Just because you can doesn’t mean you should

Even people with flexible schedules need boundaries

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is a reminder to people who do have
flexible schedules that you can still set boundaries. You can
start repeating this phrase to yourself. Just because I can

(00:27):
doesn't mean I should. The past few decades have brought
huge changes to the way people work. Laptops and cell
phones mean much work can be done anytime and any place,
and while during the transition years, this often meant people
worked at the office during set hours and then still
needed to be reachable afterwards. Younger workers in particular, expect

(00:50):
a huge deal of control over their schedules. They don't
see this flexibility as a reward for years of proving themselves.
They see it as the most efficient approach to work,
and in general it is. However, after studying thousands of
schedules over the years, I'd say that some people are

(01:10):
better about setting boundaries with their time than others. If
you can set your own hours and work from home occasionally,
you have a great deal of control over your time.
But that control doesn't mean that your time is anyone
else's for the taking. There are the classic requests. A
neighbor wants you to drive him or her to the airport.

(01:32):
This person is totally capable of taking an uber, but
since you're home, it's no biggie, right. Or the neighbor
wants you to let out his dog at noon since
you're there. On some level, it might not be a biggie,
but planning your day around a commitment means your time
isn't fully focused on your work pursuits during time you
plan to work, and that is a problem. Now, if

(01:56):
your neighbor has done a huge favor for you recently,
that is a different matter. But if not, hopefully you
can develop the fortitude to say no to these requests.
Oh I've got phone calls stacked up all day, or
I may need to come into the office, so I'm
sorry I can't commit. But sometimes it's harder to set boundaries.
Maybe your partner has an unspoken assumption that because you

(02:17):
can work from home, it's your job to cover all
kids sick days or snow days. It's your job to
wait around for all repair people. And perhaps a couple
might decide that this split of labor makes sense, But
if so, it should be a conscious decision, not an assumption,

(02:37):
and I'd strongly caution against a couple assuming that the
party who can set his or her own hours and
work from home must therefore be responsible for all housework. Yes,
you could throw in a load of laundry during a
break between calls, but guess what your partner could throw
in a load before he or she leaves for work too.
These tasks must be negotiated set Really, I think boundaries

(03:02):
with kids are the hardest. One of the upsides of
having a flexible schedule is the ability to accommodate family responsibilities,
and this can be a real blessing for people who have, say,
special needs kids who require a lot of medical appointments
and the like. But what I've often seen happen is
that people with flexible schedules think that because they can

(03:24):
do something, they should and they don't necessarily push back.
A physician's office offers you at ten am appointment, and
so you take it rather than asking for something at
a more convenient time. And yes, it can work, but
then your day is chopped up. Or as I saw
on a time log recently, a professor picked up her

(03:45):
children at school at two pm on the days when
she didn't have afternoon classes. She could do this, but
the problem was that she wasn't making as much progress
as she wanted on the research and journal article submissions
that we're going to help her land tenure. Yes, she
could do the early afternoon pickup, but there's a limit

(04:05):
to how efficient we can be, and since she wasn't
mustering the energy to do the work at night after
the kids went to bed, something had to give. I
wasn't totally sure how she'd take this advice, but she
did agree with me that at least one to two
days per week she needed some extra childcare hours in
the afternoon and to work an actual full work day

(04:25):
during the work day. She did this, and pretty soon
she was submitting her articles at the pace she wanted.
Sometimes choices are hard, but again, just because we can
doesn't mean we should. So if you have a flexible schedule,
take some time to day to think about what boundaries
you have around your work hours. Are you satisfied with

(04:46):
these or not? If not, you absolutely can ask for
more help a renegotiate any assumptions that have been made
before work is work, and whether you work at home
and have control of your hours or not. It needs
to be taken seriously if you want to advance in

(05:07):
the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening and here's
to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd
love to hear from you. You can send me your tips,
your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter,

(05:27):
Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's B the
number four, then Breakfast p o D. You can also
shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i
heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out
with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward
to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of

(05:54):
I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio,
visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows. H m hm