Feedback is about the person giving it

Everyone likes different things

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
Good Morning, This is Laura, Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
Today's tip is that feedback is about the person giving it.
It can be helpful or unhelpful, but it is important
to keep it in perspective. I recently reread Tara Moore's
book Playing Big, which has lots of helpful tips about

(00:38):
finding your voice and becoming more influential. More reminds readers
that feedback from your target audience is incredibly helpful, but
with feedback in general, you have to keep in mind
that it is simply telling you about the person who
is giving it, nothing more. Here is one quick exercise

(01:01):
More suggests as a way to realize this. Think about
a book you read recently that you enjoyed. Now go
to Amazon and read the reviews. Read a five star
review and read a one star or two star review,
because for almost every major book there are going to

(01:24):
be some of both. Sometimes these polar opposite reviews can
even be talking about the same thing.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
Someone thinks the characters are wildly inventive. Someone else thinks
they're unbelievable. All that feedback really tells you is that
the first person likes characters who require a little more
imagination that get you into a different world. The second

(01:54):
likes characters that you feel you already know. Now, neither
is particularly right. It might matter which reader is in
the target market, but you don't really get to stand
there in a bookstore or library and dictate who picks
it up. Now, if you'd like to get your book
published by a particular publisher and the editor who acquires

(02:19):
your kind of fiction likes characters in a certain style,
well that feedback will matter if you want that particular outcome.
But with a lot of feedback to eat your own. Now,
if you get a lot of a particular kind of
feedback and it resonates with you, incorporate it. If you

(02:42):
get a lot of feedback that doesn't resonate with you,
but those people aren't in your target market and aren't
decision makers, and whether your project sees the light of day,
well feel free to thank people for their feedback and
move on. This is so important because I have seen

(03:03):
people try to adjust their entire style based on say,
one review left on a podcast. I have seen people
wither based on one critical comment on their outfit or
something like that. Once upon a time, people could only
give such feedback in person, which tempered the comments a bit.

(03:27):
Once you are over the age of eight or so,
very few people will flat out insult someone to their face,
but online people can become playground tyrants. Again. Now again,
this isn't to say some feedback isn't helpful. I have
had incredibly helpful editors in my life. I've also had

(03:49):
not so helpful editors. I've had readers give suggestions which
changed my whole insight on something. It is truly a
beautiful thing. I've also had readers give what sounds like
really horrible suggestions. So you just have to realize that
feedback only tells you about the person giving it. It

(04:10):
tells you if they liked your work or they didn't,
or something they thought worked or didn't. It doesn't fundamentally
say whether your work is good or not. When you
realize that, you feel free to incorporate what is helpful,
but keep your sense of self and control over your
work when it isn't helpful. There are a lot of

(04:34):
critics in the world, so best to keep that mindset.
In the meantime, this is Laura, Thanks for listening, and
here's to making the most of our tax Thanks for

(04:55):
listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback,
you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.
Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts
from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

(05:18):
wherever you listen to your favorite shows.