Make it just as special

Deprivation doesn’t work in the long run

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is to steer clear of deprivation. When you're
trying to take something out of your life, replace it
with something else that's just a special. When this episode

(00:28):
first airs, some listeners may have recently finished participating in
Dry January, that is, they gave up alcohol for the
month of January. Many people give something up for Lent
each year. Or there may be things in your life
that you're aiming to reduce or eliminate permanently as a
new Year's resolution or as a long term goal. Perhaps

(00:48):
you've given up soda or caffeine, or you're reducing how
often you eat out or how much TV you watch.
Lots of goals like these fail because deprivation is of fun.
You used to have a cocktail with your partner before dinner,
and now you don't. You used to sit outside to
have a cup of coffee every morning, and now you've

(01:10):
given up caffeine, and with it, it seems the fresh
air and the sense of pause before a hectic day.
You used to eat out most nights, and now you're
at home looking in the fridge, feeling hungry and yet
seeing nothing interesting for dinner. Moments like these feel like
self deprivation, not self improvement, And maybe you can deprive

(01:34):
yourself for a while, but it's generally not a recipe
for lasting change. I'm not sure how wise it is
to fight against ourselves for things like this. Sometimes getting
too focused on what we're not doing can isolate us
from other people or distract us from more important pursuits,
things we want to and should be doing. So instead

(01:57):
of mustering lots of self control not to do something,
try replacing the behavior you want to reduce with something
just as special but better for you. For instance, if
you are cutting out alcohol, try some flavored Seltzer's or
herbal teas and bring back the elementary school delight of
a Shirley Temple or Roy Rogers. Get creative by mixing

(02:21):
your own mock tails. You can also replace the ritual
of cocktail hour with an altogether different activity, like taking
a walk, doing yoga, or having a meaningful conversation with
your partner. May be guided by questions designed to prompt
deeper connection. The idea is that you're not depriving yourself

(02:42):
of alcohol and its association with unwinding and connecting at
the end of the day. Instead, you are replacing that
pleasure with something else just as appealing. If you are
cutting down on refined sugar, have interesting fruit after dinner,
it's still sweet. A bowl of clementines or a plotter

(03:04):
of fruits and cheeses can provide an elegant and satisfying
end to a meal. Maybe eating out is what you're reducing,
then make sure the meals you have at home are
fun to prepare and tasty to eat. You could get
a cook book at the library or sign up for
a mule kit service to jump start your home cooking efforts.
And please spend what you want at the grocery store.

(03:28):
You could buy a lot of fancy groceries for the
cost of a restaurant meal, and having the good stuff
on hand will make you feel excited about what's in
the fridge. Of course, some pleasures have been eliminated from
our lives of late by circumstance, but even in the
face of coronavirus restrictions, we can find some replacements. Can't

(03:52):
go to the gym right now, try meeting up with
your gym buddy for a run or by cried. Instead,
can't go out to dinner with friends, call them more often,
or host an outdoor get together at your house. Instead
of depriving yourself for lamenting deprivations you didn't choose, try
to find pleasure and enjoyment in new ways. Even if

(04:14):
your old delight is off the table right now, you
can aim to make your new experiences just as special.
In the meantime, This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and
here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

(04:36):
I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod.
That's b E the number four, then Breakfast p o D.
You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast
podcast at iHeart media dot com. That Before Breakfast is

(04:59):
spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I
look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a
production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from I
heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Yeah,