Why Are People Mean on the Internet?

It's not just malice -- there are several psychological reasons why people get so mean and angry online. Learn what experts say (and how to stop the cycle) in this episode of BrainStuff, based on this article: https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/human-brain/psychological-reason-mean-on-internet.htm

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Brainstuff, a production of iHeartRadio, Hey brain Stuff,
Lauren volgelbah Here. Back in the day when brain Stuff
had a YouTube show, we got enough mean comments that
we once did a whole episode where we just read
them off. My favorite about me was when someone took
the time out of their one precious life to write

(00:24):
down and then post quote, your arms are crap and
so is your face, which I think is objectively funny.
But also, I'm just trying to talk about science on
the Internet. So even if that statement happened to be true,
isn't saying it to a fellow human person a little
uncalled for? Whether it's a social media app, a chat stream,

(00:47):
a comment section, or a message forum, the Internet seems
to be a magnet for nasty comments, partially because few
result in real world consequences. But why are people so
mean on the Internet. The route, it seems, may lie
deep within the human psyche. The majority of our communication

(01:07):
is nonverbal, composed of body language, eye contact, speech tone,
and language patterns. Without this information to help us process
and categorize information, our minds are left to sort through
the uncertain, and, thanks to a leftover prehistoric pensiant for
fight or flight. Being unsure about another person's intent often

(01:28):
creates a negative reaction to a perceived threat. Also, by
continually presenting only our curated best selves online and reaping
the emotional benefits of lots of likes or up votes
or what have you, psychologists say our self esteem may
bloom disproportionately and negatively impact our self control. The result,

(01:51):
we may feel entitled to be mean. Experts also posit
that people may actually forget that they're speaking out loud
when they post a snarky comment. Writing something from a
smartphone almost seems like you're talking to yourself. It may
be especially hard for people to remember that there are
real humans behind popular or professional accounts. This entitlement or

(02:14):
lack of inhibition may also be connected to the physical
distance from the people to whom those comments are directed.
Research has shown that the closer the physical proximity you
have to someone, the less likely you are to be
mean spirited. For example, one study found that game show
contestants we're less likely to vote off a contestant standing

(02:34):
next to them than one standing further away. And this
meanness affects more than just our online lives. Being unpleasant
in a virtual world can spill over into real life,
resulting in an increase in aggressive communication with coworkers, family members,
and friends, causing damage to relationships that must later be repaired.

(02:55):
While being unkind online can temporarily boost self esteem, it's
a short lived high. A lasting self esteem is correlated
with things like setting and achieving goals and forming meaningful
connections within a group. Still, the internet seems to attract
comments that people wouldn't dare express publicly in three dimensions,
especially when it comes to hot topics such as gender

(03:17):
expression or gun rights. But what can you do if
you become a target. Many online publications now require commenters
to register and provide a valid email address in order
to put the brakes on trolls, that is, posters who
intentionally comment producatively to get a rise out of others,
But whether it actually makes a difference is debatable. Back

(03:38):
in two thousand and seven, South Korea mandated that all
websites with more than one hundred thousand users had to
require them to enter their real names as well as
input personal information at registration, in an effort to reduce
abuse of comments. This law wound up being scrapped because
negative comments only declined by zero point nine percent in
the following year, and adding identifying info left people more

(04:00):
vulnerable to hacking. On a more personal level, one of
the most effective strategies for diffusing heated situations is to
give yourself a time out. Take a few minutes or
hours to cool off before you reply, and when you do,
stay calm. Just ask the person to stop, or go
straight to blocking them and or reporting their behavior to

(04:23):
the powers that be in that corner of the internet.
Don't respond to negative comments with negativity of your own.
If you find it difficult to resist a retort, There's
sometimes the option of disabling comments altogether. If threats seem
likely to escalate and spill over into real life, make
a police report. Even in jurisdictions that don't have specific
laws against online harassment, wider anti harassment laws may apply

(04:47):
a document the scope and depth of the behavior. Of course,
pursuing any kind of legal action is most effective if
you haven't thrown any gasoline on the fire. It can
be infuriating when someone treats you rudely, but you always
have the option to leave it alone. Is it worth
the mental energy to even dignify it with a response.

(05:08):
As with all interactions with difficult people, it helps to
remember the source. People who are lashing out usually have
troubles of their own and are simply looking to exert
control or discomfort, all in an effort to make themselves
feel a bit better. What I tried to take from
my time on YouTube is that those people who commented
about my arms or whatever don't know me. They saw

(05:30):
a version of past me who went into a studio
and made a video one time, and whatever they think
of her, it has nothing to do with me, with
my full being, and probably a lot to do with
their own state of mind. Of course, mental health is
really complicated and something that a lot of people struggle with,
especially in stressful or uncertain times, and our brains are

(05:53):
somewhat wired toward negativity, both to give it and to
remember it. Prehistorically speaking, it was more important to remember
to avoid the threatening tiger than to remember to approach
a friendly dog. If you catch yourself frequently lashing out
online or otherwise getting stuck in negative thought loops, consider

(06:13):
talking to a healthcare professional about it. The world can
be really rough, but spreading negativity externally or internally isn't
going to make it better. Navigating mental health is an
individual venture. Depending on the situation, Experts recommend everything from
exercise to talk therapy, to medication to just trying to

(06:33):
remember to approach the friendly dog. By recognizing nice things
that happen, finishing a project or chore, seeing a cool
bug or rock, or having a good interaction with a
friend or stranger, you can sometimes overshadow negativity and sometimes
train your brain to seek out more positive rewards. Today's

(06:59):
episode is based on the art Is There a Psychological
Reason for People Being Mean? On the Internet? On how
stuffworks dot Com, written by Julia Layton. Brain Stuff is
a production of by Heart Radio in partnership with how
Stuffworks dot Com and is produced by Tyler Klang. But
four more podcasts from my heart Radio. Visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.