After sharing what they remember last, complete strangers realize they’re alien abductees in space… Dogs at a shelter make plans to escape… The return of Marvin McKuen offers insights of his past as well as his ability as a waiter.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, lovely listeners. Kevin Pollock here, just letting you know
the next live show for Alchemy. This will be on
July one, seven pm West Side Comedy Theater. If you're
in the Santa Monica, California area, or anywhere near it
July one, please come join us. Tickets to go fast
as I did last time. We'd love to see you there.
Go to west Side Comedy dot com for more. Welcome
(00:23):
back to another episode ab Alchemy. This. I'm yours, Kevin back. Yes,
that's Kevin Pollock. What's that? Well? I don't care what
the sign on the front gate says. Drifters are no
longer welcome in my home. But I digress. So I'm
so very happy to be back in the saddle and
welcome you all to another episode out Alchemy. Then let's
meet today's Alchemists, shall we? In no particular orders, say
(00:45):
hello to James Heeny, Jamie Lanister, the Heat. If you
could only consume one meal hereafter, what would it be? Pizza?
That's correct? Hey there, Vanessa Raglan. But if you could
change eleven things about Joey Greer, what's the seventh thing
you would change? Finger link to Gret reach for the
(01:08):
Skag Partners. It's Greigowski crick Ow. How do you spell relief?
Can you spot me? Three letters? F A R. There
we got a winner. No more calls, pencils down? What
the hell? It's Joey Greer Joe Solo. You gotta pee
(01:30):
lyon down. What's your favorite cereal? And why? Oh? Probably
uh Crispy Gees. Yeah, and uh it's a little concoction.
I've been working at myself, so it's a personal favor. Okay,
that's that's not the answer I had written. I'm sorry.
So I see that finger things weird. It's natural. I
(01:50):
will ever look at again. And last, but eat my
sadness if you think ear last, it's Carla Koski Carlina Loup.
What is the best part of waking up? Eating a banana?
So happily, Mary, no problem with my finger link o
(02:15):
my goodness. First five, Hey, I want to ask real
quick before I get we get to our first team,
which we would normally do at this point, how was
the live show May seventh? That I was only there
in spirit? It was super fun. Yeah, yeah, we had
a great time. It looks great on camera. I know
you've never seen you. I threw in some video intros,
(02:40):
all my speak stuff. I wasn't able to participate, but
we've we've brought in a Ringer madman, Uh who you know. Uh.
It was an experiment to throw in someone that's that
much of a live wire, and I felt like, if
you guys could get past his energy in the dressing
room for the show, everything was going to be fine. Yeah. Yeah,
(03:03):
we survived. Oh yes, some Amazon fish and then we
just went right into the show. I couldn't tell if
it was real or a bit, but in general, I
can't tell if he's real horrible. Yeah, yeah, he's a
true delighting. We were very lucky to have him with us,
and I'm glad to hear that you guys all had fun,
(03:24):
super fun. All right, and thanks to everyone who came
out to the live show on May seventh at the
Dynasy Typewriter Theater. Go to Dynasty Typewriter dot com for calendars.
Yeah sure, why not any calendar, elementary calendar calendars over
at the Dynasty. Let's get there our first scene as usual,
I'll day suggestions were gathered from your listener emails. If
(03:48):
you'd like to submit yours, please write to the podcast
your name here at alchemy this dot com. That's your
name here at alchemy this dot com. Our first scene
comes from Eric, who wrote, Hey, guys, how about a
scene where the Alchemists wake up in a room together
as total strangers with no idea where they are, and
then slowly realized they're on a spaceship having been abducted
(04:09):
by alien ps. Vanessa is a babe. That's also part
of the suggestion. Okay, okay, I'll take that. That's from
Eric coal Hoffer. You Vanessa coal Hafer. Oh what the fuck?
(04:39):
A right close? Very close? Who are you? Man? Who
are you? Where are you? Man? I don't know, I
can't remember. Why don't have slime in my belly button?
This is pans were ring? Colm? We fetched four moments
(05:03):
like that? What was that? Ny? It's like true lies
any of you guys? Johnnie's done? I can't remember my name.
I need a banana? Where's my banana? Someone thing? Where
(05:24):
are we? Can you get your long fingers out of me? Sorry?
Oh my gosh, what's happening? Last thing I remember was
I was enjoying a glass of red wine at home
and I was watching n C. I s what kind
of red wine. Oh yeah, guy, lets, I don't know
(05:44):
if I'm a mar Low guy. I just that's just
what I happened to be. We don't know you, man,
We don't know when the last night is hanging out?
Do you have a lot of friends? I have? At
least he and Dannie and I. We're talking about breathing pugs.
(06:04):
That's the last thing. I oh. No, Well, you're gonna
make him fell in love at very least you have
nine friends left. Do you think Johnny's dead? No, I'm
hard thing to throw at somebody. You don't even know
that breathe Stop calling me. We're logo? Does man? You
(06:27):
want to remember how you got in here? Last thing?
I remember, I was driving my forward one down. It's
not a board that okay. It was a four by four,
fully stocked, fully stocked. It wasn't it was fully stocked. Okay.
Suspensions are premo if you never drove in a fantastic
(06:50):
the steering handles like a dream. So you're an English teacher.
I'm not an English teacher, thank you very much. What
do you do teaching math? My f one fifties nuts though? Okay,
it's to get this English racing green to Western. I'm
so past this banana girl, what's your deal? The last
thing I remember is I was at home and I
was making a fruit salad and I didn't have any banana,
(07:12):
and I said, where's the banana? And then I woke up. Here.
Was it a night time when you guys had your
last memory? Yeah? Mind? Yeah? What state are you guys
are from? Let's all say it at the same time.
Wait a second, we're from all over the place, all
the same state. I didn't take a state, I said, Gingerma,
(07:36):
I'm sorry. I don't know the Eastern Europeans. I don't
know what's stayed in from. Every time that voice, it
makes me want red painted wall. I meant just the
(07:58):
red wall. I don't know. And where are you naked?
Why is no one else naked? That's my question, because
we weren't. Were you in your truck naked? Get the
plush seats in my f one fifty? Are so comfortable
to have clothes in between me and the seats is
just insane? I get it. That makes so much sense
to me. You guys gotta take a ride when we
(08:19):
get back to Indiana. Just wallace lifting up this wallows
lifting up? What the fuck the space space. I never
believed in space before, and now I see it and
I can't deny it anymore. You never believed it, I
(08:42):
just never saw it. I don't believe in things. I
can't wait. We look back there. That's Earth. I knew it,
I said every years, and that really is a bumber.
It's the only place with you don't know that. If
(09:06):
there's infinite universes, then some of them must have. You've
got me saying, fe who are the people who are
running this ship and why aren't they talking? To excuse
me Earth? To to extreme fear are I'm going to
propose that you close yours sounds fair and then never
(09:30):
open them. You co gradually pre control. You're prepared to sophistication,
to fly to different stage, to pick us all up
on the same night, bring us here in your ship
and travel from whatever planning you came from. But you,
that's the method of how we get to see you.
(09:51):
Open our eyes. We have abducted you precisely three times
before we will be coming into your rooms. Quick question,
alien sers, will there be probing? There's always prober? Wait?
Did he say we've been abducted before? I think he
(10:12):
just meant people in general, not that's specifically, because we remember, right,
we have to remember these things. We don't even remember
where we came from. I don't remember who I was
when I first. That sounds like, so I have a
seven yon blanc. I have a Cabernet seven yon and
a seven yon seven yon. Okay, that's a lot of
(10:33):
seven yarns. Which would you like any other kinds? Or um? Nor? Yes?
To see them? Can we see them? Are? Of course?
Just give me one second. Serious, I mean, I like
all kinds of wine. I understand, you know, understand that
you have a variety of favorite spot we always circle
back to them. So let's just think. I don't know
(10:54):
about that. I mean, it's it's a good, you know,
full bodied reg What do we drink last night? I
don't I don't know the night before, I mean the
night before that. I mean it's some kind of red wine.
But it was probably a Merlot. And here we go.
Merlo Low Farms from Merlo Farm Farms that in Sinoma
(11:15):
County was the vintage. The vintage is how they aged
in transit. It looks like it's October. Did you see
that strange light in the sky? What the hell is it?
I assumed it was some sort of weather. But where
did you go? Where you? Okay, so we do remember something, right?
You remember that time I was doing a wine tasting
(11:36):
with my with my ex wine tasting. He is merlow
to run away from this. It's like your whole life.
I was tasting all kinds of stuff. I cycled back
to the Oh god, does anyone else remember? Does anyone
else have? Like any What did you do? F one fifty?
What do you mean? What did I do? You were
driving and then you got sucked up. I was like, no,
(11:56):
I wasn't driving. I was working on my car. Last
thing I remember of a car. You're working on your
car because when the oils of the f drip on
your body, you don't want anything in between you are.
You're calling your truck your car, because that's not usually
what truck owners could do. You said, my car was
working on my No I'm not. It's my it's my
(12:18):
it's my cruck, it's my truck, it's a car. We
didn't know you. We're not going to judge you. Complations.
It's hot in here? Can I take off my skin?
When you're a man, you want a truck that makes
you feel like a man. He can you turn this
out up? You want a four on the second TV?
Can you turn that up? Yeah? Do you want the
(12:38):
close captions onto? Yeah? Yeah, okay for def be a man? Hey?
Can you play that at again? It doesn't work like that. Hey, buddy,
what you're doing doing crazy? Yeah? I was just just
looking a little only over here, just looking at the TV.
You can tell that. Yeah, my name is Nancy. Nancy. Yeah,
(13:03):
what's your name? My name's for truck. That can't be right, No,
no it is. It's for truck. Okay, you're so funny.
I love for trucks. Darnell Glow, We're ready to see you.
That's my dog. I have to go for a second. Yes,
(13:27):
for my brother. Yes, no, it's for you, Darnell Arnell Glows,
Arnell Maurice Claw. Okay, yeah, yeah, that's that's not much
of a better name. That's I can understand why you
would call yourself a truck. I have a car. Oh um,
is it is it a truck? It's a it's a
cruck cruk. It's like a car truck exactly. What do
(13:51):
you want? Adventure? You want a car? And that helps
you feel it. The subtitles in Spanish this time. Okay,
wouldn't see that strange light in the sky? Actually, yeah,
I do for it, That's what I remember. And wait,
where were you? I was at a Buffalo wild Wings.
(14:13):
Did you get the dry rep? Yeah? And they do
a dental appointment to the back. So I was just
uh huh, And the commercial voiceover said, do you see
that strange light in the sky? Yeah? Okay, yeah, Look
I got abducted. If they were talking about strange things
that are happening, okay, they probably hacked into the feed,
and they got into the feed, yes, the feed. They
can travel through space. I think they can hack in
(14:34):
to a feed. Why would they bother? Why? I just
I don't know. They wanted my information about Ford trucks,
any information trucks, the doors opening doors? What do you want?
Why are we here? You continue experiment? Sure far, we
have experimented on your torch and this is the third term.
(14:57):
Excuse me? How long have we been here? Wait? I
had a question, are you calling on me? My eyes
are closed? He's talking true not I wasn't calling on anyone?
Can you calling me? When you say third time? Do
you mean as asked as individual. You have all been
her two terms before mind warped and Trump? Where am
(15:18):
I from? You are from benjama No, you're from Geneva.
Rest what the mind wife didn't really work? It's four
truck alright, Mr Truck. So far everybody's been doing a
(15:39):
great job. You just say that you have really bad breasts. Please,
I was going to compliment you on your command of
the English language. Thank you quite impressive. Can we open
our eyes? And what is your name? I mean you
can open your eyes if you wump? How are you
(16:00):
what I imagine? I think? Okay? If I opened my eyes?
How we refer to you? Referred to? Now? Isn't a
thing where your name is so complex that we couldn't
possibly understand and renounce it? Just don't work? My real name? For?
(16:24):
What's your real name? Yea? What is it? That's something
I couldn't pronounce yourself? You can't, Mrs President. Yes, but
we have information that there was a spaceship outside of
our space. You don't know that it's a ship. Well,
there's something out there. To see these reports? Okay, please
(16:44):
take a look at them. Is this for real this time?
Are you guys full on? Me again. Are you again
look at the calendar. It's not April first, all right,
because you did it on May second as well. I'm
just alight. Yes, this does these calculations do look to
be true, Madam President. Yes, if I could. What is
your name again? My name is Turner, Turner, Turner. How
(17:08):
many times do we have to go over the how
you refer to Madam President? Is she Mary walked in
here and said Mrs President's married to the office of
the Presidency. I don't. I just wanted to be respectful
in the moment of secretary. How does that sound? Just
follow up and I appreciate this, you know, Madam President
as another you know female, But why is the woman
(17:31):
married to the presidency? I never heard it say that
the man was married to the presidency. No, exactly my
point as well. That's why Mrs President makes no sense.
But no, but you said she's married to the office.
It sounded the way. Okay, so there's a status thing
happening in this room right now. Leonard is my number one.
(17:53):
Let's make that very clear. Everyone, very clear. Okay, we
call it number one. When you would be number one,
you are my number two. Turners too, because he's poop
because he's exactly. So he stands outside the bathroom door
for me and make sure that I do my job,
have a proper movement exactly. When you're a president and
(18:14):
a lady, you want a car that makes you feel
like a lady. Excuse me, I have to watch this commercial.
You want a car that makes you feel to listen
to that voice. You want Afford truck F one al Right,
I need a Ford truck F one fifty man. Please,
if you could just look at you, you are a okay,
(18:37):
you're a that just seems to be okay, poop, shut up, Look,
I follow you. People are gonna be missing us on
earth right now. Right D six is Donnie the six six?
(18:59):
Thank you for and bring hand there's a floating outside
Next week to find out if the body outside was
in fact Donny and why Bartholomewle speaks that way when
our adventure continues Jerks and space by four alrighty. Scene
(19:25):
number two comes from Cameron, who wrote, hey guys, thanks
for the extra episode every week. That's right Tuesdays and Thursdays.
A scene suggestion from Canada. Here, I spent a lot
of time walking and hiking with my dog. So I thought,
now you're just bragging. So I thought it would be
funny to hear the thoughts of dogs waiting to be
adopted from a shelter. Did you? Did you? Cameron? Thanks
(19:47):
for the laughs and I'm always excited to hear new episodes.
Cheers from Cameron Pressed in the country of Canada. I
don't know, Mama, I just want a dog. Well, you
don't know how to take care of things. Do well?
When I got you a parakeet, I mean you know
how that ended? He pick me? Hey, than I did
(20:10):
not know that the can't swim in gasoline. Well that
seems to be obvious. All right now, I brought you
to this shelter today to tease you about not having
a dog. Don't pick me. Yeah, we're looking for a dog.
This one right here saying I can't understand him. We're
looking for a dog. Speak clearer, We're looking for a dog.
(20:36):
Don't do well. We got dogs everywhere in all the cages.
I want to like my ask hey over here, over
here with this one. Mom scruffy, he's single, Mom, he
looks ill. I'm single. Yes, I am single. Thank you
for asking, Thank you for noticing my single them. You're welcome.
(20:57):
I could just get that single vava. Are you single?
But I don't know? Yes, I mean I'm a little malnourished.
I'm in a goddamn shelter. Come on, loc he looks
like he's on drugs. He looks like a dumb dump you.
Did you get the memo about the escape tonight? Yeah? Yeah, midnight? Right,
yeah yeah, midnight stroke at midnight. I just gotta figure
out how to tell time, and between now and then,
(21:20):
I can usually tell about the position of the moon.
So you'll let the rest of us now. Spotted dogs
are not spotted dog. I love spotted dog, but then
you might want to look at the ones with the
spots over there. You are very helpful. Thank you. Are
you single? Yes? I am already did quarters to play
(21:40):
the dog game. You have your own quarters dog game broken?
Ye give it a shake. So how long have you
been single? I didn't single for a lot. I don't
know ten years for my whole life. How did you
(22:00):
make that it was an accident? We're going to hit
it all. This is like a tragedy. Even three x
I dog a whole gotta lay on top of the
hold of the humans she's a whole. I dog for
the escape, the escape. I mean, that's that's just as poop.
If you go over there, you're just gonna rely in
(22:21):
the We're gonna for this again. Come here, look as
the whole. I don't belong here, It don't belong. This
is a mistake. Let it go. You see that one dog,
that one dog always poops and then lays on it
till the other dogs comeing sniff his coming and they
all end up eating the poop. I like how you
notice the little things in life. I guess I'm sort
(22:42):
of just you know, I don't know observing you. Your
face is so good. Wow, thank you more? Shut up here?
So anyway for one of us to get out here,
just to bite that kilde him a couple of fingers
through the whole. We can just get fingers. What are
(23:05):
you talking about that? Maybe we can't bite its old body,
but if we look cute now and he put his
fingers through the cap. You try, you trying. I'm very
scared here in the last thing I was with my
person and know I'm not. They died, they died. Did
(23:25):
you kill him? I accidentally killed them? Did you eat
their face? Afterwards, I know my life story, that's everyone's story.
Here done, and then we ate their face. That's that's respectful.
We're showing the respect. We're using the full the full body.
I did my best to resist it for like two hours.
I was like, yeah, maybe they'll come back to life.
(23:48):
Made it two days, But you went two hours before
eating their face. I thought I was restrained. I don't
know what time is. It's your kids gotta finger trapped
in the dog game. Ok, calm down, calm down, I
(24:11):
like that, dumb dumb don't make a big deal about this,
all right, don't ruin this for the dog game. Now,
come here, come here, come here. Okay, but I don't
know moves a lot of blood. Let me I can
turn the kid out of your mom's bra Oh whoops,
I'm sorry. I just wanted to save him. I wasn't
(24:32):
even thinking about Wow. Wow, you took it off without
me even noticing. You are impressive. You're a beautiful statue
is woman. You are just those fingers stop the bleeding
so fast? How do they do that? That's impressive? Right,
do so many things we can't. They have thumbs and
have thumbs and bras. Yeah, well, my owner had bra
(24:56):
before you it. What it's like? What strawberry? Strawberry? Strawberry?
I jesus she couldn't hear. I couldn't hear three cages away.
What do you got your ears? I don't know. I
don't thumbs. I can't dig it out. You're gonna cloud out.
I'm gonna bleed that one does looking to hear. Yeah,
(25:25):
I want to kind of fish it out. On the
other hand, I don't want to fish it out. I'll
fish it out for you. Okay, okay, look at this fishing.
Go to the hospital. Hey, hey, honey, you wanted a doll, right,
would you settle for a parent figure? Very good with you? Sweetheart?
(25:47):
Names Linda, Linda, Oh my god, you're never going to
believe this. What I guess what my name is? Linda? Yeah, Linda, Linda.
Oh my son's name? What's your name? Against? Sweetheart? Ford forward?
That's just me word Linda. Hey, it's me. Jake, Hi, Jake.
(26:11):
Long time, no sick, longtime. See I ran out of dogs.
I'm going to get Jake. I'm just a regular here
at this shelter. This guys takes ten that comes back
a couple of days later. Why what happens to all
(26:31):
the dogs? Dog fight? What happens to the dogs? Man?
What do you do? What kind of dogs you're looking for? Buddy? Oh? No,
sus that look like the put a good fat and
for your pattings. Think absolutely, it's for children that are
sick to get to pet a dog. One. You're not sick,
(26:52):
You're fine. Think he's just now a little We were
gonna keep the main ones over there. Let me get
some of them. Me one, just get in, I'd say,
any tent I'll do. I don't care up. Pull that
truck up back. I'm sorry? Did you just slap her?
But sorry, but that's just kind of a gentleman's handshake. Okay,
(27:17):
excuse me, Yeah, I got I got a little bit
of problem with gets how you're treating Linda right? Non
does my dad? That's not true, you need real daddy. Well,
my name is Jake Son. What's your name? Ford for board.
That's a good name. It reminds me of a truck
truck man, because trucks forward is a brand. Well for
(27:40):
why don't you come around back to me when we filip?
My pickups a bra and his finger? Really take that
thing off? No, no, no, no, no, honey eats saving him.
Please don't touch my bra Okay, that's fair. I'm gonna
bring my truck around back. You get those dogs ready,
all there, I'm gonna go with the man. Come on,
you think window would be onto this guy by now? Unbelievable.
(28:02):
She falls forward every time. People we have to choose from?
How many dogs do you want? What kind of a
question is that we're going to have to fight? Which
dog do you want? I don't fight. I'm not a fighter.
I'm a lover. I'm a lover. Once you get in
the ring, being a lover not gonna help you at all.
Well let's let's wait a second. Now, how how talented
are we in the loving area? Well, I'm very supportive.
(28:24):
My emotional strength is very large. What list in the
ring can't wait from me? I hope he's both like
to flight you you, I'd like to fly. Don't make
me fight you. I'd like you to just like ships totally.
(28:44):
Then we need to get some of these dogs. Put
him in the back, man, I'm trying to put him
in the back. How's this kid doing here? Man? This kid,
this kid needs a father figure. He almost got raised
by a couple of windows. Oh god, so they shut up. Boy,
we're gonna be going. I'm gonna show you what it's
like to be around dog fight. Come on, man, I
(29:05):
don't have the time, all the responsibility. It ain't gonna
take any extra white white, white, white white. Couldn't help it.
Over here, do y'all say dog fat dog? I was
talking about airplanes. I used to be a blue Angel.
I think I said dog fight. What does the dog
fight have to do the blue Angel? You call airplane
fights dog fights? Why when the airplanes fat? Well, I'm
back in World War Two the planes were fighting and
(29:28):
they called him dog fights. That's what I'm firing to
a sophisticated what Linda, I don't want to do the
things that I know how to do. We should include
cutting a person. Okay, I don't want to do that.
I wanted to believe you're a little sick kids story.
But Linda was telling me she thought it was a
line and said, no, no, Jake's not like that. And
then I come back and I hear this dog fight?
Hold on, how about this? Where are you are you?
(29:52):
My name is Cage. Your name is not Yeah, that's
my last name. Excuse me, y'all talking about dog fights? Yeah,
we are. It couldn't help knows that Ford pickup you're driving.
Can you tell me a little bit about it. We'll
tell you what it gets. It gets a good solid
four feet off the ground, and it's got a hundred
fifty RPMs and when I fill up that back in
(30:14):
the truck and can take at least twelve dollars. Hell yeah,
I'm driving an Escort hatchback myself. Who are you? What's
going on? There are a lot of men around enjoy
dog fights and Ford cars. How about we do this?
How about Cage? Yeah? How about me? And then? I
(30:35):
don't even know you and I love you, Jake. Alright,
Jake and Linda can fight Cage and we can eat
their faces. Hold on, let's make this interesting. Will be
Linda and Linda versus Jake and Cage where she just
the dogs and the boy. Wait, I don't want to
fight Linda to you, but we're going to fight the
(30:57):
Linda's Jakes. What what I'm saying is that I get
the kid. Yeah, I'm taking the kid from watch from
the back seat of my FOURD Escort. It's surprisingly room.
You'd be the referee. I want a fair fight. Put
one of you, one of you from each team into
the cage. Ld On, cage or cage this guy. Nobody's answering.
(31:22):
This is just not a ring. It's a cage, all right.
I know what to go in and one comes out.
That's the way we fight, alright. I don't care what
they just wait outside until the cheer. You cheer for
your to go in, one comes out. You thought to
the death here, I understood. I thought we agree to that.
So each team pick one opponent. Let's begin. I really
(31:44):
thought we were going to do all four of us.
But okay, okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry. You want all
four in the rings. So four go. We two cages.
This guy. We've never done this before. This is our friend, Paul's. Yeah,
the very specific rule. Okay, if if I don't, y'all
(32:09):
need to pick sides first, I'm gonna be with because
that's my friend. Which one are you again? Okay, you're
gonna thought Jake, my friend your cage, Nicholas. Yes, I
heard about you. Thank you bad Malone. I'd like to
I'd like to be on the team of the Ford Voice.
I'm leaving you. That is correct. Challenge you to to
(32:33):
go in one comment Linda to a bro. Now she's
scooting off with that guy. He's got them voice little
kid with a boy kid. I wanna do this for
you if I win your my son. All right, let's go.
I'll give you to whoever you want. And I'm fine
(32:53):
with all of this. The ring is the man side,
cage nakel the ladies side. Linda, that's right, Linda, T alright, no,
t t y Yeah, alright, because I like it, let's
(33:16):
do it. What what the hair catch? We're gonna fight
or not? I'm in the cage with her. Where are
your people from? From Minnesota? All place? I didn't grow
up there. That's where my people are. Prior to that
would be maybe Scandinavia probably. And you can adopt a dog.
I'll let you adopt a dog. See how this sends?
(33:36):
Thank god? See okay, all the humans are out in
the parking lot. If we're gonna make a breakthrough it,
this is the time. Let's let we're not going to
Where are we going? Oh man, I can't resist eating
that poop so bad. I've got a hole. This wall
(33:57):
with the poster of puppies on the outside. How do
we just get the poster down? Never as good as
it looks, it's never as good as Linda. Linda, he
just remunibles off and good at me. So sorry, I'm
so stupid thing that just because I was physically strong,
(34:21):
these dogs are coming in my face. Well, now this
fight's over, I better head back to the city. Well,
luckily my Ford escort gets incredible Miley. Yes. C number
two also brought to you by Ford f one. Remember
when you want to f one go to fart and
(34:46):
our thirds incomes from one meet who wrote, high ilcome.
That's I truly love some of the characters you all
have come up with. Lisa is my favorite, closely followed
by Marvin mckugh. Was it mc mcne i every so
many peoples a controversy. Every listener has heard the name differently.
(35:06):
In my mind it was McKee is spelled capital limb
see capital h u g H. Marvin mckugh, Marvin McHugh,
al right, well she's smelled it slightly different, but the
same pronunciation. And she goes on, so why not a
skit with both of them to people remember Lisa the
character Lisa? All Right, so we'll well, we'll focus on Marvin,
(35:29):
which this this premise actually does picture this. It's Marvin's
first day waiting tables at a restaurant. His trainer is
growing impatient with him as Marvin is old, slow and
just not getting it. You're all my favorite podcast. The
show makes life more interesting and overall enjoyable. I wish
I could have a new episode every day, but I
know you all have lives to keep up the great work.
Hugs and high fives one Nita, Marvin, you're good to start?
(35:54):
What's that? Are you good to start your day? I've
already started it. Line up with everybody. Please, let's get
all the servers in here, please, all right, Look, we
got a big buyout today. We got the entire four
team here. Okay, it's just a big deal for our
restaur may walk away with husband's okay, No one's walking
(36:15):
away with husbands. Were here to work. Sometimes work has
its perks. David is saying that we're closed to the public. Yes,
that's just for people. It's just it's just four myself.
Don't look for some of us. This may be the
last day in the restaurant business. So to all my
friends and all my teammates. I love you, and um
(36:37):
it's been real are you Are you quitting or not? No,
I'm not quitting. I'm just saying announcement. This is not
a daily announcement. This is special today. I've mentioned it before,
but sometimes you can meet people at a steakhouse. A
lot of people meet people at a steakhouse. When you've
got a corporate butt out at a steakhouse, you want
a Ford man, I would love Afford. All right, look,
(36:58):
can we please these cars are better? Do not do
not mention any other corm brands please. Okay, everyone, this
is Marvin McCoo am I saying that right? Nope? Okay,
and he is. He's going to be shadowing today. We're
not gonna make okay. We have to have him here
for at least a week, alright, so let's all right,
(37:18):
so let's just uh, let's all work together on. I
get what Joel is doing. He's making sure that we're
not all I candy. Okay, have to do the work. Okay,
thank you, Marvin, thank you. Okay, So Marvin, where'd you
work before here? I've worked a lot of places. I've
I've lived entire lifetimes. That was a radio DJ for
a while in Omaha. But your experience as a waiter.
(37:41):
I broke mustangs for a while in the Old West,
not Ford mustangs. That's fun that that was a numbers
runner for mafia. Okay, all right, that's good Marvin. Alright,
So let's let's all just remember we were. We have
the same in special we want to sell. That's a bosmati,
(38:02):
rice and asparagus crew to te al Right. We also
a steakhouse, right, yes it is. We also have good fish. Okay,
everyone knows good steakhouses have great fish. All right? Do
they know that we know? Marvin? Please? Marvin? Okay, So okay,
they're coming in. Okay, great, Who can I talk to? Whoever?
Is So, what we're trying to do is we want
(38:24):
to have everything, sir, family style and family style. So
I don't really want to leave it up to each table.
Because don't want to leave it up to each table.
Is this what is this some sort of a parrot? Oh?
I'm sorry, Sarah, I just doing I'm just backing you up.
I'm just you know, making sure that everything gets done efficiently.
Thank you. So you're saying, sir, no menus, you want
just the white staff and just bring the food out
(38:46):
like we're servants. Devin, come on, Devin, relax. I mean
it's every time. Would be happy to comply. I can
everyone just go to their tables, thee to run out
to my Honda Civic. You just a little joke within
the restaurant. That's a that's a local joke. Local. It's
(39:07):
a local, it's not a local. The joke is that
it's a joke, not a local. It's not a local.
It's a joke. Car. We think it's a piece of ship,
the car, so we love for We were making fun
of that. We were making fun of it at a
Ford Man. He's very funny. Do you guys want any
entertainment at the table? Janet? Did we order entertainment? Sir?
We did order entertainment. We ordered a violinists. That's what
(39:29):
I thought. We have our own entertainment coming. I don't
exactly know what. I don't know. It was just it's
a crazy idea. Don't ask me. I was going to dance,
all right. I'm gonna leave you in charge. Thank you, okay, sir,
thank you. Don't mess this up. I'm going to try
to not mess this up, you know, what happens to
a yes man that makes a mistake, They jump out
a window. They jump with their own free will out
(39:50):
of window. That's right, sir, understood. Back I felt it
seems like a pleasant fellow to work. He's wonderful. Stitch
out there? Oh excuse me? What's the sitch out there?
It's a business meeting and um we are. There's a
lot of steak today steak. Um. So as a server
(40:12):
and dancer, I was just wondering what's going on out there?
Who do we have at the table we're going to
be eating food? Um? We have several uh men who
will be there right right, ride right, family and a
couple of women. Um no, I'm sorry, what are you
getting at. I'm just wondering if there's any knowledgible batch
Oh oh gosh, um yeah, well yes, there are several
(40:37):
single people. Okay, I'm gonna miss par Part of the
reason why we want to invest is in the new
Chassiss is because it's not it's not just that they're
stronger and they have a better flexibility. It's partly because
it's it's just gonna be. It's for the future, right,
We're gonna want to go electric Chad. Hold one second, sir,
(40:57):
could we get could we get? Hello? I'm love and
I'm shadow wing today. Right? Could you are you work
here though? Yeah? Well I'm hoping to. Oh we need
to get some cocktails, Rice, No, don't cut them off.
Some cocktails, fella, Okay, I would like a vodka gimlet. Yeah,
(41:17):
i'd like okay, getting alright, roda gimblet getting it? Hold on?
Hold on? What is a couple of orders? Hold on?
You want to write this? There are we having any
issues over here? Timy, Hello, Tibby toy? Can you tell
anybody want a hot piece of meat? Does this elderly
gentleman put your hand on tibby pardon me? Does this
elder gentleman work here as well? Oh? This is Mervyn
(41:41):
Mackie and he we're helping him out, so so we
can get cocktails from you? Absolutely? All right? Vodka okay,
that's right. Yeah, we've got a bodka gimlet. And what else?
I like a vodka bourbon? Vodka bourbon? Okay, And what
about for you? I'll do a I'll do a drift. Drift.
(42:06):
I'm familiar and I will make it for you. Get
out of your men, I'm supposed to be shadowing you. Yeah,
a shadow is silent. A shadow is like right over
your shoulder. No shadows. It depends on where the sun is.
What's the buzz muddy? Right? You look like a couple,
(42:27):
we're not. It seems like you're a couple. We're not
a couple. We know we couldn't. We just met today.
I am single, a single, Yes I am. No, I'm
not gonna he's an aspiring server. Okay. And you can't
touch people like that? Yes, how do you do? I
(42:52):
do very well. I see that you talking to two people.
I was in the middle of a conversation, but not
such a important conversation I could. It's not a please
please no no, no, no, no, no, please please please no,
please please no, please excuse me, Mr Ford. Yes, I
see that you're talking to some people interrupted by a person. Well, honestly,
I could have a conversation with both of you two
(43:12):
at the same No. No, no, no, no, no no, no, no,
please no, it's not brought by that again. Okay, so
we all know what we're talking about. It's pretty what
we're talking about. Chassis that can go both electric and gasoline. Oh,
is that not that not what you guys were. Is
that not what you Jannet? I thought everybody was prepped
(43:34):
on us. I say, drinking vodka, gimblet, I'm thirsty, I'm
sure did I over here? You've got chassis that go
with gasoline or elect drink. I'm just trying to prepare
for the future, right, So you've got hybrid chassis. Yes, absolutely,
we're working on it. So you've got investments. The undercarriage
in the frame of the vehicle. Did someone say undercarriage?
(43:57):
Can I get you? Morvin? Okay, what is going on?
Ordered to drift? What is buddy? Come here? But what
the hell is this drift? You punched this in? Yeah,
I punched it in. Okay, What the funk is this?
The er? They ordered to drift? What the fund is that?
(44:18):
What is that? You make drinks for a living? Yeah?
I do? Tommy, never heard of a drift? No, I
never heard of a drift. Is this guy's fault? It's
not my fault? First of all, go easy on new guy,
all right, Like this game reminds me of my dad exactly.
Let's leave our personal ship at home, Tommy, how many
times I have a lot of kids, I don't know
about a drift? Is it's just an I p a.
(44:41):
It's a beer. Get the drift. Sorry, just got a
couple of cases in last night. Sorry, Sorry, Okay, Mervin, Mervin,
can I have a moment? Okay? You're ruining my life? Mervin?
How am I ruining your life? I gotta blow out? Okay,
my blast broke perfectly. Okay, you can't be of a ring.
There's no spark between us, Mervin. I am going to
(45:03):
meet an exact today and get out of this fucking Applebee's. Well. Well,
I'm sorry that sounded like you're mocking me. I'm sorry
if I felt that we had a little bit of
a spark. Okay, I just want to be emphatic. So
you know that I'm coming from a place. You've got
(45:24):
a little not on your shoulders. Can I help help
me work that out? Hell's going on? Back here? What helped? Timmy?
What's going on? Oh? I can move my arm again?
How is this moving the Bosmati Rice? That's what I
want to Oh my god? I mean Mervin and I
have our issues. But he did push the Bosmati Rice?
You did, Marvin? I pushed the ship out of it. Okay,
(45:46):
then how many orders do we have? It's family style,
so there's no ordering. It's all going out for the table.
Let's get it out. Yeah, so I took this twenty
three and me and in the results. Let me to you, Marvin. Wow. Yeah,
what's your name? My name is Derek. Well you're a
(46:09):
good looking kid. Yeah. My mom said that you you
guys had a thing for a weekend many many years ago. Yeah,
altimont right, yeah right, those were crazy times. So like,
what are you up to? Like you must be doing
something amazing with your life. Well, I'm learning to be
a server at Applebee's. Applebee's. Yeah, it's a steakhouse, but
(46:32):
we also have good fish. Oh okay, well man, I
can probably get your employee discount on the food. I
actually need a job. Oh really yeah, well you can.
You can shadow me shadow of the shadow with Okay, guys,
line up, line up here. All right, So we got
we have a new person, new shadowing Derek. Derek, he's
(46:53):
my kid, that's Marvin's Is that real? Is that really
your son? Okay, uh, I'm still here. Go ahead, mock me,
go ahead, morning, good morning, Okay, So we have another buyout.
Apparently it's some kind of extraterrestrial corporation. Uh, they come
down here and they just really want to They want
(47:14):
to blow out, so it's gonna be nuts. Yeah. They
want to do it like a big party, a big party. Um,
so maybe we don't get blow out the business. I'm
not exactly a gentleman named Bartholome. Hit me up. I'll
just die here. So let's all make sure we got
some special today. We got We just got soups. They
just wanted soups. Yes, that's I was just wondering if
(47:41):
you skirt um personal gli oh. I think we're all
like no, no, no, I want out. I want out,
and anyone else want group tation will pull. I don't
(48:05):
don't take it away. She is my only friend here.
I don't know you. Well, I'll track both of usual.
I come, are we not serving your party lunch today?
Having turned on a quick trip up to spurs up
to space. That's funny, okay, So okay, we get you
(48:27):
a drink while you're waiting another drift. Fantastic, we're moving
the drift. This is exciting, but we're trying to share
firm or storm so super family style okay. So by
thought on me was clearly left us alone on the
space ship. If we're gonna break out, this is the
(48:48):
time to do it. Okay, everyone, we don't know that.
We don't know that. We don't know that. I think
that your head explodes if you break out of a
space and how can we be starting We're even on
our space ship for realists, real I mean, I see it.
It must be real. But it could be a set.
This is Hollywood. No, I mean it could know once
you get behind the wheel of what do you think
this is Hollywood? Like you knew this was Hollywood. Well,
(49:10):
we're in space. This is the same flat Earth guy.
This is the flat Earth guy. You think everything's just said?
Everything's fake? Sorry, looked out the window on the Earth
dead body floating outside. So something real is happening here. Okay,
Oh we just got two new people. Oh my gosh,
Oh my gosh. Where are you guys from? That's the
(49:31):
first question. Well, I'm from all over the place. It's
kind of a hard day. But what state are you from?
We were at Apple Bay's. I've lived in all fifty states.
Where are you from? Where do you live? Anyone in
corporate here? Why are you naked? Driving up fifty and
the plus Marolinas for a while, and then I lived
(49:52):
in Hawaii all seven islands, and then I was in
gingerma O. He did I've been saying, gentlemen that I
was born in Gingermen. Oh, it was beautiful where it's
right in the middle. Of course, it is right in
(50:14):
the middle of the country here, so right in the
middle of the country. Never never get used to that smell. Well,
you're a productors about to be destory. You couldn't look
at it all the previously printed wall, it's rusion. Previously
painted wall. Well, we rose the wall it was painted.
Quick question if that is in fact your name? Why
(50:37):
are why are you guys destroying? We've chose to you
to be the next Earth ringers on planet Earth number two?
Number two? Oh? Can I follow up question Earth too?
Is it also flat? Because this is very disappointed. It
just looks flat because you're looking at it from this perspective.
Or fruits role doesn't have bananas? Of course? Does it
(50:58):
have pack dogs? That doesn't like that is his whole
That is your whole identity. That is all you are.
Do you want me to get you some mer low
doesn't have an we can't serve here. There's no kitchen here.
It looks like we're repopulating a new world. I'm not
going to be Marvin no Oh, I'm a servant. I'm
(51:22):
having Marvin shoulders. Well, at least we've got that. I
don't know the world. Is there a specific reason you
chose us by the way, I mean, it seems so random.
Were exchanged random because your wines were wiped every wonderfu
you asked if you want to dree Oh, it's just
(51:44):
like manners of course what we wanted to leave. We're here,
are you should? You want to script the earth and
be probed again? I mean, let's in probri missions as
you maker third, you've never complained to bart it. You're
afraid of rip it burns for Probram Robert. You're running
(52:09):
into it. Horror, horror, so sweet I get that from you.
It turns out we don't need any more problem because
you're all halter. Oh, go ahead, it's fine. It's fine experiment,
but you've done probing. Right when we get on the ship,
we're finally involuntary exactly my life. Some of you have
(52:29):
been up your shovel cars. This is my first time
I'm pretty sure if you really want to reprove I
would like that. Thank you weren't to be it's not
in public. It's fine. We've got time and OK, friend Harvin,
I need to do this alone. All right, I'll be
right back with my Probram. Do I follow you? I can,
(52:53):
I can go with you. By the way. Uh, that
in fact includes our scenes for today. I want to
thank all of our alchemists. Carla Kakowski, thank you so
much for joining us having me. Uh where where should
folks look to find you and your marvelous talents at
(53:14):
Carla Katkowski on Twitter. It's correct, Vanessa, And we're going
to Dynasty typewriter soon. Yeah. What upcoming shows are you
excited for? The Okay, we just had Michelle Wolf and
I've got to say Powerhouse Beyond. I can't sing it
(53:35):
loud enough. Great. It was so exciting. And if people
are only familiar from the Daily Show, dig deeper deep
major like Killer, and then we've got Adam Sandler coming up.
We've got so much great stuff. Ye come and hang
out and June is going to be a bunch of delights.
Um work to s improv. We got we got so
many good things come to the calendar Dynasty Typewriter dot com.
(53:58):
That's so many calendars, James Calendars. Well, I believe this
should be dropping sometimes near the E three. I'm gonna
be doing E three coverage for game Front, So if
you're interested in video games, please check out game front
dot com. Fantastic. And what if you're not interested, well
then you could just check me out on Twitter at
the heat Okay, good, good, good good Joey Greer Hello,
(54:19):
uh that's it at jeby Grieber on Instagram spelled as
it sounds alright and Westide Comedy Theater, second and fourth, Wednesday,
nine o'clock. Craig Atkowski at Kaikowski on Twitter. Also at
Craig's List cast, What is it for the craigs List podcast,
(54:45):
which is grinding slowly to an exciting conclusion. We're getting
close to it's getting round looking for to the banana
in the morning. Let's all get very special thanks today
to uh, I'm just gonna allam our savior, Mr Doug Babe,
because he's not only making this show possible, but saved
(55:07):
the live shows in such a way with his unique
talents and um, we're thrilled equally and mutually to to
have him in our lives and he's so yeah, no,
it's crazy. So thank you and also Raphael Brito. Sound
design artists are producer Sophie Lichteman. Fine, folks in I
(55:31):
heart media. I encourage all of you to write a review. Please,
it helps so much. However, you listen to podcasts uh
go their right reviews. Let folks know what you think
of the show. It really does help and we greatly
appreciate all of your support. Right to us, as always
your name here at alcovey this dot com. I'm your host,
Kevin Pollock. Thanks again for listening to this episode of Okay,
(55:56):
Yeah and a Football Pepper and a Football Pepper
Hello, lovely listeners. Kevin Pollock here, just letting you know
the next live show for Alchemy. This will be on
July one, seven pm West Side Comedy Theater. If you're
in the Santa Monica, California area, or anywhere near it
July one, please come join us. Tickets to go fast
as I did last time. We'd love to see you there.
Go to west Side Comedy dot com for more. Welcome
(00:23):
back to another episode ab Alchemy. This. I'm yours, Kevin back. Yes,
that's Kevin Pollock. What's that? Well? I don't care what
the sign on the front gate says. Drifters are no
longer welcome in my home. But I digress. So I'm
so very happy to be back in the saddle and
welcome you all to another episode out Alchemy. Then let's
meet today's Alchemists, shall we? In no particular orders, say
(00:45):
hello to James Heeny, Jamie Lanister, the Heat. If you
could only consume one meal hereafter, what would it be? Pizza?
That's correct? Hey there, Vanessa Raglan. But if you could
change eleven things about Joey Greer, what's the seventh thing
you would change? Finger link to Gret reach for the
(01:08):
Skag Partners. It's Greigowski crick Ow. How do you spell relief?
Can you spot me? Three letters? F A R. There
we got a winner. No more calls, pencils down? What
the hell? It's Joey Greer Joe Solo. You gotta pee
(01:30):
lyon down. What's your favorite cereal? And why? Oh? Probably
uh Crispy Gees. Yeah, and uh it's a little concoction.
I've been working at myself, so it's a personal favor. Okay,
that's that's not the answer I had written. I'm sorry.
So I see that finger things weird. It's natural. I
(01:50):
will ever look at again. And last, but eat my
sadness if you think ear last, it's Carla Koski Carlina Loup.
What is the best part of waking up? Eating a banana?
So happily, Mary, no problem with my finger link o
(02:15):
my goodness. First five, Hey, I want to ask real
quick before I get we get to our first team,
which we would normally do at this point, how was
the live show May seventh? That I was only there
in spirit? It was super fun. Yeah, yeah, we had
a great time. It looks great on camera. I know
you've never seen you. I threw in some video intros,
(02:40):
all my speak stuff. I wasn't able to participate, but
we've we've brought in a Ringer madman, Uh who you know. Uh.
It was an experiment to throw in someone that's that
much of a live wire, and I felt like, if
you guys could get past his energy in the dressing
room for the show, everything was going to be fine. Yeah. Yeah,
(03:03):
we survived. Oh yes, some Amazon fish and then we
just went right into the show. I couldn't tell if
it was real or a bit, but in general, I
can't tell if he's real horrible. Yeah, yeah, he's a
true delighting. We were very lucky to have him with us,
and I'm glad to hear that you guys all had fun,
(03:24):
super fun. All right, and thanks to everyone who came
out to the live show on May seventh at the
Dynasy Typewriter Theater. Go to Dynasty Typewriter dot com for calendars.
Yeah sure, why not any calendar, elementary calendar calendars over
at the Dynasty. Let's get there our first scene as usual,
I'll day suggestions were gathered from your listener emails. If
(03:48):
you'd like to submit yours, please write to the podcast
your name here at alchemy this dot com. That's your
name here at alchemy this dot com. Our first scene
comes from Eric, who wrote, Hey, guys, how about a
scene where the Alchemists wake up in a room together
as total strangers with no idea where they are, and
then slowly realized they're on a spaceship having been abducted
(04:09):
by alien ps. Vanessa is a babe. That's also part
of the suggestion. Okay, okay, I'll take that. That's from
Eric coal Hoffer. You Vanessa coal Hafer. Oh what the fuck?
(04:39):
A right close? Very close? Who are you? Man? Who
are you? Where are you? Man? I don't know, I
can't remember. Why don't have slime in my belly button?
This is pans were ring? Colm? We fetched four moments
(05:03):
like that? What was that? Ny? It's like true lies
any of you guys? Johnnie's done? I can't remember my name.
I need a banana? Where's my banana? Someone thing? Where
(05:24):
are we? Can you get your long fingers out of me? Sorry?
Oh my gosh, what's happening? Last thing I remember was
I was enjoying a glass of red wine at home
and I was watching n C. I s what kind
of red wine. Oh yeah, guy, lets, I don't know
(05:44):
if I'm a mar Low guy. I just that's just
what I happened to be. We don't know you, man,
We don't know when the last night is hanging out?
Do you have a lot of friends? I have? At
least he and Dannie and I. We're talking about breathing pugs.
(06:04):
That's the last thing. I oh. No, Well, you're gonna
make him fell in love at very least you have
nine friends left. Do you think Johnny's dead? No, I'm
hard thing to throw at somebody. You don't even know
that breathe Stop calling me. We're logo? Does man? You
(06:27):
want to remember how you got in here? Last thing?
I remember, I was driving my forward one down. It's
not a board that okay. It was a four by four,
fully stocked, fully stocked. It wasn't it was fully stocked. Okay.
Suspensions are premo if you never drove in a fantastic
(06:50):
the steering handles like a dream. So you're an English teacher.
I'm not an English teacher, thank you very much. What
do you do teaching math? My f one fifties nuts though? Okay,
it's to get this English racing green to Western. I'm
so past this banana girl, what's your deal? The last
thing I remember is I was at home and I
was making a fruit salad and I didn't have any banana,
(07:12):
and I said, where's the banana? And then I woke up. Here.
Was it a night time when you guys had your
last memory? Yeah? Mind? Yeah? What state are you guys
are from? Let's all say it at the same time.
Wait a second, we're from all over the place, all
the same state. I didn't take a state, I said, Gingerma,
(07:36):
I'm sorry. I don't know the Eastern Europeans. I don't
know what's stayed in from. Every time that voice, it
makes me want red painted wall. I meant just the
(07:58):
red wall. I don't know. And where are you naked?
Why is no one else naked? That's my question, because
we weren't. Were you in your truck naked? Get the
plush seats in my f one fifty? Are so comfortable
to have clothes in between me and the seats is
just insane? I get it. That makes so much sense
to me. You guys gotta take a ride when we
(08:19):
get back to Indiana. Just wallace lifting up this wallows
lifting up? What the fuck the space space. I never
believed in space before, and now I see it and
I can't deny it anymore. You never believed it, I
(08:42):
just never saw it. I don't believe in things. I
can't wait. We look back there. That's Earth. I knew it,
I said every years, and that really is a bumber.
It's the only place with you don't know that. If
(09:06):
there's infinite universes, then some of them must have. You've
got me saying, fe who are the people who are
running this ship and why aren't they talking? To excuse
me Earth? To to extreme fear are I'm going to
propose that you close yours sounds fair and then never
(09:30):
open them. You co gradually pre control. You're prepared to sophistication,
to fly to different stage, to pick us all up
on the same night, bring us here in your ship
and travel from whatever planning you came from. But you,
that's the method of how we get to see you.
(09:51):
Open our eyes. We have abducted you precisely three times
before we will be coming into your rooms. Quick question,
alien sers, will there be probing? There's always prober? Wait?
Did he say we've been abducted before? I think he
(10:12):
just meant people in general, not that's specifically, because we remember, right,
we have to remember these things. We don't even remember
where we came from. I don't remember who I was
when I first. That sounds like, so I have a
seven yon blanc. I have a Cabernet seven yon and
a seven yon seven yon. Okay, that's a lot of
(10:33):
seven yarns. Which would you like any other kinds? Or um? Nor? Yes?
To see them? Can we see them? Are? Of course?
Just give me one second. Serious, I mean, I like
all kinds of wine. I understand, you know, understand that
you have a variety of favorite spot we always circle
back to them. So let's just think. I don't know
(10:54):
about that. I mean, it's it's a good, you know,
full bodied reg What do we drink last night? I
don't I don't know the night before, I mean the
night before that. I mean it's some kind of red wine.
But it was probably a Merlot. And here we go.
Merlo Low Farms from Merlo Farm Farms that in Sinoma
(11:15):
County was the vintage. The vintage is how they aged
in transit. It looks like it's October. Did you see
that strange light in the sky? What the hell is it?
I assumed it was some sort of weather. But where
did you go? Where you? Okay, so we do remember something, right?
You remember that time I was doing a wine tasting
(11:36):
with my with my ex wine tasting. He is merlow
to run away from this. It's like your whole life.
I was tasting all kinds of stuff. I cycled back
to the Oh god, does anyone else remember? Does anyone
else have? Like any What did you do? F one fifty?
What do you mean? What did I do? You were
driving and then you got sucked up. I was like, no,
(11:56):
I wasn't driving. I was working on my car. Last
thing I remember of a car. You're working on your
car because when the oils of the f drip on
your body, you don't want anything in between you are.
You're calling your truck your car, because that's not usually
what truck owners could do. You said, my car was
working on my No I'm not. It's my it's my
(12:18):
it's my cruck, it's my truck, it's a car. We
didn't know you. We're not going to judge you. Complations.
It's hot in here? Can I take off my skin?
When you're a man, you want a truck that makes
you feel like a man. He can you turn this
out up? You want a four on the second TV?
Can you turn that up? Yeah? Do you want the
(12:38):
close captions onto? Yeah? Yeah, okay for def be a man? Hey?
Can you play that at again? It doesn't work like that. Hey, buddy,
what you're doing doing crazy? Yeah? I was just just
looking a little only over here, just looking at the TV.
You can tell that. Yeah, my name is Nancy. Nancy. Yeah,
(13:03):
what's your name? My name's for truck. That can't be right, No,
no it is. It's for truck. Okay, you're so funny.
I love for trucks. Darnell Glow, We're ready to see you.
That's my dog. I have to go for a second. Yes,
(13:27):
for my brother. Yes, no, it's for you, Darnell Arnell Glows,
Arnell Maurice Claw. Okay, yeah, yeah, that's that's not much
of a better name. That's I can understand why you
would call yourself a truck. I have a car. Oh um,
is it is it a truck? It's a it's a
cruck cruk. It's like a car truck exactly. What do
(13:51):
you want? Adventure? You want a car? And that helps
you feel it. The subtitles in Spanish this time. Okay,
wouldn't see that strange light in the sky? Actually, yeah,
I do for it, That's what I remember. And wait,
where were you? I was at a Buffalo wild Wings.
(14:13):
Did you get the dry rep? Yeah? And they do
a dental appointment to the back. So I was just
uh huh, And the commercial voiceover said, do you see
that strange light in the sky? Yeah? Okay, yeah, Look
I got abducted. If they were talking about strange things
that are happening, okay, they probably hacked into the feed,
and they got into the feed, yes, the feed. They
can travel through space. I think they can hack in
(14:34):
to a feed. Why would they bother? Why? I just
I don't know. They wanted my information about Ford trucks,
any information trucks, the doors opening doors? What do you want?
Why are we here? You continue experiment? Sure far, we
have experimented on your torch and this is the third term.
(14:57):
Excuse me? How long have we been here? Wait? I
had a question, are you calling on me? My eyes
are closed? He's talking true not I wasn't calling on anyone?
Can you calling me? When you say third time? Do
you mean as asked as individual. You have all been
her two terms before mind warped and Trump? Where am
(15:18):
I from? You are from benjama No, you're from Geneva.
Rest what the mind wife didn't really work? It's four
truck alright, Mr Truck. So far everybody's been doing a
(15:39):
great job. You just say that you have really bad breasts. Please,
I was going to compliment you on your command of
the English language. Thank you quite impressive. Can we open
our eyes? And what is your name? I mean you
can open your eyes if you wump? How are you
(16:00):
what I imagine? I think? Okay? If I opened my eyes?
How we refer to you? Referred to? Now? Isn't a
thing where your name is so complex that we couldn't
possibly understand and renounce it? Just don't work? My real name? For?
(16:24):
What's your real name? Yea? What is it? That's something
I couldn't pronounce yourself? You can't, Mrs President. Yes, but
we have information that there was a spaceship outside of
our space. You don't know that it's a ship. Well,
there's something out there. To see these reports? Okay, please
(16:44):
take a look at them. Is this for real this time?
Are you guys full on? Me again. Are you again
look at the calendar. It's not April first, all right,
because you did it on May second as well. I'm
just alight. Yes, this does these calculations do look to
be true, Madam President. Yes, if I could. What is
your name again? My name is Turner, Turner, Turner. How
(17:08):
many times do we have to go over the how
you refer to Madam President? Is she Mary walked in
here and said Mrs President's married to the office of
the Presidency. I don't. I just wanted to be respectful
in the moment of secretary. How does that sound? Just
follow up and I appreciate this, you know, Madam President
as another you know female, But why is the woman
(17:31):
married to the presidency? I never heard it say that
the man was married to the presidency. No, exactly my
point as well. That's why Mrs President makes no sense.
But no, but you said she's married to the office.
It sounded the way. Okay, so there's a status thing
happening in this room right now. Leonard is my number one.
(17:53):
Let's make that very clear. Everyone, very clear. Okay, we
call it number one. When you would be number one,
you are my number two. Turners too, because he's poop
because he's exactly. So he stands outside the bathroom door
for me and make sure that I do my job,
have a proper movement exactly. When you're a president and
(18:14):
a lady, you want a car that makes you feel
like a lady. Excuse me, I have to watch this commercial.
You want a car that makes you feel to listen
to that voice. You want Afford truck F one al Right,
I need a Ford truck F one fifty man. Please,
if you could just look at you, you are a okay,
(18:37):
you're a that just seems to be okay, poop, shut up, Look,
I follow you. People are gonna be missing us on
earth right now. Right D six is Donnie the six six?
(18:59):
Thank you for and bring hand there's a floating outside
Next week to find out if the body outside was
in fact Donny and why Bartholomewle speaks that way when
our adventure continues Jerks and space by four alrighty. Scene
(19:25):
number two comes from Cameron, who wrote, hey guys, thanks
for the extra episode every week. That's right Tuesdays and Thursdays.
A scene suggestion from Canada. Here, I spent a lot
of time walking and hiking with my dog. So I thought,
now you're just bragging. So I thought it would be
funny to hear the thoughts of dogs waiting to be
adopted from a shelter. Did you? Did you? Cameron? Thanks
(19:47):
for the laughs and I'm always excited to hear new episodes.
Cheers from Cameron Pressed in the country of Canada. I
don't know, Mama, I just want a dog. Well, you
don't know how to take care of things. Do well?
When I got you a parakeet, I mean you know
how that ended? He pick me? Hey, than I did
(20:10):
not know that the can't swim in gasoline. Well that
seems to be obvious. All right now, I brought you
to this shelter today to tease you about not having
a dog. Don't pick me. Yeah, we're looking for a dog.
This one right here saying I can't understand him. We're
looking for a dog. Speak clearer, We're looking for a dog.
(20:36):
Don't do well. We got dogs everywhere in all the cages.
I want to like my ask hey over here, over
here with this one. Mom scruffy, he's single, Mom, he
looks ill. I'm single. Yes, I am single. Thank you
for asking, Thank you for noticing my single them. You're welcome.
(20:57):
I could just get that single vava. Are you single?
But I don't know? Yes, I mean I'm a little malnourished.
I'm in a goddamn shelter. Come on, loc he looks
like he's on drugs. He looks like a dumb dump you.
Did you get the memo about the escape tonight? Yeah? Yeah, midnight? Right,
yeah yeah, midnight stroke at midnight. I just gotta figure
out how to tell time, and between now and then,
(21:20):
I can usually tell about the position of the moon.
So you'll let the rest of us now. Spotted dogs
are not spotted dog. I love spotted dog, but then
you might want to look at the ones with the
spots over there. You are very helpful. Thank you. Are
you single? Yes? I am already did quarters to play
(21:40):
the dog game. You have your own quarters dog game broken?
Ye give it a shake. So how long have you
been single? I didn't single for a lot. I don't
know ten years for my whole life. How did you
(22:00):
make that it was an accident? We're going to hit
it all. This is like a tragedy. Even three x
I dog a whole gotta lay on top of the
hold of the humans she's a whole. I dog for
the escape, the escape. I mean, that's that's just as poop.
If you go over there, you're just gonna rely in
(22:21):
the We're gonna for this again. Come here, look as
the whole. I don't belong here, It don't belong. This
is a mistake. Let it go. You see that one dog,
that one dog always poops and then lays on it
till the other dogs comeing sniff his coming and they
all end up eating the poop. I like how you
notice the little things in life. I guess I'm sort
(22:42):
of just you know, I don't know observing you. Your
face is so good. Wow, thank you more? Shut up here?
So anyway for one of us to get out here,
just to bite that kilde him a couple of fingers
through the whole. We can just get fingers. What are
(23:05):
you talking about that? Maybe we can't bite its old body,
but if we look cute now and he put his
fingers through the cap. You try, you trying. I'm very
scared here in the last thing I was with my
person and know I'm not. They died, they died. Did
(23:25):
you kill him? I accidentally killed them? Did you eat
their face? Afterwards, I know my life story, that's everyone's story.
Here done, and then we ate their face. That's that's respectful.
We're showing the respect. We're using the full the full body.
I did my best to resist it for like two hours.
I was like, yeah, maybe they'll come back to life.
(23:48):
Made it two days, But you went two hours before
eating their face. I thought I was restrained. I don't
know what time is. It's your kids gotta finger trapped
in the dog game. Ok, calm down, calm down, I
(24:11):
like that, dumb dumb don't make a big deal about this,
all right, don't ruin this for the dog game. Now,
come here, come here, come here. Okay, but I don't
know moves a lot of blood. Let me I can
turn the kid out of your mom's bra Oh whoops,
I'm sorry. I just wanted to save him. I wasn't
(24:32):
even thinking about Wow. Wow, you took it off without
me even noticing. You are impressive. You're a beautiful statue
is woman. You are just those fingers stop the bleeding
so fast? How do they do that? That's impressive? Right,
do so many things we can't. They have thumbs and
have thumbs and bras. Yeah, well, my owner had bra
(24:56):
before you it. What it's like? What strawberry? Strawberry? Strawberry?
I jesus she couldn't hear. I couldn't hear three cages away.
What do you got your ears? I don't know. I
don't thumbs. I can't dig it out. You're gonna cloud out.
I'm gonna bleed that one does looking to hear. Yeah,
(25:25):
I want to kind of fish it out. On the
other hand, I don't want to fish it out. I'll
fish it out for you. Okay, okay, look at this fishing.
Go to the hospital. Hey, hey, honey, you wanted a doll, right,
would you settle for a parent figure? Very good with you? Sweetheart?
(25:47):
Names Linda, Linda, Oh my god, you're never going to
believe this. What I guess what my name is? Linda? Yeah, Linda, Linda.
Oh my son's name? What's your name? Against? Sweetheart? Ford forward?
That's just me word Linda. Hey, it's me. Jake, Hi, Jake.
(26:11):
Long time, no sick, longtime. See I ran out of dogs.
I'm going to get Jake. I'm just a regular here
at this shelter. This guys takes ten that comes back
a couple of days later. Why what happens to all
(26:31):
the dogs? Dog fight? What happens to the dogs? Man?
What do you do? What kind of dogs you're looking for? Buddy? Oh? No,
sus that look like the put a good fat and
for your pattings. Think absolutely, it's for children that are
sick to get to pet a dog. One. You're not sick,
(26:52):
You're fine. Think he's just now a little We were
gonna keep the main ones over there. Let me get
some of them. Me one, just get in, I'd say,
any tent I'll do. I don't care up. Pull that
truck up back. I'm sorry? Did you just slap her?
But sorry, but that's just kind of a gentleman's handshake. Okay,
(27:17):
excuse me, Yeah, I got I got a little bit
of problem with gets how you're treating Linda right? Non
does my dad? That's not true, you need real daddy. Well,
my name is Jake Son. What's your name? Ford for board.
That's a good name. It reminds me of a truck
truck man, because trucks forward is a brand. Well for
(27:40):
why don't you come around back to me when we filip?
My pickups a bra and his finger? Really take that
thing off? No, no, no, no, no, honey eats saving him.
Please don't touch my bra Okay, that's fair. I'm gonna
bring my truck around back. You get those dogs ready,
all there, I'm gonna go with the man. Come on,
you think window would be onto this guy by now? Unbelievable.
(28:02):
She falls forward every time. People we have to choose from?
How many dogs do you want? What kind of a
question is that we're going to have to fight? Which
dog do you want? I don't fight. I'm not a fighter.
I'm a lover. I'm a lover. Once you get in
the ring, being a lover not gonna help you at all.
Well let's let's wait a second. Now, how how talented
are we in the loving area? Well, I'm very supportive.
(28:24):
My emotional strength is very large. What list in the
ring can't wait from me? I hope he's both like
to flight you you, I'd like to fly. Don't make
me fight you. I'd like you to just like ships totally.
(28:44):
Then we need to get some of these dogs. Put
him in the back, man, I'm trying to put him
in the back. How's this kid doing here? Man? This kid,
this kid needs a father figure. He almost got raised
by a couple of windows. Oh god, so they shut up. Boy,
we're gonna be going. I'm gonna show you what it's
like to be around dog fight. Come on, man, I
(29:05):
don't have the time, all the responsibility. It ain't gonna
take any extra white white, white, white white. Couldn't help it.
Over here, do y'all say dog fat dog? I was
talking about airplanes. I used to be a blue Angel.
I think I said dog fight. What does the dog
fight have to do the blue Angel? You call airplane
fights dog fights? Why when the airplanes fat? Well, I'm
back in World War Two the planes were fighting and
(29:28):
they called him dog fights. That's what I'm firing to
a sophisticated what Linda, I don't want to do the
things that I know how to do. We should include
cutting a person. Okay, I don't want to do that.
I wanted to believe you're a little sick kids story.
But Linda was telling me she thought it was a
line and said, no, no, Jake's not like that. And
then I come back and I hear this dog fight?
Hold on, how about this? Where are you are you?
(29:52):
My name is Cage. Your name is not Yeah, that's
my last name. Excuse me, y'all talking about dog fights? Yeah,
we are. It couldn't help knows that Ford pickup you're driving.
Can you tell me a little bit about it. We'll
tell you what it gets. It gets a good solid
four feet off the ground, and it's got a hundred
fifty RPMs and when I fill up that back in
(30:14):
the truck and can take at least twelve dollars. Hell yeah,
I'm driving an Escort hatchback myself. Who are you? What's
going on? There are a lot of men around enjoy
dog fights and Ford cars. How about we do this?
How about Cage? Yeah? How about me? And then? I
(30:35):
don't even know you and I love you, Jake. Alright,
Jake and Linda can fight Cage and we can eat
their faces. Hold on, let's make this interesting. Will be
Linda and Linda versus Jake and Cage where she just
the dogs and the boy. Wait, I don't want to
fight Linda to you, but we're going to fight the
(30:57):
Linda's Jakes. What what I'm saying is that I get
the kid. Yeah, I'm taking the kid from watch from
the back seat of my FOURD Escort. It's surprisingly room.
You'd be the referee. I want a fair fight. Put
one of you, one of you from each team into
the cage. Ld On, cage or cage this guy. Nobody's answering.
(31:22):
This is just not a ring. It's a cage, all right.
I know what to go in and one comes out.
That's the way we fight, alright. I don't care what
they just wait outside until the cheer. You cheer for
your to go in, one comes out. You thought to
the death here, I understood. I thought we agree to that.
So each team pick one opponent. Let's begin. I really
(31:44):
thought we were going to do all four of us.
But okay, okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry. You want all
four in the rings. So four go. We two cages.
This guy. We've never done this before. This is our friend, Paul's. Yeah,
the very specific rule. Okay, if if I don't, y'all
(32:09):
need to pick sides first, I'm gonna be with because
that's my friend. Which one are you again? Okay, you're
gonna thought Jake, my friend your cage, Nicholas. Yes, I
heard about you. Thank you bad Malone. I'd like to
I'd like to be on the team of the Ford Voice.
I'm leaving you. That is correct. Challenge you to to
(32:33):
go in one comment Linda to a bro. Now she's
scooting off with that guy. He's got them voice little
kid with a boy kid. I wanna do this for
you if I win your my son. All right, let's go.
I'll give you to whoever you want. And I'm fine
(32:53):
with all of this. The ring is the man side,
cage nakel the ladies side. Linda, that's right, Linda, T alright, no,
t t y Yeah, alright, because I like it, let's
(33:16):
do it. What what the hair catch? We're gonna fight
or not? I'm in the cage with her. Where are
your people from? From Minnesota? All place? I didn't grow
up there. That's where my people are. Prior to that
would be maybe Scandinavia probably. And you can adopt a dog.
I'll let you adopt a dog. See how this sends?
(33:36):
Thank god? See okay, all the humans are out in
the parking lot. If we're gonna make a breakthrough it,
this is the time. Let's let we're not going to
Where are we going? Oh man, I can't resist eating
that poop so bad. I've got a hole. This wall
(33:57):
with the poster of puppies on the outside. How do
we just get the poster down? Never as good as
it looks, it's never as good as Linda. Linda, he
just remunibles off and good at me. So sorry, I'm
so stupid thing that just because I was physically strong,
(34:21):
these dogs are coming in my face. Well, now this
fight's over, I better head back to the city. Well,
luckily my Ford escort gets incredible Miley. Yes. C number
two also brought to you by Ford f one. Remember
when you want to f one go to fart and
(34:46):
our thirds incomes from one meet who wrote, high ilcome.
That's I truly love some of the characters you all
have come up with. Lisa is my favorite, closely followed
by Marvin mckugh. Was it mc mcne i every so
many peoples a controversy. Every listener has heard the name differently.
(35:06):
In my mind it was McKee is spelled capital limb
see capital h u g H. Marvin mckugh, Marvin McHugh,
al right, well she's smelled it slightly different, but the
same pronunciation. And she goes on, so why not a
skit with both of them to people remember Lisa the
character Lisa? All Right, so we'll well, we'll focus on Marvin,
(35:29):
which this this premise actually does picture this. It's Marvin's
first day waiting tables at a restaurant. His trainer is
growing impatient with him as Marvin is old, slow and
just not getting it. You're all my favorite podcast. The
show makes life more interesting and overall enjoyable. I wish
I could have a new episode every day, but I
know you all have lives to keep up the great work.
Hugs and high fives one Nita, Marvin, you're good to start?
(35:54):
What's that? Are you good to start your day? I've
already started it. Line up with everybody. Please, let's get
all the servers in here, please, all right, Look, we
got a big buyout today. We got the entire four
team here. Okay, it's just a big deal for our
restaur may walk away with husband's okay, No one's walking
(36:15):
away with husbands. Were here to work. Sometimes work has
its perks. David is saying that we're closed to the public. Yes,
that's just for people. It's just it's just four myself.
Don't look for some of us. This may be the
last day in the restaurant business. So to all my
friends and all my teammates. I love you, and um
(36:37):
it's been real are you Are you quitting or not? No,
I'm not quitting. I'm just saying announcement. This is not
a daily announcement. This is special today. I've mentioned it before,
but sometimes you can meet people at a steakhouse. A
lot of people meet people at a steakhouse. When you've
got a corporate butt out at a steakhouse, you want
a Ford man, I would love Afford. All right, look,
(36:58):
can we please these cars are better? Do not do
not mention any other corm brands please. Okay, everyone, this
is Marvin McCoo am I saying that right? Nope? Okay,
and he is. He's going to be shadowing today. We're
not gonna make okay. We have to have him here
for at least a week, alright, so let's all right,
(37:18):
so let's just uh, let's all work together on. I
get what Joel is doing. He's making sure that we're
not all I candy. Okay, have to do the work. Okay,
thank you, Marvin, thank you. Okay, So Marvin, where'd you
work before here? I've worked a lot of places. I've
I've lived entire lifetimes. That was a radio DJ for
a while in Omaha. But your experience as a waiter.
(37:41):
I broke mustangs for a while in the Old West,
not Ford mustangs. That's fun that that was a numbers
runner for mafia. Okay, all right, that's good Marvin. Alright,
So let's let's all just remember we were. We have
the same in special we want to sell. That's a bosmati,
(38:02):
rice and asparagus crew to te al Right. We also
a steakhouse, right, yes it is. We also have good fish. Okay,
everyone knows good steakhouses have great fish. All right? Do
they know that we know? Marvin? Please? Marvin? Okay, So okay,
they're coming in. Okay, great, Who can I talk to? Whoever?
Is So, what we're trying to do is we want
(38:24):
to have everything, sir, family style and family style. So
I don't really want to leave it up to each table.
Because don't want to leave it up to each table.
Is this what is this some sort of a parrot? Oh?
I'm sorry, Sarah, I just doing I'm just backing you up.
I'm just you know, making sure that everything gets done efficiently.
Thank you. So you're saying, sir, no menus, you want
just the white staff and just bring the food out
(38:46):
like we're servants. Devin, come on, Devin, relax. I mean
it's every time. Would be happy to comply. I can
everyone just go to their tables, thee to run out
to my Honda Civic. You just a little joke within
the restaurant. That's a that's a local joke. Local. It's
(39:07):
a local, it's not a local. The joke is that
it's a joke, not a local. It's not a local.
It's a joke. Car. We think it's a piece of ship,
the car, so we love for We were making fun
of that. We were making fun of it at a
Ford Man. He's very funny. Do you guys want any
entertainment at the table? Janet? Did we order entertainment? Sir?
We did order entertainment. We ordered a violinists. That's what
(39:29):
I thought. We have our own entertainment coming. I don't
exactly know what. I don't know. It was just it's
a crazy idea. Don't ask me. I was going to dance,
all right. I'm gonna leave you in charge. Thank you, okay, sir,
thank you. Don't mess this up. I'm going to try
to not mess this up, you know, what happens to
a yes man that makes a mistake, They jump out
a window. They jump with their own free will out
(39:50):
of window. That's right, sir, understood. Back I felt it
seems like a pleasant fellow to work. He's wonderful. Stitch
out there? Oh excuse me? What's the sitch out there?
It's a business meeting and um we are. There's a
lot of steak today steak. Um. So as a server
(40:12):
and dancer, I was just wondering what's going on out there?
Who do we have at the table we're going to
be eating food? Um? We have several uh men who
will be there right right, ride right, family and a
couple of women. Um no, I'm sorry, what are you
getting at. I'm just wondering if there's any knowledgible batch
Oh oh gosh, um yeah, well yes, there are several
(40:37):
single people. Okay, I'm gonna miss par Part of the
reason why we want to invest is in the new
Chassiss is because it's not it's not just that they're
stronger and they have a better flexibility. It's partly because
it's it's just gonna be. It's for the future, right,
We're gonna want to go electric Chad. Hold one second, sir,
(40:57):
could we get could we get? Hello? I'm love and
I'm shadow wing today. Right? Could you are you work
here though? Yeah? Well I'm hoping to. Oh we need
to get some cocktails, Rice, No, don't cut them off.
Some cocktails, fella, Okay, I would like a vodka gimlet. Yeah,
(41:17):
i'd like okay, getting alright, roda gimblet getting it? Hold on?
Hold on? What is a couple of orders? Hold on?
You want to write this? There are we having any
issues over here? Timy, Hello, Tibby toy? Can you tell
anybody want a hot piece of meat? Does this elderly
gentleman put your hand on tibby pardon me? Does this
elder gentleman work here as well? Oh? This is Mervyn
(41:41):
Mackie and he we're helping him out, so so we
can get cocktails from you? Absolutely? All right? Vodka okay,
that's right. Yeah, we've got a bodka gimlet. And what else?
I like a vodka bourbon? Vodka bourbon? Okay, And what
about for you? I'll do a I'll do a drift. Drift.
(42:06):
I'm familiar and I will make it for you. Get
out of your men, I'm supposed to be shadowing you. Yeah,
a shadow is silent. A shadow is like right over
your shoulder. No shadows. It depends on where the sun is.
What's the buzz muddy? Right? You look like a couple,
(42:27):
we're not. It seems like you're a couple. We're not
a couple. We know we couldn't. We just met today.
I am single, a single, Yes I am. No, I'm
not gonna he's an aspiring server. Okay. And you can't
touch people like that? Yes, how do you do? I
(42:52):
do very well. I see that you talking to two people.
I was in the middle of a conversation, but not
such a important conversation I could. It's not a please
please no no, no, no, no, no, please please please no,
please please no, please excuse me, Mr Ford. Yes, I
see that you're talking to some people interrupted by a person. Well, honestly,
I could have a conversation with both of you two
(43:12):
at the same No. No, no, no, no, no no, no, no,
please no, it's not brought by that again. Okay, so
we all know what we're talking about. It's pretty what
we're talking about. Chassis that can go both electric and gasoline. Oh,
is that not that not what you guys were. Is
that not what you Jannet? I thought everybody was prepped
(43:34):
on us. I say, drinking vodka, gimblet, I'm thirsty, I'm
sure did I over here? You've got chassis that go
with gasoline or elect drink. I'm just trying to prepare
for the future, right, So you've got hybrid chassis. Yes, absolutely,
we're working on it. So you've got investments. The undercarriage
in the frame of the vehicle. Did someone say undercarriage?
(43:57):
Can I get you? Morvin? Okay, what is going on?
Ordered to drift? What is buddy? Come here? But what
the hell is this drift? You punched this in? Yeah,
I punched it in. Okay, What the funk is this?
The er? They ordered to drift? What the fund is that?
(44:18):
What is that? You make drinks for a living? Yeah?
I do? Tommy, never heard of a drift? No, I
never heard of a drift. Is this guy's fault? It's
not my fault? First of all, go easy on new guy,
all right, Like this game reminds me of my dad exactly.
Let's leave our personal ship at home, Tommy, how many
times I have a lot of kids, I don't know
about a drift? Is it's just an I p a.
(44:41):
It's a beer. Get the drift. Sorry, just got a
couple of cases in last night. Sorry, Sorry, Okay, Mervin, Mervin,
can I have a moment? Okay? You're ruining my life? Mervin?
How am I ruining your life? I gotta blow out? Okay,
my blast broke perfectly. Okay, you can't be of a ring.
There's no spark between us, Mervin. I am going to
(45:03):
meet an exact today and get out of this fucking Applebee's. Well. Well,
I'm sorry that sounded like you're mocking me. I'm sorry
if I felt that we had a little bit of
a spark. Okay, I just want to be emphatic. So
you know that I'm coming from a place. You've got
(45:24):
a little not on your shoulders. Can I help help
me work that out? Hell's going on? Back here? What helped? Timmy?
What's going on? Oh? I can move my arm again?
How is this moving the Bosmati Rice? That's what I
want to Oh my god? I mean Mervin and I
have our issues. But he did push the Bosmati Rice?
You did, Marvin? I pushed the ship out of it. Okay,
(45:46):
then how many orders do we have? It's family style,
so there's no ordering. It's all going out for the table.
Let's get it out. Yeah, so I took this twenty
three and me and in the results. Let me to you, Marvin. Wow. Yeah,
what's your name? My name is Derek. Well you're a
(46:09):
good looking kid. Yeah. My mom said that you you
guys had a thing for a weekend many many years ago. Yeah,
altimont right, yeah right, those were crazy times. So like,
what are you up to? Like you must be doing
something amazing with your life. Well, I'm learning to be
a server at Applebee's. Applebee's. Yeah, it's a steakhouse, but
(46:32):
we also have good fish. Oh okay, well man, I
can probably get your employee discount on the food. I
actually need a job. Oh really yeah, well you can.
You can shadow me shadow of the shadow with Okay, guys,
line up, line up here. All right, So we got
we have a new person, new shadowing Derek. Derek, he's
(46:53):
my kid, that's Marvin's Is that real? Is that really
your son? Okay, uh, I'm still here. Go ahead, mock me,
go ahead, morning, good morning, Okay, So we have another buyout.
Apparently it's some kind of extraterrestrial corporation. Uh, they come
down here and they just really want to They want
(47:14):
to blow out, so it's gonna be nuts. Yeah. They
want to do it like a big party, a big party. Um,
so maybe we don't get blow out the business. I'm
not exactly a gentleman named Bartholome. Hit me up. I'll
just die here. So let's all make sure we got
some special today. We got We just got soups. They
just wanted soups. Yes, that's I was just wondering if
(47:41):
you skirt um personal gli oh. I think we're all
like no, no, no, I want out. I want out,
and anyone else want group tation will pull. I don't
(48:05):
don't take it away. She is my only friend here.
I don't know you. Well, I'll track both of usual.
I come, are we not serving your party lunch today?
Having turned on a quick trip up to spurs up
to space. That's funny, okay, So okay, we get you
(48:27):
a drink while you're waiting another drift. Fantastic, we're moving
the drift. This is exciting, but we're trying to share
firm or storm so super family style okay. So by
thought on me was clearly left us alone on the
space ship. If we're gonna break out, this is the
(48:48):
time to do it. Okay, everyone, we don't know that.
We don't know that. We don't know that. I think
that your head explodes if you break out of a
space and how can we be starting We're even on
our space ship for realists, real I mean, I see it.
It must be real. But it could be a set.
This is Hollywood. No, I mean it could know once
you get behind the wheel of what do you think
this is Hollywood? Like you knew this was Hollywood. Well,
(49:10):
we're in space. This is the same flat Earth guy.
This is the flat Earth guy. You think everything's just said?
Everything's fake? Sorry, looked out the window on the Earth
dead body floating outside. So something real is happening here. Okay,
Oh we just got two new people. Oh my gosh,
Oh my gosh. Where are you guys from? That's the
(49:31):
first question. Well, I'm from all over the place. It's
kind of a hard day. But what state are you from?
We were at Apple Bay's. I've lived in all fifty states.
Where are you from? Where do you live? Anyone in
corporate here? Why are you naked? Driving up fifty and
the plus Marolinas for a while, and then I lived
(49:52):
in Hawaii all seven islands, and then I was in
gingerma O. He did I've been saying, gentlemen that I
was born in Gingermen. Oh, it was beautiful where it's
right in the middle. Of course, it is right in
(50:14):
the middle of the country here, so right in the
middle of the country. Never never get used to that smell. Well,
you're a productors about to be destory. You couldn't look
at it all the previously printed wall, it's rusion. Previously
painted wall. Well, we rose the wall it was painted.
Quick question if that is in fact your name? Why
(50:37):
are why are you guys destroying? We've chose to you
to be the next Earth ringers on planet Earth number two?
Number two? Oh? Can I follow up question Earth too?
Is it also flat? Because this is very disappointed. It
just looks flat because you're looking at it from this perspective.
Or fruits role doesn't have bananas? Of course? Does it
(50:58):
have pack dogs? That doesn't like that is his whole
That is your whole identity. That is all you are.
Do you want me to get you some mer low
doesn't have an we can't serve here. There's no kitchen here.
It looks like we're repopulating a new world. I'm not
going to be Marvin no Oh, I'm a servant. I'm
(51:22):
having Marvin shoulders. Well, at least we've got that. I
don't know the world. Is there a specific reason you
chose us by the way, I mean, it seems so random.
Were exchanged random because your wines were wiped every wonderfu
you asked if you want to dree Oh, it's just
(51:44):
like manners of course what we wanted to leave. We're here,
are you should? You want to script the earth and
be probed again? I mean, let's in probri missions as
you maker third, you've never complained to bart it. You're
afraid of rip it burns for Probram Robert. You're running
(52:09):
into it. Horror, horror, so sweet I get that from you.
It turns out we don't need any more problem because
you're all halter. Oh, go ahead, it's fine. It's fine experiment,
but you've done probing. Right when we get on the ship,
we're finally involuntary exactly my life. Some of you have
(52:29):
been up your shovel cars. This is my first time
I'm pretty sure if you really want to reprove I
would like that. Thank you weren't to be it's not
in public. It's fine. We've got time and OK, friend Harvin,
I need to do this alone. All right, I'll be
right back with my Probram. Do I follow you? I can,
(52:53):
I can go with you. By the way. Uh, that
in fact includes our scenes for today. I want to
thank all of our alchemists. Carla Kakowski, thank you so
much for joining us having me. Uh where where should
folks look to find you and your marvelous talents at
(53:14):
Carla Katkowski on Twitter. It's correct, Vanessa, And we're going
to Dynasty typewriter soon. Yeah. What upcoming shows are you
excited for? The Okay, we just had Michelle Wolf and
I've got to say Powerhouse Beyond. I can't sing it
(53:35):
loud enough. Great. It was so exciting. And if people
are only familiar from the Daily Show, dig deeper deep
major like Killer, and then we've got Adam Sandler coming up.
We've got so much great stuff. Ye come and hang
out and June is going to be a bunch of delights.
Um work to s improv. We got we got so
many good things come to the calendar Dynasty Typewriter dot com.
(53:58):
That's so many calendars, James Calendars. Well, I believe this
should be dropping sometimes near the E three. I'm gonna
be doing E three coverage for game Front, So if
you're interested in video games, please check out game front
dot com. Fantastic. And what if you're not interested, well
then you could just check me out on Twitter at
the heat Okay, good, good, good good Joey Greer Hello,
(54:19):
uh that's it at jeby Grieber on Instagram spelled as
it sounds alright and Westide Comedy Theater, second and fourth, Wednesday,
nine o'clock. Craig Atkowski at Kaikowski on Twitter. Also at
Craig's List cast, What is it for the craigs List podcast,
(54:45):
which is grinding slowly to an exciting conclusion. We're getting
close to it's getting round looking for to the banana
in the morning. Let's all get very special thanks today
to uh, I'm just gonna allam our savior, Mr Doug Babe,
because he's not only making this show possible, but saved
(55:07):
the live shows in such a way with his unique
talents and um, we're thrilled equally and mutually to to
have him in our lives and he's so yeah, no,
it's crazy. So thank you and also Raphael Brito. Sound
design artists are producer Sophie Lichteman. Fine, folks in I
(55:31):
heart media. I encourage all of you to write a review. Please,
it helps so much. However, you listen to podcasts uh
go their right reviews. Let folks know what you think
of the show. It really does help and we greatly
appreciate all of your support. Right to us, as always
your name here at alcovey this dot com. I'm your host,
Kevin Pollock. Thanks again for listening to this episode of Okay,
(55:56):
Yeah and a Football Pepper and a Football Pepper
Alchemy This News
Host
Kevin Pollak
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