September 17, 2019 • 48 mins
Origin Of British Posh-Speak; Backstage With The Band, Wunderkind; Couple’s Retreat Is Actually A Cult.
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This Cole Stratton
here filling in once again for Kevin Pollock, who was
off shooting three thousand miles to Graceland to Elvis has
left the building smut Alchemists for today. She knows exactly
where Carmen san Diego is. Vanessa Ragland the what makes
you such a good gum shoot? I guess there's my
(00:23):
innate curiosity, Thank you. Next, he owns fifty one percent
of Candy Land. Joey Greer, Oh my god, Joey, what's
come Drop Mountain like this time of year? It's honestly,
it's a fucking hell hole. Okay, it's the middle of summer.
It's you don't want to be there, sticky, sticky. Next up,
(00:45):
he saw crocodile Dundee six times in the theater. Mark Gagliardi,
Good night, Mark. Is this a knife? That's not a knife?
This is a nice I'm not supposed to carry this
with me in the studio. Finally, he took the Pepsi
challenge and now he owns the company Craig Koski. Craig,
(01:09):
what variation of kola have you cooked up? Next? Uh,
Cacola it's my own secret family recipe. What's in it? Uh?
My secret family drinking drink PEPSI took a turn. All right,
(01:31):
let's get to our first scene. All of today's scene
suggestions were gathered from our listeners emails. If you'd like
to submit yours, please write to the podcast at your
name here at alchemy this dot com. That's your name
here at alchemy this dot com. Our first scene comes
from Shiler I believe or Skylar not sure who wrote
Dear Alchemists. I'm a very huge fan of the magic
that you, beautiful people are able to spew from your
(01:52):
mouths with amazing grace. I recently learned something that I
thought would make a good scene. Apparently, during the Industrial Revolution,
many formerly lower class British people came to an influx
of money. Even though they had more money, they still
spoken away that marked them as a commoner. So in
order to separate themselves from the poor, they developed a
new posh way of speaking, and it eventually spread like wildfire.
(02:14):
What I think would be a good scene is a
discussion between a committee of people who are trying to
say how they're going to separate themselves from the poor.
Hopefully This wasn't too long of an email and it
makes the cut. Thanks for all the last Skyler. Ps.
I'm an inspiring artist on Instagram and was inspired to
drop my own version of the alchemy this logo. Hope
you all enjoy. What's her hand? Where is it? They
didn't share that, or if they did, Kevin didn't include it.
(02:37):
So find out. We gotta find out. We'll find it out.
We'll find out for a future episode. A little boy
and I want those fur coats. She got off that
you want a fur coat? Yeah, going you know you
can't buy a fur coat. And my son was said,
he wants the boy fur coat. You're gonna get my
(02:58):
son a fur coat. Actually no, we don't have to.
We can reshoot service to anyone, like please go back
to the street urchins. Then it's always coined Dana threw
money at me, boy, poor boy. You must have stolen that,
your poor poor boy. I don't talk to my son
like that. Poor father, poor poor father. Money at you too, money, money, money,
(03:24):
I don't get it. We might be your money now.
We should be living the law. I know, but we
just keep getting pushed. Look at tell more money from
money at it? I don't know what it is. It's
like people don't want to respect us anymore. Son, I
don't know what it is. I think it might be
(03:44):
that way look different, that we look different than everyone else.
We get a fair car than than now that we
are there the sound of your voices, please please get out. Look,
my name's Danny Dyer. You're gonna remember me. You're gonna
know I. That's right, you're gonna remember my boy, Danny Dyer.
(04:08):
I hardly think I need to remember Danny Dyer out
of my first story about here. It's something about us
that's a little different. Well, she did say that your
voice was a bit clawing. Yeah, yeah, where did you
get that fair coat? I nicked it, but I paid
(04:29):
for it. You're nected, boy, you're paid for it. Yeh.
The money, Yeah, but I grabbed that on the way out.
Why did you get the money? Working? Or it's an
influxor manning now to those lower classes created a middle
class because of the Yeah, don't you know about the
industrial revolution? Or didn't get to participant in there? You
(04:50):
didn't get to participate in industrial revolution. It's not like
it's not like a thing that you just signed up
and heard a punch card for it. It's happening all
around us. What is it? Does? What's happening all around us?
I don't see it, lads, I gotta be going to
the off his job. But me, wow, beginning can type
fast with them fingerless gloves stairs and Davy. You see
(05:14):
all these smoke stacks, Yeah, you seem alm s going around? Yeah,
or the steam power that's spewing out the tops of
buildings makings wandering about their See industrial revolution, mate, you're
in the middle of it. So you're saying arm loader
class and your middle class. Yeah, it turns out there's
a thing now called the middle class. My. Yeah, it's
(05:36):
not just kings in popas anymore. My. Well that's bloody confusing. Yeah,
because we sound the same. Well that's how That's why
he got the fur coats, so he know he's better
than you than your fur coat kick talk boys, what
don't mind me, I'm just reading the Piggins peace in mate.
(05:59):
It's got a lot of wars crying of dude. Don't
so your son has had a stroke? What you must
have seen it coming for years then? I thought that
might have been what was going on. Yeah, look is
that now that we are middle class people. The middle
class people get a certain medicine. It's better than the
regular when the regular folks get Yeah, you get the
(06:20):
name brand. You don't get to generic equivalent. Then oh good,
what's the name brand version of fixed my son's stroke? Uh,
stroker stroke or stroker ice, stroker race. It's the best
medicine you can really, it's stroker Race. Are you? I
feel like you might be messing with me because still
lower class. I've got burned before. We went in a
(06:42):
in a first shop and a lady wouldn't want to service.
Give him the stroker Ace generic stroke medicine. He's poor,
he's very that's the thing. Though they've made my money.
Then that's not see, that's the thing. That's exactly what
we're coming up against. I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
I'm literally talking and I'm too free away talking to
(07:03):
my associated pharmacist. Look, if you come back and you
can prove that you've become higher class, we'll give you
the stroke race. Otherwise you get the Kirkland. Well I
do like that. I mean the chocolate almonds by the
Kirkland are pretty good. Get the chocolate almonds, but the Kirkland.
I don't know about the Kirkland stroke medicine. It's not good.
You know we're gonna do it. My son and I,
(07:23):
Danny Dyer and Danny Dyer Senior, Daniel and Danny is
what we go by. We're going to prove to you
that we are upper class. You don't have to drag
your drooling son out of here. Now repeat after me.
Kirkland chocolate almonds, Kirkland chocolate almonds, Kirkland chocolate almonds, Kirkland
(07:45):
chocolate almonds. Good, good, Now you're Danny Jr. Current. It's
gonna be a bit tougher in dr riggans. He had
a stroke battle. Yes, rolling over, we'll try this. I'd
like a vial of Stroker race of stronger. No, no,
(08:09):
said simply no. Good professor. Yes, there's a big party
tonight to do. When you're invited, you can bring two guests. Fancy.
This seems like the right moment for us to prove
how fancy we can be. Perhaps I can pass the
two of you offers sophisticated. Do you think it will work? Well?
(08:31):
We better get cracking. We've we've only got a few hours, right, gentlemen,
I'll take your monocles. Yes, um, right, here it goes
my monocle for you, good man, and a tip for
your service, Thank you much. How are we doing so far? Professor?
You don't check your monocles? That what? Yes, this is
(08:53):
a plant. He works for me, Yes, you work for
the professors. You did, both of you. God damn it.
Hold on your monocles, we professor? How you doing by?
I was seeing you in a blue moon? Well? Hello
by by an army. Now let's then tell you man,
if you want to get it right, you've got to
(09:15):
smoke it. It's a feast that's only got to do.
I don't understand anything understanding. I've known him for he's
two boys, a fine slogs as soon as that a
stroke he has. Yes, my son is at a stroke.
(09:36):
Yeah this morning. Yeah. I beg you know, to get
him something good for it. Then don't give him the strokery.
We got a lot of it there, don't. You've got
a lot of stroker race? Hey, we got a surplus. No,
he's part I can tell he's a part by. Hey,
they come back and you approved, that's wealthy. We'll get
(09:58):
you race how any different? Just do we have to
go to tell us the same damn thing. All right,
we'll prove to you Scottish doctor and an Irish nurse.
You well proved and we'll prove to that the doctor.
Well you're back, are you? Yeah? We got the work. Yes, yes,
(10:20):
you embarrassed me at that society board. But I'm terribly sorry.
But everyone saw you'll check your monocles at the door.
Oh that was the problem. I was humiliated. Look, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, professor, I'm sorry doctor. We my son and
I were just trying to get him some medicine for
a stroke. Yes, everyone's going to know the name Danny Dyer,
(10:44):
not in a positive way. Well, I never thought of that.
I guess were for people to know your name, that's
not hard. Well, what can we do to get people
to know the name all round? All round? To have
a festival of the King and Queen? All her names
(11:04):
will be drawn from a hat said aloud, and fame
will be bestoned. Now, make sure you write your name
in a llegible script that is obviously of an upper class,
and then from there I will read it. Right, Danny,
write your name down all right? Yeah? The stroke that's
probably not going to be superas were you right handed before?
(11:27):
You have write your son's name. I couldn't help it
over here, but good luck getting chosen. I've been taken
calligraphy for forty two years because I'm sure my name
will kitten chosen. Sure, just like when you play bingo,
if you wrote be four in real fancy calligraphy letters,
that's bound together. What you're talking about. You're a peasant.
(11:48):
Bring out your names, bring out your name right here
we go, Dire, just for fun, Daniel Dire. You know what.
He helped us out a lot, Dr Higgins. All names
have been accounted for. The drawing shot against it. There
(12:08):
you are all right, going to the names. First nime
to be read aloud and find bestowed upon them Rosalind, Rosalind, Rosalind.
(12:30):
It's nothing at all, Thank you so much. Second night
to be fined. What soul? It is? This right? Is
it of the upper class? It's righting the bold scandal.
Mr Daniel Dawyer. We should string him up. No, I'm
(12:54):
just trying it. I'm just trying to get me in
a Danny Dayer. Be together, and the Professor Higgins on
aware his houses. Let's go to it, all of us,
the rain in Spain's days mainly and that what the rain?
(13:14):
That was a good one. Are you, Professor Higgins? Yes, yes,
you have coming to trees and Higgin the clown. Come god. Look,
I could identify an accent within two hundred kilometers of London,
(13:36):
and I have no idea where you're from. Then you
have no idea how high? Boys? Everybody murdering? Everybody? Well,
I gotta say for me and my son, Danny Diet
whose name you will remember, it's probably a good thing
that guy that we don't know where's from was just
killed brutally. He seemed to be the one running his
(13:57):
mob were now out. I don't know what. We've got
a whole mom together. Who are we going to kill?
Learn singer strong? What are he saying? Did he say,
let's sing a song? I understood that. Let's do what
Danny boy here says. Wait. Wait's a good idea, Danny boy,
Danny Boy, Oh, Danny Boy, bye, Sory, you'll remember this
(14:27):
song forever and get your stroker race at the pharmacy.
It's beautiful, Professor Higgins, thank you for beautiful boys. Wait
a second, Danny you're talking. Oh my um, he's so kay, Danny,
my son, you've killed You've killed your stroke with the
(14:48):
magic power of singing. I'm back at it. Post mean
letting now never good door sounds so poor killing oa
after that and that, it's the story of how Danny Dyer,
whose name we all remember, commemorate on this day every year,
saved strokes by the power of singing. Happy Dana daya
(15:13):
dia crowns on our heads. Here, get your mutton sticks
out and I sing his song? Shall we probably? Oh?
Good Dame, get your stroker. See that's our See I
(15:42):
knew that's what the song was about. I briefly called
the Chemist. Our second scene comes from Jonathan, who wrote
Creating is Alchemists. Today is my birthday, birthday probably a
couple of months ago. It was good. I was hoping
you could give me with a scene about my rock
(16:03):
band Wonder Kid. Why that's detailing every member you m
I want to write this down. There's me the neurotic guitarist,
band leader, manager. That's Jonathan. Hey, that's not me, Sam charismatic,
gender fluid Dizzie lead singer, Vanessa dan stoned bass player
(16:27):
who's just having a great time. We're just gonna set
this one out. Nate swag tastic drummer who has commitment
issues but is super talented and cool, No problem, Thank you. PS.
Chris Alvarado, you're my hero. Well be sure to tell
him that off runway best Jonathan Alright, wonder kind What
(16:51):
the hell is this? What those are? Crap band? Name?
What is this? Wonder kid? Yeah, listen, okay, you're up
in six minutes. You got that? Okay? And I don't
want any stains. Did anyone want to tell you your
eyes were beautiful? Loosen up that shirt? Why don't we
rip these sleeves off ship? You know, maybe that shirt
(17:11):
could have been expensive? You know what I just want
to say, I apologist for saying it was a crap band.
Off the of the get go, I got like going on. Yeah, sorry,
I just work out because of stress. Um, okay, you
got six minutes, thanks man, Thank you six What an
amazing soul. It feels like your great house out there, guys. Yeah,
(17:32):
I'm pretty excited. It looks like it's gonna be fun.
Who's gonna handle the tasty licks tonight? I am You're
I'm gonna lick all the people is a musical thing.
We're supposed to lick the audience. But Nate, you are
swag tastic. Man, I feel it. I feel it. Oh man,
(17:57):
something's wrong with my stomach. Wrong? What's the matter. I
don't know, there's something wrong with my stomach. I said,
I want Do you want me to operate? I think, Wait, Sam,
are you talk to her? No? I'm not. I shouldn't
have said that. I totally have said that. Oh my gosh,
you guys are something wrong with Tom. Tom we gotta
we's got to operate. Someone has to operate. What why
don't we just call a doctor or something. We don't
(18:18):
have that kind of time. Okay, all right, hold on,
let me grab one of my picks, Scott. Thank god,
bass picks are thicker than regular guitar picks. Yeah, that's
a pretty big incision, man. Yeah. Well, I don't know where.
I don't know what we're looking for, so I figured
I just check everywhere. Can someone pull up an image
of what it's also like? A wonder Kid four minutes?
(18:40):
Wonder Kid four go on? Yes, yes, he's fun. I
mean that drum a little if you need a drummer, wait, dantastic,
Yeah he's not fantastic. I don't know. I mean, it's Phil,
Phil Collins. I'm happy to sit in if you want.
You know what, Phil, It's okay. Wait, I think Phil
Collins is probably not as good as drummer as our
(19:00):
friend Nate, who's currently had his guts ripped open. All right,
well you're not three minutes now, guys. Good look, thank you,
thank you. Philis. Oh god, there's something moving around and
what isn't know? Oh he's gonna get that. Who's gonna
get I just gotta be able to sing, so I
don't want to scream too much, but I am screaming
on the inside. Jonathan, get it, reach in. Oh god,
(19:21):
it's alive. I think he picked up a parasite when
it was in the Amazon last week. Oh my god.
I don't want to freak you out, but look at him, Nate, Nate,
I Blake DRAMs. Wait, what's what's that Nate scribbling? D
n plays drums? You play drums, Weather, But what about
(19:45):
Nate is like a super fan. I'men following these guys
like every city, every everything, every I got to see them.
I've never heard him before, my daughter says, or fun.
I'm just trying to relate to good Oh gosh, good people. Honey,
(20:06):
I'm talking to these people because it's encourassing me. This
is my daughter. I love your eyeliner. Thank you. How
do you say hello to the nice? Aren't you gonna
ask him? Their names are being very polite? Hi, what
are your names? I'm Sledge, I'm Craiger, Sledgend, Craig, Oh, schlegend, Craiger.
What's really nice to meet you. I'm Tom And this
(20:28):
is my daughter. What are you going by? Now? She's
she was born Ashley but as am Off as one
of the ancient aliens, h named after the science fiction
writer Isaac Asthma. Whatever. And you're a big fan of
water Kid, Yeah, particularly Nate. It's the best. He's actually
(20:49):
a good friend of mine. Yeah, I give me he
an actually yeah, here he sla plastic is. Yeah, it's
a really good friend of mine. Say thank you, thank you.
Do you mind if we give your daughter some drugs? Oh? Well,
well it makes music? Feed my daughter? Drugs matter. I
(21:14):
don't know if feeds the right word. If I did,
like put food in her mouth with drugs on it,
well that's feeding. Okay, what honeymore, I've done drugs before,
don't embarrass me. Okay, look, I just want to relate
to you. So some of those drugs, would you just
say this, guys, you, where do you come on? Then
(21:34):
let's go come hey, get out, get out of here. Hey, look,
thank you very much for Genesis. Wonder Kid will be
out of three. They were all right, they were no
wonder Kid. Oh man, No they weren't, are you okay? Yeah,
just the drugs I picked today were real downers, and
I just it's a bad call on my part. I
(21:56):
just should have picked up hers. I just get starting
to field them too. Sorry about that. I gave you
like heavy downers. I'm feeling it to gave you some
brown tones. So hopefully wonder cat'll just lift our mood.
Natal lift mood. Nay, for God's sake, what are we
going to do? He is a dead person. He is
(22:17):
a dead che Grimlin says he can play drums. How
do we trust this grimlin shitty band? Let's say hello, hello,
are you in there? I'm not gonna open the door.
I respect your privacy. Okay. I just want to say
to the band member who sleeves off, I've kind of
really uh thought about myself a lot, and I want
(22:39):
to just let you know that I've called my parents
and I apologized. Okay, that's great, man, beautiful. I knew
you had a beautiful soul. Alright five minutes alright, I think,
oh great, we're getting a little extra type. Did Genesis
go along? They always go along, that's their whole thing. Hey, Sam, oh,
(22:59):
we gotta teach us. You've been living inside Nate for
a while. If you had headphones in Okay, Well, look
it's drumming, so you just kind of gotta field of vibe.
You don't have to worry about notes. It's just rhythm, man.
All right. Well, we're gonna open up with diamond diamonds, right, yeah,
always open with diamonds. Then we can move into swag
(23:21):
of every color. Look, everyone listen up, all right right now? Okay,
I'm feeling a little down, all right, and I don't
know why, but I think we should all just vacate
this venue and just all go outside and just gonna
figure it out. Okay, because face right, do you know
what I think that guy down in front is? Right? Yeah,
(23:43):
I just say, you know, I just I'm not I'm
not even keel, like, I don't know where my middle
is right now. But I am feeling down down long.
Guys having a bad trip. We're all having a bad
want to be at this concert and have an unpleasant time.
Let's moving on out to the parking lots. Do it.
Let's go, Let's get this guy. Friends of Air. Thank you,
(24:05):
thank you. Oh my gosh, you're having a good Hey. Sorry,
wonder kid Gennis As we walked the room, Hi, Evidently
we really bummed him out. What there's nobody out there anymore.
They're on the parking lot. So either you can play
in the parking lot or you can just go play
for an empty room. Thanks for letting us know. Don't
pay any attention to the mess in here. Okay, Phil.
(24:27):
Phil wanted to come back, but he felt terrible, so
he sent me. Mike Rutherford had said. Anyways, I'll see
you guys later. We'll be in the parking lot to
try trying to figure this out for you. Thanks, my Brotherford.
No problem. Well, tiny gremlin, it looks like you're not
gonna get the opportunity to play in front of the
crowd that you wanted to at this rock show. WHOA
(24:47):
I want a kid? Listen, I heard your record in
the puck lot wild. I haven't heard of music like
that in a long time. And I just want to
say somewhere now, this a right here, this is a
Gramlin guy. What the hell it is that I want
to tie? Can you mind? You all leaving the room,
and I just want to talk to this Kip for
a second. Where the rest of the oh, I know that. Yeah,
(25:13):
nothing's gonna happen. Thank you. We'll be out in the hall. Hey, Grandma,
I want to do a solo deal with you. Yeah,
we're not out of the room yet. What's up? We're
still were walking towards the door. Then the cover of ears. Okay,
because I don't want to hear this. I want to
(25:33):
do a solo deal with you, and I want to
give us a second to cover our ears. Just okay, okay,
I'll wait. All right, Gremlin, have some loyalty. Remember we
taught you rhythm and taught you rhythm grim they did.
We're covering our ears, but I'm gonna teach you how
to make a billion dollars, all right, And the first
step is getting rid of wonder kid. All right, you
will be going all the way to the tippy top.
We're gonna have a whole new band around you. All right, Okay,
(25:55):
that's direct. Now go out there and find the band. Yes,
you want to be the man, do it? Fine? Can
we take our hands off our ears now? Hey? Hey,
you can take your hands off your ears now. Yeah,
Semlin came back. See I told you guys, he's honest,
he's loyal, he would never have died. You have to
(26:18):
find your truth. Yeah, I step definded by myself. Okay, yourself, Yes,
I'm got that my own. What what I'm going to write?
Seven minute loud, extravagant balance. Dude? We cut you out
(26:39):
of Nate's stomach. Yeah, man taught you how to drum our.
Drummer is dead because you inside fail Collin's Red. So
I'm going this is about Phil Collins. Oh, I sit
about me. You'll never make it on your own. You'll
never make it on your own. Graham. Yes, I wird
(27:03):
my name like Danny Dyer. Wait, do we even know
your name? Now? She calls you grandma. I thought that
was just short for for Nate's gremlin. It is, that's
what I Yeah, I don't know. It's Rick, Rick, Rick,
your name is Rick? Yes? Did you name yourself? Then?
(27:25):
Ate it before I died. What Courtner Matthew said, soon Rick,
Nate White Wait wait, wait, oh my god, Nate wanted
you to come out. Nate was planning on us, Yes,
he would say soon Rick, soon in the bathroom. Yes,
(27:47):
I am so confused. We never knew about any of that. Oh,
this is the worst Danny Dyer day I've ever had.
I should be with my family, instead we're Instead, we're
here with this tiny gremlin and this record executive who
thinks that this whole falling apart of a band is hilarious.
(28:07):
Oh my god, monster, No, I'm a record man, really,
because I see horns coming out of your hair. She
suit monster whatever. Alright, listen, I really do see coming in. Look, Pite,
I'm not a parrisite. Okay, I'm not cut him open. No,
don't come. Oh you guys. Fuck, we're living inside the
(28:36):
record exactly if you were. Were you trying to get
Rick to go solo. I was trying to bring us
all together so Rick can go solo, but you can
be our drummer again. Yeah. Oh my god, men, thank you, Rick,
Thanks Rick, thanks Rick for everything. Don't damn god, I
(29:01):
see him going. It's like the cartoon dog eats a bone.
You can just see it go down. Oh God, let's
not stand down. God, damn it. That's our second scene.
(29:25):
I bet that's just what the band is like. Yeah,
I hope we did you proud Jonathan. Alright, our third
scene today it comes from Alex. He wrote hello to
Kevin and the Alchemists. I'll tell Kevin I absolutely love
and look forward to your podcast, and I'm ecstatic with
(29:45):
two days instead of one. It makes the commute to
all three of my jobs during the week a thousand
ties more enjoyable, So I thank you for that. That's
a lot. My scene suggestion is two people are invited
to a luxurious retreat to relax and rediscover one's true self.
One person begins to suspect that the place is actually
a cult headquarters disguising itself as a retreat. Have fun, sincerely,
(30:08):
Alex Petonist. Alright, so all the rooms share a door,
and okay, well, isn't it. It's up to you to
open your side, of course, and part of that is
just for all of us to decide how open we
want to be for our time here. Oh my gosh,
(30:28):
this is really beautiful. So we have a list on
the bed of all our activities and one we'll have
different meditations and whatnot wrong. Susanne loves meditating. I do
a good. Oh come on, there is no good and
meditating and just do it. Well, there is a system
and there's a hierarchy. So just knowing that that that
(30:50):
we're all here to work together and help each other
achieve purity and enlightenment and uh meals are Mike, I'm sorry,
I'm just and I'm just a little very package. Yeah, definitely,
I can have someone bring something over whenever you like.
That sounds great. What do you want? You want to
like club sandwich? And I mean, I guess whatever is easy,
(31:15):
and I want something more like a like a you know,
like okay, cable for my wife. Well, we do everything
here is liquid based, so we don't have any solid food. Okay,
that's not going to be a problem, Mike. So like
a soup, like a brothy soup. Yeah, we can do
a soup. That's fine, Okay, all right, I'll roll with it.
(31:37):
I'll roll with it. I'm sorry. I mean, you can
go into town if you have to get something. How
far as town, it's going to be fine, about twenty
kilometers that I don't know. It's about about eighty miles O.
Here is the order both. I didn't even order anyspaca.
But that's that was fast. He thought it and I
(31:58):
made it. Wow. The one mind serves all the one
mind sirs all. Wow, this was piping hot. It will
be caspaco in time, okay, so just leave it alone
to the cools. It takes a while to discover its
true self. Oh it's another thing. It's one mind, one mind,
(32:21):
one mind. What's that? Just a little saying we have here?
The mantra helps the center ourselves. I didn't This is
more than I, you know, was even thinking it would be.
We just kind of unwind and get to know ourselves
and each other again. I guess soon as I guess,
we should say their mantra with him? Where what was it?
You don't have to do that. I know, I'm want
to fit in. Um. What do we say mantra? Was? Uh?
(32:49):
The mantra is one mind, one mind, one mind, one
mind voices that way? Did that? I need to go
to Uh, I gotta get recalibrated. Just hang tight for
a second and I will. I gotta fix myself or
anything else as sustenance. I will be behind the shared door.
Oh good mind, and I will be always listening to God. Well,
(33:14):
this sponge was still really hot. Neighbor, Hello, neighbors are there?
I mean I saw you come in. I don't mean
to it, Druid, Hey, how are you? Guys? You came
right are you? Susan? Hi, Blessing, Hi Howard. I'm closing,
I'm and I'm Clydet. We got here about a month ago.
(33:37):
We're loving it amazing. One mind, one mind, one mind,
one mind mind, one mind. Yeah, so you could even
do extended stays like that if you get part of
the elevated program. They ask you to so actually required
required extended stays sometimes. Yeah, one mind on one mind mind.
So I just want to say, what's up? You guys
are gonna love the pool. It's awesome. It's awesome. Yeah.
(34:00):
So it's super chill, super great and it's mostly water. Now, yeah,
I know the best part about it. What else would
it be? Ye? Well they had mostly water. Yeah, yeah,
it's mostly water. What what was the other ingredients? We
honestly none of us know. But it was lovely it was.
Now it's mostly water, but it might not be long
no one mind one my mind. Yeah, I don't want
(34:24):
to do that. We got crafty, we got volleyball, we
got skin graph, we got kite surfing, you name it.
There's everything here, alright, one of mine and I we
got to bounce out of here. Yeah, and we got
to do our own little guys. Okay, it's nice to
(34:44):
see the pool. It was Carol and Okay, have a
good one. It was Mike and Suzanne. Right, yeah, that's right.
I'll tell him. Okay, this must have cooled down, but
I'll know it is still really hot. It's still really hot.
Don't think about food for five seconds. I'm sorry, I'm hungry. Okay, yeah,
(35:05):
you must wait until your capaco cools. Only then with bigaspaco. Okay,
I don't know what that means, and how would he know,
Like is that a recording? Like I mean, if everybody's
getting the hot gaspacho on arrival, then maybe it's just time. Mind.
I heard you tried the caspaco early. Well I just
tasted it, but it was a little too hot. Even
(35:27):
try it was just too it was too hot, like yourself,
the gaspaco was not ready. Well know when theaco was ready?
W work here? Yes, I made the caspaco. I was here,
but everyone's wearing the white thing and it's hard to
tell you guys apart. It's called a mind robe, and
(35:48):
yours are in your closets. I don't think I want
to please on your mind robes, sus I think we
got to put on the mind robes. You don't like
the gauze hat, well, it's it. It's a little itchy,
but oh it's it's kind of it's really comfortable. What
is this terry cloth? That is for you to find out?
(36:10):
And for us to just tell me the fabric recalibration
session to nine four. Uh, this is Spenser, this is
one mind Gabriel. Sorry for using my Christian name. Oh okay, uh,
I uh forgot the mantra for a second, And I
(36:33):
just want to say on the record that I didn't
mean to. It was just a floup. You forgot the mantra.
I forgot the mantra for a second. The mantras four words,
two of which are repeated, right right. I know that.
I know that. And tell me again what the mantra is?
Uh you know it? I do know it? Yes, do
(36:55):
you know it too? I know it too? Tell me
the mantra. We know what we both know it started.
It starts with a number. Um, starts with a basic
accounting number. Um an accountant? What account uh? Um? Was
(37:16):
it accountant? Was that right? I think the mantra begins
with accountant accounting number? Right? Was that right? Was I wrong?
Did you not say? Okay, I'll give you that. The
first word is one? Okay? Okay? What is that? What's okay?
So the first word is something to do with one?
Now think, okay, think, think with your brainy, think with you? Yes, um, warmer,
(37:42):
um Jacuzzi? What you said? Warmer? That mantra is not
one Jacuzzi? One Jacuzzi. Okay, I know that, I know that,
I know that you know that. I think he's beyond help.
Should be drained him of his in searching time up
in three. You know, I think I'm really having a
good te alright, I'll just grab your cups. Everybody take
(38:10):
a drink. Oh, it's just perfect, perfect temperature. One mind,
one mind, one mind. Um. So we finally have you, know,
a moment alone to be away from the kids for
for a little bit. You look good in that. Can
(38:31):
I give you a little background? Hi? One mind? One mind, mind,
one mind, one mind, one mind. It's the activities crew.
Did you fill out your paper? We're to pick up
your papers. You know what, we'll slide it into a door.
We're just gonna take it. Not a long travel day,
(38:56):
and we were really weird. There's also activities on here. Well,
we'll stand here and wait. We'll do yoga. We'll do yoga.
Check it off, check it off, check it off. The
thing I don't know where it is in the pamphlets
on the back. It's okay yoga, and I checked yogurt.
(39:20):
I'm sorry. Nobody ever picks the activity of yoga. That
all right? On My finger slipped accidentally clicked skin grafting.
Want skin grafting? Why we don't want skin graph I
was trying to check water skin skin grass. We're here
(39:42):
for yoga and water skiing. We clicked yogurt and skin
graft This is so miken't do anything right. Oh, don't
say that. I don't want to just come in. Hello, Hi, Hi, Hello.
Did somebody check off yoga. There's no way you can
know that already. Yeah, but it's a mistake. Did it?
(40:04):
But he didn't mean it's a mistake when you just
want My husband Mike, and he has a bad hand
eye coordination. He accidentally did yogurt. But we don't want
to do yoga. We just want to do some kundalini yoga.
I can do some condelige yogurt. What is that yogurt? No,
my stro way? Do you want me to put your
cart put? No? No, no, no, we don't do the
(40:26):
yogurt yeasty table side yogurt. I don't want table side yogurt.
I laid down on the floor. I think I have
to obey. Does someone order scanned grafting? Um? No, no,
(40:48):
absolutely not. Just go along with it. We can make
it a his and hearst thing. Playing harder your card
to throw all the until I'm done of the yogurt
a little bit? The hell do you do this thing?
(41:08):
Or at the time you're during this whole time, nobody
means to click yogurt. I don't one mind, one mind?
Hot your pot to the high table. Do you think
you can do all of these things? Because I'm part
of the hot taber, honey, and you're just pushing yogurt.
I'm putting people's skins on other people. You're pushing yogurt.
Death not steering behind this thing that yogurt actually feuds
(41:30):
with the bone. He yogurt doesn't do ship man, you
don't know anything. Fuck man, nobody's coming water skin. I know. Man,
we got so many boats. We have all these boats.
We got this cooler full of beer as right we
got we got this little blitchin speaker that's playing all
the hit songs. That's right. This is supposed to be
(41:53):
a real fun activity. I got my sunlights on the
back of my neck. You all everything. It might be
because of the sign up process, which you mean where
we're we're on like page seven, yeah, and they put
everything else up on the front there. Yeah. Yeah, I
mean we do offer a legitimate water skiing business. I
know this is a colt. We're just subcontractors. Were subcontractors.
(42:18):
We legitimately give people a good water. It's a good time,
you know. I wish we had been in one mind
to sign elsewhere because it's bullshit on one mind, one mine.
Look up on the hill, man, yoga mats are empty. Two.
Ain't nobody going to yoga. That's a damn sure. They've
got a quality mat, so breathable. Anybody working with y'all
down there with the skis. No, nobody wants to skin
(42:39):
anybody up there. Y'all do with y'all? No, man, this
is a damn shame. They're all doing skin grafting and
brain slurps. What the hell brain slur don't want to
know what a brain slurp is? Man, Oh my god,
is that Mike Yes? Is that mikel we'll have for
(43:00):
your brain slopes. Well, we did not order a brain
slur You checked it. You checked it on the card.
You check I might have I don't know. You're covering
a yogurt? What's happening to us? Thank you? We said no,
all right, I need my card, my cart and oh
(43:24):
I forgot straws. I'll be right back, Tony. Can I
can I talk to you for a second? Yeah? Um,
this is really hard to say, but we should leave
their room then if you're going to say something hard
will be right. We'll be just outside the dog Do
you mind just covering your ears? I have yogurt in
my ears anyway? Okay, Well I just by the way, Susanne,
(43:45):
you look very good in your new ethnicity. What this
is really hard to say, Um, but you've been promoted.
That's hard to say that's great, just hard because you
know we're not gonna be working together anymore. And I
just like, I know you're gonna be brain slurping really
promote brains, and you're you're going to be elevated to
the plane of enlightenment and the Pure Pony. And I
(44:08):
just feel that, you know, people forget people. I will
never forget you know, I know that. I know you're
saying that. No, but that's true. Hey, one, I think
I love some ship in here. Hey, congrats on the
Pure Pony stuff. Thank you. We've been waiting for you. Yeah,
it's nice to have a promotion. I just found out.
(44:30):
But I've got one more brain slurp to do. You
don't have to talk to your old cart guy now, No, No,
we're friends though. One mind once you get promoted that
you don't talk to your cart guy really Yeah yeah,
car trash man. Sorry, I need to wheel my cart
through of caspacco plates, Wonder Kids and Sweet thirteen. Wait,
wonder Kids here wondering Oh my gosh. Yeah, it's just
(44:52):
like the Van Hagar Wonder Kid where they've got the
little gremlin. Yes it is. Oh, he's the only one
who signed up for water skiing. There, he's good. Look
at that. Where do you even get that little skis from? Wait?
(45:18):
What's he dragging behind him? A kid? That's your original
dramma one kid. Man. Oh, I love that guy, Susanne, Mike,
I know I was hoping just to rekindle the her marriage.
(45:39):
I love you, love you too. I can't believe we're
surviving this. We're going to get out and we go
back to the kids. Everything's going to be different. Come on, Mike,
let's go. We can go Tatum like one mind, one mind.
It's good. One mind, one mind, one mind, one mind,
(46:05):
one mind, one mind, one mind. Board Hide and that's
our show. Oh man, pretty normal. Let's go around and say,
(46:27):
well up to your market. Catch me every last Wednesday
of the month with Craig Ktkowski at the Beautiful Dynasty
Type Writer Theater. Um Blood and Treasure Season one now
available on Amazon Prime and find me on Twitter at
Mark x Nice Vanessa Raglan find me Dynasty Dakwriter. You
can look on Instagram at Dynasty Typewriter, and if you
(46:48):
want to just see boring pictures, you can go to
Vanessa Hope on Instagram. Um and I just love everyone
Craig Koski Kowski on Twitter, spelled like it sounds see
Kakowski on Instagram, the letter C and the word Koski,
which it never knows to find. Say your name it
(47:12):
Joey at Jeffy Grieber on Instagram. And I'm not in
Hobbs and Shaw, but I think if we get uh,
you know, grassroots movement, I think we can edit me in.
So let's see what happens. Sweet alright, that's right. I'm
at Cole Stratton on Twitter at Stratton Cole on Instagram.
Pretty pre phony first Thursday of the month at Westside
(47:33):
Comedy Theater at ten pm. Come check that out. Let's
thank our engineer Doug Babe, our post sound design artist
Raphael Brito, our producer Sophie Lichtman, and lastly, I heart media.
I encourage all of you to be of one mind,
(47:54):
one mind, and write a review. Tell everyone you've ever
met and write to us at your name here at
alchemy this dot calm. That's your name here at alchemy
this dot com. Until next time, Alchemy
Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This Cole Stratton
here filling in once again for Kevin Pollock, who was
off shooting three thousand miles to Graceland to Elvis has
left the building smut Alchemists for today. She knows exactly
where Carmen san Diego is. Vanessa Ragland the what makes
you such a good gum shoot? I guess there's my
(00:23):
innate curiosity, Thank you. Next, he owns fifty one percent
of Candy Land. Joey Greer, Oh my god, Joey, what's
come Drop Mountain like this time of year? It's honestly,
it's a fucking hell hole. Okay, it's the middle of summer.
It's you don't want to be there, sticky, sticky. Next up,
(00:45):
he saw crocodile Dundee six times in the theater. Mark Gagliardi,
Good night, Mark. Is this a knife? That's not a knife?
This is a nice I'm not supposed to carry this
with me in the studio. Finally, he took the Pepsi
challenge and now he owns the company Craig Koski. Craig,
(01:09):
what variation of kola have you cooked up? Next? Uh,
Cacola it's my own secret family recipe. What's in it? Uh?
My secret family drinking drink PEPSI took a turn. All right,
(01:31):
let's get to our first scene. All of today's scene
suggestions were gathered from our listeners emails. If you'd like
to submit yours, please write to the podcast at your
name here at alchemy this dot com. That's your name
here at alchemy this dot com. Our first scene comes
from Shiler I believe or Skylar not sure who wrote
Dear Alchemists. I'm a very huge fan of the magic
that you, beautiful people are able to spew from your
(01:52):
mouths with amazing grace. I recently learned something that I
thought would make a good scene. Apparently, during the Industrial Revolution,
many formerly lower class British people came to an influx
of money. Even though they had more money, they still
spoken away that marked them as a commoner. So in
order to separate themselves from the poor, they developed a
new posh way of speaking, and it eventually spread like wildfire.
(02:14):
What I think would be a good scene is a
discussion between a committee of people who are trying to
say how they're going to separate themselves from the poor.
Hopefully This wasn't too long of an email and it
makes the cut. Thanks for all the last Skyler. Ps.
I'm an inspiring artist on Instagram and was inspired to
drop my own version of the alchemy this logo. Hope
you all enjoy. What's her hand? Where is it? They
didn't share that, or if they did, Kevin didn't include it.
(02:37):
So find out. We gotta find out. We'll find it out.
We'll find out for a future episode. A little boy
and I want those fur coats. She got off that
you want a fur coat? Yeah, going you know you
can't buy a fur coat. And my son was said,
he wants the boy fur coat. You're gonna get my
(02:58):
son a fur coat. Actually no, we don't have to.
We can reshoot service to anyone, like please go back
to the street urchins. Then it's always coined Dana threw
money at me, boy, poor boy. You must have stolen that,
your poor poor boy. I don't talk to my son
like that. Poor father, poor poor father. Money at you too, money, money, money,
(03:24):
I don't get it. We might be your money now.
We should be living the law. I know, but we
just keep getting pushed. Look at tell more money from
money at it? I don't know what it is. It's
like people don't want to respect us anymore. Son, I
don't know what it is. I think it might be
(03:44):
that way look different, that we look different than everyone else.
We get a fair car than than now that we
are there the sound of your voices, please please get out. Look,
my name's Danny Dyer. You're gonna remember me. You're gonna
know I. That's right, you're gonna remember my boy, Danny Dyer.
(04:08):
I hardly think I need to remember Danny Dyer out
of my first story about here. It's something about us
that's a little different. Well, she did say that your
voice was a bit clawing. Yeah, yeah, where did you
get that fair coat? I nicked it, but I paid
(04:29):
for it. You're nected, boy, you're paid for it. Yeh.
The money, Yeah, but I grabbed that on the way out.
Why did you get the money? Working? Or it's an
influxor manning now to those lower classes created a middle
class because of the Yeah, don't you know about the
industrial revolution? Or didn't get to participant in there? You
(04:50):
didn't get to participate in industrial revolution. It's not like
it's not like a thing that you just signed up
and heard a punch card for it. It's happening all
around us. What is it? Does? What's happening all around us?
I don't see it, lads, I gotta be going to
the off his job. But me, wow, beginning can type
fast with them fingerless gloves stairs and Davy. You see
(05:14):
all these smoke stacks, Yeah, you seem alm s going around? Yeah,
or the steam power that's spewing out the tops of
buildings makings wandering about their See industrial revolution, mate, you're
in the middle of it. So you're saying arm loader
class and your middle class. Yeah, it turns out there's
a thing now called the middle class. My. Yeah, it's
(05:36):
not just kings in popas anymore. My. Well that's bloody confusing. Yeah,
because we sound the same. Well that's how That's why
he got the fur coats, so he know he's better
than you than your fur coat kick talk boys, what
don't mind me, I'm just reading the Piggins peace in mate.
(05:59):
It's got a lot of wars crying of dude. Don't
so your son has had a stroke? What you must
have seen it coming for years then? I thought that
might have been what was going on. Yeah, look is
that now that we are middle class people. The middle
class people get a certain medicine. It's better than the
regular when the regular folks get Yeah, you get the
(06:20):
name brand. You don't get to generic equivalent. Then oh good,
what's the name brand version of fixed my son's stroke? Uh,
stroker stroke or stroker ice, stroker race. It's the best
medicine you can really, it's stroker Race. Are you? I
feel like you might be messing with me because still
lower class. I've got burned before. We went in a
(06:42):
in a first shop and a lady wouldn't want to service.
Give him the stroker Ace generic stroke medicine. He's poor,
he's very that's the thing. Though they've made my money.
Then that's not see, that's the thing. That's exactly what
we're coming up against. I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
I'm literally talking and I'm too free away talking to
(07:03):
my associated pharmacist. Look, if you come back and you
can prove that you've become higher class, we'll give you
the stroke race. Otherwise you get the Kirkland. Well I
do like that. I mean the chocolate almonds by the
Kirkland are pretty good. Get the chocolate almonds, but the Kirkland.
I don't know about the Kirkland stroke medicine. It's not good.
You know we're gonna do it. My son and I,
(07:23):
Danny Dyer and Danny Dyer Senior, Daniel and Danny is
what we go by. We're going to prove to you
that we are upper class. You don't have to drag
your drooling son out of here. Now repeat after me.
Kirkland chocolate almonds, Kirkland chocolate almonds, Kirkland chocolate almonds, Kirkland
(07:45):
chocolate almonds. Good, good, Now you're Danny Jr. Current. It's
gonna be a bit tougher in dr riggans. He had
a stroke battle. Yes, rolling over, we'll try this. I'd
like a vial of Stroker race of stronger. No, no,
(08:09):
said simply no. Good professor. Yes, there's a big party
tonight to do. When you're invited, you can bring two guests. Fancy.
This seems like the right moment for us to prove
how fancy we can be. Perhaps I can pass the
two of you offers sophisticated. Do you think it will work? Well?
(08:31):
We better get cracking. We've we've only got a few hours, right, gentlemen,
I'll take your monocles. Yes, um, right, here it goes
my monocle for you, good man, and a tip for
your service, Thank you much. How are we doing so far? Professor?
You don't check your monocles? That what? Yes, this is
(08:53):
a plant. He works for me, Yes, you work for
the professors. You did, both of you. God damn it.
Hold on your monocles, we professor? How you doing by?
I was seeing you in a blue moon? Well? Hello
by by an army. Now let's then tell you man,
if you want to get it right, you've got to
(09:15):
smoke it. It's a feast that's only got to do.
I don't understand anything understanding. I've known him for he's
two boys, a fine slogs as soon as that a
stroke he has. Yes, my son is at a stroke.
(09:36):
Yeah this morning. Yeah. I beg you know, to get
him something good for it. Then don't give him the strokery.
We got a lot of it there, don't. You've got
a lot of stroker race? Hey, we got a surplus. No,
he's part I can tell he's a part by. Hey,
they come back and you approved, that's wealthy. We'll get
(09:58):
you race how any different? Just do we have to
go to tell us the same damn thing. All right,
we'll prove to you Scottish doctor and an Irish nurse.
You well proved and we'll prove to that the doctor.
Well you're back, are you? Yeah? We got the work. Yes, yes,
(10:20):
you embarrassed me at that society board. But I'm terribly sorry.
But everyone saw you'll check your monocles at the door.
Oh that was the problem. I was humiliated. Look, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, professor, I'm sorry doctor. We my son and
I were just trying to get him some medicine for
a stroke. Yes, everyone's going to know the name Danny Dyer,
(10:44):
not in a positive way. Well, I never thought of that.
I guess were for people to know your name, that's
not hard. Well, what can we do to get people
to know the name all round? All round? To have
a festival of the King and Queen? All her names
(11:04):
will be drawn from a hat said aloud, and fame
will be bestoned. Now, make sure you write your name
in a llegible script that is obviously of an upper class,
and then from there I will read it. Right, Danny,
write your name down all right? Yeah? The stroke that's
probably not going to be superas were you right handed before?
(11:27):
You have write your son's name. I couldn't help it
over here, but good luck getting chosen. I've been taken
calligraphy for forty two years because I'm sure my name
will kitten chosen. Sure, just like when you play bingo,
if you wrote be four in real fancy calligraphy letters,
that's bound together. What you're talking about. You're a peasant.
(11:48):
Bring out your names, bring out your name right here
we go, Dire, just for fun, Daniel Dire. You know what.
He helped us out a lot, Dr Higgins. All names
have been accounted for. The drawing shot against it. There
(12:08):
you are all right, going to the names. First nime
to be read aloud and find bestowed upon them Rosalind, Rosalind, Rosalind.
(12:30):
It's nothing at all, Thank you so much. Second night
to be fined. What soul? It is? This right? Is
it of the upper class? It's righting the bold scandal.
Mr Daniel Dawyer. We should string him up. No, I'm
(12:54):
just trying it. I'm just trying to get me in
a Danny Dayer. Be together, and the Professor Higgins on
aware his houses. Let's go to it, all of us,
the rain in Spain's days mainly and that what the rain?
(13:14):
That was a good one. Are you, Professor Higgins? Yes, yes,
you have coming to trees and Higgin the clown. Come god. Look,
I could identify an accent within two hundred kilometers of London,
(13:36):
and I have no idea where you're from. Then you
have no idea how high? Boys? Everybody murdering? Everybody? Well,
I gotta say for me and my son, Danny Diet
whose name you will remember, it's probably a good thing
that guy that we don't know where's from was just
killed brutally. He seemed to be the one running his
(13:57):
mob were now out. I don't know what. We've got
a whole mom together. Who are we going to kill?
Learn singer strong? What are he saying? Did he say,
let's sing a song? I understood that. Let's do what
Danny boy here says. Wait. Wait's a good idea, Danny boy,
Danny Boy, Oh, Danny Boy, bye, Sory, you'll remember this
(14:27):
song forever and get your stroker race at the pharmacy.
It's beautiful, Professor Higgins, thank you for beautiful boys. Wait
a second, Danny you're talking. Oh my um, he's so kay, Danny,
my son, you've killed You've killed your stroke with the
(14:48):
magic power of singing. I'm back at it. Post mean
letting now never good door sounds so poor killing oa
after that and that, it's the story of how Danny Dyer,
whose name we all remember, commemorate on this day every year,
saved strokes by the power of singing. Happy Dana daya
(15:13):
dia crowns on our heads. Here, get your mutton sticks
out and I sing his song? Shall we probably? Oh?
Good Dame, get your stroker. See that's our See I
(15:42):
knew that's what the song was about. I briefly called
the Chemist. Our second scene comes from Jonathan, who wrote
Creating is Alchemists. Today is my birthday, birthday probably a
couple of months ago. It was good. I was hoping
you could give me with a scene about my rock
(16:03):
band Wonder Kid. Why that's detailing every member you m
I want to write this down. There's me the neurotic guitarist,
band leader, manager. That's Jonathan. Hey, that's not me, Sam charismatic,
gender fluid Dizzie lead singer, Vanessa dan stoned bass player
(16:27):
who's just having a great time. We're just gonna set
this one out. Nate swag tastic drummer who has commitment
issues but is super talented and cool, No problem, Thank you. PS.
Chris Alvarado, you're my hero. Well be sure to tell
him that off runway best Jonathan Alright, wonder kind What
(16:51):
the hell is this? What those are? Crap band? Name?
What is this? Wonder kid? Yeah, listen, okay, you're up
in six minutes. You got that? Okay? And I don't
want any stains. Did anyone want to tell you your
eyes were beautiful? Loosen up that shirt? Why don't we
rip these sleeves off ship? You know, maybe that shirt
(17:11):
could have been expensive? You know what I just want
to say, I apologist for saying it was a crap band.
Off the of the get go, I got like going on. Yeah, sorry,
I just work out because of stress. Um, okay, you
got six minutes, thanks man, Thank you six What an
amazing soul. It feels like your great house out there, guys. Yeah,
(17:32):
I'm pretty excited. It looks like it's gonna be fun.
Who's gonna handle the tasty licks tonight? I am You're
I'm gonna lick all the people is a musical thing.
We're supposed to lick the audience. But Nate, you are
swag tastic. Man, I feel it. I feel it. Oh man,
(17:57):
something's wrong with my stomach. Wrong? What's the matter. I
don't know, there's something wrong with my stomach. I said,
I want Do you want me to operate? I think, Wait, Sam,
are you talk to her? No? I'm not. I shouldn't
have said that. I totally have said that. Oh my gosh,
you guys are something wrong with Tom. Tom we gotta
we's got to operate. Someone has to operate. What why
don't we just call a doctor or something. We don't
(18:18):
have that kind of time. Okay, all right, hold on,
let me grab one of my picks, Scott. Thank god,
bass picks are thicker than regular guitar picks. Yeah, that's
a pretty big incision, man. Yeah. Well, I don't know where.
I don't know what we're looking for, so I figured
I just check everywhere. Can someone pull up an image
of what it's also like? A wonder Kid four minutes?
(18:40):
Wonder Kid four go on? Yes, yes, he's fun. I
mean that drum a little if you need a drummer, wait, dantastic,
Yeah he's not fantastic. I don't know. I mean, it's Phil,
Phil Collins. I'm happy to sit in if you want.
You know what, Phil, It's okay. Wait, I think Phil
Collins is probably not as good as drummer as our
(19:00):
friend Nate, who's currently had his guts ripped open. All right,
well you're not three minutes now, guys. Good look, thank you,
thank you. Philis. Oh god, there's something moving around and
what isn't know? Oh he's gonna get that. Who's gonna
get I just gotta be able to sing, so I
don't want to scream too much, but I am screaming
on the inside. Jonathan, get it, reach in. Oh god,
(19:21):
it's alive. I think he picked up a parasite when
it was in the Amazon last week. Oh my god.
I don't want to freak you out, but look at him, Nate, Nate,
I Blake DRAMs. Wait, what's what's that Nate scribbling? D
n plays drums? You play drums, Weather, But what about
(19:45):
Nate is like a super fan. I'men following these guys
like every city, every everything, every I got to see them.
I've never heard him before, my daughter says, or fun.
I'm just trying to relate to good Oh gosh, good people. Honey,
(20:06):
I'm talking to these people because it's encourassing me. This
is my daughter. I love your eyeliner. Thank you. How
do you say hello to the nice? Aren't you gonna
ask him? Their names are being very polite? Hi, what
are your names? I'm Sledge, I'm Craiger, Sledgend, Craig, Oh, schlegend, Craiger.
What's really nice to meet you. I'm Tom And this
(20:28):
is my daughter. What are you going by? Now? She's
she was born Ashley but as am Off as one
of the ancient aliens, h named after the science fiction
writer Isaac Asthma. Whatever. And you're a big fan of
water Kid, Yeah, particularly Nate. It's the best. He's actually
(20:49):
a good friend of mine. Yeah, I give me he
an actually yeah, here he sla plastic is. Yeah, it's
a really good friend of mine. Say thank you, thank you.
Do you mind if we give your daughter some drugs? Oh? Well,
well it makes music? Feed my daughter? Drugs matter. I
(21:14):
don't know if feeds the right word. If I did,
like put food in her mouth with drugs on it,
well that's feeding. Okay, what honeymore, I've done drugs before,
don't embarrass me. Okay, look, I just want to relate
to you. So some of those drugs, would you just
say this, guys, you, where do you come on? Then
(21:34):
let's go come hey, get out, get out of here. Hey, look,
thank you very much for Genesis. Wonder Kid will be
out of three. They were all right, they were no
wonder Kid. Oh man, No they weren't, are you okay? Yeah,
just the drugs I picked today were real downers, and
I just it's a bad call on my part. I
(21:56):
just should have picked up hers. I just get starting
to field them too. Sorry about that. I gave you
like heavy downers. I'm feeling it to gave you some
brown tones. So hopefully wonder cat'll just lift our mood.
Natal lift mood. Nay, for God's sake, what are we
going to do? He is a dead person. He is
(22:17):
a dead che Grimlin says he can play drums. How
do we trust this grimlin shitty band? Let's say hello, hello,
are you in there? I'm not gonna open the door.
I respect your privacy. Okay. I just want to say
to the band member who sleeves off, I've kind of
really uh thought about myself a lot, and I want
(22:39):
to just let you know that I've called my parents
and I apologized. Okay, that's great, man, beautiful. I knew
you had a beautiful soul. Alright five minutes alright, I think,
oh great, we're getting a little extra type. Did Genesis
go along? They always go along, that's their whole thing. Hey, Sam, oh,
(22:59):
we gotta teach us. You've been living inside Nate for
a while. If you had headphones in Okay, Well, look
it's drumming, so you just kind of gotta field of vibe.
You don't have to worry about notes. It's just rhythm, man.
All right. Well, we're gonna open up with diamond diamonds, right, yeah,
always open with diamonds. Then we can move into swag
(23:21):
of every color. Look, everyone listen up, all right right now? Okay,
I'm feeling a little down, all right, and I don't
know why, but I think we should all just vacate
this venue and just all go outside and just gonna
figure it out. Okay, because face right, do you know
what I think that guy down in front is? Right? Yeah,
(23:43):
I just say, you know, I just I'm not I'm
not even keel, like, I don't know where my middle
is right now. But I am feeling down down long.
Guys having a bad trip. We're all having a bad
want to be at this concert and have an unpleasant time.
Let's moving on out to the parking lots. Do it.
Let's go, Let's get this guy. Friends of Air. Thank you,
(24:05):
thank you. Oh my gosh, you're having a good Hey. Sorry,
wonder kid Gennis As we walked the room, Hi, Evidently
we really bummed him out. What there's nobody out there anymore.
They're on the parking lot. So either you can play
in the parking lot or you can just go play
for an empty room. Thanks for letting us know. Don't
pay any attention to the mess in here. Okay, Phil.
(24:27):
Phil wanted to come back, but he felt terrible, so
he sent me. Mike Rutherford had said. Anyways, I'll see
you guys later. We'll be in the parking lot to
try trying to figure this out for you. Thanks, my Brotherford.
No problem. Well, tiny gremlin, it looks like you're not
gonna get the opportunity to play in front of the
crowd that you wanted to at this rock show. WHOA
(24:47):
I want a kid? Listen, I heard your record in
the puck lot wild. I haven't heard of music like
that in a long time. And I just want to
say somewhere now, this a right here, this is a
Gramlin guy. What the hell it is that I want
to tie? Can you mind? You all leaving the room,
and I just want to talk to this Kip for
a second. Where the rest of the oh, I know that. Yeah,
(25:13):
nothing's gonna happen. Thank you. We'll be out in the hall. Hey, Grandma,
I want to do a solo deal with you. Yeah,
we're not out of the room yet. What's up? We're
still were walking towards the door. Then the cover of ears. Okay,
because I don't want to hear this. I want to
(25:33):
do a solo deal with you, and I want to
give us a second to cover our ears. Just okay, okay,
I'll wait. All right, Gremlin, have some loyalty. Remember we
taught you rhythm and taught you rhythm grim they did.
We're covering our ears, but I'm gonna teach you how
to make a billion dollars, all right, And the first
step is getting rid of wonder kid. All right, you
will be going all the way to the tippy top.
We're gonna have a whole new band around you. All right, Okay,
(25:55):
that's direct. Now go out there and find the band. Yes,
you want to be the man, do it? Fine? Can
we take our hands off our ears now? Hey? Hey,
you can take your hands off your ears now. Yeah,
Semlin came back. See I told you guys, he's honest,
he's loyal, he would never have died. You have to
(26:18):
find your truth. Yeah, I step definded by myself. Okay, yourself, Yes,
I'm got that my own. What what I'm going to write?
Seven minute loud, extravagant balance. Dude? We cut you out
(26:39):
of Nate's stomach. Yeah, man taught you how to drum our.
Drummer is dead because you inside fail Collin's Red. So
I'm going this is about Phil Collins. Oh, I sit
about me. You'll never make it on your own. You'll
never make it on your own. Graham. Yes, I wird
(27:03):
my name like Danny Dyer. Wait, do we even know
your name? Now? She calls you grandma. I thought that
was just short for for Nate's gremlin. It is, that's
what I Yeah, I don't know. It's Rick, Rick, Rick,
your name is Rick? Yes? Did you name yourself? Then?
(27:25):
Ate it before I died. What Courtner Matthew said, soon Rick,
Nate White Wait wait, wait, oh my god, Nate wanted
you to come out. Nate was planning on us, Yes,
he would say soon Rick, soon in the bathroom. Yes,
(27:47):
I am so confused. We never knew about any of that. Oh,
this is the worst Danny Dyer day I've ever had.
I should be with my family, instead we're Instead, we're
here with this tiny gremlin and this record executive who
thinks that this whole falling apart of a band is hilarious.
(28:07):
Oh my god, monster, No, I'm a record man, really,
because I see horns coming out of your hair. She
suit monster whatever. Alright, listen, I really do see coming in. Look, Pite,
I'm not a parrisite. Okay, I'm not cut him open. No,
don't come. Oh you guys. Fuck, we're living inside the
(28:36):
record exactly if you were. Were you trying to get
Rick to go solo. I was trying to bring us
all together so Rick can go solo, but you can
be our drummer again. Yeah. Oh my god, men, thank you, Rick,
Thanks Rick, thanks Rick for everything. Don't damn god, I
(29:01):
see him going. It's like the cartoon dog eats a bone.
You can just see it go down. Oh God, let's
not stand down. God, damn it. That's our second scene.
(29:25):
I bet that's just what the band is like. Yeah,
I hope we did you proud Jonathan. Alright, our third
scene today it comes from Alex. He wrote hello to
Kevin and the Alchemists. I'll tell Kevin I absolutely love
and look forward to your podcast, and I'm ecstatic with
(29:45):
two days instead of one. It makes the commute to
all three of my jobs during the week a thousand
ties more enjoyable, So I thank you for that. That's
a lot. My scene suggestion is two people are invited
to a luxurious retreat to relax and rediscover one's true self.
One person begins to suspect that the place is actually
a cult headquarters disguising itself as a retreat. Have fun, sincerely,
(30:08):
Alex Petonist. Alright, so all the rooms share a door,
and okay, well, isn't it. It's up to you to
open your side, of course, and part of that is
just for all of us to decide how open we
want to be for our time here. Oh my gosh,
(30:28):
this is really beautiful. So we have a list on
the bed of all our activities and one we'll have
different meditations and whatnot wrong. Susanne loves meditating. I do
a good. Oh come on, there is no good and
meditating and just do it. Well, there is a system
and there's a hierarchy. So just knowing that that that
(30:50):
we're all here to work together and help each other
achieve purity and enlightenment and uh meals are Mike, I'm sorry,
I'm just and I'm just a little very package. Yeah, definitely,
I can have someone bring something over whenever you like.
That sounds great. What do you want? You want to
like club sandwich? And I mean, I guess whatever is easy,
(31:15):
and I want something more like a like a you know,
like okay, cable for my wife. Well, we do everything
here is liquid based, so we don't have any solid food. Okay,
that's not going to be a problem, Mike. So like
a soup, like a brothy soup. Yeah, we can do
a soup. That's fine, Okay, all right, I'll roll with it.
(31:37):
I'll roll with it. I'm sorry. I mean, you can
go into town if you have to get something. How
far as town, it's going to be fine, about twenty
kilometers that I don't know. It's about about eighty miles O.
Here is the order both. I didn't even order anyspaca.
But that's that was fast. He thought it and I
(31:58):
made it. Wow. The one mind serves all the one
mind sirs all. Wow, this was piping hot. It will
be caspaco in time, okay, so just leave it alone
to the cools. It takes a while to discover its
true self. Oh it's another thing. It's one mind, one mind,
(32:21):
one mind. What's that? Just a little saying we have here?
The mantra helps the center ourselves. I didn't This is
more than I, you know, was even thinking it would be.
We just kind of unwind and get to know ourselves
and each other again. I guess soon as I guess,
we should say their mantra with him? Where what was it?
You don't have to do that. I know, I'm want
to fit in. Um. What do we say mantra? Was? Uh?
(32:49):
The mantra is one mind, one mind, one mind, one
mind voices that way? Did that? I need to go
to Uh, I gotta get recalibrated. Just hang tight for
a second and I will. I gotta fix myself or
anything else as sustenance. I will be behind the shared door.
Oh good mind, and I will be always listening to God. Well,
(33:14):
this sponge was still really hot. Neighbor, Hello, neighbors are there?
I mean I saw you come in. I don't mean
to it, Druid, Hey, how are you? Guys? You came
right are you? Susan? Hi, Blessing, Hi Howard. I'm closing,
I'm and I'm Clydet. We got here about a month ago.
(33:37):
We're loving it amazing. One mind, one mind, one mind,
one mind mind, one mind. Yeah, so you could even
do extended stays like that if you get part of
the elevated program. They ask you to so actually required
required extended stays sometimes. Yeah, one mind on one mind mind.
So I just want to say, what's up? You guys
are gonna love the pool. It's awesome. It's awesome. Yeah.
(34:00):
So it's super chill, super great and it's mostly water. Now, yeah,
I know the best part about it. What else would
it be? Ye? Well they had mostly water. Yeah, yeah,
it's mostly water. What what was the other ingredients? We
honestly none of us know. But it was lovely it was.
Now it's mostly water, but it might not be long
no one mind one my mind. Yeah, I don't want
(34:24):
to do that. We got crafty, we got volleyball, we
got skin graph, we got kite surfing, you name it.
There's everything here, alright, one of mine and I we
got to bounce out of here. Yeah, and we got
to do our own little guys. Okay, it's nice to
(34:44):
see the pool. It was Carol and Okay, have a
good one. It was Mike and Suzanne. Right, yeah, that's right.
I'll tell him. Okay, this must have cooled down, but
I'll know it is still really hot. It's still really hot.
Don't think about food for five seconds. I'm sorry, I'm hungry. Okay, yeah,
(35:05):
you must wait until your capaco cools. Only then with bigaspaco. Okay,
I don't know what that means, and how would he know,
Like is that a recording? Like I mean, if everybody's
getting the hot gaspacho on arrival, then maybe it's just time. Mind.
I heard you tried the caspaco early. Well I just
tasted it, but it was a little too hot. Even
(35:27):
try it was just too it was too hot, like yourself,
the gaspaco was not ready. Well know when theaco was ready?
W work here? Yes, I made the caspaco. I was here,
but everyone's wearing the white thing and it's hard to
tell you guys apart. It's called a mind robe, and
(35:48):
yours are in your closets. I don't think I want
to please on your mind robes, sus I think we
got to put on the mind robes. You don't like
the gauze hat, well, it's it. It's a little itchy,
but oh it's it's kind of it's really comfortable. What
is this terry cloth? That is for you to find out?
(36:10):
And for us to just tell me the fabric recalibration
session to nine four. Uh, this is Spenser, this is
one mind Gabriel. Sorry for using my Christian name. Oh okay, uh,
I uh forgot the mantra for a second, And I
(36:33):
just want to say on the record that I didn't
mean to. It was just a floup. You forgot the mantra.
I forgot the mantra for a second. The mantras four words,
two of which are repeated, right right. I know that.
I know that. And tell me again what the mantra is?
Uh you know it? I do know it? Yes, do
(36:55):
you know it too? I know it too? Tell me
the mantra. We know what we both know it started.
It starts with a number. Um, starts with a basic
accounting number. Um an accountant? What account uh? Um? Was
(37:16):
it accountant? Was that right? I think the mantra begins
with accountant accounting number? Right? Was that right? Was I wrong?
Did you not say? Okay, I'll give you that. The
first word is one? Okay? Okay? What is that? What's okay?
So the first word is something to do with one?
Now think, okay, think, think with your brainy, think with you? Yes, um, warmer,
(37:42):
um Jacuzzi? What you said? Warmer? That mantra is not
one Jacuzzi? One Jacuzzi. Okay, I know that, I know that,
I know that you know that. I think he's beyond help.
Should be drained him of his in searching time up
in three. You know, I think I'm really having a
good te alright, I'll just grab your cups. Everybody take
(38:10):
a drink. Oh, it's just perfect, perfect temperature. One mind,
one mind, one mind. Um. So we finally have you, know,
a moment alone to be away from the kids for
for a little bit. You look good in that. Can
(38:31):
I give you a little background? Hi? One mind? One mind, mind,
one mind, one mind, one mind. It's the activities crew.
Did you fill out your paper? We're to pick up
your papers. You know what, we'll slide it into a door.
We're just gonna take it. Not a long travel day,
(38:56):
and we were really weird. There's also activities on here. Well,
we'll stand here and wait. We'll do yoga. We'll do yoga.
Check it off, check it off, check it off. The
thing I don't know where it is in the pamphlets
on the back. It's okay yoga, and I checked yogurt.
(39:20):
I'm sorry. Nobody ever picks the activity of yoga. That
all right? On My finger slipped accidentally clicked skin grafting.
Want skin grafting? Why we don't want skin graph I
was trying to check water skin skin grass. We're here
(39:42):
for yoga and water skiing. We clicked yogurt and skin
graft This is so miken't do anything right. Oh, don't
say that. I don't want to just come in. Hello, Hi, Hi, Hello.
Did somebody check off yoga. There's no way you can
know that already. Yeah, but it's a mistake. Did it?
(40:04):
But he didn't mean it's a mistake when you just
want My husband Mike, and he has a bad hand
eye coordination. He accidentally did yogurt. But we don't want
to do yoga. We just want to do some kundalini yoga.
I can do some condelige yogurt. What is that yogurt? No,
my stro way? Do you want me to put your
cart put? No? No, no, no, we don't do the
(40:26):
yogurt yeasty table side yogurt. I don't want table side yogurt.
I laid down on the floor. I think I have
to obey. Does someone order scanned grafting? Um? No, no,
(40:48):
absolutely not. Just go along with it. We can make
it a his and hearst thing. Playing harder your card
to throw all the until I'm done of the yogurt
a little bit? The hell do you do this thing?
(41:08):
Or at the time you're during this whole time, nobody
means to click yogurt. I don't one mind, one mind?
Hot your pot to the high table. Do you think
you can do all of these things? Because I'm part
of the hot taber, honey, and you're just pushing yogurt.
I'm putting people's skins on other people. You're pushing yogurt.
Death not steering behind this thing that yogurt actually feuds
(41:30):
with the bone. He yogurt doesn't do ship man, you
don't know anything. Fuck man, nobody's coming water skin. I know. Man,
we got so many boats. We have all these boats.
We got this cooler full of beer as right we
got we got this little blitchin speaker that's playing all
the hit songs. That's right. This is supposed to be
(41:53):
a real fun activity. I got my sunlights on the
back of my neck. You all everything. It might be
because of the sign up process, which you mean where
we're we're on like page seven, yeah, and they put
everything else up on the front there. Yeah. Yeah, I
mean we do offer a legitimate water skiing business. I
know this is a colt. We're just subcontractors. Were subcontractors.
(42:18):
We legitimately give people a good water. It's a good time,
you know. I wish we had been in one mind
to sign elsewhere because it's bullshit on one mind, one mine.
Look up on the hill, man, yoga mats are empty. Two.
Ain't nobody going to yoga. That's a damn sure. They've
got a quality mat, so breathable. Anybody working with y'all
down there with the skis. No, nobody wants to skin
(42:39):
anybody up there. Y'all do with y'all? No, man, this
is a damn shame. They're all doing skin grafting and
brain slurps. What the hell brain slur don't want to
know what a brain slurp is? Man, Oh my god,
is that Mike Yes? Is that mikel we'll have for
(43:00):
your brain slopes. Well, we did not order a brain
slur You checked it. You checked it on the card.
You check I might have I don't know. You're covering
a yogurt? What's happening to us? Thank you? We said no,
all right, I need my card, my cart and oh
(43:24):
I forgot straws. I'll be right back, Tony. Can I
can I talk to you for a second? Yeah? Um,
this is really hard to say, but we should leave
their room then if you're going to say something hard
will be right. We'll be just outside the dog Do
you mind just covering your ears? I have yogurt in
my ears anyway? Okay, Well I just by the way, Susanne,
(43:45):
you look very good in your new ethnicity. What this
is really hard to say, Um, but you've been promoted.
That's hard to say that's great, just hard because you
know we're not gonna be working together anymore. And I
just like, I know you're gonna be brain slurping really
promote brains, and you're you're going to be elevated to
the plane of enlightenment and the Pure Pony. And I
(44:08):
just feel that, you know, people forget people. I will
never forget you know, I know that. I know you're
saying that. No, but that's true. Hey, one, I think
I love some ship in here. Hey, congrats on the
Pure Pony stuff. Thank you. We've been waiting for you. Yeah,
it's nice to have a promotion. I just found out.
(44:30):
But I've got one more brain slurp to do. You
don't have to talk to your old cart guy now, No, No,
we're friends though. One mind once you get promoted that
you don't talk to your cart guy really Yeah yeah,
car trash man. Sorry, I need to wheel my cart
through of caspacco plates, Wonder Kids and Sweet thirteen. Wait,
wonder Kids here wondering Oh my gosh. Yeah, it's just
(44:52):
like the Van Hagar Wonder Kid where they've got the
little gremlin. Yes it is. Oh, he's the only one
who signed up for water skiing. There, he's good. Look
at that. Where do you even get that little skis from? Wait?
(45:18):
What's he dragging behind him? A kid? That's your original
dramma one kid. Man. Oh, I love that guy, Susanne, Mike,
I know I was hoping just to rekindle the her marriage.
(45:39):
I love you, love you too. I can't believe we're
surviving this. We're going to get out and we go
back to the kids. Everything's going to be different. Come on, Mike,
let's go. We can go Tatum like one mind, one mind.
It's good. One mind, one mind, one mind, one mind,
(46:05):
one mind, one mind, one mind. Board Hide and that's
our show. Oh man, pretty normal. Let's go around and say,
(46:27):
well up to your market. Catch me every last Wednesday
of the month with Craig Ktkowski at the Beautiful Dynasty
Type Writer Theater. Um Blood and Treasure Season one now
available on Amazon Prime and find me on Twitter at
Mark x Nice Vanessa Raglan find me Dynasty Dakwriter. You
can look on Instagram at Dynasty Typewriter, and if you
(46:48):
want to just see boring pictures, you can go to
Vanessa Hope on Instagram. Um and I just love everyone
Craig Koski Kowski on Twitter, spelled like it sounds see
Kakowski on Instagram, the letter C and the word Koski,
which it never knows to find. Say your name it
(47:12):
Joey at Jeffy Grieber on Instagram. And I'm not in
Hobbs and Shaw, but I think if we get uh,
you know, grassroots movement, I think we can edit me in.
So let's see what happens. Sweet alright, that's right. I'm
at Cole Stratton on Twitter at Stratton Cole on Instagram.
Pretty pre phony first Thursday of the month at Westside
(47:33):
Comedy Theater at ten pm. Come check that out. Let's
thank our engineer Doug Babe, our post sound design artist
Raphael Brito, our producer Sophie Lichtman, and lastly, I heart media.
I encourage all of you to be of one mind,
(47:54):
one mind, and write a review. Tell everyone you've ever
met and write to us at your name here at
alchemy this dot calm. That's your name here at alchemy
this dot com. Until next time, Alchemy
Alchemy This News
Host
Kevin Pollak
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.