Understand your jealousy

Use envy to nudge yourself to make positive changes

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of My Heart Radio.
Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is to understand your jealousy. When you know
why certain things get to you, you can analyze your

(00:25):
life with this in mind and take something useful from
that jealousy that can actually improve your life. I am
a pretty contented person. I enjoy my work, I have
a large and healthy family, but I am not immune
to jealousy when I look at certain posts on social media.

(00:49):
Over the past few weeks, I have been thinking about
which posts those are and why they feel like a
kick in the stomach while others just don't bother me
at all. So what gets me well tales of adults
only socializing or people getting to relax in general, pictures

(01:11):
of big families all in matching outfits, smiling with mom
looking completely pulled together, or where people are talking about
some sort of family activity where everyone was happy and
no one was fighting. I also get jealous of people's
writing retreats and when the whole family seems focused on

(01:34):
letting them focus. Now, believe me, I know that much
of social media is fake. That put together mom has
a job, of looking great while selling products through her posts.
She has someone doing her hair and makeup and then
taking lots of photos to get the right one. This

(01:55):
is not your average mom putting her iPhone on a
tripod and snaping some shots. This is a commercial enterprise,
and it's being treated as such. The same thing goes
for photos of fun family activities. They're probably paid for
by whatever resort or hotel or amusement park is sponsoring

(02:15):
the post and requiring the write up of happiness. But
even so, I find that I don't care about people's
fancy cars or fancy houses. Those posts don't bother me,
even if they are just as fake and just as sponsored.
So I have analyzed my jealousy and realized a certain thing.

(02:40):
With a toddler and a job, I feel like I
am not getting nearly enough time to relax. It also
turns out that I don't feel like putting a lot
of effort into my appearance see the whole job and
toddler thing, and that has predictable results. With the logistics
of five kids and a home renovation going on, I

(03:02):
am probably not getting as much uninterrupted writing time as
I want either. The good news, though, is that when
we identify pain points, we can do something about them.
I have arranged for a little bit of childcare for
my toddler on some weekends. I've drawn up a different

(03:22):
during the week's schedule where I am driving less so
I have more time for writing. And well, I don't
exactly care enough to have a stylist and photographer follow
me around, but if I decided that was a priority,
I suppose I could try it out. In any case,
I could probably take a few minutes to do my

(03:43):
hair more days than I do. Maybe you have certain
pain points too, Maybe in your case it's something more substantial,
like other people having grandkids and that doesn't look like
it's in the cards for you. Or maybe it's just
more humdrum. How are people's playrooms that organized? How do

(04:06):
they only have color coordinated wooden toys? But when you
figure out exactly what it is that gets you riled up,
you can address these issues. Well, I mean, you can't
suddenly conjure up grandchildren. But if you decide that you
want small people in your life, you could volunteer to

(04:27):
teach Sunday school, or work in an after school program,
or help out your neighbors who have young children. If
you crave an organized and color coordinated space, maybe you
can designate some part of your house as your sanctuary.
The kids playroom is probably asking a bit much. I

(04:49):
suspect those folks on social media have two play rooms,
one with the beautiful coordinated wooden toys and one with
the explosion of plastic pieces that the kids at really
play in. I'm not saying that thinking about this will
make the jealousy go away, but it is easy to
let jealousy eat at you. Using it to make positive

(05:12):
changes in your life that make you happier is far
more productive, and I am definitely a fan of being
productive when we can. In the meantime, this is Laura.
Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of
our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.

(05:40):
You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.
Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at
Before Breakfast pod that's b the number four than breakfast
p o D. You can also shoot me an email
at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media dot com
that before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.

(06:03):
Thanks so much. I look forward to Staying in Touch
Before Breakfast is a production of I heart Radio. For
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