Offer 3 options

Be the first mover when it comes to scheduling things

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
tip is that, when you are trying to schedule something,
offer three options that work for you. You will be

(00:23):
perceived as helpful and flexible, and you are more likely
to land on a time you are happy about. Today's tip,
like some other recent ones, comes from Alison Forgale, a
professor at the University of North Carolina's Business School. Forgale
studies status, power, and negotiation and has written extensively about

(00:46):
these topics. In her writing, Forgail advises against being what
she calls a second mover with your calendar. In other words,
don't put yourself in the position of responding to the
day and times offered by other people. I mean, maybe
the options they offer will be perfect, but probably not.

(01:09):
It's hard to know what to do when the other
person offers a time when you are theoretically free, but
you have other things you'd like to do. You don't
really want to accept a time that would be inconvenient,
but many people won't decline when there is no actual conflict.
So instead of being a second mover, as soon as

(01:29):
you suspect something's getting scheduled, offer three options that work
for you, as in, yes, let's get coffee. Could you
do Thursday at two or three? Or Friday at three
or I'd love to talk about revamping our onboarding materials.
I could meet at X, Y or Z time. This
practice offers several advantages. First, most likely the event will

(01:53):
happen at a time you want. But by suggesting multiple
options that work for you, not just one, you are
conveying warmth. People like people who give them options, so
that is great. And practically speaking, offering more than one
time increases the likelihood that one of those times will

(02:13):
work for the other person. That saves you from endless
back and forth emails. Of course, you may be wondering
why offer only three options instead of more. Frigil recommends
three because she says that's enough to come across as warm,
but not so many as to be overwhelming. I think

(02:34):
it's also wise to be reasonably specific about what constitutes
an option. In my view, Tuesday from nine to ten
am is an option Tuesday morning or the week of
July fourteenth, isn't. It's hard to believe that all of
the week of the fourteenth is equally good, so best

(02:55):
not to suggest it. Of course, you can offer three
options when you are scheduling in your personal life too,
three options for when to have lunch with a friend,
or go for a walk with your neighbor, or have
a playdate for your kid and his friend. Forgale points
out that offering three options works for other negotiations beyond scheduling.

(03:16):
For instance, when you are planning drinks with a friend,
you could suggest three restaurants and then invite her to choose.
When you are taking a dish to your parents' house
for a family gathering, you can offer three options of
things you could make and let your parents pick the
one that would be most helpful. When you are figuring
out how to spend a Saturday with your family, you

(03:36):
could make three suggestions to guide the decision. When you
are the first mover, you can guide the decision in
a direction that will work for you, and by giving
three options, you make it likely that an option will
work for the other person as well, so it is
a win all the way around. In the meantime, this

(03:58):
is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making the
most of our time. Thanks for listening. To Before Breakfast.
If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach
me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast

(04:27):
is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia,
please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
listen to your favorite shows.