Second Cup: Be a hungry listener

Better listening makes for better conversations and presentations

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
tip is to be a hungry listener. Whether you're talking
with a loved one or attending a presentation, let the

(00:26):
speaker feel your desire to hear what they are saying.
You'll help them and probably enjoy the experience more as well.
So there's a wonderful passage in Zora Neil Hurston's novel
Their Eyes Were Watching God, when two old friends, Janie
and Phoebe are talking after time apart. During this time,

(00:50):
Jane had a series of intensely joyful and heartbreaking experiences,
and the narrative voice explains Phoebe's hungry listening Jane to
tell her story. I like that Janie wants her friend
to know what she has experienced and felt, and she
wants to process all that's happened, and Phoebe's hungry listening

(01:15):
makes that possible. I'm sure we've all had similar experiences.
A friend or family member who seems truly interested in
what you are saying can help you make sense of
an event or of complicated feelings. What a gift that is.
But Hungry listening isn't just for deep, life altering conversations.

(01:41):
Good listeners can help anyone communicate more effectively. I know
I have had that experience while giving speeches. I love
to be able to see audience members smiles and nods
as they connect with what I am saying. Inevitably, I
wind up making way more eye contact with the smiling,
nodding folks than with anyone else. With virtual talks. I

(02:06):
know that lots of folks like to turn their cameras
off and relax while they're listening, and I totally get that,
but I do really appreciate when at least a few
folks leave their cameras on so I can see that
they are still with me. Sometimes I've even asked if
an organizer or two can leave their personal cameras on

(02:27):
so I can see if my jokes are landing or not.
Since I know how helpful this active listening is for
me as a speaker, I try to be a hungry
listener when I'm in a situation of listening to someone else. Yes,
it's easy to check your messages or do other work
or zone out, but by looking carefully at the presenter,

(02:51):
you can keep them on top of their game show empathy.
If they say something moving, laugh if they say something funny,
the presenter will feel encouraged, which means that they are
going to give a better and more interesting talk. They
might possibly even give a more targeted talk. If your

(03:15):
body language shows when the person is saying something you
are really into and then you are a little less
intense when they are off the mark, you're going to
get a lot more out of a better presentation than
one where the speaker is flying blind. If you become
known as a hungry listener, people are generally going to

(03:37):
be more excited to share information with you. There is
so much competing for our attention, to be sure, but
it isn't that hard to actively listen and engage with
people talking with you. And who knows when you might
pick up something interesting that is probably going to be
a better use of time than rolling around on the internet. Again,

(04:04):
in the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and
here's to making the most of our time. Hey everybody,
I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

(04:26):
me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. At before breakfast Pod.
That's b E the number four then Breakfast Pod. You
can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast Podcasts
at iHeartMedia dot com that before Breakfast is spelled out
with all the letters. Thanks so much, should I look
forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production

(04:54):
of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
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