How to push back

Advice from management expert Alison Green on when you can say no

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of My Heart Radio.
Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is about how to push back respectfully when
somebody makes an unreasonable request at work. Today's tip, like

(00:23):
some will cover next week, comes from management expert Allison
Green's book Ask a Manager. In this book, she covers
all sorts of sticky situations that make the workplace a
bit less wonderful. In a perfect world, everyone would be
mature and emotionally aware, no one would ever ask for

(00:44):
anything unreasonable. Alas, we work with human beings who, like us,
are wrapped up in their own dramas. What often happens
is that people have no idea what goes into your job,
and so they have no idea what's reasonable and what isn't.
When I was having some home renovation work done, I

(01:04):
visited a contractor who'd put a cartoon on the wall
featuring a couple asking for their entire house to be
gutted and redone for some pittance. The beleaguered contractor in
the cartoon suggested that perhaps they've been watching a bit
too much h G TV, So it goes in the
rest of life for instance, maybe a colleague keeps giving

(01:24):
you last minute work. Is she a terrible person? Maybe,
but maybe in her mind it's a small request, or
she cluelessly believes it's the only thing you have on
your plate and ask a manager. Green suggests keeping this
mindset that she may not even realize that what she's
doing is a problem. So how can you explain that

(01:46):
it is a problem and solve it? Try this script?
Is there a way for me to get this type
of work earlier? It can take a while to turn
it around, and when I have other looming deadlines, it's
hard to fit it, and when I don't have more notice. Ideally,
I'd like at least a few days with this kind
of thing, since I'm fitting it in around other priorities.

(02:09):
And if it keeps happening, well, maybe make her deadline
not your problem. I can try to fit this in,
but I had most of today and tomorrow scheduled for
other work. Is there any wiggle room on the deadline
for this since it's coming to me so late? If
you've got clearance from your boss for something else that
really has to get done, first, mentioned this and then
just smile and let her figure out how to deal

(02:31):
with this reality, or perhaps you have a colleague who
keeps asking you to do something that really isn't your job.
As Green notes, you probably don't want to directly say
that's not my job. And true all hands on deck situations,
everything is everyone's job. But for day to day stuff,
you're best off explaining why you're not the right person,

(02:52):
and if possible, who might be some scripts. I'm on
deadline with high priority X, and I've got to stay
focused on that, so I can't help. Unfortunately, you can
again cite your manager and note that you've been told
to focus exclusively on cleaning up some other backlog. Now,
of course, the problem with the busy excuse is that
you might want to make sure that your computer screen

(03:14):
is an obviously tuned to online headlines that have nothing
to do with your job as you're saying this, And
this is why I prefer Green's other potential script, which
takes the focus off time and puts it back on
the actual work. M hmm. You might say, I'm not
usually the person who handles that. I think Pablo is,

(03:35):
and he should be able to help you, because, honestly,
a big part of solving the problem of unreasonable requests
is as green notes, believing that it's okay to protect
your own time and say no to this kind of thing.
If you truly internalize this, then you're more naturally push
back in a friendly but confident way. If you're not

(03:55):
a millionaire and someone asked you for a million dollars,
you'd laugh, shrug it off with a simple wish I
could help you there. You wouldn't agonize ever your answer.
And just like you don't have a million dollars, you
don't have all the time in the world either. We
can save our help for the reasonable requests. That is,
the ones where there is a clear objective, we know

(04:17):
we can help and the person has enough relationship capital
with us where we want to do what we can
Absent that. This is withdrawals without deposits. No one can
sustain that for long. So what will you push back
on today? In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening,

(04:39):
and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,
I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod.

(05:00):
That's b E. The number four then Breakfast p o D.
You can also shoot me an email at before Breakfast
podcast at i heeart media dot com that before Breakfast
is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,
I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is

(05:22):
a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from
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