Bonus: Dani's Listening, Episode 1

In this new bonus series, “Dani’s Listening”, Dani connects with listeners by responding to those who’ve called in to share their family secrets.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Family Secrets is a production of I Heart Radio. Danny's
Listening is a bonus series brought to you by Family Secrets. Hi,

(00:24):
thanks for welcoming a place to share my family secret.
In two thousand eighteen, when I was forty six years old,
I completed a genetic test gifts from my father in law.
What I learned from that test was mind blowing and
at the same time not all that shocking because I
grew up with an alcoholic mother. I learned that the
dad who raised me was not my biological father. But

(00:47):
with my parents were deceased at this time, so I
couldn't ask them any questions. I quickly became an investigator,
scouring the Internet for information for days weeks. Ultimately I succeeded,
and I've learned the identity of my biological father and
to half sisters, all alive still in a small town
where I was born. My biological father, still married to

(01:08):
his wife, denies the relationship with my other mother besides
a one time thing, and he has no interest in
knowing me. My stepmother, who's still alive, shared all that
she knew with me. She shared that the dad who
raised me knew I was not his child and stopped
my mother from getting an abortion, telling her that he
would raise me as his own and no one would

(01:30):
have to know the truth. He only shared this with
my stepmother before they were married, and told her and
no one else. This process has been strange on a
lot of individuals I never knew I was related to.
Some embraced me and encouraged me on my journey, and
many became angry, defensive, and protective of their truth. Ironically,

(01:50):
for the last fifteen years I've worked as a marriage
and family therapist, I've always been really interested in the
pathic of other people's family stories and journeys. Now I
and myself graveling with my own. I think I've always
been searching for my true story and identity. Thanks again
for a chance to share a bit about this journey.
I gain a lot of comfort and confidence in my

(02:12):
own emotions by listening to you and your listeners, So
thank you. Right. Hi, it's Danny, and I'm very touched
by what you shared, and you took the time to
call in. Several things struck me about your story. First,
as you said that you weren't entirely shocked, even though

(02:35):
your mind was blown by what you discovered. I felt
that way too, when I discovered the truth of my identity.
It's like there was always something there, something not quite apprehendable,
because how could it be, as kids were formed by
what the adults around us tell us, and we have
no reason to believe otherwise, and yet when something doesn't

(02:58):
add up, we feel it. I wonder if this is
what led you, unconsciously, of course, to become a marriage
and family therapist. I mean, my god, that is just
so perfect. When I'm most moved by is what you
shared about your father, the man who raised you. He
sounds like he was a very loving person, and he's
the reason you're here. I feel much that way about

(03:20):
my own dad, even though my story is different from yours.
When these stories crash into our lives, the ones that
have always been lurking there, the people involved behave in
all sorts of ways. As you said, some are kind,
some are angry, some are terrified, Some reach out of hand,

(03:41):
and others slam the door. You say you've always been
searching for your true identity. Now you know far more
than you ever did, and that knowledge, though it is
indeed strange, will lead you to even greater wholeness over time.
I hope you can draw from your deep well of

(04:02):
empathy and direct some of that empathy towards yourself. I'll
be thinking of you, and I wish you joy and
much peace. If you have a family secret story you'd
like to share on Danny's Listening, please call eight eight
eight Secret zero. That's eight eight S E C R

(04:24):
E T and the number zero