Second Cup: Be smart about your fears

Sometimes fears are useful

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.
This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
tip is to be smart about your fears. Sometimes fears
can be conquered and sometimes they are there for a reason.

(00:27):
Wisdom is about knowing the difference. So I've been thinking
about fears recently, one because this is airing around Halloween,
and also because I've been reading Farnush to Rabi's new
book A Healthy State of Panic, which is about how
acknowledging your fears can be helpful for building your career

(00:48):
and achieving success. Anyway, fears are a complicated topic. Some
fears are deep seated and some are just about what
is unfamili Once upon a time I got really nervous
and scared of public speaking. Getting up in front of
big numbers of people and needing to entertain them for

(01:10):
an hour is not easy. But then eventually I learned
that if you write nonfiction books, speaking about them is
going to be part of your business. I did a
lot of speaking, and speaking got easier. If you give
a speech once, it's scary. If you give a speech
one hundred times, it just feels like Tuesday. Soon enough,

(01:34):
I was in the Tuesday camp and didn't feel frightened
by this sort of thing anymore. I assume that this
is what happens with people in any line of work
that involves some common phobias. If you spend a lot
of time in airplanes, as crew members do, whereas just
general frequent flyers do, you stop viewing turbulence is terrifying.

(01:56):
It's just like going over a speed bump on a road.
If you wind up in a job washing windows or
fixing roller coasters or something like that, you will get
over any lingering fear of heights. In any case, if
you have some fear that is keeping you from doing
something you want in life, then it's worth seeing what

(02:16):
you can do to be more rational about it. You
might be able to do some small, repeated exposures to
lessen the fear. Lots of people are afraid of investing.
You can lose money, but it's pretty hard to build
wealth without some form of investments. So you can keep
enough in safe assets to feel well safe and start

(02:41):
small and learn as you go over time. Small paper
losses won't feel scary, especially as you see that they
tend to be recovered over the long haul. If you
are scared of public speaking but you know it would
advance your career, you can join toast masks, or practice

(03:01):
in front of groups of friends, or give smaller talks
to friendly audiences, like maybe leading a class at your
house of worship. You might still feel some trepidation, but
you can decide to feel the fear and do it anyway.
I don't particularly enjoy flying, but I want to see

(03:22):
the world, and it is hard to do that without
taking to the skies. On the other hand, you don't
have to conquer all your fears. Sometimes you can just
accept that they are your quirks and you can build
your life avoiding them. I really really do not like
open heights, so I don't go rock climbing. Some of

(03:47):
my kids like it. I try not to watch. My
little brother does rock climbing quite seriously, again, try not
to watch. It is just not for me. It is
likely that I will without ever having gone skydiving or
bungee jumping or things like that. I am absolutely fine
with that. If you fear snakes, just skip those zoo exhibits.

(04:12):
It is fine. Sometimes fears might be smart. Some people
give off warning signs of being mean or vindictive, and
it might be worth just putting some space between you
and those people rather than going overboard trying to conquer
a fear of conflict. I find the idea of feeling

(04:34):
strapped for cash terrifying, especially being in debt, so I
have always prioritized building up a financial cushion more or
less so I can sleep at night. I don't think
that's a fear that I really need to conquer, since
for the average person the outcome is what financial experts recommend. Anyway,

(04:57):
In any case, as this episode is airing around Halloween
and when we're thinking of fears in general, it's good
to look at our own particular fears rationally. Sometimes they
can be conquered. Sometimes they can be lessened and then
lived with if that makes larger goals doable. Sometimes they
can just be acknowledged because they're not really hurting anything.

(05:20):
And sometimes our fears are rational and may be helpful.
It is good to understand the difference. In the meantime,
this is Laura, Thanks for listening, and here's to making
the most of our time. Thanks for listening to before breakfast.

(05:45):
If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach
me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast
is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia,
please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

(06:07):
listen to your favorite shows.