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June 2, 2021 5 mins

With remote work, assuming the best from colleagues is wise

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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is to not assume the worst. When you
are working remotely, as many people are these days, it's

(00:24):
easy to assume that silence, delays or short replies are nefarious,
but they usually aren't, So don't jump to negative conclusions
and ruin your day when you don't need to. More
than a year after the pandemic started, many people are
still working from home, which is great. Many knowledge jobs

(00:47):
can be done remotely, at least part time. I'm thrilled
with all the time and gas money people are saving.
But when you are working by yourself at home, certain
cues can be missing. In the absence of communication, it
is easy to assume the worst. For instance, let's say

(01:07):
you email your boss a new idea you had on
a project. If you were working in an office, you
might see that she was not at her desk and
in fact was deeply involved in a long meeting with
her supervisor in a nearby conference room. You'd know that
she hadn't responded for several hours because she was doing
something else. Most likely, she hadn't even read your note.

(01:30):
Yet when you're working from home, you don't see this context.
So when you don't get an email back in the
next hour saying hey, great idea, let's definitely explore this,
your brain might start working on other explanations. She hates
my idea, she never likes any of my ideas. Why

(01:51):
do I even bother trying around here? I knew this
would never work out. I'm no good at this end.
Oh my goodness. To say this is unproductive is a
massive understatement. Or maybe you're working with someone you haven't
worked with much before. You send a note explaining the
schedule for your upcoming project. You get back a short

(02:14):
sounds good. If your new colleague said this to you
in person, you might get a smile and a nod
and an indication that he's really excited about the project
and that he thought your schedule was flawless, so there's
really no point in him changing anything. In other words, yep,
it sounds good. But since you don't get any of

(02:35):
these emotional cues, and since written words are automatically perceived
as more negative than spoken words, well, you might assume
he doesn't care much about the project. You start worrying
about working together. What have you gotten yourself into. You
start with a negative thesis about your new colleague and

(02:56):
then you look for evidence to support it. This is
not going to bode well for the project, so don't
do it. Don't assume the worst wherever possible, assume the best,
or at least an explanation that is marginally positive. Yes,
I guess it is theoretically possible that your boss may

(03:18):
hate your ideas and be secretly plotting to fire you.
Do you really think that's the case. Better to assume
that she will like your idea, she just hasn't gotten
the chance to focus on it yet. Better to assume
that your colleague isn't difficult, and that sounds good means
just that it all sounds good. Assuming the worst burns

(03:40):
all kinds of time and energy. Assuming a better explanation
allows us to make allowances for all we don't know. Yes,
of course, sometimes things go badly, but in general, most
colleagues want to work together well. When we understand that
working remotely sometimes keeps us from seeing the whole context,

(04:03):
we can take that into account, and that allows us
to get a lot more done in the meantime. This
is Laura. Thanks for listening and here's to making the
most of our time. Hey everybody, I'd love to hear

(04:24):
from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,
or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook
and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod. That's B the number four,
then breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me
an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media

(04:44):
dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all
the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward to staying
in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I heart Radio.
For more pod casts from I heart Radio, visit the
i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen

(05:05):
to your favorite shows. M

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Laura Vanderkam

Laura Vanderkam

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