March 25, 2020 • 6 mins
How to stay connected with people you don’t see in person
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is about how to build and maintain close
ties with people you mostly see virtually. In the past
few weeks, plenty of people have been trying remote work
(00:25):
for the first time. It's necessary under the circumstances, but
I know that for many people there's an assumption that
it's a poor substitute for an in person connection. Whole
industries of business travel have been built around the idea
that in order for people to work well and creatively together,
they need to spend a lot of time face to face.
(00:47):
As someone who's been working from home since two thousand two,
I think this is kind of ridiculous. As one example,
I co host my other podcast, Best of Both Worlds,
with Sarah hart Unger, who's a practicing physician who lives
in Floor It to I live in Pennsylvania. She and
I have seen each other in person just half a
dozen times over the last five years, but we have
(01:08):
managed to start and run an enterprise together and have
quite a bit of fun doing it. These things don't
need to be either or I'm certainly not saying that
you never need to see people in person, but we
won't all be engaged in social distancing forever. When we
are on the other side of this, we can all
recalibrate what should happen in person and what really doesn't
(01:30):
need to, thus saving time and wear and tear on
our planet. So how do you maintain close virtual relationships?
I found that video conferences are a key part of it.
Sarah and I use Squadcast to record our podcasts, which
allows us to see each other and our guests even
though we're only recording audio. I have a Zoom Pro
(01:51):
account to which I use all the time. FaceTime on
your phone is good for one on one type stuff.
Before there were good video conferencing options. It's true that
remote work did feel more distant, but now this isn't
true at all. And unless we're talking about someone you're
planning on touching a lot. The human brain has no
way of knowing that interacting with someone via video is
(02:14):
different than interacting in person, because how would it know this.
It's not like our caveman ancestors would have had a
way to see people without them being right there. This
is why people who are on television a lot report
that when people see them on the street or in
a restaurant, they act like they know them, as if
the relationship is mutual rather than one way. It's kind
(02:35):
of funny, but you can use that knowledge to your
advantage whenever you possibly can do video calls. Yes, this
means you need to build in time to brush your
hair or shave, but so it goes as a side note,
video calls massively cut down on the multitasking that happens
during audio only calls. They're much more efficient. Second, build
(02:57):
in socializing time into your video calls. Actually think it's
wise to build in social time to meetings in general,
but this is doubly important when you're not going to
be able to grab a cup of coffee or go
to lunch afterwards. I run one monthly video meeting where
we usually start with an icebreaker question. If the agenda
is planned well, you can still get through everything, and
(03:17):
given that any meeting is as much about the relationship
as the stated agenda, this is a good thing. Third,
be more systematic about reaching out. The human brain doesn't
naturally think of people that we don't see frequently. Again,
that's just the way we're built if someone disappeared from
our caveman tribe for six months, well, the odds weren't
(03:38):
good that person was coming back. So in our modern world,
you need a mechanism for thinking about the people you'd
like to maintain relationships with, even if you're not physically
seeing them all that often. Some people are kind of
funny about this. I get regular emails from people at
a certain time every three months, and I know that
they've probably made it a goal to reach out to
(03:59):
the people in their networks every quarter. Yes, kind of humorous,
but it's also effective. I remember these people. Frequency of
contact makes you feel closer than you might actually be,
So build in time to go through lists of your
social media connections, old colleagues, people on your Christmas card lists, whatever.
(04:20):
If you can come up with a decent reason to
send a note, then do so. And of course, take
advantage of random opportunities to subscribe to lots of industry newsletters,
and anytime you see someone mentioned that you know, reach out. Well,
none of this means that we never need to see
people in person. I found that these in person meetings
(04:40):
can be relatively infrequent and you can still feel quite close.
I have a small Mastermind group that have run for
a while, and I realized that I can count on
one hand the number of times I've seen its members
in person in the past five years. I would consider
all of them my good friends and colleagues. I believe
they'd say the same about me. All this self isolation
(05:02):
doesn't actually have to be isolating if you're smart about it.
I'd love to hear your tips for staying in touch virtually.
You can keep in touch with me virtually by emailing
me at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeart media dot com.
In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and
here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,
(05:30):
I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod
that's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D.
You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast
podcast at iHeart media dot com. That Before Breakfast is
(05:52):
spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I
look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a
production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from I
Heart Radio, visit the I heart radio, app, Apple podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. H
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is about how to build and maintain close
ties with people you mostly see virtually. In the past
few weeks, plenty of people have been trying remote work
(00:25):
for the first time. It's necessary under the circumstances, but
I know that for many people there's an assumption that
it's a poor substitute for an in person connection. Whole
industries of business travel have been built around the idea
that in order for people to work well and creatively together,
they need to spend a lot of time face to face.
(00:47):
As someone who's been working from home since two thousand two,
I think this is kind of ridiculous. As one example,
I co host my other podcast, Best of Both Worlds,
with Sarah hart Unger, who's a practicing physician who lives
in Floor It to I live in Pennsylvania. She and
I have seen each other in person just half a
dozen times over the last five years, but we have
(01:08):
managed to start and run an enterprise together and have
quite a bit of fun doing it. These things don't
need to be either or I'm certainly not saying that
you never need to see people in person, but we
won't all be engaged in social distancing forever. When we
are on the other side of this, we can all
recalibrate what should happen in person and what really doesn't
(01:30):
need to, thus saving time and wear and tear on
our planet. So how do you maintain close virtual relationships?
I found that video conferences are a key part of it.
Sarah and I use Squadcast to record our podcasts, which
allows us to see each other and our guests even
though we're only recording audio. I have a Zoom Pro
(01:51):
account to which I use all the time. FaceTime on
your phone is good for one on one type stuff.
Before there were good video conferencing options. It's true that
remote work did feel more distant, but now this isn't
true at all. And unless we're talking about someone you're
planning on touching a lot. The human brain has no
way of knowing that interacting with someone via video is
(02:14):
different than interacting in person, because how would it know this.
It's not like our caveman ancestors would have had a
way to see people without them being right there. This
is why people who are on television a lot report
that when people see them on the street or in
a restaurant, they act like they know them, as if
the relationship is mutual rather than one way. It's kind
(02:35):
of funny, but you can use that knowledge to your
advantage whenever you possibly can do video calls. Yes, this
means you need to build in time to brush your
hair or shave, but so it goes as a side note,
video calls massively cut down on the multitasking that happens
during audio only calls. They're much more efficient. Second, build
(02:57):
in socializing time into your video calls. Actually think it's
wise to build in social time to meetings in general,
but this is doubly important when you're not going to
be able to grab a cup of coffee or go
to lunch afterwards. I run one monthly video meeting where
we usually start with an icebreaker question. If the agenda
is planned well, you can still get through everything, and
(03:17):
given that any meeting is as much about the relationship
as the stated agenda, this is a good thing. Third,
be more systematic about reaching out. The human brain doesn't
naturally think of people that we don't see frequently. Again,
that's just the way we're built if someone disappeared from
our caveman tribe for six months, well, the odds weren't
(03:38):
good that person was coming back. So in our modern world,
you need a mechanism for thinking about the people you'd
like to maintain relationships with, even if you're not physically
seeing them all that often. Some people are kind of
funny about this. I get regular emails from people at
a certain time every three months, and I know that
they've probably made it a goal to reach out to
(03:59):
the people in their networks every quarter. Yes, kind of humorous,
but it's also effective. I remember these people. Frequency of
contact makes you feel closer than you might actually be,
So build in time to go through lists of your
social media connections, old colleagues, people on your Christmas card lists, whatever.
(04:20):
If you can come up with a decent reason to
send a note, then do so. And of course, take
advantage of random opportunities to subscribe to lots of industry newsletters,
and anytime you see someone mentioned that you know, reach out. Well,
none of this means that we never need to see
people in person. I found that these in person meetings
(04:40):
can be relatively infrequent and you can still feel quite close.
I have a small Mastermind group that have run for
a while, and I realized that I can count on
one hand the number of times I've seen its members
in person in the past five years. I would consider
all of them my good friends and colleagues. I believe
they'd say the same about me. All this self isolation
(05:02):
doesn't actually have to be isolating if you're smart about it.
I'd love to hear your tips for staying in touch virtually.
You can keep in touch with me virtually by emailing
me at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeart media dot com.
In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and
here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,
(05:30):
I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod
that's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D.
You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast
podcast at iHeart media dot com. That Before Breakfast is
(05:52):
spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I
look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a
production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from I
Heart Radio, visit the I heart radio, app, Apple podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. H
Before Breakfast News
Host
Laura Vanderkam
Show Links
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