August 19, 2021 • 48 mins
Silence Of The Lambs for kids
Poolside with the coke doctor
“I don’t know, dude…”
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Well, welcome back to another episode about this. I'm your host,
Kevin probably get back Vin Pobla was that, well, I
am the host of this episode. So that the rest
let's meet in the shallow, you know, to kick the order.
Let's first go to Craig Atkowski for his summer activities
review corners account. Um, hm, a little bit of reading.
(00:23):
Try to do about a half hour every day, a
whole half hour, an entire half hours. As I round
up to a half hour, I think like twenty three
minutes is pretty close. Um. Went to five guys a
few times. Best fries in the world. Yeah, good fries,
good fries. Get a get a medium. That's enough for
two people, way enough, it's enough. It's enough for two people. Yeah.
(00:45):
I've tried the cageswie once, big mistake. Oh, you don't
do it, don't do it. I played mini golf once,
did you. Yeah, that were lifetime or in my in
my life. Yeah, it was about twelve years ago. Appreciate
This concludes the Summer Activities Report. Yeah, please say hello,
(01:06):
Chris Anthony Alvarado all spice, please share any memory from
a past summer. Um. My birthday is in August and
um when I was fifteen years old, I begged my
dad to have a beach party. Not only that, I
begged him for a brand new surfboard. When I was
(01:27):
fifteen years old, I was about five two. He my
dad is a good man, worked hard as entire life,
does not have a bunch of disposable income. Yet he
bought tents and multiple six ft subway sandwiches and bought
me a surfboard that I never ever used. And every
and everybody came, and it was it was a real success.
(01:49):
Except that I think about that party a lot, and
I think my dad, he didn't have to do all that.
You know what I mean, you know what, fuck dude,
I want a piece of shit. I am anyway. I mean,
you could say the money now you asked? No, no, no, no, no,
no no oh. That's the sweetest thing ever in the house. Again,
(02:11):
it's Jackie Gonzala's birthday. Daring and hilarious. How's your August
shaping up? My August is shaping up quite nicely. Um,
it's August four and I'm already liking it. This is
a this is a high high birthday birthday month. I
just found out it's Chris Chris's birthday. That's so exciting.
(02:34):
It's my best friend Jackie's birthday on the fourteenth. It's
my sister's birthday on the fifteen. Can I ask for more? Like?
What a fun celebration? Um, Jamie's best friend Jackie's on
the nineteenth. I love that, And I love that her
best friend's name is Jackie. I really love other Jackie's. Yeah, yeah,
(02:54):
that's great. That's so exciting. Yeah, Craig, every every Craig
I know two years older, know any other Craigs. You're
the only Craig I've ever met. Wow, it's like a
(03:17):
highlander thing. They have to kill each other. I don't
get that. I don't know. Uh, I don't bother putting
it on the film Watcher's list. And now, Mr James Heeney,
Julius Joe, what's it gonna take to get you to
ride a horse again? Uh? Well, the last time I
felt pretty foolish because I was surrounded by people that
(03:39):
rode horses regularly, that were family, and I was like,
I was like, I'm doing and I'm doing it, and
they were just kind of walking with the horse next
to me. And afterwards I felt like an idiot. So
I probably will never ride a horse again, unless if
I book a roll, I'll act like an adult and
I'll act like a cowboy. You know what, you can
(04:02):
trust me. If you're booking like cowboy man in a
cowboy movie, I can do that. You're acting out the
oldest audition adage I've ever heard, which is this role
call calls for horseback riding? Do you ride? And the
answer should always be anybody, yes, like a cowboy. More specifically,
(04:24):
I have a saddle in my trunk. Trunk, that's the
answer we were looking for. And last, but too many
Apple pods for you. If you think of least, it's
Joey Greer, Dr Duress. What's that thing that you imagined
was in your closet as a youngster. Oh my gosh.
I was just having this conversation. So I meet with
a group of people. Were like, it's it's not a
(04:46):
book club, per say, well, we did. Everyone brings a book,
but it's every all the every page there's it's blank.
There's nothing in the book which would make you think
like is it a diary or is it a calendar?
It's neither of the two. And uh, it's it's it's
it's actually answered. You should try this. So you have
a book, it's got no pages, it has pages but nothing.
(05:06):
We're on the page and you're like, I want to
write something in there, but you don't want to. What
you're doing is you're putting your memories on the page.
So you look at that page and then you think
about the day today, and then that he is on
the page. Every time you go to that page, you're like,
I remember, you know, January whatever. But so so we're
curious of the Patriot. If you're thinking about being a
(05:29):
Patron supporter, you would get a chance to see the
video of all of us checking our phones at the
and now let's do a damn show all of our
scene suggestions together from your listener emails or from our
patron v I ps to become a patient supporter and
see that exact video as I suggested, Please head on
over to patron dot com slash alchemy. There is you
(05:50):
would like to submit a scene suggested by email. Please
please love to read them, love to reply to them.
Can't wait for James to help me with some of
this And our new email address snooish no longer new Alchemy.
This email gmail Dotcomma's alchemy. This email my mom. My
(06:11):
mom loves his part by the way she lets me
do that. She just she just told me. She's like,
it is a thing we do for ourselves. So it's
nice to hear that anyone is enjoying it, in my opinion,
So thank you Chris's mom. Also her handle cast hangs
love You Seen. One comes from patron v I p Andy,
(06:34):
who wrote scene suggestion exclamation BOYT Hello again. I hope
you will consider this one. I finally saw the movie
Silence of the Lambs, and I got me thinking, what
if Hollywood remade Silence and the Lens, but this time
for kids. Thanks for all the laughs, Thanks for all
you guys do and take care. And so we're gonna
(06:57):
throw it down into this ball pit here and uh yeah,
and I think that it looks it looks nice. I
don't see what the problem is. My everybody's getting so upset.
You you don't see why the children's bullpit. Kids love
being in bullpits. Here's the thing, It's it's less the
kids being upset and more the parents. Because the lotion
(07:20):
that's later thrown into the ballpit is not parabin free
and these parents are really really concerned about what goes
on their children's skin. Oh well, I really okay, I
don't know. I feel like I'm connected to the lotion
that I've thrown in there and kind a sponsor. Oh news,
(07:41):
kids do not like kids do not want to eat
the fava beans. What? Oh that is an issue a
signature line. Uh. They said they'll eat um um jelly
beans and that was it. That's why don't we try
to feed him human flesh? Wait, Thompson, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
(08:04):
Don't listen to him. He's advising, um, but I don't know.
So then maybe we should listen to him. If he's
through a lot of the things he says, I don't
know if you want to hear he's a little edgy.
I thought he was just shadowing today, he's also advising. Honestly,
he's the inspiration. Uh. He's a big funder. I wouldn't
have the money to make this film without him. But
(08:26):
I feel like maybe we should listen to what he
has to say. So you doing here if you're talking
to him? Oh? Good point. Look this is a production meeting. Okay.
Also just say really quick while we're still focused on production.
Hannah h and Billy both got sick off of the keyanti,
So if we could switch it out for grape juice,
(08:47):
we can still call it Kianti. But I don't think
that's grape juice is a good idea for these children either,
a little too sugary. Yeah, let's just go being at
the sun set a sailboat. Sorry, I apologize, um, unless
(09:08):
you guys really want to hear from them. Yeah, I mean,
I've taken my kids to different auditions, but this is
the first role that he's booked, so it's kind of
you know, it's not but you know, we I mean,
he this is a fact my son wants to do.
This child is very talented. Yes he is, Yes he is.
(09:30):
He's very good. Sorry, depth a depth that other children lack. Yeah. Yeah,
he's tall, so as a as your kid, uh here
as well they and then in the movie here. I
do not have a child on the movie. No. Okay, okay,
you do production, will you right? You write you writer,
(09:50):
I'm affiliated with the production producer. Producer. Okay, the guy
I want to be talking. You know my mind. Blood
can do a lot of stuff. You can, you can,
you can run, you can, Um, I'm gonna be honest
with That's all I can do. All right. He's not
the best, you know, but but but with with the
right training, right right, the right push, I think I
think we got a new uh Leonardo DiCaprio. Here, you
(10:13):
had an Italian cold pressed sub for lunch. Yeah, yes
I did. Yeah, you know, with Genoa salami and Capricola genoa.
I don't know if that's how you say it, but yeah,
it was a meat sub. Pop that bad boy in
there and I went to there, what's that little day?
(10:36):
I'll tell you this. Don't ever get a fountain drink, Okay,
always get it in a sealed bottle. I learned that
the hard way. But yeah, so if you, I mean,
if you look at new projects to produce, I mean
I got ideas. I got this one idea with my son.
Is this skin your own? Yeah? Well you'll pinch right there,
Yeah it is. They pinch So you want it's supple
to the touch? Yeah? Okay, Hannah Age, Hannah Age, can
(11:02):
I see you for one second? Okay, Hannah, so um,
we want to just kind of fill you in. So
the next thing we're gonna do is a scary scene.
How do you feel about that? Yes, ready, okay, ready, great,
can you we're changing some of the lines. Okay, okay, okay. Um.
(11:27):
So for instance, this one here, it's not gonna say, um,
I have to go peepies. I have to go pee
That's how I was gonna do. I have to go
peepies and then you have to pepees. I have to
go poopies. Good, Hannah, keep going, I had to go pop.
How old is Hanna age? Well, she's she's eighteen to
(11:49):
play younger, so we can came for the long eighteen.
She was drunk on canty earlier. You got drunk? What
do you think she's cute or something like? What you what? No,
we're talking about you have the medical tent. It's gonna
hammard on Kane. It's like a bad canty or whatever.
I feel like she and I are kind of hitting up.
If you want to take called DIBs, called dips, called
what were you talking about? Dude? Yeah? So you know Sean,
(12:15):
what's up? Dude? Are you? Oh? Here we go? You're
disappointed to me again? Yes, it's fucking disturbing. Man sick.
She's eighteen to play younger. Okay, he says, holy God,
what the hell? Man, Sean, you gotta get out of here.
You gotta get out of here. I'm a script supervisor,
(12:36):
not anymore. What do you mean now, you're you're steering
wheel supervisor. Get out of here. I'm on transpo. No,
you're gonna be driving out of the lot all right
to where. I just feel this innocent remake of Silence
of the Lambs has turned way dirtier than I expected.
What did you expect? I don't know, fun Silence So
(13:00):
the Lambs. Sorry, we're not we're not pronouncing. We're not
pronouncing to be in it. Oh good? So the original
one oscars for Best Picture, Best Scream, Best Director, Best Actor,
Best Actress. That's why I wanted to remake it with
this right, so it has to be somewhat similar to
(13:23):
the original. Otherwise you're gonna lose all those kids parents
who we also need to bring them. I guess it's
just not the vision I had right specking up the
kids parents of Billy's dad has just been um coming
up to me and reading sides. I think he thinks
that he's auditioning. He doesn't listen to me. Can one
(13:47):
of you guys talk to It's like he's just Keith.
You want to get on that and you talk to me,
you might respond better to you. Keith. Yeah, I mean
I thought I was a puffic, so I'm not. No, no, no, no,
no no, that's not what I'm saying. Okay, well, I'll
deal with Billy. Thank you. I'll tell you what. This
is kind of one of my problems, the backer of
(14:10):
the financial side of this that has really brought me here.
He's kind of creeping me out. And he's got a
friend's name anyway, he's got him and his friend are
on set, and I think, what's his friend's name. It's
odd and awkward and coincidental, but his friend's name is Hannibal. Um, Hannibals,
(14:32):
that's his friend. I'll keep an eye out. I'll keep
an eye out for him. Is he looking for like
the next Bill Cosby kind of thing? M hmm. I
think you'd be best to just meet Hannibal yourself. I'll
find Billy. And then my dad said, if I ever
have found drinks, I should spit it out. Do you
know what he's going to be back against, sir? Um, No,
(14:53):
I'm not. I'm talking to the child. I'm talking to
the child. I've been told to speak with Billy kind of.
It was a production meeting with some people, and I
was gonna try to work with Billy and well and
(15:13):
maybe you could talk to them, because I think maybe
they've got some things to talk to you about. I'll
stand across the room and listen from there. My hearing
is very sharp, of course it is. Okay, So Billy, um,
how how how do you feel here in Hollywood? Okay?
(15:34):
You freaked me out. I freaked you out. You're that guy.
That guy creeps me out. You're creeping the kid out.
I'm the problem here. This whole sets filled with creepers,
and I'm the guy, Reggie. I don't want to have
to do this, but I have to fire you. You
(15:56):
completely crept out, Billy. I don't know why you even
were talking to him. I told you his dad was
the problem. You're not supposed to talk to the children.
I was really certain people who can talk to the children,
and then everyone else can. That's inappropriate, talk to the children.
(16:17):
You're gonna talk to the children. He's allowed. Oh second,
I don't know this is but I really to talk
to the children. I know you're doing. I'm excited for me.
But again, hey man, you got fired too. Yeah, this
(16:41):
is ridiculous. You don't have to leave. I'm not gonna
leave really. Yeah. M dude, you're like, are they still
gonna pay us pay? Who cares about pay? Man? We're
making art here. You're a visionary yeah yeah, and you
have a for how this film should be. Mr Hannible.
(17:02):
I got all the kids out and I locked down
the entire set. What do we do now? Good? Good,
Billy good, Now, I'm going to fry pieces of your
brain and a skillet. Yep, it really was. It's not
four kids, it's with kids. That's what they got yet
(17:32):
scene too, So I'm listener. Danny Tanner, who wrote he
thought I dropped a line to your Newish email addressed
hopefully this is the scene I suggest that it's finally
really funny. Oh Danny, we love you. We've read your
scenes before. I'm not sure why all the two here now.
Danny's scene suggested pool side with the Coke Doctor from
(17:58):
Danny in Cess Sascat your one sat on Jesus Saskatchewan.
It's been too long since I've read that word Saskatchet. Juan. Yeah,
nice Martini, thank you thank you for Would you like
anything else? Can you put this solution on my back?
(18:21):
Of course? Baby baby likes it on the back. So yeah, Hey,
did they have any snacks or something for someone? Yes?
Would you like me to put an organ for some snacks?
I would thank you? It was cool. Would I mean
to warm up the motion before I put it on?
(18:46):
Thank you? Yes, snacks? Do you have a menua something
slipping out of my hands? Menus? Just grabbb grabbit thank you.
Let's see. I would like the side of nuts it was,
(19:08):
and maybe coke. We're taking some coke coke? Alright, I
have most of the lotion on my arms and shoulders,
so let me just on your back now the whole
way that's on me heavy, just well, his full body
(19:31):
writhing on me, full boy, Just go okay, don't look,
but kind of look, but don't let them see that
you're looking. Do you know who that is over there?
That know what that guy over there? Don't? I'm sorry,
I'm sorry. Christ You know you know the word we
(19:54):
use for this vacation was say it with me relaxed. Yeah, yeah,
I don't. I can't relax when you're blowing our cover,
when you're pointing everywhere when you're being a freaking goofball,
just tell me who he is. Ted. He's a doctor, okay,
a very famous doctor, like so famous you can you
(20:17):
know who he is on site? Exactly? Yes? Yes, okay,
now I'm gonna I don't know any famous doctors doctor Oz,
Dr phil Rich Kimball. Okay, so you do the famous
Dr Drew sus Pepper. Okay, you know is this working?
(20:40):
Is this weekend working for us? Relaxation? Relaxation? Hey? Are
you all using this towel? Yes, we're laying on it. Yes,
we're just getting it. If you're not using it, and
stop that. It's my towel, come home. Not a lot
of other towels, and you gotta have a key car
(21:00):
to get one. How did this guy get into this resort?
How are you? What room are you in? Sir? That's
a ship Okay, okay, let me take care of this,
thank you. I'm not the problem man's towel. It's not
his towel. I would try to bite my neck. I
(21:23):
did not. I did not try to. You'd know if
I was biting your neck, you would know. You would
know it feels good. She's a vampire. Night vampire, so
she can't be outside to night. I am not a
vampire part of me something? Okay? Is that who I
think it is? Are you doing with the coach? Doctor? Yeah,
of course that's who it is. But you know what
(21:44):
the doctor from TV? Yes, you know what I've said
too much? Get up and let this man have his towel.
I need to keep my pretzels. War what what I
need the towel to keep my pretzels? Okay? One, we
all pull our room keys. Why don't we all pull
our room keys? What do you say? Sure? Sure? Did
(22:05):
you just slip into an accent? Are you kidding? Maybe?
What is happening over there? Maybe everybody making a big
deal that you're here. I don't understand why. I don't
understand either. We give you big glasses, we give you
a fake nose, fake mustache and head. It's not usually bad.
(22:28):
You think that this disguise would work. Excuse me, I'm
so sorry to bother you while you're on vacation. Yes,
of course, um, but I know you're a doctor, and
my vacation is being ruined because my little girl's gotten sick,
and I was wondering maybe you could prescribe something for her. Yes,
(22:48):
of course, of course we can. Yes, but I would
need to examine. Maybe we don't vacation. I don't want
to be doctor this weekend. I want you to be hot,
sexy lover. But as I don't know what the hell happened.
But our daughter has pitched me sixteen different movie ideas
in the past eight minutes. All right, so I don't
(23:10):
know what that doctor did. She's feeling better. She's feeling better.
I guess, I guess, But were okay? Okay, sounds a
little answer kids. It sounds like anwer kids idea. No,
we're not gonna do that. Do it greenlight? No, we're
not hand up, we're not green lighting that. Put me
(23:31):
in it. No we're not not We're not gonna put
you in it. Okay. Starring Hannah m I thought you
wanted to be a volleyball player, gap, Yes, also a
volleyball player. Also a remake of Rocky, But he's a
volleyball player. Tag, you're it. I think his shoulder dislocated.
(23:57):
I think his shoulder dislocated. Hey, you wear my shoes.
Shoes man, kid? You want me to reset that shoulder.
I'm not as young as they look. I'm I'm actually eighteen.
I'm in college. Double What the hell is this? I
(24:20):
am pre med. Yeah, that's my chosen field. Yeah that
I'm going to be um. Yeah, but you look so young?
Yeah I know, yeah, I look really really young. The
voicesn't help, but I think I can reset your shoulder. Okay,
so on account of three, take a deep breath. One
(24:42):
to three other shoulders shoulders shoulder, God damn sucks double
nodded as well, how do you get these on? Just
(25:03):
get this go my mom? Com I don't know. Hey,
I ain't calling your mom. Man, let me just keep
this kill your mom? And I just said, are you
gonna go down that? I got money? I got money,
I got cash, I got cash, you got you got cash? Yeah?
(25:27):
Eyes on me, baby. I know that that small child
seems to be in wild distressed, lots of pain, but
please no, it's on me. That's so he is responsible
to just sit in unless this chance to film. It
is irresponsible to waste your vacation on back to work.
That's your responsible. You know what this delling Let the
child die. I don't think it's going I don't want
(25:50):
it to die. It's not like he's bleeding. Excuse me, folks,
I know that you're on vacation. I'm on vacation too.
I just wanted to say that I'm a big fan.
I love your show and you're you're the Coke Doctor
and you're Angel Leak. Yes, we have found out friends,
(26:11):
disguises did not work, but we always like to hear
from a fan. Can you tell you if that child
over there is I think he has two dislocated shoulders
from Yeah, he's just real floppy right now, real floppy.
Serious discount, I imagine, But maybe I could help do
(26:34):
I just I don't even know why we do all
these disguises. If all you want to do is go
help people. I shaved my head to put my hair
onto your head and nineties seconds, that's all I ask.
Excuse me, child, Yeah, put just a little dennispoon on
the Annasta. Lenry does. This is incredible. He just he
(26:57):
doesn't just do it for TV. There's no cameras around,
and he really does give cocaine as a solution to
every medical problem. Oh my god, I feel great. Look
I have his chealities and now I go back to
my town. Oh flippy, floppy, flippy floppy pain free. He's done. Okay,
(27:18):
here are your nuts and uh, you just touched his nuts?
Yes I did. Here you're nuts and you touched his nuts?
Yes I did, Yes I did. Let me just cook
at your seen to. It's gotta be seen to. What
a fucking we are. I'm so happy seen three yes
(27:48):
from patron Happy Haydn, who wrote hello again, I have
an unconventional scene suggestion format. If Lord Pollock permits, Well,
it's been that kind of day. Try a scene that
starts with the statement, I don't know, dude, I just
can't look at you the same since I walked in
on you blank xo XO, so I was talking to
(28:19):
my man. We gotta stop real quick. So yeah, you
have to start start seeing with the line kel of course,
say we're taking that back. I don't know, dude, I
just can't look the same sense here we go. Have
you noticed that, like a lot of these things, either
(28:41):
do the either start with the line? Is there a
problem with the script? Is that the what's what's going on? Well? No,
I just I didn't have the first page. I'm sorry,
it's I'm supposed to be here then, mm hmmm, mm
hmm okay, m yeah, I was number seven on the
call sheet. I would like to speak on behalf of
(29:01):
the entire cast of saying how could you treat you
have the first page? So may I ask you? Is
every day going to be this unperfected? I, for one,
if memorized my lines? Does anyone have the first page?
(29:25):
Sliding in? First page? Uh? Oh my god, Oh my god,
my god. Okay, okay, poked my eye out? Why did
you do that? Can't some cocaine? Oh my god, I
mean cocaine? What the hell is this man? A doctor?
I mean the doctor? Oh my eye? I mean you're
(29:45):
not actually in this scene anyway? So so are we
are we beginning with I don't know, dude, or are
we not? Well, we aren't. This is his line, So
but we we should be's turning with that? Uh? I
mean the production I'm waiting for my queue and then
(30:07):
I'll play the scene. I'm gonna say I'm not going
to say that action, I'll say the line, okay, thank you, yes,
already infected. I don't think I'm gonna be able to
work with him crying in the back. Either get him
some cocaine or get him out of here. I'm ready
to play the scene. We'll just go with it. Speak
(30:30):
the speech, I pray you. Can you say the magic word? Director? Sorry? Action?
Actually the funk? Are you? Yeah? Even your name? I
have my badge here? Uh yeah, even if it's on
(30:52):
this set. I mean, it can't be any less secure
than that guy. Look at his eyes hanging out of
his head. See the medic dude, Monica, I haven't seen.
I know you're directing a film here this afternoon. But
we have a couple of questions from the studio. Studio
I love questions. Great. Um, so how do you feel
(31:15):
how do you feel productions going? Um? It's a little
messy right now, but I think we're on the up
and up and we are looking good. Schedule wise, it
looks like we might go maybe two days over the
projected uh shoot time, but everyone seems on board. Yeah, okay.
Second question, who do you think would be a better
(31:35):
director for this project? Hypothetically? I mean, I can tell
you who my favorite directors are. Yeah, let's start with
that J. J Abrams Nolan. But I don't think that
they would do this better. Um, necessarily, they just happen
(31:58):
to be my favorite. Mr. We have J. J Abrahms
on the phone. Thank you so much. I'll take you now.
Jj H. What's happening? What can do for Anyboddy? What's
going on? It's Mr Sherbert Gredge talked to you again,
Mr s. What's happening? Uh? Listen? Um hypothetically, would you
(32:21):
be able to all by lay? Monica's here? Monica? Yeah,
she's here. He can hear you. You're on speaker. Great,
Hi jj hello Monica. Yeah. Um so, Monica has selected
you in the hypothetical world to take over directing um
her film. I actually I said that you're my favorite director.
(32:47):
But I do want to keep the gig. I do
want to keep keep the gig. M H. Yeah, I
need the money. Called the hypothetical Yes, thank you, j J.
I assume that's why you called anything else? Would you yeah,
so hypothetically would you just yes or no? Would you
be able to make it to Fullerton by this afternoon? Yes? Yes,
(33:08):
I could since hypothetical absolutely? What do you mean nice?
Better change of leadership? Monica? Would you like to tell Yeah?
I mean I don't know what to tell you. I'm
confused myself. But J. J. Abrams is going to come
in and direct this. Someone gets some medical attention for
this man. He's been writhing in pain for two hours.
(33:32):
There is a medic tent his his legs are fine,
he can walk himself. There. I'm no longer the director,
but I am actually taking over one of the lead
acting roles. She is now in the movie. Yeah, well,
I hope at least you know the line. Oh, I'm
really good at ad lipping. Um, So we're gonna start
(33:53):
with the first line, Monica. Um, it's I don't know, dude.
Um what was the rest of it? I can't look
at you the same ever since? Blank? Okay, sorry if
have I been Recast's just this one line is being realocated, Realcate,
I don't my line has been realocated. No, Monica, you
(34:16):
want to give us that first line? God, it looks
like now he can't walk to the medics tent his ankle.
Just you're an actor, You're sorry. It's hard for me
to go. Yes, UM, give me there. Ready to play
the scene. Yes, Um, I don't. Um, okay, someone Tommy
action right, Yeah, this is just a rehearsal. I'll say it. Okay,
(34:40):
it's just a rehearsal. I didn't mean to say just so. Yeah,
I mean this is it's a parking lot, but we're
in charge of it. Okay, so let's do a good
job making sure that this parking lot is locked what
my time doesn't need to be locked down? Right now?
Do we leave? Oh? And even then, yeah, I gotta
(35:03):
actually have you guys opened the gate up because I've
been fired and um um so told me that I
have to leave. I've been instructed to lockdown the gate.
So it's kind of embarrassing. I got this box with
all my things and I kind of just need to
get to my car and go, Jim, what do Uh
(35:24):
here's a second, I don't I don't know. I don't know.
I mean I can punch him, punch him? Yeah right, yeah, yeah,
have you good an idea? Hey, hey, box dude, to
talk to you for a second. Hey, listen, still needing
(35:44):
it out? You do? Can you tell me at which
sound stage? Dude? Where's my blanket shooting? You're on it?
I'm on it, very good, very good. I you don't know.
That was the nicest suit I've ever seen in my life.
(36:04):
I look like I cast some serious bang. Hey, welcome
to the student porium where we suit you up. Okay,
I get for you, but blower your volume please. Okay,
I'm going to I'm going to purchase a suit. You
don't need to give me the hard cell. Okay, let
you know this. Actually, no, we here's three suits for bones.
(36:29):
I require merely one suit. Okay, it's gonna be ninety
nine bones. It is regardless. Here are your bones, Here
are your bones. God, he's eating my neck corner. All right. Sorry,
(36:49):
I know you heard that our last sales guy got
eating on the floor, but I want you to know
that we put in some CCTV cameras so that that
shouldn't happen. I get and did you say eating? Did
you say I'm sorry? Did you say eating? I said
what I said. So it looks like you were in
(37:09):
production before, is that right? Yeah? Yeah, I was in production. Okay, great,
that's cool. So it's pretty much the same thing you
sold I did. I did Monica. Wow, get to see you,
get to see you. I'm over on sound stage twelve.
(37:31):
I like to do. I like to do a mid
midday walk among the stages stages. I'm acting now, so
oh shit, shit, that's great. I'm still I want to
tell you I wanted to tell you I was. I was.
(37:52):
I was too drunk on that date. I was too
drunk on that day. I was hoping that we could
just not you know, I know, I could just pass
each other and for me to move move forward and on.
I would love, I would love to make some amends
here or do whatever I can to just help the situation. Okay,
(38:13):
I I do owe you an apology, Robert. I do
oh to be honest, Um, I knew you were that drunk.
I could see that you were that drunk. I was
stone cold sober. Uh And I did choose to uh
are we doing the Robert stuff now? Because I'm sorry
(38:35):
to jump in, Monica, But I mean, you did affect
all of us, and you hugged the karaoke machine for
too long. And you can say that you were too drunk,
you can say that you were Unclecaine rob but we
all went to that bar to do karaoke and we
couldn't do it. Yeah, And I don't know, I don't
think I'm out any amount ever gonna Honestly, I knew
he was that drunk because we had been to a
(38:57):
bar before that, and I still said, come to the
private karaoke room and so I feel like I have
a bit of a responsibility for sure, you do. And
we saw you write his name down when you were
supposed to be writing your name down. Are we going
to shoot fucking anything today? Hey, we're just talking about
last Thursday night. You were there. Look, I don't care
(39:20):
what you're talking about, Sherbett. I played John Luke Pickard. No,
of course, Oh my god, that's where I know you're from. Yah,
send many other things. Shit, No, just now I've been dude,
where's my blank? Okay? What do you want me to say? Mr?
What do you mean to say? Say my queue line?
(39:42):
So I can act? I can't act? Wow to trod
the boards? Can we get this on camera? This is great?
This is what I'm talking about. This is it? Where's
where's the where is J J J? Where is so?
(40:03):
The thing is? He took me at my word? He
it was all hypothetical to him. What are you talking about? Shure?
I set up by hypothetical, and what's hypothetical? I don't
know how to define it, to be honest, I just
(40:24):
came back. I just came back from craft services and
there's a child eating pieces of his own brain there.
So get get this set under control. Okay, Monica, I'm
coming to you right now as a friend, as a boss,
as somebody who maybe blew a date. Uh. Yeah, I'm
just looking for one suit, just one Yeah okay, Um, sorry,
(40:52):
I'm pretty new you're you're looking for a kids suit? Yeah? Okay, okay,
let's see here. Do you do you know your suit size? Yeah? Okay?
All right? So, uh are you just gonna hover around
me the whole time? Or can I just this is awkward?
(41:12):
I don't even know. Honestly, I've never I've never fitted anybody,
but all these suits on the wall or adult suits. Um,
so why don't we cut the pant leg? Okay, okay,
now you're talking, Billy. I like your suit. Thanks, thanks
for Hannibal. It matches mine. I brought a friend. Who's
(41:40):
your friend? Someone we could have for dinner. I've never been. Uh.
I used to actually work in movies. Um. Actually I
used to work on this set. Uh, and I'd love
to have dinner. Good work, Billy, good work. Yes, we'll
have you for dinner. Thank you. Um, We're gonna have
(42:03):
dinner right now. Have a seat. Okay, I'm sure we
have to get this done quick. Yes, let's get it
done quick. Billy, my neck is not supposed to it
his neck like a corn cob an ca. Okay, so um, Leonard,
(42:29):
you are going to get that line back. So if
you could kick us off with that initial line. Once
Billy shows up to set, which I here on the
p A S they are going to go get him, uh,
then we're good to go. Imady, we do need this
guy wheeled off to the medic tent. Good God, I
thank you. Ready when you are, He thrust his fists
(42:52):
second to the posts and still insists he sees a ghost,
just doing a vocal warm up the ghost. I'm ready.
There's no ghost. It's I know that you're ready, Leonard.
We're just we're waiting on Billy. Once Billy is on set,
we can get started. Billy, all right, here's Billy. Okay,
(43:12):
great Billy, and then once we can sit. Um, we're
not doing that scene until later, the car crash scene
until later. And that's actually a different outfit than we
approved from costume for that scene. Billy, do you have
your costume for this scene? This is the diner scene.
(43:35):
I only want to wear this, Okay. Mr Sherbet coming in.
Mr Sherbert flying in. Okay, listen, we're running out of time, Monica.
We need to run this scene as we need to
hear this first line as written. Okay, okay, batum, this
is what we get paid for. By the way, they're
(43:57):
waiting around the acting. I do for free. Thank you,
thank you. I'm ready to go. IoT my mark? Great awesome.
Leonard Patrick, thank you, Billy. Are you on your mark?
I can tell you're not to get on your mark? Okay,
thank you? Oh sorry, you can't okay, Leonard can't say
(44:19):
Leonard can't say that it's a union thing. Okay, Sorry,
I just love being on a set. Okay, I'm out,
okay with you. I don't know, dude, I just can't
look at you the same since I walked in on you.
Oh we're still the camera's not everybody production is right
(44:44):
the show today as well. Oh wow, that was a
journey for me personally, and I thank you all for
your patience contributions to my education. Let's thank all of
our alchemists, shall we, in this order? Christopher Ronald, thank
you so much. When can we expect to see you
(45:05):
back in the surf? Jeez? I don't Hopefully soon but
that keeps this raw sewage keeps pouring by the millions
and millions of gallons into the Santa Monica Bay Venice area,
which is where I serve. So I don't know how
far up the coast could you go. That's a good
question because I've been wanting to trout Malibu. But you know, well,
(45:27):
please report back. I will, oh, I will. Thank you
so much. Comedy Fix is the podcast. Check it out, folks.
Jingle James Heeney, thank you so much for being here,
thanks for having me. And I just wanna read you
know what it actually that's sewage like it stinks in
Venice at night because the smell comes all the way
(45:48):
to my does it becomes like a like a fist,
it does. It comes in waves, but it doesn't start
coming into like eight o'clock at night, and they just
starts stinking like sewage. It's awful alchemy this pod and
read it, and I'd love to have a chat with
everybody there about sewage smells. Please please please, Um Jackie,
(46:12):
thank you, thank you, and think and think thank the
stars that I live on the East Side and and
and I'm luckily not smelling sewage every night. Fair it's
a nice blessing for everyone who's on the west side. Yeah,
thank you, appreciate you. Craig cow count me in as
(46:34):
anti sewage as well. Okay, all right, not into it
any Uh any visitors there? Your my niece Penny visited
a couple of weeks ago. Oh nice, Um, my my
aunt Ebba and is here? Is here? Is there? Not
(46:58):
the house, but elsewhere in town. There's a family that's
been coming in and out. It's been nice. That's very nice. Yeah,
all right, well continue on and uh just know that
we're all very envious of your situation. I'll be heading
back to l A in two weeks though, so back
to reality. Uh. I think she might stay none of
(47:21):
our damn business. I'm glad to ask Joe Great. If
you want to find me, you go to gamefront dot com.
We saw or heard from Craig. Uh and Jackie now
(47:43):
is back to not knowing any Craig's I think that's everyone. Uh.
Thank you, Doug Bam, Thank you are Heart Radio. Thank
you listeners and patron supporters. Uh as your host back
in the saddle, I've missed you and love you, and
I hope you continue to thrive in your lives and
(48:07):
thank you for your involvement in our our our efforts.
Continue to write to us at I'll give you this
email gmail dot com. Until next time, O
Well, welcome back to another episode about this. I'm your host,
Kevin probably get back Vin Pobla was that, well, I
am the host of this episode. So that the rest
let's meet in the shallow, you know, to kick the order.
Let's first go to Craig Atkowski for his summer activities
review corners account. Um, hm, a little bit of reading.
(00:23):
Try to do about a half hour every day, a
whole half hour, an entire half hours. As I round
up to a half hour, I think like twenty three
minutes is pretty close. Um. Went to five guys a
few times. Best fries in the world. Yeah, good fries,
good fries. Get a get a medium. That's enough for
two people, way enough, it's enough. It's enough for two people. Yeah.
(00:45):
I've tried the cageswie once, big mistake. Oh, you don't
do it, don't do it. I played mini golf once,
did you. Yeah, that were lifetime or in my in
my life. Yeah, it was about twelve years ago. Appreciate
This concludes the Summer Activities Report. Yeah, please say hello,
(01:06):
Chris Anthony Alvarado all spice, please share any memory from
a past summer. Um. My birthday is in August and
um when I was fifteen years old, I begged my
dad to have a beach party. Not only that, I
begged him for a brand new surfboard. When I was
(01:27):
fifteen years old, I was about five two. He my
dad is a good man, worked hard as entire life,
does not have a bunch of disposable income. Yet he
bought tents and multiple six ft subway sandwiches and bought
me a surfboard that I never ever used. And every
and everybody came, and it was it was a real success.
(01:49):
Except that I think about that party a lot, and
I think my dad, he didn't have to do all that.
You know what I mean, you know what, fuck dude,
I want a piece of shit. I am anyway. I mean,
you could say the money now you asked? No, no, no, no, no,
no no oh. That's the sweetest thing ever in the house. Again,
(02:11):
it's Jackie Gonzala's birthday. Daring and hilarious. How's your August
shaping up? My August is shaping up quite nicely. Um,
it's August four and I'm already liking it. This is
a this is a high high birthday birthday month. I
just found out it's Chris Chris's birthday. That's so exciting.
(02:34):
It's my best friend Jackie's birthday on the fourteenth. It's
my sister's birthday on the fifteen. Can I ask for more? Like?
What a fun celebration? Um, Jamie's best friend Jackie's on
the nineteenth. I love that, And I love that her
best friend's name is Jackie. I really love other Jackie's. Yeah, yeah,
(02:54):
that's great. That's so exciting. Yeah, Craig, every every Craig
I know two years older, know any other Craigs. You're
the only Craig I've ever met. Wow, it's like a
(03:17):
highlander thing. They have to kill each other. I don't
get that. I don't know. Uh, I don't bother putting
it on the film Watcher's list. And now, Mr James Heeney,
Julius Joe, what's it gonna take to get you to
ride a horse again? Uh? Well, the last time I
felt pretty foolish because I was surrounded by people that
(03:39):
rode horses regularly, that were family, and I was like,
I was like, I'm doing and I'm doing it, and
they were just kind of walking with the horse next
to me. And afterwards I felt like an idiot. So
I probably will never ride a horse again, unless if
I book a roll, I'll act like an adult and
I'll act like a cowboy. You know what, you can
(04:02):
trust me. If you're booking like cowboy man in a
cowboy movie, I can do that. You're acting out the
oldest audition adage I've ever heard, which is this role
call calls for horseback riding? Do you ride? And the
answer should always be anybody, yes, like a cowboy. More specifically,
(04:24):
I have a saddle in my trunk. Trunk, that's the
answer we were looking for. And last, but too many
Apple pods for you. If you think of least, it's
Joey Greer, Dr Duress. What's that thing that you imagined
was in your closet as a youngster. Oh my gosh.
I was just having this conversation. So I meet with
a group of people. Were like, it's it's not a
(04:46):
book club, per say, well, we did. Everyone brings a book,
but it's every all the every page there's it's blank.
There's nothing in the book which would make you think
like is it a diary or is it a calendar?
It's neither of the two. And uh, it's it's it's
it's actually answered. You should try this. So you have
a book, it's got no pages, it has pages but nothing.
(05:06):
We're on the page and you're like, I want to
write something in there, but you don't want to. What
you're doing is you're putting your memories on the page.
So you look at that page and then you think
about the day today, and then that he is on
the page. Every time you go to that page, you're like,
I remember, you know, January whatever. But so so we're
curious of the Patriot. If you're thinking about being a
(05:29):
Patron supporter, you would get a chance to see the
video of all of us checking our phones at the
and now let's do a damn show all of our
scene suggestions together from your listener emails or from our
patron v I ps to become a patient supporter and
see that exact video as I suggested, Please head on
over to patron dot com slash alchemy. There is you
(05:50):
would like to submit a scene suggested by email. Please
please love to read them, love to reply to them.
Can't wait for James to help me with some of
this And our new email address snooish no longer new Alchemy.
This email gmail Dotcomma's alchemy. This email my mom. My
(06:11):
mom loves his part by the way she lets me
do that. She just she just told me. She's like,
it is a thing we do for ourselves. So it's
nice to hear that anyone is enjoying it, in my opinion,
So thank you Chris's mom. Also her handle cast hangs
love You Seen. One comes from patron v I p Andy,
(06:34):
who wrote scene suggestion exclamation BOYT Hello again. I hope
you will consider this one. I finally saw the movie
Silence of the Lambs, and I got me thinking, what
if Hollywood remade Silence and the Lens, but this time
for kids. Thanks for all the laughs, Thanks for all
you guys do and take care. And so we're gonna
(06:57):
throw it down into this ball pit here and uh yeah,
and I think that it looks it looks nice. I
don't see what the problem is. My everybody's getting so upset.
You you don't see why the children's bullpit. Kids love
being in bullpits. Here's the thing, It's it's less the
kids being upset and more the parents. Because the lotion
(07:20):
that's later thrown into the ballpit is not parabin free
and these parents are really really concerned about what goes
on their children's skin. Oh well, I really okay, I
don't know. I feel like I'm connected to the lotion
that I've thrown in there and kind a sponsor. Oh news,
(07:41):
kids do not like kids do not want to eat
the fava beans. What? Oh that is an issue a
signature line. Uh. They said they'll eat um um jelly
beans and that was it. That's why don't we try
to feed him human flesh? Wait, Thompson, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
(08:04):
Don't listen to him. He's advising, um, but I don't know.
So then maybe we should listen to him. If he's
through a lot of the things he says, I don't
know if you want to hear he's a little edgy.
I thought he was just shadowing today, he's also advising. Honestly,
he's the inspiration. Uh. He's a big funder. I wouldn't
have the money to make this film without him. But
(08:26):
I feel like maybe we should listen to what he
has to say. So you doing here if you're talking
to him? Oh? Good point. Look this is a production meeting. Okay.
Also just say really quick while we're still focused on production.
Hannah h and Billy both got sick off of the keyanti,
So if we could switch it out for grape juice,
(08:47):
we can still call it Kianti. But I don't think
that's grape juice is a good idea for these children either,
a little too sugary. Yeah, let's just go being at
the sun set a sailboat. Sorry, I apologize, um, unless
(09:08):
you guys really want to hear from them. Yeah, I mean,
I've taken my kids to different auditions, but this is
the first role that he's booked, so it's kind of
you know, it's not but you know, we I mean,
he this is a fact my son wants to do.
This child is very talented. Yes he is, Yes he is.
(09:30):
He's very good. Sorry, depth a depth that other children lack. Yeah. Yeah,
he's tall, so as a as your kid, uh here
as well they and then in the movie here. I
do not have a child on the movie. No. Okay, okay,
you do production, will you right? You write you writer,
(09:50):
I'm affiliated with the production producer. Producer. Okay, the guy
I want to be talking. You know my mind. Blood
can do a lot of stuff. You can, you can,
you can run, you can, Um, I'm gonna be honest
with That's all I can do. All right. He's not
the best, you know, but but but with with the
right training, right right, the right push, I think I
think we got a new uh Leonardo DiCaprio. Here, you
(10:13):
had an Italian cold pressed sub for lunch. Yeah, yes
I did. Yeah, you know, with Genoa salami and Capricola genoa.
I don't know if that's how you say it, but yeah,
it was a meat sub. Pop that bad boy in
there and I went to there, what's that little day?
(10:36):
I'll tell you this. Don't ever get a fountain drink, Okay,
always get it in a sealed bottle. I learned that
the hard way. But yeah, so if you, I mean,
if you look at new projects to produce, I mean
I got ideas. I got this one idea with my son.
Is this skin your own? Yeah? Well you'll pinch right there,
Yeah it is. They pinch So you want it's supple
to the touch? Yeah? Okay, Hannah Age, Hannah Age, can
(11:02):
I see you for one second? Okay, Hannah, so um,
we want to just kind of fill you in. So
the next thing we're gonna do is a scary scene.
How do you feel about that? Yes, ready, okay, ready, great,
can you we're changing some of the lines. Okay, okay, okay. Um.
(11:27):
So for instance, this one here, it's not gonna say, um,
I have to go peepies. I have to go pee
That's how I was gonna do. I have to go
peepies and then you have to pepees. I have to
go poopies. Good, Hannah, keep going, I had to go pop.
How old is Hanna age? Well, she's she's eighteen to
(11:49):
play younger, so we can came for the long eighteen.
She was drunk on canty earlier. You got drunk? What
do you think she's cute or something like? What you what? No,
we're talking about you have the medical tent. It's gonna
hammard on Kane. It's like a bad canty or whatever.
I feel like she and I are kind of hitting up.
If you want to take called DIBs, called dips, called
what were you talking about? Dude? Yeah? So you know Sean,
(12:15):
what's up? Dude? Are you? Oh? Here we go? You're
disappointed to me again? Yes, it's fucking disturbing. Man sick.
She's eighteen to play younger. Okay, he says, holy God,
what the hell? Man, Sean, you gotta get out of here.
You gotta get out of here. I'm a script supervisor,
(12:36):
not anymore. What do you mean now, you're you're steering
wheel supervisor. Get out of here. I'm on transpo. No,
you're gonna be driving out of the lot all right
to where. I just feel this innocent remake of Silence
of the Lambs has turned way dirtier than I expected.
What did you expect? I don't know, fun Silence So
(13:00):
the Lambs. Sorry, we're not we're not pronouncing. We're not
pronouncing to be in it. Oh good? So the original
one oscars for Best Picture, Best Scream, Best Director, Best Actor,
Best Actress. That's why I wanted to remake it with
this right, so it has to be somewhat similar to
(13:23):
the original. Otherwise you're gonna lose all those kids parents
who we also need to bring them. I guess it's
just not the vision I had right specking up the
kids parents of Billy's dad has just been um coming
up to me and reading sides. I think he thinks
that he's auditioning. He doesn't listen to me. Can one
(13:47):
of you guys talk to It's like he's just Keith.
You want to get on that and you talk to me,
you might respond better to you. Keith. Yeah, I mean
I thought I was a puffic, so I'm not. No, no, no, no,
no no, that's not what I'm saying. Okay, well, I'll
deal with Billy. Thank you. I'll tell you what. This
is kind of one of my problems, the backer of
(14:10):
the financial side of this that has really brought me here.
He's kind of creeping me out. And he's got a
friend's name anyway, he's got him and his friend are
on set, and I think, what's his friend's name. It's
odd and awkward and coincidental, but his friend's name is Hannibal. Um, Hannibals,
(14:32):
that's his friend. I'll keep an eye out. I'll keep
an eye out for him. Is he looking for like
the next Bill Cosby kind of thing? M hmm. I
think you'd be best to just meet Hannibal yourself. I'll
find Billy. And then my dad said, if I ever
have found drinks, I should spit it out. Do you
know what he's going to be back against, sir? Um, No,
(14:53):
I'm not. I'm talking to the child. I'm talking to
the child. I've been told to speak with Billy kind of.
It was a production meeting with some people, and I
was gonna try to work with Billy and well and
(15:13):
maybe you could talk to them, because I think maybe
they've got some things to talk to you about. I'll
stand across the room and listen from there. My hearing
is very sharp, of course it is. Okay, So Billy, um,
how how how do you feel here in Hollywood? Okay?
(15:34):
You freaked me out. I freaked you out. You're that guy.
That guy creeps me out. You're creeping the kid out.
I'm the problem here. This whole sets filled with creepers,
and I'm the guy, Reggie. I don't want to have
to do this, but I have to fire you. You
(15:56):
completely crept out, Billy. I don't know why you even
were talking to him. I told you his dad was
the problem. You're not supposed to talk to the children.
I was really certain people who can talk to the children,
and then everyone else can. That's inappropriate, talk to the children.
(16:17):
You're gonna talk to the children. He's allowed. Oh second,
I don't know this is but I really to talk
to the children. I know you're doing. I'm excited for me.
But again, hey man, you got fired too. Yeah, this
(16:41):
is ridiculous. You don't have to leave. I'm not gonna
leave really. Yeah. M dude, you're like, are they still
gonna pay us pay? Who cares about pay? Man? We're
making art here. You're a visionary yeah yeah, and you
have a for how this film should be. Mr Hannible.
(17:02):
I got all the kids out and I locked down
the entire set. What do we do now? Good? Good,
Billy good, Now, I'm going to fry pieces of your
brain and a skillet. Yep, it really was. It's not
four kids, it's with kids. That's what they got yet
(17:32):
scene too, So I'm listener. Danny Tanner, who wrote he
thought I dropped a line to your Newish email addressed
hopefully this is the scene I suggest that it's finally
really funny. Oh Danny, we love you. We've read your
scenes before. I'm not sure why all the two here now.
Danny's scene suggested pool side with the Coke Doctor from
(17:58):
Danny in Cess Sascat your one sat on Jesus Saskatchewan.
It's been too long since I've read that word Saskatchet. Juan. Yeah,
nice Martini, thank you thank you for Would you like
anything else? Can you put this solution on my back?
(18:21):
Of course? Baby baby likes it on the back. So yeah, Hey,
did they have any snacks or something for someone? Yes?
Would you like me to put an organ for some snacks?
I would thank you? It was cool. Would I mean
to warm up the motion before I put it on?
(18:46):
Thank you? Yes, snacks? Do you have a menua something
slipping out of my hands? Menus? Just grabbb grabbit thank you.
Let's see. I would like the side of nuts it was,
(19:08):
and maybe coke. We're taking some coke coke? Alright, I
have most of the lotion on my arms and shoulders,
so let me just on your back now the whole
way that's on me heavy, just well, his full body
(19:31):
writhing on me, full boy, Just go okay, don't look,
but kind of look, but don't let them see that
you're looking. Do you know who that is over there?
That know what that guy over there? Don't? I'm sorry,
I'm sorry. Christ You know you know the word we
(19:54):
use for this vacation was say it with me relaxed. Yeah, yeah,
I don't. I can't relax when you're blowing our cover,
when you're pointing everywhere when you're being a freaking goofball,
just tell me who he is. Ted. He's a doctor, okay,
a very famous doctor, like so famous you can you
(20:17):
know who he is on site? Exactly? Yes? Yes, okay,
now I'm gonna I don't know any famous doctors doctor Oz,
Dr phil Rich Kimball. Okay, so you do the famous
Dr Drew sus Pepper. Okay, you know is this working?
(20:40):
Is this weekend working for us? Relaxation? Relaxation? Hey? Are
you all using this towel? Yes, we're laying on it. Yes,
we're just getting it. If you're not using it, and
stop that. It's my towel, come home. Not a lot
of other towels, and you gotta have a key car
(21:00):
to get one. How did this guy get into this resort?
How are you? What room are you in? Sir? That's
a ship Okay, okay, let me take care of this,
thank you. I'm not the problem man's towel. It's not
his towel. I would try to bite my neck. I
(21:23):
did not. I did not try to. You'd know if
I was biting your neck, you would know. You would
know it feels good. She's a vampire. Night vampire, so
she can't be outside to night. I am not a
vampire part of me something? Okay? Is that who I
think it is? Are you doing with the coach? Doctor? Yeah,
of course that's who it is. But you know what
(21:44):
the doctor from TV? Yes, you know what I've said
too much? Get up and let this man have his towel.
I need to keep my pretzels. War what what I
need the towel to keep my pretzels? Okay? One, we
all pull our room keys. Why don't we all pull
our room keys? What do you say? Sure? Sure? Did
(22:05):
you just slip into an accent? Are you kidding? Maybe?
What is happening over there? Maybe everybody making a big
deal that you're here. I don't understand why. I don't
understand either. We give you big glasses, we give you
a fake nose, fake mustache and head. It's not usually bad.
(22:28):
You think that this disguise would work. Excuse me, I'm
so sorry to bother you while you're on vacation. Yes,
of course, um, but I know you're a doctor, and
my vacation is being ruined because my little girl's gotten sick,
and I was wondering maybe you could prescribe something for her. Yes,
(22:48):
of course, of course we can. Yes, but I would
need to examine. Maybe we don't vacation. I don't want
to be doctor this weekend. I want you to be hot,
sexy lover. But as I don't know what the hell happened.
But our daughter has pitched me sixteen different movie ideas
in the past eight minutes. All right, so I don't
(23:10):
know what that doctor did. She's feeling better. She's feeling better.
I guess, I guess, But were okay? Okay, sounds a
little answer kids. It sounds like anwer kids idea. No,
we're not gonna do that. Do it greenlight? No, we're
not hand up, we're not green lighting that. Put me
(23:31):
in it. No we're not not We're not gonna put
you in it. Okay. Starring Hannah m I thought you
wanted to be a volleyball player, gap, Yes, also a
volleyball player. Also a remake of Rocky, But he's a
volleyball player. Tag, you're it. I think his shoulder dislocated.
(23:57):
I think his shoulder dislocated. Hey, you wear my shoes.
Shoes man, kid? You want me to reset that shoulder.
I'm not as young as they look. I'm I'm actually eighteen.
I'm in college. Double What the hell is this? I
(24:20):
am pre med. Yeah, that's my chosen field. Yeah that
I'm going to be um. Yeah, but you look so young?
Yeah I know, yeah, I look really really young. The
voicesn't help, but I think I can reset your shoulder. Okay,
so on account of three, take a deep breath. One
(24:42):
to three other shoulders shoulders shoulder, God damn sucks double
nodded as well, how do you get these on? Just
(25:03):
get this go my mom? Com I don't know. Hey,
I ain't calling your mom. Man, let me just keep
this kill your mom? And I just said, are you
gonna go down that? I got money? I got money,
I got cash, I got cash, you got you got cash? Yeah?
(25:27):
Eyes on me, baby. I know that that small child
seems to be in wild distressed, lots of pain, but
please no, it's on me. That's so he is responsible
to just sit in unless this chance to film. It
is irresponsible to waste your vacation on back to work.
That's your responsible. You know what this delling Let the
child die. I don't think it's going I don't want
(25:50):
it to die. It's not like he's bleeding. Excuse me, folks,
I know that you're on vacation. I'm on vacation too.
I just wanted to say that I'm a big fan.
I love your show and you're you're the Coke Doctor
and you're Angel Leak. Yes, we have found out friends,
(26:11):
disguises did not work, but we always like to hear
from a fan. Can you tell you if that child
over there is I think he has two dislocated shoulders
from Yeah, he's just real floppy right now, real floppy.
Serious discount, I imagine, But maybe I could help do
(26:34):
I just I don't even know why we do all
these disguises. If all you want to do is go
help people. I shaved my head to put my hair
onto your head and nineties seconds, that's all I ask.
Excuse me, child, Yeah, put just a little dennispoon on
the Annasta. Lenry does. This is incredible. He just he
(26:57):
doesn't just do it for TV. There's no cameras around,
and he really does give cocaine as a solution to
every medical problem. Oh my god, I feel great. Look
I have his chealities and now I go back to
my town. Oh flippy, floppy, flippy floppy pain free. He's done. Okay,
(27:18):
here are your nuts and uh, you just touched his nuts?
Yes I did. Here you're nuts and you touched his nuts?
Yes I did, Yes I did. Let me just cook
at your seen to. It's gotta be seen to. What
a fucking we are. I'm so happy seen three yes
(27:48):
from patron Happy Haydn, who wrote hello again, I have
an unconventional scene suggestion format. If Lord Pollock permits, Well,
it's been that kind of day. Try a scene that
starts with the statement, I don't know, dude, I just
can't look at you the same since I walked in
on you blank xo XO, so I was talking to
(28:19):
my man. We gotta stop real quick. So yeah, you
have to start start seeing with the line kel of course,
say we're taking that back. I don't know, dude, I
just can't look the same sense here we go. Have
you noticed that, like a lot of these things, either
(28:41):
do the either start with the line? Is there a
problem with the script? Is that the what's what's going on? Well? No,
I just I didn't have the first page. I'm sorry,
it's I'm supposed to be here then, mm hmmm, mm
hmm okay, m yeah, I was number seven on the
call sheet. I would like to speak on behalf of
(29:01):
the entire cast of saying how could you treat you
have the first page? So may I ask you? Is
every day going to be this unperfected? I, for one,
if memorized my lines? Does anyone have the first page?
(29:25):
Sliding in? First page? Uh? Oh my god, Oh my god,
my god. Okay, okay, poked my eye out? Why did
you do that? Can't some cocaine? Oh my god, I
mean cocaine? What the hell is this man? A doctor?
I mean the doctor? Oh my eye? I mean you're
(29:45):
not actually in this scene anyway? So so are we
are we beginning with I don't know, dude, or are
we not? Well, we aren't. This is his line, So
but we we should be's turning with that? Uh? I
mean the production I'm waiting for my queue and then
(30:07):
I'll play the scene. I'm gonna say I'm not going
to say that action, I'll say the line, okay, thank you, yes,
already infected. I don't think I'm gonna be able to
work with him crying in the back. Either get him
some cocaine or get him out of here. I'm ready
to play the scene. We'll just go with it. Speak
(30:30):
the speech, I pray you. Can you say the magic word? Director? Sorry? Action?
Actually the funk? Are you? Yeah? Even your name? I
have my badge here? Uh yeah, even if it's on
(30:52):
this set. I mean, it can't be any less secure
than that guy. Look at his eyes hanging out of
his head. See the medic dude, Monica, I haven't seen.
I know you're directing a film here this afternoon. But
we have a couple of questions from the studio. Studio
I love questions. Great. Um, so how do you feel
(31:15):
how do you feel productions going? Um? It's a little
messy right now, but I think we're on the up
and up and we are looking good. Schedule wise, it
looks like we might go maybe two days over the
projected uh shoot time, but everyone seems on board. Yeah, okay.
Second question, who do you think would be a better
(31:35):
director for this project? Hypothetically? I mean, I can tell
you who my favorite directors are. Yeah, let's start with
that J. J Abrams Nolan. But I don't think that
they would do this better. Um, necessarily, they just happen
(31:58):
to be my favorite. Mr. We have J. J Abrahms
on the phone. Thank you so much. I'll take you now.
Jj H. What's happening? What can do for Anyboddy? What's
going on? It's Mr Sherbert Gredge talked to you again,
Mr s. What's happening? Uh? Listen? Um hypothetically, would you
(32:21):
be able to all by lay? Monica's here? Monica? Yeah,
she's here. He can hear you. You're on speaker. Great,
Hi jj hello Monica. Yeah. Um so, Monica has selected
you in the hypothetical world to take over directing um
her film. I actually I said that you're my favorite director.
(32:47):
But I do want to keep the gig. I do
want to keep keep the gig. M H. Yeah, I
need the money. Called the hypothetical Yes, thank you, j J.
I assume that's why you called anything else? Would you yeah,
so hypothetically would you just yes or no? Would you
be able to make it to Fullerton by this afternoon? Yes? Yes,
(33:08):
I could since hypothetical absolutely? What do you mean nice?
Better change of leadership? Monica? Would you like to tell Yeah?
I mean I don't know what to tell you. I'm
confused myself. But J. J. Abrams is going to come
in and direct this. Someone gets some medical attention for
this man. He's been writhing in pain for two hours.
(33:32):
There is a medic tent his his legs are fine,
he can walk himself. There. I'm no longer the director,
but I am actually taking over one of the lead
acting roles. She is now in the movie. Yeah, well,
I hope at least you know the line. Oh, I'm
really good at ad lipping. Um, So we're gonna start
(33:53):
with the first line, Monica. Um, it's I don't know, dude.
Um what was the rest of it? I can't look
at you the same ever since? Blank? Okay, sorry if
have I been Recast's just this one line is being realocated, Realcate,
I don't my line has been realocated. No, Monica, you
(34:16):
want to give us that first line? God, it looks
like now he can't walk to the medics tent his ankle.
Just you're an actor, You're sorry. It's hard for me
to go. Yes, UM, give me there. Ready to play
the scene. Yes, Um, I don't. Um, okay, someone Tommy
action right, Yeah, this is just a rehearsal. I'll say it. Okay,
(34:40):
it's just a rehearsal. I didn't mean to say just so. Yeah,
I mean this is it's a parking lot, but we're
in charge of it. Okay, so let's do a good
job making sure that this parking lot is locked what
my time doesn't need to be locked down? Right now?
Do we leave? Oh? And even then, yeah, I gotta
(35:03):
actually have you guys opened the gate up because I've
been fired and um um so told me that I
have to leave. I've been instructed to lockdown the gate.
So it's kind of embarrassing. I got this box with
all my things and I kind of just need to
get to my car and go, Jim, what do Uh
(35:24):
here's a second, I don't I don't know. I don't know.
I mean I can punch him, punch him? Yeah right, yeah, yeah,
have you good an idea? Hey, hey, box dude, to
talk to you for a second. Hey, listen, still needing
(35:44):
it out? You do? Can you tell me at which
sound stage? Dude? Where's my blanket shooting? You're on it?
I'm on it, very good, very good. I you don't know.
That was the nicest suit I've ever seen in my life.
(36:04):
I look like I cast some serious bang. Hey, welcome
to the student porium where we suit you up. Okay,
I get for you, but blower your volume please. Okay,
I'm going to I'm going to purchase a suit. You
don't need to give me the hard cell. Okay, let
you know this. Actually, no, we here's three suits for bones.
(36:29):
I require merely one suit. Okay, it's gonna be ninety
nine bones. It is regardless. Here are your bones, Here
are your bones. God, he's eating my neck corner. All right. Sorry,
(36:49):
I know you heard that our last sales guy got
eating on the floor, but I want you to know
that we put in some CCTV cameras so that that
shouldn't happen. I get and did you say eating? Did
you say I'm sorry? Did you say eating? I said
what I said. So it looks like you were in
(37:09):
production before, is that right? Yeah? Yeah, I was in production. Okay, great,
that's cool. So it's pretty much the same thing you
sold I did. I did Monica. Wow, get to see you,
get to see you. I'm over on sound stage twelve.
(37:31):
I like to do. I like to do a mid
midday walk among the stages stages. I'm acting now, so
oh shit, shit, that's great. I'm still I want to
tell you I wanted to tell you I was. I was.
(37:52):
I was too drunk on that date. I was too
drunk on that day. I was hoping that we could
just not you know, I know, I could just pass
each other and for me to move move forward and on.
I would love, I would love to make some amends
here or do whatever I can to just help the situation. Okay,
(38:13):
I I do owe you an apology, Robert. I do
oh to be honest, Um, I knew you were that drunk.
I could see that you were that drunk. I was
stone cold sober. Uh And I did choose to uh
are we doing the Robert stuff now? Because I'm sorry
(38:35):
to jump in, Monica, But I mean, you did affect
all of us, and you hugged the karaoke machine for
too long. And you can say that you were too drunk,
you can say that you were Unclecaine rob but we
all went to that bar to do karaoke and we
couldn't do it. Yeah, And I don't know, I don't
think I'm out any amount ever gonna Honestly, I knew
he was that drunk because we had been to a
(38:57):
bar before that, and I still said, come to the
private karaoke room and so I feel like I have
a bit of a responsibility for sure, you do. And
we saw you write his name down when you were
supposed to be writing your name down. Are we going
to shoot fucking anything today? Hey, we're just talking about
last Thursday night. You were there. Look, I don't care
(39:20):
what you're talking about, Sherbett. I played John Luke Pickard. No,
of course, Oh my god, that's where I know you're from. Yah,
send many other things. Shit, No, just now I've been dude,
where's my blank? Okay? What do you want me to say? Mr?
What do you mean to say? Say my queue line?
(39:42):
So I can act? I can't act? Wow to trod
the boards? Can we get this on camera? This is great?
This is what I'm talking about. This is it? Where's
where's the where is J J J? Where is so?
(40:03):
The thing is? He took me at my word? He
it was all hypothetical to him. What are you talking about? Shure?
I set up by hypothetical, and what's hypothetical? I don't
know how to define it, to be honest, I just
(40:24):
came back. I just came back from craft services and
there's a child eating pieces of his own brain there.
So get get this set under control. Okay, Monica, I'm
coming to you right now as a friend, as a boss,
as somebody who maybe blew a date. Uh. Yeah, I'm
just looking for one suit, just one Yeah okay, Um, sorry,
(40:52):
I'm pretty new you're you're looking for a kids suit? Yeah? Okay, okay,
let's see here. Do you do you know your suit size? Yeah? Okay?
All right? So, uh are you just gonna hover around
me the whole time? Or can I just this is awkward?
(41:12):
I don't even know. Honestly, I've never I've never fitted anybody,
but all these suits on the wall or adult suits. Um,
so why don't we cut the pant leg? Okay, okay,
now you're talking, Billy. I like your suit. Thanks, thanks
for Hannibal. It matches mine. I brought a friend. Who's
(41:40):
your friend? Someone we could have for dinner. I've never been. Uh.
I used to actually work in movies. Um. Actually I
used to work on this set. Uh, and I'd love
to have dinner. Good work, Billy, good work. Yes, we'll
have you for dinner. Thank you. Um, We're gonna have
(42:03):
dinner right now. Have a seat. Okay, I'm sure we
have to get this done quick. Yes, let's get it
done quick. Billy, my neck is not supposed to it
his neck like a corn cob an ca. Okay, so um, Leonard,
(42:29):
you are going to get that line back. So if
you could kick us off with that initial line. Once
Billy shows up to set, which I here on the
p A S they are going to go get him, uh,
then we're good to go. Imady, we do need this
guy wheeled off to the medic tent. Good God, I
thank you. Ready when you are, He thrust his fists
(42:52):
second to the posts and still insists he sees a ghost,
just doing a vocal warm up the ghost. I'm ready.
There's no ghost. It's I know that you're ready, Leonard.
We're just we're waiting on Billy. Once Billy is on set,
we can get started. Billy, all right, here's Billy. Okay,
(43:12):
great Billy, and then once we can sit. Um, we're
not doing that scene until later, the car crash scene
until later. And that's actually a different outfit than we
approved from costume for that scene. Billy, do you have
your costume for this scene? This is the diner scene.
(43:35):
I only want to wear this, Okay. Mr Sherbet coming in.
Mr Sherbert flying in. Okay, listen, we're running out of time, Monica.
We need to run this scene as we need to
hear this first line as written. Okay, okay, batum, this
is what we get paid for. By the way, they're
(43:57):
waiting around the acting. I do for free. Thank you,
thank you. I'm ready to go. IoT my mark? Great awesome.
Leonard Patrick, thank you, Billy. Are you on your mark?
I can tell you're not to get on your mark? Okay,
thank you? Oh sorry, you can't okay, Leonard can't say
(44:19):
Leonard can't say that it's a union thing. Okay, Sorry,
I just love being on a set. Okay, I'm out,
okay with you. I don't know, dude, I just can't
look at you the same since I walked in on you.
Oh we're still the camera's not everybody production is right
(44:44):
the show today as well. Oh wow, that was a
journey for me personally, and I thank you all for
your patience contributions to my education. Let's thank all of
our alchemists, shall we, in this order? Christopher Ronald, thank
you so much. When can we expect to see you
(45:05):
back in the surf? Jeez? I don't Hopefully soon but
that keeps this raw sewage keeps pouring by the millions
and millions of gallons into the Santa Monica Bay Venice area,
which is where I serve. So I don't know how
far up the coast could you go. That's a good
question because I've been wanting to trout Malibu. But you know, well,
(45:27):
please report back. I will, oh, I will. Thank you
so much. Comedy Fix is the podcast. Check it out, folks.
Jingle James Heeney, thank you so much for being here,
thanks for having me. And I just wanna read you
know what it actually that's sewage like it stinks in
Venice at night because the smell comes all the way
(45:48):
to my does it becomes like a like a fist,
it does. It comes in waves, but it doesn't start
coming into like eight o'clock at night, and they just
starts stinking like sewage. It's awful alchemy this pod and
read it, and I'd love to have a chat with
everybody there about sewage smells. Please please please, Um Jackie,
(46:12):
thank you, thank you, and think and think thank the
stars that I live on the East Side and and
and I'm luckily not smelling sewage every night. Fair it's
a nice blessing for everyone who's on the west side. Yeah,
thank you, appreciate you. Craig cow count me in as
(46:34):
anti sewage as well. Okay, all right, not into it
any Uh any visitors there? Your my niece Penny visited
a couple of weeks ago. Oh nice, Um, my my
aunt Ebba and is here? Is here? Is there? Not
(46:58):
the house, but elsewhere in town. There's a family that's
been coming in and out. It's been nice. That's very nice. Yeah,
all right, well continue on and uh just know that
we're all very envious of your situation. I'll be heading
back to l A in two weeks though, so back
to reality. Uh. I think she might stay none of
(47:21):
our damn business. I'm glad to ask Joe Great. If
you want to find me, you go to gamefront dot com.
We saw or heard from Craig. Uh and Jackie now
(47:43):
is back to not knowing any Craig's I think that's everyone. Uh.
Thank you, Doug Bam, Thank you are Heart Radio. Thank
you listeners and patron supporters. Uh as your host back
in the saddle, I've missed you and love you, and
I hope you continue to thrive in your lives and
(48:07):
thank you for your involvement in our our our efforts.
Continue to write to us at I'll give you this
email gmail dot com. Until next time, O
Alchemy This News
Host
Kevin Pollak
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