Keep small things small

Don't get worked up about the little things

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is to keep small things small. Not everything
warrants a big response. And by keeping small things small,
as the saying goes, you save your time and energy

(00:25):
for things that truly do warrant your attention. You'll probably
be happier too. If you're like most people, you no
doubt find yourself annoyed when things in life aren't quite right.
I know I do. Maybe your neighbor leaves his garbage
bins on the curb for days, or maybe your workplace
sends pointless email newsletters that you can't unsubscribe from. If

(00:47):
you're listening to this podcast, my guess is that you
have high standards for yourself and you try to find
solutions to problems that come up in your life. That's
generally a good thing. Sometimes, though, our attempts to find
solutions can cost more than the problems they're trying to solve.
That's when it pays to keep small things small. The

(01:07):
first way to keep small things small is to recognize
them as small things. Ask yourself, how much does this
affect my life or the lives of the people I
care about. Sometimes the answer will be not much. These
are occasions to practice patients. You can smile after someone
cuts in front of you in the line to exit

(01:27):
from the highway. Maybe the person is a thoughtless jerk,
or maybe it's a tourist in a rental car who
had no idea that that's where the exit was. In
any case, you know that you will still get to
work on time at your high paying job, or you
do challenging, meaningful work alongside clever colleagues. I mean, really,

(01:48):
what does it matter to you? If you're not sure
whether you're dealing with a small thing, try what Richard Carlson,
author of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, calls the time warp.
Imagine yourself a year from now, how much does this
issue matter? Most likely, you won't remember your commute two
days from now, let alone a year from now. Or

(02:09):
you can ask yourself whose issue is this? Anyway, it
might be nice if your colleague didn't use double exclamation
points and all his emails, but this hardly reflects upon
you. You You might prefer that your high schooler look a
little less like she had slept in her clothes, but
again to eat her own. Psychologist Wendy Mogul, in her
book The Blessing of a b Minus, encourages parents to

(02:32):
allow themselves to appreciate their kids as they figure out
who they are, even when their tastes or hobbies they
seem a little odd. She offers an old Hebrew prayer,
thank you God for varying the creatures. The next time
you find yourself about to get annoyed or want to
fix something that isn't actually your problem, just say to yourself,

(02:53):
what a world plenty of surprises and leave other people
to their exclamation points or odd bawl fashion. Sometimes, though,
you may feel like a small thing is having an
adverse effect on you or someone else, and you feel
the urge to address it. Even then, a little perspective
is wise. I find it helpful to imagine how a
conversation about the issue might unfold. Suppose you have a

(03:18):
monthly conference call that consistently starts ten minutes late. You
faithfully log on at the scheduled time, only to spend
ten minutes talking about the weather. As you think about
bringing this up with the person who convenes the call,
try to imagine what you would say try to imagine
how he might respond. Are you feeling stumped about what

(03:38):
you might say? That doesn't sound petty about this ten
minutes every month? Or you have to talk about the weather.
If so, plan for the delay, come up with your
best weather jokes, or just dial in late yourself. Other times, though,
imagining the conversation will help you figure out how to
keep a small thing in perspective while constructively addressing its.

(04:00):
Suppose you frequently learned about special programs at your kids
school just a few days before you either scramble to
rearrange your work schedule or your kids are disappointed when
you can't be there. At first blush, you might think
to respond to the teacher's next email with your frustration
about this, but that might make the teacher feel guilty
and probably doesn't help the long term goal of a

(04:20):
good relationship, so instead you envision another option. When you
have a hunch that there's an event coming up, you
reach out to your child's teacher to ask if there's
something you should anticipate. Hello, Mrs Rogers. With springbreak around
the corner, I wondered if there might be a class party.
I'm eager to get it on the calendar so I
can arrange my schedule to attend. Hopefully that will elicit

(04:41):
at least tentative information and maybe even nudge the teacher
to give a little more notice for special events in
the future. You kept the small things small while still
addressing an issue that was bothering you. How do you
manage to keep small things small in your life? You
can let me know at Before Breakfast podcast at i
heeart media dot com. In the meantime, this is Laura.

(05:05):
Thanks for listening and here's to making the most of
our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.
You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.
Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at
Before Breakfast pod. That's b the number four then Breakfast

(05:30):
p o D. You can also shoot me an email
at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media dot com.
That Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.
Thanks so much, should I look forward to staying in touch.
Before Breakfast is a production of I Heart Radio. For

(05:51):
more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the I heart
Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your
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