January 14, 2021 • 51 mins
A man by the name of Fuck Joey is accused of twisting dogs around the LA area.
Mail-in contest to win a small island country.
Nature documentary: mating habits of the elusive bridge troll.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. It is COVID
nine edition, and I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. Yes that
Kevin Pollo. What's that? Well? If I have to choose
fuck Chris, Mary, James, kill Joe. Oh and even though
you're not asking, definitely cheat on James with Craig. But
I digress. Let's meet our chemist, shall we no particular order?
(00:25):
Please say good day to Vanessa Raglan Veniche, Good day,
good day. Please share with us an utterly selfish wish
for twenty one, A selfish one. Yeah, utterly selfish, utterly
that I would come into an airstream trailer. It would
(00:48):
just I would just come into it with no work
and I would not deserve it, and I would get
to have it and it would be nice. Drop an
air stream trailer dropped off at your play Yeah for me.
Sure no strings attached this time? And you would nickname
it safe Place. Yeah? Nice? What the hell is Christoparado
(01:13):
not your daddy's long legs? If I could grant you
one wish for the new year, and that wish is
to teach you how to master one thing, what would
it be? Something to do with, you know, mastering my
mm hmm. Like my just say like something like you know,
like internal, like how do I master my doubt? How
(01:35):
do I? How do I? How do I? How do I?
How do I? How do I conquer? Feed out of?
Get out of your own way? Yeah? Get out of
my own way? Yes, that's probably for me. Hold on
a second, everybody, Hello, Hello, and also surfing. Yes, once again,
Please welcome Gary Anthony Will. Yeah, I'm feeling good, literally
(01:57):
from my head to my shoes. Nice truth or gear?
New Year's Eve plans just say truth or gear. I did.
That's the name of my new TV show, Welcome. I
plan on because my girlfriend likes to go to sleep early.
I plan on waking her up loudly at New year
(02:19):
She's gonna be pissed. I can guarantee you I'll never
get to touch her again, but it will be yep,
and good luck with that. Please report you. Hey, it's
Craig Gatkowski, Coco. Have you ever tried to wallpaper a room? Please?
No painting is bad enough. I can't imagine what it's
like the wallpaper. Yeah, I do want to use that
(02:41):
one thing that flattens it out, But the rest of
it you can have the final step is the best. Yeah,
but all the work that leads up to it, no,
thank you forget about it. And last but hand me
down under rug for you. If you think I leaves,
it's Joey Greer time suck. What happens next? I mean
that all depends on what's as you make right now,
because the divergence of that choice is going to determine
(03:04):
where you end up. But I can tell you this,
out of every choice that one might make, I guarantee
it will be the one that you don't want to.
So second, guess the choice that you're gonna make right
now because you really want to make the choice you
do want to, because again, that's going to determine where
you end up. How we end up there, Obviously, it's
not just based on what choice we made. How did
we make it? And I'm not just saying what did
(03:25):
I use my feet? That I use my hands or
you know what I mean, my eyes? I'm saying like,
how did you make that? Right? Like in your brain?
What can I use my hand? Exactly? And that's another
thing I want to get to. Okay, well, did you
hear the uncertainty in that? Do you hear the shakiness
that was in there. We we want to strengthen that.
(03:45):
We want to put some some iron beams right in there. Jam.
I'm in there as hard as we can, because we
want to make sure that that the choice is strong. Right.
The idea of the thought that we're making is not
something that's preconceived or put into our minds by ounce force.
Rather say putting, putting to our minds. Did you hear how? Yes?
Did you hear the yssa? Did you see that? Because
(04:07):
he said putting and putting joy quickly behind you. All
of our scene suggestions are gathered from listener emails or
from our patron v I ps become a patron sup
part of the show and enjoy plus of content like well,
I don't know video of what's happening right now in
Joey's mind. Just head on over the patron dot com
slash alchemy this if you like to submit a scene
suggestion by email email, I say, please write your podcast
(04:28):
at your name here at alchemy dot com. That's your
name here. Seen one comes from patron Alchemaniac Dougie, who wrote, Hey, Alchemist,
I promised to stop spreading rumors about Joey if he
brought back Instagram Live content. Since he did, I've hardly
said anything bad about him. Here's my scene suggestion. A
(04:51):
man by the name of fun Joey is accused of
twisting dogs around the Greater l A Area. What the fuck?
This is based on true events hashtag fun Joey signed Dougie. No,
I mean I was just the other day. We were
over there and you know the huh, you're gonna eat
(05:13):
that donut. Yes, I'm gonna eat that donut. I don't
eat as fast as you. Okay, it's yeah, I'm gonna
get to the donut. I want to eat the donut.
And you were saying I'm saying, now, you gotta be
in my head about the donut thing. Man, I don't
even want to talk about what you want. Don't Yes,
I do want the doughnut loop every time we eat. Yeah,
(05:35):
that's right, donuts gotta go. Baby. Are you listening to me? Man?
Like I feel like your mind Hold on a second. Yeah,
we got a four seven nine the first street and
man to have on that twisted dog over That's right, Bye,
bye bye, I love you. How long have you had
(05:56):
that cop radio? To be honest? Four weeks for a week.
Gotta for Christmas? What is your problem? Look my promise.
Every time we eat, you gotta come here and you
gotta point out what I mean you want to eat it,
just just get extra donuts if you want more donuts.
You guys listening to a cop radio? Yeah we are.
What's up? I'm I work on the force. I'm off
(06:17):
duty right now. Did you want to borrow the radio? No,
I'm good. Don't let me know. Let me do anybody
look that donuts mine? Okay, don't even try it. I
don't want your donut. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I have
a little loss. Where where it? Could anyone help me?
Where am i? You're at the corner of First in Maine.
The corner of First and Maine. Yeah, and that's very close.
(06:42):
She's all, she's all twisted around. Where are you? Where
are you trying to go? I was trying. I was
going in the direction of a dog's shrink. Uh huh.
And I was walking towards the shrink. And I don't
I I'm I'm all. I'm confused, and the shrieking is out.
I just give it. I'm off duty right now. Man discombobulated.
(07:03):
It happens a lot. Well, listen, you're in Larry's House
of donuts. Can I buy you donut? Officers? This is
probably the worst case of dog twisting that I've ever seen.
God damn it. It looks like some of the fur
has been rubbed off, exposing the skin. There's just a note.
(07:26):
Write that down. I'll write that down for us. Somebody,
please go ahead, please? Is it too early to assume
we know who did this? You know what they say
about assuming you're making a suit of me? Exactly? Yeah, down?
Or of course, the Sioux Indians were some of the
most famous dog twisters ever. Make a suit out of me?
(07:49):
Go head and write it down. Sergeant. Absolutely, I'm gonna
write in cursive. I'm just gonna say. I'm just gonna
say it. This looks like fun Joey ship. It's that's
for sure. You said duty. But I just I knew
you guys were taking a meeting and I don't want
(08:11):
to miss that or anything. Excuse thank you for your service.
Thank you for your service. Officers. Can I get any
of you a donut? This fucking guy over here, what
do you what do you assume? Because we're cops, you
like donuts. Is that what happens when you assume I'm
making out of him the most assumptive Native American tribe ever?
(08:36):
Do they like donuts? Where are we right now? The
corner first? Okay, great, just wanted to clarify. But also
inside Larry's house, and it looks like we're gonna have
to be closing up shop. People are buying puppies right now.
It looks like there's a puppy twister out in the streets. Shop. Father,
(08:58):
We've had this shop for long as I can remember.
You're drooling, Donny, listen, all right, Look, we're gonna have
to just just for the safety of the pups. All right,
We're gonna have to close up now. Listen, I gotta
go out in an errand you understand that you're gonna
go out and do an activity. That's right, that's right. Now.
I'm gonna give you the keys to lock up. You understand, Dunny, keeez.
(09:21):
They go into lots and then you can use them
to close your door and make sure they're secure. That's right,
that's yes, that's right. All right, Okay, now listen, I'm
gonna come. I'm gonna be back at home. You can
see me at home. Okay, stand father. Home. That's the
place that we live. That's more than just a house
because it has love and it's built on a foundation
of trust and caring. That's exactly right, That's exactly right. Now. Listen,
(09:44):
we gotta close in an hour. You understand stand time? Okay?
Uh excuse me? You guys open looking for a for
a puppy. We we are open, but I got a
(10:05):
corral puppies here. But my father said, we're not gonna
sell any more puppies. And then he confused me with
the word hour, because what donny, won't you just get
the sale and I'll meet you back at home. Alright,
alright home at sometime, Yes, sir, come this way. I'll
(10:28):
show you some of our softest, most cuddly puppies ever.
And by the way, my father has been reading some
dots since. And then those guys are long. Oh, I
like a good docs. Okay, what's the twist ability of
these twist abilities? Can you get the feet facing like
straight up? I don't know. Mostly people just come in
(10:51):
and cut them and smell their breath and say they're
wet toad smell like Fredo's Sure, of course, they do.
But I'm just starting hypothetically. Could you get the front
pause to stay down while you have the other pause
completely one eighty supposed so shame. I guess there's only
one way to find out. No, I don't know. Look,
(11:13):
I I told I told my son he was supposed
to be back here in an hour. Officuely, I just
don't know where he is. Okay, now, if you can
just let me inside my shop. On a second earlier,
you said you told your son to meet you at
home in an hour. Now you're telling me that you
said that you want him to be here in an
hour at the shop. And son was confused down this
(11:37):
time in cursive though, Okay, do it in some type
of what's the other words, Rune, I'll do it in
excuse me uf so is I'm a concerned citizen? What
was going on here? Was there some kind of puppy
twisting being concerned? You'll make a cuny, Greig. You went
(12:07):
a little Kevin Spacey there in the movie seven see two.
It's Thomas who wrote High Alchemist Readings from Michigan. It's
been a loyal listener and I'm so damn happy you
guys have stuck around and haven't used your fame and
wealth to flee the States. My suggestion a mail in
(12:28):
contest to win a small island country. Thanks Thomas. Oh,
we gotta tabulate the scores here. We got quite a
bit of entrance. This is gonna be a tough one
this year, Tina. I think we could just pull the
name out of the hat like we always now, we're
(12:51):
not gonna do it like that. Okay, We're gonna read
each piece of mail like we agreed. All right, Tommy,
We're gonna find out who want Tommy. We appreciate the
enthusias YSM, but who died? Made you? Fu? Face? Okay,
all right, all right, welcome everyone to the funeral of
the former face. He had a good life, he had
(13:14):
a strong life, but he's no longer with us. I'm
so sorry for your loss. I'm so sorry for your loss.
How did he die? That's the question put me. He
died at first in Maine, that part. Then I guess
there really no more. That's just I don't care about
(13:37):
how if I know where? You know what I'm saying.
I love him justin where are my stamps? I didn't
put him anywhere? I don't steal. Still, that's right. You
stole one time. What happened to you? I beat that booty?
(13:59):
But did maybe did you mail it in? Did you
mail in our contest? Not yet, darling, But just get
the stamps and put it on the least in. I didn't.
I didn't steal them. I don't steal. What happened last time?
You stole? My booty got beated. Your booty got beated.
(14:21):
That's right now, listen, I want to get us out
of this small town and I want to give us
a small country island, small island country. Do you understand
what I'm doing this for the family, Teresa? But why
don't you did a stamp? That just I don't know.
Talk to your father the way you would talk to
him if you respected him. Did you take his stamps? Uh? Sir,
(14:46):
Mr President Um, your honor, your honor, your majesty. I
don't I don't steal. I don't steal, but I did
eat the stamp. They do only mean one thing. Sincerely,
Mama's gonna have to go inside your elementary canal and
find that staff elementary get into my canal. Rick, thank
(15:12):
you for trying to help me sell my Island. I
appreciate it very much. How is the early bids calling? Well?
Dr Moreau, things are looking good. Um, right now we
have about two to three letters. They're coming in every hour,
seventh letter to the seventh letter. We ever got you
(15:36):
said they were colling in. Just go find that seventh letter,
give me, give me one second, doctor again, I'm gonna
eat this cheese SNS on a lunch break. And I no, no,
I'm stilling my lunch break. I was about to say,
don't you don't starve me on my lunch break. You're
(15:57):
gonna eat that? If you're talking shahn need it. We
have to listen to boundaries because John can't protect them himself.
God damn leopard. People listen to me. Okay, we need
to find the seventh letter, okay, or what does that mean? What?
You could pick a letter? Just tell them the seventh letter.
(16:18):
Rich with you. I am half docks and okay, I
am loyalty built in. Do you understand that? All right?
And we are Okay, we're people, so we're very efficient.
We know how this works. We're going in the letter. Okay,
I'm not I'm not gonna seven here seventh one? Are
you happy. Can I eat that sandwich? You have a
(16:41):
bite of that sandwich? I'm on my lunch. Say what
does it say? It says um, It doesn't say anything
is question, what does it mean that? Well, I understood that.
I okay. Well it was like a child wrote a
(17:01):
doctor and he says, uh, here to whom it's concerned.
I would love to win this small island. My name
is Diana, like the deceased princess. But I am not
a princess. I am an orphan, and I live underneath
(17:21):
the vacuum store. And then we only but I have
a radio and a policeman radio, and I used to
have a dog when it got twisted, so that happens,
and it just goes on and on like that. So
messed up, little girl. Let's see if we can't get
the island to her. Diane, Diane, Diane, it's me. It's
(17:45):
me from the new owner of the pet store. There's
a lot like the deceased princess, I never read the
last syllable of anyone's name. By the way, a letter
came to you today, address to this address. Well, where
is it? Can I help it? Yes, of course, here
(18:07):
it is. It's for you can you read it to me?
I like you've always better than mine. I suppose I
can read it if you'd like that, Diana. There it
is is as required by the decree that I made.
I doctor my row. Now give you a small island country.
(18:32):
Meet me at the corner of Second and Maine tomorrow
morning about this time. Signed Dr Moreau and the Leopard
and Doctor I don't understand. Hey, buddy, you're gonna have
to move your car. You can't have an idol here.
(18:52):
You understand what idle mean? What does idle mean? One
man's idol is another man's action. Well, come on, I'll
give a if you have frog or whatever. Okay, you
can't have your car here. You gotta move it, all right?
Why did your man you have big? Yeah, we're moving it.
But what's the big rush? What's the big You can't
park in this a loading onloading zone only. Okay, Yeah,
(19:14):
we're loaded loaded. We couldn't be more loaded. Yes, back
up with this, Mike. Are you on duty or not? No,
I'm not on duty, but I can call somebody. Uh actually, yeah,
I think these guys are yaked out of their mind. Yeah,
these are these are frogmen from the Island at Dr Moreau.
They don't come to the mainland that often, No, they don't.
(19:35):
There must be some kind of contest. I'm just just
picking up from context clues. Are you listening to what
I'm doing? Is this second straight? This? This is the the
second man? Yeah, hello, little kid? Yes, this this second
in Maine? Why did you change it? Pain, I'm just
(20:02):
tring to look a kid, rob nose, frob nose. I
hadn't thought that had pasta went one way, ended the
head past the other way? Uh huh? Twist it up.
You know we never caught that guy. You never caught
that guy that I heard your voice? You know that
(20:22):
guy still on the loose? Do you know that? Is
there a Diana here? That's right? Yes, I'm here to
take you to meet Dr Mareu, Dr Moreau. Please hop
on my back. Okay, that was like a worse man. Yeah,
(20:45):
what the hell was that? But look, you still got
to move this car, you understand, Teresa. Bring me the paper.
You can get the fucking paper yourself. Bitch. I don't
love you anymore, motherfucker daddy. You don't take that from her.
Somebody to give me the goddamn paper. I want to
(21:05):
see is. Don't give him the paper. Give it to
him right after I wipe my ass with it. How
about that one day? I'm sorry, but we're gonna have
to cut water and power. Hey, I told you I'm
good for next month. It is next month, and there's
nothing more money than you your five alright, alright, alright.
(21:27):
I have news paper right here, okay, and in it
says who won a small country? Small? Check it out?
Death a little girl? What a little girl? One? You
talking about? You? I don't even open the paper. Wipe
my ass with a little man? I read the paper
at five, Give me my ass, my wife's ass with this? Okay?
(21:50):
And then okay. So the concept for this show is right, Uh,
we follow the people who lost the contest just as
much as the people who want sure sure stories more interesting.
You're never going to run out of stories because thousands
(22:10):
upon thousands of people lost the contest, and they're desperate
and they're angry, and they would only enter if they
were desperate and angry but hopeful. Maybe their optimism is dead.
What happens next? I'm interested. We see what happens when
things don't go that way. Do we ever get a
chance to see her seeing that a doctor who's looking
at the lady with the newsprint in her ass from
getting in the paper. Is that a scene that I'd
(22:35):
be interested in seeing that. There's no bad ideas at
this point, isn't Teresa? Just sign in? Okay, the doctor
will see if you gotta sign in first. I'm a
little fucking uncomfortable. Can you sign my name for me? Okay,
we'll do Bitch, I'm sorry. He man, Hey, man, that's
a woman. That's a woman, right, that's a queen. Right,
(22:56):
that's a queen. Right, Damn bitch, you need to specd women. Man,
don't hit me. I like this guy. I like you.
I like not. I'm not just hitting you for you.
I'm I'm hitting you for all the women that you've
disgraced in the past. Man, respected woman, and respect your queen. Man,
that's a lot of women. I'm a fucking queen, and
(23:17):
I do have a newsprint stuck up my ass right now.
But on another day, I'd like to take you up
on any kind of offer you would ever make me service.
Very into your vibe. I'm very into your vibe in
the way you right, Aaron Fimpleman, Aaron Fimpleman. But what
(23:38):
I'm Aaron fimple Man. But I'll tell you what. Let
this lady go first, Let this queen go first, Let
this queen you. I'll go on and thank you. I've
been sanded enough. Aaron fimble Man. I'm gonna coming for
you as soon as this doctor this uh, this woman
has all the medical records of Aaron Fimpleman. So you
gotta figure this out. So was that the scene you
(24:01):
wanted to see? No very, I'm still laughing. I'm still
laughing at the part where she says, Fippleman, this is
the way she said. It makes me laugh. For that's
we can spin off into Aaron Fippleman. So we've got,
you know, contest, you know, running as the questioner. I mean,
we're gonna see scenes here. Why don't we see? Are
(24:24):
you a pig man? Uh? I'm going to call him
the general, but sure he's definitely part pig. I mean,
I'm John Madden here, and uh, what I want to
see is nineteen seventy two Steelers, okay against the two
thousand eight. Mr mad Men doesn't understand man doesn't think
(24:49):
if we have that, then I think say, yes, we
can do that. Yeah, yes, you need that sandwich or
please don't touch u. Mhich. Welcome to the island. Dr
Moreau will see you now, Little Diana. Thank you very
much to be here. I'm sure I love the coconuts.
(25:12):
See they left with people in the tweet. Where's this
magical creature? Diana? Um guilty uh Diana, welcome, Welcome to
paradise that is now yours. You have so many tubes
stuck in you. That's what keeps me able to speak
(25:32):
to you and see your beauty. Can I ask you
one question about the island? Yeah, now that it's yours
and all of the inhabitants are yours to look after,
will you allow me to stay on as a grounds keeper? Okay, yeah,
this don't new to me. I'm or friend. I lived
(25:54):
on a one room I mean, if you have a place,
you're comfortable staying here. Absolutely. I wasn't aware there's gonna
be so many, um you know, half animal people. It's
a scarier island than I imagine. As it turns out, Diana,
this is the central government of Beliefe. You don't have
to speak to them about what you want to do
(26:17):
with the island. As well as the amount of back
tuxes that need to be paid. Okay, different, Diana, this
is the Advicultural department. Be here. I was waiting for
three hours and I think I got the reforms right
this time. Very good, very good. Okay, Diana. Those men
(26:39):
or not from police. I don't know why they are from,
but I do do not have a belize in accents
like I do. I want to go back to my
whole in the car, part of the CIA. Get in
the car now. Okay, then you were part of a
massive government conspiracy cover up slash big time. Oh scary times.
(27:04):
Come with me. Don't trust that man. Listen. If you
want to go back to where you were from, say
it three times fast. The Barstow vacuum store under these
barst of vacuum? Who needs a vacuum? Who needs a vacuum? Yeah?
(27:28):
I got but Kirby, it needs to be fixed. All right? Then? Hey,
little girl, what did you? What did you suddenly? Oh
my goodness is that I portn't here. I had these forms.
So I need to get to the Afrid Cultural Department
because I think I'm gonna be in trouble if I
don't turn the forms, then you won't need those forms here,
(27:51):
little girl, everything's much easier. You're a frog man from
the traffic champ. What's that over there? I I don't
think we have the budget to do any of this,
but we're really looking at actual time temporal travel here.
We really want to do literally, I think that's the
(28:11):
only way it works. If we can actually we have
a time continuum, we're able to call a time out.
I'm literally thank you for putting us. Well, that's good,
We're gonna do that. He Theresa, how are you feeling?
(28:31):
How's your butt? My asshole is uh? You know, there's
some vowels that are apparently not going to be going anywhere.
So look, I want to what I want to apologize.
First of all, that guy beat the shift out of
me in that waiting room. Yeah, when I was choking
(28:51):
on my own blood. I know. I got some other
good news. I got a letter. Wait, what was the
first good news? Now that's good news. So the other
good news is turns out that little orphan couldn't couldn't
manage the island, and it looks like, oh my fucking god,
(29:14):
you're kidding me. We got the island, baby, we got
the baby. I love you that's the twist. That's why
we've been focusing on these fucking people the entire time.
They get the island, people from the people from Jersey
get the islands. They do why they of the series
(29:37):
and that scene to everybody has seen to Bayonne three
comes from Patron V I. P. Who wrote nature documentary
Mating Habits of the Elusive Bridge Troll. If you just
(30:00):
follow me, So if you notice this stone arch bridge
right here, can we take pictures along the way? The
flash is going to hurt the stone, So no, no
flash photography and no. Yeah, well, I mean i'd say
be very careful because because the charcoal might scare the stone. Yes,
(30:21):
we have a timid question, Yes, yeah, yeah, I just
wanted is it okay if I remember this experience. I mean,
I would really caution against that having these kind of
jumps in time back to the stone might scare the stone.
Completely understood, completely, So I'm putting I'm putting my pencil
little back in its holster. Can we look at the stone?
(30:43):
I would just give it a line. I'd actually prefer
if everyone could just look at the reflection in the
water of the stone. Being directly at the stone scare
the stone. Stay it with me, now, it might stone
should have been more clearly, should have been more clearly. Alright,
so just scare of the stone, scares the stone? Should
we stop saying the stone? Just stop saying that. So
(31:09):
this story, I said, so, yeah, those are the uh,
those are the humans. I thought i'd bring you on
this first date till we could watch the humans try
to look at the stone and stuff from under the
under the bridge. You're so pretty. I'm just nervous. I'm sorry,
you're pretty, and I'm nervous control i've ever seen. If
I could say that, you're so you're beautiful. My dad
(31:33):
really wants me to marry a troll. I know, because
you know, because I'm a troll. I know, I know,
but I found so that's why that's why he set
us up. Okay, you're very nice for add him on
to interrupt your date. But did somebody orders sweet tea
and then did someone else order mushroom gravy with a straw?
(31:54):
That's us. Yeah, it was the mushroom cravy. Here's your
mushroom gravy with a straw. I'm and here's your sweet
By the way, I've seen a lot of troll couples
in the past. You two are literally the most adorable
troll couples I've ever seen. If I wouldn't even wait
for marriage, I would start making sweet love now, not
(32:14):
a couple of just out for some some mushroom gradation.
I've already walked away from your table. So what do
you what do you? What do you mean? You are
you not looking to marry a troll? Look? I come
from a very traditionalist troll family, you know. Uh, they
just they want to keep it, you know, within the species.
(32:35):
And so what's the issue? God damn it. We we
come from the bloodline of Grendel. Do you understand that
we're not just gonna you're just gonna get together with
some goddamn troll und read the bridge, all right, at honey.
So I'm not troll enough. I'm not troll enough. That's
(32:56):
what you're saying. Not for them or for me. It's
very confused. Clarify, don't call me by my full name,
just Claire. Look my handy. I mean, if you really
want to get up into the echelon of the trolls, man,
you gotta really just you gotta spote it up. You're
(33:16):
too much of a bridge troll. You understand. I'm I'm
proud of being a bridge troll man. You should, but
unless you want to get up there in that good stock,
I mean, these are cave trolls. These are mountain trolls.
You know what I mean? How do I? What do
I do? Why do I do it? Number one? I mean,
you gotta you gotta clothe yourself. Can I just stop
(33:36):
you too for a second. I just want to jump
in with some quick notes. Uh, the first fellow there
with the squinty eyes, you've committed to this character, and
I hope the other students say this. You've committed to
this character to the point where you're making a face
to help sell who this person is and what they think.
Whereas actor number two, you're you're very intuitive. He's doing that,
(34:03):
he's doing that, but you're doing that well. I mean,
I I did inject myself with troll blood, so I
I'm more of like a a natural actor. I don't
really caricature it up upon and I don't do a
lot of voices, accents, faces, you know, I'm just very
straight ahead, ask questions and yes, Larry, from what I understand,
(34:27):
most documentaries are not made by actors. It's the actual
people themselves, and America is clamoring for the mating habits
of the elusive troll. But you thought you would bring
me something with very wonderful actors pretending to be trouths.
I am, I am. I painting the picture correctly with
(34:49):
me to see. I think the idea was to give
you a taste, and I've said, you've done it a
great explanation. So wait, you're telling me you're not a troll.
I'm I'm an actor. Um. I wondered why you were
only six ft tall? Yeah, yeah, I mean I know
(35:13):
that bridge trolls are smaller than us mountain trolls. But
and why is there a camera crew here? Well they're
doing just just it's a concept, proof of concept. But look, Claire,
here's a proof of concept. I'm a troll. Talk to
me like at all I really want to tell you, Claire,
is that I actually genuinely have feelings for you. Now? Really,
(35:38):
how do I know this isn't part of your reality show?
I'm not that good of an actor, David. Thank you
for meeting me here. Um, yes, I'll have a grenadine.
Did you mount sweet? Didnt Sweet? Tea with it or
mushroom g just a grenadine, thank you. It tastes. I
don't want to argue with you, sir, but it tasted
a lot bad. It was sweet tea and or a
(35:59):
mushroom grad you this troll just do a grenadine. We'll see.
But the hell was what do they mean by will
see about? Listen? David? I uh, I love what you're
doing here. We're getting into into the trolls and I
I'm working with the CIA right now, and I need
you to I need you to kill that troll. Are
you allowed to tell me you're working with the CIA?
(36:21):
That seems like something people don't tell each David. Is
your acting teacher that he brought along? Yeah, not supposed
to chime in, he'said, he's I mean, another teacher. He's
just steps over that line occasionally. Okay, Well, you know
what I'm ever to pay. I'm just scared to pay
attention to interrupt, that's what. That's fine. Look, look, David,
(36:43):
you need to hear this. You have to take that
troll out, and then you got to find where the
family of those trolls are and take them out too.
I don't want to interrupt. I'm sorry. I know you'll
learned my table, but it would mean a lot to
Marlene if you'll would just order one mushroom guy, babe,
the straw I want done done well? He did. She
was really hard selling it, and she was really sad
(37:04):
about y'all just brushing her off, and she's worked hard
and I didn't. Then you just said just a gritted thing.
And I know this isn't my table, and I can't
oppause it would mean a lot to her. Okay, back,
it mean a lot to me if I just had
a I can't hear you, Claire. I know it's late.
I just I wanted to see your face one more time.
(37:27):
Thank thanks for coming to my cave. Hey, who's there?
You've you've awakened mama troll. Oh you know what, I
think it would be a nice time to meet her.
Use don't use the microphone. Now, don't dress my mama, Papa.
(37:47):
This is this is David. Oh this was a fucking
a cave. Prow Well, he said, he was a little
pits lance of a troll of people role. But sixty
if human that is is wrong, that's gotta snipper on him.
(38:13):
He loves me, I love I smell a human who doesn't,
who doesn't make the right choices in a acting. My
dad has a very precisely well, then I think this
would be a good time to discuss the thin line
between caricature and character, Sir, go on, So some people
(38:37):
get you know a lot of accolades for for works
that I feel like are just over the top. Doesn't
What do you want to name us firm graving? Yes? Please,
no job for me? Go on, David can be honest
with me. Are you ci A, because you have to
tell me if you are. Yeah, she knows, she knows.
(39:01):
They all know. I'm here. I'm stop talking into your shoulder. Okay,
whats he she I ain't. No. Traditionally eat your arms
and then we'd eat your legs and leave your tors
over there to ferment. Wait second, I thought he was
a barstow your c I A C I A. Oh
(39:24):
you're not repped. I'm I'm part of the new Faces.
Um right now, I'm your question, he said, Are you so?
I know I'm not wrapped, but I'm eligible eligible. We
don't care about your show kite repped in half. Now clarify,
(39:48):
this was just moments before your mother and father were
shot to pieces by the human being. But you said
one line that day that is stuck in twill history forever.
You were about to get ripped in half? Two things,
what was going through your mind at that moment? And
(40:11):
the second thing at that moment, what was going through
your mind? Well, thank you Mary for asking um the
I mean, trolls very naturally do plays on words without
thinking about it very much, And that's well written. Well,
getting rapped was out there. It was just it was
out there, so I think that was kind of placed
(40:33):
in my head. And I also imagined my father, who
who hates humans with a passion, literally pulling David's body
apart and ripping him in half. And did this happen?
Did your father with David in half? That? No, he
was killed by the government before he had a chance
(40:53):
to rip David in half. By the c I think
the CIA and the CIA were involved. We'll be right
back after this commercial. Hi, my name is David Van Eyes.
I will be doing a scene from um ericsens. Let's
just do that again, all right, because I have to
(41:14):
send this in and I just I want you to
look like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I want you to be
the best you cand So it's okay, it's nervous, a
big it's a big part, you know what I mean,
it's huge. A lot of eyes are gonna see this.
And I don't mean to freak you out, don't mean
to get you all answing the pants. You're making you
shoot out of your eyes. Okay, What I want you
to do is I want you to focus on just
deliver this as Hey, Michael, you've been telling the actors
(41:36):
you don't want them to shoot out of their eyes
a lot lately, which, first of all, I totally respect.
There's an acting coach right near Barstow and he's suggesting
that actors actually do start to to shoot out of
their eyes. He's saying, it really brings up the pathos.
(41:57):
I don't know if that means anything to you. I
don't want to tell you how to do your job.
That's not what I'm here for. Well that's what I'm hearing.
Are you serious? Then? Yeah? You know what. I'm already
I'm already gone, I'm already walking away. Well I'm gonna
follow you. No, please go, Paul. I mean, I'm literally
trying to get away from you. So I'm gonna follow
(42:19):
you because you cannot come in. David. It's clarify. I
ripped the roof off of your your apartment building to
talk to you. Shit. Look, yeah, well I I know
that the whole thing was a set up. Okay, that
was just something you were doing for TV, and that
that you had my parents killed by the US government.
(42:39):
And I'm now the last of my kind, I'm the
last mountain troll. Okay. But I felt like what we
had was real. I love you. The ship's word from
David's eyes that day like chip had never poured from
a man's eyes before. Oh God, what has happen? Is
(43:02):
this something that you humans do that is disgusting? And
I drink gravy out of a straw? Clarify? Okay, Aaron
Finmpleman will see you in a minute. Uh, We're gonna
see you in a minute. David Ramona, do you mire
you here? David Ramon? Oh sorry, I'm David Ramona. David
(43:27):
Van Eyes, Oh, David van Eyes is what I had
my David David van Eyes, why don't you come with
me here? Okay? And now part of me? Why don't
you just sitting here so you don't need David m
I need you to sit down and shut the funk up. Okay,
on the right sheet, I think everybody, I mean, David
van Eys, alrighty, shut the funk up, all right. I've
(43:47):
been waiting for now, and you're gonna wait longer quickly.
That's no way to talk to a queen. Yes, David,
how are you? Wow? Just looking at your eyes right now?
They are infected. Uh that is heavy, doctor, Doctor, get
(44:12):
it under control. Get back in the waiting room for
a long time. I could do your job. I could
do this. Get the fuck back in the ship in
his eyes? Shame on, doctor, Oh you know my job.
Funny is hell? I get to see funny shit. Can
(44:32):
you please see me next? Look, you gotta you gotta
get a paper cuts in your butt hole. Okay, you
gotta see a forensic proctologist. That's just the fact. I
can only help you so far. Okay, I can't help
you all the asshole your eyes, David, alright, So what
seems to be the problem me to take a look
at the church here? Oh oh, well, you came to
(44:55):
the forensic specialists for just in time, it seems. Uh.
Tell me about your symptoms. Um, I guess it's it's
it's a small they're small cuts, but they're very painful.
And if you looked at them, you'd say, those are
so small. And I know they are small, but they
are so they're maddeningly painful. Um. And there's a series
(45:18):
of them, and they are, um, you know, up up
my asshole and and um, out of out of my
personal view, I see them go again and I don't
see any exit. So it's a series of tiny, tiny
cuts that are just given me hell and any inclination whatsoever.
How this occurred, Well, I have a cousin and um,
(45:42):
she right, and she said her you know, on again
off husband had shoved newspaper up her ass. But then
they they had this you know, notoriously tragic marriage, and
then things turned around for them. So I told Greg,
Greg's my partner. I said, well, why not, what's the
worst that could have? And then I have it's very
it's very bad. Oh So it was volunteer, it was,
(46:06):
I mean, it wasn't. It wasn't. Huh. I'm gonna put yes, Um, okay,
now I know what you're thinking. You The main thrust
of the story was this love story between this human
and this fifty footroll woman. But the Aaron Templeman show
is going to take left turns like that. Templeman himself
is going to be a very small part of the show.
(46:28):
And Templeman, if if I'm not mistaken, he really cares
that women are treated properly like queens, like queens queens
on the Templeman Bible. I mean that. That's that's his
main characters tread absolutely now and Alreight Finkel was a kicker.
I love your game, hate hate having you heard the
(46:48):
states of the game, hate the player of the game.
I'm playing for the Chicago Bears in nineteen forty and
I was I don't know anything, but that's for not right.
And that's our show for today. Who baby what rails?
(47:11):
Didn't even see him. Let's thank everyone first and foremost
Happy New Year to each of you, and thank you
so much for joining us in this glorious new year.
And let's say thank you first to Mr Christo Verona. Hey,
thank you, Happy New Year, everybody. I love you guys
so much. Recently, on one of my my improv workshops
I had that you can find out all about it.
(47:34):
Chris dash dot com and gentlemen, listen to the show
by his friend the gift of my workshop, and he came.
It was McCoy body friend, Hide and hide. It was fantastic.
We had so much fun. So you know you want
to go a workshop. Come over to Chris dash dot com.
Check out those workshops. Baby, could also be a gift.
Could also be a gift. Love that. Happy to year, everybody,
(47:57):
the gift that keeps on giving. I'm gonna say, all right,
looks like us, thank you, Happy new year to you
and the family. Let us be a better year. Yeah,
let it be a better year. Glad to be ringing
it in. Let's keep our wits about us and keep
(48:17):
making good decisions if we are. Thank you for that,
and everyone go to Dona better dot com color to
check out marvelous events coming up immediately. Thank you, you,
bet you. Gary Anthony Williams, thank you so much as well.
Thank you guys, and I gotta tell you much like Yeah,
(48:38):
nothing could go wrong in the year. This is our year.
No going sideways. If anybody needs anything, they don't even
need to do direct message me on instead Gary Anthony
Williams or Twitter at Gary A. Williams. If you need
any money, any of that stuff, just put it right
out there, and I'm there is no way I won't
(49:01):
deliver on everybody's financial needs. A lot of people not
our gear bear Craig Kakowski, thank you also so damn much,
and happy New Year to you and always a pleasure.
Happy new Year. Just want to give a shout out
to The Alchemy, that podcast that I've pledged to listen
to one episode that reviews two episodes that I was
(49:23):
not in. That's the greatest. And uh, folks, check out
the Twelve Days of Christ Now Craigslist. Craigslist podcast. You
can follow us on SoundCloud and iTunes and all those
normal podcasting places, or follow us at Craigslist, pea cast
(49:44):
on Twitter. Beautiful and lastly, but certainly leastly, Jimmy mull doone. Hello, Yeah,
thank you so much for being here today. Joseph Kerman,
it was a pleasure. It was a blast. Okay, by
the way, when the fans started hashed hag like fun
Joey right, I mean, I mean, what am I gonna do?
Right Well, I'm am I going to hire a private
(50:06):
investigor to find these people, you know what I mean?
Am I going to do that. There, Am I going
to rent out apartments in different homes next to where
they are and start tapping? Am I going to do that?
That's an option? Oh? What am I gonna do? Huh? Okay, Oh,
just just say you know, everyone gets a happy dude,
(50:27):
Everyone gets a happy New Year. No one gott a
hashtag fuck Joey. No, it's a hashtag you do. But yeah,
but I'm not saying it's a good thing. I must
saying that one in my book. It's one your book.
Any publicity is good publicity, Joey. That's not true. People
start saying I'm a witch. That's bad publicity for me.
I can't have that. But I think you can have
a little and you did, and we appreciate you being
(50:49):
such a big big boy. Yeah that's right. And let's
thank a producer and engineering the stars. Fine folks that
I heart media. Happy New Year. This is your host,
Kevin Parks saying thank you so very damn much for
tuning us in and being a part of the show.
Stay involved right to us at your name here, Welcome
(51:10):
to this dot com and just be kind to each
other please and until next time. Remember oh yeah,
Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. It is COVID
nine edition, and I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. Yes that
Kevin Pollo. What's that? Well? If I have to choose
fuck Chris, Mary, James, kill Joe. Oh and even though
you're not asking, definitely cheat on James with Craig. But
I digress. Let's meet our chemist, shall we no particular order?
(00:25):
Please say good day to Vanessa Raglan Veniche, Good day,
good day. Please share with us an utterly selfish wish
for twenty one, A selfish one. Yeah, utterly selfish, utterly
that I would come into an airstream trailer. It would
(00:48):
just I would just come into it with no work
and I would not deserve it, and I would get
to have it and it would be nice. Drop an
air stream trailer dropped off at your play Yeah for me.
Sure no strings attached this time? And you would nickname
it safe Place. Yeah? Nice? What the hell is Christoparado
(01:13):
not your daddy's long legs? If I could grant you
one wish for the new year, and that wish is
to teach you how to master one thing, what would
it be? Something to do with, you know, mastering my
mm hmm. Like my just say like something like you know,
like internal, like how do I master my doubt? How
(01:35):
do I? How do I? How do I? How do I?
How do I? How do I conquer? Feed out of?
Get out of your own way? Yeah? Get out of
my own way? Yes, that's probably for me. Hold on
a second, everybody, Hello, Hello, and also surfing. Yes, once again,
Please welcome Gary Anthony Will. Yeah, I'm feeling good, literally
(01:57):
from my head to my shoes. Nice truth or gear?
New Year's Eve plans just say truth or gear. I did.
That's the name of my new TV show, Welcome. I
plan on because my girlfriend likes to go to sleep early.
I plan on waking her up loudly at New year
(02:19):
She's gonna be pissed. I can guarantee you I'll never
get to touch her again, but it will be yep,
and good luck with that. Please report you. Hey, it's
Craig Gatkowski, Coco. Have you ever tried to wallpaper a room? Please?
No painting is bad enough. I can't imagine what it's
like the wallpaper. Yeah, I do want to use that
(02:41):
one thing that flattens it out, But the rest of
it you can have the final step is the best. Yeah,
but all the work that leads up to it, no,
thank you forget about it. And last but hand me
down under rug for you. If you think I leaves,
it's Joey Greer time suck. What happens next? I mean
that all depends on what's as you make right now,
because the divergence of that choice is going to determine
(03:04):
where you end up. But I can tell you this,
out of every choice that one might make, I guarantee
it will be the one that you don't want to.
So second, guess the choice that you're gonna make right
now because you really want to make the choice you
do want to, because again, that's going to determine where
you end up. How we end up there, Obviously, it's
not just based on what choice we made. How did
we make it? And I'm not just saying what did
(03:25):
I use my feet? That I use my hands or
you know what I mean, my eyes? I'm saying like,
how did you make that? Right? Like in your brain?
What can I use my hand? Exactly? And that's another
thing I want to get to. Okay, well, did you
hear the uncertainty in that? Do you hear the shakiness
that was in there. We we want to strengthen that.
(03:45):
We want to put some some iron beams right in there. Jam.
I'm in there as hard as we can, because we
want to make sure that that the choice is strong. Right.
The idea of the thought that we're making is not
something that's preconceived or put into our minds by ounce force.
Rather say putting, putting to our minds. Did you hear how? Yes?
Did you hear the yssa? Did you see that? Because
(04:07):
he said putting and putting joy quickly behind you. All
of our scene suggestions are gathered from listener emails or
from our patron v I ps become a patron sup
part of the show and enjoy plus of content like well,
I don't know video of what's happening right now in
Joey's mind. Just head on over the patron dot com
slash alchemy this if you like to submit a scene
suggestion by email email, I say, please write your podcast
(04:28):
at your name here at alchemy dot com. That's your
name here. Seen one comes from patron Alchemaniac Dougie, who wrote, Hey, Alchemist,
I promised to stop spreading rumors about Joey if he
brought back Instagram Live content. Since he did, I've hardly
said anything bad about him. Here's my scene suggestion. A
(04:51):
man by the name of fun Joey is accused of
twisting dogs around the Greater l A Area. What the fuck?
This is based on true events hashtag fun Joey signed Dougie. No,
I mean I was just the other day. We were
over there and you know the huh, you're gonna eat
(05:13):
that donut. Yes, I'm gonna eat that donut. I don't
eat as fast as you. Okay, it's yeah, I'm gonna
get to the donut. I want to eat the donut.
And you were saying I'm saying, now, you gotta be
in my head about the donut thing. Man, I don't
even want to talk about what you want. Don't Yes,
I do want the doughnut loop every time we eat. Yeah,
(05:35):
that's right, donuts gotta go. Baby. Are you listening to me? Man?
Like I feel like your mind Hold on a second. Yeah,
we got a four seven nine the first street and
man to have on that twisted dog over That's right, Bye,
bye bye, I love you. How long have you had
(05:56):
that cop radio? To be honest? Four weeks for a week.
Gotta for Christmas? What is your problem? Look my promise.
Every time we eat, you gotta come here and you
gotta point out what I mean you want to eat it,
just just get extra donuts if you want more donuts.
You guys listening to a cop radio? Yeah we are.
What's up? I'm I work on the force. I'm off
(06:17):
duty right now. Did you want to borrow the radio? No,
I'm good. Don't let me know. Let me do anybody
look that donuts mine? Okay, don't even try it. I
don't want your donut. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I have
a little loss. Where where it? Could anyone help me?
Where am i? You're at the corner of First in Maine.
The corner of First and Maine. Yeah, and that's very close.
(06:42):
She's all, she's all twisted around. Where are you? Where
are you trying to go? I was trying. I was
going in the direction of a dog's shrink. Uh huh.
And I was walking towards the shrink. And I don't
I I'm I'm all. I'm confused, and the shrieking is out.
I just give it. I'm off duty right now. Man discombobulated.
(07:03):
It happens a lot. Well, listen, you're in Larry's House
of donuts. Can I buy you donut? Officers? This is
probably the worst case of dog twisting that I've ever seen.
God damn it. It looks like some of the fur
has been rubbed off, exposing the skin. There's just a note.
(07:26):
Write that down. I'll write that down for us. Somebody,
please go ahead, please? Is it too early to assume
we know who did this? You know what they say
about assuming you're making a suit of me? Exactly? Yeah, down?
Or of course, the Sioux Indians were some of the
most famous dog twisters ever. Make a suit out of me?
(07:49):
Go head and write it down. Sergeant. Absolutely, I'm gonna
write in cursive. I'm just gonna say. I'm just gonna
say it. This looks like fun Joey ship. It's that's
for sure. You said duty. But I just I knew
you guys were taking a meeting and I don't want
(08:11):
to miss that or anything. Excuse thank you for your service.
Thank you for your service. Officers. Can I get any
of you a donut? This fucking guy over here, what
do you what do you assume? Because we're cops, you
like donuts. Is that what happens when you assume I'm
making out of him the most assumptive Native American tribe ever?
(08:36):
Do they like donuts? Where are we right now? The
corner first? Okay, great, just wanted to clarify. But also
inside Larry's house, and it looks like we're gonna have
to be closing up shop. People are buying puppies right now.
It looks like there's a puppy twister out in the streets. Shop. Father,
(08:58):
We've had this shop for long as I can remember.
You're drooling, Donny, listen, all right, Look, we're gonna have
to just just for the safety of the pups. All right,
We're gonna have to close up now. Listen, I gotta
go out in an errand you understand that you're gonna
go out and do an activity. That's right, that's right. Now.
I'm gonna give you the keys to lock up. You understand, Dunny, keeez.
(09:21):
They go into lots and then you can use them
to close your door and make sure they're secure. That's right,
that's yes, that's right. All right, Okay, now listen, I'm
gonna come. I'm gonna be back at home. You can
see me at home. Okay, stand father. Home. That's the
place that we live. That's more than just a house
because it has love and it's built on a foundation
of trust and caring. That's exactly right, That's exactly right. Now. Listen,
(09:44):
we gotta close in an hour. You understand stand time? Okay?
Uh excuse me? You guys open looking for a for
a puppy. We we are open, but I got a
(10:05):
corral puppies here. But my father said, we're not gonna
sell any more puppies. And then he confused me with
the word hour, because what donny, won't you just get
the sale and I'll meet you back at home. Alright,
alright home at sometime, Yes, sir, come this way. I'll
(10:28):
show you some of our softest, most cuddly puppies ever.
And by the way, my father has been reading some
dots since. And then those guys are long. Oh, I
like a good docs. Okay, what's the twist ability of
these twist abilities? Can you get the feet facing like
straight up? I don't know. Mostly people just come in
(10:51):
and cut them and smell their breath and say they're
wet toad smell like Fredo's Sure, of course, they do.
But I'm just starting hypothetically. Could you get the front
pause to stay down while you have the other pause
completely one eighty supposed so shame. I guess there's only
one way to find out. No, I don't know. Look,
(11:13):
I I told I told my son he was supposed
to be back here in an hour. Officuely, I just
don't know where he is. Okay, now, if you can
just let me inside my shop. On a second earlier,
you said you told your son to meet you at
home in an hour. Now you're telling me that you
said that you want him to be here in an
hour at the shop. And son was confused down this
(11:37):
time in cursive though, Okay, do it in some type
of what's the other words, Rune, I'll do it in
excuse me uf so is I'm a concerned citizen? What
was going on here? Was there some kind of puppy
twisting being concerned? You'll make a cuny, Greig. You went
(12:07):
a little Kevin Spacey there in the movie seven see two.
It's Thomas who wrote High Alchemist Readings from Michigan. It's
been a loyal listener and I'm so damn happy you
guys have stuck around and haven't used your fame and
wealth to flee the States. My suggestion a mail in
(12:28):
contest to win a small island country. Thanks Thomas. Oh,
we gotta tabulate the scores here. We got quite a
bit of entrance. This is gonna be a tough one
this year, Tina. I think we could just pull the
name out of the hat like we always now, we're
(12:51):
not gonna do it like that. Okay, We're gonna read
each piece of mail like we agreed. All right, Tommy,
We're gonna find out who want Tommy. We appreciate the
enthusias YSM, but who died? Made you? Fu? Face? Okay,
all right, all right, welcome everyone to the funeral of
the former face. He had a good life, he had
(13:14):
a strong life, but he's no longer with us. I'm
so sorry for your loss. I'm so sorry for your loss.
How did he die? That's the question put me. He
died at first in Maine, that part. Then I guess
there really no more. That's just I don't care about
(13:37):
how if I know where? You know what I'm saying.
I love him justin where are my stamps? I didn't
put him anywhere? I don't steal. Still, that's right. You
stole one time. What happened to you? I beat that booty?
(13:59):
But did maybe did you mail it in? Did you
mail in our contest? Not yet, darling, But just get
the stamps and put it on the least in. I didn't.
I didn't steal them. I don't steal. What happened last time?
You stole? My booty got beated. Your booty got beated.
(14:21):
That's right now, listen, I want to get us out
of this small town and I want to give us
a small country island, small island country. Do you understand
what I'm doing this for the family, Teresa? But why
don't you did a stamp? That just I don't know.
Talk to your father the way you would talk to
him if you respected him. Did you take his stamps? Uh? Sir,
(14:46):
Mr President Um, your honor, your honor, your majesty. I
don't I don't steal. I don't steal, but I did
eat the stamp. They do only mean one thing. Sincerely,
Mama's gonna have to go inside your elementary canal and
find that staff elementary get into my canal. Rick, thank
(15:12):
you for trying to help me sell my Island. I
appreciate it very much. How is the early bids calling? Well?
Dr Moreau, things are looking good. Um, right now we
have about two to three letters. They're coming in every hour,
seventh letter to the seventh letter. We ever got you
(15:36):
said they were colling in. Just go find that seventh letter,
give me, give me one second, doctor again, I'm gonna
eat this cheese SNS on a lunch break. And I no, no,
I'm stilling my lunch break. I was about to say,
don't you don't starve me on my lunch break. You're
(15:57):
gonna eat that? If you're talking shahn need it. We
have to listen to boundaries because John can't protect them himself.
God damn leopard. People listen to me. Okay, we need
to find the seventh letter, okay, or what does that mean? What?
You could pick a letter? Just tell them the seventh letter.
(16:18):
Rich with you. I am half docks and okay, I
am loyalty built in. Do you understand that? All right?
And we are Okay, we're people, so we're very efficient.
We know how this works. We're going in the letter. Okay,
I'm not I'm not gonna seven here seventh one? Are
you happy. Can I eat that sandwich? You have a
(16:41):
bite of that sandwich? I'm on my lunch. Say what
does it say? It says um, It doesn't say anything
is question, what does it mean that? Well, I understood that.
I okay. Well it was like a child wrote a
(17:01):
doctor and he says, uh, here to whom it's concerned.
I would love to win this small island. My name
is Diana, like the deceased princess. But I am not
a princess. I am an orphan, and I live underneath
(17:21):
the vacuum store. And then we only but I have
a radio and a policeman radio, and I used to
have a dog when it got twisted, so that happens,
and it just goes on and on like that. So
messed up, little girl. Let's see if we can't get
the island to her. Diane, Diane, Diane, it's me. It's
(17:45):
me from the new owner of the pet store. There's
a lot like the deceased princess, I never read the
last syllable of anyone's name. By the way, a letter
came to you today, address to this address. Well, where
is it? Can I help it? Yes, of course, here
(18:07):
it is. It's for you can you read it to me?
I like you've always better than mine. I suppose I
can read it if you'd like that, Diana. There it
is is as required by the decree that I made.
I doctor my row. Now give you a small island country.
(18:32):
Meet me at the corner of Second and Maine tomorrow
morning about this time. Signed Dr Moreau and the Leopard
and Doctor I don't understand. Hey, buddy, you're gonna have
to move your car. You can't have an idol here.
(18:52):
You understand what idle mean? What does idle mean? One
man's idol is another man's action. Well, come on, I'll
give a if you have frog or whatever. Okay, you
can't have your car here. You gotta move it, all right?
Why did your man you have big? Yeah, we're moving it.
But what's the big rush? What's the big You can't
park in this a loading onloading zone only. Okay, Yeah,
(19:14):
we're loaded loaded. We couldn't be more loaded. Yes, back
up with this, Mike. Are you on duty or not? No,
I'm not on duty, but I can call somebody. Uh actually, yeah,
I think these guys are yaked out of their mind. Yeah,
these are these are frogmen from the Island at Dr Moreau.
They don't come to the mainland that often, No, they don't.
(19:35):
There must be some kind of contest. I'm just just
picking up from context clues. Are you listening to what
I'm doing? Is this second straight? This? This is the the
second man? Yeah, hello, little kid? Yes, this this second
in Maine? Why did you change it? Pain, I'm just
(20:02):
tring to look a kid, rob nose, frob nose. I
hadn't thought that had pasta went one way, ended the
head past the other way? Uh huh? Twist it up.
You know we never caught that guy. You never caught
that guy that I heard your voice? You know that
(20:22):
guy still on the loose? Do you know that? Is
there a Diana here? That's right? Yes, I'm here to
take you to meet Dr Mareu, Dr Moreau. Please hop
on my back. Okay, that was like a worse man. Yeah,
(20:45):
what the hell was that? But look, you still got
to move this car, you understand, Teresa. Bring me the paper.
You can get the fucking paper yourself. Bitch. I don't
love you anymore, motherfucker daddy. You don't take that from her.
Somebody to give me the goddamn paper. I want to
(21:05):
see is. Don't give him the paper. Give it to
him right after I wipe my ass with it. How
about that one day? I'm sorry, but we're gonna have
to cut water and power. Hey, I told you I'm
good for next month. It is next month, and there's
nothing more money than you your five alright, alright, alright.
(21:27):
I have news paper right here, okay, and in it
says who won a small country? Small? Check it out?
Death a little girl? What a little girl? One? You
talking about? You? I don't even open the paper. Wipe
my ass with a little man? I read the paper
at five, Give me my ass, my wife's ass with this? Okay?
(21:50):
And then okay. So the concept for this show is right, Uh,
we follow the people who lost the contest just as
much as the people who want sure sure stories more interesting.
You're never going to run out of stories because thousands
(22:10):
upon thousands of people lost the contest, and they're desperate
and they're angry, and they would only enter if they
were desperate and angry but hopeful. Maybe their optimism is dead.
What happens next? I'm interested. We see what happens when
things don't go that way. Do we ever get a
chance to see her seeing that a doctor who's looking
at the lady with the newsprint in her ass from
getting in the paper. Is that a scene that I'd
(22:35):
be interested in seeing that. There's no bad ideas at
this point, isn't Teresa? Just sign in? Okay, the doctor
will see if you gotta sign in first. I'm a
little fucking uncomfortable. Can you sign my name for me? Okay,
we'll do Bitch, I'm sorry. He man, Hey, man, that's
a woman. That's a woman, right, that's a queen. Right,
(22:56):
that's a queen. Right, Damn bitch, you need to specd women. Man,
don't hit me. I like this guy. I like you.
I like not. I'm not just hitting you for you.
I'm I'm hitting you for all the women that you've
disgraced in the past. Man, respected woman, and respect your queen. Man,
that's a lot of women. I'm a fucking queen, and
(23:17):
I do have a newsprint stuck up my ass right now.
But on another day, I'd like to take you up
on any kind of offer you would ever make me service.
Very into your vibe. I'm very into your vibe in
the way you right, Aaron Fimpleman, Aaron Fimpleman. But what
(23:38):
I'm Aaron fimple Man. But I'll tell you what. Let
this lady go first, Let this queen go first, Let
this queen you. I'll go on and thank you. I've
been sanded enough. Aaron fimble Man. I'm gonna coming for
you as soon as this doctor this uh, this woman
has all the medical records of Aaron Fimpleman. So you
gotta figure this out. So was that the scene you
(24:01):
wanted to see? No very, I'm still laughing. I'm still
laughing at the part where she says, Fippleman, this is
the way she said. It makes me laugh. For that's
we can spin off into Aaron Fippleman. So we've got,
you know, contest, you know, running as the questioner. I mean,
we're gonna see scenes here. Why don't we see? Are
(24:24):
you a pig man? Uh? I'm going to call him
the general, but sure he's definitely part pig. I mean,
I'm John Madden here, and uh, what I want to
see is nineteen seventy two Steelers, okay against the two
thousand eight. Mr mad Men doesn't understand man doesn't think
(24:49):
if we have that, then I think say, yes, we
can do that. Yeah, yes, you need that sandwich or
please don't touch u. Mhich. Welcome to the island. Dr
Moreau will see you now, Little Diana. Thank you very
much to be here. I'm sure I love the coconuts.
(25:12):
See they left with people in the tweet. Where's this
magical creature? Diana? Um guilty uh Diana, welcome, Welcome to
paradise that is now yours. You have so many tubes
stuck in you. That's what keeps me able to speak
(25:32):
to you and see your beauty. Can I ask you
one question about the island? Yeah, now that it's yours
and all of the inhabitants are yours to look after,
will you allow me to stay on as a grounds keeper? Okay, yeah,
this don't new to me. I'm or friend. I lived
(25:54):
on a one room I mean, if you have a place,
you're comfortable staying here. Absolutely. I wasn't aware there's gonna
be so many, um you know, half animal people. It's
a scarier island than I imagine. As it turns out, Diana,
this is the central government of Beliefe. You don't have
to speak to them about what you want to do
(26:17):
with the island. As well as the amount of back
tuxes that need to be paid. Okay, different, Diana, this
is the Advicultural department. Be here. I was waiting for
three hours and I think I got the reforms right
this time. Very good, very good. Okay, Diana. Those men
(26:39):
or not from police. I don't know why they are from,
but I do do not have a belize in accents
like I do. I want to go back to my
whole in the car, part of the CIA. Get in
the car now. Okay, then you were part of a
massive government conspiracy cover up slash big time. Oh scary times.
(27:04):
Come with me. Don't trust that man. Listen. If you
want to go back to where you were from, say
it three times fast. The Barstow vacuum store under these
barst of vacuum? Who needs a vacuum? Who needs a vacuum? Yeah?
(27:28):
I got but Kirby, it needs to be fixed. All right? Then? Hey,
little girl, what did you? What did you suddenly? Oh
my goodness is that I portn't here. I had these forms.
So I need to get to the Afrid Cultural Department
because I think I'm gonna be in trouble if I
don't turn the forms, then you won't need those forms here,
(27:51):
little girl, everything's much easier. You're a frog man from
the traffic champ. What's that over there? I I don't
think we have the budget to do any of this,
but we're really looking at actual time temporal travel here.
We really want to do literally, I think that's the
(28:11):
only way it works. If we can actually we have
a time continuum, we're able to call a time out.
I'm literally thank you for putting us. Well, that's good,
We're gonna do that. He Theresa, how are you feeling?
(28:31):
How's your butt? My asshole is uh? You know, there's
some vowels that are apparently not going to be going anywhere.
So look, I want to what I want to apologize.
First of all, that guy beat the shift out of
me in that waiting room. Yeah, when I was choking
(28:51):
on my own blood. I know. I got some other
good news. I got a letter. Wait, what was the
first good news? Now that's good news. So the other
good news is turns out that little orphan couldn't couldn't
manage the island, and it looks like, oh my fucking god,
(29:14):
you're kidding me. We got the island, baby, we got
the baby. I love you that's the twist. That's why
we've been focusing on these fucking people the entire time.
They get the island, people from the people from Jersey
get the islands. They do why they of the series
(29:37):
and that scene to everybody has seen to Bayonne three
comes from Patron V I. P. Who wrote nature documentary
Mating Habits of the Elusive Bridge Troll. If you just
(30:00):
follow me, So if you notice this stone arch bridge
right here, can we take pictures along the way? The
flash is going to hurt the stone, So no, no
flash photography and no. Yeah, well, I mean i'd say
be very careful because because the charcoal might scare the stone. Yes,
(30:21):
we have a timid question, Yes, yeah, yeah, I just
wanted is it okay if I remember this experience. I mean,
I would really caution against that having these kind of
jumps in time back to the stone might scare the stone.
Completely understood, completely, So I'm putting I'm putting my pencil
little back in its holster. Can we look at the stone?
(30:43):
I would just give it a line. I'd actually prefer
if everyone could just look at the reflection in the
water of the stone. Being directly at the stone scare
the stone. Stay it with me, now, it might stone
should have been more clearly, should have been more clearly. Alright,
so just scare of the stone, scares the stone? Should
we stop saying the stone? Just stop saying that. So
(31:09):
this story, I said, so, yeah, those are the uh,
those are the humans. I thought i'd bring you on
this first date till we could watch the humans try
to look at the stone and stuff from under the
under the bridge. You're so pretty. I'm just nervous. I'm sorry,
you're pretty, and I'm nervous control i've ever seen. If
I could say that, you're so you're beautiful. My dad
(31:33):
really wants me to marry a troll. I know, because
you know, because I'm a troll. I know, I know,
but I found so that's why that's why he set
us up. Okay, you're very nice for add him on
to interrupt your date. But did somebody orders sweet tea
and then did someone else order mushroom gravy with a straw?
(31:54):
That's us. Yeah, it was the mushroom cravy. Here's your
mushroom gravy with a straw. I'm and here's your sweet
By the way, I've seen a lot of troll couples
in the past. You two are literally the most adorable
troll couples I've ever seen. If I wouldn't even wait
for marriage, I would start making sweet love now, not
(32:14):
a couple of just out for some some mushroom gradation.
I've already walked away from your table. So what do
you what do you? What do you mean? You are
you not looking to marry a troll? Look? I come
from a very traditionalist troll family, you know. Uh, they
just they want to keep it, you know, within the species.
(32:35):
And so what's the issue? God damn it. We we
come from the bloodline of Grendel. Do you understand that
we're not just gonna you're just gonna get together with
some goddamn troll und read the bridge, all right, at honey.
So I'm not troll enough. I'm not troll enough. That's
(32:56):
what you're saying. Not for them or for me. It's
very confused. Clarify, don't call me by my full name,
just Claire. Look my handy. I mean, if you really
want to get up into the echelon of the trolls, man,
you gotta really just you gotta spote it up. You're
(33:16):
too much of a bridge troll. You understand. I'm I'm
proud of being a bridge troll man. You should, but
unless you want to get up there in that good stock,
I mean, these are cave trolls. These are mountain trolls.
You know what I mean? How do I? What do
I do? Why do I do it? Number one? I mean,
you gotta you gotta clothe yourself. Can I just stop
(33:36):
you too for a second. I just want to jump
in with some quick notes. Uh, the first fellow there
with the squinty eyes, you've committed to this character, and
I hope the other students say this. You've committed to
this character to the point where you're making a face
to help sell who this person is and what they think.
Whereas actor number two, you're you're very intuitive. He's doing that,
(34:03):
he's doing that, but you're doing that well. I mean,
I I did inject myself with troll blood, so I
I'm more of like a a natural actor. I don't
really caricature it up upon and I don't do a
lot of voices, accents, faces, you know, I'm just very
straight ahead, ask questions and yes, Larry, from what I understand,
(34:27):
most documentaries are not made by actors. It's the actual
people themselves, and America is clamoring for the mating habits
of the elusive troll. But you thought you would bring
me something with very wonderful actors pretending to be trouths.
I am, I am. I painting the picture correctly with
(34:49):
me to see. I think the idea was to give
you a taste, and I've said, you've done it a
great explanation. So wait, you're telling me you're not a troll.
I'm I'm an actor. Um. I wondered why you were
only six ft tall? Yeah, yeah, I mean I know
(35:13):
that bridge trolls are smaller than us mountain trolls. But
and why is there a camera crew here? Well they're
doing just just it's a concept, proof of concept. But look, Claire,
here's a proof of concept. I'm a troll. Talk to
me like at all I really want to tell you, Claire,
is that I actually genuinely have feelings for you. Now? Really,
(35:38):
how do I know this isn't part of your reality show?
I'm not that good of an actor, David. Thank you
for meeting me here. Um, yes, I'll have a grenadine.
Did you mount sweet? Didnt Sweet? Tea with it or
mushroom g just a grenadine, thank you. It tastes. I
don't want to argue with you, sir, but it tasted
a lot bad. It was sweet tea and or a
(35:59):
mushroom grad you this troll just do a grenadine. We'll see.
But the hell was what do they mean by will
see about? Listen? David? I uh, I love what you're
doing here. We're getting into into the trolls and I
I'm working with the CIA right now, and I need
you to I need you to kill that troll. Are
you allowed to tell me you're working with the CIA?
(36:21):
That seems like something people don't tell each David. Is
your acting teacher that he brought along? Yeah, not supposed
to chime in, he'said, he's I mean, another teacher. He's
just steps over that line occasionally. Okay, Well, you know
what I'm ever to pay. I'm just scared to pay
attention to interrupt, that's what. That's fine. Look, look, David,
(36:43):
you need to hear this. You have to take that
troll out, and then you got to find where the
family of those trolls are and take them out too.
I don't want to interrupt. I'm sorry. I know you'll
learned my table, but it would mean a lot to
Marlene if you'll would just order one mushroom guy, babe,
the straw I want done done well? He did. She
was really hard selling it, and she was really sad
(37:04):
about y'all just brushing her off, and she's worked hard
and I didn't. Then you just said just a gritted thing.
And I know this isn't my table, and I can't
oppause it would mean a lot to her. Okay, back,
it mean a lot to me if I just had
a I can't hear you, Claire. I know it's late.
I just I wanted to see your face one more time.
(37:27):
Thank thanks for coming to my cave. Hey, who's there?
You've you've awakened mama troll. Oh you know what, I
think it would be a nice time to meet her.
Use don't use the microphone. Now, don't dress my mama, Papa.
(37:47):
This is this is David. Oh this was a fucking
a cave. Prow Well, he said, he was a little
pits lance of a troll of people role. But sixty
if human that is is wrong, that's gotta snipper on him.
(38:13):
He loves me, I love I smell a human who doesn't,
who doesn't make the right choices in a acting. My
dad has a very precisely well, then I think this
would be a good time to discuss the thin line
between caricature and character, Sir, go on, So some people
(38:37):
get you know a lot of accolades for for works
that I feel like are just over the top. Doesn't
What do you want to name us firm graving? Yes? Please,
no job for me? Go on, David can be honest
with me. Are you ci A, because you have to
tell me if you are. Yeah, she knows, she knows.
(39:01):
They all know. I'm here. I'm stop talking into your shoulder. Okay,
whats he she I ain't. No. Traditionally eat your arms
and then we'd eat your legs and leave your tors
over there to ferment. Wait second, I thought he was
a barstow your c I A C I A. Oh
(39:24):
you're not repped. I'm I'm part of the new Faces.
Um right now, I'm your question, he said, Are you so?
I know I'm not wrapped, but I'm eligible eligible. We
don't care about your show kite repped in half. Now clarify,
(39:48):
this was just moments before your mother and father were
shot to pieces by the human being. But you said
one line that day that is stuck in twill history forever.
You were about to get ripped in half? Two things,
what was going through your mind at that moment? And
(40:11):
the second thing at that moment, what was going through
your mind? Well, thank you Mary for asking um the
I mean, trolls very naturally do plays on words without
thinking about it very much, And that's well written. Well,
getting rapped was out there. It was just it was
out there, so I think that was kind of placed
(40:33):
in my head. And I also imagined my father, who
who hates humans with a passion, literally pulling David's body
apart and ripping him in half. And did this happen?
Did your father with David in half? That? No, he
was killed by the government before he had a chance
(40:53):
to rip David in half. By the c I think
the CIA and the CIA were involved. We'll be right
back after this commercial. Hi, my name is David Van Eyes.
I will be doing a scene from um ericsens. Let's
just do that again, all right, because I have to
(41:14):
send this in and I just I want you to
look like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I want you to be
the best you cand So it's okay, it's nervous, a
big it's a big part, you know what I mean,
it's huge. A lot of eyes are gonna see this.
And I don't mean to freak you out, don't mean
to get you all answing the pants. You're making you
shoot out of your eyes. Okay, What I want you
to do is I want you to focus on just
deliver this as Hey, Michael, you've been telling the actors
(41:36):
you don't want them to shoot out of their eyes
a lot lately, which, first of all, I totally respect.
There's an acting coach right near Barstow and he's suggesting
that actors actually do start to to shoot out of
their eyes. He's saying, it really brings up the pathos.
(41:57):
I don't know if that means anything to you. I
don't want to tell you how to do your job.
That's not what I'm here for. Well that's what I'm hearing.
Are you serious? Then? Yeah? You know what. I'm already
I'm already gone, I'm already walking away. Well I'm gonna
follow you. No, please go, Paul. I mean, I'm literally
trying to get away from you. So I'm gonna follow
(42:19):
you because you cannot come in. David. It's clarify. I
ripped the roof off of your your apartment building to
talk to you. Shit. Look, yeah, well I I know
that the whole thing was a set up. Okay, that
was just something you were doing for TV, and that
that you had my parents killed by the US government.
(42:39):
And I'm now the last of my kind, I'm the
last mountain troll. Okay. But I felt like what we
had was real. I love you. The ship's word from
David's eyes that day like chip had never poured from
a man's eyes before. Oh God, what has happen? Is
(43:02):
this something that you humans do that is disgusting? And
I drink gravy out of a straw? Clarify? Okay, Aaron
Finmpleman will see you in a minute. Uh, We're gonna
see you in a minute. David Ramona, do you mire
you here? David Ramon? Oh sorry, I'm David Ramona. David
(43:27):
Van Eyes, Oh, David van Eyes is what I had
my David David van Eyes, why don't you come with
me here? Okay? And now part of me? Why don't
you just sitting here so you don't need David m
I need you to sit down and shut the funk up. Okay,
on the right sheet, I think everybody, I mean, David
van Eys, alrighty, shut the funk up, all right. I've
(43:47):
been waiting for now, and you're gonna wait longer quickly.
That's no way to talk to a queen. Yes, David,
how are you? Wow? Just looking at your eyes right now?
They are infected. Uh that is heavy, doctor, Doctor, get
(44:12):
it under control. Get back in the waiting room for
a long time. I could do your job. I could
do this. Get the fuck back in the ship in
his eyes? Shame on, doctor, Oh you know my job.
Funny is hell? I get to see funny shit. Can
(44:32):
you please see me next? Look, you gotta you gotta
get a paper cuts in your butt hole. Okay, you
gotta see a forensic proctologist. That's just the fact. I
can only help you so far. Okay, I can't help
you all the asshole your eyes, David, alright, So what
seems to be the problem me to take a look
at the church here? Oh oh, well, you came to
(44:55):
the forensic specialists for just in time, it seems. Uh.
Tell me about your symptoms. Um, I guess it's it's
it's a small they're small cuts, but they're very painful.
And if you looked at them, you'd say, those are
so small. And I know they are small, but they
are so they're maddeningly painful. Um. And there's a series
(45:18):
of them, and they are, um, you know, up up
my asshole and and um, out of out of my
personal view, I see them go again and I don't
see any exit. So it's a series of tiny, tiny
cuts that are just given me hell and any inclination whatsoever.
How this occurred, Well, I have a cousin and um,
(45:42):
she right, and she said her you know, on again
off husband had shoved newspaper up her ass. But then
they they had this you know, notoriously tragic marriage, and
then things turned around for them. So I told Greg,
Greg's my partner. I said, well, why not, what's the
worst that could have? And then I have it's very
it's very bad. Oh So it was volunteer, it was,
(46:06):
I mean, it wasn't. It wasn't. Huh. I'm gonna put yes, Um, okay,
now I know what you're thinking. You The main thrust
of the story was this love story between this human
and this fifty footroll woman. But the Aaron Templeman show
is going to take left turns like that. Templeman himself
is going to be a very small part of the show.
(46:28):
And Templeman, if if I'm not mistaken, he really cares
that women are treated properly like queens, like queens queens
on the Templeman Bible. I mean that. That's that's his
main characters tread absolutely now and Alreight Finkel was a kicker.
I love your game, hate hate having you heard the
(46:48):
states of the game, hate the player of the game.
I'm playing for the Chicago Bears in nineteen forty and
I was I don't know anything, but that's for not right.
And that's our show for today. Who baby what rails?
(47:11):
Didn't even see him. Let's thank everyone first and foremost
Happy New Year to each of you, and thank you
so much for joining us in this glorious new year.
And let's say thank you first to Mr Christo Verona. Hey,
thank you, Happy New Year, everybody. I love you guys
so much. Recently, on one of my my improv workshops
I had that you can find out all about it.
(47:34):
Chris dash dot com and gentlemen, listen to the show
by his friend the gift of my workshop, and he came.
It was McCoy body friend, Hide and hide. It was fantastic.
We had so much fun. So you know you want
to go a workshop. Come over to Chris dash dot com.
Check out those workshops. Baby, could also be a gift.
Could also be a gift. Love that. Happy to year, everybody,
(47:57):
the gift that keeps on giving. I'm gonna say, all right,
looks like us, thank you, Happy new year to you
and the family. Let us be a better year. Yeah,
let it be a better year. Glad to be ringing
it in. Let's keep our wits about us and keep
(48:17):
making good decisions if we are. Thank you for that,
and everyone go to Dona better dot com color to
check out marvelous events coming up immediately. Thank you, you,
bet you. Gary Anthony Williams, thank you so much as well.
Thank you guys, and I gotta tell you much like Yeah,
(48:38):
nothing could go wrong in the year. This is our year.
No going sideways. If anybody needs anything, they don't even
need to do direct message me on instead Gary Anthony
Williams or Twitter at Gary A. Williams. If you need
any money, any of that stuff, just put it right
out there, and I'm there is no way I won't
(49:01):
deliver on everybody's financial needs. A lot of people not
our gear bear Craig Kakowski, thank you also so damn much,
and happy New Year to you and always a pleasure.
Happy new Year. Just want to give a shout out
to The Alchemy, that podcast that I've pledged to listen
to one episode that reviews two episodes that I was
(49:23):
not in. That's the greatest. And uh, folks, check out
the Twelve Days of Christ Now Craigslist. Craigslist podcast. You
can follow us on SoundCloud and iTunes and all those
normal podcasting places, or follow us at Craigslist, pea cast
(49:44):
on Twitter. Beautiful and lastly, but certainly leastly, Jimmy mull doone. Hello, Yeah,
thank you so much for being here today. Joseph Kerman,
it was a pleasure. It was a blast. Okay, by
the way, when the fans started hashed hag like fun
Joey right, I mean, I mean, what am I gonna do?
Right Well, I'm am I going to hire a private
(50:06):
investigor to find these people, you know what I mean?
Am I going to do that. There, Am I going
to rent out apartments in different homes next to where
they are and start tapping? Am I going to do that?
That's an option? Oh? What am I gonna do? Huh? Okay, Oh,
just just say you know, everyone gets a happy dude,
(50:27):
Everyone gets a happy New Year. No one gott a
hashtag fuck Joey. No, it's a hashtag you do. But yeah,
but I'm not saying it's a good thing. I must
saying that one in my book. It's one your book.
Any publicity is good publicity, Joey. That's not true. People
start saying I'm a witch. That's bad publicity for me.
I can't have that. But I think you can have
a little and you did, and we appreciate you being
(50:49):
such a big big boy. Yeah that's right. And let's
thank a producer and engineering the stars. Fine folks that
I heart media. Happy New Year. This is your host,
Kevin Parks saying thank you so very damn much for
tuning us in and being a part of the show.
Stay involved right to us at your name here, Welcome
(51:10):
to this dot com and just be kind to each
other please and until next time. Remember oh yeah,
Alchemy This News
Host
Kevin Pollak
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