May 8, 2019 • 32 mins
Actress, Comedian, and dear friend Kim Coles visits with an update on her latest venture: teaching each one of us to speak our gifts.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Let's face it, if you're a business owner or an
entrepreneur or speaker or coach or whatever it is you do,
you want people connecting to you because that's how you
will share your products and services. That's how you'll share
your why. I have the biggest why now ever, that
is even bigger than me wanting to be an actress. Hello,
(00:32):
and welcome to you Turns the podcast where we talk
about all things change and transformation. And I am Lisas
and I'm Shell Herzig. And today we say we're catching
up with an old friend of yours. Yes, a very
very dear, not so old. She's a young at least
young at heart friend of mine. Um. Actually, Kim and
(00:52):
I go pretty far back. I have this thing I
like fall in love with people I work with. I mean,
it happened with Alicia, happen with you, happened with Kim Sally.
Kim's on the West Coast. Um, because she is an
entertainer extraordinaire. She is an actress and a comedian and
a host and a speaker. I am talking about the
magnificent Kim Cole's. Kim, thank you so much for being
(01:15):
with us today. Thank you, Jill and Lisa, and yes,
I am your old friend and that you know. Listen,
I'm fifty seven years old. I tell the truth, but
old as in we did. We worked together and I
fell in love with you two, and we had a
show that was going to be a hit, but nobody
else saw it. So it's so sad that that didn't
(01:35):
go anywhere because that would have been still have the
picture on my phone, I still do. Yeah, it makes
me happy. It was fun. So at that point in
our careers, Kim and I were both going to be
uh talk show hosts, and we've kind of gotte in
different directions. For people who maybe too young to have
watched your acting career, can you just give us a
(01:58):
little brief rundown of where you were and where you've come.
And yeah, I started out as a stand up comedian
and I actually stepped on stage for the first time
in so I'm really dating myself. But shortly thereafter I
booked two massively major iconic shows and they are in
(02:18):
Living Color and then Living Single in that order. And uh.
So I spent a great deal of the nineties on
television and happily doing my thing, and I still happily
do my thing. But I began transitioning and this is
perfect for this show. I began thinking of what else
can I do while I'm waiting for a gig? You know,
(02:41):
even today as we're talking, I leave here and I
have an audition, but I'm not and I hope that
I get it. It It would be nice to get it,
but I have other multiple streams of income coming in
based on the gifts that I have and that I
put out in the world. And so that feels, you know, strong,
and I feel powerful and I feel like I'm not
sitting around waiting and so I use my I call
(03:03):
it the gifts of love and laughter and reminding others
that they have gifts inside of them that need to
be opened. And I like to call it Broadcast your Brilliance.
So that's the speaking, the books, the touring, the programs
where I teach people how to tell their story so
people will know me as Sinclair on Living Single. That's
the show with Queen Latif. I would like to call
(03:24):
it The Black Friends give people references, so with the
Black Friends and the young Black Golden Girls, and I
would be Rose or Phoebe in reverse Opportunity Opportunities um
and had a great time, and those residual checks still
come in. But I've made several you turns in my life,
and I know we'll talk about those. Two. Let's talk
(03:45):
about gifts, and by that I mean the acronym that
is you know you You've put a whole fabulous book
out into the world called Open Your Gifts, which is
an anthology, and you wrote the sort of kickoff essay. So,
so tell us what gift? What's an acronym standing for?
I will tell you, And it's actually done so well
that I'm on anthology number two that came out a
(04:07):
few months ago. So gifts is an acronym for gratitude, intention,
for giveness, triumphs, and self love. Can I give you
your little points on for us? Yeah. So, when I
was going through a really difficult time after um my
nineties my my heyday of the nineties ended, uh, and
(04:29):
really searching for what the next thing would be, Like,
wait a minute, if I'm not on the show, what
are my gifts? I think I'm supposed to make the
world laugh. I think I'm supposed to be here to
add humor to to life. And if I'm not getting
a chance to do that on TV, how can I
do this? And through a lot of exspiration and a
lot of therapy and frankly, the Screen Actors Guild gives
you forty sessions of therapy at a twenty dollar copay.
(04:55):
I was like, Oh, it pays to be crazy. I'm
gonna make this work. So I got myself into therapy
and got myself undepressed and really clear about what my
gifts are. And the first gift was reminding, being reminded
that being grateful every single day is the key to
so much more happiness, so much more abundance. I know
(05:16):
I'm preaching to the choir here. It's just being grateful
for what already is instead of paying attention to what
you don't have, and it just changes the perspective. And
when you have a new perspective on things, you can
then do anything, I really think. So that was the
first piece. And because I was searching for what my
gifts were, I was like, I don't know if I
have any gifts. I was like, yes, I do. I'll
make it an acronym. The eye stands for intention or
(05:39):
inspired action. So it's about getting uh in inspired action
on your dreams, your hopes, your wishes, your goals uh
and staying intentional uh in in every step that you make,
or as many steps as possible. The F is for forgiveness,
which is all about letting go things that don't serve
you anymore. Forgiving the ex husband because he was crazy
(06:00):
and I was crazy when I married him, you know
that thing, um, And letting go that which doesn't serve
you anymore. Why are we holding onto that old story? Uh?
It's forgiving that, and it creates space for so much
more to come in The T is for triumphs. I
love this one because it's about standing in your triumphant self,
(06:20):
standing where you are magnificent. What you're not good at
is none of your business. If you stand where you rock,
if you stand in where you are awesome, then all
that other stuff falls away. I don't have to be
good at math or cooking or driving. I could be
really good. Those are my Those are my I'm not
triumphant in any of those things. But I am triumphant
(06:43):
in walking to a room and making people smile. I
am triumphant in creativity. I am triumphant, and in my
capacity to love. I am triumphant in my sparkly nail Polish.
I mean, whatever it is stand in that truth and
the s is for self love, which I really believe
that the exploration of all of this kind of work
(07:04):
that we do, you know, listening to a podcast like
this is actually an act of self love. It's pouring
into yourself and and filling your cup when so many
things in the world would empty your cup out, and
you would empty your cup out too by giving, giving, giving,
or trying to be something that you aren't. It's filling
your cup and and serving from your overflow. How did
(07:26):
you come to this philosophy? Was it one thing first? Did?
Or did did the full package descend from heaven and
into your break? It's just a wonderful kind of fire
hose of wisdom. It's it's thank you. You know well,
I'll tell you it came from. I really went into
(07:48):
a really dark depression after my after living single was canceled.
And the way I expressed my depression is I shop,
and I mean I have no discretion. It could be
Neiman Marcus, Sex with the Avenue, Macy's, or store, and
I can tell you I shopped through all of my
money and I shopped down to what I like to
(08:08):
call the three most important payments. You need. You need
a place to live, so your mortgage payment. You need
a car, especially in Los Angeles, or a way to
get around, and you need to get your hair done.
So I got to my last three payments, my mortgage,
my car note, and my hair weave, and I was like, okay,
now things are serious, and so let me let me
(08:32):
stop you there for a second. So has that had
that always been sort of your achilles heel, the place
where you went when when things got tough. Well, the
place that I was going was self worth. You know.
The shopping was I think a symptom of or an
outpouring of me not believing that I deserved what I had.
(08:53):
You know, these shows, this career had begun to make me.
I was a millionaire in the nineties and I'm just
a girl from Brooklyn, you know. And there's self worth
issues in that my parents are educated and I dropped
out of college four times. I mean, my grandmother went
back to get her masters in the fifties, in her fifties,
(09:15):
you know, and here it is this generation that didn't
finish college. Me Um, I didn't feel worthy, and so
I think that is why I shopped it away or
why I didn't feel like, who am I to have
a beautiful house and you know, drive a fancy schmancy car.
I'm just this girl from Brooklyn. I don't know you
know what I mean? I didn't. I didn't, I hadn't.
(09:35):
Um I should say I was a happy person and
I come from a default position of joy. That's easy
for me. But descending into this madness of what do
you mean I'm not going to be able to do
what I really want to do, especially since things happened
for me so quickly. You know, there's so many stories
of people, especially in show business, having uh you know,
(09:56):
struggled for years and years and years and then their
big break. Um, I'm telling you, within five years, I
was on national TV and rolling and so this downfall
so I thought, which was it was listen, it was
a breakdown that needed to happen so that I could
have a breakthrough. I had a crisis of faith. I
got mad at God, and God was like, Okay, I'll
(10:16):
be over here when you're ready to turn back to
the light, come on back. You know. I thought about suicide,
and not because I wasn't on a TV show. I
had lost all my mojo. Wait wait, and we need
to talk about You can't just gloss over this stuff.
When we come back, We're gonna go deep, all right
with Kim Cole. Before we were talking with Kim Cole's
(10:48):
and she mentioned a couple of things like crisis of faith,
contemplating suicide. I'm just gonna say, w t F Kim,
what was going on? What happened? How did you get
out of that hole? I mean, this is a this
is a lot of stuff to unpack here. It is
stuff you didn't tell me about when we're working together.
(11:09):
Then I just and I gotta say, I mean, really,
just huge thanks to you for being open about this.
Now I think it's it's so helpful to everyone who's listening.
Thank you. So well. Let me say this, it was
actually becoming. I call it my transparent truth. So now
I'm you know, well known, I'm broke and broken. I'm
(11:33):
going to red carpet events. I remember one time I
was at a u an opening of a Will Smith movie.
And a Will Smith movie is you know you've seen
all the Hollywood, you know, glitz and glam and the
red carpet, like you have not experienced anything like the
will Smith opening. You know, it's international press, and the
(11:53):
red carpet goes on for blocks. And I had twenty
seven dollars to my name this night, and yet I
to pretend that I was well and I was great
and I was glamorous. And it was after that night
that I had the full on breakdown, like I cannot
pretend anymore. I can't hide. I don't want people to
find out that I'm broken, broken, because we know, you know,
the gossip columnists and the you know, the shows and
(12:16):
all the things. And I just that was the moment
I decided to get myself into therapy because I was
having these thoughts of I was getting ladies. I was
mad that I was waking up in the morning. I
was like, God, you woke me up this morning. Don't
you know how much pain I'm in? Can't we just
shut this down? And I had made plans. I had oh,
I had a fiery, very dramatic ending planned for myself.
(12:42):
And it was um thinking of my parents that made
me stop. My parents do not deserve a daughter who
would take herself out, especially since I have been given
so much. I've been given all of these gifts, so
it seems like a fire our hose now because when
I finally got the moment that I cannot take myself out.
(13:05):
My parents are awesome, they're smart, and they're charming. I'm
the perfect combination of the two of them. And I
thought about what they would think if when they heard
that that I had shut myself out of this beautiful
experience called life. And that was what woke me up.
That was what made me get into therapy, and thank goodness,
(13:26):
I manifested a therapist who was actually spirit based, and
she said, we're not going to even dig into all
your old stuff. We're just gonna get you grateful and
aligned right now. And so it really did become a
pretty fast download because I got in alignment with gratitude,
started asking, well, what are my gifts? If I'm never
(13:46):
on another TV show, what can I do? My gifts
are love and laughter. Just go do that. You're able
to speak and share, just go do that. And so
I launched a speaking career, which I didn't even know
it was a career. I just wanted to start telling
the good news of gratitude. I became an evangelist for
grant gratitude. If you really want to know the truth.
(14:06):
And I started you speaking at conferences. You were speaking
so students to anybody who would listen. Okay, so so
women's empowerment conferences and um um um you know events
and things. You know, I used my name to get
me in the door. Maybe even even they may be
even booked me as a comedian. But while I was
(14:26):
on stage, I would share the inspirations that I had learned.
And I learned this thing that you don't have to
all have it all together, like we all think that
we have to have it all buttoned up and have
it all together. And this is where I learned the
phrase lift as you climb. There were times that I
was going on stage and sharing my story and I
(14:47):
was five minutes ahead of the people I was talking to.
I had five minutes ago learned a tool or a
technique for getting an alignment or feeling safe within my
body or whatever that thing was. And I was just
share ring and people were thanking form, thanking me for
being honest, or thanking me for giving them permission to
be okay with not being able to afford the red
(15:08):
bottom shoes anymore. Let me say this to you too.
This all happened before two eight when everybody else fell down.
So in two thousand eight came and everybody fell down financially,
I was like, oh, thank god, I'm not the only one. Right.
That seems so macab and terrible. But we think that
we're the only ones going through these problems, and when
you start sharing your story, you find out, oh, there's
(15:32):
more than one of us here. So I'm telling a
Hollywood story. But the truth is there's someone who's listening
to the sound of my voice who has also had
a crisis of faith and maybe contemplated suicide and contemplated
what am I really here to do and figured it
out or is in the process of figuring it out.
(15:52):
It just takes exploration, and it just takes asking yourself.
You want to know what helped too. I'm gonna tell
you the quote that helped me. It was zig Ziggler's quote, um,
and I always paraphrase it. I don't know if I
get it right, but you can have everything you want
if you help enough people get what they want. So
(16:12):
let me see if I get this right, if I
stop feeling sorry for myself and being worried about how
I'm going to get back on TV and how am
I going to make money? And how am I going
to pay my bills? And how am I going to
buy some more hair? If I start thinking about sharing
what I've learned and help others, I may be able
to make some money. I may be able to buy
the hair. I may be able to dot dot dot
(16:34):
feel in the blank. And that's exactly what happened. You know,
there's no h in your acronym, But I think humor
is also a big part of it. I mean, you
obviously are incredibly funny and beloved for your sense of humor,
but I think that's true for everyone. I think in
some ways it sort of belongs woven in there with
(16:54):
with you know, the other things you've mentioned, because being
able to be honest often means being able to just
laugh at it a little bit, laugh at the ridiculous
of humor and heart. Humor and heart. And you know,
I can only laugh at the bill collector who called
my house and knew exactly who I was and said
(17:15):
that she loved the show that I was on and
I wasn't even her favorite character. And I have to
love the day that she was like, well, what happened?
How come you don't have no money, and we start
talking and I start to cry, and she says to me,
stop crying. I'm gonna help you. And then she taught
me what to do. She said, stopped not answering the
phone calls first of all, answered the calls and asked
(17:36):
the creditor if you can just make a ten percent
deposit or if you can get on a payment plan.
And she put me on a payment plan that reduced
my rate, my interest rate to zero, which is one
of the reasons why I was extra broke because now
the interest rate goes up. She reduced my interest rate
to zero for a year and I was able to
pay that bill off. And then she says to me,
(17:58):
can I tell you a secret. This is my part
time job. I'm doing this to pay off my bills.
I understand exactly what you're going through. And I was like,
I was trying to avoid speaking to them because I
was afraid they wouldn't know who Kim called. My name
really is Kim Cole's. And so the very thing that
you're running from, it is often the thing that you
need to face. And when I face that with humor
(18:20):
and heart, that's part of my act now I do
a whole routine. I know her name, her name is Jackie,
and I feel like one day I'm going to meet her,
you know. And it is it's laughing at it, laughing
while you learn, it's looking at it and going fresh perspective.
How can I look at it from fresh new eyes
and come up with a solution that's not based in
pain and misery and lack and instead with love. And
(18:44):
it's also, at least in your case, if she never
would have been able to connect with you, if you
hadn't had these bills. So it's sort of where we're
broken that we can connect to each other because otherwise
we have all these perfect walls all up and nobody
can get in there up. And I found that and
and and it's beautiful. And now I talk about so
(19:06):
now I teach the power of storytelling, right, And I
talked to my clients and teach my clients and teach
anybody who I speak to to use your transparent truth.
And I mean, there is the question of how do
I tell my story without telling all my business? And
there's a way to do it with um, you know,
with with ease and grace and style. And you know,
you don't take people all the way to the pit
with you. You hopefully you've done some work in your
(19:27):
healing or at least on the healing path, but you're right,
there really is only one of us here, and you'd
be surprised who will connect to you and connect to
your story. And let's face it, if you're a business
owner or an entrepreneur, or a speaker or coach or
whatever it is you do, you want people connecting to
you because that's how you will share your products and services.
(19:48):
That's how you'll share your why. I have the biggest
why now ever, that is even bigger than me wanting
to be an actress. It's me wanting to remind people
that they have permission to go on this journey. They
have permission to I don't know. I want to say,
I want to believe. I have a coach who used
to say, Kim, there are no more monsters under the bed.
(20:11):
Like you know, you think that it's going to be
worse than it really is. If you just face it
and face it head on, and face it with love
and light and curiosity, and solutions will come your way.
This whole g I F T. S. Thing couldn't have
come if I hadn't gone through what I had gone
through and the exploration of Okay, now, how can I
help people? Well, if I make it a program, maybe
(20:32):
this will be a thing. And then lo and behold,
I'm able to have all my payments taken care of.
When we come back, We're going to learn even more
from the brilliant kimicles. We've been chatting with Kim Coals
(20:55):
about r G I F T S. You should write
a song about that. I do say too. I do not.
That is not one of my triumphant gives. Um. I
just want to quickly share a story about you. Uh,
you're gonna actually I'm just gonna introduce it, and you're
gonna tell us the story that you told me, because
I remember the first time I met you and you
(21:16):
reached out to shake my hand and you had this
very intriguing tattoo on your wrist and I asked you
about it. Do you remember that it was like our
first conversation ever, and you were so direct and so
honest and so there it is Goddess, It says, goddess love.
(21:36):
So can you tell us the story of that tattoo?
I wonder if I told you the whole story. Did
it involve red velvet cupcakes. I don't know if anything
that involved red velvet. So long story short, I was
dating a guy who was Oh he just smelled so good.
(21:57):
Oh my goodness, I just the minute I met him,
like gul his his his particular old or just I
don't know. There's this whole thing in the cologne that
he wore. He was handsome, and he was charming, and
he was a narcissist. Um and I just instantly fell
for him, and I instantly knew he was not right
for me. He said enough things to make me go run,
run run, but there was something about him, and I
remember dating him. We dated for a little while, and um,
(22:20):
I don't know if I told this story, but here
it is. We were we were we were watching a
movie late at night, and he had a white sofa
and a white rug. Right, We're eating these red velvet cupcakes,
watching a movie in the dark, and when we turned
the lights back on, there were crumbs on my side,
but no crumbs on his side. Now, I hope I
(22:40):
don't offend anyone, But he's a virgo, and Virgos are
very neat and very particular, so that's why there were
no crumbs. But he proceeded to just go in on
me about the crumbs and how could I let them fall?
And why would you let them fall on the rug?
And then I allowed this conversation to go on for
(23:00):
like an hour, allowed him to be raped me. First
of all, why do you have a white sofa and
a white rug? Anyway? Come on, hey, you know it's
called gravity. I can't help that the crumbs fell. It's
called dark. It was dark. I couldn't maybe I couldn't
see what was happening. Supposed to do unhinge your jaw
and put the whole damn cupcake in at once, and
it was that tasty. I could have done that, but
(23:23):
I just realized I was allowing this man to just
take me down. He was like he was indeed a narcissist,
and I didn't feel that I deserved better, and so
I allowed this to happen. And then finally one day
I got the gumption to break up and I cursed
him out. I just laid in. I just let him
have it. And he later told a friend, a mutual
friend of ours, that was the day that I discovered
(23:45):
that I had respect for her the day she cursed
me out. It's the day that I discovered respect. And
so I went the next morning after I cursed him
out and finally got him out of my life and
got the word goddess emblazoned into my body. And I'm
gonna tell you it hurt like it was being etched
into my soul because I needed to. And and Lisa
will tell you it's it's the way it's designed. It's
(24:06):
it actually faces me like if you look at it,
it looks upside down. It is so that I can
raise my arm and look at myself and be reminded
to only ever receive being treated like a goddess. Um.
And you know what's funny is that years later, you know,
I'm married now, and Lisa, you know, we talked about
marriage way back when, and you just really wanted me
(24:27):
to find someone yummy and wonderful. And I'll never forget
there was a birthday. We're only married four years, I
would say two years ago. He bought me a red
velvet cupcake for you know, for my birthday. He put
the candles on and blew them out, and I'll go, oh,
my goodness, what a difference. A few years makes and
we sat at the table, we ate the red velvet.
We laughed and we talked, and I was like, what
a full circle moment that now I have my king
(24:48):
in my life and I'm eating red velvet and he
doesn't care where the crumbs fall, you know, and where
in my life am I willing to take the crumbs
of life? And so that's the story of the tattoo.
I don't know if that's the story I told to
that day, because there's a lot that goes into but
I remember that that I needed to have it blazoned
into my soul. That is that away from people that
(25:09):
you need to get a tattooed to remind you of
what what a divine creature you are? What what else
did you do to sort of open yourself up to
love and finding the person you deserved? Constant exploration, curiosity,
(25:29):
self love, constant. I'm constantly open to learning more about
how I can love myself better. And I'm tender doesn't
make this list. No, tender is not will never make
the list. You know what's funny is I've broken up
with a guy and I met my Reggie like three
(25:50):
weeks later, I boo hooed a little bit, and then
I realized he and I never would have made it anyway.
Three weeks later, I met this man in South Carolina
at a natural hair event. He Lisa would of him.
He at the time he was a vegetarian. He's now
eating fish. He's a pscletarian, vegetarian, um metaphysicist, was a
pastor for twelve years or nine years, and he's also
(26:10):
you know, also studies, you know, all the When I
met hi, it's a long story short. He was a
police officer when I met him. And he was there too,
you know, be my escort right for the event. And
at the end of me speaking, I said to him,
I'm gonna go to each one of the vendors and
just drop. You know, it's a small town. I want
(26:31):
to make sure I, you know, give something back to
each of the vendors, So just make sure that I
move along to each tables thirty bucks. So we get
to the first table and there's these really yummy body
butters and I'm smelling them and rubbing them on my
hands and I was like, oh, this stuff is really yummy.
And he says to the girl at the table, give
her one of everything, and I'm like, oh my god,
Officer Reggie's gonna try to shake down the vendors, which
(26:54):
which I was like a little piece of me was
happy because I was like, okay, I'll save some money.
Was like, no, no, no, Officer Reggie, no no, no,
I don't want shakedown. I really want to buy one
of everything. He says, No, you don't understand. This is
my table. I make these butters. What you make the
body butters? Yes? And I infused them with quantum physics.
What who are you? Yeah? I infuse each one of
(27:15):
my body butters with good intentions and affirmation so that
when you use the body butter your your skin, it
feels smooth and moisturize. Something very sexy about the story man.
And I remember texting him the next day saying, your
body butters were divine, and and we started talking and
we've been together ever since. And I can't get him
(27:37):
to make the body butters anymore. But that's not the story. Now.
He's married right now and they got no time for
the body butters. But he got you with the body
butter anymore. So I attracted the most highest level version
of of of the man that I should be with
because I raised my own vibration. And again, I don't
(27:57):
pretend to be perfect. There's areas of my life, you know,
like health and fitness that I really want to get
that together. But all the mind stuff I study, I
stay present. I ask myself, how can I do this better?
What could I do better? How can I What is
this lesson here to serve me? Has been one of
the most valuable lessons I could ever learn, one of
(28:18):
the most valuable questions. What is this here to teach me?
Changes everything? Perspective. You mentioned health and fitness, and I
think that probably a large percentage of our listeners and
maybe one of our co hosts. I won't mention which one,
not the really skinny one sitting over there, but certainly
(28:39):
it's something I struggle with. How can we you and
I not Jill, she doesn't need um apply the philosophy
and by the way, the pre diabetic one over here,
but fine, but how do we apply? And you know
that body type does not does not dictate how healthy someone.
There's a lot of people who I have learned Lender
who may have Yeah, so health is health gifts philosophy
(29:05):
to shift our sense of self Okay, around our bodies. Okay,
you've just given me a task because this is gonna
be the thing that breaks through for me. So here
we go. Number one, being grateful for the body you
already have. I actually don't hate my body. I sleep
in the nude every day, so the first thing I
see is me but naked. You know what, I don't
(29:27):
hate her. I don't hate her. She could, she could
lose her stummy rolls, you know. But you know what,
I don't hate my body. I love that my body
takes me places and houses my soul. So Number one,
being grateful for the body you already have. Number two intentional.
Let's be intentional and and inspired in our eating. So
how can I eat one less bag of potato chips
(29:48):
a week? Okay, I still like my potato chips. Let
me eat a few less, a few less. And let
me be intentional about the goal that I'm setting for myself.
So if in six months, I'd like to shed x
number of paths ouns or or walk a little bit more,
walk three times a week, sort of setting small goals.
You're making me make this up. I love them. Being
(30:08):
intentional about if I say I want to be healthy,
and I want to love myself more than what can
I do. F is forgiveness, which forgive, which is forgiving
myself for the French FRIESE the French fry you and
I love right now, don't I know? We've had many
a French frie meal, and so forgiving yourself for that
and saying, you know what, so what I enjoyed them,
(30:30):
or while you're eating them too, so abouts. I think
sometimes it's about the energy that we put into the stuff,
like this is my cheat day, or this is what
I shouldn't be eating. I think the body and the
spirit knows that I know plenty of folks who eat
their French fries and enjoy them and have no guilt
around it, and their thighs don't rub. And so maybe
it's forgiving yourself for um, eating the whole sleeve of
(30:52):
a girl Scout cookies and next time you'll only eat
two or something like that, just sort of letting it go,
letting go what doesn't serve you. The tea, which as
triumphant is what can you do today? Can you go
for a fifteen minute walk? Can you get out your
yoga mat and just do a little stretch and then
you get to get gold star because you did something.
Maybe it's getting to bed a little bit earlier, because
(31:14):
we know that sleep and quarters, all levels and all
those things are all connected. I know that some of
my weight gain has been that I haven't been sleeping
as much as I could. So could it be going
to bed fifteen minutes early? Could it be drinking a
little bit more water? And you get to mark that
off and then s the s love. But for the
self love, all of it is an act of self love.
(31:34):
Anytime you take on your health and your well being, Uh,
it's an act of self love. You gave me a
task and you nailed it. That was great because it
has been just a abundant basket of gifts. Talking to
you today, we so love to thank you so much
(31:54):
for being here. I love the name of this show,
by the way, I love the two of you two
together have such great energy, And I just love that
what you're saying to people is that you can make changes,
make positive changes, You can turn things around anytime you decide.
Thank you for this message at this time, in this moment,
(32:15):
and thank you for asking me to participate a man.
Thank you, Kim, And if people want to reach out
to you. Where can they find you at Kim Cole's
on Instagram and Twitter, Real Kim Cole's on Facebook and
Kim Calls dot tv is my website, amazing and my
thanks to you as well, and also to our fantastic
(32:36):
producer Alicia Heywood UM and to all of you listeners.
Please rate and review us if you haven't already, super
important and connect with us here at You Turns Podcasts
YA grate, review and subscribe and substanc
Let's face it, if you're a business owner or an
entrepreneur or speaker or coach or whatever it is you do,
you want people connecting to you because that's how you
will share your products and services. That's how you'll share
your why. I have the biggest why now ever, that
is even bigger than me wanting to be an actress. Hello,
(00:32):
and welcome to you Turns the podcast where we talk
about all things change and transformation. And I am Lisas
and I'm Shell Herzig. And today we say we're catching
up with an old friend of yours. Yes, a very
very dear, not so old. She's a young at least
young at heart friend of mine. Um. Actually, Kim and
(00:52):
I go pretty far back. I have this thing I
like fall in love with people I work with. I mean,
it happened with Alicia, happen with you, happened with Kim Sally.
Kim's on the West Coast. Um, because she is an
entertainer extraordinaire. She is an actress and a comedian and
a host and a speaker. I am talking about the
magnificent Kim Cole's. Kim, thank you so much for being
(01:15):
with us today. Thank you, Jill and Lisa, and yes,
I am your old friend and that you know. Listen,
I'm fifty seven years old. I tell the truth, but
old as in we did. We worked together and I
fell in love with you two, and we had a
show that was going to be a hit, but nobody
else saw it. So it's so sad that that didn't
(01:35):
go anywhere because that would have been still have the
picture on my phone, I still do. Yeah, it makes
me happy. It was fun. So at that point in
our careers, Kim and I were both going to be
uh talk show hosts, and we've kind of gotte in
different directions. For people who maybe too young to have
watched your acting career, can you just give us a
(01:58):
little brief rundown of where you were and where you've come.
And yeah, I started out as a stand up comedian
and I actually stepped on stage for the first time
in so I'm really dating myself. But shortly thereafter I
booked two massively major iconic shows and they are in
(02:18):
Living Color and then Living Single in that order. And uh.
So I spent a great deal of the nineties on
television and happily doing my thing, and I still happily
do my thing. But I began transitioning and this is
perfect for this show. I began thinking of what else
can I do while I'm waiting for a gig? You know,
(02:41):
even today as we're talking, I leave here and I
have an audition, but I'm not and I hope that
I get it. It It would be nice to get it,
but I have other multiple streams of income coming in
based on the gifts that I have and that I
put out in the world. And so that feels, you know, strong,
and I feel powerful and I feel like I'm not
sitting around waiting and so I use my I call
(03:03):
it the gifts of love and laughter and reminding others
that they have gifts inside of them that need to
be opened. And I like to call it Broadcast your Brilliance.
So that's the speaking, the books, the touring, the programs
where I teach people how to tell their story so
people will know me as Sinclair on Living Single. That's
the show with Queen Latif. I would like to call
(03:24):
it The Black Friends give people references, so with the
Black Friends and the young Black Golden Girls, and I
would be Rose or Phoebe in reverse Opportunity Opportunities um
and had a great time, and those residual checks still
come in. But I've made several you turns in my life,
and I know we'll talk about those. Two. Let's talk
(03:45):
about gifts, and by that I mean the acronym that
is you know you You've put a whole fabulous book
out into the world called Open Your Gifts, which is
an anthology, and you wrote the sort of kickoff essay. So,
so tell us what gift? What's an acronym standing for?
I will tell you, And it's actually done so well
that I'm on anthology number two that came out a
(04:07):
few months ago. So gifts is an acronym for gratitude, intention,
for giveness, triumphs, and self love. Can I give you
your little points on for us? Yeah. So, when I
was going through a really difficult time after um my
nineties my my heyday of the nineties ended, uh, and
(04:29):
really searching for what the next thing would be, Like,
wait a minute, if I'm not on the show, what
are my gifts? I think I'm supposed to make the
world laugh. I think I'm supposed to be here to
add humor to to life. And if I'm not getting
a chance to do that on TV, how can I
do this? And through a lot of exspiration and a
lot of therapy and frankly, the Screen Actors Guild gives
you forty sessions of therapy at a twenty dollar copay.
(04:55):
I was like, Oh, it pays to be crazy. I'm
gonna make this work. So I got myself into therapy
and got myself undepressed and really clear about what my
gifts are. And the first gift was reminding, being reminded
that being grateful every single day is the key to
so much more happiness, so much more abundance. I know
(05:16):
I'm preaching to the choir here. It's just being grateful
for what already is instead of paying attention to what
you don't have, and it just changes the perspective. And
when you have a new perspective on things, you can
then do anything, I really think. So that was the
first piece. And because I was searching for what my
gifts were, I was like, I don't know if I
have any gifts. I was like, yes, I do. I'll
make it an acronym. The eye stands for intention or
(05:39):
inspired action. So it's about getting uh in inspired action
on your dreams, your hopes, your wishes, your goals uh
and staying intentional uh in in every step that you make,
or as many steps as possible. The F is for forgiveness,
which is all about letting go things that don't serve
you anymore. Forgiving the ex husband because he was crazy
(06:00):
and I was crazy when I married him, you know
that thing, um, And letting go that which doesn't serve
you anymore. Why are we holding onto that old story? Uh?
It's forgiving that, and it creates space for so much
more to come in The T is for triumphs. I
love this one because it's about standing in your triumphant self,
(06:20):
standing where you are magnificent. What you're not good at
is none of your business. If you stand where you rock,
if you stand in where you are awesome, then all
that other stuff falls away. I don't have to be
good at math or cooking or driving. I could be
really good. Those are my Those are my I'm not
triumphant in any of those things. But I am triumphant
(06:43):
in walking to a room and making people smile. I
am triumphant in creativity. I am triumphant, and in my
capacity to love. I am triumphant in my sparkly nail Polish.
I mean, whatever it is stand in that truth and
the s is for self love, which I really believe
that the exploration of all of this kind of work
(07:04):
that we do, you know, listening to a podcast like
this is actually an act of self love. It's pouring
into yourself and and filling your cup when so many
things in the world would empty your cup out, and
you would empty your cup out too by giving, giving, giving,
or trying to be something that you aren't. It's filling
your cup and and serving from your overflow. How did
(07:26):
you come to this philosophy? Was it one thing first? Did?
Or did did the full package descend from heaven and
into your break? It's just a wonderful kind of fire
hose of wisdom. It's it's thank you. You know well,
I'll tell you it came from. I really went into
(07:48):
a really dark depression after my after living single was canceled.
And the way I expressed my depression is I shop,
and I mean I have no discretion. It could be
Neiman Marcus, Sex with the Avenue, Macy's, or store, and
I can tell you I shopped through all of my
money and I shopped down to what I like to
(08:08):
call the three most important payments. You need. You need
a place to live, so your mortgage payment. You need
a car, especially in Los Angeles, or a way to
get around, and you need to get your hair done.
So I got to my last three payments, my mortgage,
my car note, and my hair weave, and I was like, okay,
now things are serious, and so let me let me
(08:32):
stop you there for a second. So has that had
that always been sort of your achilles heel, the place
where you went when when things got tough. Well, the
place that I was going was self worth. You know.
The shopping was I think a symptom of or an
outpouring of me not believing that I deserved what I had.
(08:53):
You know, these shows, this career had begun to make me.
I was a millionaire in the nineties and I'm just
a girl from Brooklyn, you know. And there's self worth
issues in that my parents are educated and I dropped
out of college four times. I mean, my grandmother went
back to get her masters in the fifties, in her fifties,
(09:15):
you know, and here it is this generation that didn't
finish college. Me Um, I didn't feel worthy, and so
I think that is why I shopped it away or
why I didn't feel like, who am I to have
a beautiful house and you know, drive a fancy schmancy car.
I'm just this girl from Brooklyn. I don't know you
know what I mean? I didn't. I didn't, I hadn't.
(09:35):
Um I should say I was a happy person and
I come from a default position of joy. That's easy
for me. But descending into this madness of what do
you mean I'm not going to be able to do
what I really want to do, especially since things happened
for me so quickly. You know, there's so many stories
of people, especially in show business, having uh you know,
(09:56):
struggled for years and years and years and then their
big break. Um, I'm telling you, within five years, I
was on national TV and rolling and so this downfall
so I thought, which was it was listen, it was
a breakdown that needed to happen so that I could
have a breakthrough. I had a crisis of faith. I
got mad at God, and God was like, Okay, I'll
(10:16):
be over here when you're ready to turn back to
the light, come on back. You know. I thought about suicide,
and not because I wasn't on a TV show. I
had lost all my mojo. Wait wait, and we need
to talk about You can't just gloss over this stuff.
When we come back, We're gonna go deep, all right
with Kim Cole. Before we were talking with Kim Cole's
(10:48):
and she mentioned a couple of things like crisis of faith,
contemplating suicide. I'm just gonna say, w t F Kim,
what was going on? What happened? How did you get
out of that hole? I mean, this is a this
is a lot of stuff to unpack here. It is
stuff you didn't tell me about when we're working together.
(11:09):
Then I just and I gotta say, I mean, really,
just huge thanks to you for being open about this.
Now I think it's it's so helpful to everyone who's listening.
Thank you. So well. Let me say this, it was
actually becoming. I call it my transparent truth. So now
I'm you know, well known, I'm broke and broken. I'm
(11:33):
going to red carpet events. I remember one time I
was at a u an opening of a Will Smith movie.
And a Will Smith movie is you know you've seen
all the Hollywood, you know, glitz and glam and the
red carpet, like you have not experienced anything like the
will Smith opening. You know, it's international press, and the
(11:53):
red carpet goes on for blocks. And I had twenty
seven dollars to my name this night, and yet I
to pretend that I was well and I was great
and I was glamorous. And it was after that night
that I had the full on breakdown, like I cannot
pretend anymore. I can't hide. I don't want people to
find out that I'm broken, broken, because we know, you know,
the gossip columnists and the you know, the shows and
(12:16):
all the things. And I just that was the moment
I decided to get myself into therapy because I was
having these thoughts of I was getting ladies. I was
mad that I was waking up in the morning. I
was like, God, you woke me up this morning. Don't
you know how much pain I'm in? Can't we just
shut this down? And I had made plans. I had oh,
I had a fiery, very dramatic ending planned for myself.
(12:42):
And it was um thinking of my parents that made
me stop. My parents do not deserve a daughter who
would take herself out, especially since I have been given
so much. I've been given all of these gifts, so
it seems like a fire our hose now because when
I finally got the moment that I cannot take myself out.
(13:05):
My parents are awesome, they're smart, and they're charming. I'm
the perfect combination of the two of them. And I
thought about what they would think if when they heard
that that I had shut myself out of this beautiful
experience called life. And that was what woke me up.
That was what made me get into therapy, and thank goodness,
(13:26):
I manifested a therapist who was actually spirit based, and
she said, we're not going to even dig into all
your old stuff. We're just gonna get you grateful and
aligned right now. And so it really did become a
pretty fast download because I got in alignment with gratitude,
started asking, well, what are my gifts? If I'm never
(13:46):
on another TV show, what can I do? My gifts
are love and laughter. Just go do that. You're able
to speak and share, just go do that. And so
I launched a speaking career, which I didn't even know
it was a career. I just wanted to start telling
the good news of gratitude. I became an evangelist for
grant gratitude. If you really want to know the truth.
(14:06):
And I started you speaking at conferences. You were speaking
so students to anybody who would listen. Okay, so so
women's empowerment conferences and um um um you know events
and things. You know, I used my name to get
me in the door. Maybe even even they may be
even booked me as a comedian. But while I was
(14:26):
on stage, I would share the inspirations that I had learned.
And I learned this thing that you don't have to
all have it all together, like we all think that
we have to have it all buttoned up and have
it all together. And this is where I learned the
phrase lift as you climb. There were times that I
was going on stage and sharing my story and I
(14:47):
was five minutes ahead of the people I was talking to.
I had five minutes ago learned a tool or a
technique for getting an alignment or feeling safe within my
body or whatever that thing was. And I was just
share ring and people were thanking form, thanking me for
being honest, or thanking me for giving them permission to
be okay with not being able to afford the red
(15:08):
bottom shoes anymore. Let me say this to you too.
This all happened before two eight when everybody else fell down.
So in two thousand eight came and everybody fell down financially,
I was like, oh, thank god, I'm not the only one. Right.
That seems so macab and terrible. But we think that
we're the only ones going through these problems, and when
you start sharing your story, you find out, oh, there's
(15:32):
more than one of us here. So I'm telling a
Hollywood story. But the truth is there's someone who's listening
to the sound of my voice who has also had
a crisis of faith and maybe contemplated suicide and contemplated
what am I really here to do and figured it
out or is in the process of figuring it out.
(15:52):
It just takes exploration, and it just takes asking yourself.
You want to know what helped too. I'm gonna tell
you the quote that helped me. It was zig Ziggler's quote, um,
and I always paraphrase it. I don't know if I
get it right, but you can have everything you want
if you help enough people get what they want. So
(16:12):
let me see if I get this right, if I
stop feeling sorry for myself and being worried about how
I'm going to get back on TV and how am
I going to make money? And how am I going
to pay my bills? And how am I going to
buy some more hair? If I start thinking about sharing
what I've learned and help others, I may be able
to make some money. I may be able to buy
the hair. I may be able to dot dot dot
(16:34):
feel in the blank. And that's exactly what happened. You know,
there's no h in your acronym, But I think humor
is also a big part of it. I mean, you
obviously are incredibly funny and beloved for your sense of humor,
but I think that's true for everyone. I think in
some ways it sort of belongs woven in there with
(16:54):
with you know, the other things you've mentioned, because being
able to be honest often means being able to just
laugh at it a little bit, laugh at the ridiculous
of humor and heart. Humor and heart. And you know,
I can only laugh at the bill collector who called
my house and knew exactly who I was and said
(17:15):
that she loved the show that I was on and
I wasn't even her favorite character. And I have to
love the day that she was like, well, what happened?
How come you don't have no money, and we start
talking and I start to cry, and she says to me,
stop crying. I'm gonna help you. And then she taught
me what to do. She said, stopped not answering the
phone calls first of all, answered the calls and asked
(17:36):
the creditor if you can just make a ten percent
deposit or if you can get on a payment plan.
And she put me on a payment plan that reduced
my rate, my interest rate to zero, which is one
of the reasons why I was extra broke because now
the interest rate goes up. She reduced my interest rate
to zero for a year and I was able to
pay that bill off. And then she says to me,
(17:58):
can I tell you a secret. This is my part
time job. I'm doing this to pay off my bills.
I understand exactly what you're going through. And I was like,
I was trying to avoid speaking to them because I
was afraid they wouldn't know who Kim called. My name
really is Kim Cole's. And so the very thing that
you're running from, it is often the thing that you
need to face. And when I face that with humor
(18:20):
and heart, that's part of my act now I do
a whole routine. I know her name, her name is Jackie,
and I feel like one day I'm going to meet her,
you know. And it is it's laughing at it, laughing
while you learn, it's looking at it and going fresh perspective.
How can I look at it from fresh new eyes
and come up with a solution that's not based in
pain and misery and lack and instead with love. And
(18:44):
it's also, at least in your case, if she never
would have been able to connect with you, if you
hadn't had these bills. So it's sort of where we're
broken that we can connect to each other because otherwise
we have all these perfect walls all up and nobody
can get in there up. And I found that and
and and it's beautiful. And now I talk about so
(19:06):
now I teach the power of storytelling, right, And I
talked to my clients and teach my clients and teach
anybody who I speak to to use your transparent truth.
And I mean, there is the question of how do
I tell my story without telling all my business? And
there's a way to do it with um, you know,
with with ease and grace and style. And you know,
you don't take people all the way to the pit
with you. You hopefully you've done some work in your
(19:27):
healing or at least on the healing path, but you're right,
there really is only one of us here, and you'd
be surprised who will connect to you and connect to
your story. And let's face it, if you're a business
owner or an entrepreneur, or a speaker or coach or
whatever it is you do, you want people connecting to
you because that's how you will share your products and services.
(19:48):
That's how you'll share your why. I have the biggest
why now ever, that is even bigger than me wanting
to be an actress. It's me wanting to remind people
that they have permission to go on this journey. They
have permission to I don't know. I want to say,
I want to believe. I have a coach who used
to say, Kim, there are no more monsters under the bed.
(20:11):
Like you know, you think that it's going to be
worse than it really is. If you just face it
and face it head on, and face it with love
and light and curiosity, and solutions will come your way.
This whole g I F T. S. Thing couldn't have
come if I hadn't gone through what I had gone
through and the exploration of Okay, now, how can I
help people? Well, if I make it a program, maybe
(20:32):
this will be a thing. And then lo and behold,
I'm able to have all my payments taken care of.
When we come back, We're going to learn even more
from the brilliant kimicles. We've been chatting with Kim Coals
(20:55):
about r G I F T S. You should write
a song about that. I do say too. I do not.
That is not one of my triumphant gives. Um. I
just want to quickly share a story about you. Uh,
you're gonna actually I'm just gonna introduce it, and you're
gonna tell us the story that you told me, because
I remember the first time I met you and you
(21:16):
reached out to shake my hand and you had this
very intriguing tattoo on your wrist and I asked you
about it. Do you remember that it was like our
first conversation ever, and you were so direct and so
honest and so there it is Goddess, It says, goddess love.
(21:36):
So can you tell us the story of that tattoo?
I wonder if I told you the whole story. Did
it involve red velvet cupcakes. I don't know if anything
that involved red velvet. So long story short, I was
dating a guy who was Oh he just smelled so good.
(21:57):
Oh my goodness, I just the minute I met him,
like gul his his his particular old or just I
don't know. There's this whole thing in the cologne that
he wore. He was handsome, and he was charming, and
he was a narcissist. Um and I just instantly fell
for him, and I instantly knew he was not right
for me. He said enough things to make me go run,
run run, but there was something about him, and I
remember dating him. We dated for a little while, and um,
(22:20):
I don't know if I told this story, but here
it is. We were we were we were watching a
movie late at night, and he had a white sofa
and a white rug. Right, We're eating these red velvet cupcakes,
watching a movie in the dark, and when we turned
the lights back on, there were crumbs on my side,
but no crumbs on his side. Now, I hope I
(22:40):
don't offend anyone, But he's a virgo, and Virgos are
very neat and very particular, so that's why there were
no crumbs. But he proceeded to just go in on
me about the crumbs and how could I let them fall?
And why would you let them fall on the rug?
And then I allowed this conversation to go on for
(23:00):
like an hour, allowed him to be raped me. First
of all, why do you have a white sofa and
a white rug? Anyway? Come on, hey, you know it's
called gravity. I can't help that the crumbs fell. It's
called dark. It was dark. I couldn't maybe I couldn't
see what was happening. Supposed to do unhinge your jaw
and put the whole damn cupcake in at once, and
it was that tasty. I could have done that, but
(23:23):
I just realized I was allowing this man to just
take me down. He was like he was indeed a narcissist,
and I didn't feel that I deserved better, and so
I allowed this to happen. And then finally one day
I got the gumption to break up and I cursed
him out. I just laid in. I just let him
have it. And he later told a friend, a mutual
friend of ours, that was the day that I discovered
(23:45):
that I had respect for her the day she cursed
me out. It's the day that I discovered respect. And
so I went the next morning after I cursed him
out and finally got him out of my life and
got the word goddess emblazoned into my body. And I'm
gonna tell you it hurt like it was being etched
into my soul because I needed to. And and Lisa
will tell you it's it's the way it's designed. It's
(24:06):
it actually faces me like if you look at it,
it looks upside down. It is so that I can
raise my arm and look at myself and be reminded
to only ever receive being treated like a goddess. Um.
And you know what's funny is that years later, you know,
I'm married now, and Lisa, you know, we talked about
marriage way back when, and you just really wanted me
(24:27):
to find someone yummy and wonderful. And I'll never forget
there was a birthday. We're only married four years, I
would say two years ago. He bought me a red
velvet cupcake for you know, for my birthday. He put
the candles on and blew them out, and I'll go, oh,
my goodness, what a difference. A few years makes and
we sat at the table, we ate the red velvet.
We laughed and we talked, and I was like, what
a full circle moment that now I have my king
(24:48):
in my life and I'm eating red velvet and he
doesn't care where the crumbs fall, you know, and where
in my life am I willing to take the crumbs
of life? And so that's the story of the tattoo.
I don't know if that's the story I told to
that day, because there's a lot that goes into but
I remember that that I needed to have it blazoned
into my soul. That is that away from people that
(25:09):
you need to get a tattooed to remind you of
what what a divine creature you are? What what else
did you do to sort of open yourself up to
love and finding the person you deserved? Constant exploration, curiosity,
(25:29):
self love, constant. I'm constantly open to learning more about
how I can love myself better. And I'm tender doesn't
make this list. No, tender is not will never make
the list. You know what's funny is I've broken up
with a guy and I met my Reggie like three
(25:50):
weeks later, I boo hooed a little bit, and then
I realized he and I never would have made it anyway.
Three weeks later, I met this man in South Carolina
at a natural hair event. He Lisa would of him.
He at the time he was a vegetarian. He's now
eating fish. He's a pscletarian, vegetarian, um metaphysicist, was a
pastor for twelve years or nine years, and he's also
(26:10):
you know, also studies, you know, all the When I
met hi, it's a long story short. He was a
police officer when I met him. And he was there too,
you know, be my escort right for the event. And
at the end of me speaking, I said to him,
I'm gonna go to each one of the vendors and
just drop. You know, it's a small town. I want
(26:31):
to make sure I, you know, give something back to
each of the vendors, So just make sure that I
move along to each tables thirty bucks. So we get
to the first table and there's these really yummy body
butters and I'm smelling them and rubbing them on my
hands and I was like, oh, this stuff is really yummy.
And he says to the girl at the table, give
her one of everything, and I'm like, oh my god,
Officer Reggie's gonna try to shake down the vendors, which
(26:54):
which I was like a little piece of me was
happy because I was like, okay, I'll save some money.
Was like, no, no, no, Officer Reggie, no no, no,
I don't want shakedown. I really want to buy one
of everything. He says, No, you don't understand. This is
my table. I make these butters. What you make the
body butters? Yes? And I infused them with quantum physics.
What who are you? Yeah? I infuse each one of
(27:15):
my body butters with good intentions and affirmation so that
when you use the body butter your your skin, it
feels smooth and moisturize. Something very sexy about the story man.
And I remember texting him the next day saying, your
body butters were divine, and and we started talking and
we've been together ever since. And I can't get him
(27:37):
to make the body butters anymore. But that's not the story. Now.
He's married right now and they got no time for
the body butters. But he got you with the body
butter anymore. So I attracted the most highest level version
of of of the man that I should be with
because I raised my own vibration. And again, I don't
(27:57):
pretend to be perfect. There's areas of my life, you know,
like health and fitness that I really want to get
that together. But all the mind stuff I study, I
stay present. I ask myself, how can I do this better?
What could I do better? How can I What is
this lesson here to serve me? Has been one of
the most valuable lessons I could ever learn, one of
(28:18):
the most valuable questions. What is this here to teach me?
Changes everything? Perspective. You mentioned health and fitness, and I
think that probably a large percentage of our listeners and
maybe one of our co hosts. I won't mention which one,
not the really skinny one sitting over there, but certainly
(28:39):
it's something I struggle with. How can we you and
I not Jill, she doesn't need um apply the philosophy
and by the way, the pre diabetic one over here,
but fine, but how do we apply? And you know
that body type does not does not dictate how healthy someone.
There's a lot of people who I have learned Lender
who may have Yeah, so health is health gifts philosophy
(29:05):
to shift our sense of self Okay, around our bodies. Okay,
you've just given me a task because this is gonna
be the thing that breaks through for me. So here
we go. Number one, being grateful for the body you
already have. I actually don't hate my body. I sleep
in the nude every day, so the first thing I
see is me but naked. You know what, I don't
(29:27):
hate her. I don't hate her. She could, she could
lose her stummy rolls, you know. But you know what,
I don't hate my body. I love that my body
takes me places and houses my soul. So Number one,
being grateful for the body you already have. Number two intentional.
Let's be intentional and and inspired in our eating. So
how can I eat one less bag of potato chips
(29:48):
a week? Okay, I still like my potato chips. Let
me eat a few less, a few less. And let
me be intentional about the goal that I'm setting for myself.
So if in six months, I'd like to shed x
number of paths ouns or or walk a little bit more,
walk three times a week, sort of setting small goals.
You're making me make this up. I love them. Being
(30:08):
intentional about if I say I want to be healthy,
and I want to love myself more than what can
I do. F is forgiveness, which forgive, which is forgiving
myself for the French FRIESE the French fry you and
I love right now, don't I know? We've had many
a French frie meal, and so forgiving yourself for that
and saying, you know what, so what I enjoyed them,
(30:30):
or while you're eating them too, so abouts. I think
sometimes it's about the energy that we put into the stuff,
like this is my cheat day, or this is what
I shouldn't be eating. I think the body and the
spirit knows that I know plenty of folks who eat
their French fries and enjoy them and have no guilt
around it, and their thighs don't rub. And so maybe
it's forgiving yourself for um, eating the whole sleeve of
(30:52):
a girl Scout cookies and next time you'll only eat
two or something like that, just sort of letting it go,
letting go what doesn't serve you. The tea, which as
triumphant is what can you do today? Can you go
for a fifteen minute walk? Can you get out your
yoga mat and just do a little stretch and then
you get to get gold star because you did something.
Maybe it's getting to bed a little bit earlier, because
(31:14):
we know that sleep and quarters, all levels and all
those things are all connected. I know that some of
my weight gain has been that I haven't been sleeping
as much as I could. So could it be going
to bed fifteen minutes early? Could it be drinking a
little bit more water? And you get to mark that
off and then s the s love. But for the
self love, all of it is an act of self love.
(31:34):
Anytime you take on your health and your well being, Uh,
it's an act of self love. You gave me a
task and you nailed it. That was great because it
has been just a abundant basket of gifts. Talking to
you today, we so love to thank you so much
(31:54):
for being here. I love the name of this show,
by the way, I love the two of you two
together have such great energy, And I just love that
what you're saying to people is that you can make changes,
make positive changes, You can turn things around anytime you decide.
Thank you for this message at this time, in this moment,
(32:15):
and thank you for asking me to participate a man.
Thank you, Kim, And if people want to reach out
to you. Where can they find you at Kim Cole's
on Instagram and Twitter, Real Kim Cole's on Facebook and
Kim Calls dot tv is my website, amazing and my
thanks to you as well, and also to our fantastic
(32:36):
producer Alicia Heywood UM and to all of you listeners.
Please rate and review us if you haven't already, super
important and connect with us here at You Turns Podcasts
YA grate, review and subscribe and substanc
Road to Somewhere News
Hosts And Creators
Lisa Oz
Jill Herzig
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