March 25, 2021 • 54 mins
People return to the jungle to embrace their monkey heritage.
Moon Wizard.
Hot air balloon ride with cats.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Come back to another episode of Alchemy. There's I'm yours.
No you don't come down here and show me. I
know how to use the table saw jeans I digress.
Let's meet alchemis. Shall we know particular? Or please say?
What up to a tool? Sing to a tool? What
(00:26):
are you having for breakfast? Most dates? Oh this is
oh my god, this is a fantastic question. Uh. First
of all, now I'm getting almonds in like two pound bags,
and so I do yogurt, and uh, you should see
the size of the yogurt I get now from the store,
like the grocery stores. Well, you start talking about how
big your breakfast thing is, and it's never gonna end.
(00:48):
No bear naked, some bear naked granola on it. That's
the pricey stuff, all right. I find it on sale
and then I get it. Uh, right now, it's vanilla almond.
That's flavor than I thought. Some more almonds. I like
one almond per bite in my morning. I put some
little honey on it. And then right now I have
strawberry sliced up there in the fridge. Throw that on there,
(01:09):
some bananas. So every morning it's like a couple hours
and then you eat you know what James is right. Look,
I'm not gonna go into my routine. It's pretty similar
to yours, except for one thing at all. I got
rid of the childish granola. Okay, you're not a child anymore.
Dogs you've got you've got the fruit. The honey's even
pushing it. But I'll give you the honey. I'll give
(01:29):
you the honey. Get rid of the g I used
to be like you. I used to be like you,
and then I grew up. Okay, sorry, just wait till
your question comes. Oh look at there, it's James Heeney.
Jinglehnky do what role did you play in your school play?
(01:50):
I've did many. I was a fantastic actor. In fact,
then that's last time we saw him, a nice I
was performer of the year in uh. This was for
this is the music. Please read the fury Ridge High
School Fine Arts Theater Award Male Performer of the Year
(02:15):
James Heeney for Oklahoma. You can't take it, and it's
a separate plate, and you keep take it with you.
Every now and then I'll ask a question that will
spark a moment of reality that is so wonderfully surprising.
And I had no idea clearly what this meant to James.
And also, folks, a reminder, if you're a patron subscriber,
(02:35):
you would be watching the video of James holding his
black and reading from it for all of us to see,
and the exuberant in his face so smiling like that.
It's pretty much he was just hugging. And now here's
(03:01):
Jackie Ruthy jack attack. Do you have a school play
performance that you would like to share? Yes, I mean
I love school plays. I was Gladys in the Pajama Game.
Not a lot of people about the Pajama Game, but
she has a big drunk scene and I was like,
a really, you know, good person, not good person, but
(03:23):
I was very scared of disappointing my mother, I should
say in high school. So I didn't drink, but I
was like, well, I can't have this drunk scene and
not know what it's like. So the night before dress rehearsal,
I got blackout. Um, luckily just with my two you know,
best girlfriends shout out Hannah Corman, Jody l m B.
(03:46):
We were in Jody's den. It was a very safe environment. Um,
but I absolutely gave myself alcohol poisoning I was vomiting
for twenty four hours, um, and couldn't go to dress
rehearsal because just stop vomiting. Yeah, and you thought I'll
drink all the liquor as my for my first time.
(04:07):
You know. It's one of those things where you don't
drink a lot. Yeah, I don't know what you're doing.
We didn't know what we were doing. And it's just like, oh,
like you finished your thing, Like yeah, like okay, finished mine.
It's like okay, Like I don't know. I'm like, how
are you feeling. It's like I think I'm feeling fine.
I don't know, and then you just keep going until um,
(04:27):
just like high school Jackie being like, you know, I
just I gotta feel it. That's great. And I later
find out in life that I'm straight up allergic to
all alcohol. Um, I will throw up after one glass
of anything. So just like, so I don't drink period
(04:49):
because it's just a bad experience for me. So to know, like,
oh yeah, it didn't matter how much I drink that night,
I was going to be vomiting. Some would say you,
that's a blessing that you speaking of. I'm not angry
about it. I think alcohol it turns out, turns out. Yeah.
(05:10):
In fact, there's Chris Alvarado ce a the Ansom. Hey
when did you know you'd finally found the perfect pillow
when I bend over dollars on it? No, that's right,
that's right. Yeah, because some things in life as you
(05:30):
get older are important. Pillow, like a fucking pillow? What
am I a child? What am I drunken child? You
probably tell you what that is. No, I know you're
not a child because you don't put what is it strawberry? Yeah? Yeah,
that's right, thank you, thank you? What are you doing? Gold? Damn?
(05:54):
You got I say? I say, I'm saying nothing else?
Is it fault? I really want to know everything about
this film. It's one of those like firm mask bone ones,
not just like a memory foam where your head just
sinks in. No, no, no, no, yes, a tool. It's
got the shape to it and everything. Yeah. Although I
just read an article saying our cube pillows the best
type of pillow, and that's interest who take the article?
(06:18):
Man Cuban, Cuban, Cuban, Man Cuban brings us to Joey Greer,
Oh my goodness, and last, but may this day never end?
If you think of it's Joey Greer Cramps inducer what
happened to all the dolphin babies. So we're all familiar
(06:39):
with what happened in Sea World with the orcas well,
people aren't familiar with because there's an actual Simpsons episode
where dolphins are like the highest form of being on
Earth and they actually leave Earth at one moment, and
that's what's happening. We're having a mass exodus oh of
(07:01):
dolphins at the moment, and people are thinking, Oh, that's
because of global warming. No, they're going back to their
mother planet, going back to Dolph. Let's do a damn show,
shall we. All of our scene suggestions gather from your
listener emails or from a Patreon v I ps okat
priority placement. To become a patron supporter of the show,
enjoy exclusive content like oh I don't know video of
(07:22):
what's happening right now? Just head on over to patreon
dot com slash. If you'd like to submit a scene
suggestion via email, please write to the podcast at your
name here at Alchemy this dot com. That's your name
here at seen. One comes from Ethan, who wrote, Hello Alchemist,
I love the podcast. It is always a delight to
(07:43):
my ears. I have recommended the show to a multitude
of people, none of whom went on to listen to it.
I see the suggestion is people returned to the jungle
to embrace their monkey heritage. Signed Ethan. Folks who want
to stay in the path want to just stay on
the path. If you could, please, thank you. I don't
know if you realized this, but I'm kind of related
(08:06):
to the jungle inhabitants here. What's happening? Dad? Don't, Dad don't.
I don't think he realizes we're coming back to our roots. Sir,
if you could just make your son's got a point,
Let's keep the shirt on and also stay on the path,
if you could, please do you? Okay, Well listen. You
might have been a tour guide for a lot of Normans,
but me and my family were second generation debunked debunk
(08:33):
I know what this individual is gonna say. This individual
gonna say that we as human beings emerge from some
kind of sess pool, and then monkeys came out, and
then we did well. I have a question for you, sir,
and you're in you're awesome plan of science and be us.
We have all from monkeys, but happened? They're still here?
Wouldn't they have been whipped out and did the debunk? Deep?
(08:59):
Have a for you? Yeah, that's right. I have a
question for you. Have you ever heard of um? I
don't know God? Have you heard heard of that guy?
Have you heard of God? Have you ever even heard
of him? N you hear your son? Can you hear
your son? Your son has been asking for your attention
and you have not been able to give any attention
(09:20):
to your son. Have you heard of God? Hey? Don't
you dare talk to my child about God? Okay, we've
got our answer the question. Instead answer the question. Okay, Yes,
I've heard of God. And I am not saying that
your God doesn't exist. I'm just saying that you can't
say that. You can't say that. Son, If you want
to come with us, will give you a new name.
Your name will be this tour group and we're going
(09:45):
to the woods. Mitchell Manly, mich Manly. You like sweets?
I got a backpack full of them. You like that
merchant for Malely? Alright, son, now it's the big chance
you make a choice. You either stay with this too.
A group of strangers and one guy that thinks he
knows what he's doing. It tells you to stay in
the path. Or your dad who's like yours to the monkeys,
(10:11):
come with me to the woods. Ladies and gentlemen, get
ready for the most popular pastor in Pasadena, California, triple
m himself. Sorry, right there, we kind of slipped up
on the word pastor. Okay, it's not the milk, it's
(10:33):
not the dairy product. It's like another term for priests,
pastor past Say it again to pastur pastor, like like
a former tour you went on. There we go, just
take it again from the top. M hmm. All right,
everyone stand up and make some noise for the most
(10:54):
famous pastour in Pasadena, California, triple m himself, and you'll
be able to put in the actual music. Right. I'm
not gonna have to continue this on or would you
we need you to do that? So how long? What's
the time? Snap on them? And so I ask you, congregation,
(11:19):
did I live? Did I live in the jungle with
my daddy? The answer is the answer is yes. The
answer is yes. Did I question? Did I question whether
or not God was real? No? I gotta be honest
with you. I did I question question. Question? Do you
know what happens when you question? Now? He gives He
(11:42):
gives you the answers. Now, Congregation, I have a special guest,
not you. You know, he already knows who he knows,
he knows who he is from West Covina Chapter of
our church. Put your hands together for Peter, Paul and Mary.
(12:09):
It's oh my god. Yeah, yeah, this happens all the time.
It's not the band, it's just me. Uh. Mark, you're
it's always a pleasure to be here in your congregation. No, no,
it's all. It goes around. What comes around, um, but
(12:30):
goes around, It goes around. Peter, Peter, we brought you
here today to share your story. Now they've heard my story.
Did I live with my dad and the monkeys? I did? Yes,
I did. Peter has a similar story. I have a
similar story I was. Let me take you back to
(12:51):
that day, take us back, all right, Welcome on to
the uh this is the s S. Maple Thorpe. We're
gonna be going across the ocean. Here, the beautiful beauty
of the SSP. Captain and Mary Cryptain and Mary, I uh,
I'm a little concerned. I feel a little sick. I'm
(13:13):
not used to being on a boat, and I'm wondering
if there's like I don't know, something to some sort
of like bag or something. You know, who's that see?
You know who was out to see Jesus Christ. And
it was a stormy night. It was a stormy night.
And you know all those fishes, he made them fifty million,
(13:35):
he made them. Deborah, Ellen, if you two could just
go back down below deck so we could get those
cabins um dressed and clean. They'll be dressed. Don't worry
about that. But it's confiding to to talk to everyone
else that's on. It's so my congregation here. If I
was interrupt you believe Deborah and Ellen were angels? Isn't
(13:59):
that right? As it's my story? Mark? But yes, yes,
so he believes he believed he was talking to angels.
Let me let me take you back to that us back.
It will get clean. We will clean that deck. Don't
worry that the beds are gonna get made. Ahead, let
(14:20):
me skip ahead a little bit. I think would that part.
I don't know why I always go back to that part,
but because he met angels. Yeah, an hour later, this
is back in my past an hour later. This treasure
map right here will lead us to Old Brion's Gold.
I'm telling you right now now if we just follow this,
(14:41):
oh my god, let's clean that up right away. I'll
get clean the vomit on the dike floor. It's not good.
That's that's fabulous diak floor, you know. And the vomit
was red part of man vomit was read much like
the Red See congregation. It's a big part of the story. Mark.
(15:06):
So I'd usually like to tell that part. Take await,
Let's let's go. Let's go to your past tour. Hey,
I'm started coming to the green room, Teter Paul Mary,
Am I saying that correctly? If you want to talk
to my client. First of all, uh, what is your name, sir?
My name is Don Tutor. I represent uh most of
(15:28):
the evangelical powerhouses here in southern California, right right? Yeah?
Are you here to to snatch up my incredible talent?
Is not at all. I just wanted to come and
let Peter Paul Mary know that I had a fantastic
time and it looked like that crowd of like three
to four people that could have been even a better
story with maybe three to four thousand. How does that sound? Oh,
he's gonna sell you bill of goods now, Peter three
(15:50):
to four thousand. I'm I'm listening, Phil, give us a second. Yeah,
did you want that cappuccino? Um? See if they have
a lot to If not? Yeah, caps, fine, almond milk.
You know me do the same. And don't you forget that? Okay,
(16:11):
I'll be right back, So don to Why don't we
cut the fucking ship? Whoa? No one talk to me
that way, especially not in the house of God. Also, God,
let me show you something. Look at my wallet. Do
you see all those bills in there? Yeah? What are
those candies too? Yeah? They are the candy bills. I'm
(16:32):
not allowed to bring our actual money out because I
spend it too quick. But I make a lot of
a lot of dollars, all right, and I can make
you und dollars all right? What kind of CARDI drive? Wait? Well,
right now, for appearances, have a Nissan Sentra. How about
we do this? How about you start driving around in
the gene wagon. Let people know that God works in
(16:52):
mysterious ways of gens wagging me to the jeans all right?
You know what I'm gonna stick with my manager. I
think I've gotten the vibe. You're dumb as hell, so
part of me, Pam, Pam, as part of the congregation.
I just wanted to say I could feel the Holy
(17:13):
Spirit working through you today. Yes, can you feel it? Yeah? Yes, yes.
So I was going through the records, um, just I
was in my prayer book. In my prayer book, your
name came up. I realized you pulled your tithing, hold
your tithing, Pam. Yeah, Pam. We're gonna need you to
(17:36):
double down the tithing. We need of whatever comes into
your house to give to God's house, so you can
give to me, so I can open the front door
for you. But here's the thing I've been saving up.
I'm gonna trying to get to the jungle. I'm trying
to just get in touch with my roots and jungle,
to get in touch with my dad. Isn't it right?
(17:57):
You want to see if I've been lying or not?
Is that right? Pam? It's it's really it's about me
about your dad. A little bit about your dad, but
it's really about me connecting with my roots and maybe
finding I love in your best best of luck? Did
you see him tell him. I said, what, tell him
(18:21):
him best of luck? You see my dad? Tell him, like,
what what you've got to share that with me? Give
it to me. I'm suing hungry. Okay, we're a family here.
(18:42):
God damn it, God damn it. You look over to
your luck, you'll see family, won't. You're right, it looks
like excuse me, excuse me. I'm sorry, I'm covering my genitals.
Don't look down there. Um Hey, yeah, that's all. That
(19:11):
was the whole show, I know, Jesus crime. Oh that's
a third ball. Everybody two comes to picture a comaniac
who wrote high there Alca Motley crew just thought of that.
He wrote to make things more efficient. While submitting scene suggestions,
(19:35):
I want to present a standard intro. It goes like this,
first time listener, longtime caller, love from bird buttermilk Jones.
Two words for the scene suggestion, Moon wizard ps. Just
in case you forgot I love all of you. You
bring me the most joy. Mike. Okay, you wanted to
reserve a table for six? Is that right? That's right?
(19:58):
What was the name for that reservation? You can put
it under my wife's name. Jody Hannah, Jody Hannah put
it under my husband's name. There are so many Jody
Hannah's put it under Moon Wizard. Oh, I'm sorry, is fine,
just put I see why you wanted to put it
(20:19):
under Tell you what we do folks in this situation.
If you want to put it under like Tim Smith
or something. No, just my wife's name is fine. It
seems that she's not comfortable up there. Don't talk to me,
don't talk to put it under Tim Smith. I don't
want to talk right now. Okay, I don't want to talk.
(20:42):
So you picked this restaurant, you know expensive? This restaurant
is hold on what sec I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
My husband is too embarrassed because he's a big fan.
Could I get your autograph? What? I don't give a ship?
He's funny, he's funny if you get to know me, hilarious.
(21:04):
But we're both big fans of all the magic that
you created. Could you could you just give me one?
Could you give me an autograph? Um? Sure? Just to
be clear, me and wife have plenty of friends, so
we're not really looking for new friends. So I'm not
trying to be friends. Um should I'm making a table
of aid? No? No, no, no, no, no. Let me
go ask my husband if he might, if you can.
(21:27):
When he comes back, just say that the table of
aid is gone. You only have a table six table,
a table for ten. Whatever you'd like. Mr. No. Six
would be great. Joy might right this. Don't suck this up.
You know he's my one. Okay, he's my one. This
is Moon fucking Wizard. What are the odds of that
keeps on changing? Okay? You one keeps on changing. One.
(21:49):
That's the one. That's the one. We got a chance
to sit with, Moonwizard. Okay, just please don't mess this up.
I'm not gonna be cocked while I have dinner, all right,
I'm not gonna do that, all right, please please, I'm
looking for a Jodie Hannah one moment, please, Okay. I'm
(22:14):
with them, with the I'm with the FBI. Um, I
need to tell you you are in danger. Okay, now,
um here's here's here's the truth. Four other Jody Hannah's
have been killed in the last three days. Now there.
As you probably know, there are a lot of jokes
of Hannahs. Of course, none of those Jody Hannah's are
(22:34):
married to Moon Wizard, so maybe that um, provides me
some protection. Is there? Have you figured out the correlation
outside of the world, outside of the name, I mean,
perhaps they were in some kind of organized crime syndicate. Huh,
(22:55):
just made up of Jodie Hannah's. Do you think the
club hand Love that I wasn't invited to and that
I wasn't leading. Okay, so you were not invited, nor
were you leading Hannah club. I assume there are other
Jody Hannah's because there are two common names. I don't
know that there are other Jody Hannahs, and I certainly
(23:17):
don't know other Hannah's and just resently, but none of
them were married to A. And I'm just getting emotional
because the thought of anyone dying hurts my soul. Not
I know that I have photos right here you can
look at you can look at this. Oh and that's truesome.
(23:38):
And I didn't realize it was going to sweatpost. I
don't need to see that. That's necessary. Careful, who is
it I am booking for Jody Hannah? Um? Well, well,
(24:02):
who is it? I am looking for Jodi Hana. I'm
not gonna open the door because we just had like
a weird guy just come to the door and kind
of freak my wife out. Um so, um, no, thanks
were not interested. I'm looking for Jody Hamma, okay, and
(24:23):
I have here. I have one chef salad. You can
just passed that down. Please have administrating soup here. Um,
will your other guests be arriving? I know you said
table for six and it's only two of you are think, yes,
they'll be here. It's our it's our it's our grown kids.
They'll be here shortly, so don't worry about it. I'm
not worried. It's just you've you're gonna You've already started eating,
so I didn't know. You'll get a good tip. You'll
(24:45):
get a good tip, all right if I actually donate
the tips. So it's I mean, it'd be nice to
help help the organizations I donate to. And you're just
a millionaire who's who's waiting? Tables on the side a
millionaire place? But it be in front of that. I'll
be right back. What was that? That was weird? Right? Um?
(25:09):
It makes me nervous? Yeah, I mean, this is just
a weird day off. And babe, I'm sorry the children
aren't coming. Oh and I did text all of my
friends the four of them, and they're not coming either.
(25:31):
I tried to get backups. Um, they're not answering. I
don't know. I'm sorry enough there, But my wife really
wants to come over. Please. We're just trying to have
a dinner. Yeah, me too, Me too, But I can't
have a dinner because I didn't get to choose to restaurant.
And then my wife, she's Moon River wherever the hell
his name is Wizard whatever, okay, and and she wants
(25:54):
to go over here. She wants to make love to
him so close to my face. I want get closer. No,
you're spinning, you're spinning, and it's my My cheek is
now moist well considered a free appetizer, buddy, Why don't
you hang out right here? Moon was it? I'll be
right back. Let let me go talk to your wife there. Um,
(26:16):
Oh your name, my name, it's Lucy. Lucy. Let me
just get one thing straight. You're never gonna suck my husband.
Oh my god, are you really fucking serious? Are you
gonna come over here? Well, you don't realize, lucky girl,
is that he's by the one. Okay, lucky girl, Honestly,
(26:39):
you should just take him. Man, just get off my aunts.
You want to do like a swap thing. No, no, no, no, man,
I just want to be free from this. How why
don't you just break it off? I can't because are
our marriage was bound by God? Oh I don't have
the powers of human beings. Imagine having four best friends
(27:00):
they all have your same name, and they all die
gruesome death, and they're gonna call me a lucky girl.
And then can you try to find my husband? That's
how your plan is. You're trying to part of the planet.
It wasn't part of the plane. Listen. It's just that
if you really love your husband, don't you want to
know if he makes love to another woman? Are you
(27:22):
still your behind? Oh? I thought you were an actor,
So you're actually you do magic with the power of
the moon? Yeah? Yeah, I used like neap tides. Yeah,
but I do magic based off of it. I don't
know that. Yeah. Yeah. Do you like the soup? Yeah?
Oh my god? This was your wife, wasn't it. Yeah
(27:45):
that's fine. You're you're a guest at my table. That
guy was so hungry for tips when he came over
to our table. I got the complete opposite vibe from him.
When he came to ours. Now, imagine wearing a wig
and then just close your eyes and think about the
one person that you want to be fucking. But then
just suck your husband. You know what I'm saying. I mean,
(28:06):
I've been doing that for years. It just doesn't do
it anymore. I need your husbands. If she it's hard
for me. I'm trying to relate to you. Maybe make
a female friend. I've lost all of them, and you
keep talking about sucking my husband, and that's hard. I
didn't and I just, uh, director, FBI director, I've actually
(28:28):
forgot your name, Sarah. No. Um, well it's on the desk. Great,
Ut I can't at the moment I've put together at
what's going on here? Just read the name. Look, I
can't read letters, but I can read people, people, details,
(28:51):
people and details. You gotta a natural sense to this
own thing. Part of natural sense to this sort of thing, sir. Now,
I have a theory here that's a little while. But
hear me out. I mean that's why you hired me.
Can you really not read? I cannot read, sir, Yes,
I can read. I can read read details, bread a
(29:16):
natural senses, natural senses and all that. Now, so obviously
we're looking for the Jodi killer, right, and you know
there's been uh you know this and that and some
clues and so no clues. I can't read the documents, sir,
but here's what I did read. Last night. I went
outside my shirt off. I have one cigarette a day.
(29:37):
And during that cigarette, sir, I looked up at the moon.
And do you know what the moon did? Um? It
winked at me, sir. It winked at me. Now, why
would the moon wink at me unless it was hiding something? Now?
Who do we know has the name of moons? Oh? Yes,
(29:58):
I love the Smashing Pumpkins. I'm one video they did
tonight tonight, tonight tonight. Yeah? Did you were you able
to kill your Jody Hannah? I have killed four Jody Hans.
I believe that must be all the Jody Hannas to kill.
There's one more, but I'm sorry. I just got lost.
(30:20):
The My cars is not great. Doesn't have GPS. So
God doesn't have GPS. No, it's a older car. You
have to use your phone. I've got the next row one.
Stay here, I'll be bar No, don't where are you wait? Wait? What?
What need one? I don't need it right now. I'm
just trying to get the Telly. How many Jody Hannah's
(30:41):
are actually left? But you've got four. It's really good.
You should you should be the main, the main. You know,
you should be in charge. You should be the director,
the director. Yeah, you should be the director. Oh eybody,
I see those two naked guys just talking to each
other the scene too. Oh yes it is. Don't you
(31:06):
think for a moment that's not seen too, because that
seem too same. Three listen to us via email. You
don't come from Caen, who wrote, Hey, Alchemys, just wanted
to share how I came across your podcast. I'm a
chemist and I got tired of just listening to music
(31:26):
all the time at work, so I just sended to
venture into the podcast world. I knew I wanted a comedy,
and while scrolling through titles, Alchemy naturally caught my eye
and I just had to give it a try. I mean,
how could you mix between alchemy and comedy and the
go wrong? I'm so glad I did too, because you
guys are amazing. I mean, there's not much chemistry, but
(31:54):
so so she goes on, but I'll take care of
that all. I'm listening you guys. Definitely take care of
the comedy part. I do have a scene suggestion. Hot
air balloon ride with cats. Thank you all for you do.
(32:14):
How many? How many? Um, well, there's two of us.
It's just us too. It's just us two. We got
these bags and I figured we'd wear these stick jackets.
You've reserved this ride just for the two of you. Yeah,
it holds a uh huh. Okay. And what are the bags?
(32:38):
Those are our personal bags in case we want snacks,
very large snack bags. Okay, go, come come on board.
What what is the name so I can just check
you off the list? Snidel Snidel That's what I've got.
It's not snidle. If you could be sniddle, it could
(33:00):
be still. I mean, it's your name, whatever it is
it is. Yeah, of course it's it's snidled. If it's
up to me, it's snidle. Op. You're a little wobbly there.
Come on, I'm boring. Let's get you careful, let's get
you conceited. Um. I'm just gonna go get the snacks
and I'll be right back. Okay. I cut the cut
the ropes, honey, cut the ropes. Honey, come on, he's
(33:23):
gonna be back, and he stuck and cut the ropes.
I don't. I don't have a knife. He's alread have
a knife. Buck, He's never gonna let us toss these cats.
You gotta get up there. We have to toss the cats.
Maybe that was the whole plan. That's why we're here,
that's why we made the reservation. Well I thought we
were going to try to go up by ourselves. Well, no,
(33:47):
we got this is reserved for us. Well, it doesn't
look like anyone here has got a hatchet. Luckily, I
don't we just cut these lives. Why would you do that?
Why would do ah? My wife and I had this
(34:12):
for private, for us. I don't know who you two are.
Absolutely no problem, Tina, and I'm actually your tour guy today.
I will be running the balloon. I'm fortified to run
the kerosene lamp and make sure everyone goes up up
when they want to go up, and go down down
when they want to go down. Act like I'm not here.
That's a kerosene lamp. Yes, it's very powerful, but it
(34:35):
is just a kerosene lamp. Back in the day. This
is a fun fact back in the day. It was
actually fueled by um uh, it was a whale fact,
it was whale fat. I'm gonna call it fat because
it was a little too cute. And uh, we don't
like to think about death when it comes to cute
at the end of the day. And to get the fat,
(34:56):
they got to kill the motherfucker right. Take my hand
up there and see how it don't melt your bones.
Listen to me, buddy, Listen to me, buddy. Right now,
there's treasure. There's treasure. Go hang you know, and that
(35:18):
and that and that does happen sometimes. So I want
you guys to please stay within Uh this delineated bold
it's going on. You barely reacted to that man falling
off balloon. That man was not even supposed to be here.
That doesn't matter. Why aren't you reacting to a guy me? Okay? Um,
(35:40):
I thought you were having a problem with your lover
not being an empathetic person. For me, I'm a professional.
This is my job. I have seen that more than once.
I've actually seen it more than thrice. And uh, I'm
actually trained to be desensitized. I'm supposed to act like
I'm not here. I'm a part of the balloon unless
you want fun facts in which I'll shoot him out you.
(36:01):
But just act like I'm a part of the balloon. Tommy, Hey, Tommy, dude,
wake up, wake up. I just saw some fucking I
think it was a guy fall out of that balloon
up there. Come on, we gotta check this out. You're dreaming, man,
Just go back to sleep. No, I was wide awakes.
(36:21):
Where to god, I was wide awake. I was sitting up.
I was looking at the clouds, and then the balloon
took off. So I watched that for a bit, and
then one of the people in the balloon either jumped
out or was pushed out. And this is why we
got to go check it. All right, let me get
my wallet on my phone. I just sleep, Mr walk
(36:41):
it's just over there, all right. I just still need
the house keys. Let me take. Someone's gonna ask for
your I d between here and there. I take. It's
like it's like a security thing. I just have it
on me. Okay, all right, but your keys about leaving
the keys mind? You don't trust me. This is a campsite.
I'm gonna tell one's gonna sir. You felt from way
(37:02):
up there you. Okay, listen to me right now. Listen
to me. You're hurting me. Treasure, there's treasure where. Pick
me up? Pick me up? Tell me there. I can't
lift you up here they are tell me, hey, oh hey,
you found the guy. He fell out of the balloon. Right. Oh,
(37:24):
his hand is completely bones. What the funk uppend you
talk to him? What happened? Pick me up? He sup,
I'm a child. I can't lift this, grown man. We
can tell what You're a child by your body. Yeah,
you have a job. Body will help you out of it, eventually,
I'm sure, will you. I'm sure this is one of
(37:44):
only two ways that somebody could leave. Of course, she's
seen this happen a whole bunch of times. But no,
uh honestly, my my love, brew and I just kind
of wanted to ask private time we're gonna we're gonna
make out here. I'm not here the part of the blue.
I'd rather not be looking while we're making out makes
me feel weird. Well, here's the thing about safety on balloons, right,
(38:06):
I gotta keep my eyes all around. I've got it. Oh,
let's put the cats here right, his hand is completely
oh my god, oh oh my god. Oh she just bounced.
(38:31):
She just bounced under her feet. Oh my god, that's
the sikest thing I've ever seen. You're right, Yeah, you
couldn't imagine how many times I'm pushed out of my
own balloon. What happened? You were pushed out? I was
pushed out, and luckily, because of past pushes, my legs
are actually mostly titanium and pins. So as long as
(38:53):
I land on my feet, I'm not feeling much and
I've got great shock absorbition. This guy fell out of
out of a balloon too, my same balloon. Hey man,
nice to see you again. Pick me up, Pick me up.
There's treasure. No one can pick them up. I'll try.
I'll try and give it a try. Don't touch the titania. Yeah,
(39:18):
if only, if only my hands are on my feet. Yeah,
my arms are completely just flash, just human flesh and bones.
So what's going on? How come you both fell out
of a hot air balloon? Hey, little boy, where are
your parents? I don't have your parents? And how come
you two guys aren't wearing any pants? We just we're camping.
(39:40):
So are you carrying your wallet and your underwear? He
likes it's a security thing. Are you answering for him?
We're kiddy because he doesn't feel well. Look at him.
We're camping over there, all right, So do you just
toss them all at the same time? I want to
watch each one bounce. They say that the cats land
(40:01):
always land on their feet. Let's prove this theory. Maybe.
Oh God, we're getting pulled over by the hot air balloon.
Please pull it over, take it down to the can
you guide me on hot? Take it to the crowd,
to the baby fucking wait, let's go. Let's go to
the lampa. Go towards the moon. Oh okay, baby, okay,
(40:27):
how about this? Every time we pick up a cat
and throw it over the side that we kiss? Oh yeah, baby?
Do you like to kiss? You think kissing is hot? Huh?
One day, go further than kissing. But right now it's
just kisses and cats, kisses and kick get it? I
get it? Kisses and Catsum, what are you doing? What?
(40:52):
I'm an angel? All right, you can't do that. We
gotta go lower, We gotta go down. Asks kill me.
I'm an aeous. Turn the lamp down. All right. Look,
I'm gonna freeze you all in your place because I
do have that. I'm bestowing powers by God. Have you
ever heard of him? You ever heard of God? Debra
(41:15):
and Allan here the angels listen, and all those cats
go to heaven. We want to kill we have we
had the choice to kill the cats. And then my
parents had love up there, made love up there in
the pack, and they loved up there. They loved up there, y'all. Now,
(41:39):
my congregation, do y'all feel love? Yeah, this is the
best part. So my parents climaxed, and that's where it
was conceived, was in a hot air balloon. What do
you mean climax um when a man sorry sorry sorry
party uh Peter Park and Mary out my congregation. They
(42:02):
don't know about sex. Oh, they think they were all
they were all beamed here intelligent design designed. So if
you could kind of like make this part a little
you know what? God, God pam Okay, So where wise,
(42:26):
I let me take you back to that day. So
now my parents are in the hot air balloon. So
all those cats went to heaven, that's right, and they've
all been given saintly names. And you know what heaven
looks like for a cat looks like a beautiful jungle.
All the trees that they could climb, imagine all of
(42:47):
the bark that they could scratch on. They love it.
And when they get there, you know, God, you ever
heard of him? That's what he's saying in the whole time.
And some people find that a form of arch, but
the cats love it because it's the first couple of bars.
I'm gonna do the jungle, and he starts again. Hey,
(43:10):
we're gonna relieve you of your angel duties. Okay, made
excuse me, but here we go. Lucifer coming up. You're
telling us what we gotta do. Huh, I'm giving an assignment.
I just need to let you know, the most beautiful
of them all come in here to tell us we
can't do our job. Have jurisdiction here. You don't have
jurisdiction here, Yeah, I do. I want you know listen,
(43:34):
you're going back. You're going back to Earth, but you're
not going back as humans. You're going to the jungle.
What's gonna be a whole like a Michael situation. Oh
my god, Michael, Yes, I love so Wait. The treasure.
The treasure was just this rested out car. Yeah, if
(44:00):
you fix it up, it'll be worth it. Thousands cars depreciate.
That's a fact. They actually the value only ever goes down.
It's it's not a good investment vehicles. You must have
titanium in your brain too, because you're smartest act. And
that's what they say. They say tinyanium in the brain
actually makes you extra smart. So I make sure to
(44:22):
shoot myself up with some of that every morning. There's
a titanium drug I don't know about. It's a liquid form.
Imagine you've ever seen logan? Is that? Is that the
second part of Michael? Yes, well, I'm glad we just
(44:42):
we just skipped second and third base and went right
down to smash it. Awesome. Oh if we didn't even
have to throw the cats out. This is great. This
is great. Now, hopefully they'll be a little one of
you in my belly soon. What the funk are you
(45:03):
talking about? What? What the funk are you talking about?
Get your hands off me, get your hands on the
wait to hold them up? Hold on, dude, got another one.
Well you came. Wait you're the person who was never
lets you down. That's a good motto. But wait, the
(45:27):
balloon with less weight in it, won't it just keep
going up and up? Who's left on board? Are there
are a bunch of people still? Just one sick man
who deserves to be burnt up by the sun. What
the why? You know? Why? Uh? Tyler Um, You're you're fired.
(45:50):
You let a balloon go up with two people, right? Uh?
And then two other people one up there? Well, I
just two people signed up, Claire, the name was on
the list. They got on board, and then I went
to get their snacks and then they were gone. That's
the that's the thing. Yeah, you're the one making these
snacks for people. You're trying to implement it as a
business wide standard that we don't do snacks. That's yeah.
(46:15):
And when you do that, you vacate your position and
people to jump in or steal it or get an
extra forty bucks. And usually goes pretty smoothly the first
time that someone just decided, we'll look, we'll just go
up in the air on our own. So how's that
my fault? Because if you let it happen, you let
it happen. That's why it's your fault. I've heard enough.
I've heard enough. I've heard enough. Look, I owned this company.
(46:40):
Clearly you both worked for me. Bob. I put a
lot of responsibility in you, a lot of power in
your hands, and I thought, you know what's up, talk
to me your moonlight as a goddamn server. And then
you come over here just when, just when you want
to hold court so you can just harass us. Excuse me,
just hey, hey, this dude is a fucking billionaire man,
and if he wants to, I'm sorry, change that. Put
(47:03):
a team in front of that just happened this week. Congratulate.
Can I just the greatest, greatest boss I've ever had
in my life. And this fucking dungleberry here does not
deserve to work for you. Okay, I've heard you both out.
Now I need to the truth is, I'm gonna get
(47:23):
rid of the whole company. I need to ask you
one quick question, though, quick anything? How do you know
about my newest invention? What titanium? Tina's not a real person.
I built her? What her? What? I fell in love
with it. We're gonna engage. Is your job also to
(47:45):
kill the Jodie Hannah's of the world. I actually I
run just hot air balloon tours. I'm a tour guide.
I don't funk with Jody Hannah's. I tried to fuck
wanted the Jody Hannah's how husband and uh after that,
I was like, no, no, no, I'm gonna I'm gona
back off. Uh just to take people through the sky,
(48:10):
let them know fun facts, keep them safe because uh
not sky Knit, it's actually a it's an air hot
air balloon company and it's called hot Balls in the Air,
And it's my job to keep everyone safe, keep them informed,
and let them see the world from a different point
(48:30):
of view, from a different perspective. Is that the one
with the logo with the three balloons right next to it? Yeah,
it looks like testicles, but it's three. Now. Look, Bob,
I'm giving you this courtesy because I can tell you
were really in love with her. Here's her GPS tracker.
Now she's gonna die now, So you got a fighter
because I'm pulling the plug. She's already served her mission.
(48:52):
And make me some snacks today, Go ahead, professor love
man Jackie, thank you so much for coming back and
(49:14):
joining us. You're such a delighting You help us all
forget about Joey and it's just so appreciated, even if
it's just for an hour. Um, you know, I have
such a blast coming on here, So I really appreciate,
I really appreciate the invite. Thank you for having me.
Thank you. Would you like to uh tell folks where
they should go to find your wares? Can you believe? Um?
(49:37):
I took a little page speaking of Chris Alvarado popping
up into people's answers. He's not. He's popping up into
this one in a different kind of way because I
have a website now. Sometimes when you're writing and you
don't feel like writing, you do other things to waste
your time. And I made myself a website that's Jackie
Gonzalez druthi dot com. No hypens, no no fancy, just
(50:02):
all of it. Boom and you got everything there, everything there, links, links, links,
pictures of video you had links to Chris dash Alvarado
dot com. Yes, okay, good, good, good good. Thank you
very much. I can't wait to check out the new website.
Chris Alvarado, Thank you, pal, Thank you boy. What a joy. Tool.
(50:26):
Love playing with you, Jack you love playing with you, James,
I love playing with you. Joey, I love playing with you. Kevin,
I love playing with you. But I want to use
the remainder of my time just say Jackie Gonzalez the
Ruthie dot com. You'll get on it, you guys. I
did a photo shoo find myself on this wall, jack
I cannot wait long. Jie White, no one had that
(50:53):
domain name. And there's two here. Just take this one.
Got this off our hands. It's too much one to photos. Jesus,
this is funny. Listen, Wow, look at Joey's in real
time looking at it. You know dot com it's a
(51:17):
great website too. I love it. Come on, forget the
dash I couldn't get. James Heeney, thank you so much
for being here. Thanks for having me. Uh we should
really get all of our web pages inter linked because
three James dot com. You'll find the live streams that
even help me? This does any live streaming that I'm
(51:40):
on is in my calendar updated? Can you put a
link to everyone else's site? I should be able to?
I mean, yeah, absolutely what I would want to make
a link for everybody else. Give me a little like
one by one picture and I will put that on
my page and link it to their just so otherwise
it's just gonna be your name linked to a web page.
But you give me a little picture to look like
(52:01):
Lincoln to everyone should a picture to James, he would
organize this effort. Thank you for that, Champ very much.
And uh a tool, thank you. Was always at such
a joy to have you with us. Thank you. Thanks
so yeah. I have a blast doddo with Chris said
so yeah, thanks for having you can find me at
the Jackie Druthi Gonzalez dot com forward slash Chris tash
(52:22):
forward slash tool thing, so alright, awesome, thank you for that.
And Joey, are you happy with what you see at
the site. I'm loving it. I'm loving it. I do
want to say I have been, uh, I haven't working
on some projects. I'll say it as a hacker. And
I'm not gonna say which website has has a virus,
(52:44):
but uh well I haven't. I'm not gonna I haven't.
It's not mineus, it it's James. Let's thank you our
producing stars, Mr Doug fine folks that I heart media.
(53:06):
I'm your host. Kevin Pollark, thanking you so very damn
much for joining us for the shenanigans and the hijinks.
We still love having it being a part of this.
Please continue to be creatively involved as much as you
would like review and rate, and tell everyone you've ever met,
and please be kind to each other. It's the easiest
thing to do. Until next time, Good the
Come back to another episode of Alchemy. There's I'm yours.
No you don't come down here and show me. I
know how to use the table saw jeans I digress.
Let's meet alchemis. Shall we know particular? Or please say?
What up to a tool? Sing to a tool? What
(00:26):
are you having for breakfast? Most dates? Oh this is
oh my god, this is a fantastic question. Uh. First
of all, now I'm getting almonds in like two pound bags,
and so I do yogurt, and uh, you should see
the size of the yogurt I get now from the store,
like the grocery stores. Well, you start talking about how
big your breakfast thing is, and it's never gonna end.
(00:48):
No bear naked, some bear naked granola on it. That's
the pricey stuff, all right. I find it on sale
and then I get it. Uh, right now, it's vanilla almond.
That's flavor than I thought. Some more almonds. I like
one almond per bite in my morning. I put some
little honey on it. And then right now I have
strawberry sliced up there in the fridge. Throw that on there,
(01:09):
some bananas. So every morning it's like a couple hours
and then you eat you know what James is right. Look,
I'm not gonna go into my routine. It's pretty similar
to yours, except for one thing at all. I got
rid of the childish granola. Okay, you're not a child anymore.
Dogs you've got you've got the fruit. The honey's even
pushing it. But I'll give you the honey. I'll give
(01:29):
you the honey. Get rid of the g I used
to be like you. I used to be like you,
and then I grew up. Okay, sorry, just wait till
your question comes. Oh look at there, it's James Heeney.
Jinglehnky do what role did you play in your school play?
(01:50):
I've did many. I was a fantastic actor. In fact,
then that's last time we saw him, a nice I
was performer of the year in uh. This was for
this is the music. Please read the fury Ridge High
School Fine Arts Theater Award Male Performer of the Year
(02:15):
James Heeney for Oklahoma. You can't take it, and it's
a separate plate, and you keep take it with you.
Every now and then I'll ask a question that will
spark a moment of reality that is so wonderfully surprising.
And I had no idea clearly what this meant to James.
And also, folks, a reminder, if you're a patron subscriber,
(02:35):
you would be watching the video of James holding his
black and reading from it for all of us to see,
and the exuberant in his face so smiling like that.
It's pretty much he was just hugging. And now here's
(03:01):
Jackie Ruthy jack attack. Do you have a school play
performance that you would like to share? Yes, I mean
I love school plays. I was Gladys in the Pajama Game.
Not a lot of people about the Pajama Game, but
she has a big drunk scene and I was like,
a really, you know, good person, not good person, but
(03:23):
I was very scared of disappointing my mother, I should
say in high school. So I didn't drink, but I
was like, well, I can't have this drunk scene and
not know what it's like. So the night before dress rehearsal,
I got blackout. Um, luckily just with my two you know,
best girlfriends shout out Hannah Corman, Jody l m B.
(03:46):
We were in Jody's den. It was a very safe environment. Um,
but I absolutely gave myself alcohol poisoning I was vomiting
for twenty four hours, um, and couldn't go to dress
rehearsal because just stop vomiting. Yeah, and you thought I'll
drink all the liquor as my for my first time.
(04:07):
You know. It's one of those things where you don't
drink a lot. Yeah, I don't know what you're doing.
We didn't know what we were doing. And it's just like, oh,
like you finished your thing, Like yeah, like okay, finished mine.
It's like okay, Like I don't know. I'm like, how
are you feeling. It's like I think I'm feeling fine.
I don't know, and then you just keep going until um,
(04:27):
just like high school Jackie being like, you know, I
just I gotta feel it. That's great. And I later
find out in life that I'm straight up allergic to
all alcohol. Um, I will throw up after one glass
of anything. So just like, so I don't drink period
(04:49):
because it's just a bad experience for me. So to know, like,
oh yeah, it didn't matter how much I drink that night,
I was going to be vomiting. Some would say you,
that's a blessing that you speaking of. I'm not angry
about it. I think alcohol it turns out, turns out. Yeah.
(05:10):
In fact, there's Chris Alvarado ce a the Ansom. Hey
when did you know you'd finally found the perfect pillow
when I bend over dollars on it? No, that's right,
that's right. Yeah, because some things in life as you
(05:30):
get older are important. Pillow, like a fucking pillow? What
am I a child? What am I drunken child? You
probably tell you what that is. No, I know you're
not a child because you don't put what is it strawberry? Yeah? Yeah,
that's right, thank you, thank you? What are you doing? Gold? Damn?
(05:54):
You got I say? I say, I'm saying nothing else?
Is it fault? I really want to know everything about
this film. It's one of those like firm mask bone ones,
not just like a memory foam where your head just
sinks in. No, no, no, no, yes, a tool. It's
got the shape to it and everything. Yeah. Although I
just read an article saying our cube pillows the best
type of pillow, and that's interest who take the article?
(06:18):
Man Cuban, Cuban, Cuban, Man Cuban brings us to Joey Greer,
Oh my goodness, and last, but may this day never end?
If you think of it's Joey Greer Cramps inducer what
happened to all the dolphin babies. So we're all familiar
(06:39):
with what happened in Sea World with the orcas well,
people aren't familiar with because there's an actual Simpsons episode
where dolphins are like the highest form of being on
Earth and they actually leave Earth at one moment, and
that's what's happening. We're having a mass exodus oh of
(07:01):
dolphins at the moment, and people are thinking, Oh, that's
because of global warming. No, they're going back to their
mother planet, going back to Dolph. Let's do a damn show,
shall we. All of our scene suggestions gather from your
listener emails or from a Patreon v I ps okat
priority placement. To become a patron supporter of the show,
enjoy exclusive content like oh I don't know video of
(07:22):
what's happening right now? Just head on over to patreon
dot com slash. If you'd like to submit a scene
suggestion via email, please write to the podcast at your
name here at Alchemy this dot com. That's your name
here at seen. One comes from Ethan, who wrote, Hello Alchemist,
I love the podcast. It is always a delight to
(07:43):
my ears. I have recommended the show to a multitude
of people, none of whom went on to listen to it.
I see the suggestion is people returned to the jungle
to embrace their monkey heritage. Signed Ethan. Folks who want
to stay in the path want to just stay on
the path. If you could, please, thank you. I don't
know if you realized this, but I'm kind of related
(08:06):
to the jungle inhabitants here. What's happening? Dad? Don't, Dad don't.
I don't think he realizes we're coming back to our roots. Sir,
if you could just make your son's got a point,
Let's keep the shirt on and also stay on the path,
if you could, please do you? Okay, Well listen. You
might have been a tour guide for a lot of Normans,
but me and my family were second generation debunked debunk
(08:33):
I know what this individual is gonna say. This individual
gonna say that we as human beings emerge from some
kind of sess pool, and then monkeys came out, and
then we did well. I have a question for you, sir,
and you're in you're awesome plan of science and be us.
We have all from monkeys, but happened? They're still here?
Wouldn't they have been whipped out and did the debunk? Deep?
(08:59):
Have a for you? Yeah, that's right. I have a
question for you. Have you ever heard of um? I
don't know God? Have you heard heard of that guy?
Have you heard of God? Have you ever even heard
of him? N you hear your son? Can you hear
your son? Your son has been asking for your attention
and you have not been able to give any attention
(09:20):
to your son. Have you heard of God? Hey? Don't
you dare talk to my child about God? Okay, we've
got our answer the question. Instead answer the question. Okay, Yes,
I've heard of God. And I am not saying that
your God doesn't exist. I'm just saying that you can't
say that. You can't say that. Son, If you want
to come with us, will give you a new name.
Your name will be this tour group and we're going
(09:45):
to the woods. Mitchell Manly, mich Manly. You like sweets?
I got a backpack full of them. You like that
merchant for Malely? Alright, son, now it's the big chance
you make a choice. You either stay with this too.
A group of strangers and one guy that thinks he
knows what he's doing. It tells you to stay in
the path. Or your dad who's like yours to the monkeys,
(10:11):
come with me to the woods. Ladies and gentlemen, get
ready for the most popular pastor in Pasadena, California, triple
m himself. Sorry, right there, we kind of slipped up
on the word pastor. Okay, it's not the milk, it's
(10:33):
not the dairy product. It's like another term for priests,
pastor past Say it again to pastur pastor, like like
a former tour you went on. There we go, just
take it again from the top. M hmm. All right,
everyone stand up and make some noise for the most
(10:54):
famous pastour in Pasadena, California, triple m himself, and you'll
be able to put in the actual music. Right. I'm
not gonna have to continue this on or would you
we need you to do that? So how long? What's
the time? Snap on them? And so I ask you, congregation,
(11:19):
did I live? Did I live in the jungle with
my daddy? The answer is the answer is yes. The
answer is yes. Did I question? Did I question whether
or not God was real? No? I gotta be honest
with you. I did I question question. Question? Do you
know what happens when you question? Now? He gives He
(11:42):
gives you the answers. Now, Congregation, I have a special guest,
not you. You know, he already knows who he knows,
he knows who he is from West Covina Chapter of
our church. Put your hands together for Peter, Paul and Mary.
(12:09):
It's oh my god. Yeah, yeah, this happens all the time.
It's not the band, it's just me. Uh. Mark, you're
it's always a pleasure to be here in your congregation. No, no,
it's all. It goes around. What comes around, um, but
(12:30):
goes around, It goes around. Peter, Peter, we brought you
here today to share your story. Now they've heard my story.
Did I live with my dad and the monkeys? I did? Yes,
I did. Peter has a similar story. I have a
similar story I was. Let me take you back to
(12:51):
that day, take us back, all right, Welcome on to
the uh this is the s S. Maple Thorpe. We're
gonna be going across the ocean. Here, the beautiful beauty
of the SSP. Captain and Mary Cryptain and Mary, I uh,
I'm a little concerned. I feel a little sick. I'm
(13:13):
not used to being on a boat, and I'm wondering
if there's like I don't know, something to some sort
of like bag or something. You know, who's that see?
You know who was out to see Jesus Christ. And
it was a stormy night. It was a stormy night.
And you know all those fishes, he made them fifty million,
(13:35):
he made them. Deborah, Ellen, if you two could just
go back down below deck so we could get those
cabins um dressed and clean. They'll be dressed. Don't worry
about that. But it's confiding to to talk to everyone
else that's on. It's so my congregation here. If I
was interrupt you believe Deborah and Ellen were angels? Isn't
(13:59):
that right? As it's my story? Mark? But yes, yes,
so he believes he believed he was talking to angels.
Let me let me take you back to that us back.
It will get clean. We will clean that deck. Don't
worry that the beds are gonna get made. Ahead, let
(14:20):
me skip ahead a little bit. I think would that part.
I don't know why I always go back to that part,
but because he met angels. Yeah, an hour later, this
is back in my past an hour later. This treasure
map right here will lead us to Old Brion's Gold.
I'm telling you right now now if we just follow this,
(14:41):
oh my god, let's clean that up right away. I'll
get clean the vomit on the dike floor. It's not good.
That's that's fabulous diak floor, you know. And the vomit
was red part of man vomit was read much like
the Red See congregation. It's a big part of the story. Mark.
(15:06):
So I'd usually like to tell that part. Take await,
Let's let's go. Let's go to your past tour. Hey,
I'm started coming to the green room, Teter Paul Mary,
Am I saying that correctly? If you want to talk
to my client. First of all, uh, what is your name, sir?
My name is Don Tutor. I represent uh most of
(15:28):
the evangelical powerhouses here in southern California, right right? Yeah?
Are you here to to snatch up my incredible talent?
Is not at all. I just wanted to come and
let Peter Paul Mary know that I had a fantastic
time and it looked like that crowd of like three
to four people that could have been even a better
story with maybe three to four thousand. How does that sound? Oh,
he's gonna sell you bill of goods now, Peter three
(15:50):
to four thousand. I'm I'm listening, Phil, give us a second. Yeah,
did you want that cappuccino? Um? See if they have
a lot to If not? Yeah, caps, fine, almond milk.
You know me do the same. And don't you forget that? Okay,
(16:11):
I'll be right back, So don to Why don't we
cut the fucking ship? Whoa? No one talk to me
that way, especially not in the house of God. Also, God,
let me show you something. Look at my wallet. Do
you see all those bills in there? Yeah? What are
those candies too? Yeah? They are the candy bills. I'm
(16:32):
not allowed to bring our actual money out because I
spend it too quick. But I make a lot of
a lot of dollars, all right, and I can make
you und dollars all right? What kind of CARDI drive? Wait? Well,
right now, for appearances, have a Nissan Sentra. How about
we do this? How about you start driving around in
the gene wagon. Let people know that God works in
(16:52):
mysterious ways of gens wagging me to the jeans all right?
You know what I'm gonna stick with my manager. I
think I've gotten the vibe. You're dumb as hell, so
part of me, Pam, Pam, as part of the congregation.
I just wanted to say I could feel the Holy
(17:13):
Spirit working through you today. Yes, can you feel it? Yeah? Yes, yes.
So I was going through the records, um, just I
was in my prayer book. In my prayer book, your
name came up. I realized you pulled your tithing, hold
your tithing, Pam. Yeah, Pam. We're gonna need you to
(17:36):
double down the tithing. We need of whatever comes into
your house to give to God's house, so you can
give to me, so I can open the front door
for you. But here's the thing I've been saving up.
I'm gonna trying to get to the jungle. I'm trying
to just get in touch with my roots and jungle,
to get in touch with my dad. Isn't it right?
(17:57):
You want to see if I've been lying or not?
Is that right? Pam? It's it's really it's about me
about your dad. A little bit about your dad, but
it's really about me connecting with my roots and maybe
finding I love in your best best of luck? Did
you see him tell him. I said, what, tell him
(18:21):
him best of luck? You see my dad? Tell him, like,
what what you've got to share that with me? Give
it to me. I'm suing hungry. Okay, we're a family here.
(18:42):
God damn it, God damn it. You look over to
your luck, you'll see family, won't. You're right, it looks
like excuse me, excuse me. I'm sorry, I'm covering my genitals.
Don't look down there. Um Hey, yeah, that's all. That
(19:11):
was the whole show, I know, Jesus crime. Oh that's
a third ball. Everybody two comes to picture a comaniac
who wrote high there Alca Motley crew just thought of that.
He wrote to make things more efficient. While submitting scene suggestions,
(19:35):
I want to present a standard intro. It goes like this,
first time listener, longtime caller, love from bird buttermilk Jones.
Two words for the scene suggestion, Moon wizard ps. Just
in case you forgot I love all of you. You
bring me the most joy. Mike. Okay, you wanted to
reserve a table for six? Is that right? That's right?
(19:58):
What was the name for that reservation? You can put
it under my wife's name. Jody Hannah, Jody Hannah put
it under my husband's name. There are so many Jody
Hannah's put it under Moon Wizard. Oh, I'm sorry, is fine,
just put I see why you wanted to put it
(20:19):
under Tell you what we do folks in this situation.
If you want to put it under like Tim Smith
or something. No, just my wife's name is fine. It
seems that she's not comfortable up there. Don't talk to me,
don't talk to put it under Tim Smith. I don't
want to talk right now. Okay, I don't want to talk.
(20:42):
So you picked this restaurant, you know expensive? This restaurant
is hold on what sec I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
My husband is too embarrassed because he's a big fan.
Could I get your autograph? What? I don't give a ship?
He's funny, he's funny if you get to know me, hilarious.
(21:04):
But we're both big fans of all the magic that
you created. Could you could you just give me one?
Could you give me an autograph? Um? Sure? Just to
be clear, me and wife have plenty of friends, so
we're not really looking for new friends. So I'm not
trying to be friends. Um should I'm making a table
of aid? No? No, no, no, no, no. Let me
go ask my husband if he might, if you can.
(21:27):
When he comes back, just say that the table of
aid is gone. You only have a table six table,
a table for ten. Whatever you'd like. Mr. No. Six
would be great. Joy might right this. Don't suck this up.
You know he's my one. Okay, he's my one. This
is Moon fucking Wizard. What are the odds of that
keeps on changing? Okay? You one keeps on changing. One.
(21:49):
That's the one. That's the one. We got a chance
to sit with, Moonwizard. Okay, just please don't mess this up.
I'm not gonna be cocked while I have dinner, all right,
I'm not gonna do that, all right, please please, I'm
looking for a Jodie Hannah one moment, please, Okay. I'm
(22:14):
with them, with the I'm with the FBI. Um, I
need to tell you you are in danger. Okay, now,
um here's here's here's the truth. Four other Jody Hannah's
have been killed in the last three days. Now there.
As you probably know, there are a lot of jokes
of Hannahs. Of course, none of those Jody Hannah's are
(22:34):
married to Moon Wizard, so maybe that um, provides me
some protection. Is there? Have you figured out the correlation
outside of the world, outside of the name, I mean,
perhaps they were in some kind of organized crime syndicate. Huh,
(22:55):
just made up of Jodie Hannah's. Do you think the
club hand Love that I wasn't invited to and that
I wasn't leading. Okay, so you were not invited, nor
were you leading Hannah club. I assume there are other
Jody Hannah's because there are two common names. I don't
know that there are other Jody Hannahs, and I certainly
(23:17):
don't know other Hannah's and just resently, but none of
them were married to A. And I'm just getting emotional
because the thought of anyone dying hurts my soul. Not
I know that I have photos right here you can
look at you can look at this. Oh and that's truesome.
(23:38):
And I didn't realize it was going to sweatpost. I
don't need to see that. That's necessary. Careful, who is
it I am booking for Jody Hannah? Um? Well, well,
(24:02):
who is it? I am looking for Jodi Hana. I'm
not gonna open the door because we just had like
a weird guy just come to the door and kind
of freak my wife out. Um so, um, no, thanks
were not interested. I'm looking for Jody Hamma, okay, and
(24:23):
I have here. I have one chef salad. You can
just passed that down. Please have administrating soup here. Um,
will your other guests be arriving? I know you said
table for six and it's only two of you are think, yes,
they'll be here. It's our it's our it's our grown kids.
They'll be here shortly, so don't worry about it. I'm
not worried. It's just you've you're gonna You've already started eating,
so I didn't know. You'll get a good tip. You'll
(24:45):
get a good tip, all right if I actually donate
the tips. So it's I mean, it'd be nice to
help help the organizations I donate to. And you're just
a millionaire who's who's waiting? Tables on the side a
millionaire place? But it be in front of that. I'll
be right back. What was that? That was weird? Right? Um?
(25:09):
It makes me nervous? Yeah, I mean, this is just
a weird day off. And babe, I'm sorry the children
aren't coming. Oh and I did text all of my
friends the four of them, and they're not coming either.
(25:31):
I tried to get backups. Um, they're not answering. I
don't know. I'm sorry enough there, But my wife really
wants to come over. Please. We're just trying to have
a dinner. Yeah, me too, Me too, But I can't
have a dinner because I didn't get to choose to restaurant.
And then my wife, she's Moon River wherever the hell
his name is Wizard whatever, okay, and and she wants
(25:54):
to go over here. She wants to make love to
him so close to my face. I want get closer. No,
you're spinning, you're spinning, and it's my My cheek is
now moist well considered a free appetizer, buddy, Why don't
you hang out right here? Moon was it? I'll be
right back. Let let me go talk to your wife there. Um,
(26:16):
Oh your name, my name, it's Lucy. Lucy. Let me
just get one thing straight. You're never gonna suck my husband.
Oh my god, are you really fucking serious? Are you
gonna come over here? Well, you don't realize, lucky girl,
is that he's by the one. Okay, lucky girl, Honestly,
(26:39):
you should just take him. Man, just get off my aunts.
You want to do like a swap thing. No, no, no, no, man,
I just want to be free from this. How why
don't you just break it off? I can't because are
our marriage was bound by God? Oh I don't have
the powers of human beings. Imagine having four best friends
(27:00):
they all have your same name, and they all die
gruesome death, and they're gonna call me a lucky girl.
And then can you try to find my husband? That's
how your plan is. You're trying to part of the planet.
It wasn't part of the plane. Listen. It's just that
if you really love your husband, don't you want to
know if he makes love to another woman? Are you
(27:22):
still your behind? Oh? I thought you were an actor,
So you're actually you do magic with the power of
the moon? Yeah? Yeah, I used like neap tides. Yeah,
but I do magic based off of it. I don't
know that. Yeah. Yeah. Do you like the soup? Yeah?
Oh my god? This was your wife, wasn't it. Yeah
(27:45):
that's fine. You're you're a guest at my table. That
guy was so hungry for tips when he came over
to our table. I got the complete opposite vibe from him.
When he came to ours. Now, imagine wearing a wig
and then just close your eyes and think about the
one person that you want to be fucking. But then
just suck your husband. You know what I'm saying. I mean,
(28:06):
I've been doing that for years. It just doesn't do
it anymore. I need your husbands. If she it's hard
for me. I'm trying to relate to you. Maybe make
a female friend. I've lost all of them, and you
keep talking about sucking my husband, and that's hard. I
didn't and I just, uh, director, FBI director, I've actually
(28:28):
forgot your name, Sarah. No. Um, well it's on the desk. Great,
Ut I can't at the moment I've put together at
what's going on here? Just read the name. Look, I
can't read letters, but I can read people, people, details,
(28:51):
people and details. You gotta a natural sense to this
own thing. Part of natural sense to this sort of thing, sir. Now,
I have a theory here that's a little while. But
hear me out. I mean that's why you hired me.
Can you really not read? I cannot read, sir, Yes,
I can read. I can read read details, bread a
(29:16):
natural senses, natural senses and all that. Now, so obviously
we're looking for the Jodi killer, right, and you know
there's been uh you know this and that and some
clues and so no clues. I can't read the documents, sir,
but here's what I did read. Last night. I went
outside my shirt off. I have one cigarette a day.
(29:37):
And during that cigarette, sir, I looked up at the moon.
And do you know what the moon did? Um? It
winked at me, sir. It winked at me. Now, why
would the moon wink at me unless it was hiding something? Now?
Who do we know has the name of moons? Oh? Yes,
(29:58):
I love the Smashing Pumpkins. I'm one video they did
tonight tonight, tonight tonight. Yeah? Did you were you able
to kill your Jody Hannah? I have killed four Jody Hans.
I believe that must be all the Jody Hannas to kill.
There's one more, but I'm sorry. I just got lost.
(30:20):
The My cars is not great. Doesn't have GPS. So
God doesn't have GPS. No, it's a older car. You
have to use your phone. I've got the next row one.
Stay here, I'll be bar No, don't where are you wait? Wait? What?
What need one? I don't need it right now. I'm
just trying to get the Telly. How many Jody Hannah's
(30:41):
are actually left? But you've got four. It's really good.
You should you should be the main, the main. You know,
you should be in charge. You should be the director,
the director. Yeah, you should be the director. Oh eybody,
I see those two naked guys just talking to each
other the scene too. Oh yes it is. Don't you
(31:06):
think for a moment that's not seen too, because that
seem too same. Three listen to us via email. You
don't come from Caen, who wrote, Hey, Alchemys, just wanted
to share how I came across your podcast. I'm a
chemist and I got tired of just listening to music
(31:26):
all the time at work, so I just sended to
venture into the podcast world. I knew I wanted a comedy,
and while scrolling through titles, Alchemy naturally caught my eye
and I just had to give it a try. I mean,
how could you mix between alchemy and comedy and the
go wrong? I'm so glad I did too, because you
guys are amazing. I mean, there's not much chemistry, but
(31:54):
so so she goes on, but I'll take care of
that all. I'm listening you guys. Definitely take care of
the comedy part. I do have a scene suggestion. Hot
air balloon ride with cats. Thank you all for you do.
(32:14):
How many? How many? Um, well, there's two of us.
It's just us too. It's just us two. We got
these bags and I figured we'd wear these stick jackets.
You've reserved this ride just for the two of you. Yeah,
it holds a uh huh. Okay. And what are the bags?
(32:38):
Those are our personal bags in case we want snacks,
very large snack bags. Okay, go, come come on board.
What what is the name so I can just check
you off the list? Snidel Snidel That's what I've got.
It's not snidle. If you could be sniddle, it could
(33:00):
be still. I mean, it's your name, whatever it is
it is. Yeah, of course it's it's snidled. If it's
up to me, it's snidle. Op. You're a little wobbly there.
Come on, I'm boring. Let's get you careful, let's get
you conceited. Um. I'm just gonna go get the snacks
and I'll be right back. Okay. I cut the cut
the ropes, honey, cut the ropes. Honey, come on, he's
(33:23):
gonna be back, and he stuck and cut the ropes.
I don't. I don't have a knife. He's alread have
a knife. Buck, He's never gonna let us toss these cats.
You gotta get up there. We have to toss the cats.
Maybe that was the whole plan. That's why we're here,
that's why we made the reservation. Well I thought we
were going to try to go up by ourselves. Well, no,
(33:47):
we got this is reserved for us. Well, it doesn't
look like anyone here has got a hatchet. Luckily, I
don't we just cut these lives. Why would you do that?
Why would do ah? My wife and I had this
(34:12):
for private, for us. I don't know who you two are.
Absolutely no problem, Tina, and I'm actually your tour guy today.
I will be running the balloon. I'm fortified to run
the kerosene lamp and make sure everyone goes up up
when they want to go up, and go down down
when they want to go down. Act like I'm not here.
That's a kerosene lamp. Yes, it's very powerful, but it
(34:35):
is just a kerosene lamp. Back in the day. This
is a fun fact back in the day. It was
actually fueled by um uh, it was a whale fact,
it was whale fat. I'm gonna call it fat because
it was a little too cute. And uh, we don't
like to think about death when it comes to cute
at the end of the day. And to get the fat,
(34:56):
they got to kill the motherfucker right. Take my hand
up there and see how it don't melt your bones.
Listen to me, buddy, Listen to me, buddy. Right now,
there's treasure. There's treasure. Go hang you know, and that
(35:18):
and that and that does happen sometimes. So I want
you guys to please stay within Uh this delineated bold
it's going on. You barely reacted to that man falling
off balloon. That man was not even supposed to be here.
That doesn't matter. Why aren't you reacting to a guy me? Okay? Um,
(35:40):
I thought you were having a problem with your lover
not being an empathetic person. For me, I'm a professional.
This is my job. I have seen that more than once.
I've actually seen it more than thrice. And uh, I'm
actually trained to be desensitized. I'm supposed to act like
I'm not here. I'm a part of the balloon unless
you want fun facts in which I'll shoot him out you.
(36:01):
But just act like I'm a part of the balloon. Tommy, Hey, Tommy, dude,
wake up, wake up. I just saw some fucking I
think it was a guy fall out of that balloon
up there. Come on, we gotta check this out. You're dreaming, man,
Just go back to sleep. No, I was wide awakes.
(36:21):
Where to god, I was wide awake. I was sitting up.
I was looking at the clouds, and then the balloon
took off. So I watched that for a bit, and
then one of the people in the balloon either jumped
out or was pushed out. And this is why we
got to go check it. All right, let me get
my wallet on my phone. I just sleep, Mr walk
(36:41):
it's just over there, all right. I just still need
the house keys. Let me take. Someone's gonna ask for
your I d between here and there. I take. It's
like it's like a security thing. I just have it
on me. Okay, all right, but your keys about leaving
the keys mind? You don't trust me. This is a campsite.
I'm gonna tell one's gonna sir. You felt from way
(37:02):
up there you. Okay, listen to me right now. Listen
to me. You're hurting me. Treasure, there's treasure where. Pick
me up? Pick me up? Tell me there. I can't
lift you up here they are tell me, hey, oh hey,
you found the guy. He fell out of the balloon. Right. Oh,
(37:24):
his hand is completely bones. What the funk uppend you
talk to him? What happened? Pick me up? He sup,
I'm a child. I can't lift this, grown man. We
can tell what You're a child by your body. Yeah,
you have a job. Body will help you out of it, eventually,
I'm sure, will you. I'm sure this is one of
(37:44):
only two ways that somebody could leave. Of course, she's
seen this happen a whole bunch of times. But no,
uh honestly, my my love, brew and I just kind
of wanted to ask private time we're gonna we're gonna
make out here. I'm not here the part of the blue.
I'd rather not be looking while we're making out makes
me feel weird. Well, here's the thing about safety on balloons, right,
(38:06):
I gotta keep my eyes all around. I've got it. Oh,
let's put the cats here right, his hand is completely
oh my god, oh oh my god. Oh she just bounced.
(38:31):
She just bounced under her feet. Oh my god, that's
the sikest thing I've ever seen. You're right, Yeah, you
couldn't imagine how many times I'm pushed out of my
own balloon. What happened? You were pushed out? I was
pushed out, and luckily, because of past pushes, my legs
are actually mostly titanium and pins. So as long as
(38:53):
I land on my feet, I'm not feeling much and
I've got great shock absorbition. This guy fell out of
out of a balloon too, my same balloon. Hey man,
nice to see you again. Pick me up, Pick me up.
There's treasure. No one can pick them up. I'll try.
I'll try and give it a try. Don't touch the titania. Yeah,
(39:18):
if only, if only my hands are on my feet. Yeah,
my arms are completely just flash, just human flesh and bones.
So what's going on? How come you both fell out
of a hot air balloon? Hey, little boy, where are
your parents? I don't have your parents? And how come
you two guys aren't wearing any pants? We just we're camping.
(39:40):
So are you carrying your wallet and your underwear? He
likes it's a security thing. Are you answering for him?
We're kiddy because he doesn't feel well. Look at him.
We're camping over there, all right, So do you just
toss them all at the same time? I want to
watch each one bounce. They say that the cats land
(40:01):
always land on their feet. Let's prove this theory. Maybe.
Oh God, we're getting pulled over by the hot air balloon.
Please pull it over, take it down to the can
you guide me on hot? Take it to the crowd,
to the baby fucking wait, let's go. Let's go to
the lampa. Go towards the moon. Oh okay, baby, okay,
(40:27):
how about this? Every time we pick up a cat
and throw it over the side that we kiss? Oh yeah, baby?
Do you like to kiss? You think kissing is hot? Huh?
One day, go further than kissing. But right now it's
just kisses and cats, kisses and kick get it? I
get it? Kisses and Catsum, what are you doing? What?
(40:52):
I'm an angel? All right, you can't do that. We
gotta go lower, We gotta go down. Asks kill me.
I'm an aeous. Turn the lamp down. All right. Look,
I'm gonna freeze you all in your place because I
do have that. I'm bestowing powers by God. Have you
ever heard of him? You ever heard of God? Debra
(41:15):
and Allan here the angels listen, and all those cats
go to heaven. We want to kill we have we
had the choice to kill the cats. And then my
parents had love up there, made love up there in
the pack, and they loved up there. They loved up there, y'all. Now,
(41:39):
my congregation, do y'all feel love? Yeah, this is the
best part. So my parents climaxed, and that's where it
was conceived, was in a hot air balloon. What do
you mean climax um when a man sorry sorry sorry
party uh Peter Park and Mary out my congregation. They
(42:02):
don't know about sex. Oh, they think they were all
they were all beamed here intelligent design designed. So if
you could kind of like make this part a little
you know what? God, God pam Okay, So where wise,
(42:26):
I let me take you back to that day. So
now my parents are in the hot air balloon. So
all those cats went to heaven, that's right, and they've
all been given saintly names. And you know what heaven
looks like for a cat looks like a beautiful jungle.
All the trees that they could climb, imagine all of
(42:47):
the bark that they could scratch on. They love it.
And when they get there, you know, God, you ever
heard of him? That's what he's saying in the whole time.
And some people find that a form of arch, but
the cats love it because it's the first couple of bars.
I'm gonna do the jungle, and he starts again. Hey,
(43:10):
we're gonna relieve you of your angel duties. Okay, made
excuse me, but here we go. Lucifer coming up. You're
telling us what we gotta do. Huh, I'm giving an assignment.
I just need to let you know, the most beautiful
of them all come in here to tell us we
can't do our job. Have jurisdiction here. You don't have
jurisdiction here, Yeah, I do. I want you know listen,
(43:34):
you're going back. You're going back to Earth, but you're
not going back as humans. You're going to the jungle.
What's gonna be a whole like a Michael situation. Oh
my god, Michael, Yes, I love so Wait. The treasure.
The treasure was just this rested out car. Yeah, if
(44:00):
you fix it up, it'll be worth it. Thousands cars depreciate.
That's a fact. They actually the value only ever goes down.
It's it's not a good investment vehicles. You must have
titanium in your brain too, because you're smartest act. And
that's what they say. They say tinyanium in the brain
actually makes you extra smart. So I make sure to
(44:22):
shoot myself up with some of that every morning. There's
a titanium drug I don't know about. It's a liquid form.
Imagine you've ever seen logan? Is that? Is that the
second part of Michael? Yes, well, I'm glad we just
(44:42):
we just skipped second and third base and went right
down to smash it. Awesome. Oh if we didn't even
have to throw the cats out. This is great. This
is great. Now, hopefully they'll be a little one of
you in my belly soon. What the funk are you
(45:03):
talking about? What? What the funk are you talking about?
Get your hands off me, get your hands on the
wait to hold them up? Hold on, dude, got another one.
Well you came. Wait you're the person who was never
lets you down. That's a good motto. But wait, the
(45:27):
balloon with less weight in it, won't it just keep
going up and up? Who's left on board? Are there
are a bunch of people still? Just one sick man
who deserves to be burnt up by the sun. What
the why? You know? Why? Uh? Tyler Um, You're you're fired.
(45:50):
You let a balloon go up with two people, right? Uh?
And then two other people one up there? Well, I
just two people signed up, Claire, the name was on
the list. They got on board, and then I went
to get their snacks and then they were gone. That's
the that's the thing. Yeah, you're the one making these
snacks for people. You're trying to implement it as a
business wide standard that we don't do snacks. That's yeah.
(46:15):
And when you do that, you vacate your position and
people to jump in or steal it or get an
extra forty bucks. And usually goes pretty smoothly the first
time that someone just decided, we'll look, we'll just go
up in the air on our own. So how's that
my fault? Because if you let it happen, you let
it happen. That's why it's your fault. I've heard enough.
I've heard enough. I've heard enough. Look, I owned this company.
(46:40):
Clearly you both worked for me. Bob. I put a
lot of responsibility in you, a lot of power in
your hands, and I thought, you know what's up, talk
to me your moonlight as a goddamn server. And then
you come over here just when, just when you want
to hold court so you can just harass us. Excuse me,
just hey, hey, this dude is a fucking billionaire man,
and if he wants to, I'm sorry, change that. Put
(47:03):
a team in front of that just happened this week. Congratulate.
Can I just the greatest, greatest boss I've ever had
in my life. And this fucking dungleberry here does not
deserve to work for you. Okay, I've heard you both out.
Now I need to the truth is, I'm gonna get
(47:23):
rid of the whole company. I need to ask you
one quick question, though, quick anything? How do you know
about my newest invention? What titanium? Tina's not a real person.
I built her? What her? What? I fell in love
with it. We're gonna engage. Is your job also to
(47:45):
kill the Jodie Hannah's of the world. I actually I
run just hot air balloon tours. I'm a tour guide.
I don't funk with Jody Hannah's. I tried to fuck
wanted the Jody Hannah's how husband and uh after that,
I was like, no, no, no, I'm gonna I'm gona
back off. Uh just to take people through the sky,
(48:10):
let them know fun facts, keep them safe because uh
not sky Knit, it's actually a it's an air hot
air balloon company and it's called hot Balls in the Air,
And it's my job to keep everyone safe, keep them informed,
and let them see the world from a different point
(48:30):
of view, from a different perspective. Is that the one
with the logo with the three balloons right next to it? Yeah,
it looks like testicles, but it's three. Now. Look, Bob,
I'm giving you this courtesy because I can tell you
were really in love with her. Here's her GPS tracker.
Now she's gonna die now, So you got a fighter
because I'm pulling the plug. She's already served her mission.
(48:52):
And make me some snacks today, Go ahead, professor love
man Jackie, thank you so much for coming back and
(49:14):
joining us. You're such a delighting You help us all
forget about Joey and it's just so appreciated, even if
it's just for an hour. Um, you know, I have
such a blast coming on here, So I really appreciate,
I really appreciate the invite. Thank you for having me.
Thank you. Would you like to uh tell folks where
they should go to find your wares? Can you believe? Um?
(49:37):
I took a little page speaking of Chris Alvarado popping
up into people's answers. He's not. He's popping up into
this one in a different kind of way because I
have a website now. Sometimes when you're writing and you
don't feel like writing, you do other things to waste
your time. And I made myself a website that's Jackie
Gonzalez druthi dot com. No hypens, no no fancy, just
(50:02):
all of it. Boom and you got everything there, everything there, links, links, links,
pictures of video you had links to Chris dash Alvarado
dot com. Yes, okay, good, good, good good. Thank you
very much. I can't wait to check out the new website.
Chris Alvarado, Thank you, pal, Thank you boy. What a joy. Tool.
(50:26):
Love playing with you, Jack you love playing with you, James,
I love playing with you. Joey, I love playing with you. Kevin,
I love playing with you. But I want to use
the remainder of my time just say Jackie Gonzalez the
Ruthie dot com. You'll get on it, you guys. I
did a photo shoo find myself on this wall, jack
I cannot wait long. Jie White, no one had that
(50:53):
domain name. And there's two here. Just take this one.
Got this off our hands. It's too much one to photos. Jesus,
this is funny. Listen, Wow, look at Joey's in real
time looking at it. You know dot com it's a
(51:17):
great website too. I love it. Come on, forget the
dash I couldn't get. James Heeney, thank you so much
for being here. Thanks for having me. Uh we should
really get all of our web pages inter linked because
three James dot com. You'll find the live streams that
even help me? This does any live streaming that I'm
(51:40):
on is in my calendar updated? Can you put a
link to everyone else's site? I should be able to?
I mean, yeah, absolutely what I would want to make
a link for everybody else. Give me a little like
one by one picture and I will put that on
my page and link it to their just so otherwise
it's just gonna be your name linked to a web page.
But you give me a little picture to look like
(52:01):
Lincoln to everyone should a picture to James, he would
organize this effort. Thank you for that, Champ very much.
And uh a tool, thank you. Was always at such
a joy to have you with us. Thank you. Thanks
so yeah. I have a blast doddo with Chris said
so yeah, thanks for having you can find me at
the Jackie Druthi Gonzalez dot com forward slash Chris tash
(52:22):
forward slash tool thing, so alright, awesome, thank you for that.
And Joey, are you happy with what you see at
the site. I'm loving it. I'm loving it. I do
want to say I have been, uh, I haven't working
on some projects. I'll say it as a hacker. And
I'm not gonna say which website has has a virus,
(52:44):
but uh well I haven't. I'm not gonna I haven't.
It's not mineus, it it's James. Let's thank you our
producing stars, Mr Doug fine folks that I heart media.
(53:06):
I'm your host. Kevin Pollark, thanking you so very damn
much for joining us for the shenanigans and the hijinks.
We still love having it being a part of this.
Please continue to be creatively involved as much as you
would like review and rate, and tell everyone you've ever met,
and please be kind to each other. It's the easiest
thing to do. Until next time, Good the
Alchemy This News
Host
Kevin Pollak
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