Bad news doesn't improve with age

Don't delay sharing information that someone needs to know

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
tip is that bad news rarely improves with age. If
you need to share news that you know will disappoint

(00:26):
or anger someone, or will require a big shift in plans,
don't delay. It is rarely helpful, and it is sometimes
harmful to hold bad news. Deliver it soon and everyone
can begin to move on. If you have ever been

(00:49):
the recipient of bad news, you know that in general,
the hardest moments come right afterwards. There might be grief
or anger or worry, but those arrive on the scene
pretty fast. If it's clear you're going to need to
change plans, that will likely be obvious too, and these

(01:11):
emotions are hard. But after the initial flood or sense
of new responsibility, you start processing all of that. You
start making a plan for the steps you need to take.
As you do that, the shape of the problem starts
to become clearer, and you start marshaling the resources to
deal with it. Doing that can start making the situation better.

(01:38):
The problem with delaying information is that the grief and
anger are inevitable, as is the moving forward. But waiting
raises the specter of you being perceived as untrustworthy or
people making decisions that they wouldn't have otherwise. The bad
news isn't going to get better with time, but the

(02:00):
situation itself could get more complicated, as can your relationship
with anyone who needs to know. So for example, if
you have lost your job, it is best to tell
your spouse right away. He'll want to support you and
form a plan to gather for how you'll navigate the
job search and the loss of your paycheck. If you

(02:23):
delay telling him, he may feel angry at being left
in the dark, and he may have incurred an expense
he wouldn't have if he'd known about the circumstances. This
may not be the time to book that surprise trip
to New Zealand. I mean, maybe it is if you
are completely financially comfortable, since you won't have to hurry

(02:44):
back to a job. But if your job loss will
materially affect the family, then it is good to tell
the people it will affect. If your cat got hit
by a car, tell your kids immediately. They are never
going to be happy about it, of course, but you

(03:05):
will threaten their trust if they find out that you
knew the cat had died, but let them think he
was just wandering around and might come home now. Obviously,
there are exceptions. Occasionally it does make sense to delay
sharing bad news. For instance, if you have a health

(03:25):
diagnosis that you need to share, you may decide to
do that after a loved one's wedding this weekend. If
you know your spouse is giving a huge presentation at work,
you do not need to call to tell about that
major roof leak right before, especially if you have already
called the appropriate professionals and are dealing with it. You

(03:50):
can fill her in afterwards. But those are exceptions. In general,
bad news doesn't improve with age, So if you need
to deliver bad news, think through what's likely to happen
when you share the news, and unless that chain of
events is likely to be far worse today than it

(04:11):
would be at some specific time in the future, deliver
the bad news now. By sharing the bad news sooner
or the worst of the response will be behind you
and you can all start dealing with the emotions or
tasks you need to handle. But you won't lose people's
trust in the process. Holding onto that is a bit

(04:36):
of good news, even if the overall news is grim.
In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and
here's to making the most of our times. Hey, everybody,

(04:58):
I'd love to hear from him. You can send me
your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod
that's b E the number four, then breakfast p o D.
You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast
Podcasts at iHeartMedia dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled

(05:21):
out with all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I
look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a
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