May 25, 2023 • 35 mins
We pick back up with our Sex and the City watch podcast with a discussion on f*ck buddy relationships - how they work and why they fall apart, along with 'double-booking', the 'nice guy', and awkward first dates.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Steff.
I never told you a production Yheart Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Yes, and welcome to another edition of Watching Sex and
the City. Getting Annie's reaction and enjoying our time together
in this happy hour. Yay, that's more a descriptive than
a title. That's how I do. If you are joining
us for the happy hour, please do so responsibly whatever
you are doing, whether it's driving, whether it's taking care
(00:40):
of your kids, whether it's just sitting.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
To being on something respony.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I feel like I actually should do that more because
I during the pandemic, I have not been sitting responsibly.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
You know, I've watched myself It's like I'm hunched over.
I'm like, this is not uncomfortable. But all of those things,
and if we're talking about any products, as of this point,
we are probably not sponsored by that product, but who knows.
Things can change. Hopefully things will change. We'll get more
good sponsors with good products, am I right? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Anyway, so today.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
We are doing our watch party, but we are actually
separate this time around peak behind the curtains. We are
sitting in our own respective private offices, I guess, private
studios and I gotta do webcam and then it's is
very detailed. I cannot stop looking at myself right Irving.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
We actually both got this is kind of funny to
me that you're just now using it because we got
it in the same time, and I it was a
real learning curve for me because it went from like, oh,
I don't really like what I'm seeing, but it's all right,
to whoa, look at the same.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Why why is all of this happening? And I'm not
a floating head anymore. You could actually see what's behind me.
Speaker 5 (02:06):
This is on.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Yes, anyway, I'm very distracted as we're trying to record this,
so excuse me in advance.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
That's so too much email.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Okay, all right, eighty we're coming back. We are on
episode fourteen of season two, slowly walking our.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
Way through all the Sex and the Cities.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
We may have retired before the end of this episode.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
It's taking us on and me like living together and
I'll be like, finally episode ninety.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Four, it's gonna be the commune that we've been dreaming of. Well,
just retire, but we're still watching Sex.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
And the City and having like commentary though no one
is listening.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Podcasts no longer exists. We're still going for it though.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
I'm you know this about me excited to know.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
That even if I were to be dead tomorrow, you'll
still keep going.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Oh, absolutely, thank you.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
He's a traditional lie, Annie, I will.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Speaking of traditions, we need a replay or tell us
a review of what has been happening in the world
of sex and the City.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Okay, I feel like the big thing that has happened
is that.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Carrie had.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
A quote like revelation that she's dating men who are
not good for her. In this case, mister Big who
was like moved to Paris and wasn't willing to commit,
and she really wanted to commit, and she went to
a therapist for like a half second and met bon Jovi.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
I guess yes, John bon Jovi specifically, Oh excuse me,
Christina cut it.
Speaker 6 (03:53):
But I didn't know who that was. I was like, well,
I know forever You're like, who's that. I'm like, oh my,
I recognize the day. I just I didn't recognize him.
But anyway, so we got that going on.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
We had an episode we discussed recently in a Mondane
and any that you experience embarrassment very vividly we had
that scene with Miranda where she was sort of flirting
with the guy she thought was flirting with her crossed
the way at the apartments and that was not the case.
We have Samantha continuing to like she was at a
BDSM club, just sort of getting into all of these
(04:35):
situations with people, and then Charlotte trying to find the
one and continually dating people that I'm like, wow, that
was way off, but you know, I get it.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
I've been there. So that's about it.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Theres are getting better and better. I feel like I
like them.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Okay, So we have our next episode and the title
is The Buddy. Yeah, oh yeah, okay, or the Sex
Buddy for trying to edit out if we're trying to
be PG thirteen the sex Buddy rather than buddy, but
the title is the Buddy. Can you give me a
guess as to what this episode is about.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I feel like I had my revelation of my own
in the last one, which is at the time I
was going for like deep metaphor and then it's way
more spot on, and then you give me a title
like this, So I'm gonna say it.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Is a situation with a buddy.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
In this case, being someone you.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Have sex with occasionally, which I feel like happened in
one of the earlier episodes already.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
But yeah, someone you have sex with that are not dating,
and then maybe somebody you like talk to about sacks.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
But if what's the most straightforward, buddy?
Speaker 4 (06:05):
So I'm assuming you've never had one I had.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
I've been asked to be one. I have never been one.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
Like they officially asked for that. That is interesting.
Speaker 5 (06:20):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Really, I will say the one that I had was
just the dude that I would meet up with in
between relationships if everything, like if I had a relationship
or a thing fell apart and I just needed someone
to lay on me, just to lay on me. He
was the dude and we would I would go over late.
He was never allowed in my place. I would go
over to his place late at night and leave early morning.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
End the story. And we never dated. There was some
crossing of the lines.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
And we'll talk a little bit more, but like it
rarely got there, and it never really got there.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
And then he got engaged and things were over and I.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Was like, yeah, okaybye's I've had one.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
But he was around for like five six years.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Oh wow. But then once he got on relationship.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Yes, we were always appropriate. We never got together when
each other we were into a thing. It was literally
in between for both of us. I was you know,
my friends really hated him, all right. We never listened
to this episode because we have mutual friends. Oh no,
of all episodes, if he listened to this, like, y'all,
(07:37):
what is happening?
Speaker 4 (07:38):
Okay, let's get into this because I'm embarrassing myself. Really. Well, here,
I ran.
Speaker 7 (07:57):
Into my friend's skipper on the street the other day.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Do you remember, Skip?
Speaker 5 (07:59):
He was most in frantic he'd just broken up with
another girl.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Well, we haven't seen him in a minute.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
He's an a but he's back, he's been for a second.
Speaker 5 (08:07):
What did she say? She thought was wrong?
Speaker 4 (08:10):
Skipper?
Speaker 5 (08:10):
You're a very sweet guy, and this isn't about anything
you did.
Speaker 7 (08:15):
It's just that we are in very different places right now.
We want different things from life.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Classic.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
Have you ever had to do a breakup like this?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Actually no, I'm kind of a coward, to be honest.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
I don't think I have either.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I always wait for them to break up with me.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
I had the one breakup in high school where I
went on one date with him and didn't really think
I had to do a breakup, but I had to,
in which I said you deserve more than me.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
I had to say that, and.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
He was like, no, I don't want anyone else but you.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
High school, y'all high school? Oh wow oh.
Speaker 5 (08:53):
Later that night, on a data Crosstown, Miranda was repeating
a pattern of her own. She had been dating a
lawyer she met when they got into a big fight
in court. A frequent guest on MSNBC, Kevin was not
just argumentative, he was an anger professional.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
You know.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
I think I got to revise my opinion that you
got to be an idiot to want to go out
to a movie these days. I mean, it was worse
than nineteen bucks plus ten dollars in snacks and.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
Water just to hear that bus driver behind.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
To be fair, he's not wrong about that movie experience.
Not that I'm the angry person, but I'm just saying, sure, you've.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
Got a very obvious pattern.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
You know, I do would tell me you wait for
a perfect guy to ask you on a perfect day.
Speaker 5 (09:50):
And when he does, you project this huge fantasy on him.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Which, by the way, I feel like that's what Carrie
did too. It's a big. She put expectations onto him
and it that's true.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
I mean, it's definitely like Charlotte's whole thing is kind
of the Disney fairy tale.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Prince Carrie did it too.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Yeah, none of us can afford to fall into this
one man at a time past. Sam is all about
not one minute a time, and I can't say she
being in my forties in a relationship. Finally, I feel
like I missed a lot of opportunities, partially because I
am too loyal and dependable to be like floating about.
But the dating around may have been the better way
(10:32):
to go, at least to know what I like. I
love where I am, but as a younger person, where
I'm missing so many opportunities.
Speaker 7 (10:39):
The same person over and over again.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
Well, I guess I have dated quite a few artists,
but I don't think they were all the same person.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Okay, do you have a type any Yes? Is it
all Luke Skywalker kind talk about projecting and impossible standards?
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Yeah, it's kind of comical, how much of it.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
It's embarrassing you never met this one, y'all. If this
cross is over, you're gonna get people who challenge you
because you've already had that challenge to begin with, so
now it's going to be even more so I have.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
That's an interesting flip side, though, of Flank projecting too
much onto someone and then them.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Being like, no, it's not too much. I am the
one that.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Can encompass this and you can't because and it's not
not realistic.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Inevitably, they will disappoint and then be angry that they've disappointed, Yes.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Because they feel like they've done everything to do it,
and I'm just like, it's not I never asked you to,
for one, but also it's just not possible.
Speaker 7 (11:55):
Why had I been keeping him on the bench all
these years?
Speaker 5 (11:58):
Did I really believe a relationship had to be difficult
in order to work?
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (12:02):
Is she going to try to step up?
Speaker 5 (12:05):
Do you enough?
Speaker 7 (12:05):
Dinner? Friday night dinner?
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
So, as I said, the little buddy and I my
little buddy, we would have different times. I think that
we tried to make it more and it just inevitably
went wrong, and but our timing was way off and
so it never happened, and it was a good thing. Again,
as I said, my friends did not like him, did
(12:30):
not like him.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Okay, because of the funny part or just in general.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
No, because they didn't actually know he was buddy. Only
a couple of people knew.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
They just knew him, and because we kind of like
he was far enough away from my social circle, but
we would still interact so we would still know going on,
and the people closest to me knew of him and
hung out with him every now and again when we
were all together. Was not a fan of him. I
thought he was really obnoxious. I really hope he doesn't
(13:03):
hear this episode. It's gonna be really sad.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
My situation was a It was a friend who I
had wanted to date and he knew I had wanted
to date, and he came back with what if we
were buddies? And I was like, yo, that kind of
I mean, I get like, I think you can have
a healthy situation, but for me, that felt very like
I don't want to date you.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Yeah that's a backhanded if it's really like I like you,
but he's putting you on the sidelines.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
Mmmmm, keeping you on the in the back.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
When he knew what I wanted knew that's cold.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 7 (13:44):
I like most first dates. We were off to an
awkward start.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Already awkward, oh my somewhat racist music to signify sushi.
Speaker 5 (13:59):
The yellowtail sashimi, two pieces of I'm gonna sushi.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
I know, I'm already pretty starting.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
I'm telling you, this show really puts the cravings in
my life between Chinese food, sushi yet and brun Yes, Annie,
you want a really fancy sushi experience.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
I did.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
I did, And funnily enough, I told my mom about it,
and it's just so outside of her experience. She was
like shocked because it was very expensive. Everyone very very expensive,
and she saw it in a magazine and she like
texted me about it, was like, is this is what
you did.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
Isn't it?
Speaker 2 (14:37):
I was like yes, Like yeah, it is like Atlanta's
top everything. I know, it's on cuisine magazines, It's and
like Forbes because it's so prestigious and snobby likely really honest.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Yeah, I mean it's like it was delicious.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
I don't regret it, but it is like I just
had seen the menu and I was like, this is
kind of the thing.
Speaker 5 (15:03):
So if I'm lucky, I might get a whole hour
next time.
Speaker 7 (15:06):
I don't think so.
Speaker 5 (15:07):
But if you're currently an MCI customer and you switch,
then you get two hours for free.
Speaker 7 (15:12):
I was kidding.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
Oh hey, gotcha.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Coming back to them trying to be in a relationship.
He has no sense of humor and really loves his job,
which is to give away collect calls calling call.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
Oh wow, he just made a sock of too me
drink duke. Get out of there, Get out of there now.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
He also doesn't like sushi.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
He says, it doesn't like any raw I don't trust that.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
That is one of my most shameful breakups I've ever
had was over food, where it's like you won't eat that,
we're done.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
I mean, I mean.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Yeah, Like, I think I would have a hard time
right now as I'm like going through my cultural experiences
and trying to be a part of Korean culture. If
he was not into Korean food, he'd he'd be gone right, yeah,
you gotta go.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Meanwhile, Samantha was actually beginning to look forward to the
company of her new neighbors every night like clockwork, right
after the end of the eleven o'clock News.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Previously, Sam has been listening to the dudes to their
neighbors having sex.
Speaker 4 (16:24):
Awkward, but Sam's just gonna get into it.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Oh my gosh, Yes, getting down with the neighbors, very
loud neighbors. Have you ever been caught by a neighbor
you have right when you're like three hour playing.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Three hours? It was an hour thirty minutes. Thank you.
I'm sure somebody heard it. I'm sure somebody did.
Speaker 4 (16:50):
I was told by a neighbor that I got caught.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Oh really, I was, yes, because we were talking about
something and it was related. They weren't trying to shave me.
But I was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry.
But then I had to be like, yeah, I've also
heard you. That's the problem with tart about like yes,
but like have a good apartment.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
Inevitably, yes, you hear the things.
Speaker 5 (17:17):
Oh yeah, Kevin, this is Carrie.
Speaker 7 (17:26):
Thanksmantha and Charlotte.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
This is Kevin.
Speaker 7 (17:28):
That's nice to meet you. I have to have to
go make a quick phone call.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Be right back.
Speaker 7 (17:31):
Waitress, draft beer here.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
He's cute in a tightly wound sort of way.
Speaker 7 (17:38):
He's finding out on Tuesday whether he made a partner.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed the hill on wine.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Some also this nerving.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
I don't know if I would have my one like
my boyfriend with all of my friends, like just him
and like my girlfriends that seem kind.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Of feeling this is. I've had this a lot where
I'm very much like that. I'm like, I wouldn't do
this to you, but I think other people are like, no,
I'm going to introduce the guy.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Don't see it that way, and it kind of has
caused some tension.
Speaker 5 (18:11):
But yeah, I guess.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
I mean, I've introduced my boyfriend, but it's after a
long while and this group thing, and it's not like
me and just like girlfriends. It's like my guy friends,
all of us just hanging out, but not that.
Speaker 6 (18:23):
It seemed like he came in like all guns blazing,
like angry and loud.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Angry and loud. She's cleaning off his glass, like.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
My throat is so sore.
Speaker 4 (18:40):
I've just been fighting this cold all week. Oh I'm
so sorry.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Really, I'm so suspicious. I never do stuff like that.
I'm worried i'd actually get sick.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
I have canceled dates, but I'm not in the middle
of dates.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
I'm not good at getting out of dates.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
I've told you this when like I was with the
really awkward date and the dude was like, I'm gonna
order another bed I'm like, I'm done.
Speaker 4 (19:09):
I guess I'm gonna sit here and look at you.
Speaker 8 (19:11):
Yeah, Charlotte, Oh Eric, what are you?
Speaker 7 (19:21):
What are you doing here?
Speaker 3 (19:23):
I was just leaving you some chicken soup for your throat.
I see you've healed.
Speaker 7 (19:29):
Who is this guy? I'm the guy she had dinner
with before.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
You you double books.
Speaker 7 (19:35):
Hey, Hey, don't feel bad, Bud.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
At least you got the late shift.
Speaker 7 (19:38):
I mean you got to take her upstairs.
Speaker 8 (19:39):
I don't think so.
Speaker 7 (19:42):
Enjoy the soup.
Speaker 8 (19:44):
Hey, you going to.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
Town west side?
Speaker 8 (19:48):
I want to share a cap.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
Sure they're best friends now.
Speaker 5 (19:52):
From that moment on, Charlotte developed a new pattern. She
made it a rule never to take advice from her
friends again.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
But why would she doubles have to be careful book?
Why would you do it on the same day, That's
that's nonsense. No, And also, just be up front. I'm
dating around.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
We're not committed exclusive.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
I'm Sam's got an invite by the neighbors to join.
Speaker 5 (20:24):
The musician and the dancer turned out to be a
middle aged Eastern European couple.
Speaker 7 (20:29):
He played in a poka band. She was a dancer
once upon a time.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Sam Sanda's all lambed up.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Would you mind keeping it down? I'm trying to get some.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
Sleep, and now she's walking away.
Speaker 7 (20:44):
Samantha broke a pattern after all.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Okay, I really need to know do women wear this
type of lingerie with the clipped tight sky highs that
looks I've seen he was. This sounds real ridiculous because
I'm like, I've seen them for exists, but there's like
practicality of it. It's like, do people actually wear this
(21:06):
or is this the beginning of a costume for porn?
Speaker 4 (21:10):
Because I'm feeling.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yeah, yeah, I own in real life. Actually own't wear
that in real life.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
I mean, let us no listeners.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Like I said, I own some of it, but I've
never like worn it outside of like I want to
feel sexy one.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
Day, but not for anyone else.
Speaker 5 (21:27):
Right, isn't this the most amazing block? All these brownstones
are over one hundred years old? You know, it's like
being in the New York of.
Speaker 7 (21:43):
Edith Wharton and Henry James.
Speaker 5 (21:46):
Sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am to.
Speaker 7 (21:49):
Live right here. What the Tit's look really great in
that thing. At that moment, I knew we only had
two things in common. Listen, I did invite you in,
but oh no, that's okay. I gotta get up really
early tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
So well that's that. I guess.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
That's when you figured out you have nothing in common.
Speaker 5 (22:16):
M good. I I knew it was the last time
we'd ever see each other.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
Oh no, this is what happens when you try to
make it.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Yeah, and you get to actually know him, and then
you're like, I don't like that the.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
End of the buddy. Okay, so you got the.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Buddy part right, I mean, you didn't guess anything else.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
But okay, I'm learning. I am learning.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
I'll give you a bee. I'll give you a bee
for all of this. Yeah. Sure, sure, there's so many
things to this.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
But now that I've shared so much of my personal life,
way too much of my personal and by the way,
it's been years. Obviously, I've been in my relationship for
like five six years. Time doesn't exist. But yeah, it's
been a minute since this whole origin. But I think
it's kind of funny because we were having this conversation
knowing that this episode is coming. I was talking about
(23:32):
buddies and then about boys and the turn of phrase
that have happened as of recent and I'm sure people
can't complain. I'm just talking about the term. I'm not
saying good or bad about any of these things, and
it's just a thing. But I do think it's funny
in seeing like the pattern, the breakup pattern versus your
dating pattern versus your attraction pattern, and what that all
(23:56):
looks like, and they kind of cover it pretty well.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
Yeah, okol way obviously.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Yeah, I mean I think that's it is true. I mean,
it's something I've observed in my friends, it's something I've
observed in myself. And I I've never really broken up
with somebody, or if I have, it was like a
mutual breakup. But that's my pattern is I sort of fall.
I stumble into dating someone and then I can't stumble
(24:24):
out of it.
Speaker 6 (24:26):
Unless unless I accidentally tweet it, which I feel really
bad about.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
I feel so much guilt about that.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
I don't know what Twitter works, things like wait, what
if you did? What? Wow?
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Like it's embarrassing enough when you accidentally like a picture
that's from ten years ago, but to actually tweet out
I'm about to break up with my boyfriend.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
Ow.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
And I think it was two days before I realized
it and then I took it down for anyone listening.
Just by the way, if you respond, if you get
a message from Twitter, that's like you have a message
and you respond to it, it tweets it.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
It is not a direct message, yes, and then just
tweeting at you.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Yeah, sure, it does still funny.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Yeah, Well, the funny thing is he never mentioned it,
but I'm sure he saw it and we did break up.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
You broke up soon after, oh yeah, oh, which is
when you and I were first hanging out and all
that went down. Yeah, I still find it very funny.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Yeah, oh gosh, no, No, I mean I do feel
bad about it, because that's one of those things where
you can I can see both sides of it, where
one like, there are a couple of reasons, some of
them internal and some of them external. Actually that I couldn't.
I felt like I couldn't in that relationship at that time,
(25:54):
but I could have, and I knew it was coming
and I was sort of waiting for him to do it,
which is not great, But I had my reasons. I
guess what I'm saying is like there was a bunch
going on, but it is a pattern and a half.
It's a pattern that half.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
I mean, I don't have many breakup experiences. It's just
because I've not been in a long term. This is
my first long term relationship. The few that I had,
Like I said, the one dude broke up with me
over an emoji, Yeah, I feel about that.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
Social media has ruined it all.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I just want you to know that technology has ruined
it all, has made it well, that has made it
good and bad, like it's just one extreme or the other.
But the ends the message I think it was Google
chat actually, and the sad face when I'm like, just
you just need to tell me.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
What you want.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
If you don't want to be with me anymore, then
let me know, and his response was sad emoji.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
That's oh my god.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Again, to be fair, I may have rushed this because
I knew what the sad emoji was, so I was
like what, and we didn't talk anymore.
Speaker 4 (27:16):
I think I responded was I don't.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Know what this means, and I think he responded with
something I don't even know if he responded to that.
I ended up seeing him at a show because of
course you know how that goes, and I ran out
because I saw him.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
And I was like I can't be here, and that
was the end.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I never heard from again, except for when he had
a new girlfriend who ended up being mutual friends with
someone and I ran into him at my best friend's
place and I was like, what the are you doing here?
So that was fun anyway, so many things in this level,
but that's also my He was a whole story because
(27:57):
he was like my love bombing addict soon after a
really bad relationship with an Asian woman.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
I should have known, Yeah, I should have known.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
I mean eighty way.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Still sad emoji, which then a friend of a former
friend of mine decided to use in his song Emo song,
and I was like, why did you do this to me?
Speaker 4 (28:22):
And he didn't tell me.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Instead he made me listen to the song and when
I realized what the song was about, and I turned
to look at him, like what the is this?
Speaker 4 (28:31):
I have good friends, y'all.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
But yeah, Like there's a whole pattern to things. I
find it interesting. You have a pattern of accidentally dating.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
I have a.
Speaker 4 (28:41):
Pattern and running away and just ghosting. I ghost I ghosted.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Many a dudes. Mm hmmm, I don't mean too. I'm
also bad at confrontation, surprisingly.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Yeah, yeah, no, I mean that's part of the reason
why I feel like why I've never.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Really had a break up, but I've had.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Like, like I said, things, fights that kind of were
mutually broken up, but I feel like I can't initiate
it because of the confrontation thing, which I do think
dates back to trauma, but also oh yeah, just conditioning
as well. But I ghosted a lot of people in
(29:18):
terms because I knew that was a problem for me,
that I wouldn't feel comfortable breaking up or leaving, so
I did ghost.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
That's actually surprising, yeah, But mostly it was like.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
It was sort of like a early date, like we
hadn't really maybe it was like a first or second
quote date.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
And I realized that.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
That's just like thing, you don't really owe anybody. We've
got into a whole thing. You should talk about this later,
but you don't really owe anybody anything for a couple
of dates, and especially for women who have to be
the ones to be like, I don't like this, and
then if the dude really fills the opposite and starts
harassing you, that's a whole different conversation. To be fair,
(30:07):
men go through this too, I'm sure, but it's a
volatile level that women have to deal with that a
lot of men don't.
Speaker 4 (30:15):
But I feel like there's.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
A point in which you're like, Okay, look, I don't
really owe an explanation other than I don't I'm not
feeling this, and sure it'd be nice and mature, but
I don't feel like it's completely wrong, especially in the
world of online dating.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
Right.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
And I mean it's one of those things where it's
like kind of an unfortunate symptom of our culture around dating.
Because if I felt like I could just tell a guy, hey,
not feeling it and he would accept that, or I
would feel safe doing that, then I probably would because
I would want that on my end.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
Although sometimes I've.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
Been ghosted, I'm actually kind of like, okay, yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
Trying to think have I been ghosted? Yes, I have
been ghosted.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
I just assumed they found someone better, like it just
it didn't hurt my feelings. But then when I see
them again, I'm like.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Oh, oh, hi, run that's kind of that's what it
was like for me.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Like it wasn't fun necessarily, but I kind of was like, Okay,
they're not into it, right, I got it, right, But
because that I for reasons that are for just personal
but also cultural. I don't feel like I can do
that sometimes, so then that's where the ghosting comes in.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
Right, that's the whole level of safety.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
But obviously, and I don't think Sex and the City
ever talks about online dating is the I can't remember
in the first season of and just like that if
they talk about it yet.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
They briefly mentioned it, but not in depth at all.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Okay, because the only single one technically was Sam and
Samantha's gone, so and Neil Carrie, who's a widow but
she just immediately made out with her producer, don't do
that advice, But yeah, I think there's a lot. This
was definitely one of those roundabouts. Do you who are
(32:09):
you attracted to? We know your type is apparently Luke Skywalker.
Speaker 4 (32:13):
I do. I do nerdy boys.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Typically artistical boys like and I will never date a
musician again.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
I will never date, yes, never again. Thought about that
with like comedians too.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
I'm like, I would not want to date a comedian
because like they would take your life as a joke.
I guess dating us would be bad is bad to
since we're podcasters and we're quite open about our lives.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
I've thought about that, believe.
Speaker 6 (32:47):
That.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
I mean, we're talking about before right now.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
You know, as we're trying to hide and hope that
the people of our past don't listen to this.
Speaker 4 (32:57):
Yeah, sorry until your name. I feel like we're pretty
kind is unless you piss us off. But yes, so
there you go.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
We have the Buddy, in which we find no new romances,
but habits.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
That will be.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Corying along, right, And I think those habits can they
shine a light on stuff about you as well as
to why you do that? But yes, I hope in
the next one, I'll get even better with my title
guessing situation.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Shouldn't make you do more than one sentence though the whole.
Like I guess it's Buddy. That's gonna work anymore? Any No,
don't put rules, I'll never win.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Well, Okay, So we are slowly chipping away towards our
listener participation episode. It's coming and we are very, very
excited to do it, and we've given the details in
the past one. I think like this might be your
last chance to enter because we're getting It's not that
we're getting good, so we're going to have to We're
gonna have to like plan things and do things. So
(34:10):
we're we are getting closed, but there's still like, I
don't know, ten episodes, which is wild.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
It's never ending.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Yeah, I forgot that TV seasons used to be like
twenty six episodes. Yeah, but yeah, we are gonna We're
getting there. But this is your fine. I would say,
this is your last call to enter for this time.
We're going to do it more than once, but for
this season if you want to participate in the meantime,
Thanks as always to superducer Christina, who makes these happen amazing.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
You can contact us if you would like.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
You can email us at Stuff Media, mom Stuff at
iHeartMedia dot com. You can find us on Twitter at
mom Stuff podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok stuff I've
Never Told You. We're also on YouTube.
Speaker 3 (34:57):
We have a book.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
You can pre order it u is at stuff you
should read books dot com. Again, thanks as always to
our super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya, and our
contributor Joey.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Thank you, yes, and thanks to you for listening. Steff
I Never told you spection of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, you can check
out the Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, wherever you listen
to your favorite shows.
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Steff.
I never told you a production Yheart Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Yes, and welcome to another edition of Watching Sex and
the City. Getting Annie's reaction and enjoying our time together
in this happy hour. Yay, that's more a descriptive than
a title. That's how I do. If you are joining
us for the happy hour, please do so responsibly whatever
you are doing, whether it's driving, whether it's taking care
(00:40):
of your kids, whether it's just sitting.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
To being on something respony.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I feel like I actually should do that more because
I during the pandemic, I have not been sitting responsibly.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
You know, I've watched myself It's like I'm hunched over.
I'm like, this is not uncomfortable. But all of those things,
and if we're talking about any products, as of this point,
we are probably not sponsored by that product, but who knows.
Things can change. Hopefully things will change. We'll get more
good sponsors with good products, am I right? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Anyway, so today.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
We are doing our watch party, but we are actually
separate this time around peak behind the curtains. We are
sitting in our own respective private offices, I guess, private
studios and I gotta do webcam and then it's is
very detailed. I cannot stop looking at myself right Irving.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
We actually both got this is kind of funny to
me that you're just now using it because we got
it in the same time, and I it was a
real learning curve for me because it went from like, oh,
I don't really like what I'm seeing, but it's all right,
to whoa, look at the same.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Why why is all of this happening? And I'm not
a floating head anymore. You could actually see what's behind me.
Speaker 5 (02:06):
This is on.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Yes, anyway, I'm very distracted as we're trying to record this,
so excuse me in advance.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
That's so too much email.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Okay, all right, eighty we're coming back. We are on
episode fourteen of season two, slowly walking our.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
Way through all the Sex and the Cities.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
We may have retired before the end of this episode.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
It's taking us on and me like living together and
I'll be like, finally episode ninety.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Four, it's gonna be the commune that we've been dreaming of. Well,
just retire, but we're still watching Sex.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
And the City and having like commentary though no one
is listening.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Podcasts no longer exists. We're still going for it though.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
I'm you know this about me excited to know.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
That even if I were to be dead tomorrow, you'll
still keep going.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Oh, absolutely, thank you.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
He's a traditional lie, Annie, I will.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Speaking of traditions, we need a replay or tell us
a review of what has been happening in the world
of sex and the City.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Okay, I feel like the big thing that has happened
is that.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Carrie had.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
A quote like revelation that she's dating men who are
not good for her. In this case, mister Big who
was like moved to Paris and wasn't willing to commit,
and she really wanted to commit, and she went to
a therapist for like a half second and met bon Jovi.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
I guess yes, John bon Jovi specifically, Oh excuse me,
Christina cut it.
Speaker 6 (03:53):
But I didn't know who that was. I was like, well,
I know forever You're like, who's that. I'm like, oh my,
I recognize the day. I just I didn't recognize him.
But anyway, so we got that going on.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
We had an episode we discussed recently in a Mondane
and any that you experience embarrassment very vividly we had
that scene with Miranda where she was sort of flirting
with the guy she thought was flirting with her crossed
the way at the apartments and that was not the case.
We have Samantha continuing to like she was at a
BDSM club, just sort of getting into all of these
(04:35):
situations with people, and then Charlotte trying to find the
one and continually dating people that I'm like, wow, that
was way off, but you know, I get it.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
I've been there. So that's about it.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Theres are getting better and better. I feel like I
like them.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Okay, So we have our next episode and the title
is The Buddy. Yeah, oh yeah, okay, or the Sex
Buddy for trying to edit out if we're trying to
be PG thirteen the sex Buddy rather than buddy, but
the title is the Buddy. Can you give me a
guess as to what this episode is about.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I feel like I had my revelation of my own
in the last one, which is at the time I
was going for like deep metaphor and then it's way
more spot on, and then you give me a title
like this, So I'm gonna say it.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Is a situation with a buddy.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
In this case, being someone you.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Have sex with occasionally, which I feel like happened in
one of the earlier episodes already.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
But yeah, someone you have sex with that are not dating,
and then maybe somebody you like talk to about sacks.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
But if what's the most straightforward, buddy?
Speaker 4 (06:05):
So I'm assuming you've never had one I had.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
I've been asked to be one. I have never been one.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
Like they officially asked for that. That is interesting.
Speaker 5 (06:20):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Really, I will say the one that I had was
just the dude that I would meet up with in
between relationships if everything, like if I had a relationship
or a thing fell apart and I just needed someone
to lay on me, just to lay on me. He
was the dude and we would I would go over late.
He was never allowed in my place. I would go
over to his place late at night and leave early morning.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
End the story. And we never dated. There was some
crossing of the lines.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
And we'll talk a little bit more, but like it
rarely got there, and it never really got there.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
And then he got engaged and things were over and I.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Was like, yeah, okaybye's I've had one.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
But he was around for like five six years.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Oh wow. But then once he got on relationship.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Yes, we were always appropriate. We never got together when
each other we were into a thing. It was literally
in between for both of us. I was you know,
my friends really hated him, all right. We never listened
to this episode because we have mutual friends. Oh no,
of all episodes, if he listened to this, like, y'all,
(07:37):
what is happening?
Speaker 4 (07:38):
Okay, let's get into this because I'm embarrassing myself. Really. Well, here,
I ran.
Speaker 7 (07:57):
Into my friend's skipper on the street the other day.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Do you remember, Skip?
Speaker 5 (07:59):
He was most in frantic he'd just broken up with
another girl.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Well, we haven't seen him in a minute.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
He's an a but he's back, he's been for a second.
Speaker 5 (08:07):
What did she say? She thought was wrong?
Speaker 4 (08:10):
Skipper?
Speaker 5 (08:10):
You're a very sweet guy, and this isn't about anything
you did.
Speaker 7 (08:15):
It's just that we are in very different places right now.
We want different things from life.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Classic.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
Have you ever had to do a breakup like this?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Actually no, I'm kind of a coward, to be honest.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
I don't think I have either.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I always wait for them to break up with me.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
I had the one breakup in high school where I
went on one date with him and didn't really think
I had to do a breakup, but I had to,
in which I said you deserve more than me.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
I had to say that, and.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
He was like, no, I don't want anyone else but you.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
High school, y'all high school? Oh wow oh.
Speaker 5 (08:53):
Later that night, on a data Crosstown, Miranda was repeating
a pattern of her own. She had been dating a
lawyer she met when they got into a big fight
in court. A frequent guest on MSNBC, Kevin was not
just argumentative, he was an anger professional.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
You know.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
I think I got to revise my opinion that you
got to be an idiot to want to go out
to a movie these days. I mean, it was worse
than nineteen bucks plus ten dollars in snacks and.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
Water just to hear that bus driver behind.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
To be fair, he's not wrong about that movie experience.
Not that I'm the angry person, but I'm just saying, sure, you've.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
Got a very obvious pattern.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
You know, I do would tell me you wait for
a perfect guy to ask you on a perfect day.
Speaker 5 (09:50):
And when he does, you project this huge fantasy on him.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Which, by the way, I feel like that's what Carrie
did too. It's a big. She put expectations onto him
and it that's true.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
I mean, it's definitely like Charlotte's whole thing is kind
of the Disney fairy tale.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Prince Carrie did it too.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Yeah, none of us can afford to fall into this
one man at a time past. Sam is all about
not one minute a time, and I can't say she
being in my forties in a relationship. Finally, I feel
like I missed a lot of opportunities, partially because I
am too loyal and dependable to be like floating about.
But the dating around may have been the better way
(10:32):
to go, at least to know what I like. I
love where I am, but as a younger person, where
I'm missing so many opportunities.
Speaker 7 (10:39):
The same person over and over again.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
Well, I guess I have dated quite a few artists,
but I don't think they were all the same person.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Okay, do you have a type any Yes? Is it
all Luke Skywalker kind talk about projecting and impossible standards?
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Yeah, it's kind of comical, how much of it.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
It's embarrassing you never met this one, y'all. If this
cross is over, you're gonna get people who challenge you
because you've already had that challenge to begin with, so
now it's going to be even more so I have.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
That's an interesting flip side, though, of Flank projecting too
much onto someone and then them.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Being like, no, it's not too much. I am the
one that.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Can encompass this and you can't because and it's not
not realistic.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Inevitably, they will disappoint and then be angry that they've disappointed, Yes.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Because they feel like they've done everything to do it,
and I'm just like, it's not I never asked you to,
for one, but also it's just not possible.
Speaker 7 (11:55):
Why had I been keeping him on the bench all
these years?
Speaker 5 (11:58):
Did I really believe a relationship had to be difficult
in order to work?
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (12:02):
Is she going to try to step up?
Speaker 5 (12:05):
Do you enough?
Speaker 7 (12:05):
Dinner? Friday night dinner?
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
So, as I said, the little buddy and I my
little buddy, we would have different times. I think that
we tried to make it more and it just inevitably
went wrong, and but our timing was way off and
so it never happened, and it was a good thing. Again,
as I said, my friends did not like him, did
(12:30):
not like him.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Okay, because of the funny part or just in general.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
No, because they didn't actually know he was buddy. Only
a couple of people knew.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
They just knew him, and because we kind of like
he was far enough away from my social circle, but
we would still interact so we would still know going on,
and the people closest to me knew of him and
hung out with him every now and again when we
were all together. Was not a fan of him. I
thought he was really obnoxious. I really hope he doesn't
(13:03):
hear this episode. It's gonna be really sad.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
My situation was a It was a friend who I
had wanted to date and he knew I had wanted
to date, and he came back with what if we
were buddies? And I was like, yo, that kind of
I mean, I get like, I think you can have
a healthy situation, but for me, that felt very like
I don't want to date you.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Yeah that's a backhanded if it's really like I like you,
but he's putting you on the sidelines.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
Mmmmm, keeping you on the in the back.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
When he knew what I wanted knew that's cold.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 7 (13:44):
I like most first dates. We were off to an
awkward start.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Already awkward, oh my somewhat racist music to signify sushi.
Speaker 5 (13:59):
The yellowtail sashimi, two pieces of I'm gonna sushi.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
I know, I'm already pretty starting.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
I'm telling you, this show really puts the cravings in
my life between Chinese food, sushi yet and brun Yes, Annie,
you want a really fancy sushi experience.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
I did.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
I did, And funnily enough, I told my mom about it,
and it's just so outside of her experience. She was
like shocked because it was very expensive. Everyone very very expensive,
and she saw it in a magazine and she like
texted me about it, was like, is this is what
you did.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
Isn't it?
Speaker 2 (14:37):
I was like yes, Like yeah, it is like Atlanta's
top everything. I know, it's on cuisine magazines, It's and
like Forbes because it's so prestigious and snobby likely really honest.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Yeah, I mean it's like it was delicious.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
I don't regret it, but it is like I just
had seen the menu and I was like, this is
kind of the thing.
Speaker 5 (15:03):
So if I'm lucky, I might get a whole hour
next time.
Speaker 7 (15:06):
I don't think so.
Speaker 5 (15:07):
But if you're currently an MCI customer and you switch,
then you get two hours for free.
Speaker 7 (15:12):
I was kidding.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
Oh hey, gotcha.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Coming back to them trying to be in a relationship.
He has no sense of humor and really loves his job,
which is to give away collect calls calling call.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
Oh wow, he just made a sock of too me
drink duke. Get out of there, Get out of there now.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
He also doesn't like sushi.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
He says, it doesn't like any raw I don't trust that.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
That is one of my most shameful breakups I've ever
had was over food, where it's like you won't eat that,
we're done.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
I mean, I mean.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Yeah, Like, I think I would have a hard time
right now as I'm like going through my cultural experiences
and trying to be a part of Korean culture. If
he was not into Korean food, he'd he'd be gone right, yeah,
you gotta go.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Meanwhile, Samantha was actually beginning to look forward to the
company of her new neighbors every night like clockwork, right
after the end of the eleven o'clock News.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Previously, Sam has been listening to the dudes to their
neighbors having sex.
Speaker 4 (16:24):
Awkward, but Sam's just gonna get into it.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Oh my gosh, Yes, getting down with the neighbors, very
loud neighbors. Have you ever been caught by a neighbor
you have right when you're like three hour playing.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Three hours? It was an hour thirty minutes. Thank you.
I'm sure somebody heard it. I'm sure somebody did.
Speaker 4 (16:50):
I was told by a neighbor that I got caught.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Oh really, I was, yes, because we were talking about
something and it was related. They weren't trying to shave me.
But I was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry.
But then I had to be like, yeah, I've also
heard you. That's the problem with tart about like yes,
but like have a good apartment.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
Inevitably, yes, you hear the things.
Speaker 5 (17:17):
Oh yeah, Kevin, this is Carrie.
Speaker 7 (17:26):
Thanksmantha and Charlotte.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
This is Kevin.
Speaker 7 (17:28):
That's nice to meet you. I have to have to
go make a quick phone call.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Be right back.
Speaker 7 (17:31):
Waitress, draft beer here.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
He's cute in a tightly wound sort of way.
Speaker 7 (17:38):
He's finding out on Tuesday whether he made a partner.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed the hill on wine.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Some also this nerving.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
I don't know if I would have my one like
my boyfriend with all of my friends, like just him
and like my girlfriends that seem kind.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Of feeling this is. I've had this a lot where
I'm very much like that. I'm like, I wouldn't do
this to you, but I think other people are like, no,
I'm going to introduce the guy.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Don't see it that way, and it kind of has
caused some tension.
Speaker 5 (18:11):
But yeah, I guess.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
I mean, I've introduced my boyfriend, but it's after a
long while and this group thing, and it's not like
me and just like girlfriends. It's like my guy friends,
all of us just hanging out, but not that.
Speaker 6 (18:23):
It seemed like he came in like all guns blazing,
like angry and loud.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Angry and loud. She's cleaning off his glass, like.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
My throat is so sore.
Speaker 4 (18:40):
I've just been fighting this cold all week. Oh I'm
so sorry.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Really, I'm so suspicious. I never do stuff like that.
I'm worried i'd actually get sick.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
I have canceled dates, but I'm not in the middle
of dates.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
I'm not good at getting out of dates.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
I've told you this when like I was with the
really awkward date and the dude was like, I'm gonna
order another bed I'm like, I'm done.
Speaker 4 (19:09):
I guess I'm gonna sit here and look at you.
Speaker 8 (19:11):
Yeah, Charlotte, Oh Eric, what are you?
Speaker 7 (19:21):
What are you doing here?
Speaker 3 (19:23):
I was just leaving you some chicken soup for your throat.
I see you've healed.
Speaker 7 (19:29):
Who is this guy? I'm the guy she had dinner
with before.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
You you double books.
Speaker 7 (19:35):
Hey, Hey, don't feel bad, Bud.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
At least you got the late shift.
Speaker 7 (19:38):
I mean you got to take her upstairs.
Speaker 8 (19:39):
I don't think so.
Speaker 7 (19:42):
Enjoy the soup.
Speaker 8 (19:44):
Hey, you going to.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
Town west side?
Speaker 8 (19:48):
I want to share a cap.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
Sure they're best friends now.
Speaker 5 (19:52):
From that moment on, Charlotte developed a new pattern. She
made it a rule never to take advice from her
friends again.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
But why would she doubles have to be careful book?
Why would you do it on the same day, That's
that's nonsense. No, And also, just be up front. I'm
dating around.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
We're not committed exclusive.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
I'm Sam's got an invite by the neighbors to join.
Speaker 5 (20:24):
The musician and the dancer turned out to be a
middle aged Eastern European couple.
Speaker 7 (20:29):
He played in a poka band. She was a dancer
once upon a time.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Sam Sanda's all lambed up.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Would you mind keeping it down? I'm trying to get some.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
Sleep, and now she's walking away.
Speaker 7 (20:44):
Samantha broke a pattern after all.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Okay, I really need to know do women wear this
type of lingerie with the clipped tight sky highs that
looks I've seen he was. This sounds real ridiculous because
I'm like, I've seen them for exists, but there's like
practicality of it. It's like, do people actually wear this
(21:06):
or is this the beginning of a costume for porn?
Speaker 4 (21:10):
Because I'm feeling.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yeah, yeah, I own in real life. Actually own't wear
that in real life.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
I mean, let us no listeners.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Like I said, I own some of it, but I've
never like worn it outside of like I want to
feel sexy one.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
Day, but not for anyone else.
Speaker 5 (21:27):
Right, isn't this the most amazing block? All these brownstones
are over one hundred years old? You know, it's like
being in the New York of.
Speaker 7 (21:43):
Edith Wharton and Henry James.
Speaker 5 (21:46):
Sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am to.
Speaker 7 (21:49):
Live right here. What the Tit's look really great in
that thing. At that moment, I knew we only had
two things in common. Listen, I did invite you in,
but oh no, that's okay. I gotta get up really
early tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
So well that's that. I guess.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
That's when you figured out you have nothing in common.
Speaker 5 (22:16):
M good. I I knew it was the last time
we'd ever see each other.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
Oh no, this is what happens when you try to
make it.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Yeah, and you get to actually know him, and then
you're like, I don't like that the.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
End of the buddy. Okay, so you got the.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Buddy part right, I mean, you didn't guess anything else.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
But okay, I'm learning. I am learning.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
I'll give you a bee. I'll give you a bee
for all of this. Yeah. Sure, sure, there's so many
things to this.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
But now that I've shared so much of my personal life,
way too much of my personal and by the way,
it's been years. Obviously, I've been in my relationship for
like five six years. Time doesn't exist. But yeah, it's
been a minute since this whole origin. But I think
it's kind of funny because we were having this conversation
knowing that this episode is coming. I was talking about
(23:32):
buddies and then about boys and the turn of phrase
that have happened as of recent and I'm sure people
can't complain. I'm just talking about the term. I'm not
saying good or bad about any of these things, and
it's just a thing. But I do think it's funny
in seeing like the pattern, the breakup pattern versus your
dating pattern versus your attraction pattern, and what that all
(23:56):
looks like, and they kind of cover it pretty well.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
Yeah, okol way obviously.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Yeah, I mean I think that's it is true. I mean,
it's something I've observed in my friends, it's something I've
observed in myself. And I I've never really broken up
with somebody, or if I have, it was like a
mutual breakup. But that's my pattern is I sort of fall.
I stumble into dating someone and then I can't stumble
(24:24):
out of it.
Speaker 6 (24:26):
Unless unless I accidentally tweet it, which I feel really
bad about.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
I feel so much guilt about that.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
I don't know what Twitter works, things like wait, what
if you did? What? Wow?
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Like it's embarrassing enough when you accidentally like a picture
that's from ten years ago, but to actually tweet out
I'm about to break up with my boyfriend.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
Ow.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
And I think it was two days before I realized
it and then I took it down for anyone listening.
Just by the way, if you respond, if you get
a message from Twitter, that's like you have a message
and you respond to it, it tweets it.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
It is not a direct message, yes, and then just
tweeting at you.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Yeah, sure, it does still funny.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Yeah, Well, the funny thing is he never mentioned it,
but I'm sure he saw it and we did break up.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
You broke up soon after, oh yeah, oh, which is
when you and I were first hanging out and all
that went down. Yeah, I still find it very funny.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Yeah, oh gosh, no, No, I mean I do feel
bad about it, because that's one of those things where
you can I can see both sides of it, where
one like, there are a couple of reasons, some of
them internal and some of them external. Actually that I couldn't.
I felt like I couldn't in that relationship at that time,
(25:54):
but I could have, and I knew it was coming
and I was sort of waiting for him to do it,
which is not great, But I had my reasons. I
guess what I'm saying is like there was a bunch
going on, but it is a pattern and a half.
It's a pattern that half.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
I mean, I don't have many breakup experiences. It's just
because I've not been in a long term. This is
my first long term relationship. The few that I had,
Like I said, the one dude broke up with me
over an emoji, Yeah, I feel about that.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
Social media has ruined it all.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I just want you to know that technology has ruined
it all, has made it well, that has made it
good and bad, like it's just one extreme or the other.
But the ends the message I think it was Google
chat actually, and the sad face when I'm like, just
you just need to tell me.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
What you want.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
If you don't want to be with me anymore, then
let me know, and his response was sad emoji.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
That's oh my god.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Again, to be fair, I may have rushed this because
I knew what the sad emoji was, so I was
like what, and we didn't talk anymore.
Speaker 4 (27:16):
I think I responded was I don't.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Know what this means, and I think he responded with
something I don't even know if he responded to that.
I ended up seeing him at a show because of
course you know how that goes, and I ran out
because I saw him.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
And I was like I can't be here, and that
was the end.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I never heard from again, except for when he had
a new girlfriend who ended up being mutual friends with
someone and I ran into him at my best friend's
place and I was like, what the are you doing here?
So that was fun anyway, so many things in this level,
but that's also my He was a whole story because
(27:57):
he was like my love bombing addict soon after a
really bad relationship with an Asian woman.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
I should have known, Yeah, I should have known.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
I mean eighty way.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Still sad emoji, which then a friend of a former
friend of mine decided to use in his song Emo song,
and I was like, why did you do this to me?
Speaker 4 (28:22):
And he didn't tell me.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Instead he made me listen to the song and when
I realized what the song was about, and I turned
to look at him, like what the is this?
Speaker 4 (28:31):
I have good friends, y'all.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
But yeah, Like there's a whole pattern to things. I
find it interesting. You have a pattern of accidentally dating.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
I have a.
Speaker 4 (28:41):
Pattern and running away and just ghosting. I ghost I ghosted.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Many a dudes. Mm hmmm, I don't mean too. I'm
also bad at confrontation, surprisingly.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Yeah, yeah, no, I mean that's part of the reason
why I feel like why I've never.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Really had a break up, but I've had.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Like, like I said, things, fights that kind of were
mutually broken up, but I feel like I can't initiate
it because of the confrontation thing, which I do think
dates back to trauma, but also oh yeah, just conditioning
as well. But I ghosted a lot of people in
(29:18):
terms because I knew that was a problem for me,
that I wouldn't feel comfortable breaking up or leaving, so
I did ghost.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
That's actually surprising, yeah, But mostly it was like.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
It was sort of like a early date, like we
hadn't really maybe it was like a first or second
quote date.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
And I realized that.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
That's just like thing, you don't really owe anybody. We've
got into a whole thing. You should talk about this later,
but you don't really owe anybody anything for a couple
of dates, and especially for women who have to be
the ones to be like, I don't like this, and
then if the dude really fills the opposite and starts
harassing you, that's a whole different conversation. To be fair,
(30:07):
men go through this too, I'm sure, but it's a
volatile level that women have to deal with that a
lot of men don't.
Speaker 4 (30:15):
But I feel like there's.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
A point in which you're like, Okay, look, I don't
really owe an explanation other than I don't I'm not
feeling this, and sure it'd be nice and mature, but
I don't feel like it's completely wrong, especially in the
world of online dating.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
Right.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
And I mean it's one of those things where it's
like kind of an unfortunate symptom of our culture around dating.
Because if I felt like I could just tell a guy, hey,
not feeling it and he would accept that, or I
would feel safe doing that, then I probably would because
I would want that on my end.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
Although sometimes I've.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
Been ghosted, I'm actually kind of like, okay, yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
Trying to think have I been ghosted? Yes, I have
been ghosted.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
I just assumed they found someone better, like it just
it didn't hurt my feelings. But then when I see
them again, I'm like.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Oh, oh, hi, run that's kind of that's what it
was like for me.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Like it wasn't fun necessarily, but I kind of was like, Okay,
they're not into it, right, I got it, right, But
because that I for reasons that are for just personal
but also cultural. I don't feel like I can do
that sometimes, so then that's where the ghosting comes in.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
Right, that's the whole level of safety.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
But obviously, and I don't think Sex and the City
ever talks about online dating is the I can't remember
in the first season of and just like that if
they talk about it yet.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
They briefly mentioned it, but not in depth at all.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Okay, because the only single one technically was Sam and
Samantha's gone, so and Neil Carrie, who's a widow but
she just immediately made out with her producer, don't do
that advice, But yeah, I think there's a lot. This
was definitely one of those roundabouts. Do you who are
(32:09):
you attracted to? We know your type is apparently Luke Skywalker.
Speaker 4 (32:13):
I do. I do nerdy boys.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Typically artistical boys like and I will never date a
musician again.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
I will never date, yes, never again. Thought about that
with like comedians too.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
I'm like, I would not want to date a comedian
because like they would take your life as a joke.
I guess dating us would be bad is bad to
since we're podcasters and we're quite open about our lives.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
I've thought about that, believe.
Speaker 6 (32:47):
That.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
I mean, we're talking about before right now.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
You know, as we're trying to hide and hope that
the people of our past don't listen to this.
Speaker 4 (32:57):
Yeah, sorry until your name. I feel like we're pretty
kind is unless you piss us off. But yes, so
there you go.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
We have the Buddy, in which we find no new romances,
but habits.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
That will be.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Corying along, right, And I think those habits can they
shine a light on stuff about you as well as
to why you do that? But yes, I hope in
the next one, I'll get even better with my title
guessing situation.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Shouldn't make you do more than one sentence though the whole.
Like I guess it's Buddy. That's gonna work anymore? Any No,
don't put rules, I'll never win.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Well, Okay, So we are slowly chipping away towards our
listener participation episode. It's coming and we are very, very
excited to do it, and we've given the details in
the past one. I think like this might be your
last chance to enter because we're getting It's not that
we're getting good, so we're going to have to We're
gonna have to like plan things and do things. So
(34:10):
we're we are getting closed, but there's still like, I
don't know, ten episodes, which is wild.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
It's never ending.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Yeah, I forgot that TV seasons used to be like
twenty six episodes. Yeah, but yeah, we are gonna We're
getting there. But this is your fine. I would say,
this is your last call to enter for this time.
We're going to do it more than once, but for
this season if you want to participate in the meantime,
Thanks as always to superducer Christina, who makes these happen amazing.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
You can contact us if you would like.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
You can email us at Stuff Media, mom Stuff at
iHeartMedia dot com. You can find us on Twitter at
mom Stuff podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok stuff I've
Never Told You. We're also on YouTube.
Speaker 3 (34:57):
We have a book.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
You can pre order it u is at stuff you
should read books dot com. Again, thanks as always to
our super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya, and our
contributor Joey.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Thank you, yes, and thanks to you for listening. Steff
I Never told you spection of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, you can check
out the Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, wherever you listen
to your favorite shows.
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