It's not my favorite

You can express negative opinions tactfully

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
tip is to find a phrase to express your preferences tactfully,
and teach your kids to do the same. Some folks

(00:27):
grew up being told that if you don't have anything
nice to say, don't say anything at all, and there
is wisdom in this. Nobody wants to be around people
who are always criticizing and complaining. If you aren't being
asked for your feedback, and especially if there's nothing to
be done to change a situation, it is often better

(00:50):
to keep your opinions to yourself. But there are also
times when you do have to say something, such as
when you are asked directly what you think. In general,
it is not a good idea to lie or to
tell your kids that it is okay to lie. So
that means that there is wisdom in having a phrase

(01:12):
that allows you to express your opinion in a tactful way.
I know of a family whose kids use the phrase
it's not my favorite to acknowledge their dislikes. They are
adventurous eaters, but like everyone, they have some foods that
they don't love. If there serve foods they don't like,
they will eat a reasonable amount without drama, But if

(01:36):
they are asked about the food, they will say politely,
it's not my favorite. If you ask their opinion of
a book or movie or restaurant they don't love, you
will get the same response, it's not my favorite. Experiences
they don't like get the same description, how as performing
in the class play being on stage isn't my favorite.

(01:57):
They are not uncomfortable expressing their preferences, but the tone
isn't negative or critical, and they don't insult something that
someone else likes. They don't say ooh, that's gross about
a food they don't like, and thus make people who
do like that food feel bad. It's not my favorite
is about their preferences, not a demand for the way

(02:20):
the world has to be. I think this is a
great phrase, and there are others that are similar. Sometimes
people use it's not for me to get it the
same thing. If you are asked about the decor of
a new restaurant, you could comment on how cohesive it is,
but acknowledge that the decor is not for you. When

(02:43):
asked about a book or movie or TV show and
a genre that would never appeal to you. It's not
for me conveys all you need to same for an
Instagram account you find annoying, a cookbook author you find pretentious,
or Halloween decorations that strike you as tacky. If you
are asked your opinion, it's not for me works just

(03:05):
as well. Sometimes when I am asked point blank about
things I don't want to get too into the details on,
I'll say something like I haven't thought much about it.
I can avoid expressing an opinion, which is sometimes the
right call. If like me, you sometimes wish your kids
would complain a little less, you could try modeling one

(03:28):
of these phrases in front of them until they start
to pick it up. It's not my favorite or it's
not for me can be great in all kinds of circumstances.
In many cases, your kids don't want to actively insult anyone.
They just haven't thought about how people hear other phrases.

(03:49):
They may find this a welcome tool, or if not,
maybe they can at least be taught that tact goes
a long way knowledge our own preferences while still respecting others.
In the meantime, This is Laura, Thanks for listening and

(04:10):
here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for
listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback,
you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.

(04:34):
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