Second Cup: All opposed should offer ideas

Constructive feedback is helpful, complaining is not

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.
This is Laura, Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
tip is that if you don't like a plan others
have developed, you have a responsibility to offer a reasonable alternative.

(00:28):
You can also set that as an expectation when others
offer feedback. That is the difference between complaining and being constructive.
These days, we take it for granted that getting feedback
is a good thing and that hearing multiple viewpoints helps

(00:50):
us make better decisions. Often that is true, two heads
can be better than one, and so forth. But there
is a difference between constructive feedback and complaining, and unfortunately,
the latter is quite common, even in situations where the

(01:12):
plans have involved a lot of work. I am sure
you have experienced this. Your team labors for weeks to
draw up programming for your office retreat, and then someone
spends the whole time complaining that the food was better
two years ago when it was catered by a restaurant
that has since gone out of business, and so wasn't

(01:35):
an option this time around. Anyway, If your neighborhood association
planned a neighborhood cookout for July fourth, instead of the
usual Fourth of July bicycle parade. Because your township made
it a lot harder to get a permit to close roads,
you will, no doubt hear complaints from families who wanted
to do things the way the neighborhood has always done it,

(01:57):
even if that was impossible with municipal bureaucracy. Even in
our own homes, plans developed by one family member may
be critiqued by another. If you propose going to the
amusement park, a proposal that seems like a surefire winner,
you may get gripes from your kids that they never

(02:18):
get to go on the fun rides because the little
siblings are too short for them, or that the nearby
park is boring and they want to go to one
that's a three hour drive away, and so forth. But
whatever the context, when someone has done a lot of
research and spend a lot of time and effort pulling
something together, it is not fair to simply oppose the idea.

(02:44):
Anyone objecting has a responsibility to suggest something reasonable that
they would be in favor of. Feedback is fine, but
we need to be constructive, not negative. If an activity gets
mixed reactions from your kids, you could suggest everyone come

(03:05):
up with three ideas that they would be excited about
and see where there's overlap. Maybe there will be. We
can hope those people objecting to the fourth of July
cookout they definitely need to take on a leadership role
in the neighborhood association so they can share their great
ideas and also put in the sweat equity necessary to

(03:29):
plan next year and at work. If people have ideas
for improving things, they definitely should be part of the
appropriate planning groups and they may take you up on
that offer, and they will call ten area restaurants next
time to get bids on the catering and see if
they can do better, and they might try to get

(03:52):
out of it. But at least when it is explained
what is involved, people have a chance to appreciate the
work that goes into planning and decisions, even if they
do still pout about it. I am not saying that
ideas shouldn't be critiqued and that feedback isn't helpful. I

(04:13):
am just saying that when someone is critiquing, they should
be asked to offer practical ideas on what can be
done differently, rather than just complaining or as someone once
put it all in favor, say I all opposed can
serve on the committee next time. In the meantime, this

(04:37):
is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making the
most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear
from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,
or anything else.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at
Before Breakfast pod that's b E the number four, then
Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me an
email at Before Breakfast Podcasts at iHeartMedia dot com.

Speaker 1 (05:12):
That Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
Thanks so much.

Speaker 1 (05:15):
Should I look forward to staying in touch.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts
from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows.