May 4, 2021 • 53 mins
Post Holing.
Person at Dentist with a found tooth.
Jean Shorts
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to another episode of Altim. It is COVID Night.
I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. Yes that yes, Hey man, look,
I'm just trying to get behind like everybody else. You
know why you gotta come at me hard like this? Wait?
What you did? Damn man? Thank you? But I digress.
Let's meet a rock and Michelley no particular order to say.
(00:22):
Hey to Craig Atkowski. Cow. What film are you certain
you've seen more times than any other? This is spinal tap?
That's correct answer. Okay, than great. I was worried about
maybe getting it wrong, but I think we have nailed it.
Information is your information? Line up? Yeah? I got mine
(00:42):
off the internet, so that's kind of weird. Hey, there's
Chris Alvarado Captain booked It was there a troubling dream
recently that you care to share? No, I've been having
dreamless sleeps but really deep in long sleeps, so I'm
feeling good. But her dreams good deal? What the hell?
(01:03):
Jackie ruthy doggie Mama? Is there a special ingredient you
like to include when making tuna salad? Um? You know
I don't like salary in general and in life, but
I do like it in a tuna salad, but instead
of mayonnaise, I like honey mustard. Now you're talking. Now
you're talking my langy all right? Like it? And now
(01:24):
Gary Anthony Williams, Gary in w what's your least favorite smell?
My least favorite? Oh uh, fabreeze. That's right, that's correct.
I'm sick. I hate it. Yeah, I don't want to
(01:44):
get racist, but I thank you for all of that.
And last but just the rim. If you think of least,
it's Joey Greer trade of all. Jack's what makes a
pie better? I know Chris wants to answer this, but
let me jump in here for a second. Um, what
makes a pie better? I'll tell you right now. First off,
(02:06):
pies aren't just two layers. It's not just the crust
and then the filling itself and maybe a top, and right,
that's that's not what a pie is. A pie is
an act. It's a feeling, it's a vision, it's emotion.
And when you understand those things that when you're cooking,
and it's not just cooking, it's baking, because cooking is
obviously just feeling baking, this is science and that's a
big difference. And a pie. Is that pies used in math.
(02:28):
It's using graphs and it's also used in your food.
So think about that next time you need. Okay, All
of our scene suggestions are gathered from listener emails or
from our patron peas to become a patron supporter of
the show and enjoy exclusive content. For example, video of
everything Joey just said. Just head on over to patreon
(02:48):
dot com slash alchemy this. If you'd like to submit
a scene suggestion via email, please right to the podcast
at our spanking new email address, Alchemy. This e mail
at gmail dot com. That's Alchemy this email at gmail
dot com. That's one comes from patron a comaniac, Mary
(03:10):
Grace Russo, such a good alcmaniac who wrote, Hi, y'all,
whoo whoo. Cash flow is okay, So back to alcmaniac
for me to Alaska. Yeah yeah, Mary Grayce, if you're
listening right now, right to us again and please let
(03:32):
us know how things go in Alaska. Love supporting all
of you, she goes on and truly missing and learning
from you guys, the ones who teach. I have to say,
I love Gary Anthony Williams. Well you didn't have to say.
She had to say it. His voice is perfect. She
goes on okay. Also also so happy to have Vanessa
(03:56):
back for some episodes and always look forward to hearing
sheet for turned. Yeah, she would be a part. She
was and will be a part of Austin's sketch best
with us. Um, you can probably pick up an episode
after the fact just by Google searching. That motherfucker. I
do actually have a scene suggestion. Since moving to Alaska,
I learned about a new activity called post holding. Have
(04:21):
fun MG now I I looked up post holing in
case anybody wanted to know. It's when your boot covered
foot takes a vertical plunge similar to a fence post
while out walking or hiking in the snow. Didn't hear
it any of that. Uh, We're just gonna go up
(04:42):
this next pass here, and I want everyone to sort
of keep your eye on the prize and that's down
by your boots, especially where you're walking. We want to
make sure everybody is safe and able to make it
to the top of the hill. There are any questions
at this point before I have a question, but I'm
I won't go up at the end like normal question
I'm just gonna keep it flat. I like that that
(05:03):
works for me. I have an ankle situation. Should I
should I be concerned? Well, I would need you to
be a tad more specific. I'm sorry, I just want
to make a statement here. That's not a question. He
did dip down. He said he was going to keep
it flat, but the concern did dip down. So just
just you know, uh comment comment here not not not
(05:26):
a statement nor a question. Um I think, um, I
think his ankle situation is private. Frankly wow, And I
actually have an exclamation, but I'm not. It's not going
to get louder or more excited. Um Mine two is
going to probably stay pretty even killed. It might go
up at the end as if it was a question,
But don't be don't be confused. It is an exclamation. Uh,
(05:49):
I understand ankle issues, and for me, I actually am
like extremely worried about you and think that maybe this
is going to be a problem one way there. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
this is a statement and not a question. Sure, that
was confusing. I feel like everybody's piggybacking ont my ankle situation.
(06:12):
Something seemed to be in supportive of me. Others seem
to be making fun of me. But but, but, but,
but my my, My flat tone question remains the same.
Should I be concerned? It sounds like you've got nothing
to be concerned about unless you're going to be more
specific about the situation. And I just kind of want yeah,
I mean, I'm sorry, I gotta just jump in here. Um,
(06:34):
So we covered the ankle situation. Now I'm looking to
reach some kind of enlightenment on this journey. I wonder
what the percentage of me hitting that inlanten finding that
inlantenment will be once we get to the top. Um,
can you answer that for me? Please? That's on a
person by person basis, and you're sort of in control
of your own destiny on that one there, And that's good. Yeah,
(06:56):
you'll you'll, you'll know when you get it when you
get there. Yeah, Actually have a question as well, and
I will deliver it in a flat tone. It will
not go up at the end nor down all the qualifiers, folks.
But sure, Um, although Henley is not concerned about his
ankle anymore, I still am so. Am I still encouraged
(07:18):
to take this hike? Or should I stay back? Because
I am actively concerned? And perhaps getting a little bit anxious.
Well that was a long sentence. There's maybe actually question.
It was actually thought. All sentences are questions. Yeah, I'm
more of a than a therapist. And uh, it seems
like we might be a mixed group on who needs what?
(07:42):
If I can get all the sharpersts to step into
the room, if of course we all carry things. Look, guys,
we're gonna have a there's a big hikery coming in
this weekend. Doesn't count as my break? No, no, no.
By the way, I'm pay and you triple time for
your break just because you brought it up. Okay, so
(08:05):
this also doesn't work count as my break either. Um, Tina, Yeah,
if I could call you by your middle name, Tina.
Let's not concern ourselves so much with what others are doing,
but let's concern ourselves more with what we're doing about
what others are doing. Okay, that's that's something Tina will
work on. Thank you. Who's who's taking this hickery? There's
(08:28):
a big highckery coming in with some people that call
themselves gcs the grammarly challenged. Now what what what? What
you're going to notice is that they like to put
qualifiers on a lot of things. Oh okay, does anyone
want to lead the hickery of the GCS. I just
(08:49):
feel like I shouldn't concern myself with other people's problems,
so maybe I shouldn't be taking them on that if
they have this grammar problem. If I'm working on Scott,
I'm happy to take this group. I'm not really impressed
by qualifiers, Fras, let's do it, Okay, let's get okay,
miss Dumpting. I'm just looking at the check here, and
(09:10):
I'm so sorry. I just had to come back and
I wasn't able to put into your account. Um it
is made out to Tina Dumpting. Yeah, and it's supposed
to be in her Kelly Dumpting. So I just final
name so it is legally it's in there. I can
change my passport. I had to go back and get it,
(09:32):
but I could. I could get it back the Mountain
Bank only just we only take the names that we
have on records. Kelly, what do you mean you didn't
cash your check? We need that money, baby. I couldn't
cash the check, Dinkas, and I would really appreciate it
if you called me by my middle name. Okay, listen,
Mr Dincris Dumpling, Mr Nikolas Dumpling to the front please.
(09:54):
Uh if that's dumpting, I'm sorry, so I don't see
that names. Look here, we're going to remove you from
your home within the next forty five minutes now unless
we can see some proof of fiduciaryna hold the phone.
(10:17):
Does anybody have a dictionary for ducci? I'm sorry speaking
elevated again, no kind of word that is, sir. Look,
I and a dictionary on my phone. Nor did you
please pass him your phone dictionary? Thank you? Turn to
(10:37):
the fs in the dictionary. Yeah, it's the d so
it's pretty big. I'm sorry, sir, but Mountain Phone Repair
we we can't just give you a new phone if
if you gave your phone to somebody else, I'm sorry, Well,
like I was asked to pass my phone along so
they could use the dictionary. Uh huh is that it
(11:01):
is that? The Yeah, I unwillingly gave my phone up.
I'm just saying I'm having real trouble understanding most of
the words you're using. I don't have my phone diction.
You to hurry it up up there, I need to
get a new phone? This? Do you the saurus? And
I need to get a new phone? Could you too?
Hurry up again? I'm look, Mountain Phone Repair does not
(11:22):
give out phones for those reasons. I'm being lost by
giving Look, Tina, what I'm saying is our relationship has
got to involve trust, okay, especially with regard to the
relationship between a trustee and a beneficiary, you know what.
And that's that's where I felt like, there's what the
disconnect is. I'm sorry, It's just you're using so many
(11:44):
big words that honestly sound business e and I thought
we were talking about our relationship and if you could
just help me to find them, like language of origin,
even that would help. Do you think give you some
of those words that would even help? Big? Do you
maybe you can put new work for me at the
UH at the lodging you were saying, Oh my gosh, yeah,
(12:07):
I can do that for sure. We're always boom boom boom.
I love this. Alright, alright, everyone out there listening to
the station, just say, you know, everyone's having a good day.
And to Mr Duncan dump dumpting, I don't even sure
what I'm saying his name correctly you have about ten
minutes before they repo your house. Just give it out
(12:29):
a warning out there to Mr Dumpting, all right from
the federal authority. Turn this down. Excuse me? What's going on?
Repo your how I live in your house? I know,
But Babe, you're also not a very good chirp and
always thinking maybe that's not be an opportunity for us
to go on a HI communicating with me. And I
(12:50):
just feel like that's really bad because when I talk
to my like therapist slash other, but you know it's
not technically a therapist, Kelly, Tina, come on into the
office now, Hi, Hi, did you get your water on
the way in? I know that you get very dry
in therapy session. Yeah, you had just a small dixie cup,
so I'd love more. But you know what I love
(13:12):
about dixie cup? Um, tell tell me this isn't about
me today, Tina. This is about you, okay. Um. I
know I don't know what you love about a dixie cup.
That's wonderful. Tina. Please lie down on the couch. I'm
going to lie down beside you and we're just going
(13:33):
to talk to this. Do you know what do you
mean your therapist post hold you, so so you lie
down the couch and then he post hold you, and
then he post holed me. And that apparently is like
a very good therapy for when you're having mental blocks
with and you're okay with us, you seem fine with us. Honestly,
it felt like a breakthrough, like I had never really
(13:54):
felt progress within my therapy. I felt good about it,
but I didn't feel progressed until he post holed yours.
What do you do? You can't what are you doing?
You can't build a Tantio's my god damn house. You
gotta get the hell out of here, all right. It's
about five after the hour. That's about fifty five before
the hour, and Mr dumped to the lean. I believe it.
(14:16):
Pro you have about two minutes before about two minutes
before yours. You Can you turn it down? Can you
turn that down? Place? That's order a burrito? I don't
know why every radio station in the city knows that
I'm being My house is being repot. Look, I can't
sell you a burrito and tell I know what time
it is, pal. That's why I gotta listen to that.
I gotta listen to the radio because it tells me
(14:37):
the time constantly. Look as you heard, my house is
being report. I wonder if maybe you can front me
a burrito this one time. And uh, you know, my
my girlfriend, my wife has gotta check. We gotta check. Man.
We're going to Mountain Bank and everything. Oh Mountain bank. Yeah,
you gotta you gotta like take a hike to to
get to the top of that mountain to use that
bank that they have one branch, Yeah, and literally on
(15:00):
a branch. Welcome to Mountain Bank. How can I help
you today? Hi? Um, you know, sir? Do you have
your radio by any chance? And if so, could you
to turn it up for one moment? I guess I
have would be on my phone, but it's being fixed
right now by Mountain Phone Fix. Huh sorry, answer is no, Okay, Well,
(15:26):
I may or may not have just lost my home.
Oh golly, do you need a place to see I
am not holding this bank hostage. Want everyone to know
any plants in my head? I think he just heard
his back. Oh thank god, cut in my hand. Oh
(15:47):
my god, it's a chip in my head to the gun. Anyway,
I actually feel really calm, and I thought that my
husband boyfriend being in the hospital in the IC, you
would freak me out. And maybe you know usually I
lose sleep when I'm stressed. But I feel like it's
the post holing. I think it is. I think it is.
(16:09):
And I gotta tell you that I have been stressed myself,
and I've never asked a client to do this before.
But if if you have it in you, would you
mind post told me mommy, mommy, schoolmate? Do I need
to be here for this baby? Yeah? If you didn't
(16:30):
throw up this morning, no, you could have gone to school.
But you threw up this morning. So here you are,
you know, and I have to I have to keep
going with my day. So I'm watching you. I'm taking
care of you. Want to see you post hold this man? Well?
I also question question um. I see that we're almost
at the top of this hike. I'm wondering. I gotta
check in a couple of things. His how's his ankle? Um?
(16:54):
How's everyone's grammar situation coming? I just need a lot
of answers before I get there for the altar answer.
Clear some things up before I get there. Okay, let's
go back to Mr Ankle. Then, what can you take you? Friends?
So it's so, it's okay. It sounds like he's being
a real champ. Anyone else have qualified an exclamation that
(17:17):
I again am going to say, pretty calmly, pretty even keel,
I am still extremely concerned, and his ankle is swelling up. Yeah,
I also want to jump on there. I mean, we're
all kind of fine breathing wise, Henley is is almost
about the past. I don't know if you heard him
just say we're good. I'm okay. I think I see
a bear. And that's scene one. That was a good
(17:43):
time for a question. Scene too comes from from patron
v I P. Mike berdie e r d e y
erdie erdie erdie who wrote, hey, alchemists, irrelevant time listener,
not important time caller. I mean, hot damn? Why do
(18:05):
humans think those are needed to be said words? And
what's even worse is when other humans go out of
their way to intentionally dookie on another people's fun and
literally type their winding into the message along with their
scene suggestion. I tell you what, how that's for self awareness?
(18:27):
I got a hoty it for you person at a
dentist's office with a tooth they found. Yeah, I don't
I don't have an appointment, but uh, I figured I
could just say the dog or something. Sarah, you'll have
to fill out these these h the paperwork. Though I
understand you don't have an appointment, you have to fill
out the paperwork anyway. So what's your first what's your
(18:48):
first name, Sarah? My first name is Chrome. That's a
beautiful name. C R U m B Is it c
a U m B alright? MB like my aura? No? No, aur, alright,
like the letter A, B, C, d E, F, g
h I, j K, element O, p q R S,
t v w x y z c R A U
(19:09):
m B. I'm hearing Aura? Is that? Sir? Would you
just spell your name for me? I'm sorry, this is
Janet come on my office for a second saying I
want to say, I'm sorry you talking? Are you talking
to Janet met skurr Janet met skin Met Skurry Sorry sorry, no, no, no, no,
(19:29):
no no no no, it's literally it's never mes is
it okay? If I asked Janet to stay in with me,
I believe in woman power. Hey, and you know what,
we're in a time where maybe it's not safe that
one of you is alone with me in this office.
Are you a threat? I'm just being honest, you know
what I mean, Like you're threatening us? Well, the society
(19:53):
is telling me I'm a walking threat, So you know
what I mean. I don't know. So let's go what
and I role, here's what I want to say. You've
been doing great at the front desk. Thank you. I
think it's time you well, I think it's time you
hop behind the drill, if you know what I mean.
Are you being serious right now? Yeah? And Janet here,
(20:15):
she's good on suction. And I don't mean it that way.
I just mean you're going with the suction. Dr Philippian.
You are being absolutely inappropriate today and in a way
that I've never experienced. Uf hold on, I'm saying you
two would make a good tag team. I don't mean
it that. How many bades you're talking about to fill out?
Are you? I forgive me, you're almost done. The doctor
(20:40):
just called me into a little situation because I am
now about to be a dentist and or a hidentist.
All right, So it was different than what you were doing.
Or I was just taking people, having them fill out
the paperwork before they went in to see. Yeah, so
I'm going to take over with the paperwork because I
was going to get a emotion, but I was honestly
(21:02):
speaking up too much. I'm Janet Metskin and and I
should have shut my fucking mouth. No, no, Janet, you
never leave your mouth running. I'm stuck at this lower
I mean, I'm not. I'm not. I can't get a
promotion here like you just moved up so fast. You're
getting a thirty dollar raise just from without actually having
(21:22):
a certification. Not that she won't be good at it,
She'll be very good at it. I just shut my
fucking mouth. Sorry, I mean, don't you have to become
a doctor to be a dentist and all that? Not here?
Oh God, the last question before we take you back
in and said the dentist mode of transportation? Did you
get here with the car? I could have done this
(21:44):
all verbally. I didn't have to write it down. I'm sorry.
So we just recrying paperwork. Alright, Kyle h. That is
gonna do it. Your check up looks good as usual. Um. Unfortunately,
it's going to be another six months until we see
each other again, which is kind of a bummer for me.
If I'm being honest, I like that time here. I'd
like you in the chair, in the chair. I'm not
(22:06):
gonna lie. Yeah, did you You're such a character, you know,
did you find all my tea? I found them all,
found them all, found them all, clean them all. You're good,
You're good. I can't commax for such more months. It's
(22:30):
such a character. This guy medsican. Yeah. Yeah, did you
see Kyle here today? Did you say hi to him? Hi?
Kyle going. It's going, it's going. I can't say it's
going well, but it's going. Yeah. Open your mouth real quick.
(22:50):
Look at their madskin. What do you see? I see
t I see a tongue. I see a hard pallette,
a soft pallet. Sheeks. I see a solid great land
on the right. I see a solid the Tory grounds
on the left. He tastes buds. I see a uvula.
I see some polyps in the back of the throat,
(23:11):
which could be from allergies. But I'm not a doctor, alright,
So when we're in security here, you gotta check everybody.
And you know, they got the names of all the doctors,
all the offices on the ball. Hold on a second,
look at this guy, see's look at this freak? Al right? Guarantee,
guarantee that guy came out of doctor Philippians all rights,
the weirdest people coming out of his dental officer. I there,
(23:32):
you're right now, it's weird as hell. Man, Well do
you know this guy? Never heard of this guy? Who's
this guy? You don't gotta answer that. That's not what
we do. You don't gotta I'm not gonna answer this guy.
I gotta answer this guy. Guys, he's still around. I'm
not gonna look as she's still around. He's gone, He's gone.
(23:53):
Thank god, Oh my god, thank I get all that.
He'd be jeeves crazy people going up there. Man, we
weren't security, you know what I mean? Oh my god,
that's the philip third floor, room six six. So you
found a tooth, yeah, all of you. All of you
(24:15):
found a dentist. I'm a dentist. Okay, Well I'm I'm
a forensic orthodontist. Okay, yes, I used to be a
forensic proctologist. Now I'm a forensic orthodontist. What's what's the difference, Well, one, uh,
it's different holes. Basically, if I made up I'm Dr Phillipian.
(24:39):
This is my assistant slash new promoted dentist Janet metzker
c t z g e R. This is uh, that's
kid and this is our new our new friending client, Crumb.
How are you doing? Crumb? Found something that I really
(25:01):
appreciate you saying we're friends. We gave you a pen
when you came in right to keep? Yes, yeah, that's
a friends do. Thank you. So it's a gift. Okay.
All of that exposition is helpful for me in order
to kind of figure out the relationships. It's what But
(25:23):
it really doesn't affect my job in terms of investigating
the tooth and determining from whom it came? Do you
give this to everybody or is it depends just for me? Well,
new clients, new friends, we call them friends. Thank you,
thank you. I'm gonna need a few months with this tooth.
What Look, it's a slow process. Okay. How about this?
(25:48):
What if I leave Janet Metskin here with you? Oh?
Do you of other women working here in this office?
You sir? Look, I do have an assistant named Janet
met Stein, so that that could be confusing. I know
that I love I thrive around other Janets. Doctor did
(26:12):
you call me? But I heard my name. Yes, Janet
met Stein. This is Janet met Skan, and she's going
to be working alongside you for the next several months
while we try to ascertain the origins of this lone tooth.
I'm actually going who found the tooth? Thank you? I'm
working in the mouth right now because you're working. Honey.
Get used to him saying both our first and last
(26:34):
names all the time, no problem. I love that Janet
mets Stein. In this entire time with with no there's
been no reason to distinguish between her or any other
Janet were the last name beginning with Mets. So it's
pure happenstance that another Janet for the last name beginning
with Mets is now employed. And honestly, it's uh self affirming.
(26:55):
I feel so affirmed when someone says my full name.
I feel like they know me. Wow your crom Yeah,
how are you doing? Man? Hey, it's good to see you. Man.
The other day when we met on the streeting we
exchange the hub, I slipped something into your hip pocket
and I needed back. Oh, oh that's a A. That's
(27:18):
a A or tho something fornacologist? You mean krom he Hey,
now chill out. Okay, chill out. All right. Look, I
didn't know what it was at first. I thought it
was a gift from God. All right, you know I've
been having these dreams, you know, the ruth. If one
of us thripped something into the other one's pocket, you
(27:39):
leave it there. Now I know that. Look, I made
a mistake, alright, I messed up. But I made some
new friends along the way. Isn't that something? Doesn't that
mean anything? That you opened with that? I wish you
had led with that? Can you buried the lead? Man,
you buried the lead, you made fit. I didn't know
(28:00):
you put your face in my bosom, and just I
don't blame you. You Okay, you can get you can
get out. Now, you can get out, Now, you can
get out. Yeah. I'm I'm an ortho horticulturist. I'm the
only one in town. But I don't know anything about
this tooth. Uh Well, nail here said you did? We
(28:26):
need a tooth man, my buddy, he says, I need
your tooth man. Please can't just take your tooth. Okay,
I'm an orthohol horticulturist. I help chewing plants like venus
fly traps, chewing teeth. Man, Yeah, we get it. Man,
give us one of your teams, give us a tooth.
That's that's not how it works. You. You might want
(28:47):
my brother. He's a he's a forensic orthodonist, formerly a
forensic proctologist. Oh that's the guy. That's the guy. Yes,
that's the guy. Man. Yeah, he's got the office across
the way. We'll give us one of your teeth. I'm
not giving you one of my teeth. Then, Linda's the tooth. Yeah,
how long you need it? Janet, Mets shut up. I've
(29:21):
been doing some thinking, I know, and I've been doing
some running and the sweat, and I was thinking, why
did I so easily just just give you to this
office over here? Right? You belong with us, you belong
at Dr Philipians. And as a matter of fact, I
think starting tomorrow you and Met Sker Janet, your hair
(29:42):
is still here, right, Metscarret, I think you two should
run the office. You know, maybe I should be the receptionist.
You both know what you're doing. Will you come back
run the office? I mean, you know the reception is whatever.
Admit this. I do not wear a skirt every day.
(30:03):
That is not a thing that is not just receptionists
were little skirts. Oh, it's a it's a youthing. You're me.
That's me, and it's not every day, but it's me.
Don't go dressing like me. That that's gonna make me
really piste off. I don't like people are fighters. Don't
be a fighter. I'm not gonna bite. I'm not gonna
bite your style. So what do we say? Uh, Philip,
(30:27):
I've been looking at the data and the tooth itself
is hollow. It's strange. I've never seen anything like this.
I mean to explain. When you say hollow, are you
saying that there's nothing inside it? In a way, what
I'm trying to say is that it the tooth itself.
If you follow me for a second here, I'm following you.
If you're leading, I'm guaranteed to follow. It's how I am. Well.
(30:48):
I prefer if it was side by siding, full sprint,
I'll follow you. I'll follow you to abreast. We're both
facing each other. Um um, the tooth. The tooth is hollow.
Phil It's I can't understand it. I mean, just look
at the charts. Look how I have sire. It is
(31:12):
one of them showing me the tooth is as hollow
as the chart that preceded it. And look at this graph.
If I flip it over here and then flip it
over here, it's a different image. Okay, Philippian, I know
I was kind of giving you the cold shoulder before,
but turns out we lost the tooth. It's in some
other person's hands. I don't know them. I don't know
if they're even or thope periodontal excavators like my boss.
(31:38):
So I'm out and I'm back with you. If like,
I just want to be I want to wash my
hands at that fucking tooth. I want to wash my
hands at that too, And you're okay, I just do
the front desks something. You can wear a skirt if
you want. You can wear skirt if you want. You
can wear one every day. Okay, please take your hands
off my shoulder. It feels like you don't need to.
(32:00):
You don't have this moment with me and also be physical. Okay,
that was just me trying to I'm reaching out now
you're now you're doing an exclamation because you're raising your
voice at the end of this. So now I'm being
yelled at or is it a question you know I'm
not really sure, and that's kind of the problem. So
now it's mental fucker. Okay, it's a little bit, and
(32:20):
that's because now I'm in the position of power. Can
you a second? H Yes, I'm calling for jan Sorry, sir,
give me the phone. You don't, I'm the re second
you just answered? Hi. Dr Philippians Office. How can I
help you? Hi, I'm calling for Janet. Sorry, Janet am
Sorry Janet Mets. I'm gonna need more information please sorry,
(32:53):
Oh mommy, make it stop. Same three comes through some
patron al cominia Mike del Russell, who submitted four scene suggestions,
so thank you for all of them, Mike, Scene one,
gene shorts, sexy Seorg's that's it comedy gold. So anyway,
(33:21):
this is oh, yes, thank you. I'll have a pink
lemon Do you have pink lemonade? Of course, yeah, I
would love a pink lemonade. By the way, we make
our pink lemonade a little bit different here. The pink
comes from the fresh strawberries. I mole strawberries in the morning,
you mold them, sir. So are you stealing for a
NASCAR pink lemonade? I mean, I'm overwhelmed with information. Right now,
(33:45):
I'm sure I'll have the mold pink lemonade mentally fatigued.
I got a gift for my roommate, and I'm not
sure if it's gonna work or not. So I would
you mind weighing in on the matter. I'd be happy to.
(34:07):
One of the things I do here, wait right there,
I'll be right back, is how to put these on.
I'll be mulling the strawberries. I'll say, hey, Derek, Derek,
come here. Yeah, fella just went to the bathroom. Man,
he's gonna come back in just a moment. He's gonna
put something moaning. I thought I thought you might want
(34:28):
to join in on the party. Look, we're still kind
of in to fight, you and I. Okay, I know
we're very angry at each other right now, because I
feel like you've got a label. You can't just call
it a pink lemonade. It's gonna be called the strawberry lemonade.
I mean it's a it's I just see color. Of course,
that's your thing. You always just see color. That's what
I talked about. I'm sorry, who do I talked about
(34:49):
the lemonade that beat okay you okay, great, well my son,
let's just choked on the pink lemonade. Okay, then that's possible.
What strawberries here? I didn't mull him enough, probably too much,
sent its fourteen chicken into pink lemony. Do you wanna
(35:12):
tell me why? Everybody? Everybody hold the phones. Look at
this walking out. Those denim they are they're denim all
the way up down. It's still lodged in my throat.
What's your problem? Hey, Karen? Take a beat? What's your problem?
(35:36):
My name? You got? You got your name pasted on
the front of your shirt? Her? What I do? Oh
my god? Yeah, I'm Karen Myers. Karen Meyer's a second
place I used to company. I spoke three lanes it Karen?
(36:03):
Oh my god, Karen? Do I know you? Do I
know you? Yeah? It's me Jannice Sylvanio. I haven't seen
you in months. Month. The last time I saw you,
we were supposed to text each other. I sent you
a photo of that guy I was maybe going to
go on a dame with and you never thought back
(36:24):
to me. Thank you everybody for meeting me. Now. This
is an emergency turns out patient too four one two
is conscious yes, four to one to is getting accounts?
My break twelve go on. She's coming to everybody, She's
(36:44):
coming to I just told we erased her past about
how to say consciousness. Jim a couple of attempts, and
then Jim, you need to get off his I'm allowed
(37:06):
to happenim here he is emotional support. Oh he's We're
not hearing from him anymore because Okay, I'm gonna I'm
gonna fall on the sword here and tell you something.
I'm kind of responsible. I put a shirt on her
with her name on the front of it. I wasn't
(37:26):
even thinking. Jesus, I don't know what I was thinking
at the time. I guess I wasn't even thinking. If
you'd like, I'll quit the medical business forever. Don't over
is her beautiful home? Somebody? I think that one's overlisted? Yeah,
this is a nice sport. Karen, Karen, can you tell
(37:47):
us about this listing place? How do you do my name? Okay?
Do you have ever heard of the amazing Kreskin? Do
I ever heard of the amazing cres Do you, Peter, Peter?
When you awake, I will have substituted the words have
(38:11):
for it do kind of three? Three? Do I do
something in my eye? Hi, sir, welcome to the food
place where we have pink lemonade. Okay, I guess something
(38:32):
for you, Yes, sir? Yeah? Did you tell the dude
in front of me? Yeah, you work here, so you're yeah,
I'm not talking to you and we're still I didn't
know if you're asking me if I wanted it, because
I've had it several times, A pink lemonade, A pink lemonade?
Would I would like a pink lemonade to go with these? George? Okay,
Well I was trying to say, okay, great, no problem.
(38:55):
Are you trying to tell me team meat, team meat
right now? At you would get your asses in the
back bringing your team Excuse me, don't go serve your
table and then come to the team meet. Don't saying
team meet E T T and there in that right there? Nope,
(39:22):
you are in there. If we we've got to work
on especially front of house. But I am noticing the
backup house and that the servers are doing this to
stop calling this the place that serves food and paint lemonade.
It is called Island Breezes. That is a great name.
It is a great name. We should that we should
(39:45):
call serve it before it gets cold because of the
team meat. Don't look, I don't care. Okay, we're not
opening any of my presence. No one's gonna drink anything
when a cutting any cake until Kyle gets back with
(40:07):
my gift. Okay, he's made one of my closest friends
in my roommate and he said, who's going out to
give me a gift? All right? Back, but look, it's
it's almost midnight now. Your birthday is almost tired. Man,
we're tired. Let you know what, then get the hell
out of you that you never leave you on your
birthday and you hate to even both broached the subject.
(40:30):
But is there a chance that Kyle went to get
you a gift? What you mean like a repeating image,
like a virtual image getting you an n f T
for your birthday? Dude? Yeah, my god? What is n
f T? What is that? What is that? Non fund
fungible fun? You think it was non fucking tits? Has
(40:57):
what you thought? I did think it was nice. Hey, man,
you're gonna bring my cold ribbi over here or not?
I'm sitting here for a wow waiting the eyes cold, Ribbi,
Sure I am. You're not gonna believe what I clearly
you climbed up to the top of a mountain and
(41:18):
probably called yourself a post hole in the way you
bring in the postal. Yeah, don't worry about it. I
would like my eyes cold, Robbi. Well, sir, here it is.
I'm not even gonna wear gloves when I put the
steak on your plate. Why would you wearing loved inside joke, Karen, Karen,
(41:38):
it's me Ted. We were in love, we got married,
we had children. I thought you died. I know you.
Your face is because I married your sister. Then why
am your face? Mom? Who is this guy? This is
my god, this is my son who looks like you.
(41:59):
It's my weed. Strawberry lodged my throat, Carol. Last night
I heard you two went on a high Korean never
came back. Okay, they said you died. See is it,
sweetie who's at the dirt. It's your dead sister. She's
(42:22):
come back. Hey, hey, hey, this doesn't change anything between utes, Kelly.
So your sister came back. Yeah, she came and she's
been she's been dead for three years. And after what
I mean, we didn't hear from her for two months,
and that's when we kind of assumed that she was dead.
(42:43):
And that's when me and her husband got together. After
six months, we were married and we're together and I
live in his house and I wear all her clothes,
and I don't understand how all of a sudden she's back, Like,
does she want her ship back? Does she want her
man back? Because to me, it's my as a lawyer,
as a lawyer, and specifically as your lawyer, I have
(43:05):
to tell you she deserves everything back. She's alive. We
have to return the clothing and man into this small
mountain town. I'm sorry. I would like to lie to
you right now and say keep everything that you have
and you've earned his love. But that's that's not the look. Son.
(43:27):
I know you've got that strawberry large in your throat.
I don't sound like this normally, but maybe we can
use this all right, If everyone could just take the seats, please,
(43:49):
we can get back to some sort of semblance of
a city council meeting. Now we were here, we are,
we were discussing name change from our town. Can I
just say that I really did appreciate when we took
them all stretch, So I really appreciate that we don't
do that that often. And yeah, I just like I
(44:11):
like that. I think we should mean that Miami's were tight. Yeah, yeah,
these were the things we were talking about before the stretch.
I like it if we could all just move on.
Want the name of the last seventy eight years is
the small mountain town. And we were discussing possible name changes.
Tommy Island Breeze, the manager at Island Breeze, and that
(44:36):
is already taken. Where's Island Breeze, I don't know. From
the corner of Third and Chestnut. Now people are calling
all the time place with the food and the breeze
for a town name. That's a good town. That's a
great name for a town. All right, I'm to put
(45:00):
Island Breeze singular at the top of our list for
name changes. And uh, wild expressive lady who works at
the restaurant called yea name too. You know, I've got
a name to Olympkins vote on Wildly expressive lady if like,
do I hear? I like her name to be wildly
(45:22):
expressions support. Maybe she has an idea for this for
the town name. Yes, I'm kidching a cold. I want
to say, keep my day day appreciate. He's the one
who's thoughtful. Uh, lady with the wild expressions, Did you
(45:43):
have a town name? Suggested m bim blam. That's that's
my suggestion that just R M R A M B
I M b L. You am no, Aura's none there?
Well actually yes, A M alright and b L I
am b L. Thank you, thank you for making my
(46:12):
point that I'm not such an asshole for suggesting you
have a name other than the one you were born with. Yes, well,
don't have them you'r sick. Those gene shorts do look good.
They look a little too good to be in our restaurant.
How are they too good? I mean, we've never seen
anything quite like this here at the place where we
(46:33):
serve food. And is it the buns or the bulbous
junk area? It's everything, okay, it's everything soup to nuts
from literally from your soup all the way to your nuts.
Is everything? Okay, Okay, Well, I'm gonna spend one more
time see if you change your mind. You just asked
you literally as our opinion. You know, I actually I
(46:57):
don't need to know the origin of the song where
you got the idea to write it. I'm telling you
right now, I want to buy it. Um. I love
that it's about a birthday present that never came, that
it's about jean shorts that make you feel sexy and
how on sexy you feel not having them. I think
it's a perfect country song. So we're gonna I'm willing
to buy the rights to it. Well, that's great, but
(47:18):
I just really wanted to fund a way to offload
this tooth Uh. That's our show for today. Oh my goodness.
I don't know that I've seen Chris cry that much,
Oh my god, or or lost my own ship like
I can break from kind of time. But this one
was human. Dude, you're human, Craig said. I don't usually
(47:42):
that was it. That was it. Thank you and every
damn one of you for making this a spectacular day. Um.
Let's start with Jackie de Ruth. Jackie, thank you, thank you,
thank you, damn it, thank you. This is so nice.
How's how's the puppy? You do it? You know, the
puppy has been sick since like day two, but she's
(48:07):
doing well. Like her you know, her energy is good
and all of that but she had giardia and now
she has a cool I and um, what's going on? Yeah?
Is there a reason you keep giving her these different diseases? Well,
I do keep putting her instead of like a bath,
I just put her in a bucket of ship. So
I think that that's not happening. I think that's yeah.
(48:29):
I think that's ye old bucket of ships. To beat
that versus the crate. It's always a quick decision, but
she loves it, she's comforted by it. So well, good
luck with her. Thank you. And I want to make
it clear no animals or hurt or I'm an animal
lover's going to treat them right. Thank you for having me.
(48:51):
Please speaking of poopless dogs, Chris, Well, you know, first
of all, fuck so much fun today, Gary. It's always
great when you're here, you teach you. Okay, this so
much fun. Thank you for that. But I do want
to go back to the sick dog because when Jackie
first described what she called a pot cake, which we
all had to learn what that was, I think her
definitione was a feral dog from the Caribbean. So I
(49:14):
want to follow it up by saying I have no
surprise that an ounce of surprised at me that this
dog is also a disease written if it comes from
the streets of the careber. I mean that's no, it
just mean a ferreal street dog in general. Okay, whereast
my case plays us into the comedy fix at Cross Varado.
I love you all and thank you for that podcast. Honestly,
(49:34):
it's damn terrific. No, I'm a fan. Marked me down
as a fan place well, I look forward to marking
you all down as guests soon are you know you
can threaten and then you can book me. It's it's
up to you. Gary. Yeah, thank you so damn much,
hey man for a twelve the first twelve years of
my life I lived as a feral dog in the
(49:56):
creer years about a d I don't know how many
of that is, And no, let that be let to
a lot of you young Ferrell dogs out there. Never
give up, never given. I got that e COLI going strong. Uh.
By the way, uh, Gary Anthony Williams, I know what
you're gonna ask. Gary Anthony Williams on Instagram. I know
(50:19):
you were going to ask that. Thank you for that,
and it's just a real American plasure to be with
you guys on these special days. Oh man American who
grew up in the Caribbean. But just when we got
Chris to stop crying, you come at us with all
that love. Craigkowski. I want to thank you you and
(50:40):
your haircut. Uh it's been over a years since I've
had a real big boy haircut, and uh it's it
feels good. Got acupuncture and a haircut for the first
time during the pandemic yesterday. So like, I'm double vexed
um out there living my life in things. Mother, What
(51:08):
could happen that I got phuli vas? And the first
thing I did was I joined an anti vax protest
outside of Trader Joe's and I joined. I just screamed
with them for us, and I felt strangers the right thing.
Oh sorry about that, I said, Well, panicked that my
computer had announced to me it was about to shut
(51:28):
all of this down because to plug it in. Yeah,
it's always great to be under the control of fucking
dead Steve Jobs. Listen. That leads us with Joey Greer,
who's near and dear Joey, is there something valuable that
you'd like to share before we sign off? Yeah, and
I'm glad you h you seguged me like that because uh,
(51:51):
not to talk us the company, of course, which is
actually making motorcycles now. Um, I think they're using hydrogen
cells for their motorcycles, which is amazing. You know, what
does that mean though? Technology wise? Right? I mean, I
mean there's a reason also why Tesla Motors isn't in
like your Grand Prix and and competitive racing because you
(52:12):
can't put those fires out? So like what does that mean? Uh?
But that's the beyond beyond what I want to say,
And my point is this is that. But actually I
just lost it. That one documentary, Drive to Survive. It's
two seasons on Netflix. It's very great. I never thought
i'd be it. But three seasons. Well, I'm on season
to Chris, so you had to talk now, let me talk,
(52:34):
And I I was just trying to be helping. I
think there's if if you you know, it's unless like
our producer and engineer to the Stars, Mr dug Bain
fighting votes that I heart media. Uh, this is kind
(52:57):
of call like your host reminding you our new email
is Alchemy this email at gmail dot com. Thank you
all for joining us. Please be kind to each other.
It's the easiest way to be wear masks and have yes,
thank you, and that's our show Alchemy this it was
(53:27):
so much fun.
Welcome back to another episode of Altim. It is COVID Night.
I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. Yes that yes, Hey man, look,
I'm just trying to get behind like everybody else. You
know why you gotta come at me hard like this? Wait?
What you did? Damn man? Thank you? But I digress.
Let's meet a rock and Michelley no particular order to say.
(00:22):
Hey to Craig Atkowski. Cow. What film are you certain
you've seen more times than any other? This is spinal tap?
That's correct answer. Okay, than great. I was worried about
maybe getting it wrong, but I think we have nailed it.
Information is your information? Line up? Yeah? I got mine
(00:42):
off the internet, so that's kind of weird. Hey, there's
Chris Alvarado Captain booked It was there a troubling dream
recently that you care to share? No, I've been having
dreamless sleeps but really deep in long sleeps, so I'm
feeling good. But her dreams good deal? What the hell?
(01:03):
Jackie ruthy doggie Mama? Is there a special ingredient you
like to include when making tuna salad? Um? You know
I don't like salary in general and in life, but
I do like it in a tuna salad, but instead
of mayonnaise, I like honey mustard. Now you're talking. Now
you're talking my langy all right? Like it? And now
(01:24):
Gary Anthony Williams, Gary in w what's your least favorite smell?
My least favorite? Oh uh, fabreeze. That's right, that's correct.
I'm sick. I hate it. Yeah, I don't want to
(01:44):
get racist, but I thank you for all of that.
And last but just the rim. If you think of least,
it's Joey Greer trade of all. Jack's what makes a
pie better? I know Chris wants to answer this, but
let me jump in here for a second. Um, what
makes a pie better? I'll tell you right now. First off,
(02:06):
pies aren't just two layers. It's not just the crust
and then the filling itself and maybe a top, and right,
that's that's not what a pie is. A pie is
an act. It's a feeling, it's a vision, it's emotion.
And when you understand those things that when you're cooking,
and it's not just cooking, it's baking, because cooking is
obviously just feeling baking, this is science and that's a
big difference. And a pie. Is that pies used in math.
(02:28):
It's using graphs and it's also used in your food.
So think about that next time you need. Okay, All
of our scene suggestions are gathered from listener emails or
from our patron peas to become a patron supporter of
the show and enjoy exclusive content. For example, video of
everything Joey just said. Just head on over to patreon
(02:48):
dot com slash alchemy this. If you'd like to submit
a scene suggestion via email, please right to the podcast
at our spanking new email address, Alchemy. This e mail
at gmail dot com. That's Alchemy this email at gmail
dot com. That's one comes from patron a comaniac, Mary
(03:10):
Grace Russo, such a good alcmaniac who wrote, Hi, y'all,
whoo whoo. Cash flow is okay, So back to alcmaniac
for me to Alaska. Yeah yeah, Mary Grayce, if you're
listening right now, right to us again and please let
(03:32):
us know how things go in Alaska. Love supporting all
of you, she goes on and truly missing and learning
from you guys, the ones who teach. I have to say,
I love Gary Anthony Williams. Well you didn't have to say.
She had to say it. His voice is perfect. She
goes on okay. Also also so happy to have Vanessa
(03:56):
back for some episodes and always look forward to hearing
sheet for turned. Yeah, she would be a part. She
was and will be a part of Austin's sketch best
with us. Um, you can probably pick up an episode
after the fact just by Google searching. That motherfucker. I
do actually have a scene suggestion. Since moving to Alaska,
I learned about a new activity called post holding. Have
(04:21):
fun MG now I I looked up post holing in
case anybody wanted to know. It's when your boot covered
foot takes a vertical plunge similar to a fence post
while out walking or hiking in the snow. Didn't hear
it any of that. Uh, We're just gonna go up
(04:42):
this next pass here, and I want everyone to sort
of keep your eye on the prize and that's down
by your boots, especially where you're walking. We want to
make sure everybody is safe and able to make it
to the top of the hill. There are any questions
at this point before I have a question, but I'm
I won't go up at the end like normal question
I'm just gonna keep it flat. I like that that
(05:03):
works for me. I have an ankle situation. Should I
should I be concerned? Well, I would need you to
be a tad more specific. I'm sorry, I just want
to make a statement here. That's not a question. He
did dip down. He said he was going to keep
it flat, but the concern did dip down. So just
just you know, uh comment comment here not not not
(05:26):
a statement nor a question. Um I think, um, I
think his ankle situation is private. Frankly wow, And I
actually have an exclamation, but I'm not. It's not going
to get louder or more excited. Um Mine two is
going to probably stay pretty even killed. It might go
up at the end as if it was a question,
But don't be don't be confused. It is an exclamation. Uh,
(05:49):
I understand ankle issues, and for me, I actually am
like extremely worried about you and think that maybe this
is going to be a problem one way there. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
this is a statement and not a question. Sure, that
was confusing. I feel like everybody's piggybacking ont my ankle situation.
(06:12):
Something seemed to be in supportive of me. Others seem
to be making fun of me. But but, but, but,
but my my, My flat tone question remains the same.
Should I be concerned? It sounds like you've got nothing
to be concerned about unless you're going to be more
specific about the situation. And I just kind of want yeah,
I mean, I'm sorry, I gotta just jump in here. Um,
(06:34):
So we covered the ankle situation. Now I'm looking to
reach some kind of enlightenment on this journey. I wonder
what the percentage of me hitting that inlanten finding that
inlantenment will be once we get to the top. Um,
can you answer that for me? Please? That's on a
person by person basis, and you're sort of in control
of your own destiny on that one there, And that's good. Yeah,
(06:56):
you'll you'll, you'll know when you get it when you
get there. Yeah, Actually have a question as well, and
I will deliver it in a flat tone. It will
not go up at the end nor down all the qualifiers, folks.
But sure, Um, although Henley is not concerned about his
ankle anymore, I still am so. Am I still encouraged
(07:18):
to take this hike? Or should I stay back? Because
I am actively concerned? And perhaps getting a little bit anxious.
Well that was a long sentence. There's maybe actually question.
It was actually thought. All sentences are questions. Yeah, I'm
more of a than a therapist. And uh, it seems
like we might be a mixed group on who needs what?
(07:42):
If I can get all the sharpersts to step into
the room, if of course we all carry things. Look, guys,
we're gonna have a there's a big hikery coming in
this weekend. Doesn't count as my break? No, no, no.
By the way, I'm pay and you triple time for
your break just because you brought it up. Okay, so
(08:05):
this also doesn't work count as my break either. Um, Tina, Yeah,
if I could call you by your middle name, Tina.
Let's not concern ourselves so much with what others are doing,
but let's concern ourselves more with what we're doing about
what others are doing. Okay, that's that's something Tina will
work on. Thank you. Who's who's taking this hickery? There's
(08:28):
a big highckery coming in with some people that call
themselves gcs the grammarly challenged. Now what what what? What
you're going to notice is that they like to put
qualifiers on a lot of things. Oh okay, does anyone
want to lead the hickery of the GCS. I just
(08:49):
feel like I shouldn't concern myself with other people's problems,
so maybe I shouldn't be taking them on that if
they have this grammar problem. If I'm working on Scott,
I'm happy to take this group. I'm not really impressed
by qualifiers, Fras, let's do it, Okay, let's get okay,
miss Dumpting. I'm just looking at the check here, and
(09:10):
I'm so sorry. I just had to come back and
I wasn't able to put into your account. Um it
is made out to Tina Dumpting. Yeah, and it's supposed
to be in her Kelly Dumpting. So I just final
name so it is legally it's in there. I can
change my passport. I had to go back and get it,
(09:32):
but I could. I could get it back the Mountain
Bank only just we only take the names that we
have on records. Kelly, what do you mean you didn't
cash your check? We need that money, baby. I couldn't
cash the check, Dinkas, and I would really appreciate it
if you called me by my middle name. Okay, listen,
Mr Dincris Dumpling, Mr Nikolas Dumpling to the front please.
(09:54):
Uh if that's dumpting, I'm sorry, so I don't see
that names. Look here, we're going to remove you from
your home within the next forty five minutes now unless
we can see some proof of fiduciaryna hold the phone.
(10:17):
Does anybody have a dictionary for ducci? I'm sorry speaking
elevated again, no kind of word that is, sir. Look,
I and a dictionary on my phone. Nor did you
please pass him your phone dictionary? Thank you? Turn to
(10:37):
the fs in the dictionary. Yeah, it's the d so
it's pretty big. I'm sorry, sir, but Mountain Phone Repair
we we can't just give you a new phone if
if you gave your phone to somebody else, I'm sorry, Well,
like I was asked to pass my phone along so
they could use the dictionary. Uh huh is that it
(11:01):
is that? The Yeah, I unwillingly gave my phone up.
I'm just saying I'm having real trouble understanding most of
the words you're using. I don't have my phone diction.
You to hurry it up up there, I need to
get a new phone? This? Do you the saurus? And
I need to get a new phone? Could you too?
Hurry up again? I'm look, Mountain Phone Repair does not
(11:22):
give out phones for those reasons. I'm being lost by
giving Look, Tina, what I'm saying is our relationship has
got to involve trust, okay, especially with regard to the
relationship between a trustee and a beneficiary, you know what.
And that's that's where I felt like, there's what the
disconnect is. I'm sorry, It's just you're using so many
(11:44):
big words that honestly sound business e and I thought
we were talking about our relationship and if you could
just help me to find them, like language of origin,
even that would help. Do you think give you some
of those words that would even help? Big? Do you
maybe you can put new work for me at the
UH at the lodging you were saying, Oh my gosh, yeah,
(12:07):
I can do that for sure. We're always boom boom boom.
I love this. Alright, alright, everyone out there listening to
the station, just say, you know, everyone's having a good day.
And to Mr Duncan dump dumpting, I don't even sure
what I'm saying his name correctly you have about ten
minutes before they repo your house. Just give it out
(12:29):
a warning out there to Mr Dumpting, all right from
the federal authority. Turn this down. Excuse me? What's going on?
Repo your how I live in your house? I know,
But Babe, you're also not a very good chirp and
always thinking maybe that's not be an opportunity for us
to go on a HI communicating with me. And I
(12:50):
just feel like that's really bad because when I talk
to my like therapist slash other, but you know it's
not technically a therapist, Kelly, Tina, come on into the
office now, Hi, Hi, did you get your water on
the way in? I know that you get very dry
in therapy session. Yeah, you had just a small dixie cup,
so I'd love more. But you know what I love
(13:12):
about dixie cup? Um, tell tell me this isn't about
me today, Tina. This is about you, okay. Um. I
know I don't know what you love about a dixie cup.
That's wonderful. Tina. Please lie down on the couch. I'm
going to lie down beside you and we're just going
(13:33):
to talk to this. Do you know what do you
mean your therapist post hold you, so so you lie
down the couch and then he post hold you, and
then he post holed me. And that apparently is like
a very good therapy for when you're having mental blocks
with and you're okay with us, you seem fine with us. Honestly,
it felt like a breakthrough, like I had never really
(13:54):
felt progress within my therapy. I felt good about it,
but I didn't feel progressed until he post holed yours.
What do you do? You can't what are you doing?
You can't build a Tantio's my god damn house. You
gotta get the hell out of here, all right. It's
about five after the hour. That's about fifty five before
the hour, and Mr dumped to the lean. I believe it.
(14:16):
Pro you have about two minutes before about two minutes
before yours. You Can you turn it down? Can you
turn that down? Place? That's order a burrito? I don't
know why every radio station in the city knows that
I'm being My house is being repot. Look, I can't
sell you a burrito and tell I know what time
it is, pal. That's why I gotta listen to that.
I gotta listen to the radio because it tells me
(14:37):
the time constantly. Look as you heard, my house is
being report. I wonder if maybe you can front me
a burrito this one time. And uh, you know, my
my girlfriend, my wife has gotta check. We gotta check. Man.
We're going to Mountain Bank and everything. Oh Mountain bank. Yeah,
you gotta you gotta like take a hike to to
get to the top of that mountain to use that
bank that they have one branch, Yeah, and literally on
(15:00):
a branch. Welcome to Mountain Bank. How can I help
you today? Hi? Um, you know, sir? Do you have
your radio by any chance? And if so, could you
to turn it up for one moment? I guess I
have would be on my phone, but it's being fixed
right now by Mountain Phone Fix. Huh sorry, answer is no, Okay, Well,
(15:26):
I may or may not have just lost my home.
Oh golly, do you need a place to see I
am not holding this bank hostage. Want everyone to know
any plants in my head? I think he just heard
his back. Oh thank god, cut in my hand. Oh
(15:47):
my god, it's a chip in my head to the gun. Anyway,
I actually feel really calm, and I thought that my
husband boyfriend being in the hospital in the IC, you
would freak me out. And maybe you know usually I
lose sleep when I'm stressed. But I feel like it's
the post holing. I think it is. I think it is.
(16:09):
And I gotta tell you that I have been stressed myself,
and I've never asked a client to do this before.
But if if you have it in you, would you
mind post told me mommy, mommy, schoolmate? Do I need
to be here for this baby? Yeah? If you didn't
(16:30):
throw up this morning, no, you could have gone to school.
But you threw up this morning. So here you are,
you know, and I have to I have to keep
going with my day. So I'm watching you. I'm taking
care of you. Want to see you post hold this man? Well?
I also question question um. I see that we're almost
at the top of this hike. I'm wondering. I gotta
check in a couple of things. His how's his ankle? Um?
(16:54):
How's everyone's grammar situation coming? I just need a lot
of answers before I get there for the altar answer.
Clear some things up before I get there. Okay, let's
go back to Mr Ankle. Then, what can you take you? Friends?
So it's so, it's okay. It sounds like he's being
a real champ. Anyone else have qualified an exclamation that
(17:17):
I again am going to say, pretty calmly, pretty even keel,
I am still extremely concerned, and his ankle is swelling up. Yeah,
I also want to jump on there. I mean, we're
all kind of fine breathing wise, Henley is is almost
about the past. I don't know if you heard him
just say we're good. I'm okay. I think I see
a bear. And that's scene one. That was a good
(17:43):
time for a question. Scene too comes from from patron
v I P. Mike berdie e r d e y
erdie erdie erdie who wrote, hey, alchemists, irrelevant time listener,
not important time caller. I mean, hot damn? Why do
(18:05):
humans think those are needed to be said words? And
what's even worse is when other humans go out of
their way to intentionally dookie on another people's fun and
literally type their winding into the message along with their
scene suggestion. I tell you what, how that's for self awareness?
(18:27):
I got a hoty it for you person at a
dentist's office with a tooth they found. Yeah, I don't
I don't have an appointment, but uh, I figured I
could just say the dog or something. Sarah, you'll have
to fill out these these h the paperwork. Though I
understand you don't have an appointment, you have to fill
out the paperwork anyway. So what's your first what's your
(18:48):
first name, Sarah? My first name is Chrome. That's a
beautiful name. C R U m B Is it c
a U m B alright? MB like my aura? No? No, aur, alright,
like the letter A, B, C, d E, F, g
h I, j K, element O, p q R S,
t v w x y z c R A U
(19:09):
m B. I'm hearing Aura? Is that? Sir? Would you
just spell your name for me? I'm sorry, this is
Janet come on my office for a second saying I
want to say, I'm sorry you talking? Are you talking
to Janet met skurr Janet met skin Met Skurry Sorry sorry, no, no, no, no,
(19:29):
no no no no, it's literally it's never mes is
it okay? If I asked Janet to stay in with me,
I believe in woman power. Hey, and you know what,
we're in a time where maybe it's not safe that
one of you is alone with me in this office.
Are you a threat? I'm just being honest, you know
what I mean, Like you're threatening us? Well, the society
(19:53):
is telling me I'm a walking threat, So you know
what I mean. I don't know. So let's go what
and I role, here's what I want to say. You've
been doing great at the front desk. Thank you. I
think it's time you well, I think it's time you
hop behind the drill, if you know what I mean.
Are you being serious right now? Yeah? And Janet here,
(20:15):
she's good on suction. And I don't mean it that way.
I just mean you're going with the suction. Dr Philippian.
You are being absolutely inappropriate today and in a way
that I've never experienced. Uf hold on, I'm saying you
two would make a good tag team. I don't mean
it that. How many bades you're talking about to fill out?
Are you? I forgive me, you're almost done. The doctor
(20:40):
just called me into a little situation because I am
now about to be a dentist and or a hidentist.
All right, So it was different than what you were doing.
Or I was just taking people, having them fill out
the paperwork before they went in to see. Yeah, so
I'm going to take over with the paperwork because I
was going to get a emotion, but I was honestly
(21:02):
speaking up too much. I'm Janet Metskin and and I
should have shut my fucking mouth. No, no, Janet, you
never leave your mouth running. I'm stuck at this lower
I mean, I'm not. I'm not. I can't get a
promotion here like you just moved up so fast. You're
getting a thirty dollar raise just from without actually having
(21:22):
a certification. Not that she won't be good at it,
She'll be very good at it. I just shut my
fucking mouth. Sorry, I mean, don't you have to become
a doctor to be a dentist and all that? Not here?
Oh God, the last question before we take you back
in and said the dentist mode of transportation? Did you
get here with the car? I could have done this
(21:44):
all verbally. I didn't have to write it down. I'm sorry.
So we just recrying paperwork. Alright, Kyle h. That is
gonna do it. Your check up looks good as usual. Um. Unfortunately,
it's going to be another six months until we see
each other again, which is kind of a bummer for me.
If I'm being honest, I like that time here. I'd
like you in the chair, in the chair. I'm not
(22:06):
gonna lie. Yeah, did you You're such a character, you know,
did you find all my tea? I found them all,
found them all, found them all, clean them all. You're good,
You're good. I can't commax for such more months. It's
(22:30):
such a character. This guy medsican. Yeah. Yeah, did you
see Kyle here today? Did you say hi to him? Hi?
Kyle going. It's going, it's going. I can't say it's
going well, but it's going. Yeah. Open your mouth real quick.
(22:50):
Look at their madskin. What do you see? I see
t I see a tongue. I see a hard pallette,
a soft pallet. Sheeks. I see a solid great land
on the right. I see a solid the Tory grounds
on the left. He tastes buds. I see a uvula.
I see some polyps in the back of the throat,
(23:11):
which could be from allergies. But I'm not a doctor, alright,
So when we're in security here, you gotta check everybody.
And you know, they got the names of all the doctors,
all the offices on the ball. Hold on a second,
look at this guy, see's look at this freak? Al right? Guarantee,
guarantee that guy came out of doctor Philippians all rights,
the weirdest people coming out of his dental officer. I there,
(23:32):
you're right now, it's weird as hell. Man, Well do
you know this guy? Never heard of this guy? Who's
this guy? You don't gotta answer that. That's not what
we do. You don't gotta I'm not gonna answer this guy.
I gotta answer this guy. Guys, he's still around. I'm
not gonna look as she's still around. He's gone, He's gone.
(23:53):
Thank god, Oh my god, thank I get all that.
He'd be jeeves crazy people going up there. Man, we
weren't security, you know what I mean? Oh my god,
that's the philip third floor, room six six. So you
found a tooth, yeah, all of you. All of you
(24:15):
found a dentist. I'm a dentist. Okay, Well I'm I'm
a forensic orthodontist. Okay, yes, I used to be a
forensic proctologist. Now I'm a forensic orthodontist. What's what's the difference, Well, one, uh,
it's different holes. Basically, if I made up I'm Dr Phillipian.
(24:39):
This is my assistant slash new promoted dentist Janet metzker
c t z g e R. This is uh, that's
kid and this is our new our new friending client, Crumb.
How are you doing? Crumb? Found something that I really
(25:01):
appreciate you saying we're friends. We gave you a pen
when you came in right to keep? Yes, yeah, that's
a friends do. Thank you. So it's a gift. Okay.
All of that exposition is helpful for me in order
to kind of figure out the relationships. It's what But
(25:23):
it really doesn't affect my job in terms of investigating
the tooth and determining from whom it came? Do you
give this to everybody or is it depends just for me? Well,
new clients, new friends, we call them friends. Thank you,
thank you. I'm gonna need a few months with this tooth.
What Look, it's a slow process. Okay. How about this?
(25:48):
What if I leave Janet Metskin here with you? Oh?
Do you of other women working here in this office?
You sir? Look, I do have an assistant named Janet
met Stein, so that that could be confusing. I know
that I love I thrive around other Janets. Doctor did
(26:12):
you call me? But I heard my name. Yes, Janet
met Stein. This is Janet met Skan, and she's going
to be working alongside you for the next several months
while we try to ascertain the origins of this lone tooth.
I'm actually going who found the tooth? Thank you? I'm
working in the mouth right now because you're working. Honey.
Get used to him saying both our first and last
(26:34):
names all the time, no problem. I love that Janet
mets Stein. In this entire time with with no there's
been no reason to distinguish between her or any other
Janet were the last name beginning with Mets. So it's
pure happenstance that another Janet for the last name beginning
with Mets is now employed. And honestly, it's uh self affirming.
(26:55):
I feel so affirmed when someone says my full name.
I feel like they know me. Wow your crom Yeah,
how are you doing? Man? Hey, it's good to see you. Man.
The other day when we met on the streeting we
exchange the hub, I slipped something into your hip pocket
and I needed back. Oh, oh that's a A. That's
(27:18):
a A or tho something fornacologist? You mean krom he Hey,
now chill out. Okay, chill out. All right. Look, I
didn't know what it was at first. I thought it
was a gift from God. All right, you know I've
been having these dreams, you know, the ruth. If one
of us thripped something into the other one's pocket, you
(27:39):
leave it there. Now I know that. Look, I made
a mistake, alright, I messed up. But I made some
new friends along the way. Isn't that something? Doesn't that
mean anything? That you opened with that? I wish you
had led with that? Can you buried the lead? Man,
you buried the lead, you made fit. I didn't know
(28:00):
you put your face in my bosom, and just I
don't blame you. You Okay, you can get you can
get out. Now, you can get out, Now, you can
get out. Yeah. I'm I'm an ortho horticulturist. I'm the
only one in town. But I don't know anything about
this tooth. Uh Well, nail here said you did? We
(28:26):
need a tooth man, my buddy, he says, I need
your tooth man. Please can't just take your tooth. Okay,
I'm an orthohol horticulturist. I help chewing plants like venus
fly traps, chewing teeth. Man, Yeah, we get it. Man,
give us one of your teams, give us a tooth.
That's that's not how it works. You. You might want
(28:47):
my brother. He's a he's a forensic orthodonist, formerly a
forensic proctologist. Oh that's the guy. That's the guy. Yes,
that's the guy. Man. Yeah, he's got the office across
the way. We'll give us one of your teeth. I'm
not giving you one of my teeth. Then, Linda's the tooth. Yeah,
how long you need it? Janet, Mets shut up. I've
(29:21):
been doing some thinking, I know, and I've been doing
some running and the sweat, and I was thinking, why
did I so easily just just give you to this
office over here? Right? You belong with us, you belong
at Dr Philipians. And as a matter of fact, I
think starting tomorrow you and Met Sker Janet, your hair
(29:42):
is still here, right, Metscarret, I think you two should
run the office. You know, maybe I should be the receptionist.
You both know what you're doing. Will you come back
run the office? I mean, you know the reception is whatever.
Admit this. I do not wear a skirt every day.
(30:03):
That is not a thing that is not just receptionists
were little skirts. Oh, it's a it's a youthing. You're me.
That's me, and it's not every day, but it's me.
Don't go dressing like me. That that's gonna make me
really piste off. I don't like people are fighters. Don't
be a fighter. I'm not gonna bite. I'm not gonna
bite your style. So what do we say? Uh, Philip,
(30:27):
I've been looking at the data and the tooth itself
is hollow. It's strange. I've never seen anything like this.
I mean to explain. When you say hollow, are you
saying that there's nothing inside it? In a way, what
I'm trying to say is that it the tooth itself.
If you follow me for a second here, I'm following you.
If you're leading, I'm guaranteed to follow. It's how I am. Well.
(30:48):
I prefer if it was side by siding, full sprint,
I'll follow you. I'll follow you to abreast. We're both
facing each other. Um um, the tooth. The tooth is hollow.
Phil It's I can't understand it. I mean, just look
at the charts. Look how I have sire. It is
(31:12):
one of them showing me the tooth is as hollow
as the chart that preceded it. And look at this graph.
If I flip it over here and then flip it
over here, it's a different image. Okay, Philippian, I know
I was kind of giving you the cold shoulder before,
but turns out we lost the tooth. It's in some
other person's hands. I don't know them. I don't know
if they're even or thope periodontal excavators like my boss.
(31:38):
So I'm out and I'm back with you. If like,
I just want to be I want to wash my
hands at that fucking tooth. I want to wash my
hands at that too, And you're okay, I just do
the front desks something. You can wear a skirt if
you want. You can wear skirt if you want. You
can wear one every day. Okay, please take your hands
off my shoulder. It feels like you don't need to.
(32:00):
You don't have this moment with me and also be physical. Okay,
that was just me trying to I'm reaching out now
you're now you're doing an exclamation because you're raising your
voice at the end of this. So now I'm being
yelled at or is it a question you know I'm
not really sure, and that's kind of the problem. So
now it's mental fucker. Okay, it's a little bit, and
(32:20):
that's because now I'm in the position of power. Can
you a second? H Yes, I'm calling for jan Sorry, sir,
give me the phone. You don't, I'm the re second
you just answered? Hi. Dr Philippians Office. How can I
help you? Hi, I'm calling for Janet. Sorry, Janet am
Sorry Janet Mets. I'm gonna need more information please sorry,
(32:53):
Oh mommy, make it stop. Same three comes through some
patron al cominia Mike del Russell, who submitted four scene suggestions,
so thank you for all of them, Mike, Scene one,
gene shorts, sexy Seorg's that's it comedy gold. So anyway,
(33:21):
this is oh, yes, thank you. I'll have a pink
lemon Do you have pink lemonade? Of course, yeah, I
would love a pink lemonade. By the way, we make
our pink lemonade a little bit different here. The pink
comes from the fresh strawberries. I mole strawberries in the morning,
you mold them, sir. So are you stealing for a
NASCAR pink lemonade? I mean, I'm overwhelmed with information. Right now,
(33:45):
I'm sure I'll have the mold pink lemonade mentally fatigued.
I got a gift for my roommate, and I'm not
sure if it's gonna work or not. So I would
you mind weighing in on the matter. I'd be happy to.
(34:07):
One of the things I do here, wait right there,
I'll be right back, is how to put these on.
I'll be mulling the strawberries. I'll say, hey, Derek, Derek,
come here. Yeah, fella just went to the bathroom. Man,
he's gonna come back in just a moment. He's gonna
put something moaning. I thought I thought you might want
(34:28):
to join in on the party. Look, we're still kind
of in to fight, you and I. Okay, I know
we're very angry at each other right now, because I
feel like you've got a label. You can't just call
it a pink lemonade. It's gonna be called the strawberry lemonade.
I mean it's a it's I just see color. Of course,
that's your thing. You always just see color. That's what
I talked about. I'm sorry, who do I talked about
(34:49):
the lemonade that beat okay you okay, great, well my son,
let's just choked on the pink lemonade. Okay, then that's possible.
What strawberries here? I didn't mull him enough, probably too much,
sent its fourteen chicken into pink lemony. Do you wanna
(35:12):
tell me why? Everybody? Everybody hold the phones. Look at
this walking out. Those denim they are they're denim all
the way up down. It's still lodged in my throat.
What's your problem? Hey, Karen? Take a beat? What's your problem?
(35:36):
My name? You got? You got your name pasted on
the front of your shirt? Her? What I do? Oh
my god? Yeah, I'm Karen Myers. Karen Meyer's a second
place I used to company. I spoke three lanes it Karen?
(36:03):
Oh my god, Karen? Do I know you? Do I
know you? Yeah? It's me Jannice Sylvanio. I haven't seen
you in months. Month. The last time I saw you,
we were supposed to text each other. I sent you
a photo of that guy I was maybe going to
go on a dame with and you never thought back
(36:24):
to me. Thank you everybody for meeting me. Now. This
is an emergency turns out patient too four one two
is conscious yes, four to one to is getting accounts?
My break twelve go on. She's coming to everybody, She's
(36:44):
coming to I just told we erased her past about
how to say consciousness. Jim a couple of attempts, and
then Jim, you need to get off his I'm allowed
(37:06):
to happenim here he is emotional support. Oh he's We're
not hearing from him anymore because Okay, I'm gonna I'm
gonna fall on the sword here and tell you something.
I'm kind of responsible. I put a shirt on her
with her name on the front of it. I wasn't
(37:26):
even thinking. Jesus, I don't know what I was thinking
at the time. I guess I wasn't even thinking. If
you'd like, I'll quit the medical business forever. Don't over
is her beautiful home? Somebody? I think that one's overlisted? Yeah,
this is a nice sport. Karen, Karen, can you tell
(37:47):
us about this listing place? How do you do my name? Okay?
Do you have ever heard of the amazing Kreskin? Do
I ever heard of the amazing cres Do you, Peter, Peter?
When you awake, I will have substituted the words have
(38:11):
for it do kind of three? Three? Do I do
something in my eye? Hi, sir, welcome to the food
place where we have pink lemonade. Okay, I guess something
(38:32):
for you, Yes, sir? Yeah? Did you tell the dude
in front of me? Yeah, you work here, so you're yeah,
I'm not talking to you and we're still I didn't
know if you're asking me if I wanted it, because
I've had it several times, A pink lemonade, A pink lemonade?
Would I would like a pink lemonade to go with these? George? Okay,
Well I was trying to say, okay, great, no problem.
(38:55):
Are you trying to tell me team meat, team meat
right now? At you would get your asses in the
back bringing your team Excuse me, don't go serve your
table and then come to the team meet. Don't saying
team meet E T T and there in that right there? Nope,
(39:22):
you are in there. If we we've got to work
on especially front of house. But I am noticing the
backup house and that the servers are doing this to
stop calling this the place that serves food and paint lemonade.
It is called Island Breezes. That is a great name.
It is a great name. We should that we should
(39:45):
call serve it before it gets cold because of the
team meat. Don't look, I don't care. Okay, we're not
opening any of my presence. No one's gonna drink anything
when a cutting any cake until Kyle gets back with
(40:07):
my gift. Okay, he's made one of my closest friends
in my roommate and he said, who's going out to
give me a gift? All right? Back, but look, it's
it's almost midnight now. Your birthday is almost tired. Man,
we're tired. Let you know what, then get the hell
out of you that you never leave you on your
birthday and you hate to even both broached the subject.
(40:30):
But is there a chance that Kyle went to get
you a gift? What you mean like a repeating image,
like a virtual image getting you an n f T
for your birthday? Dude? Yeah, my god? What is n
f T? What is that? What is that? Non fund
fungible fun? You think it was non fucking tits? Has
(40:57):
what you thought? I did think it was nice. Hey, man,
you're gonna bring my cold ribbi over here or not?
I'm sitting here for a wow waiting the eyes cold, Ribbi,
Sure I am. You're not gonna believe what I clearly
you climbed up to the top of a mountain and
(41:18):
probably called yourself a post hole in the way you
bring in the postal. Yeah, don't worry about it. I
would like my eyes cold, Robbi. Well, sir, here it is.
I'm not even gonna wear gloves when I put the
steak on your plate. Why would you wearing loved inside joke, Karen, Karen,
(41:38):
it's me Ted. We were in love, we got married,
we had children. I thought you died. I know you.
Your face is because I married your sister. Then why
am your face? Mom? Who is this guy? This is
my god, this is my son who looks like you.
(41:59):
It's my weed. Strawberry lodged my throat, Carol. Last night
I heard you two went on a high Korean never
came back. Okay, they said you died. See is it,
sweetie who's at the dirt. It's your dead sister. She's
(42:22):
come back. Hey, hey, hey, this doesn't change anything between utes, Kelly.
So your sister came back. Yeah, she came and she's
been she's been dead for three years. And after what
I mean, we didn't hear from her for two months,
and that's when we kind of assumed that she was dead.
(42:43):
And that's when me and her husband got together. After
six months, we were married and we're together and I
live in his house and I wear all her clothes,
and I don't understand how all of a sudden she's back, Like,
does she want her ship back? Does she want her
man back? Because to me, it's my as a lawyer,
as a lawyer, and specifically as your lawyer, I have
(43:05):
to tell you she deserves everything back. She's alive. We
have to return the clothing and man into this small
mountain town. I'm sorry. I would like to lie to
you right now and say keep everything that you have
and you've earned his love. But that's that's not the look. Son.
(43:27):
I know you've got that strawberry large in your throat.
I don't sound like this normally, but maybe we can
use this all right, If everyone could just take the seats, please,
(43:49):
we can get back to some sort of semblance of
a city council meeting. Now we were here, we are,
we were discussing name change from our town. Can I
just say that I really did appreciate when we took
them all stretch, So I really appreciate that we don't
do that that often. And yeah, I just like I
(44:11):
like that. I think we should mean that Miami's were tight. Yeah, yeah,
these were the things we were talking about before the stretch.
I like it if we could all just move on.
Want the name of the last seventy eight years is
the small mountain town. And we were discussing possible name changes.
Tommy Island Breeze, the manager at Island Breeze, and that
(44:36):
is already taken. Where's Island Breeze, I don't know. From
the corner of Third and Chestnut. Now people are calling
all the time place with the food and the breeze
for a town name. That's a good town. That's a
great name for a town. All right, I'm to put
(45:00):
Island Breeze singular at the top of our list for
name changes. And uh, wild expressive lady who works at
the restaurant called yea name too. You know, I've got
a name to Olympkins vote on Wildly expressive lady if like,
do I hear? I like her name to be wildly
(45:22):
expressions support. Maybe she has an idea for this for
the town name. Yes, I'm kidching a cold. I want
to say, keep my day day appreciate. He's the one
who's thoughtful. Uh, lady with the wild expressions, Did you
(45:43):
have a town name? Suggested m bim blam. That's that's
my suggestion that just R M R A M B
I M b L. You am no, Aura's none there?
Well actually yes, A M alright and b L I
am b L. Thank you, thank you for making my
(46:12):
point that I'm not such an asshole for suggesting you
have a name other than the one you were born with. Yes, well,
don't have them you'r sick. Those gene shorts do look good.
They look a little too good to be in our restaurant.
How are they too good? I mean, we've never seen
anything quite like this here at the place where we
(46:33):
serve food. And is it the buns or the bulbous
junk area? It's everything, okay, it's everything soup to nuts
from literally from your soup all the way to your nuts.
Is everything? Okay, Okay, Well, I'm gonna spend one more
time see if you change your mind. You just asked
you literally as our opinion. You know, I actually I
(46:57):
don't need to know the origin of the song where
you got the idea to write it. I'm telling you
right now, I want to buy it. Um. I love
that it's about a birthday present that never came, that
it's about jean shorts that make you feel sexy and
how on sexy you feel not having them. I think
it's a perfect country song. So we're gonna I'm willing
to buy the rights to it. Well, that's great, but
(47:18):
I just really wanted to fund a way to offload
this tooth Uh. That's our show for today. Oh my goodness.
I don't know that I've seen Chris cry that much,
Oh my god, or or lost my own ship like
I can break from kind of time. But this one
was human. Dude, you're human, Craig said. I don't usually
(47:42):
that was it. That was it. Thank you and every
damn one of you for making this a spectacular day. Um.
Let's start with Jackie de Ruth. Jackie, thank you, thank you,
thank you, damn it, thank you. This is so nice.
How's how's the puppy? You do it? You know, the
puppy has been sick since like day two, but she's
(48:07):
doing well. Like her you know, her energy is good
and all of that but she had giardia and now
she has a cool I and um, what's going on? Yeah?
Is there a reason you keep giving her these different diseases? Well,
I do keep putting her instead of like a bath,
I just put her in a bucket of ship. So
I think that that's not happening. I think that's yeah.
(48:29):
I think that's ye old bucket of ships. To beat
that versus the crate. It's always a quick decision, but
she loves it, she's comforted by it. So well, good
luck with her. Thank you. And I want to make
it clear no animals or hurt or I'm an animal
lover's going to treat them right. Thank you for having me.
(48:51):
Please speaking of poopless dogs, Chris, Well, you know, first
of all, fuck so much fun today, Gary. It's always
great when you're here, you teach you. Okay, this so
much fun. Thank you for that. But I do want
to go back to the sick dog because when Jackie
first described what she called a pot cake, which we
all had to learn what that was, I think her
definitione was a feral dog from the Caribbean. So I
(49:14):
want to follow it up by saying I have no
surprise that an ounce of surprised at me that this
dog is also a disease written if it comes from
the streets of the careber. I mean that's no, it
just mean a ferreal street dog in general. Okay, whereast
my case plays us into the comedy fix at Cross Varado.
I love you all and thank you for that podcast. Honestly,
(49:34):
it's damn terrific. No, I'm a fan. Marked me down
as a fan place well, I look forward to marking
you all down as guests soon are you know you
can threaten and then you can book me. It's it's
up to you. Gary. Yeah, thank you so damn much,
hey man for a twelve the first twelve years of
my life I lived as a feral dog in the
(49:56):
creer years about a d I don't know how many
of that is, And no, let that be let to
a lot of you young Ferrell dogs out there. Never
give up, never given. I got that e COLI going strong. Uh.
By the way, uh, Gary Anthony Williams, I know what
you're gonna ask. Gary Anthony Williams on Instagram. I know
(50:19):
you were going to ask that. Thank you for that,
and it's just a real American plasure to be with
you guys on these special days. Oh man American who
grew up in the Caribbean. But just when we got
Chris to stop crying, you come at us with all
that love. Craigkowski. I want to thank you you and
(50:40):
your haircut. Uh it's been over a years since I've
had a real big boy haircut, and uh it's it
feels good. Got acupuncture and a haircut for the first
time during the pandemic yesterday. So like, I'm double vexed
um out there living my life in things. Mother, What
(51:08):
could happen that I got phuli vas? And the first
thing I did was I joined an anti vax protest
outside of Trader Joe's and I joined. I just screamed
with them for us, and I felt strangers the right thing.
Oh sorry about that, I said, Well, panicked that my
computer had announced to me it was about to shut
(51:28):
all of this down because to plug it in. Yeah,
it's always great to be under the control of fucking
dead Steve Jobs. Listen. That leads us with Joey Greer,
who's near and dear Joey, is there something valuable that
you'd like to share before we sign off? Yeah, and
I'm glad you h you seguged me like that because uh,
(51:51):
not to talk us the company, of course, which is
actually making motorcycles now. Um, I think they're using hydrogen
cells for their motorcycles, which is amazing. You know, what
does that mean though? Technology wise? Right? I mean, I
mean there's a reason also why Tesla Motors isn't in
like your Grand Prix and and competitive racing because you
(52:12):
can't put those fires out? So like what does that mean? Uh?
But that's the beyond beyond what I want to say,
And my point is this is that. But actually I
just lost it. That one documentary, Drive to Survive. It's
two seasons on Netflix. It's very great. I never thought
i'd be it. But three seasons. Well, I'm on season
to Chris, so you had to talk now, let me talk,
(52:34):
And I I was just trying to be helping. I
think there's if if you you know, it's unless like
our producer and engineer to the Stars, Mr dug Bain
fighting votes that I heart media. Uh, this is kind
(52:57):
of call like your host reminding you our new email
is Alchemy this email at gmail dot com. Thank you
all for joining us. Please be kind to each other.
It's the easiest way to be wear masks and have yes,
thank you, and that's our show Alchemy this it was
(53:27):
so much fun.
Alchemy This News
Host
Kevin Pollak
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