's
going on my mind? That's definitely a psychological talk. Hey,
(33:41):
I'm chuck. I'm chuck. Hi, guys, I'm Chuck. Chuck there. Okay, Well,
if you're looking for this, and if you're looking for
Zip to run around with you, that's not happening. Can
stop doing them and let them run around if he
wants to. Okay, dude, get the funk away from you.
I'll knock you the funk out if you come here
me all right, sip seriously, Lett, give a ship, dude,
(34:04):
I want the psychopath near me. We've known each other
for a year and or seven. What the hell is
going on? I just don't give me. I don't want
to do this, man, I don't want to do E
to E snopped. That's not What do you want? What
do you want? I don't know. I don't want to
I don't want to be fucking naked all the time.
(34:27):
You want to be one of them? You want to
be one of them? Hi, guys, I'm Chuck. I'm Chuck
back you guys want to play No and Chuck? What
do you What do you want me to do with this?
PlayStation control of Chuck? What do you want me to
do with this? Throw it? Throw it at me, throw
(34:48):
it at you, throw it at me? Oh oh yeah?
Are you sitting at us? Yeah, I couldn't to help,
but over here that maybe there's some questioning going on
over there, over word, what if you got questions? Well,
(35:09):
there's a few of us that meet up late at night.
We've got some answers. Well let me, I'll tell you
right now what's going on. Zip over here is sick
of it all, and he doesn't want to run around
nicket anymore. He wants pants. I'll say it. He's not
the he's not the only one. Well you say, there's
a lot of us that felt that way. Huh. I'll
(35:29):
see you guys later. Yeah, did you get any did
you get any information from where? Hey? Who is that?
What did he say? I'm Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, do me
a favorite. Go with that guy and see if you
can't get his name or like where they're meeting up
or anything like that. Hi, Hi, Hi, Hey, Hey, Hey,
I'm Chuck. I'm Chuck. Okay, what's going on? You're whispering? Yeah? Okay,
(35:53):
you're a good boy, all right, Chuck is a good boy.
Chuck is a good boy. You got a Capris and
I you there, I got a Capri son I can't
get straw? Yeah, okay? And then for me. Okay, but
don't tell anybody. Okay, all right, there you are. I
worked construction. What did you do? Oh? Good, guess that's nice.
(36:17):
I'm a teacher. What was a teacher? Was a teacher
before our dog overlords took over and place? Yes, sir, yes, sir?
What did you say? Make the world a better place? Yeah?
You really believe that, Chuck? I get everything I want? Chuck,
you used to do construction, used to work? It meant something.
(36:41):
Now what do you do? I don't know. It was
hard work. We had to lift things and as fuck
you're fat as fucked. I am fat as fuck. It's
not good. Do you want more? My dog gives me
cake all the time. Mac alright, Caroline looking for the
(37:03):
mom of Chuck's mom. Yes, yeah, hi, I just finished
the examination on Chuck. Yes, not only is your human obese,
your human is f af Oh no that yeah, uh,
normally this would not be a problem. Humans are known
(37:24):
to be big, fat, wallowy basically. Yes, that's how we
like them. Yeah, but Chuck has an a orgic issue. Okay,
should we just put him down? Or yes? I don't
like this place? Can we go? Can we go? I
don't want to be here anymore? Can I watch you
put him down? Can we go? And of course not
only watch me. If you would like to handle the instruments,
(37:47):
you can do that. No, that's weird. Are we going
to the car? Were going to the car? I can
understand that we're Chucky Just a second. Alright, to everyone
who's new here, welcome, all right. This is a movement
and it takes all of us, and I want you
to know that there's a support system here for everybody.
We've all been traumatized by our dogs overlords, and uh,
(38:08):
this is our chance to reclaim. Yeah, what did he
hear that? What was that? What was that? It might
be a dog? It might be a dog. Did somebody
tell their they're overlords? We were coming here? Why would
we do that? Why would we do that? You did that?
Didn't you know? I didn't. I didn't. I'm pretty sure
(38:31):
that Chuck is able to communicate with his Uh, Chuck
is dead. Chuck's dead, sick. I know, I know, I
know Chuck is dead. But you don't think that they
tortured him. You don't think that maybe he spilled the beans,
which is why we're here meeting. We should change where
we're at. We should change everything up. I'm just saying
(38:55):
I've seen Chuck. What do you want to talking to is? What?
Where do you want to go? Well, I think we
should go underground. We should go to like the sewers.
I don't know. You don't think there. No, there's so
much smells down in the sewers. They never smell us there.
This isn't what's important. What's important is the day is
(39:16):
almost here. Oh I didn't think. Yes, the day is
almost here. Now, look we got thumbs, we got the advantage,
they got those little pause We have an opportunity and yes,
and now it's okay, yes, but guess what because what
they see they can't see. We got a question, sorry,
just a real quickly because I'm trying to follow the
(39:37):
banter is so good and so helpful, and really I
feel hope for the first time in a very very
long time. I just had a quick question. Is there
a reason you pronounced pause that way? We drew it
out a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's really sort of
like it was code for something or maybe an abbreviation
or I think I said normally, why are we getting
(39:58):
off topic? I don't understand. No, I think it's I
don't know if we're that far off topic here. He
really took the time and drew that out a lot.
We're supposed to read into it. We'll see it again
so we can hear it. Oh, oh, what look at
(40:19):
that's a dog and described it's six o'clock and it
is time for the Doggy Dog news. Agent Philbert has
done it again. He's broken up an entire human ring
(40:42):
trying to gain freedom. Here's a little report from Agent
Philbert from earlier in the hour we went in there, hot.
We knew what the assignment was, that we were going
to execute it exactly as we as we had to.
Some of the humans, um, you know, weren't able to survive,
so we were able to return them to their owners. Uh.
(41:04):
And one of them, uh, one of them, I'm gonna
be honest, just tick me off. There's one that just
ticked me off. And agent, do you think that you
have rectified the situation of these humans trying to take
over in the city. Well, that's funny you say rectify,
I think of rectum and uh, I think of an
(41:24):
end to it all, if you will, and yeah, the answers, yes,
thank you, Aged Philbin we'll have more at eleven o'clock. Wow,
that was him, and that's how I got stuck in here, Brian.
We gotta get this color off me. Okay, I can't
take any more of this rectum. I can't take any
(41:44):
more of this. Yeah, I understand. The next person that
comes in here just swap colors. Okay, all right, I'm
here and if I'm in for you, man, I'm in
for you. Hey. Listen, you didn't bring any food in,
did you? Food? Yeah, I mean I've got I mean
with their fetes garbage, of course it is. They don't
(42:04):
want us to get strong. They either want us to
be f a f or they want us to be
you know, well weak. That's where I got these glucosamine
pills that also have probiotics and okay, oh Jesus, yeah,
they're good for the joints. Yeah they are. They are
good for the joints. Well, they used to be back before. Alright,
(42:29):
and shape up. I'm gonna put another one of you
freaks inside the cage. Let you're ready, you're ready, ready
to do it? Yes, yes, sir, you're ready. Pieces ship
pizza ship pieces. Do you have any pizza? Shit, sir boom. Guys,
(42:55):
we're breaking out. We're breaking out in the We're saying
you says that's shotgun. You you all on to that,
that's a knife. Let's go. This is all the name
of the dear departed, Chuck. His name is Charles Paulson.
(43:19):
Stop right there, now, stop right there? Where do your
allegiances lie? Yeah? I guess you're all about to find
out you took one of my life shooting any more times?
(43:42):
I don't have enough bullets. You gotta say this. His
name is Paulson. Maybe we should listen to this cat.
All right, what do you gotta say that? Five more left?
I'll listen. I'll listen that dogs have man trow long
enough man, my cat buddy, and are going a fucking
(44:08):
talking cat? Hold ship? Who was giving this good information? Sun?
Oh my fucking god, I'm sorry. After that, I have one. Okay,
everybody'd be cool to this guy. I want to shoot
that cat. Me my cat'ing over and where independent you
(44:32):
live your lines? Man, we'll live. I don't know. I
don't know. Man A just barking at his Finally an
animal that we understood, fucking sucked up up. I feel
like it was a like a lazy fair approach. Ship,
(44:54):
Holy ship, I'm gonna turn myself in. I'm gonna tell
the dogs here, don't do it. We had a plan.
We're gonna meet and the abandoned Starbucks ship. And that's it.
That's the whole story of you and the gang trying
to break out. You have shot a cat, and you're
(45:17):
turning the rest of them in. Yes, yeah, And I
just want to be plugged back in, and I just
want to forget about the whole thing ever happened. You know,
I just like I know, when I eat a steak,
it's not really a steak, or want to drink wine,
it's not really one. I just want to talk about
maybe maybe I could be like a celebrity or something,
you know, I just want to forget the whole thing happened.
You're one of them good ones. Yes, yeah, thanks, you're welcome.
(45:44):
Are doing somebody? What are you doing? My welcome everybody,
those of us who made it here to this abandoned Starbucks.
This is amazing. Well, we got a lot of work
ahead of us. Yeah, a lot of us died today.
(46:05):
How many? How many we look, I don't know the number?
A head count about you did you did you die
today or are you in the numbers that that kind
of question is that? What have your owners been feeding you?
Any fish oil, anything good for the brain? That's the problem.
How many of us are left? Well, there's you two
(46:28):
and Sam's in the bathroom. Okay, it's four. Yeah, I'm
a numbers guy. Sorry. So are you with that group
out front? Yeah? You are? Uh what's up? Yeah? I
was thinking about maybe getting back into the dog world
and all that, but uh my owners passed and uh
(46:52):
well I found my way into the Starbucks. You're making
a little comfort quiet life. Okay, Well are you telling
me this? I don't and I don't talk to a
lot of people manages an abandoned Starbucks. Y'all just wandered
any or like pretty loudly and all that. I just
you know, sure, yeah, all right, well that's it. Uh hi,
(47:15):
excuse me? Uh? Can I get a chi latte? Yes?
What's you? Sorry? What's is? This? Is this open? And
look like there are people in here? But guys, let's
go yep, yep, let's go one chi please? You want
that dirty? Want that regular? Just regular? Just alright, no
coffee in it. I just want the t sure, sure,
(47:38):
and name please? Uh Craig, Craig, I'll spell that k
r e G. Okay, let's get one. We gotta pretend
like things are normal and maybe we'll look back to normal. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I don't know why this is working out, but it's
working right. Just keep going. Yeah, yeah, Uh, sir, do
(47:59):
you have a card or cash? Wait? Hold on, that's
not hold that's not Starbucks work. I'm gonna cash. Heer
you making a drink? The reality of god damn it.
You can just scan it on the app. Yeah, what's
going on there? I've been out of town for a while.
The town looks a little run down. Charlot on the counter,
lots are on the counter. Stop, stop, guys, stop, there's
(48:21):
no fucking chick here. It's a couple of water. Somebody's spinning.
We gotta we got a fresh one. Holy ship man,
how long did you say you were out of town?
I don't know, six months? Oh my god? Oh, welcome.
Probably the day before it all happened. Yeah, welcome to hell, buddy.
(48:44):
Why what what happened? Well, I'll tell you the worst
of it. You're not getting Starbucks. I don't think that's
the worst that really sucks. Was craving a how are
you gonna start your days? Guys together around the boardroom table.
I love this new star, but ad so fuh kings much.
(49:10):
I can't tell you what joy it brings to me. Great,
got me, he definitely got me. But there's no button.
Oh alright, alright, let's let's give me out some credit
(49:35):
where credit was due. Bobby thought of the overlord dogs
that um Steve thought we would use an abandoned Starbucks
because you know it's it's the third place, right, there's
homework in Starbucks that Now when we run this during network,
are we running the full twenty minute version or we
(49:56):
have to? We have to come on, it's worth the money.
I think I think we should. Let's hear it for
the cat. Yeah, thanks, guys. Uh, I don't know, I
don't know. I don't know where. I uh where I
came up with that idea of the cat because hate
to be the party pooper. But there was a little
(50:20):
it was a lot of nudity. Yeah, I thought we're
just gonna pixel out. No, no pixels. Let's show full
front to or we show at all, Like look, I'm sorry,
(50:41):
but it's coffee, not good for the body. Yes, then
then why not show the body? We hate dogs, Devil's
advocate a lot of floppy weener just just saying it
just floating. Of course it's gonna be floppy. What are
you talking about? I thought we could have some of
these hard Is that not possible? It's going to ask
(51:01):
the cat about a cat show, not a show. Oh my,
where does it come from? And where's it going? Let's
thank all the alchemists please, starting with Sir Gary Anthony Williams.
Thank you the fuck hey man, man, why can't people
(51:23):
come to my Instagram at Gary Anthony will They can't,
they can't. We can make that happen, all right, there
you go, folks. Craig Kakowski, thank you so damn much.
We're folks gonna find you now at Kakowski on Twitter,
the same place they've always found me. Well, let's not
put that pressure on Chris Alvarado. God, when fucking Gary
(51:49):
did that? I mean, come on, look, we all we've
all been in Rising for a very long time. I've
had a lot of fun. That was such uh great
move that, I mean, cuss, I'm cussing so much today.
I want to apologize for all my cussing. Okay, I'm
missing a good mood. Thank you, christ brod him that's
(52:10):
how he does it. James Ceney, well, yeah, I good
times today, guys. Uh thanks for having me and check
me out at the real James cene on Instagram. Sure will,
Joey Graherman, that's how you say it. And a couple
of things. I want to give out a special sneak
pee at my recipe. It's gonna it's a little bit
(52:32):
of pecans and that's all I'm gonna say for now.
But if you listen to every episode, I'm gonna give
you another ingredient to my special. I haven't been here
in a while. Was that the first ingredient? That was?
That was the first one? Okay, you got the first.
Send you the other ones if you miss them. Let's
thank your engineering person stars mean fine folks that I
(52:54):
art media. Thank you all very much. Please be kind
to each other. Tell everyone you've ever met about us.
I'm your host, Kevin Pollock reminding you
Alchemy This News
Host
Kevin Pollak
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