Not everything needs to be folded

Don't spend time on things that don't really matter to you

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.
This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
tip is that not everything needs to be folded. There
is no point in making extra work for yourself with

(00:26):
things that don't really matter to you. Today's tip, like
another this week, comes from Casey Davis's book, How to
Keep House While Drowning. This book is about how to
maintain a functional home even during very busy times, or
if you are dealing with mental challenges that make executive

(00:48):
functioning difficult. Davis recounts living with huge piles of laundry
in her laundry room after she became a stay at
home mom of a toddler and a baby. She could
never get the laundry folded before something else called her away,
and of course, after both babies were in bed, she

(01:10):
was so tired that folding laundry was really the last
thing she wanted to do. Then, one day, as she
was folding a baby onesie, she asked herself a question,
why was she folding that onesie? It wasn't really going

(01:30):
to get wrinkled, and if it did, who cared? So
she just started putting away onesies and T shirts and
athletic clothes and pajamas without folding them. Pulling out the
handful of items that truly would get wrinkled and hanging
them up took just a few minutes. The whole laundry

(01:50):
process became much swifter as someone who never folds athletic
wear or pajamas or anything like that. I am glad
that she had this realization. As Davis notes, a lot
of people are walking around with stories about what it
means to be a good home manager. Sometimes we assign

(02:13):
moral weight to this. If you fold your kid's clothes,
you are a good mother, and if you just shove
them in the drawer, you are a bad mother. We
could substitute father here, of course, even if we all
know who is more affected by these narratives of domesticity,

(02:35):
But chores are morally neutral. The question is whether things
are functioning or not, And I assure you that a
house can function marvelously without children's clothes being folded. Instead
of folded clothes, you have more time, time that you

(02:56):
can spend relaxing or maybe even having more fun with
your kids. Not everything needs to be folded. This realization
is true on its face and it is true in
a metaphorical sense if you enjoy something that is great,
but if you don't, maybe it is worth considering if

(03:19):
you are spending more time on something than you need to,
just because you are telling yourself a story about what
a good person does. A good person gets her inbox
to zero every day. A good person cooks elaborate meals
from scratch. A good person makes her bed every morning.

(03:43):
But if chores are morally neutral, then this opens up possibilities.
Being a good person has nothing to do with whether
you make your bed. There are everyday saints who just
buy that rotisserie chicken and bag salad and call it
a day. There are good people who realize that not

(04:05):
every email was asked for, and who rationally decide that
it would be better for them to spend time inquiring
into a colleague's life than responding to every email. When
you find yourself spending a lot of time on something,
consider why you are doing it. Maybe there is a
good reason that truly gets at one of your values,

(04:28):
or maybe there isn't. Consider whether you have things in
your life that do not need to be done. Not
everything needs to be folded, and sometimes not folding things
makes a better life possible. In the meantime, this is Laura.

(04:49):
Thanks for listening and here's to making the most of
our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.
You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.
Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at

(05:10):
Before Breakfast Pod. That's b E the number four then
Breakfast pod. You can also shoot me an email at
Before Breakfast Podcasts at iHeartMedia dot com that Before Breakfast
is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much.
Should I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast

(05:35):
is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,
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