June 10, 2020 • 33 mins
In today’s episode, we toast with the Guru of Celebration, Colin Cowie, as we chat about the art of celebrating life as it should be. #morethanaparty @ColinCowieLifestyle
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
I always believe in saying yes before I say no,
because it gives me the opportunity to say no. Yes,
it's like this, No, it's like this, And you know,
if you say no, you close yourself to opportunity. So
I'd like to say yes first and figure out what
it is. Is this right for me? It is wrong
for me? And then I'll move forward in a meaningful way.
(00:31):
Hey there, thanks for joining us on the road to
somewhere where we talk about exploration, adventure. Major life change
and transformation is not not necessarily knowing where we're going,
but having faith that the journey will be worthwhile. I'm
Lisa Oz, and I am jel Herzig, and I am
an avowed non birthday celebrator. But I know in your family,
(00:52):
Lisa birthdays get marked, they get celebrated. Well, everyone else
has done. I don't. I don't love the aging thing.
But any excuse for a fun party, right, any excuse
for a fun party. And I feel like I'm learning,
and we'll learn today that I need to mark these
transitions in my life. Oh yes, I think it's very important,
(01:14):
which is why we have the Guru of celebration with
us today. Colin Cowie is and the most extraordinary event
designer and producer. He creates luxurious experiences around the world.
He's the author of ten best selling books and the
CEO and founder of Colin Cowie Lifestyle. Colin, thank you
so much for beating with us today. Happy to be
(01:34):
here and so happy to be greeted with tequila and
the slassla at this hour in the morning. Well, we figured,
we figured it should be a party. If you're coming,
we have to invite you to something celebratory. Alright, people,
chin hello, Okay, it should be I like that. For
those of you who are not with us, we are
(01:54):
drinking tequila. Oh my god, hallelujah, Good morning ten and
the more name, it's six o'clock somewhere. You never have
to make an excuse when your toast Wow, so awesome.
So there needs to be a name for what I'm doing.
I'm slugging a cappuccino with a head of tequilla and
(02:15):
and a squeeze of one. What is that? Living life?
It's called living life? Right, Schizophrenia one of the other. Well,
coffee and tequila are very good combinations. They complement one another. Well,
there you go. Can we talk a little bit about
that your celebratory for life philosophy. Yes, I am a
very very big believer in celebrating milestones, birthdays, anniversaries. I
(02:38):
think it's important that we do. It's a great way
to acknowledge one another, to be able to honor one another.
And I just celebrated a very very big event. You know,
I have written so many books on the subject and
did it for everyone else. I thought the weddings was
something I only did for other people. I didn't relate
that one day I was going to form madly hope,
(03:00):
clee in love at the stage of my life and
want to get married tell us about And it was
so obviously it was ridiculously she conglamorously fabulous and beautiful
and over the top. And there were Safari parties and
cocktail receptions and mikan Ostar beach parties, and then we
took everyone to the vineyard and we did this incredible,
dunopart incredible reception in ceremony from six pm until six am.
(03:24):
But the most beautiful part of all of it were
the things that people said about us. It was just
I have never felt so loved in my entire life before.
And it's kind of interesting because this is something that
I do for everyone else. All of a sudden, the
spotlight was kind of reverse. And how did you encourage that?
Because sometimes, um, I don't know, Like for example, I
(03:47):
for years I didn't give toasts at weddings. I let
other people do it, and then finally, I don't know,
when I broke the ice, I was like, I have
to stand up and do this. Partly it was the
fact that I looked around and no women were giving toes,
and it made me so angry that I stood up
and gave to us, even though I was scared. They
just don't happen. So what did How did you create
(04:08):
space for that? I designed it that way and I
wanted that win, and I didn't want to just have
a party that was over the top, Oh my god,
the greatest party I wanted. I wanted to have soul
and I wanted to have heart. So our events started
on Safari. We took a hundred and twenty people into
South African wilderness, and we had five families in each camp.
(04:29):
So all these camps, the second night came instead of
at the end of the game, right came to our
party side, which was called a Kalamo flage just as
your favorite exotic animal. Well, it was amazing that people
got the most incredible outfits. The interesting thing is my
husband Danny comes from Argentina and I'm from South Africa.
(04:51):
Three hundred million years ago, Cape Town and Rhonosaris were joined.
You've rejoined, so we brought them back fourth circle. And
I found this incredible storyteller from dormant, an incredible any
and she told our story and she's told its spiritually
and was so beautiful because all it did. Everyone had
(05:13):
come from all over the world and she told the
story for fifteen minutes. There wasn't a dry eye in
the house and it kind of set the table for
what was to happen when it was going to be
beautiful and glamorous and elegant. But I think you always
want soul at an event. I think it's what pulls
us all together. Now, that's why I love rituals, because
rituals bring us all together when we all do one
thing together. When you think about it, you come from
(05:36):
you broke a hell in the room, you had an argument,
your carl was late. Everyone arrives in a different state
of mind. A ritual can get us focused within five
degrees of one another. What's your what is your favorite ritual?
I want to get to that. So when I did,
we decided the beginning of each event would select certain
of our friends to speak, so we had two friends
at each event speak for us and the pressure of song.
(06:00):
So they planned their talks. They planned their talks very,
very too. It's not like you just extempor an easily
saying I love you man. When we were picked from
each side, him and myself for someone to speak at
the at the Safari dinner, someone to speak at the
welcome cocktail reception, someone to speak at the beach, and
then at the wedding. Our friends took this so seriously
(06:22):
and they researched and they wrote, and it was so beautiful.
I mean I I bawled my eyes out, and not
the one that usually does that head the clinics to
somebody else, but I was so completely touched that people
have taken so much time to write and put all
this stuff together that now I'm compiling a book of
all the speeches and the toasts and letters that we
got afterwards of everyone said it was the most magical
(06:45):
event imaginable. Was there something that someone said that opened
the aperture for you and helped you see yourself for
your so many things. There was just so many things,
you know, and we decided we didn't want to exchange rings,
so we made these brace Oh my goodness, and then
they were screwed on me through the screw drither away afterwards.
But at the ritual, the ritual that we did for this,
(07:07):
they were on a beautiful tray and my friends Loanlanderman Bonnett,
who I did her wedding twenty years ago, she did
my wedding. It was amazing, and she put so much
work and effort into the sermon. It was incredible. But
we did. We took these bracelets and then we put
them into the audience and each guest put them again
to their heart because metal to carry pressous energy, and
(07:28):
they made a wish for us. They passed all the
way through until every single guest to touch them, and
then we did the ritual of actually putting these bracelets
on forever. That's a beautiful. There is something powerful about
ritual where you are taking something that is other world,
that is on a on a different level, right of
a different dimensions, something something ineffable or intangible, and you're
(07:49):
concratizing it, you're making it physical, physical, so interesting. I
remember when I did Jehan George's wedding, the very famous chef.
I said him, I want you to bake a loaf
of bread and use all the spices and herbs that
remind us of your wife, and we'll break bread together
the ceremony, which is what we did, because I love
doing things like that, and we were once created a ceremony.
(08:11):
We did an arbor. There wasn't a single flower in
the arbor, but at all these branches are goodinius. And
as each guest came, they went down to the arbor
and they put put a piece of the flowers into
the arbor and made a witch for the couple. So
collectively watched this whole thing come together and was made
with all the beautiful love wishes from all the all
the guests to gathered. I love that all of these
(08:33):
are active things, the things that do, because I think
they allow you to participate. And then another one that
I love to do at a ceremony, I like to
give each person a yard of silk fabric and say
right a note to the couple and then put them
all on an arch before they walk down the art,
so they're walking in the breeze through all the love
of all their family and friends, and you roll them
(08:54):
all up, put them in a gorgeous box and said,
if ever you had a bumpyr, note your friends always
here to support you. If so, three things you've mentioned
about the rituals that you've created involved the senses. You
have the gardinia, so as with the branches of guardinas,
you're wafting the center of Guardina. Who had talked about
the loaf of bread with all the spices, so that's taste,
and then you just talked about the silk, so it's tactile.
(09:15):
How important are the senses? I love your question because
people say to me and if you look at my
body of work, no two projects ever look the same
because I always start with your DNA and then I
add to that the five senses, what your small touch tastes.
You're here, and let's how tell your story. That's way
it's always authentic because you always come back to your
(09:36):
DNA and that's where you find at the end of
the day. If you plan an event, it becomes utterly, uniquely,
totally all about you, and then we add to that
is it morning, noon or not? Bring some of the
winter fall, and it allows us to figureut what ingredients,
what colors, what text and things we're working with. So
that way, it's always unique and it's always personal and
it's always different. I love that when we come back,
(09:58):
I want to talk about how unique you are as
a person. We've been chatting with the incompable Hall and
Cali and about parties and you were wedding in particular.
We back it up a little bit and just talk
(10:20):
about because we're on this road to somewhere and we
want to talk about your journey and how you came
from South Africa and became really like the pre eminent
party planner in the world um Oprah's party planner UM.
And we've been to many events together, we have, and
they're always fabulous. But let's talk about your journey a
(10:41):
little bit. It's interesting. I was born in a very
small town in Central Africa, in Zambia. My family immigrated
to South Africa because the change of politics, and once
again I was very disheartened by the political situation in
South Africa and in my very early twenties at the
heart of Apartite. I didn't think it was a fair
place to live, and I didn't ever think there would
(11:02):
be a future there under that count regime. And of
course all of our money and bank accounts for tract
and monitored. So I left South African on the fifteenth
September four dollars, one world cuts to it, an omniperson
sountin and huge dreams. He left a lot behind, Yes,
And I literally started with absolutely nothing, and I worked
(11:25):
in a catering company, and then I watched how they
did things, and six weeks later I had my own
catering company, and and then and it was amazing because
I had been in Europe the previous summer and there
were all these ingredients. People was don angel head past
to a tomato sauce, and it was bronzino and a
salad of a regular ridiculous version on de Even when
(11:46):
I started talking about these things in Los Angeles, they
thought they were small islands of the coast of Italy, ridiculous.
So I had this unique sense of Styland's amazing. I
did a party and it was for Bruce Willis because Sharevera,
Haroldover's ex wife was dating at the time he just
got the show called Moonlighting was the first party that
(12:08):
ever had, and at the party was Barber Strassen and
Schwartzenegger and Stallone and all these people. Was unbelievable. The
pressure was on, huh and the first party clue. But
I turned out this fabulous party at the sex young
girls and girls serving. I had fires on the beach
in Malibu and my phone never stopped ringing. And after
(12:28):
the rest, literally how I got started? And did you
ever feel terribly overwhelmed by the growth of your business?
High pressure stuff? I never had the time too. I
mean in those times like Chopped's, Last, Last Appealed, Clean
Served whatever it was as a one man show, and
I pulled in what I needed to and became resourceful.
And then and then I built a substantial sized events
(12:51):
and catering company. And then in Star magazine started and
they wanted someone that had access to celebrities. I became
the contributing editor in the magazine business. And because of
that I got my first television show. Then it was
the CBS Morning Show, and then it was Tissues in
China and licensing programs, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. And you just
(13:13):
say yes to everything. Do you say no? Sometimes you
do so no. I really believe that you need to
figure out there was a period of time when I
did say yes to everything, and then you don't move
anything forward. I think the power of no is very important,
just as the power of yes it is important. I
always believe in saying yes before I say no, because
(13:34):
it gives me the opportunity to say no. Yes, it's
like this, No, it's like this, And you know, if
you say no, you close yourself to opportunity. So I
like to say yes first and figure out what it is.
Is this right for me? Is it's wrong for me?
And then I'll move forward in a meaningful way. If not,
I'll saying no. And also, I mean the two ways
(13:55):
yet one I think they're qualified. Actually I'm it's execute
in spiritually. I leave in being a yes person because
it opens up so many opportunities for you when it
comes to career. I believe in being very disciplined because
there's so many opportunities out there. When you say yes
to everything, you get to dilute what you're doing. You
don't move anything forward. So the power of no and
(14:16):
discipline I think is very important when you're dealing with
your personality, your character, your career from that point of view,
So it sounds so if someone listening right now, it
sounds like you got luck, lucky right, one lucky break
after another, you got this Bruce Willis party, and then
all these time then and then added to you Heer's wedding,
the world's most famous bachelor got married. But there's there
(14:38):
is something more than luck there. There's something about the
way that you approached it. Because I'm sure there are
many caterers who have done a celebrities event and haven't
taken off. So how do you what is the secret
sace that? What do you think differentiates you that someone
could actually emulate if you were mentoring? Sure, hard work.
I've worked incredibly hard, and I love my work, so
(15:00):
I never think of it as a task or an effort.
I think work is important. Um, a curious nature and
a curious mind I think opens those doors for you
and and someone who's very, very committed to what you're doing,
and then believing. I remember, I wasn't qualified for any
of this. I kind of learned as I went along,
you know. And then in the writing ten books on
the subject, but I've always thrown myself in the deep
(15:23):
end and figured out how to get to the other side.
You know, I I don't want to sound I don't
have very much fear. I'd like to go into things
kind of calculated with with the with the right troops.
I don't think you could be in this business if
you had fear. First of all, the amount of responsibility
(15:44):
that we take on when you do a single event,
and when you think about it, between lighting and sound
and music and people and entertainers and food and waiters
and bars, I mean, you've got eighteen different disciplines, okay,
and you have to get them all to perform at
their maximum on cue, on time, like threading a needle,
and this is live television. There's no take two three,
(16:07):
he could we do that all over again? So you
always think acts of nature exactly completely. So you're thinking
ahead and your problem solving and whilst you're in the
moment of a yeah, what's coming forty minutes down the lot.
It is an immense amount of pressure. And you've seen
when we've done to buy in those massive, big projects.
You know, when you've got two and a half thousand starts,
(16:28):
you've got sorry, four thousand stuff and two and a
half thousand guests, and you have eighteen different disciplines and
fireworks was the largest fireworks to explain the history of
the world. All right, now, I have to ask you
to take it way down to human scale now for
a second, because I am someone who loves to entertain,
but I get and I love marking moments, important moments.
(16:50):
But I am a super nervous entertainer at the same time.
So you have zero fear and do this at the
highest level imaginable. But I think something that stops ordinary
folk like myself from marketing occasions and gathering people as
much as we could and shouldn't want to. It's just fear.
So how do you get the three reasons? For three reasons? A,
(17:11):
you think it's going to take too much time, be
you don't believe you have the ability to do it,
and see it might cost too much money. So I
believe that today's savy entertaining is a resourceful entertainer. You
can walk into anyone of our supermarkets, you can walk
into anyone of our fabulous grocery stores. There's incredible pre
prepared foods, there's wonderful salamis and cheeses and poach shrump
(17:33):
and whatever it is that your might is where you
can buy things and put them out in advanced the
key to entertaining is, as with everything else, is to
be proactive and to do everything before your guests get there.
The other thing is in America we have this terrible
premonition idea that we're supposed to impress people when we
entertain them. Yes, I think that's completely wrong. Entertained for
two reasons, to make you comfortable and to make you welcome.
(17:54):
The rest will happen naturally, so you know, whether it's
a picture of a pre made drink, or bottle of
white wine on us or bottle of bubbly on ice,
a couple of glasses like a few candles, turn on
the music, putting it out an appetizer to a piece
of cheese and a fabulous baget of bread. That's the
party in myrs. You can go do and then watch
the beach set and then watch the sunset on the beach,
(18:16):
or do it at your home. It's really not about
impressing people. And we have such incredible resources in the
big cities that we live in today that you know
you don't have to make it yourself. You can go
to your favorite restaurant and give them a castle or
try and say for me. And you know, it goes
from the oven to the table. So because the idea
is to be glued to the dining of chain or
(18:36):
chained to the kitchen stove. So I love the idea
of doing a big one pot wonder or a big stew,
or a cattle roll, or a big pasta or a
big salad that comes to the table. You pasted around,
you break bread, you drink wine, you talk, your toast,
you speak. And I think some of my most magical
and our most memorable moments are those spent around a
downing table with family and friends. That's true, it's true.
(19:00):
But there's a I think all the preparation. First of all,
it sounds like preparations a big part of it, right,
be ready to have your wine on ice. But there's
there's a um a, an emotional element that you bring
to it too. And I think so many like Joe
and You're you talk about entertaining. If you're totally stressed out,
it's not gonna be fun for you. And everybody catches
(19:22):
that vibe. Well, you've all been to someone's house and
you're knocked on the door to look far too long
for the door to be honest, and the doors onto
there was your your hostess with more ingredients on the
apron than made it into the salad dressing right. And
then finally you she're still setting the table and shopping
and peeling, so you don't feel that hundreds in welcome,
(19:42):
and she makes brief appearances between courses. She's so stressed
by the end of the night that she doesn't do
it again at all Thanksgiving, right, it's because she picked
a complicated menu, something that kept her. That thinks she
felt that she had to impress you. You know, whenever
you come to entertaining, successfully do what you can in
advance to everything advanced. You can sit back and be
(20:04):
a guest, set your bar up, put the us up,
put the slast lemons out. People can help themselves to drink.
You can make itself a self above its beautifully said
it very easily. You can set your food out, really
really easily. And I remember once having things that come
from me up into the table so you sit down
and you have fun together. The other thing I learned
the hard way was remembered to save time to have
(20:25):
a shower, because I once remember I set up and
did everything in advance to have twenty something people to
my house for Thanksgiving, and five minutes before they were
supposed to get there, I realized that I was in
my pajamas, literally in my pajamas. I hadn't show. I
would say, take five minutes ago, splash some wood in
your face, put on a clean shirt, some lipstick, and
(20:45):
some and some fragrance, turn up the music, turned on
the lights, and you've gone from daytime to nighttime. Perfect.
I love it. When we come back, we're gonna talk
more about the pressures or party throwing. H So we're
(21:07):
talking about celebration and entertaining, and we were talking about
how difficult it can be sometimes if you put too
much pressure on yourself. And I loved your idea where
just kind of embrace the fact that you haven't had
a shower. Let's stick in a different shirt. You can
stay in your pajamas and it could be fun. Absolutely,
But in this era of Instagram and everyone's so competitive,
(21:28):
and everyone's like, if anyone on the planet saw your wedding,
they would never want to throw another party. Because nothing
competes with that. And how do we societally or as
individuals let go of that weird need to have everything
be picture Instagram. Yeah, I have to tell you. The
best thing that it at my wedding was on the Thursday,
(21:50):
we had this fabulous at the Grand Beach in Cape Town,
Beautiful rot on the water, fabulous making our start beach party.
It was amazing. I was so freaked out from all
the selfies and can we take a picture and you're
having a conversation, let's take a picture that can you
use my chemic I never got anywhere socially with anyone
that I got so frustrated. My point niece wanted to
(22:12):
take a picture myself. I don't even think of it.
You can a family picture tomorrow night. We're out of this.
And the best thing I did at the wedding was
I made little sleeping bags that said time to rest, disconnect,
to connect, and I asked everyone to put their phone
in a little sleeping bag and be present. It was
so nice to walk down looking at a hundred and
seventies six smiling faces versus looking at a hundred screens
(22:36):
people trying to capture things. So that they could prove
to Instagram that they were there and their picture was better.
I'm a little bit on the line there, and I
use Instagram and use social media for my business, but
there really is something to be said about being present today.
And the cool thing was because I was so strong
about the message and not using the phone at the ceremony,
no one used their phone to the rest of the night. Yeah,
(22:59):
I actually be president. It was a different party. It
was something very warm about the way you did it.
You take your phone, your beloved phone, and get in here.
I wonder if there's like a loving way to skating,
there's a loving way to do anything and everything. I
think it's it's all how you present, as with anything
(23:21):
in life. Yeah, that's genius. And also I don't know,
getting back to what you were talking about earlier a
least about how there's a sensual element. I think that's
something that is getting lost on our with our obsession
with social media. All we are doing is absorbing with
our eyes and there's no sense that there was there's
a full experience, and that's so right. I went to
(23:44):
a party, as provided a party in Ireland and it
was dreadful, but it was instagrammably fabulous. Okay, so what
made it bad, let's dish about it. The host just
didn't put time or thought a love into it, and
they picked the has to extravagant place in island for
this whole group of people to fly there, and then
they're under delivered in terms of the food and the
(24:06):
beverage and entertainment and those things. And I kind of
think if you're going to do that, then you need
to go the full way, all the way across. And
I think that it's important that we have not just
the prettiness, but we we we we we connect them
and that's the real reason why we come together. Right,
So I think the idea of of of you have
(24:29):
to have an emotional connection in everything today otherwise you're
just a product succession. Have you ever watched this? No,
but that the tenth person to told me to watch
it is. It is a very addictive and wonderful show,
and it's about this wildly wealthy media family. And just
to get straight to the point, the production values are
extraordinary and they're always gathering in these just over the
(24:52):
top places they can, they convene in helicopters, they get
out people wait on them, and they are the most wretched,
miserable family. They make each other so they terrify one another,
they terrorize one another, and I find it so satisfying
to watch because it really makes you realize that all
the optics can be so beautiful on the outside, and
(25:13):
the misery of it is palpable in mataial things don't
buy you happiness, and happiness is something that you you
find within and you work with and to find what
works for you, what works against you, and it's hard
work that allows you to change those things and make
you a better version of yourself. It's my prayery day,
(25:35):
help me to be the best version of myself and
present the best version of myself. Well, you bring that
to all of your events. It's absolutely we were just
touched on something that I think is so important. We're
living in the world today that is completely over assorted
and saturated with products and services, and even if you
look in the luxury world, there's this massive amount of
(25:56):
product coming down the pipeline, but the consumer base is
not getting it's not growing in proportion to the amount
of product that's coming down the line. So one or
two things are going to happen. You're either going to
build something that's amazing and it will be the best
and you'll get what you're worth for it. But because
there's just so much product out there, if you really
(26:18):
aren't very very good, you're going to build a fast
store project and you need to get a two or
three store price for it. And the only thing that's
going to bring loyalty is when you can create that
personal and that emotional connection with your consumer or your
guests or the end user. Because with such a choice
out there and the way millennials and now Gen z
(26:38):
are connected through social media, there's no reason to ever
go back because there's such an assortment of product. So
you have to do something in the experience, using the
sensors and focusing on their DNA to create that emotional connection.
If not, they'll shopping and they'll never come back to
your property or your hotel or your strang to what
(27:00):
it is that you're selling. I think one of the
things that has come across through your events is that
it's not just the the physical experience or even with
the senses. You can have a perfectly executed party with
great music and fabulous food and one and no one's
having a good time. So there is something, there's a
there is that that um human element of it. When
(27:25):
you work with your clients, how do you communicate that
to them, like that, this is your wedding, have a
good time, but but bring together? What is that yesterday? Is?
It's not really playing my straw to the senses. Some
people say to me, I want high energy from the
(27:45):
moment I walk in the room. Must know you're don't
exhausted two hours Okay, this is the seduction. The interesting
thing is that when you look at things, that volume
doesn't cost one cent to adjust the volume. Timing, the
most important thing at any event, does not cost one cent.
How many times have you gone to a party where
(28:07):
you're going to a wedding and you kept waiting forty
minutes before the bride came down the hour the cocktail
reception was an hour and a half, dinner was served
in three hours. You went, I'm tired, bored and drunk. Right,
I have packed with everyone, I woke with. You walked
down there fifteen minutes maximum after the printed invitation time.
(28:27):
I do cocktails in forty five minutes because by the
time I start moving you it's an hour. I like
to serve at dinner without speeches and toast in ninety minutes.
That when it comes to dancing, everything is front loaded.
We've taken as wonderful carefully thought. You've never looked at
your watch for one second. Because you do, I've lost you. Right.
(28:48):
No one got up from the table between courses and
went to the bar because we moved things along the
right way. Timing is the most important thing, right and
then volume. Just think about it. You go to a
party and they've got all speakers set up and the
music is loud from the time you walk out. There's
my word, I would saying when I walk into the
room and reminded a loud a little bit more upbit,
(29:10):
I'm gonna sit down, and I want the lights of
the brightness. I can find my table, I can read
my menu when I sit down. Bring the lights down,
bring the volume down. Let's have a fabulous dinner conversation,
right and towards the end of dinner, when dessert goes down,
Let's pick up the volume a little bit. Let's pick
up the rhythm a little bit. You know, the wines
now work, it affect the candles are blown down. It's
(29:30):
got a small rep tune off times around their face.
Then you'll dance forever. But the start stop, start stop,
and these two things I spoke about, you know, is
basically sound and timing cost nothing. But when you think
about it, when you go to events, there's are two
of the things that usually get in the way of
you having a good time. All right, So now I
want to ask you about your average like Tuesday night
(29:51):
with your husband, what do you do? What are your
rituals just being together when when nothing's happening, when nothing
is happening. For still, i have a very very well
stocked refrigerator and freezer. And I've had the same lady
work with me for twenty one years. I had to
walk down the hour with in a name can Gang okay,
(30:12):
And so I have a very I'm not one of
those New Yorker who eats and restaurants five nights a week.
I prefer to eat at home. I've written to cookbooks.
I love to cook. She helps me with the cooking.
But I will set the table every single night, our
light candles, I'll put the music on, I set the
mood that was day and this is our light completely
(30:33):
And even if they can have a Netflix night. I
put out trays, I put down placed math, to put
a candle in colored glass, I put a beautiful start
to napkin over there, lovely dishes me that don't have
a Netflix night. I believe in celebrating moments. I believe
in using my things. I use Linnen napkins every single day.
I use my best china, my sterling silvers in the
(30:53):
dishwasher right now because God, for I walked to a
car knock me over. I never have the opportunity. There's
wonderful things, and if you're blessed with those things, you
should use them on a daily basis. And I'd rather
give a set of my china with two chips in
the two my niece, knowing that we had such a
good time using that china versus something it was treated
as a precious object. So the celebration of life is
(31:17):
so important. There's always music, they're always candles, there's always
always playing to the census. Deming the lights. There's a
demonstrator every single lights switch. Okay, one last question. Moment's
turning sixty this year. You've got to call me immediately
to give me one piece of advice. What would you
do for I? Before I call you? What am I
starting to think about? I think you should think about
(31:39):
what do you want to accomplish out of this? What
would he really want? You know? And and for some
people it's a big party, and it could be you know,
for him it could be four into five hundred people, right,
But you also might think, maybe we take sixty people
or thirty couples away and we're going to celebrate sixty
or sixty and some amazing location and spend four fabulous
days together and bringing different people and do interesting things.
(32:02):
And I would you know, he's such a colorful, accomplished,
extraordinary man. You've got so much material to work with. Yeah,
I just keep revolving around the Wizard of Oz for
some reason, goes down. Sounds good? What month? Yeah? I
should probably start planning, right, And he is a birthday guy,
(32:24):
So the pressures on, pressure on. Happily you thank you,
thank you so much for being today. That quick, I
told you It's over in a flash. You can connect
with Coln on Instagram at Colin Cowi Lifestyle or on
his website Colin Cowie dot com. Until next time, Everyone
(32:45):
at a party. The Road to Somewhere is recorded in
New York City. Make sure you share, subscribe, rate, and
review us, and let us hear from you. Where are
you on your journey? Connect with us on Instagram and
Twitter at pod to Somewhere. Email us at road to
Somewhere at iHeartMedia dot com. Special thanks to our producer
(33:05):
Alicia Heywood. Thanks for joining us on the Road to Somewhere.
Available on the iHeart Radio app, on Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you get your podcasts.
I always believe in saying yes before I say no,
because it gives me the opportunity to say no. Yes,
it's like this, No, it's like this, And you know,
if you say no, you close yourself to opportunity. So
I'd like to say yes first and figure out what
it is. Is this right for me? It is wrong
for me? And then I'll move forward in a meaningful way.
(00:31):
Hey there, thanks for joining us on the road to
somewhere where we talk about exploration, adventure. Major life change
and transformation is not not necessarily knowing where we're going,
but having faith that the journey will be worthwhile. I'm
Lisa Oz, and I am jel Herzig, and I am
an avowed non birthday celebrator. But I know in your family,
(00:52):
Lisa birthdays get marked, they get celebrated. Well, everyone else
has done. I don't. I don't love the aging thing.
But any excuse for a fun party, right, any excuse
for a fun party. And I feel like I'm learning,
and we'll learn today that I need to mark these
transitions in my life. Oh yes, I think it's very important,
(01:14):
which is why we have the Guru of celebration with
us today. Colin Cowie is and the most extraordinary event
designer and producer. He creates luxurious experiences around the world.
He's the author of ten best selling books and the
CEO and founder of Colin Cowie Lifestyle. Colin, thank you
so much for beating with us today. Happy to be
(01:34):
here and so happy to be greeted with tequila and
the slassla at this hour in the morning. Well, we figured,
we figured it should be a party. If you're coming,
we have to invite you to something celebratory. Alright, people,
chin hello, Okay, it should be I like that. For
those of you who are not with us, we are
(01:54):
drinking tequila. Oh my god, hallelujah, Good morning ten and
the more name, it's six o'clock somewhere. You never have
to make an excuse when your toast Wow, so awesome.
So there needs to be a name for what I'm doing.
I'm slugging a cappuccino with a head of tequilla and
(02:15):
and a squeeze of one. What is that? Living life?
It's called living life? Right, Schizophrenia one of the other. Well,
coffee and tequila are very good combinations. They complement one another. Well,
there you go. Can we talk a little bit about
that your celebratory for life philosophy. Yes, I am a
very very big believer in celebrating milestones, birthdays, anniversaries. I
(02:38):
think it's important that we do. It's a great way
to acknowledge one another, to be able to honor one another.
And I just celebrated a very very big event. You know,
I have written so many books on the subject and
did it for everyone else. I thought the weddings was
something I only did for other people. I didn't relate
that one day I was going to form madly hope,
(03:00):
clee in love at the stage of my life and
want to get married tell us about And it was
so obviously it was ridiculously she conglamorously fabulous and beautiful
and over the top. And there were Safari parties and
cocktail receptions and mikan Ostar beach parties, and then we
took everyone to the vineyard and we did this incredible,
dunopart incredible reception in ceremony from six pm until six am.
(03:24):
But the most beautiful part of all of it were
the things that people said about us. It was just
I have never felt so loved in my entire life before.
And it's kind of interesting because this is something that
I do for everyone else. All of a sudden, the
spotlight was kind of reverse. And how did you encourage that?
Because sometimes, um, I don't know, Like for example, I
(03:47):
for years I didn't give toasts at weddings. I let
other people do it, and then finally, I don't know,
when I broke the ice, I was like, I have
to stand up and do this. Partly it was the
fact that I looked around and no women were giving toes,
and it made me so angry that I stood up
and gave to us, even though I was scared. They
just don't happen. So what did How did you create
(04:08):
space for that? I designed it that way and I
wanted that win, and I didn't want to just have
a party that was over the top, Oh my god,
the greatest party I wanted. I wanted to have soul
and I wanted to have heart. So our events started
on Safari. We took a hundred and twenty people into
South African wilderness, and we had five families in each camp.
(04:29):
So all these camps, the second night came instead of
at the end of the game, right came to our
party side, which was called a Kalamo flage just as
your favorite exotic animal. Well, it was amazing that people
got the most incredible outfits. The interesting thing is my
husband Danny comes from Argentina and I'm from South Africa.
(04:51):
Three hundred million years ago, Cape Town and Rhonosaris were joined.
You've rejoined, so we brought them back fourth circle. And
I found this incredible storyteller from dormant, an incredible any
and she told our story and she's told its spiritually
and was so beautiful because all it did. Everyone had
(05:13):
come from all over the world and she told the
story for fifteen minutes. There wasn't a dry eye in
the house and it kind of set the table for
what was to happen when it was going to be
beautiful and glamorous and elegant. But I think you always
want soul at an event. I think it's what pulls
us all together. Now, that's why I love rituals, because
rituals bring us all together when we all do one
thing together. When you think about it, you come from
(05:36):
you broke a hell in the room, you had an argument,
your carl was late. Everyone arrives in a different state
of mind. A ritual can get us focused within five
degrees of one another. What's your what is your favorite ritual?
I want to get to that. So when I did,
we decided the beginning of each event would select certain
of our friends to speak, so we had two friends
at each event speak for us and the pressure of song.
(06:00):
So they planned their talks. They planned their talks very,
very too. It's not like you just extempor an easily
saying I love you man. When we were picked from
each side, him and myself for someone to speak at
the at the Safari dinner, someone to speak at the
welcome cocktail reception, someone to speak at the beach, and
then at the wedding. Our friends took this so seriously
(06:22):
and they researched and they wrote, and it was so beautiful.
I mean I I bawled my eyes out, and not
the one that usually does that head the clinics to
somebody else, but I was so completely touched that people
have taken so much time to write and put all
this stuff together that now I'm compiling a book of
all the speeches and the toasts and letters that we
got afterwards of everyone said it was the most magical
(06:45):
event imaginable. Was there something that someone said that opened
the aperture for you and helped you see yourself for
your so many things. There was just so many things,
you know, and we decided we didn't want to exchange rings,
so we made these brace Oh my goodness, and then
they were screwed on me through the screw drither away afterwards.
But at the ritual, the ritual that we did for this,
(07:07):
they were on a beautiful tray and my friends Loanlanderman Bonnett,
who I did her wedding twenty years ago, she did
my wedding. It was amazing, and she put so much
work and effort into the sermon. It was incredible. But
we did. We took these bracelets and then we put
them into the audience and each guest put them again
to their heart because metal to carry pressous energy, and
(07:28):
they made a wish for us. They passed all the
way through until every single guest to touch them, and
then we did the ritual of actually putting these bracelets
on forever. That's a beautiful. There is something powerful about
ritual where you are taking something that is other world,
that is on a on a different level, right of
a different dimensions, something something ineffable or intangible, and you're
(07:49):
concratizing it, you're making it physical, physical, so interesting. I
remember when I did Jehan George's wedding, the very famous chef.
I said him, I want you to bake a loaf
of bread and use all the spices and herbs that
remind us of your wife, and we'll break bread together
the ceremony, which is what we did, because I love
doing things like that, and we were once created a ceremony.
(08:11):
We did an arbor. There wasn't a single flower in
the arbor, but at all these branches are goodinius. And
as each guest came, they went down to the arbor
and they put put a piece of the flowers into
the arbor and made a witch for the couple. So
collectively watched this whole thing come together and was made
with all the beautiful love wishes from all the all
the guests to gathered. I love that all of these
(08:33):
are active things, the things that do, because I think
they allow you to participate. And then another one that
I love to do at a ceremony, I like to
give each person a yard of silk fabric and say
right a note to the couple and then put them
all on an arch before they walk down the art,
so they're walking in the breeze through all the love
of all their family and friends, and you roll them
(08:54):
all up, put them in a gorgeous box and said,
if ever you had a bumpyr, note your friends always
here to support you. If so, three things you've mentioned
about the rituals that you've created involved the senses. You
have the gardinia, so as with the branches of guardinas,
you're wafting the center of Guardina. Who had talked about
the loaf of bread with all the spices, so that's taste,
and then you just talked about the silk, so it's tactile.
(09:15):
How important are the senses? I love your question because
people say to me and if you look at my
body of work, no two projects ever look the same
because I always start with your DNA and then I
add to that the five senses, what your small touch tastes.
You're here, and let's how tell your story. That's way
it's always authentic because you always come back to your
(09:36):
DNA and that's where you find at the end of
the day. If you plan an event, it becomes utterly, uniquely,
totally all about you, and then we add to that
is it morning, noon or not? Bring some of the
winter fall, and it allows us to figureut what ingredients,
what colors, what text and things we're working with. So
that way, it's always unique and it's always personal and
it's always different. I love that when we come back,
(09:58):
I want to talk about how unique you are as
a person. We've been chatting with the incompable Hall and
Cali and about parties and you were wedding in particular.
We back it up a little bit and just talk
(10:20):
about because we're on this road to somewhere and we
want to talk about your journey and how you came
from South Africa and became really like the pre eminent
party planner in the world um Oprah's party planner UM.
And we've been to many events together, we have, and
they're always fabulous. But let's talk about your journey a
(10:41):
little bit. It's interesting. I was born in a very
small town in Central Africa, in Zambia. My family immigrated
to South Africa because the change of politics, and once
again I was very disheartened by the political situation in
South Africa and in my very early twenties at the
heart of Apartite. I didn't think it was a fair
place to live, and I didn't ever think there would
(11:02):
be a future there under that count regime. And of
course all of our money and bank accounts for tract
and monitored. So I left South African on the fifteenth
September four dollars, one world cuts to it, an omniperson
sountin and huge dreams. He left a lot behind, Yes,
And I literally started with absolutely nothing, and I worked
(11:25):
in a catering company, and then I watched how they
did things, and six weeks later I had my own
catering company, and and then and it was amazing because
I had been in Europe the previous summer and there
were all these ingredients. People was don angel head past
to a tomato sauce, and it was bronzino and a
salad of a regular ridiculous version on de Even when
(11:46):
I started talking about these things in Los Angeles, they
thought they were small islands of the coast of Italy, ridiculous.
So I had this unique sense of Styland's amazing. I
did a party and it was for Bruce Willis because Sharevera,
Haroldover's ex wife was dating at the time he just
got the show called Moonlighting was the first party that
(12:08):
ever had, and at the party was Barber Strassen and
Schwartzenegger and Stallone and all these people. Was unbelievable. The
pressure was on, huh and the first party clue. But
I turned out this fabulous party at the sex young
girls and girls serving. I had fires on the beach
in Malibu and my phone never stopped ringing. And after
(12:28):
the rest, literally how I got started? And did you
ever feel terribly overwhelmed by the growth of your business?
High pressure stuff? I never had the time too. I
mean in those times like Chopped's, Last, Last Appealed, Clean
Served whatever it was as a one man show, and
I pulled in what I needed to and became resourceful.
And then and then I built a substantial sized events
(12:51):
and catering company. And then in Star magazine started and
they wanted someone that had access to celebrities. I became
the contributing editor in the magazine business. And because of
that I got my first television show. Then it was
the CBS Morning Show, and then it was Tissues in
China and licensing programs, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. And you just
(13:13):
say yes to everything. Do you say no? Sometimes you
do so no. I really believe that you need to
figure out there was a period of time when I
did say yes to everything, and then you don't move
anything forward. I think the power of no is very important,
just as the power of yes it is important. I
always believe in saying yes before I say no, because
(13:34):
it gives me the opportunity to say no. Yes, it's
like this, No, it's like this, And you know, if
you say no, you close yourself to opportunity. So I
like to say yes first and figure out what it is.
Is this right for me? Is it's wrong for me?
And then I'll move forward in a meaningful way. If not,
I'll saying no. And also, I mean the two ways
(13:55):
yet one I think they're qualified. Actually I'm it's execute
in spiritually. I leave in being a yes person because
it opens up so many opportunities for you when it
comes to career. I believe in being very disciplined because
there's so many opportunities out there. When you say yes
to everything, you get to dilute what you're doing. You
don't move anything forward. So the power of no and
(14:16):
discipline I think is very important when you're dealing with
your personality, your character, your career from that point of view,
So it sounds so if someone listening right now, it
sounds like you got luck, lucky right, one lucky break
after another, you got this Bruce Willis party, and then
all these time then and then added to you Heer's wedding,
the world's most famous bachelor got married. But there's there
(14:38):
is something more than luck there. There's something about the
way that you approached it. Because I'm sure there are
many caterers who have done a celebrities event and haven't
taken off. So how do you what is the secret
sace that? What do you think differentiates you that someone
could actually emulate if you were mentoring? Sure, hard work.
I've worked incredibly hard, and I love my work, so
(15:00):
I never think of it as a task or an effort.
I think work is important. Um, a curious nature and
a curious mind I think opens those doors for you
and and someone who's very, very committed to what you're doing,
and then believing. I remember, I wasn't qualified for any
of this. I kind of learned as I went along,
you know. And then in the writing ten books on
the subject, but I've always thrown myself in the deep
(15:23):
end and figured out how to get to the other side.
You know, I I don't want to sound I don't
have very much fear. I'd like to go into things
kind of calculated with with the with the right troops.
I don't think you could be in this business if
you had fear. First of all, the amount of responsibility
(15:44):
that we take on when you do a single event,
and when you think about it, between lighting and sound
and music and people and entertainers and food and waiters
and bars, I mean, you've got eighteen different disciplines, okay,
and you have to get them all to perform at
their maximum on cue, on time, like threading a needle,
and this is live television. There's no take two three,
(16:07):
he could we do that all over again? So you
always think acts of nature exactly completely. So you're thinking
ahead and your problem solving and whilst you're in the
moment of a yeah, what's coming forty minutes down the lot.
It is an immense amount of pressure. And you've seen
when we've done to buy in those massive, big projects.
You know, when you've got two and a half thousand starts,
(16:28):
you've got sorry, four thousand stuff and two and a
half thousand guests, and you have eighteen different disciplines and
fireworks was the largest fireworks to explain the history of
the world. All right, now, I have to ask you
to take it way down to human scale now for
a second, because I am someone who loves to entertain,
but I get and I love marking moments, important moments.
(16:50):
But I am a super nervous entertainer at the same time.
So you have zero fear and do this at the
highest level imaginable. But I think something that stops ordinary
folk like myself from marketing occasions and gathering people as
much as we could and shouldn't want to. It's just fear.
So how do you get the three reasons? For three reasons? A,
(17:11):
you think it's going to take too much time, be
you don't believe you have the ability to do it,
and see it might cost too much money. So I
believe that today's savy entertaining is a resourceful entertainer. You
can walk into anyone of our supermarkets, you can walk
into anyone of our fabulous grocery stores. There's incredible pre
prepared foods, there's wonderful salamis and cheeses and poach shrump
(17:33):
and whatever it is that your might is where you
can buy things and put them out in advanced the
key to entertaining is, as with everything else, is to
be proactive and to do everything before your guests get there.
The other thing is in America we have this terrible
premonition idea that we're supposed to impress people when we
entertain them. Yes, I think that's completely wrong. Entertained for
two reasons, to make you comfortable and to make you welcome.
(17:54):
The rest will happen naturally, so you know, whether it's
a picture of a pre made drink, or bottle of
white wine on us or bottle of bubbly on ice,
a couple of glasses like a few candles, turn on
the music, putting it out an appetizer to a piece
of cheese and a fabulous baget of bread. That's the
party in myrs. You can go do and then watch
the beach set and then watch the sunset on the beach,
(18:16):
or do it at your home. It's really not about
impressing people. And we have such incredible resources in the
big cities that we live in today that you know
you don't have to make it yourself. You can go
to your favorite restaurant and give them a castle or
try and say for me. And you know, it goes
from the oven to the table. So because the idea
is to be glued to the dining of chain or
(18:36):
chained to the kitchen stove. So I love the idea
of doing a big one pot wonder or a big stew,
or a cattle roll, or a big pasta or a
big salad that comes to the table. You pasted around,
you break bread, you drink wine, you talk, your toast,
you speak. And I think some of my most magical
and our most memorable moments are those spent around a
downing table with family and friends. That's true, it's true.
(19:00):
But there's a I think all the preparation. First of all,
it sounds like preparations a big part of it, right,
be ready to have your wine on ice. But there's
there's a um a, an emotional element that you bring
to it too. And I think so many like Joe
and You're you talk about entertaining. If you're totally stressed out,
it's not gonna be fun for you. And everybody catches
(19:22):
that vibe. Well, you've all been to someone's house and
you're knocked on the door to look far too long
for the door to be honest, and the doors onto
there was your your hostess with more ingredients on the
apron than made it into the salad dressing right. And
then finally you she're still setting the table and shopping
and peeling, so you don't feel that hundreds in welcome,
(19:42):
and she makes brief appearances between courses. She's so stressed
by the end of the night that she doesn't do
it again at all Thanksgiving, right, it's because she picked
a complicated menu, something that kept her. That thinks she
felt that she had to impress you. You know, whenever
you come to entertaining, successfully do what you can in
advance to everything advanced. You can sit back and be
(20:04):
a guest, set your bar up, put the us up,
put the slast lemons out. People can help themselves to drink.
You can make itself a self above its beautifully said
it very easily. You can set your food out, really
really easily. And I remember once having things that come
from me up into the table so you sit down
and you have fun together. The other thing I learned
the hard way was remembered to save time to have
(20:25):
a shower, because I once remember I set up and
did everything in advance to have twenty something people to
my house for Thanksgiving, and five minutes before they were
supposed to get there, I realized that I was in
my pajamas, literally in my pajamas. I hadn't show. I
would say, take five minutes ago, splash some wood in
your face, put on a clean shirt, some lipstick, and
(20:45):
some and some fragrance, turn up the music, turned on
the lights, and you've gone from daytime to nighttime. Perfect.
I love it. When we come back, we're gonna talk
more about the pressures or party throwing. H So we're
(21:07):
talking about celebration and entertaining, and we were talking about
how difficult it can be sometimes if you put too
much pressure on yourself. And I loved your idea where
just kind of embrace the fact that you haven't had
a shower. Let's stick in a different shirt. You can
stay in your pajamas and it could be fun. Absolutely,
But in this era of Instagram and everyone's so competitive,
(21:28):
and everyone's like, if anyone on the planet saw your wedding,
they would never want to throw another party. Because nothing
competes with that. And how do we societally or as
individuals let go of that weird need to have everything
be picture Instagram. Yeah, I have to tell you. The
best thing that it at my wedding was on the Thursday,
(21:50):
we had this fabulous at the Grand Beach in Cape Town,
Beautiful rot on the water, fabulous making our start beach party.
It was amazing. I was so freaked out from all
the selfies and can we take a picture and you're
having a conversation, let's take a picture that can you
use my chemic I never got anywhere socially with anyone
that I got so frustrated. My point niece wanted to
(22:12):
take a picture myself. I don't even think of it.
You can a family picture tomorrow night. We're out of this.
And the best thing I did at the wedding was
I made little sleeping bags that said time to rest, disconnect,
to connect, and I asked everyone to put their phone
in a little sleeping bag and be present. It was
so nice to walk down looking at a hundred and
seventies six smiling faces versus looking at a hundred screens
(22:36):
people trying to capture things. So that they could prove
to Instagram that they were there and their picture was better.
I'm a little bit on the line there, and I
use Instagram and use social media for my business, but
there really is something to be said about being present today.
And the cool thing was because I was so strong
about the message and not using the phone at the ceremony,
no one used their phone to the rest of the night. Yeah,
(22:59):
I actually be president. It was a different party. It
was something very warm about the way you did it.
You take your phone, your beloved phone, and get in here.
I wonder if there's like a loving way to skating,
there's a loving way to do anything and everything. I
think it's it's all how you present, as with anything
(23:21):
in life. Yeah, that's genius. And also I don't know,
getting back to what you were talking about earlier a
least about how there's a sensual element. I think that's
something that is getting lost on our with our obsession
with social media. All we are doing is absorbing with
our eyes and there's no sense that there was there's
a full experience, and that's so right. I went to
(23:44):
a party, as provided a party in Ireland and it
was dreadful, but it was instagrammably fabulous. Okay, so what
made it bad, let's dish about it. The host just
didn't put time or thought a love into it, and
they picked the has to extravagant place in island for
this whole group of people to fly there, and then
they're under delivered in terms of the food and the
(24:06):
beverage and entertainment and those things. And I kind of
think if you're going to do that, then you need
to go the full way, all the way across. And
I think that it's important that we have not just
the prettiness, but we we we we we connect them
and that's the real reason why we come together. Right,
So I think the idea of of of you have
(24:29):
to have an emotional connection in everything today otherwise you're
just a product succession. Have you ever watched this? No,
but that the tenth person to told me to watch
it is. It is a very addictive and wonderful show,
and it's about this wildly wealthy media family. And just
to get straight to the point, the production values are
extraordinary and they're always gathering in these just over the
(24:52):
top places they can, they convene in helicopters, they get
out people wait on them, and they are the most wretched,
miserable family. They make each other so they terrify one another,
they terrorize one another, and I find it so satisfying
to watch because it really makes you realize that all
the optics can be so beautiful on the outside, and
(25:13):
the misery of it is palpable in mataial things don't
buy you happiness, and happiness is something that you you
find within and you work with and to find what
works for you, what works against you, and it's hard
work that allows you to change those things and make
you a better version of yourself. It's my prayery day,
(25:35):
help me to be the best version of myself and
present the best version of myself. Well, you bring that
to all of your events. It's absolutely we were just
touched on something that I think is so important. We're
living in the world today that is completely over assorted
and saturated with products and services, and even if you
look in the luxury world, there's this massive amount of
(25:56):
product coming down the pipeline, but the consumer base is
not getting it's not growing in proportion to the amount
of product that's coming down the line. So one or
two things are going to happen. You're either going to
build something that's amazing and it will be the best
and you'll get what you're worth for it. But because
there's just so much product out there, if you really
(26:18):
aren't very very good, you're going to build a fast
store project and you need to get a two or
three store price for it. And the only thing that's
going to bring loyalty is when you can create that
personal and that emotional connection with your consumer or your
guests or the end user. Because with such a choice
out there and the way millennials and now Gen z
(26:38):
are connected through social media, there's no reason to ever
go back because there's such an assortment of product. So
you have to do something in the experience, using the
sensors and focusing on their DNA to create that emotional connection.
If not, they'll shopping and they'll never come back to
your property or your hotel or your strang to what
(27:00):
it is that you're selling. I think one of the
things that has come across through your events is that
it's not just the the physical experience or even with
the senses. You can have a perfectly executed party with
great music and fabulous food and one and no one's
having a good time. So there is something, there's a
there is that that um human element of it. When
(27:25):
you work with your clients, how do you communicate that
to them, like that, this is your wedding, have a
good time, but but bring together? What is that yesterday? Is?
It's not really playing my straw to the senses. Some
people say to me, I want high energy from the
(27:45):
moment I walk in the room. Must know you're don't
exhausted two hours Okay, this is the seduction. The interesting
thing is that when you look at things, that volume
doesn't cost one cent to adjust the volume. Timing, the
most important thing at any event, does not cost one cent.
How many times have you gone to a party where
(28:07):
you're going to a wedding and you kept waiting forty
minutes before the bride came down the hour the cocktail
reception was an hour and a half, dinner was served
in three hours. You went, I'm tired, bored and drunk. Right,
I have packed with everyone, I woke with. You walked
down there fifteen minutes maximum after the printed invitation time.
(28:27):
I do cocktails in forty five minutes because by the
time I start moving you it's an hour. I like
to serve at dinner without speeches and toast in ninety minutes.
That when it comes to dancing, everything is front loaded.
We've taken as wonderful carefully thought. You've never looked at
your watch for one second. Because you do, I've lost you. Right.
(28:48):
No one got up from the table between courses and
went to the bar because we moved things along the
right way. Timing is the most important thing, right and
then volume. Just think about it. You go to a
party and they've got all speakers set up and the
music is loud from the time you walk out. There's
my word, I would saying when I walk into the
room and reminded a loud a little bit more upbit,
(29:10):
I'm gonna sit down, and I want the lights of
the brightness. I can find my table, I can read
my menu when I sit down. Bring the lights down,
bring the volume down. Let's have a fabulous dinner conversation,
right and towards the end of dinner, when dessert goes down,
Let's pick up the volume a little bit. Let's pick
up the rhythm a little bit. You know, the wines
now work, it affect the candles are blown down. It's
(29:30):
got a small rep tune off times around their face.
Then you'll dance forever. But the start stop, start stop,
and these two things I spoke about, you know, is
basically sound and timing cost nothing. But when you think
about it, when you go to events, there's are two
of the things that usually get in the way of
you having a good time. All right, So now I
want to ask you about your average like Tuesday night
(29:51):
with your husband, what do you do? What are your
rituals just being together when when nothing's happening, when nothing
is happening. For still, i have a very very well
stocked refrigerator and freezer. And I've had the same lady
work with me for twenty one years. I had to
walk down the hour with in a name can Gang okay,
(30:12):
And so I have a very I'm not one of
those New Yorker who eats and restaurants five nights a week.
I prefer to eat at home. I've written to cookbooks.
I love to cook. She helps me with the cooking.
But I will set the table every single night, our
light candles, I'll put the music on, I set the
mood that was day and this is our light completely
(30:33):
And even if they can have a Netflix night. I
put out trays, I put down placed math, to put
a candle in colored glass, I put a beautiful start
to napkin over there, lovely dishes me that don't have
a Netflix night. I believe in celebrating moments. I believe
in using my things. I use Linnen napkins every single day.
I use my best china, my sterling silvers in the
(30:53):
dishwasher right now because God, for I walked to a
car knock me over. I never have the opportunity. There's
wonderful things, and if you're blessed with those things, you
should use them on a daily basis. And I'd rather
give a set of my china with two chips in
the two my niece, knowing that we had such a
good time using that china versus something it was treated
as a precious object. So the celebration of life is
(31:17):
so important. There's always music, they're always candles, there's always
always playing to the census. Deming the lights. There's a
demonstrator every single lights switch. Okay, one last question. Moment's
turning sixty this year. You've got to call me immediately
to give me one piece of advice. What would you
do for I? Before I call you? What am I
starting to think about? I think you should think about
(31:39):
what do you want to accomplish out of this? What
would he really want? You know? And and for some
people it's a big party, and it could be you know,
for him it could be four into five hundred people, right,
But you also might think, maybe we take sixty people
or thirty couples away and we're going to celebrate sixty
or sixty and some amazing location and spend four fabulous
days together and bringing different people and do interesting things.
(32:02):
And I would you know, he's such a colorful, accomplished,
extraordinary man. You've got so much material to work with. Yeah,
I just keep revolving around the Wizard of Oz for
some reason, goes down. Sounds good? What month? Yeah? I
should probably start planning, right, And he is a birthday guy,
(32:24):
So the pressures on, pressure on. Happily you thank you,
thank you so much for being today. That quick, I
told you It's over in a flash. You can connect
with Coln on Instagram at Colin Cowi Lifestyle or on
his website Colin Cowie dot com. Until next time, Everyone
(32:45):
at a party. The Road to Somewhere is recorded in
New York City. Make sure you share, subscribe, rate, and
review us, and let us hear from you. Where are
you on your journey? Connect with us on Instagram and
Twitter at pod to Somewhere. Email us at road to
Somewhere at iHeartMedia dot com. Special thanks to our producer
(33:05):
Alicia Heywood. Thanks for joining us on the Road to Somewhere.
Available on the iHeart Radio app, on Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you get your podcasts.
Road to Somewhere News
Hosts And Creators
Lisa Oz
Jill Herzig
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