Make relationship goals

Challenge yourself to invest in friends and family

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is to set some relationship goals. We're all
familiar with the idea of career goals like getting a
promotion and personal goals like running a marathon. Those makes

(00:26):
sense too. Relationship goals aren't quite so intuitive, but using
a goal setting mindset in relationships can actually be transformative.
From time to time, I see that someone will write
or announce that people spend most of their time at work,
or even people spend most of their waking hours at work.

(00:47):
Neither are for most people true. There are a hundred
sixty eight hours in a week, so spending forty hours
at work is nowhere near most of the time. Even
if you subtract fifty six hours per week for sleep,
that's eight hours per night for seven days. That leaves
seventy two hours for other things. People with regular full

(01:09):
time jobs spend almost twice as many waking hours not
working as they do working. To qualify as most of
your waking hours, you'd have to work more than fifty
six hours a week, and the vast majority of people
do not. That said, work can certainly feel like it
takes the bulk of our time, and so I've pondered

(01:31):
why that might be. It's not even that work always
feels like drudgery, which could be an obvious explanation. Even
people who really love their jobs generally feel like those
jobs take the bulk of their time. I think the
explanation is that we give work time structure, We set goals,

(01:52):
and we work towards them. Because the time is planned
and given a purpose, it seems to expand. Of course,
the rest of life isn't exactly like work at all,
nor should it be. But by adding a bit more
structure to our personal lives, we can make our personal
lives feel more memorable and bigger. This is particularly true

(02:15):
for time spent with other people, which tends to be
the time we wish would feel bigger and more expansive.
And so, rather than just try to spend more quality
time with your partner, you might decide to always ask
about your partner's day as soon as you see him
or her after work, and not have your phone with

(02:36):
you during this time. Instead of just trying to read
more with your kids, you might embark upon a whole
series or read through the Caldicott Award winning books from
the past forty years. Rather than just hoping to take
advantage of any current work flexibility to spend more time
with family, you might schedule a daily recess at three

(02:57):
pm while you're working from home and play with the
kids for thirty minutes. Then these relationship goals can take
whatever shape you want. Two kid free chats per week
with your partner, calling your grandmother every other day. You
can combine them with personal goals like doing a fast
run with your teenager on Sunday afternoons or taking a

(03:18):
cooking class with your sister. But the point is to
be aiming towards something specific, measurable, achievable, time bound, and
so forth. All those things we learned to do with
work goals. Now again, there's no need to go overboard here.

(03:38):
Some aspects of relationship buildings simply can't be quantified, and
there is much to be said for just spending a
lot of relaxed time together. But if you're looking for
ways to feel connected with the people you love, or
feel like your personal life is full and rich and
as time consuming as work in a good way, well,

(03:58):
this is one way to try set some relationship goals
and you just might achieve them. And since the process
itself will be good too, it's a win all the
way around. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening,
and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

(04:26):
I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod.
That's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D.
You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast
podcast at i heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast

(04:49):
is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,
I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is
a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from
I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. H