August 12, 2021 • 56 mins
Stoned Chris Goes Shopping...
Grizzled Private Eye...
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This I'm your guest.
That was cool scratting in for Kap This week, Let's
meet her alchemist Shally and no particular words say hello
to Chris Alvarado. Chris, you've been surfing a bunch during
all this. If you could go to surf anywhere, what
would that location? UM? Similar with small soft waves, probably
(00:26):
like Costa Rica here has that I'm not I'm not
in this sport cold to like test myself or push
the boundaries on myself physically. I want little baby waves
that just go on forever. Let's go to a lazy
river at some water park and yeah, that sounds good.
Next up it's James Heeney. Heeney, if you could revive,
(00:50):
reboot any old video game, what would it be? I
think it would be the video game Populus, which was
a lot of fun. You gathered civilizations and you played
as a god. I just think that they could. There
was a Populist too, which just wasn't very good. You know,
it needs to be revived in a good way. That's fair,
(01:11):
all right. Next up, Jackie Gonzalez to Ruthie. Jackie, if
you had to live without one of your senses, which
one would you give up? Oh that's really hard because
if you lose I need my side, I need my hearing.
But if you lose smell, you're gonna lose taste. So
(01:33):
I'm gonna go with touch. Okay, I'm gonna go with touch.
I'm gonna get to touch my gun to feel anything. Yeah.
I can still grip things, I just don't know their texture.
I just want to say, I spit my gum out
(01:53):
onto my dog. What an m night Shamalan twist from Jackie.
I did not expect that. I did not expect that.
I love that answer, though. Next up it's Craigkowski. Craig,
I heard you're opening up a new restaurant. What's the theme? Cool?
The theme is, uh is touch is lack of touche?
(02:17):
Oh my god? Uh, every all the textures that we're using. Uh,
you know, if you have your sense of touch, you're
not going to be able to discern uh what they
feel like. It's it's cutting edge, new technology. Uh. And
then all the you're we're going to blindfold people. We're
(02:39):
also going to play uh Norwegian death metal the whole time,
so you're you're hearing is kind of out of whack,
and you're just gonna be able to focus on the
taste and the smell. As Jackie said, those two senses
are related, so you're gonna come straight in the two
most important senses, Like you took one of those restaurants
in the dark and blew it the funk up. I
love it. Yeah, Yeah, Finally, Last, but not least, it's
(03:02):
Joey Greer Joey rumor has it you've been wearing a
Halloween costume the entire year. What is it? Rumor hasn't
um So the hall of the Halloween costume is it's
just on the feet and it's it's fake penguin. Feete, bingueno, bingueno.
(03:30):
Let's do it darn show, shall we? I said darn
instead of damn like I said to myself, Like we'll
say the F word a lot, But there we go.
All of our scene suggestions are gathered from listeners, emails,
or from our Patreon v I p s. To become
a Patreon supporter of the show and enjoy exclusive content
and other perks, just head on over to patreon dot
com slash Alchemy this if you'd like to submit a
(03:51):
scene suggestion, via email. Please write to the podcast at
our new email address, Alchemy this email at gmail dot com.
That's scene one is from Patreon v I P. Cory,
who wrote seene alert, we need to bring back Chris's
(04:11):
Stone character, the one with a goofy, weird laugh hilarious Stone.
Chris is shopping in a grocery store where in his
mind the advertising mascots, his mascot's the right word logo
brand characters come to life and are talking to him
and only him, Captain Crunch, Little Debbie and Jemima Popping Fresh.
You get the idea. Love you all, p s. Will
(04:32):
you guys eventually be heading back into the studio for
normal recordings anytime soon. Love you all. Yeah, so cereals here?
Do you have any other questions? Or uh? Okay, thank you?
Enjoy Ralph? Yeah, got shop. Pick me my friend, unless
(04:57):
you want to get attacked by the shoggy Come on,
I don't want the shogies to get you. Yeah. Put
me in a cart Hi, it's me the Puffin's Penguins,
Penguinouino pick does don't just make your urine smell like honey.
(05:23):
Get me in a cart ha. Put me in a cart.
Don't you want some healthy oats? Just some healthy oats.
Attention all customers, Attention, all customers. There is a wild
bobcat somewhere in Ralph's. You don't want to know healthy oats.
(05:49):
Put me in a cart, Come on my ear so
here that he says, the wild bobcast somewhere ross. What
the hell? That can't be real. That's that's you, guys.
Just calmed down. There's no bobcats and rol. Let's just
get out of here. Look, we don't even cut anymore.
(06:11):
Pobcat Goldthwayne. Yeah, I mean it's a real one, and
it's someone on the store right now. I'm pretty sure
they meant like a real bobcat. I don't think they
meant just like a They would never just announce the
celebrities existence. That's really Yeah. I'm not even really wild anymore.
I don't really talk like this anymore. Thing I put
(06:32):
on a long time ago. This is sickness. Good for
the turkey or oh yeah, how much turkey did you
do want? Sir? Attention Attention Ralph's customers, there is a
wild Bobcat in the store. Also, poly Shore is here,
Holy Ship, poly Shore's here, and here we are complaining
(06:57):
every day that nothing cool ever happens at this job.
I know we got a Bobcat and Poly short Bobcat
gold weight. Yeah, well he's working here, he's been working
for a while. That's kind of exciting. I guess on
the day that the actual Bobcat is here. And on
the day, can I get three pounds of for phudo? Buddy?
(07:18):
Oh look, god, Polly, I haven't seen you in years. Yeah, sorry,
here about missy. It's okay, buddy. Um, can I weet
some juice or something? We don't have juice to add
the storm. Come on, you can get me with berries.
(07:39):
You can get me with peanut butter. Put me in
the cart. I have this weird feeling that Poly Shore
and Bob Kat I don't know his last name is here,
and I gotta go explore that gold, gold weight, gold
thwait gold eight. Everyone's not in their head. It's not
(08:07):
don't listen to look. What I'm saying is I'll be
right back. I want to go explore this. Wait, okay, okay,
you can come with me. All right, all units, we're
heading over to Rouse right now in sixty three Birmingham.
We gotta lock that store down. There is a Bobcat
on premises. We gotta make sure we close that store.
Nobody in, nobody else. Wait, wait, you should let the
(08:27):
people out. We know that we're trying to trap an animal,
right the bobcat out dress. I'm just saying, get the
people safely out so that no one gets mall by
the right. Now, we don't know who's a person or
who's a bobcat dressed as a person. All right, so
we gotta go buy the book here. Nobody in, sorry,
nobody out. Sorge, Are we sure it's pronounced Ralph's What
do you mean? I always thought it was races, like
(08:49):
the actor Ray Finds. Oh my god, is that always
spells his name? Yeah? I thought it was Ray r
a Y. He thought his name was Ray find Charge.
I mean, come on, guys, come on, guys, all right,
we're going to races Ralphs. Let's just say rolpse row
until we alright, let's just go. Let's stay consist. We're
going by the book. It's to me, Hamburger Helper. I'm
(09:16):
a dirty glove. I'm a dirty girls. Oh do you
know Captain Crunch. Yes, I've been even met before the
time somebody stocked it wrong and put me in the serial.
It was a long time ago. You do know each other,
(09:38):
not not very well. Kiss each other. I'll make you
guys kiss each other. Don't do He's a nice alright,
Look where the cashier's right? We got a bean together
because I got a feeling that the guy damn butcher
section is going to rise if you try to kill you.
What that sounds like a real a pobcat. Yeah, it
(10:01):
might be the butchers trying to get in our head.
Now with a cashier. All right, you gotta stick together,
all right, now that we gotta do everything we can
to take over this Ralph's all right, this is us.
We can use the you know, the separators as kind
of like batons. Great kick some ass. That's great. You
(10:26):
didn't scan my you didn't scan my rouse card. Let's
get that for you here, thank you. Okay, this says
it is expired. What your Ralph's card is expired? Is
that a thing? It's me race race side? Oh my god, wait,
(10:50):
someone get on the p A. Someone's got to announce this.
Oh my god. We're not part of the announcing crew. Yeah,
that's on our job. And what the hell are you
part of the announcing crew. No attention Ralph's customers. Again,
there is a wild bobcat. Loosen the store. Uh, proceed
accordingly if you need to get your shopping done. We
understand that there is a podcat in the store. Also,
(11:12):
Actor Ralph finds is here. Oh I know the ship.
I owned the place, and they still refused to call
me by my name. Race here. Kitty, kitty kitty, Oh
you slaw me? What do you want? Milk? Milk, kitty
(11:34):
kidd milk? Do you want to see these two guys kiss?
That would be fun? Okay, Julian, I don't know how
long we can hold up in the goddamn manager's office. Alright,
but we gotta do something, and we gotta do something now,
all right, you keep on telling everyone they find us here.
Oh shoot, I hear it. We gotta do something. Maybe
(11:55):
maybe we should just maybe we should just kill each other,
just end it, kill each other. Julian, Yes, yes, maybe
maybe maybe. I don't know. I don't know. I mean,
I mean, worst case scenario, we die from the podcat.
But that worst gonna die, That that that the worst
case comes through, the worst case that happens, Julian, is
(12:18):
that bobcat burrows into our chest cavity and then put
his arms where arms are, legs where our legs are,
and it walks around in a human sense. Attention. Um,
nobody needs to worry about anything, because I got my
friends on the job, and we're gonna take care of
(12:39):
this cat situation. Everybody, we got a man on the inside,
all right. I heard that the p A that there's
someone on the inside that's gonna be able to take
care of this situation. So we gotta get every equipment,
every piece we can to our inside man. You understand,
Everybody saying hello to the Keebler. Else anyway, say hello
(13:02):
to the Jolly green Giant d Everybody say hello to
who else is here? Who else? I'm the Brownie and Lumberjack.
Oh you tell me. These are the most up to
(13:24):
date schematics we have on the building. This is no
I mean, this is what it gave me. I I
don't know if it's Let's use what we got people,
all right, let's look at here. So we got the
air events. Definitely, we cannot put a little robot in there.
What else? What else can we do here? I think
we can enter the store through the doors they haven't
(13:46):
locked it down and then have a Bobcat rip your
face off. Well, there's a lot of living people in there. Still,
I'm feeling that in fear go popping people in the
head to make sure we shot the bobcatsutely. No, absolutely not.
I mean I would never advocate for that. That's that's
really I look, glare, it is just looking at the
(14:10):
bar's head, meats. Let me see if the reason with it,
how house the mountains you enjoy being there? Is there is?
Shoot the bobcat shot. Oh no, we did it, We
(14:35):
did it. We got him, serge, damn right, we did,
damn right, we did. Oh my gosh, I'm might I
take a seat? Is that plight to give me that? Oh?
I'm feeling good in the neighborhood. Did you guys just
kill cat gold Gold? We killed the bobcat gold for
(14:59):
me badness right now? Eyes That guy's suffering reef for madness.
Gold's weight wait goldthwait gold Weight. You're saying it it's
a pretty straightforward name. No, No, it's not. No, it's
not goldweight Goldwit's not straightforward. It's a name. And there's
(15:23):
a kid behind you looks like the Feds took out
the butcher section, so we should just get the hell
out of here. Now they're taking care of what's happening.
It's happening, all right, y'all. Listen, we gotta do you
gotta be organized here, okay, how we gotta stay together?
And we got a former new society? Is mine? Ringing
me up from my altoy so I can get back
a set of course. Do you have a Rolph scar?
(15:46):
Oh my god, okay, captain, Captain, I need you now,
Oh Lucky charm lepricn I need you now, great, Tiger,
I need you now. It's Tony. It's to Tony, this tiger.
(16:07):
And what do you say? Great? I mean you were
right there, but it is. My name is Tony. It's
not great. That's just my just geeto. Yeah, but you're
a weird dude. You're grows. He's sexually charged. Yeah, you're
sexually just rubbing my hips. So he's doing he does
(16:31):
a lot of bog rolls. And there's what just what
dude doing squats and doing hip extensions? What's going on?
That was going on? It's not that funny. That was
(16:54):
who's who's that? It was a quaker quick roots. Okay,
all right, all right, enough fucking around, Let's go kill
this cat. What the hell? No, no, no, no, no,
you can't kill me. I look big, but I'm actually
to scale. I'm quite small. If we're gonna kill a cat,
(17:16):
but we killed Tony the Tiger. Huh, he's a predator.
That's a predator cat. Hey, I'm in terms of an
apex predator. Yeah, I'm an apex predator, but I'm not.
I'm not. I'm not here to get you. If anything,
if we were to fight, you might win because I'm
a n't. He's a different that cheetah. You're an ambush predator.
(17:40):
I'm I'm just like. I'm a fear. I'm a fierce.
Ye're just a straight up killer. You should have killed
I'm just like I feel like I am. I on
the am, I on the judgment here am I should
be Tony the Tagger? Are you a fireman? And my hip,
sir hip, are you a fireman? I'm I gotta be
(18:02):
honest with you, sir, I am whoa. I'm kind of
sobering up by well. I smoked a lot of weed
and eates medicals this morning, and I feel like I've
been having a conversation in this serial aisle for hours
and hours? Can you confirm or deny that? Okay, yeah,
I know it's a uh it's a race. But yeah,
(18:25):
it's four am and you're pretty much the only customer here.
We uh we got rid of the the Bobcat hours ago.
Is everyone okay? Yeah? The director of Shakes the clown
got a couple of bullets to the head. But and
that's the number one. Oh sorry, Bob Cat, no buddy
(18:52):
c Number two is from listener Yan, who wrote, I
recently watched the brilliant seventies oz flaitation horror flick Wake,
Wake and Fright, and was inspired to request a scene.
How about a grizzled private eye stranded and broke in
out back Australia, trying to find some local mysteries to
solved to earn enough cash for a plane ticket back home.
(19:13):
Keep malcomizing and don't play with it. It'll fall off.
Love from you in true blue strand easy to be, am,
I what you'll be And my I wasn't even saving you.
You've had enough to drink. I'll have the beer. Will
(19:34):
you give me a little keys? This tastes like piss
is a basic. Gonna get a read of em. And
what's up with the trench. It's too off of that
out of here back, it's a uniform for work. Fuco.
Would you call me fuck? I'll bet you a packing fight,
sing mite, get big. Any kangaroo's naws your vines, naws
(19:57):
it my bones. Listen, I'm not afraid of a kangaroo. No,
you don't know. I come from Brooklyn. I come from Chicago.
I come from a lot of really big, tough places
come from anybody's seen my daughter. My daughter, she's been
(20:21):
going for a long torn just give it up. I'll
keep going around every day and then let me see
that flyer. How long has she been missing? Seven years? Mate?
Seven years? Well, I think, uh, I think I can
take this. I'm kind of the I'm from like San
(20:42):
Francisco and like big cities, and I solve big crimes
and big cities. And I haven't seen anything worth my
time out here. They said he's like Adelaide. I never
heard of it. Big cities like Houston Coast. Tell you
what if you found my daughter, I'll give view a
Fosters and a Waltz and Matilda. I don't know what
(21:04):
the hell of Walton Matilda is. But I don't like Bosters.
I guess that's Australian for beer. I don't like it.
It's not good all right? How about money? Then money
is perfect. I need to get a flight back to
the USA where the big cities are. All right, Well,
you fond me daughter, I'll give you a spare their long.
(21:25):
I need Deity, big dty. You know that can't be
me that you're talking about. You. You know I got
a good eye. We can probably find your daughter. And
I won't like a bier. You won't give me a
(21:46):
little bier, and I'm gonna give me a beer, all right?
Who even had enough? I knew how to not well
a case that I was just gonna suggest the same
god damn thing. I don't know this country very well.
(22:08):
But Nicole Kitman I think she does. It's kid to me,
not Kitman. Yeah. Well, you guys all talk weird to
me too. Okay, So if you're gonna handle busness, you can.
If they order another beer game day beaches, here they're
boy another beer. Wake up, Darling. Today's our seven year anniversary, Keith,
(22:37):
and I got you a little something? Can I open it?
Now open it, open it here going yeah, that's a
lot of gold. It's just straight up gold coins and
bars and bars. Thank you. I guess I was trying
(23:02):
to do like like a treasure theme for the seven
year it's really thank you. I'm sorry that I wasn't
so excited. Really, I like this. This is what every
woman wants, is just a sun of gold, but not jewelry.
(23:22):
I think we've had our time, so I'm gonna lock
the door again. Okay, but but I'm thinking tonight it
might be some mashed potatoes. If you're good, I love you,
sugar goo chicken, pretty wild. Here's the address of world
I saw seven years ago, and he be of a
(23:45):
favorite movie Dot and the Kangaroo on DVD. That should
help you, did I? Goodluck? H Come on, kitman, let's go.
Keep mean, that's what I said. Okay, let's go. All right,
you're driving, I'm still drunk, alright, fine, but I don't
know how to drive. What side of the road do
(24:06):
you guys drive on? Here? The right side? Well, I
call it the wrong side, all right. So let's see here.
All right, So this is just a regular old street address.
You know, I've solved many mysteries before. No ways, a
little bit of what I did back home in America.
(24:28):
I act and in back home. But yeah, this is
me solving things. This is solving thanks. Okay, my mistake,
my mistake. All right, Well, where's your guy to say?
Did Ding Ding? Hey Joe? How's it going? Okay, not
(24:49):
saying much, Lesten. I want a couple of potatoes. I'm
making some of the misses some mashed potatoes. Big special
day today. Oh he's look good and he's russet. Okay, great,
all right, I think that I'll do it up up butter.
I need some butter, and get some butter real quick, okay,
(25:13):
and I'll think this all right, Hey, Joe, put it
on my taboo. Yeah, Ding's pretty well has he had
his whole a poblem and stayed up as just like
all these people he's abducted like a little town, you
know what I mean? Yeah, when you get gold, you know,
I don't really get that many prisons. Sorry, yeah you know, yeah,
(25:36):
but gold. But then, but do you know where he
makes me work? In our tiny town you know, abduction town?
Yeah I know that. Yeah, No, I mean I'm at innuitation,
so working in sewage. I'm working in sewage management. That's
all I do. Yeah, yea, in the management. I'm seeing ittation.
I'm saying I'm actually doing this ship job. You know,
(25:56):
so your sewage management. All right, you complaining in the
middle like I mean, it's just years ding dinging. Hey
there's Steve just here to mel a letter ahead and
take the layer. Oh you know what, let me get
a book of stamps too, great, thank you, thank you. Okay,
(26:20):
have a good day. Understand you're a minager, I said, Well,
I mean only been here for three years. I've been
here for seven years, and Steen Harkin and Tom put In.
But I'm saying I'm actually dealing with the toy a
fake tem sheeps sheet. Well, I have to deal with
this scenitation. I mean only wanting DJing. Oh hey there, Stevie,
I here to pick up my suit at the dry cleaners.
(26:43):
G sup, Okay, let me see you got the start rides?
All right? I couldn't solve it, do you difficult? Then? No,
it's not that I can't solve it. It's just well,
(27:04):
I go to this property in this address, and it's
got a big wall in front of it, and it
seems like it's a giant property. Nobody's answering the door. Honestly,
he he barely even troyed. And I actually have to
get back to the States because I'm starting to film tomorrow.
So good luck with just having this one, because he's
he's already thrown in the towel after very thrown in
(27:27):
the towel. It's just nobody's answering that I pushed the
button at the gate. That nobody answers. Have you tried
scaling the gate given that a shot? No? No, I haven't.
Now to back of scale it all right, all right,
(27:50):
ing ing, hello, hello, hello, oh ei there. Oh yeah,
you can tell by the accent. Uh you sound you
sound American too? Uh you got me as you can
(28:11):
see by this trench coat. I'm a detective. Oh nice.
Well what can I do? What can I do for you? Well?
This uh part of America? Are you from? Well, I'm
from big cities. I'm from places like Detroit. I'm from
places like uh Peoria, I'm from places like Peoria. Yeah, Peoria.
(28:38):
So we're gonna do for you. Well, there's this is
a DVD case. Where did I put that photo? Ah? Well,
I'm looking for someone who loves this movie here Dotty
in the Kangaroo Jesus, I can't even reade. Uh, I
don't know what the hell are you talking about? But wait,
(28:58):
I've been trying to get ahold of who lives here
for a while. Town. I don't just live here. I
mean you can go to my neighbors. That's Rob and
Janis are over there, and uh, maybe we want to
grab yourself a bite. The diner is delicious, you know,
let make good sandwiches. Um, you know, maybe ask ground
see if maybe you'll find something. Yeah, so I'll just
go to the restaurant over there. Sure have fun, all right,
(29:22):
thank you? Get the cold slaw, trust me? Okay, I will,
I will ding ding dingy, Table for one, table for one?
All right, this yef? First time in abduction town? In
(29:42):
what abduction town? I guess? So yeah, I'm oh, there
it is. It was in my wallet. Have you seen
this woman? He's not here anymore? Before I help on
my PJ. Do you think I'm funny? I think you're finny, right,
(30:10):
funny enough for right they just get to be a
get out of it. But be honest, first of all,
I'm gonna thinking you for more vis and you've been
refusing me. So don't come over here and tell me
to get a beer and get out of here. Thinking
of all, you think I'm I'm funny, because what do
(30:32):
you want today? Well, I want to be coming. I
want to see if I can dip my toes in
the comedic scenes because you know, I'm supposed to be
playing Lucy Lucy your ball. And a lot of people
are like, I don't think that she can, And I'm like,
first of all, her entire life isn't funny, but sure
I can. I can chuck it up for a couple
of a couple of takes, don't you think? I mean?
(30:55):
I think they're expecting an individual who can portray the
kind of character he's labor day in their whole life.
You know what I mean? Right, So, so you think
I'm funny? Now, I didn't say that. I'm just saying
the character has been in it. There's expectation, right, the
years are gonna be a lot of hot ships. We
don't know that it's tragic, but in solid that there's
a core of humor. It's trans lighted through the kir
(31:19):
So you just had lunch and he came back. It was.
I mean, I guess, Uh, the problem is is nobody's
ever seen this. I think maybe you need a newer picture.
How would I have that? Okay, so this is abduction tony, Okay, great,
(31:41):
So we just came to this dinner. We here, we
heard some like fantastic things. Uh we were saw How
did you how did you hear it about us? I
was on Yelp and then trip Advisor also recommended abduction dinner. Yes,
so I like the coleslaw and okay that dessert. But
it's it's pretty much what we have. You only have
(32:03):
col Yeah, we've mr We've all been aducted. It's it's
it's an American. Look you, he's abducted all of us
and Nicole. Kidman kind of floats in and out of
this town. His name is Keith, not not Keith. I
get it. I get it because he has an American X.
(32:25):
I get it. So you just don't want to service.
That's what's going on. No, no, no, what big held hostage?
You know what? So am I? This town is called
abduction town? So him, I'm being held hostage here with
bad service? How did you get here? How did you
even find out about this place? There's a there's this
single bar in the outback okay that has WiFi. We
went there. I want a trip Advisor Hot places to go,
(32:48):
and it popped up Abduction Town, so I came over here. Okay,
well it's hot because every day it's like forty degrees.
It's not forty degrees. It's way harderan that. It's like
a hundred or something. No celsius, not farenheight. I'm saying
full to degreas well. Thanks for trying. Here's your walks in.
Matilda has promised walk same matud walk, same part of me. Yea,
(33:17):
I'll take a beer please, all right, I don't got
one car and a ticst like peace. That's fine, thank you?
Oh you're that uh oh yeah yeah, yea yeah. I
loved it. I I yelped that that restaurant was fantastic.
Great as you had a waltzon Matilda over here. I
(33:42):
had no. Oh yeah, that was a great I did
not like it tasted like this. M hey, I found
that picture. I found the Picturestler for do you know
this is you know who? This is what I mean?
It's it's an old picture. It's got to be seven
(34:02):
eight years old. Do you know who this is? Think
you look at that careful with it. That's the only
one I got, Okay, I mean she looks a little familiar.
I don't know. Oh that's what I thought. She looks
a little familiar to me too. Oh really, where where
might you know her from? I don't know where I
would know her from. I'm not from around here. I'm
(34:22):
just a little similar to you, like you've probably seen
her before. Well, yeah, it's a little picture. So the
problem is if it was a big picture or a
new picture, I think I could know better. But this
is as it stands right now. You might you might
know her? Baby? Do you know her? I guess? Uh? He'
isn't that logic? Maybe? No? Anyway, all right, well, I'm
(34:44):
gonna head back to abduction town. You gotta pipe for
the BM No, thank you, no, thank you? I guess.
Let me tell you, sweet, It's okay, buddy. I listened
to me right now, you know what? Everyone say it
a lot. We're going to these blocks hails, and we're
gonna take exactly one on night for this b right, everyone,
what are you doing? What you mean? What am I doing? Mate?
You didn't want to pay me to be. It's the
(35:05):
only bloody bar in town, the only one with WiFi,
and I pay that WiFi buil with the beer money.
All right, now, let's go open, let's go and we're here. Okay,
what do you okay? What did you want? Now? I
want to say, first off, very very fantistic conversation on
the right here, all right, judge before I even met right,
(35:28):
but this is my it's all a little town. Oh yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah, come on, come on, I'm like the unofficial
mayor here, Jenism, I don't even seen you. Teeny's what
are you doing? You know? Robin Janis and that one there,
that's Rob Janis? What you need? What do you do?
(35:50):
It all been abducted. He's abducted us. What is this?
How my good? Are you free? Now? Yeah? I want
duc to you. No you're not. That's not worked. Wait
in a second, it smells like ship around here. What's
my sewage manager? My sewage worker? What the hell? What's
going on? Rob? What I mean? Because it's not it's
(36:12):
the way that you would exactly what you're getting routins.
I'm sorry. Second, excuse me, excuse me, Hold on one second,
I've got it. I'm sorry for just barging into this cell.
But you look similar to this picture. Let me see
that picture. Careful with that. It's the only one I
(36:32):
have look similar. This is me, this is yeah, this
is want that. That's embarrassing. I don't even years ago
as a child, and then come on from eight years
old to fifteen years old. It's a big deferense. Oh
you're fifteen years old. Okay, well you see. I'm sorry,
(36:56):
I'm sorry, you know what. This is embarrassing, but I've
been hid to find you. I'm I don't know if
you could tell, but I'm an American. Yeah, I can
hear your voice. So you just left her there. I
should have gone with you, draining my fault. And that's
(37:19):
our sex scene. Everybody c three from Patrion v I
P David to Joe Hoo who simply room another scene suggestion.
We are at the glamorous premiere of Fast and Furious
one David w double vax and happily naked from the
(37:39):
chin up in Boston. Thank you so much. That was amazing.
I can't believe the interviews were getting here and everyone
watching live. I just want to say that the amount
of celebrities is in calculate. There are everybody is here,
from everyone from the very first we have obviously we're
gonna have the DNA bril bots coming through with all
(37:59):
the actors from the very first one that can't be here,
as well as all the new actors from every single
Fast and Furious celebrating the one hundred movie within the franchise.
This is fantastic, Bruce, what's going on in your side
of the carpet? Well, it's uh, I feel like all
the A listers are coming down your carpet over there.
(38:21):
I got a couple of the key grips from the
seventeenth film, and there's the Best Boy, there's the Best
Boy from thirty four. But can you stop? You can't stop,
You can't stop, you can't stop right now? He's maybe
you should just stay on your side of the carpet.
Uh I just there's really nobody coming up. Here's a
couple of there's the there's the guy that Mike up
(38:42):
Paul Walker in the and in Tokyo Drift. Uh do
you have a minute to stop a Bruce? Paul Walker
was not in Tokyo Drift. I'm gonna cut you off
right there, Okay, let's just uh, let's let's move on
over to Christen. What's going on here? Oh? Just speaking
(39:02):
of you, Mr Walker, how are you? We have you
in robot form, now, how are you? I am good,
so happy for Fast and Furious with me as well,
me as swell, so uh what what do you say
as well? Oh? My gosh, we are excited to see
(39:25):
you in this movie. I can't wait to see what's
gonna happen. I just watched it. It's amazing. Wow, you
got an early screening, No, you mentioned it. I watched
it in that in two seconds and it's great, amazing, amazing. Well,
I can't wait to watch it for the next four hours.
So that's how long the runtime is. And I'm very,
(39:48):
very excited. Anything you want to say to the fans
across the world, Hey, Fast and Furious fans, I'm just
as good as I've ever been fans. Um, excuse me,
I I think there's been an error in one of
(40:10):
the robots. One of the bots. One of the bots.
Excuse me, excuse me? Yeah, you know not to call
a bots. I know, I know, it's just I don't
call him bots. Okay, Wealthy the mechanical Beings the actoids, actoids, okay, whatever,
whatever you want to call them. I think there's about yeah,
(40:32):
whatever I want to call it by the one who
invented deub. You guys do a great job. Typically there's
just a mechanic. I mean, he does a lot of
the screwing in and all. He did a lot of
the actually assembly. But I'm the one. I'm the one
who's suspicious that some of these uh actor robotics actrobotics.
(40:55):
I'm concerned to actorroids. Yeah, you know, movies about family
first of varmos, it's about family, you know, the family
you have, and coronas and uh driving, it's mostly what
this one's about. Huh. So you can just drop me
(41:16):
off over there and then I'll be able to find
you want me to. It's me Rick Rick Diesel. Okay, Mr,
it's it's it's Rick Vincent. But I changed my name
Rick Diesel like my brother, did you know. Yeah? Yeah,
So just right over there and then I'll be able
to pop out. That's cabs only I can't stop there, manuver. Okay,
(41:42):
so's gonna happen. Okay, so we're going around again. This
is the third time we've got just drop me off
wherever so I can get out. I gotta make this
goddamn premiere. Do you have a plus one? Yes? I
have a plus one, but I'm waiting on somebody. Can
I can I be a buzz one? Did you hear
what I said? I'm waiting on. So okay, do do
(42:02):
do do do do do do do do? Hold on
a second do Hey, dude, I am out for tonight.
So are you serious? Yeah? You get infected? A shots
shuts shuts shut, all right. I gotta get going, man,
What do I just read you? What do I gotta
get going from? What? Dude? Fuck you? Oh? My fucking god, dude,
(42:25):
he always does this ship? God damn it, God damn it.
You can't they cancel? Okay? Can I come? You want to?
You know what? Sure? Sure? You know really really grinds
my gears. We worked really hard, and we're the heart
(42:45):
and soul of the of this whole freaking operation, and
then these p a s think that they could just
come in here, tell us how to do our job,
tell us that we're not doing it right. You're a
really good person. Yeah, I have principles that I stand
up for them. You have beautiful hair. Thanks. Do you
(43:07):
ever think maybe you could have a relationship with an acteroid?
You know, I I've doubted, you know, I actually doubted. Yeah.
We're not supposed to make any of living actors, um technically,
but what happens behind closed doors is what happens behind
(43:27):
closed doors. Um, one of George Clutey's male male baby twin.
You know, George Clutey had twins and one of them
was a male, and that's the one I I think
they've outsander. I just call him, I just call him pooky.
So yeah, cool, Yeah, So do you think maybe we
(43:50):
should um have been concerned with that guy in here?
We gotta check out that signal for the acteroids? All right?
I hope that you just said Greeks because we're both
preak descent. Yeah, I said freaks. All right, alright, running
dyagnostics in two. You don't need to do that. What
someone calls you a freak, own your power, be your
(44:12):
own person. Don't let anyone just step all over you.
You have beautiful eyes. No, okay, um a bobcat By
it was happy to answer your questions. Awesome. So, uh,
you know you've directed so many movies, so so many movies.
(44:35):
And now you're directing the hundred fast and furious. Congratulations. Thanks,
you know trajects. My career was taken after I died. Yeah,
is I hope you must destroyed? So you don't think
(45:03):
it's worth taking a second to run the diagnostics on
all the acteroids. I think you need to do it
on your own of court, not because some some FuG
cavid here it called you a freak. You know, like,
if you feel it in your own ownness, then you
should do it. But you shouldn't bow to the bullies.
That's where I stand. Maybe you could go in there
(45:24):
and ask the nicer to run the diagnostics. I mean,
people are dying out here. What are you talking about?
I know that there are so you ever seen how
they act around the acteroids. I'm sure they just go
in there and just give them some respect because they
kind of got a lot of power in some respect.
It's just weird. Is disturbing the way to it, even
if you gotta take it just for five maybe I
(45:46):
know they're killing everyone. They're killing everyone. Camera two, go
to camera six. Oh my god, no record all this record.
This is amazing, this is perfect for life. To no, no, no, no,
this is for us and Paul Walker and Tucker. Oh
my god, all right, we gotta stream this immediately. Okay,
this is all right. You know what. I feel good,
(46:08):
I feel empowered. I'm gonna make this decision. I'm gonna
run some diagnostics. Here we go. You go for it.
If you're gonna do that, then I'm gonna get out
on the floor because you know, if they're having issues,
they might need a little sugar help, a little help.
They might need a little help. Yeah, a little, a little.
I mean, have you seen the Paul Walker I made
(46:30):
the left? Okay, yeah, this is it, this is shots.
We're gonna go in there and we're gonna tell my
buddy he's a piece of ship. Okay, man, okay, I
really kind of wanted to go in the movie that
my brother's in. But yeah, we'll get just you can
see it on you can see it on shots. Shut
shut shut. Love the choices I've made tonight, choices I've
(46:51):
made tonight. You gotta pay for what you did, because
you know, life is all about family. Because are you?
This is Vince Kully? Oh like all my fist, the
golden fist breaking my head shot. Shot tell you what, man?
(47:12):
Let's do shots. Whoever does more shots gets the papers
of the other one's car. I'm totally gonna win this
love shot. You have to know he has an oversized liver.
He actually can take more shots to me. Yeah, you
don't know that. You don't know about my family history.
(47:34):
I guess you're right. Original last name before we moved
to America was Yeagermeister. I get this deer hunter. All right,
here we go, he go west. Oh, let me get
one more, one more shot. Oh my god, he's a
(48:03):
but he's but oh my god, about this whole time.
But but but but when you meant sugar, you meant
like checking on, like they're like the hard drives and stuff. Yeah,
the hard I want to make sure that they're hard
drives are okay, Yeah, I just want to make sugar.
(48:26):
It's weird to say sugar. Uh, listen, I'm not I'm
here to stand up for my own principles and do
things on my own volition, and I'm not hearing about
the bullies. So you're gonna say I'm weird, and I'm
gonna say no, I'm actually the boss, you know what.
I'm here to own my ship. So if I want
to go funk the Paul Walker bought and make sure
(48:48):
that he's okay. But that's what I'm gonna do. Okay,
I'm glad they were I'm glad they were aces. Yeah,
don't bother running the diagnostics. Every single human has been
destroyed at groundmands for the premiere, So it's just the
Box now, just throwing ship around, and I think we
pretty much know that something's wrong with him. Oh shoot,
(49:11):
so only the Box exists survived. Yeah, they just killed
George Pinocchio. He was the last one left on the
red carpet. So George Pinocchio. George Pinocchio, yep, Oh, I
love George Pinocchio. He's perfectly on the red carpet. But well,
(49:34):
so this is your whole George collection. Yeah, we'll take
me through it. What's what's going on? All right? So
I love First of all, let me just say this
real quick. I love George Pinocchio. Obviously. I love that guy. Okay,
here you see him in one of his most famous roles.
What is that where we're in the jacket, where you
(49:57):
go like, is he a good guy or a bad guy?
On over here? Little look, Terry cannot be honest with you. Sure,
what's up? I don't know George Pinocchio is? What I
don't know George Pinocchio is? I just wrote I Love
George Pinocchio all over this room and put a couple
of dolls up and a couple of you have thousand
(50:19):
pieces of memorabilia here? And what are these plaques signed
by him? As? Who is he? I can't answer that?
You got You gotta discover that on your own art.
One thing he's been in. Hey, you wanted to know
about George Pinocchio. I'm his brother, Greg Finocchio. Um, yeah,
thanks for meeting me. By the way, he's pretty much
(50:42):
just a throwaway reference. You really shouldn't have dedicated your
laugh to him. He just kind of worked for CBS affiliate,
does all the red carpet stuff, does like the stuff
from the oscars and stuff. To me like he's made
a pretty good living doing this. Yeah, yeah he has.
You know who hasn't me? Well, Hey, I'm buying the
cole Slaw. Thanks. If you see my family one a day,
(51:05):
George Pinocchio, You're gonna be a real boy, But right
now you're just a man of wood, a real one
to day. What did you say, George Pinocchio will be
a real one day. I'll be a real boy one day.
If you believe hard enough, you're gonna be real, and
(51:25):
you're gonna do interviews on the Reddit carpet. Oh, this
is a dream. Sometimes at night I pretend to interview
a figure our kid. Oh, George Pinocchio, Wait a minute,
why is your nose growing? Have you not interviewed the
figure on? No? I interview him every night. Tum tum,
(51:48):
tum tum. Okay, this is we need that doll CBS,
CVS jappet open the door. Okay, I just thought it
was that the people with a lower seat your CVS card.
Uh no, but can you do a phone number? Yes,
(52:12):
I can to do a phone number. What is it is? One? One?
Is it tool? Attention to all cvs? There is a
wild um. I guess it's just a trout. It's not
really I guess it's there's a trout somewhere loose within
the CVS. So, oh, hey, how you doing? Kids? And
(52:41):
Mike Trout from mitche League Baseball? Hell yeah, absolute death
and destruction At the Fast and Furious one hundred Premier.
We had acteroid bots absolutely murdering every single actor and
crew person who was their blood on Hollywood streets. Just
(53:02):
a little emotion. You're not a robot, you know, just people.
You're right, people, I'm not a robot. You're right. Nothing,
I'm not weaking. I mean nothing. It's water, I mean
and it's just funny. I helped build you and I
(53:24):
want to give you some sugar. Uh, thank you with
her up to Jackie Gonzalez, druthiy Hey, Cole, thank you
for having me. I'm at Jackie d Ruthie on on
(53:47):
the socials. I'm um, That's why I'm up to these days,
those socials. Oh love to the Wolf, thanks for being here.
Keep for having me. Chris Alvarado, Hey, yeah, man, I
don't know, just having fun. Love you guys. Thanks for
everybody for listening. We have a good time doing this.
(54:09):
Oh and somebody, one of our people who wrote in
asked if we were going to get back into the
studio anytime soon. I think that was a possibility for
a moment, but now it looks like the world is
shutting down kind of, so you know, we hope to
get back in there soon enough. Is that a good answer?
I don't know, Thank you, great answer. Craig Katkowski googling
(54:34):
George Finocchio. I tried and I misspelled George. That's the
dude that you see him on a million red carpet
things like he does the Oscar pre show and stuff.
He's pretty innoculous. Uh, James Deny, thanks for having me.
If you guys have the opportunity, check out game Front
(54:55):
on YouTube. It's YouTube, and then game Front you can
find it. Lots of video game footage up there with
me playing it. Nice Joey Greer, you know it. Check
out game Front and then when you got enough of that,
check out Alchemy this Instagram that's I'm at Cole Stratton
(55:16):
or at Stratton Cold, depending on Instagram or Twitter. Uh
to sketch Fest dot com see what our past videos
are there for rental. Let's thank our engineering producer Doug
Bame and the fine folks at iHeart Media dot com. Boom.
Please write to us at Alchemy this email at gmail
(55:37):
dot com. That's until next time. H
Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This I'm your guest.
That was cool scratting in for Kap This week, Let's
meet her alchemist Shally and no particular words say hello
to Chris Alvarado. Chris, you've been surfing a bunch during
all this. If you could go to surf anywhere, what
would that location? UM? Similar with small soft waves, probably
(00:26):
like Costa Rica here has that I'm not I'm not
in this sport cold to like test myself or push
the boundaries on myself physically. I want little baby waves
that just go on forever. Let's go to a lazy
river at some water park and yeah, that sounds good.
Next up it's James Heeney. Heeney, if you could revive,
(00:50):
reboot any old video game, what would it be? I
think it would be the video game Populus, which was
a lot of fun. You gathered civilizations and you played
as a god. I just think that they could. There
was a Populist too, which just wasn't very good. You know,
it needs to be revived in a good way. That's fair,
(01:11):
all right. Next up, Jackie Gonzalez to Ruthie. Jackie, if
you had to live without one of your senses, which
one would you give up? Oh that's really hard because
if you lose I need my side, I need my hearing.
But if you lose smell, you're gonna lose taste. So
(01:33):
I'm gonna go with touch. Okay, I'm gonna go with touch.
I'm gonna get to touch my gun to feel anything. Yeah.
I can still grip things, I just don't know their texture.
I just want to say, I spit my gum out
(01:53):
onto my dog. What an m night Shamalan twist from Jackie.
I did not expect that. I did not expect that.
I love that answer, though. Next up it's Craigkowski. Craig,
I heard you're opening up a new restaurant. What's the theme? Cool?
The theme is, uh is touch is lack of touche?
(02:17):
Oh my god? Uh, every all the textures that we're using. Uh,
you know, if you have your sense of touch, you're
not going to be able to discern uh what they
feel like. It's it's cutting edge, new technology. Uh. And
then all the you're we're going to blindfold people. We're
(02:39):
also going to play uh Norwegian death metal the whole time,
so you're you're hearing is kind of out of whack,
and you're just gonna be able to focus on the
taste and the smell. As Jackie said, those two senses
are related, so you're gonna come straight in the two
most important senses, Like you took one of those restaurants
in the dark and blew it the funk up. I
love it. Yeah, Yeah, Finally, Last, but not least, it's
(03:02):
Joey Greer Joey rumor has it you've been wearing a
Halloween costume the entire year. What is it? Rumor hasn't
um So the hall of the Halloween costume is it's
just on the feet and it's it's fake penguin. Feete, bingueno, bingueno.
(03:30):
Let's do it darn show, shall we? I said darn
instead of damn like I said to myself, Like we'll
say the F word a lot, But there we go.
All of our scene suggestions are gathered from listeners, emails,
or from our Patreon v I p s. To become
a Patreon supporter of the show and enjoy exclusive content
and other perks, just head on over to patreon dot
com slash Alchemy this if you'd like to submit a
(03:51):
scene suggestion, via email. Please write to the podcast at
our new email address, Alchemy this email at gmail dot com.
That's scene one is from Patreon v I P. Cory,
who wrote seene alert, we need to bring back Chris's
(04:11):
Stone character, the one with a goofy, weird laugh hilarious Stone.
Chris is shopping in a grocery store where in his
mind the advertising mascots, his mascot's the right word logo
brand characters come to life and are talking to him
and only him, Captain Crunch, Little Debbie and Jemima Popping Fresh.
You get the idea. Love you all, p s. Will
(04:32):
you guys eventually be heading back into the studio for
normal recordings anytime soon. Love you all. Yeah, so cereals here?
Do you have any other questions? Or uh? Okay, thank you?
Enjoy Ralph? Yeah, got shop. Pick me my friend, unless
(04:57):
you want to get attacked by the shoggy Come on,
I don't want the shogies to get you. Yeah. Put
me in a cart Hi, it's me the Puffin's Penguins,
Penguinouino pick does don't just make your urine smell like honey.
(05:23):
Get me in a cart ha. Put me in a cart.
Don't you want some healthy oats? Just some healthy oats.
Attention all customers, Attention, all customers. There is a wild
bobcat somewhere in Ralph's. You don't want to know healthy oats.
(05:49):
Put me in a cart, Come on my ear so
here that he says, the wild bobcast somewhere ross. What
the hell? That can't be real. That's that's you, guys.
Just calmed down. There's no bobcats and rol. Let's just
get out of here. Look, we don't even cut anymore.
(06:11):
Pobcat Goldthwayne. Yeah, I mean it's a real one, and
it's someone on the store right now. I'm pretty sure
they meant like a real bobcat. I don't think they
meant just like a They would never just announce the
celebrities existence. That's really Yeah. I'm not even really wild anymore.
I don't really talk like this anymore. Thing I put
(06:32):
on a long time ago. This is sickness. Good for
the turkey or oh yeah, how much turkey did you
do want? Sir? Attention Attention Ralph's customers, there is a
wild Bobcat in the store. Also, poly Shore is here,
Holy Ship, poly Shore's here, and here we are complaining
(06:57):
every day that nothing cool ever happens at this job.
I know we got a Bobcat and Poly short Bobcat
gold weight. Yeah, well he's working here, he's been working
for a while. That's kind of exciting. I guess on
the day that the actual Bobcat is here. And on
the day, can I get three pounds of for phudo? Buddy?
(07:18):
Oh look, god, Polly, I haven't seen you in years. Yeah, sorry,
here about missy. It's okay, buddy. Um, can I weet
some juice or something? We don't have juice to add
the storm. Come on, you can get me with berries.
(07:39):
You can get me with peanut butter. Put me in
the cart. I have this weird feeling that Poly Shore
and Bob Kat I don't know his last name is here,
and I gotta go explore that gold, gold weight, gold
thwait gold eight. Everyone's not in their head. It's not
(08:07):
don't listen to look. What I'm saying is I'll be
right back. I want to go explore this. Wait, okay, okay,
you can come with me. All right, all units, we're
heading over to Rouse right now in sixty three Birmingham.
We gotta lock that store down. There is a Bobcat
on premises. We gotta make sure we close that store.
Nobody in, nobody else. Wait, wait, you should let the
(08:27):
people out. We know that we're trying to trap an animal,
right the bobcat out dress. I'm just saying, get the
people safely out so that no one gets mall by
the right. Now, we don't know who's a person or
who's a bobcat dressed as a person. All right, so
we gotta go buy the book here. Nobody in, sorry,
nobody out. Sorge, Are we sure it's pronounced Ralph's What
do you mean? I always thought it was races, like
(08:49):
the actor Ray Finds. Oh my god, is that always
spells his name? Yeah? I thought it was Ray r
a Y. He thought his name was Ray find Charge.
I mean, come on, guys, come on, guys, all right,
we're going to races Ralphs. Let's just say rolpse row
until we alright, let's just go. Let's stay consist. We're
going by the book. It's to me, Hamburger Helper. I'm
(09:16):
a dirty glove. I'm a dirty girls. Oh do you
know Captain Crunch. Yes, I've been even met before the
time somebody stocked it wrong and put me in the serial.
It was a long time ago. You do know each other,
(09:38):
not not very well. Kiss each other. I'll make you
guys kiss each other. Don't do He's a nice alright,
Look where the cashier's right? We got a bean together
because I got a feeling that the guy damn butcher
section is going to rise if you try to kill you.
What that sounds like a real a pobcat. Yeah, it
(10:01):
might be the butchers trying to get in our head.
Now with a cashier. All right, you gotta stick together,
all right, now that we gotta do everything we can
to take over this Ralph's all right, this is us.
We can use the you know, the separators as kind
of like batons. Great kick some ass. That's great. You
(10:26):
didn't scan my you didn't scan my rouse card. Let's
get that for you here, thank you. Okay, this says
it is expired. What your Ralph's card is expired? Is
that a thing? It's me race race side? Oh my god, wait,
(10:50):
someone get on the p A. Someone's got to announce this.
Oh my god. We're not part of the announcing crew. Yeah,
that's on our job. And what the hell are you
part of the announcing crew. No attention Ralph's customers. Again,
there is a wild bobcat. Loosen the store. Uh, proceed
accordingly if you need to get your shopping done. We
understand that there is a podcat in the store. Also,
(11:12):
Actor Ralph finds is here. Oh I know the ship.
I owned the place, and they still refused to call
me by my name. Race here. Kitty, kitty kitty, Oh
you slaw me? What do you want? Milk? Milk, kitty
(11:34):
kidd milk? Do you want to see these two guys kiss?
That would be fun? Okay, Julian, I don't know how
long we can hold up in the goddamn manager's office. Alright,
but we gotta do something, and we gotta do something now,
all right, you keep on telling everyone they find us here.
Oh shoot, I hear it. We gotta do something. Maybe
(11:55):
maybe we should just maybe we should just kill each other,
just end it, kill each other. Julian, Yes, yes, maybe
maybe maybe. I don't know. I don't know. I mean,
I mean, worst case scenario, we die from the podcat.
But that worst gonna die, That that that the worst
case comes through, the worst case that happens, Julian, is
(12:18):
that bobcat burrows into our chest cavity and then put
his arms where arms are, legs where our legs are,
and it walks around in a human sense. Attention. Um,
nobody needs to worry about anything, because I got my
friends on the job, and we're gonna take care of
(12:39):
this cat situation. Everybody, we got a man on the inside,
all right. I heard that the p A that there's
someone on the inside that's gonna be able to take
care of this situation. So we gotta get every equipment,
every piece we can to our inside man. You understand,
Everybody saying hello to the Keebler. Else anyway, say hello
(13:02):
to the Jolly green Giant d Everybody say hello to
who else is here? Who else? I'm the Brownie and Lumberjack.
Oh you tell me. These are the most up to
(13:24):
date schematics we have on the building. This is no
I mean, this is what it gave me. I I
don't know if it's Let's use what we got people,
all right, let's look at here. So we got the
air events. Definitely, we cannot put a little robot in there.
What else? What else can we do here? I think
we can enter the store through the doors they haven't
(13:46):
locked it down and then have a Bobcat rip your
face off. Well, there's a lot of living people in there. Still,
I'm feeling that in fear go popping people in the
head to make sure we shot the bobcatsutely. No, absolutely not.
I mean I would never advocate for that. That's that's
really I look, glare, it is just looking at the
(14:10):
bar's head, meats. Let me see if the reason with it,
how house the mountains you enjoy being there? Is there is?
Shoot the bobcat shot. Oh no, we did it, We
(14:35):
did it. We got him, serge, damn right, we did,
damn right, we did. Oh my gosh, I'm might I
take a seat? Is that plight to give me that? Oh?
I'm feeling good in the neighborhood. Did you guys just
kill cat gold Gold? We killed the bobcat gold for
(14:59):
me badness right now? Eyes That guy's suffering reef for madness.
Gold's weight wait goldthwait gold Weight. You're saying it it's
a pretty straightforward name. No, No, it's not. No, it's
not goldweight Goldwit's not straightforward. It's a name. And there's
(15:23):
a kid behind you looks like the Feds took out
the butcher section, so we should just get the hell
out of here. Now they're taking care of what's happening.
It's happening, all right, y'all. Listen, we gotta do you
gotta be organized here, okay, how we gotta stay together?
And we got a former new society? Is mine? Ringing
me up from my altoy so I can get back
a set of course. Do you have a Rolph scar?
(15:46):
Oh my god, okay, captain, Captain, I need you now,
Oh Lucky charm lepricn I need you now, great, Tiger,
I need you now. It's Tony. It's to Tony, this tiger.
(16:07):
And what do you say? Great? I mean you were
right there, but it is. My name is Tony. It's
not great. That's just my just geeto. Yeah, but you're
a weird dude. You're grows. He's sexually charged. Yeah, you're
sexually just rubbing my hips. So he's doing he does
(16:31):
a lot of bog rolls. And there's what just what
dude doing squats and doing hip extensions? What's going on?
That was going on? It's not that funny. That was
(16:54):
who's who's that? It was a quaker quick roots. Okay,
all right, all right, enough fucking around, Let's go kill
this cat. What the hell? No, no, no, no, no,
you can't kill me. I look big, but I'm actually
to scale. I'm quite small. If we're gonna kill a cat,
(17:16):
but we killed Tony the Tiger. Huh, he's a predator.
That's a predator cat. Hey, I'm in terms of an
apex predator. Yeah, I'm an apex predator, but I'm not.
I'm not. I'm not here to get you. If anything,
if we were to fight, you might win because I'm
a n't. He's a different that cheetah. You're an ambush predator.
(17:40):
I'm I'm just like. I'm a fear. I'm a fierce.
Ye're just a straight up killer. You should have killed
I'm just like I feel like I am. I on
the am, I on the judgment here am I should
be Tony the Tagger? Are you a fireman? And my hip,
sir hip, are you a fireman? I'm I gotta be
(18:02):
honest with you, sir, I am whoa. I'm kind of
sobering up by well. I smoked a lot of weed
and eates medicals this morning, and I feel like I've
been having a conversation in this serial aisle for hours
and hours? Can you confirm or deny that? Okay, yeah,
I know it's a uh it's a race. But yeah,
(18:25):
it's four am and you're pretty much the only customer here.
We uh we got rid of the the Bobcat hours ago.
Is everyone okay? Yeah? The director of Shakes the clown
got a couple of bullets to the head. But and
that's the number one. Oh sorry, Bob Cat, no buddy
(18:52):
c Number two is from listener Yan, who wrote, I
recently watched the brilliant seventies oz flaitation horror flick Wake,
Wake and Fright, and was inspired to request a scene.
How about a grizzled private eye stranded and broke in
out back Australia, trying to find some local mysteries to
solved to earn enough cash for a plane ticket back home.
(19:13):
Keep malcomizing and don't play with it. It'll fall off.
Love from you in true blue strand easy to be, am,
I what you'll be And my I wasn't even saving you.
You've had enough to drink. I'll have the beer. Will
(19:34):
you give me a little keys? This tastes like piss
is a basic. Gonna get a read of em. And
what's up with the trench. It's too off of that
out of here back, it's a uniform for work. Fuco.
Would you call me fuck? I'll bet you a packing fight,
sing mite, get big. Any kangaroo's naws your vines, naws
(19:57):
it my bones. Listen, I'm not afraid of a kangaroo. No,
you don't know. I come from Brooklyn. I come from Chicago.
I come from a lot of really big, tough places
come from anybody's seen my daughter. My daughter, she's been
(20:21):
going for a long torn just give it up. I'll
keep going around every day and then let me see
that flyer. How long has she been missing? Seven years? Mate?
Seven years? Well, I think, uh, I think I can
take this. I'm kind of the I'm from like San
(20:42):
Francisco and like big cities, and I solve big crimes
and big cities. And I haven't seen anything worth my
time out here. They said he's like Adelaide. I never
heard of it. Big cities like Houston Coast. Tell you
what if you found my daughter, I'll give view a
Fosters and a Waltz and Matilda. I don't know what
(21:04):
the hell of Walton Matilda is. But I don't like Bosters.
I guess that's Australian for beer. I don't like it.
It's not good all right? How about money? Then money
is perfect. I need to get a flight back to
the USA where the big cities are. All right, Well,
you fond me daughter, I'll give you a spare their long.
(21:25):
I need Deity, big dty. You know that can't be
me that you're talking about. You. You know I got
a good eye. We can probably find your daughter. And
I won't like a bier. You won't give me a
(21:46):
little bier, and I'm gonna give me a beer, all right?
Who even had enough? I knew how to not well
a case that I was just gonna suggest the same
god damn thing. I don't know this country very well.
(22:08):
But Nicole Kitman I think she does. It's kid to me,
not Kitman. Yeah. Well, you guys all talk weird to
me too. Okay, So if you're gonna handle busness, you can.
If they order another beer game day beaches, here they're
boy another beer. Wake up, Darling. Today's our seven year anniversary, Keith,
(22:37):
and I got you a little something? Can I open it?
Now open it, open it here going yeah, that's a
lot of gold. It's just straight up gold coins and
bars and bars. Thank you. I guess I was trying
(23:02):
to do like like a treasure theme for the seven
year it's really thank you. I'm sorry that I wasn't
so excited. Really, I like this. This is what every
woman wants, is just a sun of gold, but not jewelry.
(23:22):
I think we've had our time, so I'm gonna lock
the door again. Okay, but but I'm thinking tonight it
might be some mashed potatoes. If you're good, I love you,
sugar goo chicken, pretty wild. Here's the address of world
I saw seven years ago, and he be of a
(23:45):
favorite movie Dot and the Kangaroo on DVD. That should
help you, did I? Goodluck? H Come on, kitman, let's go.
Keep mean, that's what I said. Okay, let's go. All right,
you're driving, I'm still drunk, alright, fine, but I don't
know how to drive. What side of the road do
(24:06):
you guys drive on? Here? The right side? Well, I
call it the wrong side, all right. So let's see here.
All right, So this is just a regular old street address.
You know, I've solved many mysteries before. No ways, a
little bit of what I did back home in America.
(24:28):
I act and in back home. But yeah, this is
me solving things. This is solving thanks. Okay, my mistake,
my mistake. All right, Well, where's your guy to say?
Did Ding Ding? Hey Joe? How's it going? Okay, not
(24:49):
saying much, Lesten. I want a couple of potatoes. I'm
making some of the misses some mashed potatoes. Big special
day today. Oh he's look good and he's russet. Okay, great,
all right, I think that I'll do it up up butter.
I need some butter, and get some butter real quick, okay,
(25:13):
and I'll think this all right, Hey, Joe, put it
on my taboo. Yeah, Ding's pretty well has he had
his whole a poblem and stayed up as just like
all these people he's abducted like a little town, you
know what I mean? Yeah, when you get gold, you know,
I don't really get that many prisons. Sorry, yeah you know, yeah,
(25:36):
but gold. But then, but do you know where he
makes me work? In our tiny town you know, abduction town?
Yeah I know that. Yeah, No, I mean I'm at innuitation,
so working in sewage. I'm working in sewage management. That's
all I do. Yeah, yea, in the management. I'm seeing ittation.
I'm saying I'm actually doing this ship job. You know,
(25:56):
so your sewage management. All right, you complaining in the
middle like I mean, it's just years ding dinging. Hey
there's Steve just here to mel a letter ahead and
take the layer. Oh you know what, let me get
a book of stamps too, great, thank you, thank you. Okay,
(26:20):
have a good day. Understand you're a minager, I said, Well,
I mean only been here for three years. I've been
here for seven years, and Steen Harkin and Tom put In.
But I'm saying I'm actually dealing with the toy a
fake tem sheeps sheet. Well, I have to deal with
this scenitation. I mean only wanting DJing. Oh hey there, Stevie,
I here to pick up my suit at the dry cleaners.
(26:43):
G sup, Okay, let me see you got the start rides?
All right? I couldn't solve it, do you difficult? Then? No,
it's not that I can't solve it. It's just well,
(27:04):
I go to this property in this address, and it's
got a big wall in front of it, and it
seems like it's a giant property. Nobody's answering the door. Honestly,
he he barely even troyed. And I actually have to
get back to the States because I'm starting to film tomorrow.
So good luck with just having this one, because he's
he's already thrown in the towel after very thrown in
(27:27):
the towel. It's just nobody's answering that I pushed the
button at the gate. That nobody answers. Have you tried
scaling the gate given that a shot? No? No, I haven't.
Now to back of scale it all right, all right,
(27:50):
ing ing, hello, hello, hello, oh ei there. Oh yeah,
you can tell by the accent. Uh you sound you
sound American too? Uh you got me as you can
(28:11):
see by this trench coat. I'm a detective. Oh nice.
Well what can I do? What can I do for you? Well?
This uh part of America? Are you from? Well, I'm
from big cities. I'm from places like Detroit. I'm from
places like uh Peoria, I'm from places like Peoria. Yeah, Peoria.
(28:38):
So we're gonna do for you. Well, there's this is
a DVD case. Where did I put that photo? Ah? Well,
I'm looking for someone who loves this movie here Dotty
in the Kangaroo Jesus, I can't even reade. Uh, I
don't know what the hell are you talking about? But wait,
(28:58):
I've been trying to get ahold of who lives here
for a while. Town. I don't just live here. I
mean you can go to my neighbors. That's Rob and
Janis are over there, and uh, maybe we want to
grab yourself a bite. The diner is delicious, you know,
let make good sandwiches. Um, you know, maybe ask ground
see if maybe you'll find something. Yeah, so I'll just
go to the restaurant over there. Sure have fun, all right,
(29:22):
thank you? Get the cold slaw, trust me? Okay, I will,
I will ding ding dingy, Table for one, table for one?
All right, this yef? First time in abduction town? In
(29:42):
what abduction town? I guess? So yeah, I'm oh, there
it is. It was in my wallet. Have you seen
this woman? He's not here anymore? Before I help on
my PJ. Do you think I'm funny? I think you're finny, right,
(30:10):
funny enough for right they just get to be a
get out of it. But be honest, first of all,
I'm gonna thinking you for more vis and you've been
refusing me. So don't come over here and tell me
to get a beer and get out of here. Thinking
of all, you think I'm I'm funny, because what do
(30:32):
you want today? Well, I want to be coming. I
want to see if I can dip my toes in
the comedic scenes because you know, I'm supposed to be
playing Lucy Lucy your ball. And a lot of people
are like, I don't think that she can, And I'm like,
first of all, her entire life isn't funny, but sure
I can. I can chuck it up for a couple
of a couple of takes, don't you think? I mean?
(30:55):
I think they're expecting an individual who can portray the
kind of character he's labor day in their whole life.
You know what I mean? Right, So, so you think
I'm funny? Now, I didn't say that. I'm just saying
the character has been in it. There's expectation, right, the
years are gonna be a lot of hot ships. We
don't know that it's tragic, but in solid that there's
a core of humor. It's trans lighted through the kir
(31:19):
So you just had lunch and he came back. It was.
I mean, I guess, Uh, the problem is is nobody's
ever seen this. I think maybe you need a newer picture.
How would I have that? Okay, so this is abduction tony, Okay, great,
(31:41):
So we just came to this dinner. We here, we
heard some like fantastic things. Uh we were saw How
did you how did you hear it about us? I
was on Yelp and then trip Advisor also recommended abduction dinner. Yes,
so I like the coleslaw and okay that dessert. But
it's it's pretty much what we have. You only have
(32:03):
col Yeah, we've mr We've all been aducted. It's it's
it's an American. Look you, he's abducted all of us
and Nicole. Kidman kind of floats in and out of
this town. His name is Keith, not not Keith. I
get it. I get it because he has an American X.
(32:25):
I get it. So you just don't want to service.
That's what's going on. No, no, no, what big held hostage?
You know what? So am I? This town is called
abduction town? So him, I'm being held hostage here with
bad service? How did you get here? How did you
even find out about this place? There's a there's this
single bar in the outback okay that has WiFi. We
went there. I want a trip Advisor Hot places to go,
(32:48):
and it popped up Abduction Town, so I came over here. Okay,
well it's hot because every day it's like forty degrees.
It's not forty degrees. It's way harderan that. It's like
a hundred or something. No celsius, not farenheight. I'm saying
full to degreas well. Thanks for trying. Here's your walks in.
Matilda has promised walk same matud walk, same part of me. Yea,
(33:17):
I'll take a beer please, all right, I don't got
one car and a ticst like peace. That's fine, thank you?
Oh you're that uh oh yeah yeah, yea yeah. I
loved it. I I yelped that that restaurant was fantastic.
Great as you had a waltzon Matilda over here. I
(33:42):
had no. Oh yeah, that was a great I did
not like it tasted like this. M hey, I found
that picture. I found the Picturestler for do you know
this is you know who? This is what I mean?
It's it's an old picture. It's got to be seven
(34:02):
eight years old. Do you know who this is? Think
you look at that careful with it. That's the only
one I got, Okay, I mean she looks a little familiar.
I don't know. Oh that's what I thought. She looks
a little familiar to me too. Oh really, where where
might you know her from? I don't know where I
would know her from. I'm not from around here. I'm
(34:22):
just a little similar to you, like you've probably seen
her before. Well, yeah, it's a little picture. So the
problem is if it was a big picture or a
new picture, I think I could know better. But this
is as it stands right now. You might you might
know her? Baby? Do you know her? I guess? Uh? He'
isn't that logic? Maybe? No? Anyway, all right, well, I'm
(34:44):
gonna head back to abduction town. You gotta pipe for
the BM No, thank you, no, thank you? I guess.
Let me tell you, sweet, It's okay, buddy. I listened
to me right now, you know what? Everyone say it
a lot. We're going to these blocks hails, and we're
gonna take exactly one on night for this b right, everyone,
what are you doing? What you mean? What am I doing? Mate?
You didn't want to pay me to be. It's the
(35:05):
only bloody bar in town, the only one with WiFi,
and I pay that WiFi buil with the beer money.
All right, now, let's go open, let's go and we're here. Okay,
what do you okay? What did you want? Now? I
want to say, first off, very very fantistic conversation on
the right here, all right, judge before I even met right,
(35:28):
but this is my it's all a little town. Oh yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah, come on, come on, I'm like the unofficial
mayor here, Jenism, I don't even seen you. Teeny's what
are you doing? You know? Robin Janis and that one there,
that's Rob Janis? What you need? What do you do?
(35:50):
It all been abducted. He's abducted us. What is this?
How my good? Are you free? Now? Yeah? I want
duc to you. No you're not. That's not worked. Wait
in a second, it smells like ship around here. What's
my sewage manager? My sewage worker? What the hell? What's
going on? Rob? What I mean? Because it's not it's
(36:12):
the way that you would exactly what you're getting routins.
I'm sorry. Second, excuse me, excuse me, Hold on one second,
I've got it. I'm sorry for just barging into this cell.
But you look similar to this picture. Let me see
that picture. Careful with that. It's the only one I
(36:32):
have look similar. This is me, this is yeah, this
is want that. That's embarrassing. I don't even years ago
as a child, and then come on from eight years
old to fifteen years old. It's a big deferense. Oh
you're fifteen years old. Okay, well you see. I'm sorry,
(36:56):
I'm sorry, you know what. This is embarrassing, but I've
been hid to find you. I'm I don't know if
you could tell, but I'm an American. Yeah, I can
hear your voice. So you just left her there. I
should have gone with you, draining my fault. And that's
(37:19):
our sex scene. Everybody c three from Patrion v I
P David to Joe Hoo who simply room another scene suggestion.
We are at the glamorous premiere of Fast and Furious
one David w double vax and happily naked from the
(37:39):
chin up in Boston. Thank you so much. That was amazing.
I can't believe the interviews were getting here and everyone
watching live. I just want to say that the amount
of celebrities is in calculate. There are everybody is here,
from everyone from the very first we have obviously we're
gonna have the DNA bril bots coming through with all
(37:59):
the actors from the very first one that can't be here,
as well as all the new actors from every single
Fast and Furious celebrating the one hundred movie within the franchise.
This is fantastic, Bruce, what's going on in your side
of the carpet? Well, it's uh, I feel like all
the A listers are coming down your carpet over there.
(38:21):
I got a couple of the key grips from the
seventeenth film, and there's the Best Boy, there's the Best
Boy from thirty four. But can you stop? You can't stop,
You can't stop, you can't stop right now? He's maybe
you should just stay on your side of the carpet.
Uh I just there's really nobody coming up. Here's a
couple of there's the there's the guy that Mike up
(38:42):
Paul Walker in the and in Tokyo Drift. Uh do
you have a minute to stop a Bruce? Paul Walker
was not in Tokyo Drift. I'm gonna cut you off
right there, Okay, let's just uh, let's let's move on
over to Christen. What's going on here? Oh? Just speaking
(39:02):
of you, Mr Walker, how are you? We have you
in robot form, now, how are you? I am good,
so happy for Fast and Furious with me as well,
me as swell, so uh what what do you say
as well? Oh? My gosh, we are excited to see
(39:25):
you in this movie. I can't wait to see what's
gonna happen. I just watched it. It's amazing. Wow, you
got an early screening, No, you mentioned it. I watched
it in that in two seconds and it's great, amazing, amazing. Well,
I can't wait to watch it for the next four hours.
So that's how long the runtime is. And I'm very,
(39:48):
very excited. Anything you want to say to the fans
across the world, Hey, Fast and Furious fans, I'm just
as good as I've ever been fans. Um, excuse me,
I I think there's been an error in one of
(40:10):
the robots. One of the bots. One of the bots.
Excuse me, excuse me? Yeah, you know not to call
a bots. I know, I know, it's just I don't
call him bots. Okay, Wealthy the mechanical Beings the actoids, actoids, okay, whatever,
whatever you want to call them. I think there's about yeah,
(40:32):
whatever I want to call it by the one who
invented deub. You guys do a great job. Typically there's
just a mechanic. I mean, he does a lot of
the screwing in and all. He did a lot of
the actually assembly. But I'm the one. I'm the one
who's suspicious that some of these uh actor robotics actrobotics.
(40:55):
I'm concerned to actorroids. Yeah, you know, movies about family
first of varmos, it's about family, you know, the family
you have, and coronas and uh driving, it's mostly what
this one's about. Huh. So you can just drop me
(41:16):
off over there and then I'll be able to find
you want me to. It's me Rick Rick Diesel. Okay, Mr,
it's it's it's Rick Vincent. But I changed my name
Rick Diesel like my brother, did you know. Yeah? Yeah,
So just right over there and then I'll be able
to pop out. That's cabs only I can't stop there, manuver. Okay,
(41:42):
so's gonna happen. Okay, so we're going around again. This
is the third time we've got just drop me off
wherever so I can get out. I gotta make this
goddamn premiere. Do you have a plus one? Yes? I
have a plus one, but I'm waiting on somebody. Can
I can I be a buzz one? Did you hear
what I said? I'm waiting on. So okay, do do
(42:02):
do do do do do do do do? Hold on
a second do Hey, dude, I am out for tonight.
So are you serious? Yeah? You get infected? A shots
shuts shuts shut, all right. I gotta get going, man,
What do I just read you? What do I gotta
get going from? What? Dude? Fuck you? Oh? My fucking god, dude,
(42:25):
he always does this ship? God damn it, God damn it.
You can't they cancel? Okay? Can I come? You want to?
You know what? Sure? Sure? You know really really grinds
my gears. We worked really hard, and we're the heart
(42:45):
and soul of the of this whole freaking operation, and
then these p a s think that they could just
come in here, tell us how to do our job,
tell us that we're not doing it right. You're a
really good person. Yeah, I have principles that I stand
up for them. You have beautiful hair. Thanks. Do you
(43:07):
ever think maybe you could have a relationship with an acteroid?
You know, I I've doubted, you know, I actually doubted. Yeah.
We're not supposed to make any of living actors, um technically,
but what happens behind closed doors is what happens behind
(43:27):
closed doors. Um, one of George Clutey's male male baby twin.
You know, George Clutey had twins and one of them
was a male, and that's the one I I think
they've outsander. I just call him, I just call him pooky.
So yeah, cool, Yeah, So do you think maybe we
(43:50):
should um have been concerned with that guy in here?
We gotta check out that signal for the acteroids? All right?
I hope that you just said Greeks because we're both
preak descent. Yeah, I said freaks. All right, alright, running
dyagnostics in two. You don't need to do that. What
someone calls you a freak, own your power, be your
(44:12):
own person. Don't let anyone just step all over you.
You have beautiful eyes. No, okay, um a bobcat By
it was happy to answer your questions. Awesome. So, uh,
you know you've directed so many movies, so so many movies.
(44:35):
And now you're directing the hundred fast and furious. Congratulations. Thanks,
you know trajects. My career was taken after I died. Yeah,
is I hope you must destroyed? So you don't think
(45:03):
it's worth taking a second to run the diagnostics on
all the acteroids. I think you need to do it
on your own of court, not because some some FuG
cavid here it called you a freak. You know, like,
if you feel it in your own ownness, then you
should do it. But you shouldn't bow to the bullies.
That's where I stand. Maybe you could go in there
(45:24):
and ask the nicer to run the diagnostics. I mean,
people are dying out here. What are you talking about?
I know that there are so you ever seen how
they act around the acteroids. I'm sure they just go
in there and just give them some respect because they
kind of got a lot of power in some respect.
It's just weird. Is disturbing the way to it, even
if you gotta take it just for five maybe I
(45:46):
know they're killing everyone. They're killing everyone. Camera two, go
to camera six. Oh my god, no record all this record.
This is amazing, this is perfect for life. To no, no, no, no,
this is for us and Paul Walker and Tucker. Oh
my god, all right, we gotta stream this immediately. Okay,
this is all right. You know what. I feel good,
(46:08):
I feel empowered. I'm gonna make this decision. I'm gonna
run some diagnostics. Here we go. You go for it.
If you're gonna do that, then I'm gonna get out
on the floor because you know, if they're having issues,
they might need a little sugar help, a little help.
They might need a little help. Yeah, a little, a little.
I mean, have you seen the Paul Walker I made
(46:30):
the left? Okay, yeah, this is it, this is shots.
We're gonna go in there and we're gonna tell my
buddy he's a piece of ship. Okay, man, okay, I
really kind of wanted to go in the movie that
my brother's in. But yeah, we'll get just you can
see it on you can see it on shots. Shut
shut shut. Love the choices I've made tonight, choices I've
(46:51):
made tonight. You gotta pay for what you did, because
you know, life is all about family. Because are you?
This is Vince Kully? Oh like all my fist, the
golden fist breaking my head shot. Shot tell you what, man?
(47:12):
Let's do shots. Whoever does more shots gets the papers
of the other one's car. I'm totally gonna win this
love shot. You have to know he has an oversized liver.
He actually can take more shots to me. Yeah, you
don't know that. You don't know about my family history.
(47:34):
I guess you're right. Original last name before we moved
to America was Yeagermeister. I get this deer hunter. All right,
here we go, he go west. Oh, let me get
one more, one more shot. Oh my god, he's a
(48:03):
but he's but oh my god, about this whole time.
But but but but when you meant sugar, you meant
like checking on, like they're like the hard drives and stuff. Yeah,
the hard I want to make sure that they're hard
drives are okay, Yeah, I just want to make sugar.
(48:26):
It's weird to say sugar. Uh, listen, I'm not I'm
here to stand up for my own principles and do
things on my own volition, and I'm not hearing about
the bullies. So you're gonna say I'm weird, and I'm
gonna say no, I'm actually the boss, you know what.
I'm here to own my ship. So if I want
to go funk the Paul Walker bought and make sure
(48:48):
that he's okay. But that's what I'm gonna do. Okay,
I'm glad they were I'm glad they were aces. Yeah,
don't bother running the diagnostics. Every single human has been
destroyed at groundmands for the premiere, So it's just the
Box now, just throwing ship around, and I think we
pretty much know that something's wrong with him. Oh shoot,
(49:11):
so only the Box exists survived. Yeah, they just killed
George Pinocchio. He was the last one left on the
red carpet. So George Pinocchio. George Pinocchio, yep, Oh, I
love George Pinocchio. He's perfectly on the red carpet. But well,
(49:34):
so this is your whole George collection. Yeah, we'll take
me through it. What's what's going on? All right? So
I love First of all, let me just say this
real quick. I love George Pinocchio. Obviously. I love that guy. Okay,
here you see him in one of his most famous roles.
What is that where we're in the jacket, where you
(49:57):
go like, is he a good guy or a bad guy?
On over here? Little look, Terry cannot be honest with you. Sure,
what's up? I don't know George Pinocchio is? What I
don't know George Pinocchio is? I just wrote I Love
George Pinocchio all over this room and put a couple
of dolls up and a couple of you have thousand
(50:19):
pieces of memorabilia here? And what are these plaques signed
by him? As? Who is he? I can't answer that?
You got You gotta discover that on your own art.
One thing he's been in. Hey, you wanted to know
about George Pinocchio. I'm his brother, Greg Finocchio. Um, yeah,
thanks for meeting me. By the way, he's pretty much
(50:42):
just a throwaway reference. You really shouldn't have dedicated your
laugh to him. He just kind of worked for CBS affiliate,
does all the red carpet stuff, does like the stuff
from the oscars and stuff. To me like he's made
a pretty good living doing this. Yeah, yeah he has.
You know who hasn't me? Well, Hey, I'm buying the
cole Slaw. Thanks. If you see my family one a day,
(51:05):
George Pinocchio, You're gonna be a real boy, But right
now you're just a man of wood, a real one
to day. What did you say, George Pinocchio will be
a real one day. I'll be a real boy one day.
If you believe hard enough, you're gonna be real, and
(51:25):
you're gonna do interviews on the Reddit carpet. Oh, this
is a dream. Sometimes at night I pretend to interview
a figure our kid. Oh, George Pinocchio, Wait a minute,
why is your nose growing? Have you not interviewed the
figure on? No? I interview him every night. Tum tum,
(51:48):
tum tum. Okay, this is we need that doll CBS,
CVS jappet open the door. Okay, I just thought it
was that the people with a lower seat your CVS card.
Uh no, but can you do a phone number? Yes,
(52:12):
I can to do a phone number. What is it is? One? One?
Is it tool? Attention to all cvs? There is a
wild um. I guess it's just a trout. It's not
really I guess it's there's a trout somewhere loose within
the CVS. So, oh, hey, how you doing? Kids? And
(52:41):
Mike Trout from mitche League Baseball? Hell yeah, absolute death
and destruction At the Fast and Furious one hundred Premier.
We had acteroid bots absolutely murdering every single actor and
crew person who was their blood on Hollywood streets. Just
(53:02):
a little emotion. You're not a robot, you know, just people.
You're right, people, I'm not a robot. You're right. Nothing,
I'm not weaking. I mean nothing. It's water, I mean
and it's just funny. I helped build you and I
(53:24):
want to give you some sugar. Uh, thank you with
her up to Jackie Gonzalez, druthiy Hey, Cole, thank you
for having me. I'm at Jackie d Ruthie on on
(53:47):
the socials. I'm um, That's why I'm up to these days,
those socials. Oh love to the Wolf, thanks for being here.
Keep for having me. Chris Alvarado, Hey, yeah, man, I
don't know, just having fun. Love you guys. Thanks for
everybody for listening. We have a good time doing this.
(54:09):
Oh and somebody, one of our people who wrote in
asked if we were going to get back into the
studio anytime soon. I think that was a possibility for
a moment, but now it looks like the world is
shutting down kind of, so you know, we hope to
get back in there soon enough. Is that a good answer?
I don't know, Thank you, great answer. Craig Katkowski googling
(54:34):
George Finocchio. I tried and I misspelled George. That's the
dude that you see him on a million red carpet
things like he does the Oscar pre show and stuff.
He's pretty innoculous. Uh, James Deny, thanks for having me.
If you guys have the opportunity, check out game Front
(54:55):
on YouTube. It's YouTube, and then game Front you can
find it. Lots of video game footage up there with
me playing it. Nice Joey Greer, you know it. Check
out game Front and then when you got enough of that,
check out Alchemy this Instagram that's I'm at Cole Stratton
(55:16):
or at Stratton Cold, depending on Instagram or Twitter. Uh
to sketch Fest dot com see what our past videos
are there for rental. Let's thank our engineering producer Doug
Bame and the fine folks at iHeart Media dot com. Boom.
Please write to us at Alchemy this email at gmail
(55:37):
dot com. That's until next time. H
Alchemy This News
Host
Kevin Pollak
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