Adults can enjoy parallel play too

Spend time with friends while you each do your own thing

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
This is Laura, Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
tip is that if you are looking to spend more
time with a friend, consider getting together while you each

(00:23):
do your own thing. This will create more time together
without sacrificing the opportunity to do whatever activities you each
want or need to do. So. If you have observed
Toddler's playing, you will notice that playing together often means
playing while near each other, but not actually playing with

(00:46):
each other. Annie is building a tower of blocks while
Kelsey is in her play kitchen. Jake is playing with
a firetruck while Allison is also playing with a firetruck,
but there is almost no chance they will collaborate on
putting out the same fire. As kids grow and develop,
they discover the pleasures of truly playing with a friend,

(01:11):
but until then, proximity creates its own form of connection.
Being together while doing your own thing can be a
way for adults to strengthen their sense of connection as well.
Adults can enjoy parallel play too. In a recent New
York Times article, friendship coach Danielle Bayard Jackson and Davidson

(01:34):
College psychology professor Katherine Bagwell describe how parallel play can
work for adults. While kids don't necessarily interact much during
parallel play, adults often chat a bit while they are
engaged in their own activities. They suggest that one friend
might knit while the other cooks, or one friend might

(01:56):
garden while the other sketches the plants she sees in
the garden. Now, obviously certain sorts of parallel play aren't
going to work. You can't really go for a run
while your friend paints at home and expect to enjoy connection.
It might not even work to both read your separate
books together. I mean, that could be fun, but you

(02:19):
might wind up chatting and distracting each other. But other
activities don't require such full focus. You and a friend
could meet up at a coffee shop and both work
on your twenty twenty four photo books together, or do
separate crossword puzzles. Or you could meet up at your
house and you do a puzzle while she colors in

(02:42):
a coloring book. As adults, we have limited free time,
and so it makes sense that we'd want to spend
our free time doing things that we actually like. And
it's great if you have friends who really like the
same things that you do. I have friends I run with,
or walk with, or even podcast with, and that is awesome.

(03:04):
But we might also want to spend more time on
our personal pursuits and spend more time with friends. The
good news is that these desires can sometimes overlap. Parallel
play means space for our own fun with the pleasure
of good company, which can be the best of both worlds.

(03:28):
If you try parallel play, I'd love to hear how
it goes. You can reach me at Laura at Laura
vandercam dot com. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks
for listening, and here's to making the most of our time.

(03:52):
Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas,
or feedback, you can reach me at long Laura at
Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia.
For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app,

(04:15):
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.