Don't talk yourself into it

If you aren't excited, you can say no

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is that you shouldn't talk yourself into things.
If you keep trying to come up with reasons to

(00:23):
do something that might be a sign that you don't
actually want to do it, you can save yourself a
lot of time and bother by just saying no. I
know that Before Breakfast listeners are productive and ambitious people,
so I'm sure you have opportunities coming to you all

(00:45):
the time. It is certainly flattering to have people reach
out to you with prestigious professional and personal options. You
know that lots of people would love to do these things. Indeed,
there are plenty people who spend a lot of time
and energy pitching themselves for these opportunities that just land

(01:06):
in your lap. And so I imagine you have had
versions of this conversation with yourself in your head. M
It wouldn't take too much time. It might introduce me
to interesting people. I've been thinking about branching out into
that area. I'll probably learn something about X, Y or Z. Well,

(01:28):
if you look at it on a per hour basis,
it's pretty reasonable that might look good if I ever
try applying for X, Y or Z and so on.
I'm not saying these arguments aren't true, but here's the thing.
When we truly want to do something, we don't have
to hunt around for explanations of why we really should

(01:48):
want to do it. Your best friends scores front road
tickets on the fifty yard line to see your favorite
football team play their top rival. You're thinking logistics, not rationales.
CEO of your company taps you to lead your dream project.
You're already hiring for your team in your mind, not

(02:09):
asking if it's the right thing to do. Yes. Sometimes
we feel nervous about things, and we need to address
those nerves. But there's a difference between those inner explanations
where you are arguing with yourself that you shouldn't do something,
and there's inner arguments when you're arguing that you should.
I think we need to look at both of these critically.

(02:32):
So instead of trying to talk yourself into things, try
to other tactics first, and especially if the work for
this opportunity will be happening a while in the future,
ask yourself, if you would do it tomorrow, would you
be willing to get on a plane or cold called
twenty people or whatever it is tomorrow. If the answer

(02:54):
is no, you are not going to magically be more
excited in two months when this opportunity comes to fruition.
So be kind to your future self and say no. Second,
figure out what else you could do with the time.
When people are asked to do something, they often compare

(03:15):
that too nothing and most things look better than nothing,
But that is not the right comparison. You are a
productive and ambitious person. You could definitely arrange some awesome
things in your life if you tried to. If you
don't go give that talk to people who might theoretically

(03:38):
be useful, You could go visit your best friend's family instead.
You could take an overnight hiking trip somewhere beautiful. You
could spend a day fully focused on deep work and
strategic planning for your career. Those are all pretty amazing ideas.
Is this opportunity better than that? Sometimes yes and sometimes no.

(04:07):
If the answer is no, then pay attention to how
much explaining you are doing to yourself. You don't need
to talk yourself into things. Just use this script. Thank
you so much for thinking of me. Unfortunately I'm not
going to be able to take this on, but I
wish you the best of luck with the project. Then

(04:27):
go use the time for something else your future self well.
Thank you. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening,
and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

(04:50):
I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod
that's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D.
You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast
podcast at iHeartMedia dot com. That Before Breakfast is spelled

(05:13):
out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look
forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production
of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio,
visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows.