New medicine turns people into senior citizens...

New medicine turns people into senior citizens.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This I am
your n Yes, yes that Kevin. Oh. I used to
love sleeping in these days, I said, and learned to
make sure I'm out of bed usually by eight am.
When I get up earlier and start getting shipped done,

(00:22):
it feels like stolen time. I love it, so clearly
I should do that more often. What but oh yeah, no,
I don't know what train this is, but I digress.
Let's meet Kamis shall me no particular order. Let's welcome
Chris Alvarado Big lots favorite item purchased at Costco recently,
other than pumpkin pie. I've been going crazy on these

(00:50):
frozen noodles. I've been buying there and six pack of this,
these ramen noodles. Um, I'm in a real noodle kick
right now, everybody, And I'm going fucking crazy with these noodles.
The frozen ones almost like a chow maane. I love that.

(01:10):
The ramen, well it's romen, you know, but just high
quality already. Yeah, shouldn't got a little garlic, got some onions,
got little powders like that. It comes with the hot sauce.
But I don't, I don't use the hot toask because
my my dog likes the noodle every now and then
and so and so, so I don't know's the middles anymore?

(01:34):
No chocolate either, No chocolates right on the package comes
with should already And now our weekly does some crank
Akowski cocow. How were your skills in math class as
a youngster? Surprisingly good? I got a five on the
ap calculus test, so I had eight uh college credits

(01:57):
before coming out of high school. Uh. From calculus, I
got an a intrigge uh. And then I took linear
algebra in college and I gotta be uh. And then
I took Multi variable calc and got a D. And
I have not thought about maths like I hit a

(02:20):
wall of like what my level of comprehension was? That
is kind of the perfect rundown. Hey, there's a tool
sing ludo ganness. What was a childhood habit? What I
had a friend in our childhood who would talk backwards,
loved sounding out people's ship backwards and names, and hence,

(02:42):
what was the childhood habit that was tough to break
or lingers to this day? Oh man um cheeze child habit?
Uh don't remember anything that from childhood to present day. Uh.
I did have an answer for for Craig's question. Though

(03:03):
I love math. UH crushed it throughout UH school in college,
I have a minor UH in accounting, and uh yeah
that was I remember. I would go if I didn't
sunk up the curve, I was pissed because I was like,
I got a hundred on that test, so there should
be no curve. And then it would be like, oh,

(03:24):
there's a curve or four points. I'm like, what the
fun I don't even know what that means. Sunk up
the curve. So if if the if the high score
on the on the test was then the teacher would
maybe give a five point curve to make and then
but if I got a flat out hundred, it was possible,
so no one got a curve. Speaking another language, I

(03:50):
did killer in third grade, and multiplications crushed the class.
That's memorization. That is memorization. Yeah. And last, but no
wooden hangers for you. If you think him leaves, it's
Joey Greer staining king. Tell us about the third time

(04:11):
you accidentally killed someone. Holy sh it, there's so many
third time Uh got it? Yeah, So I've chartered this
fishing vessel. It's called Queen of the Squeams, and we're
going deep see, and we're looking to get marlin or
whatever you know, dorato and so well, they're called my

(04:33):
mahi mahi dolphin, but it's you know, so I get
I get about, let me bee like sixty miles out,
and I realized that I have accidentally stabbed one of
the crewm in the leg about fifty miles back. Okay,

(04:53):
so they've been stabbing the leg for fifty miles. I
didn't I don't remember what happened. Apparently I took when
you get he's sick, they give you these like that
you have either a little patch, but you should have
to take like a pill like I see sickness pill.
When you should give you a little patch. Why did
you point to your penis because you put it there.
You put it on the tip of your pee. So

(05:14):
you're supposed to take it like and like way before
you're supposed to get on as like any drug to
take effect. But me being just like you know, who
gives a ship, I took it right as I got
on the boat. And apparently that made me really loopy
and stabby, and I got into the crew member and
then they detained me and they were holding me down
to the apparently like a break or something. I broke
out come and deered the vessel. Used that boat to

(05:38):
go on a sixteen month pirating spree. I was going
just around the coast and just like kind of attacking
small towns and villages in Boston in Virginia. I am
asked a wealth of something over two d and fifty
million dollars in today's money. And I all of our

(06:01):
c suggestions are gathered from your listener emails or patron
v I p s. How's up? You want to become
a patron supporter of the show. That would be fantastic,
and I'll tell you what you can look forward to.
How about some exclusive content like standalone bonus scenes that
we do just for you, or video recording of what's
happening right now? You get to see the weird ship
that Joey puts on using the Internet from his zoom hole.

(06:27):
Head on over to patron dot com slash alchemy this
if you want to suggest a scene via email, fantastic
alchemy this email and gmail dot com. That's alchemy. Seen
one comes from listener Nope, patron v I P. Patrick C.
Who wrote Hey alchemy this love having Kevin Beck scene
suggesting a new medicine is making life a lot better

(06:48):
for many. However, some people experience an odd side effect.
It turns them into senior citizens. Keep up the good word. Well,
how does the preliminary data on our I'm a little
did you take another vaccine? I took another vaccine, and

(07:11):
I gotta be honest. Yeah, it's a little tired. Well,
six boosters is a lot. This is a lot. Yeah,
I should have done them all in quick succession. I
feel like I should just spaced them out. And now
I'm kind of freak speaking of do you watch show
Succession sixth session? Yeah? Succession? Yeah? I watched Succession. What

(07:32):
I just love it. I'll mean too. It's all about
these sessions where people are just sick as hell, you know.
And today today, in this case, I have the data
or data? Nice? Nice, I'm gonna hand you each hold on?

(07:52):
Is this data or data? Man? You each a folder
of information? This is data or data? What's love? Older?
You will find that we have indeed invented a new medication.
What are you talking about? So this is new data? Yeah?

(08:14):
One pill cures it all. So what's data? You heard
him say yes to dad when you say cures it all?
Could you be more specific? Sorry? Sure, get me an ailment. Umu,
you're on a You're on a too many boxes, dick vel.

(08:42):
So I saw that pharmaceutical ad that said ask your
doctor about cur aliah and uh so that's why I'm here.
I'm supposed to ask you about cure aliyah. Jeff, do
you have any symptoms of anything right now? Um? I
mean sometimes I get a stomach thing. Uh, I have
an on and off thing with gall bladder. My knee

(09:04):
hurts a little bit. Okay, all right, yeah, because we
try to save the appointments for people who have stuff
going on. Well, I mean, the only way to get
in here was to make an appointment. So and the
the ad said ask your doctor about cure aliya. Okay, yeah,
we'll talk about curalia. Um. So I don't think you're
right for it, um because we do have you only

(09:27):
you're a doctor who doesn't want to give drudge to people.
So I'm just saying you're because you're on salis, on
a heavy dosage of silis. I don't I'm taking like, yeah,
if you want to stop the scale list, then I
can give you the curality okay, but the curalita should
help with the same issue, so it will solve that. Honey. Listen,

(09:53):
I'm impressed. I've told my girlfriends they're impressed too. But
seventeen days of a owner, he's getting weird. So I'm
just curious. Did you, in fact go to the doctor
to discuss. He told me I could either I can't.
I can't take the cellist with the currelia guest because

(10:16):
it interacts. Maybe, so he made me choose, and please
tell me you took the curl I'm no, I'm sticking
with the c Elie. Okay. It's just everyone has their sides, Okay,
this is for curalitys all right. This is just like
really simple. We're gonna go in there with mostly happy faces,
all right. And again, remember this is for the campaign,

(10:37):
so this is a big deal, alright, So just give
it your best shot, all right. So lets just go
through the list here, But what is your role here?
I'm actually one of the people auditioning, so I just
want to get everyone on the same page. Have a
good time here, and I don't think anyone was stepping up.
So that's kind of what I'm doing here because i'm
one of the my name is, my name is Terry,
and I'm the director. So okay, okay, so see initiative Terry.

(11:01):
I'm sorry, you see initiative Terry. Okay, that's how you
see it. And that's all right, everybody. Um, this is
for curality, not curalis. Oh first mistake, make sure no
one does in the room. What is your name? My name? Yes,
your name, My name is Martin Salomon asked to see

(11:26):
his driver's license. Serve. That's absolutely not his name. That's
my stage name. That's my fucking stage name, you piece
of ship. Okay, Mr Saloman, just calm down. First of all,
thank you. All right, Now, let me see your I
D you got? You saw that right? What do you
I mean? That was even? Did you just walk in

(11:47):
here off the street? You're weird. Anybody can walk in here, asshole?
I don't think so, No, sir, you know what I'm
gonna ask you, Frank, can you get this guy out
of here? Wait? What is going on here? Okay? I'm
supposed to be doing this to curality. Have the guy
hold on a second. I can do what I can
do whatever I can, Doctor Pepper. All right, gentlemen, doctors,

(12:09):
I'm back with some more info. May Shong have a
question if you take the medicine? Uh, this ship, holy shit,

(12:30):
Holy sh it. We're just researchers, we're not doctor doctors. Guy,
another head coming out of seeing this in the trials
all the time? What coming out of his shoulder? The
data is saying this right, this is normal, said he

(12:51):
said this gentleman here though he's having a hard time
getting on his thoughts, it's perfectly healthy. I don't think
that's healthy me or him? Me? Who you babe? What

(13:11):
do you mean that you and your girlfriend's had a
curreality a party? Well, you know, listen, I gotta do
what I gotta do, apparently because you and Captain Bones
have to do what you have to do. You you've
aged like forty forty years in an hour. What's your point?

(13:33):
I don't want to fuck you with. Everyone's gonna he said,
what do you what the fun? He said, what do
you say? She's trying to say it? He does, ridiculous.

(14:02):
I've got a round of drinks, uh coming? Did you
want to did you want to look at the media down? Teenager? Oh?
This's my first day. Uh oh, but I'm I'm taking
care of Yeah, Marvin, can you come into my office
for a second. Uh, you're just not hitting the tables

(14:25):
fast enough and the turnover is just not what we're
really looking for. So I don't know if you're the
right fit here at TOTS. Yeah. I don't know, honey.
I've asked for some fresh tortillas like six fucking times.
Maybe Gramps can get the tortillas. At some point. I
have all, I mean all the noise of the restaurants

(14:45):
pipe into my room here. So yeah, I don't know.
Why Why would you do that? So I know what's
going on, Marvin, Okay, that's why I do that. I
don't believe in cameras, but I believe in sound, all right.
I believe in sound retains better. I think that I'm talking.
Teenager's name was Marvin. I'm trying to save up money
for college, all right. I'm a senior in high school

(15:07):
and I need a job. Well, Marvin, I appreciate the
pursuit of knowledge, but I mean, you're old. I'm seventeen
years old. Goddamnit. Okay, everybody, I'm holding this press, say
answer your questions. I know there's a lot of questions
out there. Yes, come on, give them to me. I'm
ready to go. Question question, question, question, Uh, the issue

(15:29):
with people being on boxes? Would that be solved with
the medication. I know a lot of individuals have been
on top of boxes and still say that they're on
top of boxes. Any information about the dat on that, uh?
Of course, yes, of course. Uh yeah. Here's my my
question that we're not gonna get. Go ahead, question heralds

(15:49):
with teen Weekly. Just know if if if, if, the
if the boom listen to everybody here. I'm gonna address
the concern. Okay, I'll address the concern. He's not taking
the medicine. He's not taking the medicine. He's young, I'm

(16:09):
still because I'm not I'm not sick. Here's the question.
What's going on? I want to pose this question to
all of humanity. Can we get all the cameras on me? Please,
all the cameras. I'm talking your phones. Go get him out, everybody.
Do you have a question here that you're question Give

(16:33):
me the cameras. Okay, would you rather be young and
sick or would you rather be healthy and old? Thank
you so much, everybody have a great healthy you're getting healthy, Steve,
get these boxes out of our house. Why do you
have sobody? But why are you on top of you?
I'm sick, all right, Steve, it's in your head. Just

(16:57):
take the and it's a real man, all right. I'm
on top of all these boxes. I know I can't
get to the kitchen. Yes, everyone's affected by my illness.
Did you talk to your doctor? Yeah? I talked to
my doctor. You know what he said, just step down,
just take any and I quote, just take a fucking

(17:17):
step down. Did you trust? And he said, did you
try that? Yeah? And then I felt my ankle shatter.
But it's okay, it didn't but I felt it what
I just I felt? Don't diagnose yourself. Just who else
is gonna diagnosis? Everyone's taking that guy damned cure al

(17:38):
thing and everyone's getting fine. But me. My friend Stephanie's
a doctor. She'll come over and she'll take a look.
We'll see, we'll see. Don't don't yell at me from
up there now. Marvin, I don't know how you did it,
but you got a one on one meeting with me,
the creator of culia. Well, what what what? What's the

(18:03):
deal with this this drug? Yeah, yeah, good question. Don't
you feel good? I suppose how I get fired from totin? Nos?
What came first? The frozen baggages? Over the restaurant? Nor there?

(18:25):
It's a restaurant based on the frozen food? Marvin? Is
it right? Marvin? How your sinuses? Well there pretty clear? Yeah? Yeah,
any joint pain. I know you had a shoulder issue.
I used to, but you know if we're from playing lacrosse.

(18:47):
But no, I feel better now and I understand you're
on ten milligrams of Karelia right now for day? Yes?
Is that the right? Does I think you could do more?
I think you could feel even better? Why am I
so fucking old? And that is see seemed too comes

(19:12):
from from listener and house favorite Kristen Kelly, who wrote,
do you improvisers ever get yourselves into trouble? By yes?
Anning when you really shouldn't, Like say, someone asked, honey,
do you want to watch my one hundred favorite movies
with me and then do a podcast about it? I
see where that's going. Wow, imagine that were to happen.

(19:37):
Kevin Howards London, Um it seemed suggestion you're podcasters recording
an episode, but they have to keep stop stopping to
read ads, much to everyone's annoying. That's really where the
core of it is now, I mean, I get it,
we've all seen those episodes on that but Christian, Yeah,

(19:57):
is that a sweater or like a jacket? On me?
It's a it's a sweater jacket. It's a knit jacket.
It looks great. Yeah. I appreciate that. You look great.
You look younger. I feel I feel younger. I'm off
all meds and it's d aged me. No all meds?

(20:22):
What about? What about well nuts? Alright, guys, Hey, so
we're gonna start recording the episode. Now, you guys have
gotten talk to each other. You're a little warmed up. Now.
We're so happy to have you. I'm the engineer here. Um. Yeah,
it's a really exciting episode for us. We want to
know you're right. Yeah, I just not sleeping. Well, what's

(20:44):
going on? I got off all medications and I'm sleeping great?
You know what maybe we should talk about on the podcast.
All right, Dan, you have your copy in front of you,
right the intro. You're ready to go. What's causing the
non sleep? Ah? Stress? I'm sure before you go to
oh no, no, not much tea, water, soda. So make

(21:06):
sure to keep your mics pretty close to your mouths.
Like I said, um, I can adjust levels while we're recording. Um,
tea and water A kind of the same thing about episode,
so really really play that up here he goes. Here
comes the intrance. Oh Knowledge, Podcast Knowledge. Welcome back to

(21:28):
podcast Knowledge. We give you every bit of knowledge from
every podcast available, tips and tricks as well as tips
and dips. I'm your host, Gary Anthony Williams. Always with
the love of my life. When you've got to travel,
travel fast travel now with travel card horny. Can we

(21:52):
just not argue? Just get to the party? All right?
All right, what's the product? Can we just listen? I
mean I thought we were having a discussion about your mother? Yeah,
I feel like car time. Sometimes it's just like you'd
rather listen to strangers make each other laugh, not with

(22:13):
strangers having a conversation about me. Sorry, mother, Am I
a burden? Yes? Can we just let's cut Everyone loves
podcast podcast? Thank you mamselves all the knowledge from every
other podcast and puts it in one convenient package. You've

(22:37):
created a Mama bird. Congratulations, it's podcast Knowledge dam welcome back.
Thank you to our advertisers at Amazon Sandals. If you're
looking for sandals on Amazon dot com, just typing sandals
in the search bar and make sure it's goes they're
looking there. All right, let's let's get back to it now.
I know the other podcast that we've just been doing

(22:58):
on those sandals. Let me turn it down. What comfortable sandals?
She wants the sandals? Smart guy, Honey, you know when
you know it's terrific. What's the search bar? Go, mom,
I'll look it up. I'll look up the sandals and
I'll show you some images and but I prefer if
you try them on. So that's why I don't like, Hey,

(23:22):
Grant storry to bust into the engineering room. But uh,
we're gonna need you to stay a couple of hours
extra just to help out with some of the other podcasts.
That's right, Ship, you know, I like, I'm always happy
to help. I've just been like great personal stuff. Hey Terry, Sorry,
but didn't mean to bust into the engineering room. How
are you doing, I'm doing good? How good? Good? Good? Um,

(23:45):
we need you to tell your engineer we need some help.
Do you want go to my engineering bay to go
to Grant. Do you want me to just go to
Grant directly? I got it? Okay, just a couple of trash,
what do you what is that? Is it? We just
need to help move in the trash. Okay, thanks man,

(24:05):
this is a nice both. Thanks. Pictures of my family here. Yeah, Grant,
hey started busting your engineering bay in the middle of
editing something. What's up? It's okay? Sorry? Uh so I
just got a word from on high. They're gonna need
help moving the trash. So we're gonna need you to

(24:28):
just put on these hasms if you don't mind, and
then helping them just whenever you're done. Hey, you ever
had your heartbroken? Yeah? Okay, all right? Hey Terry Grant,
well good, I got you both in here. Hey, we
got a little situation. Um is everyone good at secrets? Yeah?

(24:48):
Could at secrets? Yeah? Great? Right, so we got a
little dead body we need to move and you know
we all did that improv lesson so yes, and we
just need to move it to the alright, sweet. It
seems like a bad use of yes and no. No, no,
not at all, not at all. Not. It's your your
energy and attitude is depending on you. Okay, let's go,

(25:10):
let's do it. It's podcast now. Let's all right, let's
bring in our first guest, all the way from Midland, Kentucky.
Give it up for Trouble, Dnano. Am I saying that? Right?
Trouble Donano? You are in fact saying that correctly. And
my hat is off to you. Fantastic, And I see

(25:31):
you brought a friend with you. Who who is this this? Say? Uh,
it's just look at that. And on top of the friend,
it seems to be something else? Is that right? Yes
it is? And inside that other friend's mouth is something else.

(25:52):
Now for your listeners, that's my hound Tommy, and uh
our blue jay Bill. When you're walking around the streets
and you wonder where am I? What time is? This? Ad?
Is brought to you by phone? Turn it up, Turn
it up. Trail about Donano's odd mom? Okay, mom, not

(26:18):
every week? The trail about Donano guests on a podcast. Okay, honey,
can we get a pause in our conversation so we
can listen to this people? No, let's definitely turn this up. Okay,
turning it up right now? A crow with a rat
in its mouth, riding a dog. It's not a chrow Mom,
he said it was. It was a blue Jay. He
said blue Jay. All right, all right, Trouble, we'll get

(26:42):
you in one second. Just gotta hear this ad from
one of our great sponsors. Are you shipping me? Hey?
Do you guys like going on roller coasters? Well we're not.
We'll make roller coasters right here and you are, so
come on down. If you need a roller coaster, we'll
make to name and we can make it a smooth

(27:02):
or we can make a little stake. And this podcast
is brought to you by Water. All right, I want
to give a shout out to our sponsor, Water, who
is supporting roller coaster made in the US of A.
Will it just the one question? Or did I come
on this? Thank you, Trouble. That's all the time we
have for you now. But you'll be back, I'm sure

(27:25):
with some more friends. There's blood, there's blood everywhere. I
don't know what I gotta get back, Janeft. Just thank you.
I really appreciate that. Who was he? Do you want
to know or do you know? No? I guess not. Hey,
I was wondering. Tomorrow is my birthday and I know
it's not usual, like can I have my birth. Can
I have tomorrow off? Let's just move this in the studio. Yeah,

(27:52):
we need tomorrow is a big one. I called off tomorrow.
Yeah yeah, Terry's off tomorrow. Wait, Podcast Knowledgy isn't recording tomorrow?
Oh yeah, trist Us off. Who's gonna Who's gonna be
on a thing? Foundry? Foundry is a good place too.
He's not dead. Okay, there it is right there. This

(28:16):
is how you do it. Okay, I'm tired, Okay, all right,
I'm gonna I'm actually gonna hurt. It's like seven o'clock.
I'm gonna get out of here. Uh, if you need me,
you know where to fund me. Although on the d
on the radio way now, but you can call me.
If this is the early Thursday version of Podcast Knowledge,

(28:39):
I want the late Thursday version. Okay, mom, mom, did
you got your pills? Did you take your pills? Mike?
He ali, yes, I'm thirty five years old telling me
post no. She you tell me your wife's mom is

(29:01):
thirty five? Is all right? She? What? Uh? All right?
No shame, no shame. You know that's just um small water?
You like some more water? I get to Margarita with
the salt gurn. Please, Actually, this is a try bar.

(29:22):
This is yeah, I know the margarot is here. Oh no,
the one in Midland, Kentucky selves mortor rooted. This is
that's a different county. This is a dry bar. Oh
it's the dry bar bar, dry bar. Don't don't argue
with the weights. Okay, you're gonna be You're give me
the bartender at our dry bar. Now there's there's there's

(29:46):
shelves and shelves of of drinks behind you. The standards
full bar, full bar. But but if this is a
dry county, so you're not allowed to serve any of it? Uh?
You got that? So what ever someone asked or a drink,
people will constantly grant, I need this margaritas and I
need those cosmos. Now look, I'm just I'm losing it.

(30:08):
I'm losing it by being honest. Grant please, I just
need to note that says this is a dry county. Okay,
what you need me to write? You would not this
this is a dry county. Right of course I do.
And I need those cosmos and margarita's. Now need salt
on the note. Okay, wait, my putting salt on the note. Book.
I'll be back, I'll be back. Excuse me, Do you
do do flights? Yes? Where would you we go? At

(30:33):
a burbank we go? No, I'm talking about a flight
of your reds. I say that bottle of Merlot there,
I'd like I'd like to try the pinot as well.
So this is gonna be awkward, and I'm so sorry,
but this is actually a dry bar. Um, we don't
serve dry bar. It's on display. But I have we
have water? No, I want, I want want. How I

(30:57):
could give you a flight of water, a flight of war?
What would that be? That would be? We have our
tap water? Los Angeles is finest, then we have a
brittah samples like that. Los Angeles County is a dry county. No,
this bar you serve, you serve Los Angeles County tap water.
That's right, another county. We're in a different county. Why

(31:20):
would you have this bar? Look, man, look like a
full But why am I the bad guy here? You're
not the bad guy. You all the messenger grant Um.
I don't know how to tell you this, but you're
gonna have to go in front of the county and
ask for it to be a web bar. I have

(31:40):
to do that, and you gotta get some sleep before
you go up there, because you look hired. It's just
that I have to work. I have to work this afternoon.
We're doing that. I have to work too. I have
to go to a golf show. That's not work though
that's a different bill. I feel like that's different a
golf show. It's kind of work. Let's go. I have to, like,

(32:02):
actually work, I have to do. I gotta make sure
that help. Okay. First of all, liquor is sin. But yes,
please go ahead and tell us why you believe that
your full ball should not be a dry ball. My
excuse the gentleman from Colin County to reiterate what he said,

(32:26):
that liquor is the enemy of all men. Continue, I
would like to also say that liquor is the plot
on all humanity. Anyone that has ever tasted that hate
knows the pain that they can cause themselves and everyone else. Amen, sir,

(32:53):
what will you say in grant? I was wondering if
we could make one of the bars a normal, a
regular bar, a dry bar at toastinos totinos or toasts?
Is it totinos toastinoso? Wake up? Podcast Knowledge. Okay, we're

(33:26):
back one second. Sorry, sorry, all right. I just want
to give a shout out to our sponsors over at
Air who are supporting all the people working on docks.
Would to be used for your feet. Okay, let's look
out our newest guest, Oh, coming all the way from Dublin, Ireland.
Let's give it up for Shamous. Oh, shamous Shamous Grant?

(33:51):
Wake up? Up? Okay? Got Why am I on all
these boxes? How did I get on top of all
these box? Sick Grant? Wake up? Yeah? Hey, we need
we need to break up? What me up? I was
just maybe I have to work open the little by naps. No,
I'm out of here. I got a better Griant wept,

(34:13):
Grant we go. Oh my god, Jesus, this has been
heart What's up? Dude? Hey? What's what's up that it
seemed to see? Three comes from v I P. Michael. Hey, alchemist. Okay,

(34:36):
I did it. I broke down and had to give
you all money because I've been enjoying your incredible show
each week for far too long. Thank you to call
for stepping in for all those episodes. They were awesome. Kevin,
welcome back. We missed your controlled chaos. Second, I just
started the beginning of the catalog again, and hearing how
everyone has evolved over the few years has been pretty sweet.

(34:58):
The eighteen million dollar under around Vegas House was just
pure and sand I know you like these to be brief. Well,
so here's the scene suggested. Whatever story you cut Joey
off from saying at the top is now the scene. Anyways,
much love from out here in Joshua Tree. Michael. Yeah,

(35:18):
so there's treasure all around here. I feel like I
really wasn't paying attention. What were you saying? I'm telling
me there's treasure all around the coast here right? Uh?
Which which coaster we on? Is this the Boston coach
or the Virginia coast? We were in Boston right now?

(35:39):
Because you sound more indigenous to Virginia. All right, you
sounding like you're from asshole that maybe I am. Maybe
I'm a goddamn treasure here. All right, we gotta find Hey, hey,
slap along or whatever your name. Damn me, I'm just

(36:03):
you hired me. If you find this treasure, you'll wake
you up from naps all the time you're taking these
guy damn pills. I feel like you're just not are
with them. And you know what, I just feel like sucking. Man.
I just just give up. Okay. So here's your cap poc.
Yeah yeah, we can't, asshole. We can park here? Why not?

(36:25):
There's no sign. I don't see a fucking sign. Asshole. Okay,
So we're all assholes and you're an angel who yells
at your employer. This is going great. I'm from Virginia,
after all. Did you leave behind any family members? And
by that I mean some of you folks in Virginia
are your own parents, Is that right? Right? Yeah? We

(36:48):
suck our own people. That what you're saying. You're sick man,
what you said. And I'm from Virginia. There we go,
another one of these high society any times. I take
exception of that. And you can't talk though, Hey man,
you're not even from your man. I'm a Virginia tourist.

(37:08):
I'm a taurist from Virginia. Don me to man, get
my back here, man, I'm god piece of Shia from
the old Dominion. Look slept along. I think you're a
nice enough guy, okay, but I am the sheriff of
this of this place, and of this particular section of Boston.

(37:31):
I'm the sheriff. Look, we're good. I like you. I
like like you man. And where I'm from? Where are
you from? You you you don't sound like a local. No, no,
not local? Thank god? Amen to that. Yeah, listen, I
actually don't want Where from are you from? Virginia? I
don't mind you doing this? Treasure hunts a little? Can
you not hear? I just feel like you know where

(37:54):
I'm from? My gud you know? Oh you can't hear me? Yeah?
Oh god? I though. It's just got a time to
tell you a couple of things here as I am
the law. You know, you know, you know, so you
know he heard you lost your captain. You're looking to

(38:16):
find the treasure. Yeah, that's right. Here's me, wizzy me.
I found over a hundred million dollars of treasure. Okay,
that's in the current day money I patched McGee? Is
that okay? Where you from? I'm from Louisiana, Oka, Betton Rouge.

(38:45):
Have you been down there in the Betton Rouge? Have I? Yes? No?
But I'm gonna ask the questions if you don't mind.
As your potential employee is kept. When was the last
time you did some proper priety lie, yeah, two months ago,
but I can't give you details. All Right, we robbed

(39:08):
a man and threw his body in a dump stop
behind it, all right, lot this guy up here, Captain's crazy,
just killing this guy all right. Now, we gotta burn
these DVDs on this other PC, all right, and then
we're gonna resell DVDs. We're gonna flip the profit. Right,

(39:28):
this is your idea, razy to play on words to right.
It's hoping I just kill somebody, man, I patched. This
is a very elaborate resume, but mostly what I'm seeing
on here is piracy. Seeing a lot of piracy. Uh okay, um,

(39:51):
but you know this is an office job. Did we
need somebody who's proficient in power Point? Very good at
power Point animation? Uh? That is on here? I'm sorry, Yes,
that the bottom extra skills, It is at the bottom. UF.
You're plundering and looting windows Apple. Iowa was uh savy okay?

(40:15):
And your name is spelled lowercase I capital P A
T H. I guess I maybe this is my bad.
Just judging from your name, I thought you would be
more proficient computers. Yeah, okay, I patch. I'm looking over
the Excel spreads here, you kind of jumbled some stuff around,

(40:37):
so this, uh, the sequence here is just out of order.
If you just went over in the original documents we
sent over how we'd like to organize it, so you
could just yeah, that'd be great. Okay, you're doing right now? Yes, yes,
click click done, sorted? I okay, I see what you made.

(41:01):
All the accounts look like a ship? Is that right?
All the accounts now look like like a ship. Gigantic
ships are murder look slap along. Uh. I'm I'm sad
to see you go, if I'm being honest. Yeah, you
put me in You put me in jail for six
months because I kept dont asking you where you're from,
and then you told me you had to do it.

(41:22):
And I don't understand what was but yeah, well that's
how it goes. Here's what I'm thinking, though, I bet
you can find so much treasure that you're gonna be
just fine. Where are you from, it'll be fine. What's so?
Why even higher? Why even take people out on the boats?

(41:42):
Why don't you just go get the treasure yourself? Central
Michigan song song I'm doing and you bailed you out?
Holy ship? Alright, Er'll catch you later, alright, that you're
doing in this three piece suit. Hey, I've changed, I've

(42:03):
now I worked down at Morgan Stanley. Are you serious?
Those are the real pirates if you asked me those
good guy, he's good guys. It's all legal. I mean,
just because it's legal, don't make it right. I don't know.
I mean privateering at one point was legal technically, yeah,

(42:24):
I mean it was, man, I don't know. It was
against Philip of Spain. You know, what are you gonna do?
You're a bus kill? Bo can I get for you?
And we'll do two shots of rum and and make
that two jugs a rum, two jugs l a water? Okay, yeah, great,

(42:48):
there you go, two jugs of rum and one l
a water. Did you start l a water? I shook it? No, no,
not at all. Just that will be two. It's on me,

(43:10):
it must be. I just got out of jail. Mann,
Uncle Morgan. What that's a credit card? It's a joke
the business. Hold us open or keep it open or
close it up? Open place open? Okay? Enjoy, okay you too.
Let's just see where we left off last time. All right, Melissa,

(43:35):
you were letting your husband know that you had a
difficult time communicating with him because of the way he talks,
and were you did you want to few words? Let
Melissa speak first? Okay, fair, listen? Do you want to

(43:56):
go further with your concern or you're well, it's just
a lot of a lot of rs. Yeah, and I'm
supposed to I'm supposed to just magically into it. What
each R means? Like? It could be a happy R
or a sad? Are angry? Are? Like? I don't know, doctor,

(44:23):
do you need to use the rest? I think he's sad,
but I can't tell Melissa. I mean he's doing everything right.
He's got a new job, right, He's changed his life around.
I am happy about that. Yeah, I mean I think
you should just get married. You think so? I want
to so bad, but just I don't know if my

(44:43):
patch is the one. I mean, he's doing everything you've
asked mere right? How many men are going to put
up a single shot pistol and a safe and one
burger fry so much? Um? Excuse me, sir, the burger right? Uh?
I asked for fries with burger inside them, and what

(45:06):
did you get? I'm so sorry. I have fries with
burgers outside of them. So it's just like burger meat
and cheese and pickles on top. It's kind of like
fried nachos. I wanted fries with all that needs right away. Actually, yeah,
right away, Grant, What the funk are you doing? I'm
just not myself, man, I'm getting off all of the

(45:29):
stuff that's happening outside getting piped into my office. Okay,
I'll mess you a question. I'll mess your question. No, no, no,
I asked, Okay, what did you any feel about gold coins?
Gold coins? Yeah? I know a guy and we can
put all this behind us, no more work. No, this
is we're on top of the business world. Right. You
got a lot of tables asking about you want me

(45:51):
to cover. This guy is in high school and he's
crushing it out there. I'm working my way through through
high school. I thought you'd be in college by out
thought I would be too. I'm seventeen. Okay, Marvin, alright,
we'll hold up. Okay, this is the last drive of
the game. We gotta beat Okay, we gotta beat Central High. Okay, Marvin,

(46:13):
you gotta throw that spiral. Okay, I gotta what No,
throw the spiral, Marvin, Okay, you gotta throw the Can
you hear me and not? Am I in a temporal loop?
Or no? Can you hear me? I'm in a loop.
I'm in a loop. Okay, okay, you can hear me.
You can Mars touchdown. It's a spiral touchdown, a spiral touchdown.

(46:37):
What if I throw a wobbly touchdown with that sub
all right? No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, they
got the best defensive back in the country. Okay, we
gotta make this. We gotta thread the needle, Marvin, Okay,
the rings coming ow. Well, I don't want to throw
it to the best difference. No, no, don't do it. Okay, Okay,
you guys got this. Meanwhile on the other sideline, alright, alright, fellas, um,

(47:05):
I just want to let you know that no matter
what you do, everyone's very proud of you, and your
parents love you. Coach Frankly Crusha Steve. Steve asked Janetta
out for problem. So very nice, nice coach. I don't
know if this is an appropriate time, but we chipped
in and got you a little something, don't you're the

(47:27):
best back guys. Your eyes, it has your eyes. We
hadn't made it a laboratory. You're the best. But get
out there and do what you want, do what you want.

(47:49):
It all comes down to this. Looks like we got
Central High with the best dB in the country right
back there, and also Marvin mceugh, who is also the
only named player on either team. So I'll tell you
what's going on in that hotel right now. Well, in
that hotel right now, what's happening is one guy is
probably looking at another guy and saying I love you,

(48:10):
and the other guys looking right back. Adam and said
I was I was a player for twenty years. I
know what's going on in that. This game is brought
to you. Buy money. You need to buy things? Do
you need to share things? Money is where it's at.
Let's go cent roll. Lett's going to be back in
Charlotte's Ville. That is our show. I don't know what happened.

(48:36):
I was a sick ad for six session, coming lead
wanting more secon uh man, I love playing any guys
and God, I think next week will be our last
recording of the year. So prior to that, if you're
listening to this, this is right before Christmas of two
thoe when ship was getting really really bad all over

(48:59):
the country. But I want to thank all of our
players for staying at home and being responsible and zooming
into this here recording, starting with Mr Chris Alvarado, Chris,
for the holidays, You're gonna get in the car and
drive away from your home? Is that right? Away? From
my home to another home? Comfortable, cozy, comfortable, cozy. I've

(49:21):
done three I've done three COVID tests this week alone,
the rapid ones. But this afternoon we're doing those deep ones.
We're doing one of those, going deep um, so we
can pull into the in laws in health, in good, healthy, Kevin.
I was just thinking somebody might listen to this in
ten years from now, that's forty years from this is

(49:42):
a time capsule of a time when the world was imploding, imploding,
but there's still some good, still some good, some laughs
that we had, some love. But is it weird? Well,
thanks for having me. I love everybody. And if you're
hearing me, I'm I might be dead if you listen
to this, and you know one of those will be

(50:04):
I'm dead. Let me tell you right now, I have
a pretty good head of hair. I feel pretty good
and wearing a blue hoodie. Maybe you're watching the video
of this can you? But oh he was, I think
about it. Uh. In lieu of cards and flowers, please
send a fine nancial donation through Patron to Craig to

(50:28):
cows dot com a toist thing. Thanks thanks for having me.
This is always so much fun. Happy holidays, Merry Christmas
to everybody. Um, yeah, it's us for ten years from now.
Uh ten years from now. I you know, I just
hope to to be surfing. That's really my true love.

(50:50):
Reading a book a week, um, playing with filters, all
kinds of crazy stuff that I want to be really
doing over the next So I just got lunked into
all crazy stuff. That's cool. I mean I'll be dead
with anybody driving Craigkowski. Thank you so much, buddy. I

(51:12):
hope your Christmas is super fantastic. Oh I hope so too.
Negative PCR test yesterday. Of course they also waited in
line next to a lot of potentially sick people. So
did you if I've picked up the test, did you
do uh rails with the in laws yet? No? We canceled. Okay, good,
we canceled. Uh yeah no no indoor dining and as

(51:34):
a Virginia native, always nice to be back in my
home state in podcast. So Joey nailed at accent. That
was pretty accurate. Yeah, Joey, thanks so much for being
mostly here. Yeah, I mean I was coming in and out,
but I think it was just a time loop. If
you do want to. This is the scare reel here.

(51:57):
Let's shut into the real gear. Check out Grace O'Malley.
She's a real life pirate, Irish pirate and uh she
she was a force to be reckoned with. When you
say check her out as you have a podcast, she does,
it's on. I think it's it's on. I far Media.
Go there. Let's thank Doug Babe, our producer and engineering

(52:21):
stars Babe. Media part radio is a genius day, and
I might go try to find that website. Fuck you do,
that's mine. And be kind to each other. There's a
fine example of how to as your host. Kevin Pollic,

(52:42):
I want to thank each and every darn one of
you for looking out for each other, telling everyone you've
ever met about this podcast. And I hope to see
one of our live shows should they ever happen again.
Until next time, somewhere and a football. Hello,