Second Cup: Keep track of others' big days

One way to show people that you care 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Good Morning.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
tip is to keep track of big days in the
lives of people you care about. I am not just
talking birthdays, though it is good to remember birthdays. I
am talking about other momentous occasions as well, like when

(00:33):
someone is dropping their first kid off at college or
giving a major presentation at work. You want to be
aware of when the people you care about might appreciate
a little extra care. Noting these days is a great
way to show that you well care.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
So as I go through life, I realize that some
people are naturally emotionally attuned to others. They automatically devote
time and energy to understanding what is important to other people.
Some of us are just not so naturally skilled in
these areas, But like anything, friendship skills and interpersonal skills

(01:17):
can be learned and practiced. Keeping track of important dates
is one such skill. The key realization here is that
everyone has various events in their lives that will be
front of mind for them. When other people acknowledge those events,

(01:38):
they feel seen as most of us aren't very good
at remembering other people's events, we need a good system
to keep track of them. Fortunately, this is not that difficult.
If you can schedule a meeting with your sales team
for next Friday, then you are equally capable of noting

(02:01):
on your calendar that your neighbor will be dropping her
child off at overnight camp for the first time on
July ninth, So you can then text your neighbor on
the ninth with Hey, big day for you guys, hoping
it all goes well. I am sure Henry will love
this adventure. If you can note on your calendar that
you have a dentist appointment next Wednesday, then you can

(02:24):
also pay attention when your running buddy tells you that
next Wednesday she's going to meet with her boss and
ask for a raise. You can then text her next
Wednesday morning to say encouraging things and offer to be
a sounding board for anything she wants to process afterwards.
This isn't difficult, but it requires listening when other people

(02:50):
mention things that matter to them, and then having some
system for noting the date when some support would be nice.
One easy way to do this is just to email yourself.
You probably have your phone with you all the time,
so just email a note like h camp drop off

(03:10):
seven to nine. I'm guessing the majority of people listening
to this have some system for processing their primary inbox
to completion, So when you are sitting down to do
that processing, you will get the note about your neighbor's
kid at a time when you probably have your calendar
available and you are in the mode of getting stuff

(03:33):
on there. Then you just need to remember to look
at your calendar regularly. But again, if you do this
when you check when you are meeting with that sales
team or have your dentist appointment, then you will see
any messages about other people's important dates as well. Now,
I suspect that some people listening to this probably think

(03:55):
this whole episode is strange. I mean, doesn't everyone do
things like remember the date that their best friend's mother
passed away. Doesn't everyone make sure to be extra supportive
of their friend on that grief anniversary? And you know what,
It would be nice if everyone was this emotionally intelligent

(04:15):
and organized, but unfortunately that isn't always the case. For
those who are not so naturally attuned, keeping track of
other people's important dates is a smart way to be
kinder and more supportive of those around us. Maybe it

(04:36):
feels forced, but so what. Your friend would rather you
send her an encouraging note on the day she asks
for that raise than you not sending an encouraging note,
even if she finds the entry on your calendar funny
should she ever see it, so do it. You will

(04:57):
probably be glad you did.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
In the meantime.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making
the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to
hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,
or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook

(05:23):
and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
That's b E the number four then Breakfast pod. You
can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast
at iHeartMedia dot com that before Breakfast is spelled out
with all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I look
forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production

(05:50):
of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
To gag

Speaker 2 (06:07):
H